AMARA_GREEN ANALISA AVERY BILLY BRAWLER_1 BRAWLER_2 BRAWLER_3 CAPTAIN_MASSEY DOCTOR GUESTS GUEST_1 GUEST_10 GUEST_12 GUEST_14 GUEST_15 GUEST_2 GUEST_4 GUEST_5 GUEST_6 GUEST_7 GUEST_8 GUEST_9 HEATHER HIGHFIELD HUDSON_KIM KELLY MAX SAM SECURITY_1 SPENCER TRISTAN WALLA MAX Nine. TRISTAN MAX Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Ten. Ten! MAX 205, bro. That's insane. TRISTAN TRISTAN Yeah, you want the same? MAX Gimme 40 more. TRISTAN You know, I still haven't decided what I wanna do abut what you did with Avery. You broke the code. MAX Bro code? Seriously? TRISTAN That's the code of conduct, Maxwell Bankman. Page 83, section A, prohibiting intimate relationships between supervisors and subordinates. MAX TRISTAN You know, it's grounds for termination. You've been a very bad boy. MAX I got it. I got it. I got it. TRISTAN Ooh. Oh, I heard a hemorrhoid pop. You okay? MAX It won't happen again. Scout's honor. So don't turn me in. MAX However, what we really need to talk about is this obsession you have with Avery. TRISTAN Um, that's what I plan on dealing with this week. You know what they say, the best way to get over one person is-- MAX Therapy. TRISTAN To get underneath someone else. TRISTAN Singles week, Max. Strap in. WALLA GUEST 5 No, no, no. Damn it. GUEST 5 I'm so sorry, I can't find my phone. Could I, uh, could I use yours to call it? KELLY Oh, yeah. Of course. Here. GUEST 5 Thank you. GUEST 5 I swear I am not high. Would you look.. Look at that. I... Tha-Tha-Thank you so much. KELLY KELLY Okay. GUEST 5 PRINCIPAL PHOTOGRAPHY Perfect Ass AVERY Oh, God. It's like a pilgrimage to a Mecca for the chronically insecure. MAX I dunno. Going on a week-long cruise all by yourself. I think that takes brass balls. TRISTAN They're not all so bad. MAX Oof, absolutely not. AVERY You are both cardboard cutouts with erections. TRISTAN I can live with that. GUEST 1 GUEST 2 You made it. GUEST 1 I don't know how I let you talk me into this. A singles cruise? I'm having heart palpitations. GUEST 2 It's called being excited. Don't worry, I will be right here the whole time, Glamma. I will be your beach bitch. GUEST 1 Language. I don't wanna hear that word this week. Glamma. GUEST 1 Luggage. MAX Basal insulin, bolus insulin, and hydrocortisone cream. AVERY Check, check and check. AVERY Hey. I need you to do me a favor. The singles week eventually warms up, but the first night is awkward. AVERY The captain's dinner, everyone just stands around and hugs the wall like a bunch of seventh graders at a sock hop, so he makes us take the lead. MAX What, like, dance with the guests? Not me, right? I'm a doctor. AVERY Exactly. You're a hot, young, single doctor. So, especially you. But I have a plan. We'll pair up, do our little shimmy shake. We'll set the mood, but we won't have to engage. MAX I can't. AVERY Tristan? AVERY What? It's so obvious. MAX He would never forgive me. AVERY This crush isn't real, it's puppy love. Some unresolved mommy issues. He needs to get over it. MAX AVERY Fine. I'll just dance with some human petri dish and get scabies and die. Speaking of which, we need more pubic lice shampoo. MAX You really don't like singles week, do you? Bad experience? AVERY No. It's just, relationships are not my thing. AVERY I spent eight years in school with no financial help. It took two jobs to get through, all so I could pursue this career where I dedicate myself to people, you know? Humanity at large. MAX Eight years. You could've been a doctor. AVERY Yes, I could have been if I had done that schooling in the right order, which I did not. TRISTAN Situation. Top deck. Hot tubs. MAX Situation? What does that mean? AVERY Means bring ice packs. BRAWLER 1 / BRAWLER 2 / BRAWLER 3 BRAWLER 1 Bitch! Jeffrey deserves you! You never wanted Jeffrey till I did! WALLA BRAWLER 2 SECURITY 1 / SECURITY 2 BRAWLER 3 BRAWLER 3 Oh, shut up! SECURITY 1 Hey, stop! SECURITY 1 / SECURITY 2 Whoa! TRISTAN I felt that. AVERY I tasted