AARON_WESTON ANNOUNCER BRIAN CORDELIA_TORRES DONA ERMENDA GONZALO HANK HELEN JAVIERA_TORRES JOEL_FLANAGAN KEVIN_LANDER KEVIN_LANDERS LAUREN MACHINE MAN MECHANIC SOPHIA_TORRES SATCEY_FLANAGAN STACEY_WESTON WAITRESS WOMAN

JOEL FLANAGAN
Good morning, babe.
LAUREN
Wow.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Yeah, gonna ramp things up. Iron Man is in three months.
LAUREN
You look like an eight-year-old boy, going from hobby to hobby. I wish you'd focus your attention on something else. Like your career. Joel, gross! Where is the coffee? Where is my coffee maker? Ew!
JOEL FLANAGAN
That's not good for you. And you're way too [inaudible] when you're on it.
LAUREN
What? That's when I don't have my coffee!
JOEL FLANAGAN
Besides, it clashes with the kitchen. It's an esthetics thing.
SOPHIA TORRES
Breakfast! I'm starving!
JAVIERA TORRES
Did you study your spelling? Albuquerque.
SOPHIA TORRES
A-L-B-U... cookie? Come on, mom! You're not getting any younger! That's what abuelita says.
JAVIERA TORRES
Yeah, well, abuelita is crazy. There you go! Ok, now try it. See, my daughter might not know how to spell, but she sure has good taste. Remember how you used to not like sweet potatoes? And kale? And beets?
SOPHIA TORRES
Come on, mommy!
JAVIERA TORRES
Hold on! You like it, right? You do like it.
SOPHIA TORRES
I love it.
JAVIERA TORRES
See? La comida es amor, chiquita.
LAUREN
What are you getting from all this juicing and training?
JOEL FLANAGAN
I don't know. Purpose? Food is fuel.
LAUREN
So is caffeine.
[MUSIC]
[HORN]
[TIRES SCREECHING & CRASH]
ANNOUNCER
We've got big things cooking here at Tortilla Hut. And whoever said size doesn't matter, obviously never tried our beefy, beany burrito. Tortilla Hut, where everything is bigger and better.
GONZALO
Babe, did you see that? Sorry, boss. It's just that little guy cracks me up.
DONA
I hate to say it, but my kids eat there too. I mean, where else can you get five tacos for $0.99?
JAVIERA TORRES
Nowhere. And that should be the point. You want quality, you need to pay for it.
[BELL]
JAVIERA TORRES
Ándale, a trabajar. Better. Where are we with the crema de chile poblano?
DONA
We can't make crema de chile poblano with no chiles.
JAVIERA TORRES
Chin, ¡se me olvido!
GONZALO
Are you sure you don't need an extra hand in your chile field? Don't worry, your secret's safe with me.
JAVIERA TORRES
If anyone asks, I went to town for supplies, ok? Turn it off, Gonzalo.
GONZALO
Ok.
JAVIERA TORRES
Turn it off, I can hear it!
AARON WESTON
Well, personally, I think we should make TH more hip, appeal to the Millennials. Yeah, no, I call it TH. Do you like that?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Having phone sex with my dad again?
AARON WESTON
You know, Mr. Flanagan, your son actually just walked in. Yeah, no, here he is.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Hey, dad. Yeah! Aha, aha. You know... yes, speaking of what I should be doing with my life, I really should get back to work, because there's a new product meeting. They just pushed to 10 a.m. Yeah, Aaron just told me. Yeah, I can't wait to go. Yeah, no, it's gonna be the best part of my day. Ok, love you, bye. Thanks, Aaron.
BRIAN
Hey, buddy. He'll be late for the product meeting. Oh...
AARON WESTON
Yeah. You know I only took this assistant gig because I thought he'd hardly be here and I'd have a shot at a promotion.
BRIAN
I heard the family is putting pressure on him, but I'm sure he's gonna continue to do that bare minimum that he does, so...
AARON WESTON
Yeah, but what if he starts to actually... you know, work?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Give me your jacket, come on.
MAN
Seriously?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Do it, come on.
MAN
You're kidding me!
JOEL FLANAGAN
I'll bring it back.
MAN
What was that?
BRIAN
I wouldn't worry about that.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Good morning, everyone. Oh! Look at who showed up.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Don't get too excited, sis. I just didn't want to talk to our father.
STACEY FLANAGAN
So, I'm sure everyone has seen the headlines.
JOEL FLANAGAN
We have? Oh, dad's not gonna like that!
STACEY FLANAGAN
No. We have to face the facts. Tastes are evolving. Our customers want artisanal food and authentic experience. Sophistication has come to Small Town, America. And we need to evolve right alongside. So, that only means one thing for Tortilla Hut: menu diversity. We have been coasting for far too long, we need to get out there in the field, and see what's cooking. So Brian, I need you to take the East Coast.
BRIAN
Yep.
STACEY FLANAGAN
And Megan, there's some great stuff happening in Chicago and in the Northwest. And Joel, I spoke to father about this, and he wants you to handle the Southwest.
JOEL FLANAGAN
No problemo.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Which means you will be travelling to the Southwest and handling all research and development. I want you slumming it. In every hole in the wall, every hidden gem, sampling as much of the regional food as it takes, until we find our next big product.
JOEL FLANAGAN
What? No way! That's like... work. That's like, real work. Send her!
STACEY FLANAGAN
Gina is on maternity leave starting next week, so...
JOEL FLANAGAN
I'm training for a triathlon, that's like having a baby, except it's actually good for you.
BRIAN
"Stacey, why don't you let me take over the territory? I mean, it's a very viable region, and, ""también, yo hablo mucho de español."""
JOEL FLANAGAN
Yeah, let him do it. Let this guy...
BRIAN
Brian.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Whatever.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Joel, I want you to handle this. And I think that grandpop would have wanted you to get back to your roots.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Roots? What roots? I'm from Laguna Niguel. I'm eating clean right now. I can't eat junk.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Well, that's good, because I want you to focus on New Mexican cuisine.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I can't each cheese! I can't eat fats, I can't even eat good fats. I don't remember the last time I had an avocado. And Let's face it: I hate Mexican food. And that's not my fault, because I have a Jewish stomach.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Which is odd, because we're Irish.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Never said it made sense.
STACEY FLANAGAN
All right, any questions?
JAVIERA TORRES
Why aren't you in school?
SOPHIA TORRES
We had a half day, remember?
JAVIERA TORRES
Right.
SOPHIA TORRES
You know, I could help if you would let me.
JAVIERA TORRES
You can't help roast the chiles, chiquita.
SOPHIA TORRES
What's the big deal? They're just chiles!
JAVIERA TORRES
Just chiles?
SOPHIA TORRES
Yeah.
JAVIERA TORRES
Maybe it's time you learn about your legacy. Ok. Your legacy. A legacy is something special that's in your family. It's a part of you, and not everyone has it.
SOPHIA TORRES
So it's only special to us?
JAVIERA TORRES
Oh, yeah. This is our family secret. Ok? You can't tell anyone.
SOPHIA TORRES
I pinky swear.
JAVIERA TORRES
Pinky swear? I'm trusting you. All right. So, it goes like this. A long, long time ago, your great-great-great-grandfather made a bet. With a very wise man. His name was Fabian Garcia. And he would become known as the inventor of the New Mexico green chile.
SOPHIA TORRES
Cool.
JAVIERA TORRES
But at the time, Mr. Garcia was just a penniless farmer. He had no money to give.
SOPHIA TORRES
That's not right.
