COCO DUTCH EICHHORST EPH FET JOSHUA JUSTINE LAWYER MAYOR_LYLE NORA PALMER RADIO_REPORTER REPORTER_1 REPORTER_2 REYNOLDS SETRAKIAN STEVENS SURGEON NORA I can’t believe there are this many “R. Fonescu’s” listed in the phone book. FET A couple generations back, some virile, happening Fonescu must have gotten around. FET Gotta respect a guy who keeps the party going no matter what. NORA I’m not getting a strong book collector vibe. Let’s get out of here. * SETRAKIAN Fonescu, Ruben E. Date of birth, 8/27/1992. NORA Has anyone ever actually seen this book? SETRAKIAN Several people have seen it. None of them, however, are available to discuss it. NORA Because they’re not in New York. SETRAKIAN Yes. That. And also because they’re dead. FET Who were these star witnesses, Professor? SETRAKIAN One was a mistress of Louis the fifteenth. She bragged of having possession of the Lumen. She died in childbirth, supposedly, but her corpse, and that of her infant, were found mutilated. Drained. NORA I don’t know why we’re searching or something that might hurt us. FET She has a point, professor. SETRAKIAN You’re not wrong, Dr. Martinez. There are strange stories of the book turning up in India and Burma, always presaging massacres, upheavals. Then, in 1856, it was listed as part of an auction in Marseille. The auction was canceled after a mysterious outbreak gripped the city. Since then the book has disappeared. It is said to be cursed, bringing death and disaster to anyone who reads it. But I’m willing to take that risk. NORA Well, I’m not sure I am. PALMER Stay here. COCO What are you doing here? PALMER You walk up three flights -- every time you come in and out? COCO That’s how it works. PALMER I’ve come to apologize. COCO It’s too late for that. PALMER Coco, I’ve been in pain nearly very moment of my life. But this... I’ve never felt anything like this. It’s like I’m being... burned alive, but it’s coming from somewhere inside me. COCO That’s called heartbreak. I’m sorry it’s unpleasant for you, but you caused it. And it’s not my job to fix it. PALMER All my life my illness separated me from everyone else. Pain was my only companion. Over the years while my classmates all married and had families, I just sank further and further into my own bitterness. All that changed when I met you. I need you, Coco. COCO You think you’re the only one who’s had a difficult life? You think that entitles you to something? PALMER Please. I can’t bear the thought of you hating me. COCO Hate you? I thought I loved you, Eldritch. I didn’t shut you out. You shut me out. PALMER Coco. Come back to me. I want to protect you... because I... I love you. COCO And everything is forgotten, is that it? Like nothing ever happened? PALMER Forgive me. I will prove myself to you. Give me a chance. MAYOR LYLE You made your voices heard, my friends, and we have answered: we are bringing the Safe Streets MAYOR LYLE We are “movin’ on up!” MAYOR LYLE Uh, I’ll now pass the podium to my fearless co-leader, the savior of Red Hook, Councilwoman Justine Faraldo! JUSTINE Thank you. I remember once walking by this very store when I was a kid. I was with my mother and brother, and my mother said, “If I worked for a month, I still couldn’t afford to buy myself a key chain in that place.” JUSTINE Well, Ma, now I got the key to the front door! JUSTINE We’re going to make all of New York safe, but we’re coming here next. JUSTINE But the safety and security that only we can provide comes at a cost. All residents of the Upper East Side will contribute one percent of their property value to the S.S.I. -- payable in gold, silver, or other approved commodities. JUSTINE Across the river in Brooklyn, the good people of Red Hook rose up to fight shoulder-to-shoulder with my men. They paid their way with blood. Something tells me the Upper East Side would prefer to pay with their wallets. Quality, as you people know better than anyone, does not come cheap. Captain Kowalski will now explain in detail how the S.S.I. will be implemented. MAYOR LYLE Justine, you can’t do this. JUSTINE Mayor, I just did. DUTCH Do you know what bonobos are? EPH Yeah, they’re a kind of pygmy chimpanzee. DUTCH They don’t keep them in zoos – do you know why? Because they are constantly having sex with each other. Males and females, males and males, females and females. Not exactly family-friendly. EPH I’m glad I’m finally getting a window into what’s going on inside your mind. DUTCH My point is, they’re completely promiscuous -- and happy. They resolve all their conflicts through shagging, so they