that. BRAWLER 3 Nasty, dirty little trifling girls. BRAWLER 2 You want a rematch? Whistle through that gap tooth, jack-o'-lantern face ass. BRAWLER 3 You pirate-looking bitch! BRAWLER 2 BRAWLER 3 AVERY No, hey. Stop it. Sop it. Stop it. Stop it! Stop! MAX Whoa. BRAWLER 3 AVERY Hold still. Geez. What, are you all fighting over some man? BRAWLER 3 Not some man, my man. He wanted to bring his girlfriend and his little side piece too. I'm cool. "Bring 'em on the cruise," I say. And then I catch this bitch tryna take off the damn condom like I wouldn't see it. BRAWLER 2 It's not like you gon' give him a baby. Womb like a haunted house. Just dusty. It's dusty. AVERY Okay, okay, okay. When we fight over men, we instantly give them complete and total power over us. Look at yourselves. No man is worth this. BRAWLER 1 Jeffrey is. BRAWLER 2 Mm-hmm. Mmm. BRAWLER 3 Mm-hmm. Jeffrey is that D. You know what I'm saying? BRAWLER 1 And when that D calls, you drop everything and run. BRAWLER 2 Amen. AVERY Okay, well I've never had any D like that. And if you keep up this stupid fight, I am having all three of you dropped off in Puerta del Sol. BRAWLER 2 Aw, girl. you need to get you some. You know, for your health. Don't you know? You're a doctor. AVERY I'm a nurse, not a doctor. BRAWLER 2 Oh. Okay. TRISTAN WALLA CAPTAIN MASSEY Okay, kids. You know the drill. Dance. And don't make me ask you twice. MAX So, what's the deal here? We're just supposed to pick somebody and make them dance with us? TRISTAN If you're you, yes. If you're me, they just walk right up. MAX Oh, Tristan. Don't do this to yourself again. Remember what happened last time? We could end up in a dance off. AVERY Maybe she's coming to ask me to dance. KELLY Hi. Sorry. I'm so nervous and everything inside me is telling me I should just go back to my cabin and scroll on my phone all night. So I'm going to not do that. TRISTAN TRISTAN KELLY Do you wanna dance? TRISTAN Huh? Uh, yes. KELLY Cool. TRISTAN After you. AVERY And away we go. MAX GUEST 1 MAX Excuse me, miss. Would you care to dance? I'm legally obligated to ask someone to dance. GUEST 1 Why don't you go? GUEST 2 I'd love to. MAX Fantastic. GUEST 2 MAX So, your friend... GUEST 2 Who is definitely, one hundred percent not my grandma. MAX GUEST 2 I begged her to come on this trip. I just... I don't want her to regret it. MAX I have an idea. GUEST 2 Oh. MAX Do you see tat handsome gentleman in the white jacket over my shoulder? GUEST 2 Mmm. Yes, I do. MAX What do you think? GUEST 1 What do you say, Captain? Shall we show these kids a thing or two? CAPTAIN MASSEY I would be honored. CAPTAIN MASSEY GUEST 1 Can I tell you a secret? CAPTAIN MASSEY Sure. GUEST 1 This being single thing is very new to me. CAPTAIN MASSEY Well you're faking it beautifully. GUEST 1 I'm definitely the oldest single person here. CAPTAIN MASSEY GUEST 1 And probably also the only widow. CAPTAIN MASSEY I'm sorry. GUEST 1 Oh, he was an A-hole. Lucky for me, it makes grieving a lot easier. CAPTAIN MASSEY Well, you're in good company. CAPTAIN MASSEY Maybe you're the only widow here, but your dance partner is the only widower. As far as I know. GUEST 1 Hmm. How long? CAPTAIN MASSEY A year ago. But unlucky for me, she was my everything. GUEST 1 CAPTAIN MASSEY And now I'm just kind've out here, adrift. CAPTAIN MASSEY Whoa. CAPTAIN MASSEY That's our cue. KELLY TRISTAN KELLY TRISTAN Whoa, whoa, whoa. Kelly? Kelly? MAIN TITLE DOCTOR ODYSSEY MAX Let's start with what we can rule out. AVERY It's not a cardiac arrhythmia, her heart rate is normal. TRISTAN She said she's not taking any medication, so it's not an adverse reaction. It's definitely not dehydration. She doesn't go anywhere without that dumb, trendy water bottle. MAX Sudden onset is concerning. What can come on suddenly with only one symptom? Syncope? TRISTAN Vasovagal syncope? Fainting as a response to an emotional trigger? PRINCIPAL PHOTOGRAPHY ACTIVE AORTIC DISSECTION - UNCONTROLLED HTN - TISSUE CONNECTIVE DISORDERS - CONGENITAL AORTIC STENOSIS - BLUNT TRAUMA PRINCIPAL PHOTOGRAPHY ekg & hr normal ? VASOVAGAL SYNCOPE MAX You think she swooned over you? AVERY It's not unheard of. AVERY In fact, I really hope you're right. TRISTAN Why? AVERY Because if not, she might only have a 30 percent chance of surviving the next 48 hours. AVERY Aortic dissection. KELLY What's going on? What're you doing? MAX We're giving you a transesophageal echocardiogram to get a clearer picture of your heart and see what's going on. TRISTAN I need to turn you, okay? KELLY Mmm... What-What-What do you think it is? TRISTAN Possibly an aortic dissection. A small tear in the aorta. It would come on quickly, and syncope would be one of the first symptoms. KELLY MAX This is a light sedative. KELLY TRISTAN Kelly, hey. You're gonna be okay. AVERY Open your mouth. This spray is a local anesthetic. It's going to numb your throat and your esophagus. KELLY W-W-Wait, wait, wait. I have to be awake for this? No, no, no. Can't you just...Can't you just, like, put me completely under. No-- MAX Unfortunately we cannot. KELLY No, I can't... I need to call my friend Allison. TRISTAN It is imperative that we do this procedure immediately. KELLY No, I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. TRISTAN Kelly, I know. But I'm right here. And I'm not going anywhere, yeah? I won't lie, this is gonna suck, but for a really short amount of time. And then it's gonna be over, and we're gonna figure it all out, okay? KELLY Okay. Okay. Okay. TRISTAN You can do this. You're amazing. Let's go. KELLY TRISTAN You can do this. You're gonna do this. KELLY TRISTAN You can do this, Kelly. You can do this. Hey, it's okay. KELLY Oh, my... TRISTAN Hey, we're so close. AVERY She's hypotensive. Heart rate dropping, 46. TRISTAN Kelly, Kelly. MAX She's in V-fib. Get the probe out, now. AVERY Kelly? TRISTAN Kelly, come on. Stay with me now. Come on, Kelly. Stay with me, Kelly. Come on, Kelly. MAX TRISTAN MAX Charge, clear. KELLY So you still don't know what's wrong with me, then? TRISTAN No. But we do know that you don't have a hole in your heart. TRISTAN We got one picture, and it was enough, Structurally, your heart and your aorta are healthy. KELLY So we're back to square one. TRISTAN No. Not square one. We just eliminated the worst case scenario. TRISTAN We will figure this out. TRISTAN I promise. AVERY GUEST 4 / GUEST 3 / GUEST 5 GUEST 5 What's up? MAX WALLA GUEST 5 Hey, ladies. Hello. GUEST 6 MAX Hey. GUEST 5 'Sup? MAX You are aware that it's not a swingers cruise, right? Or, like, a bath house? GUEST 5 It's singles week, homey. Anything goes. Hey, you're the new doc, right? MAX Yep. GUEST 5 While I got you here, I, uh... I got this thing on my, uh, stomach. MAX MAX Hard to say. Could be eczema. GUEST 5 Oh, sweet. That's harmless, right? Eczema? MAX Yeah. Why don't you come downstairs? I'll take a look at it. GUEST 5 No can do. I got prior obligations. MAX Okay. Uh, well, at least let me get you some condoms. GUEST 5 Oh, no. Never use 'em. Latex, horrible for the environment. You'd be shocked how many turtles choke on those things. GUEST 1 Am I late? CAPTAIN MASSEY No, you're right on time. CAPTAIN MASSEY Well, what do you think? Overkill? Too much for a sunset dinner? BRAWLER 1 It's wonderful. CAPTAIN MASSEY CAPTAIN MASSEY Champagne? GUEST 1 I'm not kidding. CAPTAIN MASSEY GUEST 1 I think for a long time I felt it was just too late for me to do anything exciting or different. But then my husband passed away, and it was a wake-up call. GUEST 1 It's only too late when you're dead. Till then, carpe diem. CAPTAIN MASSEY Seize the day. GUEST 1 Right? CAPTAIN MASSEY Well, the adventure life seems to suit you. GUEST 1 Hmm, I agree. CAPTAIN MASSEY What is it they say about oysters? GUEST 1 GUEST 1 Hold on. You're dribbling. CAPTAIN MASSEY Mmm. GUEST 1 GUEST 1 CAPTAIN MASSEY Mmm. GUEST 1 You're flushed. I think the oysters are doing their