JAVIERA TORRES
But he had something better, chiquita. He had seeds. These chile seeds have been passed on through the generations. And one day, they will pass on to you.
SOPHIA TORRES
Is this why your cooking is so good?
JAVIERA TORRES
Hey!
JOEL FLANAGAN
You totally ambushed me back there!
STACEY FLANAGAN
All right, all right. Just sit down. It's time to get serious, Joel.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Look at me. I am serious. About not going to Arizona or New Mexico? Wherever you told me to go. What do I look like? I'm not a Southwestern guy. And I'm busy! I've got work. My law practice?
STACEY FLANAGAN
Occasional client who is one of daddy's golfing buddies does not a lawyer make.
JOEL FLANAGAN
It's only one of them.
STACEY FLANAGAN
What do you wanna do with your life? The lease on all your toys and lifestyle is going to run out if you don't make a smart choice. And you know of the terms of the estate. Why don't you just commit to a year of Tortilla Hut? What is stopping you? You said that grandpa was your hero. Well, he went to work, came back, and started a $500 million enterprise. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Let's be honest, sis. It's just junk food.
STACEY FLANAGAN
It's the family business. And in my book, that's not junk.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Oh, good! You already packed. So, you got my text after all, I mean... What's going on?
LAUREN
I'm enjoying my coffee.
JOEL FLANAGAN
You know, that's really not good for you.
LAUREN
Oh, I know, Joel. And I'm done.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Done? What do you mean done? You're coming with me to New Mexico!
LAUREN
You're gonna have to do this one on your own. You know, not everything revolves around you, Joel. You know, for the last two years, we've done everything. Everything that you've wanted. We've gone on dates with your friends, and you've told me what to wear, and what to drink...
JOEL FLANAGAN
Because you asked! 
LAUREN
And now you're obsessed with trying to be Iron Man.
JOEL FLANAGAN
No, I'm trying to do Iron Man!
LAUREN
Have you ever, ever, thought about what I wanted?
JOEL FLANAGAN
What do you want, Lauren?
LAUREN
I want... someone who can make me laugh.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I never said I was a freaking comedian.
LAUREN
You know what I mean.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I'm funny.
[MUSIC]
CORDELIA TORRES
Ay, I'm not getting any younger!
CORDELIA TORRES
I'll be right with you, ok? Is it good? Yes? There we go!
KEVIN LANDERS
Cordelia! Always a sight for sore eyes. Hey, doesn't the new sign look great?
CORDELIA TORRES
Preciosa.
KEVIN LANDERS
Hey, did Javiera tell you the new tour just sold out?
CORDELIA TORRES
Really?
KEVIN LANDERS
Yeah!
CORDELIA TORRES
Well, that's very good.
KEVIN LANDERS
Your daughter is becoming quite the little rockstar. Just like her old lady. Where is my little pinto bean?
CORDELIA TORRES
Oh, Lord. Let him get run over by a truck. Ok, maybe not. Maybe a tractor. He could survive the truck, right? Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!
JOEL FLANAGAN
Babe, it's me. It went straight to voicemail. In that way where you have the choice whether to take the call or not. Anyway, I was thinking about what you were saying about how you think everything revolves around me. But remember when we went down to San Diego for that frisbee golf competition and you left early because your mom got sick and went to the hospital and I won that night? And I never made it a big deal. I was really disappointed, but I didn't bring it up. And we both know people can live without their appendix! Actually, that's probably not a good example. Listen, I want...
MACHINE
The mailbox is full and cannot accept any messages at this time. Good bye!
KEVIN LANDERS
Javi, nobody makes chile sauce like you have. No one! You know what? This is just the beginning. I mean, with the success of the cafe, we can look towards a real restaurant in Santa Fe.
JAVIERA TORRES
I've been there, done that.
KEVIN LANDERS
Yeah, but that was Albuquerque. You know? I'm talking about something big here, right? We're building a brand! I see a cooking show and a whole line of products starting with your signature dish.
JAVIERA TORRES
I'm still getting used to the new sign. Don't you think it's a bit much?
KEVIN LANDERS
Come on, you gotta shake things up a little bit, baby!
JAVIERA TORRES
No, I like things the way they are.
KEVIN LANDERS
Static?
JAVIERA TORRES
Timeless.
[MUSIC]
[BELL]
[BELL]
JOEL FLANAGAN
Passing through, I'm wondering if there's a good place to grab a bite to eat.
MECHANIC
Sure, there's a Tortilla Hut just down the road. But if you're looking for a real gem, go down the road about five miles and make a right at the first four-way stop. You can't miss it.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Thank you so much.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Oh, Joel. That's like discovering the hamburger. Green chile is practically the state dish.
JOEL FLANAGAN
What are you talking about, Stacey? It's freaking fantastic! It's got green chile, pinto beans, and chicken! It's not even bad for you. Beans give you fiber, chicken is protein, and green chile is a vegetable. Done!
STACEY FLANAGAN
And how would we package it? You're not thinking.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Do you really think our consumer base is concerned with your authenticity obsession?
HELEN
Hey, don't fill up on junk food!
JOEL FLANAGAN
The only people who order tacos from a drive-through window are stoners and big, fat... I mean, somewhat slightly obese people, who I'm sure are lovely people on the inside. This is a lot harder than it looks, ok? It's not exactly written on a sign where to find the best food in New Mexico. Let me call you right back.
[MUSIC]
KEVIN LANDERS
See, we've got a whole variety of different types of peppers. They come in all different shapes, sizes, colors. But this one, right here, the New Mexico green chile, that's what we're roasting right here. Isn't that smell amazing? You're gonna see everything that you could possibly imagine from the chile family in New Mexico. But it's really the green chile that is the star. This is what has become the local favorite. Save your appetite for Javiera's, cooking up her signature dish! All right, here we go. We've got a real treat here, huh?
KEVIN LANDERS
I told you it was worth the wait, right? Enjoy! Hey, why don't you guys try taking small bites, really savour this food.
HANK
I'm tasting pork and something else.
HELEN
Apples. Oh my God, apples!
HANK
Perfect harmony of the sweet and the savory.
HELEN
Just like life.
HANK
And who knew garlic soup actually tastes awesome? You got avocado? Perfect match.
CORDELIA TORRES
Sí, sí, los gringos, los gringos llegaron. I've never seen such fancy watches and purses.
ERMENDA
Let's hope they spend some money in town. I'm coming over.
CORDELIA TORRES
Ok. Hello, young man!
JOEL FLANAGAN
Hi!
CORDELIA TORRES
Hi. Why aren't you with the group? You look triste. Sad.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I do?
CORDELIA TORRES
Yes. Muy triste. Oh, why? Why are you so triste? I can feel your energy.
JOEL FLANAGAN
My girlfriend just broke up with me. We were pretty serious.
ERMENDA
Oh, that's terrible!
CORDELIA TORRES
Terrible. Such a good looking young man, huh?
ERMENDA
Sí.
CORDELIA TORRES
Yes. And look, great physique. Yes. And nice clothes. You know what, nice clothes means nice job. Yes. Pero triste. Why? Why did she leave you?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Well, she... claimed I didn't make her laugh.
CORDELIA TORRES
No?
JOEL FLANAGAN
It's crazy, right? I mean, to leave someone, for this ridiculous reason that's untrue?
CORDELIA TORRES
Come. Let's have some lunch. Forget your troubles with some good food.
JOEL FLANAGAN
That's great.
CORDELIA TORRES
Come on!
JOEL FLANAGAN
Ok.