job, Captain. CAPTAIN MASSEY GUEST 1 Are you okay? What's happen... Robert. Robert. TRISTAN Everything points to a heart attack. MAX Well, we'll know soon enough. AVERY Sheath. AVERY Catheter has reached the heart. MAX Contrast going in. MAX It was so big. He has all the symptoms of a heart attack, but EKG was normal and the angiogram showed no blockage. AVERY Heart attack but without the heart attack part. Maybe the angiography missed something. MAX When we get his blood tests back, note his troponin levels. If they're elevated, it's almost certainly a heart attack. But if not... SPENCER Sorry. Uh, hey, Avery. SPENCER I'm Spencer Monroe. First officer. Captain's second-in-command. SPENCER How's he doing? MAX Stable. Resting now. We're running some more tests. SPENCER How long is he gonna be out for? AVERY A bit. What is it, Spencer? SPENCER It just showed up on our screen, 150 nautical miles. Maybe seven or eight hours away. Whatever it is, it's equipped with a radar reflector. That's how we were able t pick it up at a distance. SPENCER Might just be debris, a rogue buoy. But could be a life raft. If we're gonna divert we have to do it now, but we need the Captain to make the call. MAX Who makes the call when the Captain's out of commission? SPENCER Me. Just never had to do anything like this before. MAX In my job, if you have the ability to help, you have the responsibility to help. Even if it's a Hail Mary. SPENCER Let's get that raft. MAX CAPTAIN MASSEY CAPTAIN MASSEY You wanna tell me why the hell I'm not seeing Huatulco, Mexico out the portside? CAPTAIN MASSEY Well, I'll tell you how I know. It's 'cause I'm looking out the portside and all I see is ocean. I want a full briefing, an engine report, and a double espresso waiting. CAPTAIN MASSEY Report. SPENCER Captain. We picked up a distress beacon speaking indistinctly> sonar and altered course. They're now ten nautical miles ahead. We're doing 18 knots. CAPTAIN MASSEY Increase the speed to 25 knots. I wanna cut the intercept time by seven minutes. SPENCER Yes, sir. Rescue boats are ready to launch. We've radioed any other vessels in the vicinity and shore. CAPTAIN MASSEY Launch at five miles out. They can get there quicker, and then we slow. SPENCER Doctor, I want you out there with me on the first rescue boat. MAX Captain, I can't have you out there with us. I need you to stick with the ship. CAPTAIN MASSEY MAX Doctor's orders. CAPTAIN MASSEY Understood. MAX Tristan and I will go with the rescue team. Avery, prep for dialysis in case there's kidney damage. Also, ready a hypotonic drip. AVERY On it. ANALISA PRINCIPAL PHOTOGRAPHY CLIMB IN ANALISA ANALISA MAX There! Right there. MAX Let's go. ANALISA TRISTAN Okay. My name is Tristan. You're safe. You're gonna be okay, all right? I just need to check your pulse. PRINCIPAL PHOTOGRAPHY HIGHFIELD ANALISA TRISTAN Okay. TRISTAN Oh! Okay, we have to get her back to the ship now. MAX Prognosis? TRISTAN Patient is suffering gastroenteritis, probably from salt water exposure. Severe heatstroke and dehydration. MAX Get an IV in her now. TRISTAN On it. ANALISA MAX Avery, get her hooked up. AVERY Slow infusion. We need to crack this carefully. Okay. ANALISA Thank you. AVERY You're welcome. AVERY IV is ready for administration, with slow drip rate as instructed. TRISTAN Okay. I think we're good. TRISTAN ANALISA TRISTAN She's crashing? MAX Defib. Now. AVERY Two hundred joules. Not sure if that's enough but... TRISTAN MAX Clear. TRISTAN No pulse. MAX Going to 300. TRISTAN MAX Clear. AVERY TRISTAN AVERY I have a pulse. I'll adjust the drip rate and keep an eye on her electrolytes. TRISTAN How did she crash like that? The hypernatremia? MAX It's a combination of factors. The hypernatremia is a risk given her condition. It can strain the heart. But she's also severely dehydrated, which means that her blood volume's critically low. MAX It's a balancing act. Trying to hydrate her while not overwhelming her system. MAX MAX We're