CORDELIA TORRES
Órale, órale. See you later.
GONZALO
I'm sorry, are you with the tour?
CORDELIA TORRES
Gonzalo, Gonzalo, have pity on him. His fiancee... lo abandonó.
GONZALO
Sorry, bro. What do you want me to do? The orders are even, and you know Javiera.
HANK
What's the matter?
HELEN
I just lost my appetite.
CORDELIA TORRES
What's wrong? Is there anything wrong?
HANK
Hey, pal! This is a private party. If he stays, we go.
JAVIERA TORRES
What am I hearing?
CORDELIA TORRES
What's going on here? They don't seem to like you very much.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I don't...
JAVIERA TORRES
Mamá. What's going on? No one is eating. I never make the wrong amount.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Yeah, well, these things happen every day.
JAVIERA TORRES
For some, but not for me.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Listen, lady. I'm just a guy who needs a meal. Maybe we could work something out?
JAVIERA TORRES
You are a really funny guy, you know that?
KEVIN LANDERS
Everyone satisfied?
HANK
This bozo followed us in here, and now he's trying to eat all of this amazing food for free.
KEVIN LANDERS
Sorry, sport. Who are you?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Don't worry about it, Mr. Mustache.
JAVIERA TORRES
What do you mean? He's not with the tour?
KEVIN LANDERS
And stay out!
GONZALO
Sorry about your lady friend, bro. Eat your feelings.
JOEL FLANAGAN
So, I just tried something pretty terrific.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Acting like a human being?
JOEL FLANAGAN
[LAUGHING] No! An empanada.
STACEY FLANAGAN
I thought you couldn't get on that tour.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I have my ways. Listen, here's the thing. There's this woman, Javiera Torres. And I think she may be the real deal. Sounds like people come from all around to try this signature dish of hers.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Haha. I smell marketing campaign. Tell me she's 80 years old, full of wrinkles and character.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Sort of.
STACEY FLANAGAN
No, coffee. Is it coffee? Do you think we can market her dish?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Listen, don't kill me, but I haven't exactly tried it yet.
JAVIERA TORRES
Hey. How did you let that jerk get in?
KEVIN LANDERS
Look at the lengths people are going to eat your food. It's starting, baby!
HELEN
Oh, Javiera, would you stay a minute? Your dish is delicious. I could eat it all the time.
HANK
You make a terrific frozen dinner.
HELEN
Could you share with us some of your culinary secrets?
JAVIERA TORRES
Oh. How do you make love?
HELEN
What?
HANK
From behind.
JAVIERA TORRES
It's sort of asking how I cook. It's personal.
STACEY FLANAGAN
There are food blogs dedicated to this woman. Joel, you have to go back!
JOEL FLANAGAN
No, I'm done. I've done my civic duty.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Ok, listen. I have a really big board meeting coming up in the next few weeks, and I need something positive to report. I really need your help here, Joel. And remember what we talked about regarding your inheritance.
[POLICE SIRENS]
STACEY FLANAGAN
Joel? Joel?
[PHONE RINGS]
AARON WESTON
Hello? Oh hey, buddy! How's New Mexico?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Oh, hey Aaron. Question for you. Why did a highway patrolman just inform me that my license has been suspended, and as a result, my car is being towed away?
AARON WESTON
Wow! That is... that's terrible. You know, I was sure... you know, that I sent in that renewal paperwork. There is no doubt about it.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Now I have to wait to get in front of the DA to talk about a temporary permit. This is all on you, pal. It's because of you, I insulted a cop, and the tow truck driver, although he deserved it. And now I can't even get a ride into town!
[MUSIC]
JOEL FLANAGAN
Seriously? Gone fishin'? With an apostrophe? Not fishing, I-N-G... Outstanding.
KEVIN LANDERS
Listen, would you take a look at these for me?
JAVIERA TORRES
Contracts? How romantic!
KEVIN LANDERS
I know, baby. But it's good to have things in writing.
SOPHIA TORRES
You're gonna miss your tour bus.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Do I look like a tourist to you?
SOPHIA TORRES
You sure don't look like you belong here.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Amen, sister.
JAVIERA TORRES
Hey!
JOEL FLANAGAN
Amen.
JAVIERA TORRES
Sophia, haven't I told you not to talk to strangers?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Hey, I'm really not that strange.
SOPHIA TORRES
He's funny.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Thanks, Junior!
KEVIN LANDERS
Is this man bothering you, Sophie?
SOPHIA TORRES
My name is Sophia. And no, he's funny.
KEVIN LANDERS
It's not enough for you to ruin my tour, now you have to come and harass the locals too?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Hey, I was invited.
KEVIN LANDER
By who? Well, that doesn't count. It's my tour and I want you out of Villanueva.
JOEL FLANAGAN
You always have your man speak for you?
JAVIERA TORRES
This isn't just about Kevin's tour, but my cafe. My cooking is my life, and I won't let anyone make a mockery of it.
KEVIN LANDERS
Hey, don't look at me!
JOEL FLANAGAN
Displaced anger, huh pal?
KEVIN LANDERS
Something like that.
MAN
Gracias, Diego.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I'll have what he had, minus the flavor. You know sugar causes cancer, right? Ok.
SOPHIA TORRES
I knew it! I missed everything. Does your face hurt much? Do you think you got permanent brain damage? Like, one day, when you're 80, you'll wake up and not even know who you are?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Honestly, kid, I genuinely wish that day were today. Listen, do you know any hotels around here? Maybe like a Four Seasons or something?
SOPHIA TORRES
Oh, Ermenda rents rooms out. She owns a gift shop right across the street, with like, the chiles.
JAVIERA TORRES
Sophia, ¡vámonos!
JOEL FLANAGAN
Listen. I'm really not such a bad guy here.
JAVIERA TORRES
Listen, whoever you are, I don't know where you come from, but around here, everybody looks out for each other. So, if I were you, I'd watch it.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Mrs. Javiera? I couldn't help but notice that you were handling some legal documents from your friend.
JAVIERA TORRES
You're a lawyer?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Yeah, I'm a lawyer.
JAVIERA TORRES
Figures.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I would get a professional look at those if I were you. You wouldn't wanna do anything that you would regret.
JAVIERA TORRES
Like turning around and talking to you?
SOPHIA TORRES
Good one, momma!
JOEL FLANAGAN
What a cute town. It's great.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Hey, I've been trying you for hours.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Don't start with me, sis. It's been the worst week.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Yeah, I heard about Lauren. Are you ok?
JOEL FLANAGAN
I haven't had time to process it. And I'm sure Aaron told you, my good friend, that my car has been impounded, and I have to wait to get in front of the DA, but he apparently has gone fishing! I can hear you grim, sis.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Being stuck in a town with one of the best regional chefs in New Mexico? Now, why would I want that?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Just like old times. My sister mocking me.
STACEY FLANAGAN
I'm staring at a photo of the marketing campaign we did. You were such a bad actor! That's because you made me eat the product!
JOEL FLANAGAN
Hi! Hold on, just a second.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Yeah, but we had fun, didn't we?
JOEL FLANAGAN
No, as I recall, you loved it, because you were always daddy's little company girl. Oh, come on!
JOEL FLANAGAN
It's charming. Didn't realize I was renting a room from the Vatican. You sure I can't pay you online?
ERMENDA
I still use Windows 97.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Are there any restaurants open? I'm starving.