becoming some kinda team, huh? ANALISA We left Venezuela when there was nothing there for us anymore. No money, just me taking care of as much as I could for our family. ANALISA I end up in Port Chiapas. I get work in the only work I could. TRISTAN A fishing boat. You worked on a fishing boat? TRISTAN Yeah. ANALISA The fire started in the engine. I make it out on the raft. Manuel, he work on the boat too. We were going to be married. ANALISA Out there, all those days, I think, "Nobody is looking for me. If Manuel is gone, no one is waiting for me to come home." ANALISA I am alone. ANALISA And then, a miracle. MAX You're gonna be okay. WALLA MAX Lurking? TRISTAN Keeping an eye on my patient. MAX I've been thinking about your theory about Kelly. TRISTAN The vasovagal syncope fainting is a response to an emotional trigger. Y-You know those girls who'd pass out when they saw Elvis? That sort of thing. MAX As loathe as I am to liken you to the king of rock and roll, yes, I think you're right. It's the only thing that fits. I'm gonna set her up with an electrophysiologist when we get back to port. TRISTAN Mm-hmm. TRISTAN You wanna call a truce? No more fighting over girls. Regressive. Reductive? MAX Oath. I would love to call a truce, because if we keep playing this out, there's only one end. We become that guy. TRISTAN Oh. I just threw up in my mouth. MAX Nobody wants to be that guy. TRISTAN That guy sucks. MAX Yeah. And that guy doesn't get the girl. TRISTAN That's... MAX Awful. TRISTAN I won't... MAX No, no, no. Tristan... GUEST 5 You know, a lot of people think I juice, but it's all natural, babe. AVERY You know what? I need to go. GUEST 5 What? And not get a piece of this? AVERY What is that? GUEST 5 Oh, uh... Eczema, probably. GUEST 5 I'm serious, though. I don't take anything. Body is a shrine. No ibuprofen, nothing. I mean, Adderall, sure. And diuretics, but that's only when I'm going to Shredsville. AVERY Wait. I need to go. I'm sorry. And you need penicillin, that is not eczema. TRISTAN Avery. Okay, y-you cannot... Please. AVERY I know what's wrong with Kelly. We need to find her. AVERY Kelly, I know you're not telling us the whole truth. When Tristan did your intake, he asked if you had taken any medications. KELLY I'm not taking anything. AVERY What's in that? I saw you shaking it. KELLY It's just... It's a health powder. TRISTAN With thiazide in it? KELLY It's a diuretic. I didn't think that it mattered. AVERY Thiazide. Makes you drop pounds like crazy, I know. It also interrupts electrical signals to your heart which can cause you to pass out. It can also cause your heart to stop. It's really dangerous stuff. KELLY It's was only supposed to be for the week. I spent so much money on this trip, I have to look... I have to look pretty in a bathing suit. KELLY I sound so vapid, I know. AVERY It's okay. But I'm gonna need you to come with us. I'm gonna put you on a drip with potassium and electrolytes until your levels even out. You're gonna be all right, Kelly. WALLA AVERY TRISTAN Hey, Aves. Um, Aves, you're a genius. Back there, I mean, that was crazy, that diagnosis. Serious. AVERY AVERY Too bad it doesn't matter. TRISTAN Of course it matters. How can you say that? AVERY TRISTAN Hey. AVERY When she was talking, Analisa, about being on the raft. I saw it all so clearly. Myself, my life. I've given up everything good. Everything that matters. Relationships. Family, All for this job. AVERY And at the end of the day, I'm alone. Adrift. With nothing to show for it. AVERY I'm never gonna be a doctor, you know? This is all there is for me. Pumping people's stomachs when they eat too much shrimp and flings with loser dudes on singles cruises. TRISTAN Aves-- AVERY That's it. Forever. TRISTAN You're wrong, Aves. AVERY TRISTAN Even if this is all there is, it still matters. TRISTAN 'Cause you matter. AVERY TRISTAN You matter to me. TRISTAN / AVERY MAX GUEST 7 Hi. SAM Hey. GUEST 7 SAM GUEST 8 GUEST 8 