ERMENDA
We only have one restaurant, Javiera's. And she's only open for lunch. Looks like you really burned that bridge, huh? You have to integrate yourself, muchacho.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Maybe I'll go buy some turquoise paint. Gonna get my suitcase.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Hey! Watch it, jerk! Sorry, I didn't know it was you.
JAVIERA TORRES
You make it a habit of calling people jerks?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Well, you almost ran me over. Listen, let's start over, huh? Shall we? I'm in a bit of a bind. See, I am stuck here until the DA comes back from his fishing trip.
JAVIERA TORRES
Yes, so I heard.
JOEL FLANAGAN
And I may starve to death. How about a quid pro quo? I will look over your boyfriend's contracts, the guy with the mustache...
JAVIERA TORRES
Are you...?
JOEL FLANAGAN
And in exchange, you give me a great meal. How about that? Hey! A district attorney's fee is 200 dollars an hour, at least! I think that's a pretty good deal. Think about it!
[PHONE BUZZING]
JAVIERA TORRES
Hello?
KEVIN LANDERS
Hey! I just wanted to check in on you. I didn't get a chance to explain those contracts before I left.
JAVIERA TORRES
I'm fine. How's your eye?
KEVIN LANDERS
It's still there. Listen, if that asshole comes back...
JAVIERA TORRES
I should go. Sophia needs help with her homework.
KEVIN LANDERS
Ok. Night, baby.
JAVIERA TORRES
Good night.
CORDELIA TORRES
Hey! Flying to your man?
JAVIERA TORRES
He's not my man. All right, he's sort of like my man. You know, Kevin... Kevin is a good guy. He is fun, he's cute. And we sort of have the same goals.
CORDELIA TORRES
Sort of is not good enough for my daughter.
JAVIERA TORRES
Mama, I am a single mother living in Villanueva. Population: 846.
CORDELIA TORRES
848! Tina had babies, twins.
JAVIERA TORRES
I stand corrected. 848. My point is, sort of has become my... fantastic. I'm ok with that. More importantly, I trust Kevin. Sort of.
CORDELIA TORRES
Sort of. Who are you cooking for?
JAVIERA TORRES
Oh, please. That man is an ass.
CORDELIA TORRES
Yes, I saw his ass. And let me tell you something about it: I approve.
JAVIERA TORRES
Mama!
CORDELIA TORRES
Take it, take it! Yeah!
JAVIERA TORRES
¡Mamá!
SOPHIA TORRES
What did I miss? What did I miss?
JAVIERA TORRES
Nothing.
CORDELIA TORRES
Nothing.
JAVIERA TORRES
Here. Why don't you bring this to your new best friend? Ay! Sophia!
JOEL FLANAGAN
Wow, that's pretty good. It probably has a lot of sugar in it though, right?
JAVIERA TORRES
It's actually all natural. Mango, pear, ginger, with a bit of carrot to give it that unique zip. You want me to take it back?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Oh, no, no, thank you. It's... It's pretty perfect, actually. You can't get that back home. I'll tell you that.
JAVIERA TORRES
Where is that, Iceland?
JOEL FLANAGAN
No, actually. I'm from Irvine, California.
JAVIERA TORRES
Well, you probably can't get this there, either.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Dinner or breakfast?
JAVIERA TORRES
See?
JOEL FLANAGAN
You know, I was... really hoping for the house special.
JAVIERA TORRES
I only make that once a week, that's only for family and friends.
[MUSIC]
JOEL FLANAGAN
It's really good.
JAVIERA TORRES
Excuse me.
SOPHIA TORRES
You like it?
JOEL FLANAGAN
It's perfect. You wanna know a secret? I don't like Mexican food. Normally. But this is good. Are you sure it's Mexican food?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Hey. So, it's a fairly basic partnership agreement. You've agreed to partner on a product line and a potential new restaurant venture.
JAVIERA TORRES
Yes, but why the fairly?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Well, I'm assuming you agreed to this, but the percentage of ownership... it's a 60-40 split. In your boyfriend's favor. I just wanted to make sure, because it seems a bit askew. It seems pretty obvious that you're the real asset here. Also, we should go over division and net profits, and equity compensation.
JAVIERA TORRES
It's fine.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Also, there's something you should know. Recipes aren't protected under copyright law. Anyone can copy a chef's recipe. And I just wanted you to be aware of that.
JAVIERA TORRES
What are you suggesting? That Kevin would steal my dish?
JOEL FLANAGAN
No. No, no, no. From the little that I know Kevin, he seems like a real stand-up guy. And I might add, quite a catch.
JAVIERA TORRES
Is that your professional opinion?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Yes.
JAVIERA TORRES
Because your counsel is no longer needed.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Thanks for... dinner.
SOPHIA TORRES
He seems sad.
JAVIERA TORRES
You don't know him, chiquita. We don't know him.
SOPHIA TORRES
How are you supposed to know somebody if you don't give them a chance?
[MUSIC]
JOEL FLANAGAN
Don't you ever go to school?
SOPHIA TORRES
It's feast day!
JOEL FLANAGAN
Of course it is. What's that?
SOPHIA TORRES
Feast day of Saint Isidre. Patron saint of followers. We all pray for a good harvest.
JOEL FLANAGAN
And then what do you do?
SOPHIA TORRES
We eat!
JOEL FLANAGAN
Of course you do.
SOPHIA TORRES
Why do you run so much?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Because it's good for you. Besides, I'm training for Iron Man.
SOPHIA TORRES
You know Iron Man?
JOEL FLANAGAN
You're a pretty little kid, huh?
SOPHIA TORRES
Well, I'm a kid, and maybe you're just not used to that.
JOEL FLANAGAN
True. I'm not used to it at all.
SOPHIA TORRES
Can I ask you a question?
JOEL FLANAGAN
That was a question. But yes, you can.
SOPHIA TORRES
Why do you hit Kevin?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Self-defense.
SOPHIA TORRES
Why did Kevin hit you?
JOEL FLANAGAN
You'd have to ask him that.
SOPHIA TORRES
What's the worst thing you've ever done?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Cheat on my LSATS. How about you?
SOPHIA TORRES
Call my dad and hang up on him. I just wanted to hear his voice. He lives in Albuquerque with his new wife and their brand new baby. He's my brother, but when I look at him, I just see a big blob. What's the nicest thing you've ever done?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Yet to be determined.
SOPHIA TORRES
Does that mean you've never, ever done anything nice?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Means... maybe it means I haven't done anything worth mentioning yet. Call it bum luck.
SOPHIA TORRES
I call that pathetic.
JOEL FLANAGAN
[LAUGHING] Jesus.
[MEXICAN MUSIC]
ERMENDA
Look at that gringo eating goat!
JOEL FLANAGAN
You're kidding, right?
CORDELIA TORRES
No, Mr. Handsome. It is goat.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Who knew I liked goat? It's got this amazing smoky, earthy thing going on.
CORDELIA TORRES
That's Javiera and her chiles.
ERMENDA
The Torres family are known for their chiles. They win all the big awards.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Where do they grow these chiles? Oh, sorry. Is that a thing? I didn't know that was a thing.
CORDELIA TORRES
The key difference between a New Mexican and Mexican cuisine is the way you use your chiles. You know? It can make or break a dish.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Including your daughter's?
CORDELIA TORRES
My daughter is a very good cook.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Speaking of which, do I really have to wait a full week for this signature dish of hers? Couldn't I do something to...?
ERMENDA
Look at Mr. Charming. Don't push it. Javiera has been known to skip for weeks if she's not feeling like it.
CORDELIA TORRES
Or if she's pissed off. Yeah.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I bet she never gets pissed off.
[MEXICAN MUSIC]
CORDELIA TORRES
What could I do? Just tell me. He just showed up! Hija, I really don't understand you. I mean, what's your problem? He.... he... he... Es muy guapo.
JAVIERA TORRES
Oh, looks? That's all it takes for you? I think after papá you'd learn your lesson!
CORDELIA TORRES
Yes, I had eight hellish years with your papá. But the sex was fantástico.
JAVIERA TORRES
And that made up for it?
CORDELIA TORRES
Well, let me tell you something. You know what, it did not hurt. Oh, and when it hurt, it hurt so good.
JAVIERA TORRES
¡Qué pervertida eres, mamá! Dale, dale, dale, dale. ¡Ay!
JOEL FLANAGAN
You know, I never thought I was religious, but I like this church.
SOPHIA TORRES
So, where's the middle?
MAN
The universe? It's too big to tell.
JAVIERA TORRES
Just think. Before Galileo came along, people thought the Earth was in the middle.
SOPHIA TORRES
Really?
JAVIERA TORRES
Uh-huh. We all thought that all the stars and the planets revolved around us.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Is it true? Are we out of beer?
JAVIERA TORRES
Galileo proved that we're just a part of it all.
SOPHIA TORRES
Huh, that's...
JOEL FLANAGAN
Sucks. Let's face it, Galileo and his stupid little telescope are total downers.
MAN
Galileo was a hero. He was a man of great integrity and honor. He went to jail for what he believed.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Yeah? Well, I'm stuck in this dusty little town without a proper workout facility. So, stuff happens. Listen, it sucks... that we're not the center of the universe. It really, really sucks. Who's with me?
SOPHIA TORRES
Me! Oh, yeah.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Listen. Listen. Is there a 7/11 around here?
MAN
Tell me this guy is not our new science teacher.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Siete/once?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Anyone?
JAVIERA TORRES
Hey! Didn't anyone warn you about the drinking and the altitude?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Yeah. I got it with the attitude.
JAVIERA TORRES
Altitude.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Hey, can I get a ride?
SOPHIA TORRES
Oh.
JAVIERA TORRES
No.
SOPHIA TORRES
Sure.
JAVIERA TORRES
No. No, not in my car!
JOEL FLANAGAN
That is a sweet little lady right there.
SOPHIA TORRES
Is he drunk?
JAVIERA TORRES
Of course not.
SOPHIA TORRES
Really?
JAVIERA TORRES
Ok, maybe a little. Let this be a lesson for you.
SOPHIA TORRES
Don't drink and study astronomy.
JAVIERA TORRES
Don't drink! It turns you into a fool.
SOPHIA TORRES
But you said he was a fool when he wasn't drunk.
JAVIERA TORRES
Why do I have a daughter that questions me at every turn?
SOPHIA TORRES
Why do you say that?
[JOEL SNORES]
SOPHIA TORRES
So how are you gonna get him home?
JAVIERA TORRES
Well, that's a good question. Hey, wake up! Wake up, you crazy man!
SOPHIA TORRES
He's not waking up.
[CROWING]
You know, just because I have a bag over my head, it doesn't mean I don't know exactly where we are. Two right turns and a stop sign, right?

You forgot a sharp left.

Oh! Ok, thank you, thank you. Listen, we seem to have gone off on a bad start. How about I make it up to you? You ever been in Santa Fe?

Never heard of it.

Ok, lame question. Well, I never have. I was just thinking...

No! I'm not going on a date with you.

Good, because I'm in a relationship.

Oh, really? I heard you were dumped.

Ok, I got dumped. And you have a boyfriend. This would just be me taking you out to a very expensive meal. Come on, my sister just e-mailed me about this place in Santa Fe. It's new. I get my own culinary tour and you... would get to check out the competition firsthand.
"I wrote, ""Stay in the truck!"" Can't you read?"
JOEL FLANAGAN
Don't shout! My head is killing me. Am I dead? Is this heaven?
JAVIERA TORRES
No. But this is clearly my personal hell.
JOEL FLANAGAN
This is your family secret chile field. Isn't it?
JAVIERA TORRES
What do you know about my chile field?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Nothing. Look, you're the one who dragged me here, ok?
JAVIERA TORRES
I tried to get you out of my truck. I can't believe this. Only my family knows about this place.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Don't worry, I'm not gonna tell anyone. Besides, I couldn't. I have no idea where the hell we are.
JAVIERA TORRES
Wait. What are you doing?
JOEL FLANAGAN
No, no, no. My grandfather had a farm and I was a vegetarian for years, it's fine.
JAVIERA TORRES
Uh-uh.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Wow, that's good!
JAVIERA TORRES
No eating the product. You said your... your grandfather was a farmer?
JOEL FLANAGAN
He was an entrepreneur of sorts, but what I remember most about him was how much he loved nature. He always told me not to overcomplicate things, so the best ideas are often the most simples. It's kind of his motto.
JAVIERA TORRES
It's like cooking. Sometimes the most complex dishes can be... the most simple. You can't hide behind your ingredients.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Exactly! I think. Must be nice to have a passion for something.
JAVIERA TORRES
You don't like being a lawyer?
JOEL FLANAGAN
I wouldn't say it's a calling, like your cooking.
JAVIERA TORRES
I wouldn't say my cooking is a calling as much as it's... an instinct.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Instinct?
JAVIERA TORRES
Uh-huh.
JOEL FLANAGAN
It sure is beautiful out here.
JAVIERA TORRES
It's like we're in the center of the universe, huh? Galileo.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Cute.
JAVIERA TORRES
Uh-huh. Real cute.
JOEL FLANAGAN
You know, just because I have a bag over my head, it doesn't mean I don't know exactly where we are. Two right turns and a stop sign, right?
JAVIERA TORRES
You forgot a sharp left.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Oh! Ok, thank you, thank you. Listen, we seem to have gone off on a bad start. How about I make it up to you? You ever been in Santa Fe?
JAVIERA TORRES
Never heard of it.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Ok, lame question. Well, I never have. I was just thinking...
JAVIERA TORRES
No! I'm not going on a date with you.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Good, because I'm in a relationship.
JAVIERA TORRES
Oh, really? I heard you were dumped.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Ok, I got dumped. And you have a boyfriend. This would just be me taking you out to a very expensive meal. Come on, my sister just e-mailed me about this place in Santa Fe. It's new. I get my own culinary tour and you... would get to check out the competition firsthand.
[PHONE NOTIFICATION]
[PHONE NOTIFICATION]
[PHONE NOTIFICATION]
[JOEL SIGHS]
SOPHIA TORRES
What are you getting all dressed up for?
JAVIERA TORRES
Just going to Santa Fe.
SOPHIA TORRES
Isn't Kevin in Tulsa?
CORDELIA TORRES
Sophia, will you please go to the cafe and bring us some eggs for tonight?
SOPHIA TORRES
I know what you're doing.
CORDELIA TORRES
Ándale. Ándale. Ándale, ándale.
JAVIERA TORRES
Te amo, chiquita. Ok.
CORDELIA TORRES
No, this one. Keep this one.
JAVIERA TORRES
I just... I feel like it's so much skin.
CORDELIA TORRES
Are you a nun? Ok.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Hold on, Stacey. Hello? I can't believe you're making me do this.
STACEY FLANAGAN
You are the one who reported how great her chiles were.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I don't think you and your food scientists are gonna be able to reverse engineer this one, sis.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Yeah? Well, you just... let me worry about that, ok? I just need one sample, Joel. Just one.