Hi. SAM Sup? SAM Guys, a couple things down. SAM Oh. SAM Really, big man? Again? SAM So, one line we re good, and two lines...syphilis? But it could be other things, right? MAX Yeah. Sure. It could be measles, rubella, scabies, Lyme disease, and it's not. SAM Damn it. MAX Winner, winner, chicken dinner. MAX Okay. I m gonna give you an antibiotic. I will also need a list of everybody that you ve been with since you got on the ship. We contact the partners for you, anonymously. Gotta protect that reputation. SAM Uh, yeah. I m gonna need more paper. SAM Go ahead, say it. I m a manwhore. MAX MAX That's not really a diagnosis I'm qualified to make. MAX But, look... We all have our things. Those holes inside of us that we're trying to fill. Some people use booze, I use triathlons and work. You use sex. But eventually, you're gonna find that you are the hole. And then you're gonna have to crawl all the way up outta yourself just to be sane. MAX And to grow up a little bit. So focus on the doughnut, not the hole, as my father used to say. SAM Is the hole, like, uh, a hole in a sexual sense? MAX MAX GUEST 8 Hello? WALLA GUEST 9 Hello? GUEST 10 Hello? MAX No. No hot tubs for a little while. PRINCIPAL PHOTOGRAPHY AMARA GREEN HUDSON KIM MAX Sure. Whenever you're done with the massage. WALLA GUEST 12 You're not gonna believe this. MAX Okay. We'll see you soon. WALLA GUEST 14 Hello? MAX We're here all day. GUEST 15 MAX I'm gonna need that finger. CAPTAIN MASSEY Oh. Right. CAPTAIN MASSEY CAPTAIN MASSEY I think about that woman every day. MAX Yeah. CAPTAIN MASSEY We were invincible. We'd thought. CAPTAIN MASSEY Didn t factor in the cancer, heart attacks. CAPTAIN MASSEY Okay. What you got? Lay it on me. Both barrels. MAX Well, when you first collapsed, you had all the symptoms of a heart attack except one. No coronary blockage which means no heart attack. That's the good news. But it still begs the question, what did happen? And I think I found the answer. MAX Stress cardiomyopathy. Better known as broken heart syndrome. CAPTAIN MASSEY Come on. MAX CAPTAIN MASSEY What... What kind of medical journal did you get that out of? A Danielle Steele novel? MAX MAX I know it sounds made up. But unfortunately, the condition is quite real and quite serious. It mimics heart attack, and it's triggered by emotional stress. Sometimes... actually often brought on by the loss of a loved one. CAPTAIN MASSEY She was the love of my life. CAPTAIN MASSEY I miss her so much it hurts. MAX I can tell. CAPTAIN MASSEY So, tell me, Doc, how do we treat this broken heart? MAX Existential answer? I have no idea. Medical answer? I m gonna put you on ACE inhibitors to bring down your blood pressure. And I'm gonna order you to take it very, very easy. CAPTAIN MASSEY Okay. So you're saying that in order to keep living, I gotta stop living my life. MAX You know what the worst thing for our health is? Being alive. CAPTAIN MASSEY MAX Life comes with risk, there's no way around it. Look, we just gotta keep on moving forward. CAPTAIN MASSEY Thank you, Doctor. That's exactly what I'm gonna do... Full steam ahead. MAX Maybe three-quarter-steam ahead, for a little while. CAPTAIN MASSEY Mm-mmm. MAX WALLA AVERY Hi. Just, uh, checking in. You doing okay? ANALISA A... And you? Are you okay? AVERY Yes. ANALISA Do you want to come sit? AVERY Sure. AVERY Sorry. ANALISA It's okay. AVERY AVERY You must have been so scared. AVERY Can only imagine what it was like to be out there all alone. AVERY Doubting every choice you made. AVERY You must miss him so much. Manuel. I m sorry. ANALISA Yes. I do. But, at least I had him. True love. I found that. AVERY Which is more than most people can say, especially on this ship during Singles Week. ANALISA HEATHER I remember how young I was when this song came out. WALLA CAPTAIN MASSEY HEATHER CAPTAIN MASSEY Yeah. I was in the Navy. I was looking to make Admiral. I remember being far out at sea and I'd hear these love songs come across