SOPHIA TORRES
Hello? Hello? Galileo!
JOEL FLANAGAN
Great! You're calling me that now?
SOPHIA TORRES
Everybody calls you that now. So, what are you doing here?
JOEL FLANAGAN
I... Just hungry.
SOPHIA TORRES
Wait. I thought you were going to have dinner with my mom. She got all dressed up for you and everything. That's not fair! I knew you first.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I think you're gonna have a lot of fancy dinners in your future. Hey, listen. Do me a favor? Don't tell your mom I was here. I wouldn't want her to think that I ruined my dinner.
SOPHIA TORRES
Ok. So... Here. For your dumb luck.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I think you mean bum luck?
SOPHIA TORRES
Yeah, that's what I said. I'll see you later?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Ok.
SOPHIA TORRES
Have fun with my mom!
JOEL FLANAGAN
See ya. Bye!
SOPHIA TORRES
Bye!
JAVIERA TORRES
This isn't what you think it is.
ERMENDA
I didn't say anything.
JAVIERA TORRES
Where is he? This was a bad idea.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Sorry. I...
JAVIERA TORRES
Forgot?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Definitely not. I just need a minute.
JAVIERA TORRES
Let's just get this over with, huh?
JOEL FLANAGAN
That's the spirit.
JAVIERA TORRES
Ok, I see we're gonna have to set up some ground rules here. Number one, I'm here for the meal. Everyone knows Kevin in Santa Fe, and I would like to experience dining like... like an anonymous civilian. Which is why I'm here with you and not him. Just to be clear.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Clear.
JAVIERA TORRES
Number two. There will be no post-dinner drinks. And definitely not drinks. What are you looking at?
JOEL FLANAGAN
You're not the only one who doesn't consider this a date. What makes you think you're so damn desirable anyway? Ok, ok, fine. I'm not blind, but I'm a pretty good catch myself. I mean, I'm a lawyer, I'm not ugly, I've got some dollars in the...
MAN
Hey, can you spare some change?
JAVIERA TORRES
Charitable?
JOEL FLANAGAN
A guy can't have everything.
JAVIERA TORRES
Yeah, right.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Just wouldn't be fair.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Did you know oysters are high in zinc?
JAVIERA TORRES
Did you know they also raise your sperm count?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Anyway. So... tell me about you.
JAVIERA TORRES
This is not a date.
JOEL FLANAGAN
This is not a date.
JAVIERA TORRES
All right. Well, believe it or not, I used to own a fancy restaurant. A bit like this one. In Albuquerque with my ex.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Sophia's dad?
JAVIERA TORRES
"Uh-huh. Turns out that saying, ""Too many cooks in the kitchen""? Not such a cliché. At first, it was great, actually. Working side by side. Bradley was very proud of me and... he would brag that I could outcook him. And then the reviews started to single me out, and people started coming in for my dishes. My chile sauce. And he cheated on me. We divorced, he married her. She's the stay-at-home type. Funny. She wasn't staying at home when she was banging my husband."
JOEL FLANAGAN
Bitch.
JAVIERA TORRES
Thank you.
JOEL FLANAGAN
And now, you're with Kevin.
JAVIERA TORRES
Yeah. Uh-huh. Kevin. So, what about you? What's your sad, sad story? What's your ex like?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Well, she's attractive.
JAVIERA TORRES
Shocking. I mean like, what does she do?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Oh! Lauren's in marketing.
JAVIERA TORRES
Ok, marketing what?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Branding and... stuff like that.
JAVIERA TORRES
You have no idea what she does for a living.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Our relationship wasn't about that. She was very supportive.
JAVIERA TORRES
Oh, I bet. Of you. Don't you think it's important for two people to be supportive of one another?
WAITRESS
Would you like to hear about our specials?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Please! And I will be very supportive of your decision.
WAITRESS
First, we have a lovely pollo and pipian rojo.
JAVIERA TORRES
Oh, nice! That's chicken in red sauce with pumpking seeds. I make that from time to time.
WAITRESS
We're also featuring tonight a new dish, called Asado de puerco verde. It's a split-roasted pork chop, stuffed with...
JAVIERA TORRES
Ground pork in pasote and served with chile verde sickle?
WAITRESS
Well, I guess. Have you been here before?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Where are you going?
JAVIERA TORRES
¿Y los dueños? ¿Los dueños no se encuentran aquí?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Don't look at me, this isn't a date.
[JAVIERA SCREAMING]
JOEL FLANAGAN
Sorry.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Javiera? Hey, what's wrong?
JAVIERA TORRES
I need a drink.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Man, I knew that foody couple from the tour sucked.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I feel badly.
JAVIERA TORRES
Why? You didn't steal my dish.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Your cooking is so important to you. It means everything. Where did that come from?
JAVIERA TORRES
You want me to take it back?
JOEL FLANAGAN
No way.
[PEOPLE CHEERING]
JAVIERA TORRES
What's in your pocket? Is that Sophia's?
JOEL FLANAGAN
She lent it to me. She thought I could use the luck.
JAVIERA TORRES
It's working, right?
KEVIN LANDERS
Well, well, well. I can't believe you. And with this guy? Is this about our partnership agreement? Are you trying to sabotage our business?
JAVIERA TORRES
Is that what this is to you? A business agreement?
KEVIN LANDERS
You know we're more than that.
WOMAN
I counted to 10.
KEVIN LANDERS
I said, wait 10 minutes.
JAVIERA TORRES
I thought you were working in Tulsa. Alone.
WOMAN
What's her problem? You think she was your... girl or... you dick.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Well, well, well.
JAVIERA TORRES
Enough. No more hitting.
[MUSIC]
JOEL FLANAGAN
Are you ok? I feel horrible.
JAVIERA TORRES
Oh, no. It's my fault. I got in the way. Ow. Getting punched in the face really hurts.
JOEL FLANAGAN
It's the first time anyone, much less a girl...
JAVIERA TORRES
Woman!
JOEL FLANAGAN
A woman. A woman, took a punch for me. I think that's... I think the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
JAVIERA TORRES
I think that's the nicest thing I've ever done for anyone. You know, I... I'm thinking about something I haven't done with anyone in years.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Yeah? I'm totally up for anything.
JAVIERA TORRES
Really? You wanna cook together? So, let's make this fun, huh? Go pick like, ten random ingredients.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Really? Is that gonna be good? Ok.
[MUSIC]
JAVIERA TORRES
Oh!
JOEL FLANAGAN
What do you think? Look now.
JAVIERA TORRES
You're going easy on me. You are a very smart man. Nice.
JOEL FLANAGAN
[INAUDIBLE] That's good. Oh, so spicy! Control the bowl.
JAVIERA TORRES
Stop!
JOEL FLANAGAN
I got it, I got it. This is getting a little weird. But I like it.
[MUSIC]
JOEL FLANAGAN
I can't dance or cook.
[CORDELIA SINGING]
[BANG]
CORDELIA TORRES
What the hell?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Corn Flakes never looked so good.
ERMENDA
¿Sí?
CORDELIA TORRES
They're cooking.
ERMENDA
¡No!
CORDELIA TORRES
Sí. He might be the one! ¡Salud!
[BELL]
JOEL FLANAGAN
It looks too good to eat.
JAVIERA TORRES
And you... look too good to be true. Careful.
BRIAN
No, no, it's a great idea. The mix is the... the dessert with the entree, and that's why I think it's a true winner.
STACEY FLANAGAN
A churro stuffed with a beefy beanie burrito? Come on, Brian. I sent you out for a new product.
BRIAN
No, no, no, no, no. It's a good idea. It's a Humami thing. It's the salts with the sweets.
AARON WESTON
Yummy.
BRIAN
Yeah. Oh, thanks, dude.
STACEY FLANAGAN
All right. You guys aren't giving me anything. Don't tell me I have to rely on Joel. Oh, speaking of which, did the chile sample come in?
AARON WESTON
No. You know a way to turn things around? A new marketing campaign.
BRIAN
Yeah. Good idea, genius. We just ran a bunch of new spots.
AARON WESTON
And we saw no bump in sales. What about running old spots? Retro is in, and most importantly, it's cheap.
STACEY FLANAGAN
You know what? I like that. I like it a lot.
[PHONE RINGING]
JOEL FLANAGAN
So good! Hello? You've reached Joel. Gotcha!
[PHONE RINGING]
JOEL FLANAGAN
It's my assistant.
JAVIERA TORRES
Oh. Well, maybe it's important. Do you have any open cases?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Open cases? You watch a lot of TV.
JAVIERA TORRES
I have a PhD in TV law, yes, thank you very much.
JAVIERA TORRES
Today is the big day, huh? You get to finally get your car back.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I hope he caught a lot of fish.
JAVIERA TORRES
And I'm making my signature dish. I thought you'd be a little more enthused about it.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I am, for you. And I've been waiting forever for this dish.
JAVIERA TORRES
Yeah, you have. Well... you know, just because you get your car back, doesn't mean you have to leave.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Who says I'm leaving?
JAVIERA TORRES
Who says you're not?
JOEL FLANAGAN
I do.
AARON WESTON
Dude! Hey.
JOEL FLANAGAN
What are you doing here?
STACEY FLANAGAN
Thanks for returning my calls!
JAVIERA TORRES
Joel?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Javiera. This is...
STACEY FLANAGAN
Oh, I'm Stacey. Joel's sister. And this is Aaron, a colleague.
JAVIERA TORRES
It's very nice to meet you, both of you. I'm Javiera, Joel's... I mean... So? What brings you two here?
STACEY FLANAGAN
Business.
JAVIERA TORRES
Business? In Villanueva? There's not much here.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Oh, I don't know, I wouldn't be so sure about that.
JAVIERA TORRES
Well, I'm so happy to meet you. Today is a good day, too. I'm making my specialty.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Oh! I had a feeling today was gonna be a good day.
JAVIERA TORRES
Excuse me. I have to return to the kitchen.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Of course, go!
JOEL FLANAGAN
I need to talk to you. Alone.
STACEY FLANAGAN
You had a very specific task. And instead, I find you here rebounding with this woman?
JOEL FLANAGAN
It is not a rebound!
STACEY FLANAGAN
Oh, I take it that's Javiera's daughter. So, this is what you've been up to. Playing house?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Listen. She doesn't know who I am. She knows that I'm a lawyer, but she doesn't know the rest. Please... Please let me tell her. Give me that, at least.
STACEY FLANAGAN
All right. But I advise you to come back to reality and quickly. Before someone gets hurt. Like that adorable little girl over there.
CORDELIA TORRES
So, his sister is in town doing business here?
JAVIERA TORRES
Maybe she's working in Santa Fe, I don't know, she didn't really say.
DONA
Maybe he's thinking about moving here? And she came to check you out.
JAVIERA TORRES
Stop it with the jinxing! Mamá!
CORDELIA TORRES
Right.
DONA
It's that game! He's been distracted all day.
JAVIERA TORRES
I'm gonna start charging you for this, ok? It's ok, you can keep the TV on. I am having a great day.
DONA
Oh, a woman in love.
GONZALO
That's all it took? Damn!
STACEY FLANAGAN
So good!
CORDELIA TORRES
I'm glad you like it. So, my daughter tells me that you're doing business here.
STACEY FLANAGAN
My company is looking to expand into the area.
CORDELIA TORRES
Maybe we'll get to see you more often. We've gotten quite used to Galileo.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Galileo?
CORDELIA TORRES
Yeah, sorry. That's the town's nickname for your brother. He thinks that the world revolves around him, doesn't he?
STACEY FLANAGAN
I'm really starting to love this town. So, tell me more about the signature dish of your daughter's. What's it called?
CORDELIA TORRES
"It's called, ""Amanecer chile verde de Javiera."""
STACEY FLANAGAN
Javiera's green chile sunrise.
CORDELIA TORRES
¡Órale! ¿Hablas español?
STACEY FLANAGAN
Un poco.
CORDELIA TORRES
Enjoy.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Thank you. How about that for marketing?
SOPHIA TORRES
Why aren't you just sitting there?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Why do you ask so many questions? And why are you never in school?
SOPHIA TORRES
Well, my classroom got flooded and mom says that the whole entire town needs new ducks.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I think you mean aqueducts.
SOPHIA TORRES
Yeah, that's what I said. Mom said you got your car back. Does that mean you're gonna leave?
JOEL FLANAGAN
I promise you something. I won't leave here unless I'm no longer wanted.
SOPHIA TORRES
But you're wanted.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Thanks, kiddo.
SOPHIA TORRES
Wait, where are you going?
JOEL FLANAGAN
To find out if I'm wanted.
DONA
It's amazing!
JAVIERA TORRES
Perfect.
STACEY FLANAGAN
[SIGHS]
GONZALO
Oh, come on!
JAVIERA TORRES
It's ok.
ANNOUNCER
Tortilla Hut started with the love and determination of one man... who respected nature and whose motto was simplicity.
CORDELIA TORRES
Where are you going? You can't go in there. She's in the middle of service and she will kill you.
STACEY FLANAGAN
And to celebrate Tortilla Hut's anniversary...
JOEL FLANAGAN
Our famous taco combo...
GONZALO
Hey! Isn't that Joel?
JOEL FLANAGAN
is available for only $0.49.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Why are grandpa's tacos so good, Joel?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Family and love. That makes everything taste better.
ANNOUNCER
Tortilla Hut. Where everything is bigger and better.
CORDELIA TORRES
Hey, what's going on? Darling, what's going on?
JAVIERA TORRES
He's not who he says he is.
SOPHIA TORRES
You're not Joel?
JOEL FLANAGAN
No, I'm still Joel. I'm just not the man your mother thought I was.
SOPHIA TORRES
That's what you said about daddy.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Please, give me a chance to explain.
JAVIERA TORRES
For what? So you can lie to me some more? What do you want from me?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Hey, no! Hey, stop.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Joel, what are you doing?
JAVIERA TORRES
My dish. You wanna steal my dish?
STACEY FLANAGAN
No, we are not thieves. We have every intention of compensating you.
JAVIERA TORRES
You wanna rip me off, huh? Where does your food come from?
STACEY FLANAGAN
Tortilla Hut, of course.
JAVIERA TORRES
You know where my food comes from? Them. The lamb from my albóndigas come from Mr. Chaves. Oh, and then Mrs. Garcia. Her smoked chipotle cheddar. Her goats pasture on our hills. And she never gives them hormones! You know why? Because she respects the animals! And we can feel it, see it... taste it.
DONA
That's right, Javiera.
ERMENDA
And what about the most important part? Your family's chiles.
JAVIERA TORRES
That's right. So you and your industrial food lady with antibiotics, binders and emulsifiers, are gonna need a hell of a lot of inspiration to duplicate what we have here.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Well... we have all the inspiration we need.
AARON WESTON
And we have a team of food scientists who can duplicate your chile.