the radio and I would feel like my life before me was just a big adventure. HEATHER And now? CAPTAIN MASSEY Less adventures and a couple more naps. HEATHER I love naps. CAPTAIN MASSEY Yeah? HEATHER Mm-mmm. CAPTAIN MASSEY CAPTAIN MASSEY Why don't we get out of this cheap gin joint, and go get a room? My room. HEATHER I thought you would never ask, admiral. CAPTAIN MASSEY CAPTAIN MASSEY You know, I can t promise you much more than a little fun. A good roll in the hay. HEATHER Because you re married to the sea? CAPTAIN MASSEY Yeah. Something like that. SPENCER Captain. SPENCER Ma'am. SPENCER A man in a life-ring was just found floating off Puerto Escondido. It s our rescuer s fianc . He s alive. CAPTAIN MASSEY Well, I ll be damned. Someone s adventure is gonna have a happy ending. HEATHER Mmm. CAPTAIN MASSEY Let's make it ten. BILLY What will it be, boys? TRISTAN A Ranch water. You know it? BILLY Uh, tequila, lime juice, and Topo Chico, sure. BILLY And for you, Doctor? MAX I will have a very dry martini. Vigorously shaken, with three olives. BILLY Right away. TRISTAN Vigorously shaken? You're so weird sometimes. You know that? MAX I was going for Bond. TRISTAN No. MAX I'll work on it. TRISTAN Did you talk to Avery? She's had such a hard week. I feel bad for her. I don't know what to do. MAX Us not fighting over her might be one thing. TRISTAN Yeah, that might help. TRISTAN No one likes a cad. MAX Ooh. Cad. Now that is Bond. TRISTAN MAX Thank you. TRISTAN Thank you. MAX I do have one other idea. AVERY Booty pads, compression socks. Female urinal wipes. Absorbent pads, blue. Disposable under pads. Long maxi pads. Minimal coverage face masks, no neck. Minimal coverage face masks, full neck. MAX Um, is there something I should know? TRISTAN You really don t read the schedules, do you? It s plastic surgery week MAX What? People come for a post-op cruise? A little R and R while they recover from their face-lifts and their tummy tucks and their butt lifts? AVERY That's the idea. TRISTAN Yeah. MAX Well, I think that's fabulous AVERY By the way, good news for Syphilis Sam. We've seen a positive response to the penicillin. RPR titers have decreased significantly, so he's going to be fine. Fine to go on doing what he does, spreading joy. TRISTAN But hopefully not the clap. MAX Mmm. So, Avery, I've been reading up about this little cruise line of ours, and they have all of these higher education full ride scholarships. AVERY Mm-hmm. And? MAX And I spoke to the Captain. And if you wanted, if you decided that you would like to be an M.D. he will support you for a full scholarship. TRISTAN And if you are selected, the company just asks that you give them three years after your residency. As the ship's doctor. AVERY How did I not know this? MAX Always look for the secret door. Every place has one. AVERY What? Oh, my God. MAX TRISTAN TRISTAN Hey. You know what? Some more good news. AVERY Mmm. TRISTAN Analisa s fianc ? They found him. MAX Yeah. AVERY No? No way. Really? MAX Yeah. MAX He's gonna be there when we dock. Maybe you should go tell her. AVERY Oh. TRISTAN Wow. MAX / TRISTAN WALLA MAX TRISTAN Are you crying, dude? MAX Yes. Behind these movie star glasses, I am crying. AVERY I love Single's week. MAX I thought you hated it. AVERY Mmm. What s to hate about a couple of fairy tale endings? Her s. And mine. TRISTAN Now I m blubbering. MAX TRISTAN MAX See you next year. SAM I was thinking maybe next time I would try a monastery. MAX TRISTAN No. Leave those nuns alone. AVERY Blood test again in six weeks, don t forget. GUESTS SAM Oh. Wow. Wait up, ladies. KELLY Thank you. Thank you all for being so brilliant and saving my life. KELLY So don t put me in your file under dumb, next. I m usually pretty smart. TRISTAN I know. I loved our time together. KELLY / TRISTAN TRISTAN Yeah. Still got it. MAX And they're gone. Okay. Can we please go somewhere on land, with beer and oysters and no emergencies. AVERY I know just the spot.