JAVIERA TORRES
That can't be real. Or legal.
JOEL FLANAGAN
They're gonna compensate you, Javiera. I'm gonna see to that.
JAVIERA TORRES
Compensated? Ay, ¡qué idiota eres! You clearly don't know me. And I obviously never knew you. Sophia!
JOEL FLANAGAN
Javiera, please. I didn't know how to tell you.
JAVIERA TORRES
Was this all a joke to you?
JOEL FLANAGAN
No, it was real. It was very real.
JAVIERA TORRES
You don't even know what that means. This is real to me. Family. And I want no part of you or your family.
[MUSIC]
LAUREN
Joel?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Lauren! Wow, it's good to see you.
LAUREN
Yeah, good to see you. So, how long have you been back?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Oh, a while now. I meant to reach out.
LAUREN
No, Joel. I don't...
JOEL FLANAGAN
To tell you I'm sorry. You deserve better.
LAUREN
Thanks. That's... thanks. That means a lot.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Hey, I heard you got promoted.
LAUREN
Yeah, I did. And I got engaged. Yeah.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Wow! 
LAUREN
I know!
JOEL FLANAGAN
Congratulations.
LAUREN
Yeah, crazy, right? I mean, I know it's super fast, but...
JOEL FLANAGAN
Hey, when you know, you know. You know? Hey, I made you laugh!
LAUREN
That's more of a chuckle. But...
JOEL FLANAGAN
You always knew what you wanted, Lauren. I wish I was so lucky.
LAUREN
Maybe you're luckier than you think, Joel. Take care of yourself.
JOEL FLANAGAN
You too.
STACEY FLANAGAN
And I am pleased to report that we're well on our way to achieving our quarterly objective, bringing sophisticated flavors to mainstream America. So now, I'd like to introduce to you our new VP, Aaron Weston, who is going to present to you our new product report. Aaron?
AARON WESTON
Thank you, Stacey. Gentlemen. We have worked around the clock to duplicate the Southwest experience for our core consumers.
ANNOUNCER
Our team combed every corner of the Southwest to find its most authentic regional dishes. And it doesn't get more authentic than the smoky New Mexican green chile. Using cutting-edge food science, Tortilla Hut is bringing this exotic flavor from our family to yours.
AARON WESTON
Now, what we have come up with is testing through the roof. I give you... the Sopa Bowl salad.
STACEY FLANAGAN
So, what we have done is recreate our favorite Southwestern dish, taking what works while keeping cost low.
AARON WESTON
Right. Instead of pricy lamb, we're using ground beef. Instead of designer cheese, our version is processed, but gooeylishious, as one focus group member said.
JOEL FLANAGAN
You want people to eat that?
STACEY FLANAGAN
No. We want them to devour it.
AARON WESTON
Also testing through the roof, our chili sauce packets.
STACEY WESTON
Pass those down. We're thinking that once these catch on, we'll just slide in a little upcharge.
JOEL FLANAGAN
You'll never be able to duplicate Villanueva. And I'm glad to see it.
STACEY FLANAGAN
Joel! And you'll never duplicate Tortilla Hut and what it means to you.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I don't wanna duplicate anything. I want something real. I quit.
[MEXICAN MUSIC]
CORDELIA TORRES
Baby? People have been asking about your sunrise dish.
JAVIERA TORRES
You know it's off the menu, mamá.
CORDELIA TORRES
It's gonna be ok, ok? You'll see.
JAVIERA TORRES
Thank you.
SOPHIA TORRES
I'll show them. I'll bring Joel back.
CORDELIA TORRES
Hola, mi chiquita.
SOPHIA TORRES
Hola, abuelita.
CORDELIA TORRES
¿Qué haces? ¿Estudiando el mapa?
SOPHIA TORRES
Es un mapa del tesoro.
CORDELIA TORRES
A treasure map? You are my treasure. Tú eres mi tesoro.
JAVIERA TORRES
What are you doing? Oh, you... Nice. You're getting me my own flowers?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Hey. Never promised you a rose garden. It's a song, it's from the 60's. The 70's I think.
JAVIERA TORRES
Why are you here?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Isn't it obvious? I came here, I biked 900 miles... for you. I love you, Javiera.
JAVIERA TORRES
You're not the first man to tell me that.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Maybe I'm the first man to ever come back. First man to apologize. What I did was wrong and selfish. And I know now. What I want at the center of my universe isn't myself, but you. You and Sophia.
JAVIERA TORRES
What do you plan to do in this... small dusty town?
JOEL FLANAGAN
I'm gonna open up a law office. I Googled, there is no lawyer for 35 miles.
JAVIERA TORRES
You? You Googled.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I Googled. Where's Sophia?
JAVIERA TORRES
Mamá, have you seen Sophia?
CORDELIA TORRES
Sí, sí. She was playing with her treasure map.
MAN
Come back here, you little thief!
JAVIERA TORRES
Sophia!
MAN
Come back, you thief!
CORDELIA TORRES
My granddaughter is not a thief!
JOEL FLANAGAN
Stop!
CORDELIA TORRES
She's a very good girl.
[POP MUSIC]
JAVIERA TORRES
Sophia!
[HORN]
JAVIERA TORRES
Sophia!
[HORN]
JAVIERA TORRES
Sophia, please, stop the truck. No, no, no, no, no. God!
[HORN]
JAVIERA TORRES
Chiquita!
SOPHIA TORRES
Help! Somebody help! Somebody help!
JOEL FLANAGAN
Sophia!
SOPHIA TORRES
Help! Somebody help! Can anyone hear me? Help! Help! Somebody help!
JOEL FLANAGAN
Sophia! I'm coming!
SOPHIA TORRES
Galileo, hurry! Help! My backpack!
JOEL FLANAGAN
Swim towards the rocks! Sophia! Climb over to the rock. Hold on! Hold on. Let go on three, ready? One, two, three.
JAVIERA TORRES
Sophia! No, no, it's ok. It's ok, just hold on to Joel, baby. Oh my God! Ay, mi bebé. Mamita, it's ok. I love you, mommy is right here. Mommy is right here, baby.
SOPHIA TORRES
Mommy.
JAVIERA TORRES
My girl! My crazy little girl! ¿Estás loquita? What were you thinking?
SOPHIA TORRES
I wanted Joel back. Can we keep him? Please?
JAVIERA TORRES
He's not a dog, mamita.
SOPHIA TORRES
Please?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Well...
JAVIERA TORRES
Thank you. Thank you for saving my little girl's life.
JOEL FLANAGAN
No. Thank you for saving mine.
JAVIERA TORRES
What are you looking at?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Let's get out of here.
SOPHIA TORRES
We have an order for three more chili smoothies.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Already? I haven't even finished the last order yet.
JAVIERA TORRES
Hey! It was your idea to integrate yourself into the family business.
SOPHIA TORRES
Come on, daddy! I'm not getting any younger.
JOEL FLANAGAN
I almost forgot, I've got to catch the DA before he goes to his fishing lunch.
JAVIERA TORRES
You're working on a Saturday?
JOEL FLANAGAN
Hey, you knew I was a lawyer when you married me. Besides, somebody's gotta fight for those bike lanes on Main Street.
JAVIERA TORRES
All right, all right. I'll finish the smoothies.
JOEL FLANAGAN
Hey! Hey, take it easy.
JAVIERA TORRES
I'm fine.
JOEL FLANAGAN
What's she feeding you, anyway?
JAVIERA TORRES
Plenty of love.
[MUSIC]