don’t feel the need to kill each other. EPH Are you saying that you’d rather I have sex with Palmer instead of shooting him? DUTCH No, I’m just saying it’s interesting. Like, maybe monogamy is just some arbitrary, punishing rule. Like Catholics teaching kids that it’s evil to masturbate. EPH I think promiscuity, and masturbation, are pretty much culturally acceptable at this point. DUTCH Masturbation, fine, slutting around if you’re single, yeah, who cares, but society does not accept the idea that we can love more than one person at a time. You have to make a choice. If you don’t, you’re a selfish bastard. You’ve betrayed someone. EPH Making choices is part of growing up. DUTCH Be honest with me. No judgment. Did you really resist the sultry temptation of Dr. Martinez ‘til after your divorce? EPH As a matter of fact, I did. DUTCH But you wanted her. DUTCH And what were you going to do? Leave your wife for her? No. Because your wife was amazing and you loved her. Just like Nora’s amazing. You wanted both. It’s only natural. EPH It may be natural, but... the zoos don’t allow it. DUTCH I’ve always hated zoos. EPH Is that why you’re here? Why you jumped at the chance to do this with me now? You don’t want to deal with your little love triangle back at home? DUTCH Letting one of them go feels like having to cut off one of my arms. PALMER You see? Your desk is just as you left it. PALMER Shall I order us lunch? COCO I’m not hungry. EPH Palmer’s secretary. Looks to me like you might not be the only one with love trouble. DUTCH Screwing the assistant? Bit of a cliche, isn’t it? EPH They might both be fans of the bonobo. COCO I shouldn’t have come back, Eldritch. PALMER But of course you should have. You’ve changed my entire -- COCO Yes? Yes, Joshua, it’s me. Why, thank you... I appreciate that. COCO What? Yes, send him in. PALMER No, no. I don’t want to see anyone right now. COCO It’s the Mayor. PALMER Mr. Mayor. I would appreciate it if you would call ahead. MAYOR LYLE No time for that. Eldritch, I need a favor. Do you have a relationship with Councilwoman Justine Faraldo? PALMER The savior of Staten Island? No, I can’t say I’ve had the pleasure. MAYOR LYLE You’ve heard she’s going to the Upper East Side next, right? PALMER Yes... I did. MAYOR LYLE Well, she just dropped the bomb that for her services, she’s instituting a one percent parcel tax on the entire neighborhood. She has no authority to do that. PALMER Then what are you worried about? Let her self-destruct over this. MAYOR LYLE She won’t. She’s too clever. The only person who’s going to get destroyed in all of this is me -- for suggesting she take on the Upper East Side next! PALMER How can I help? MAYOR LYLE Talk some sense into her. Tell her she’s not going to save the city by pissing off its most influential residents. PALMER It’s about time for me to meet the Councilwoman anyway. MAYOR LYLE Thank you. Thank you. PALMER Coco, tell Joshua to get us the car. We’ll pay her a little unexpected visit. Oh, and tip off the press that we’re coming. DUTCH We’ve got to find a perch and get set up. We need to get moving... EPH Say good-bye to eternal life, you son of a bitch. EPH Almost time. All good? DUTCH All good. We’ll just haul ass down the fire escape, make it to the bike, and we’re gone. EPH There’s nothing blocking our path? No furniture or – DUTCH -- Oh, I thought you might like a rest, so I put a nice big sofa-bed out there, was that not a good idea? DUTCH You look pretty cool right now, you know. EPH Thank you. DUTCH Yeah. You’ve changed a lot since my first impression of you. I had thought, that’s the kind of guy who gets all pissy if his socks aren’t rolled into pairs -- but he’s much too important to do it himself. He makes his wife do it. EPH Maybe that’s why I’ve been so irritable lately. DUTCH Seriously, though. This is pretty badass of you. EPH It won’t be badass if I miss. NORA Someone lives here? SETRAKIAN Perhaps Fonescu has an apartment above his place of business, as I used to. Mr. Fet? NORA It will take us a year to get through all of these. SETRAKIAN The book is much too precious to keep in a public shop. FET After you. FET Maybe knock first...? FET Less formal this way. SETRAKIAN Start searching. The lore says the Lumen is bound in silver... but check every volume to be sure. It has to be here somewhere... EPH Where is he? LAWYER Your specious proposition is illegal and unconstitutional. JUSTINE Do your clients really want to go on record as refusing to do their part in the war effort? Who are they more afraid of, vampires or their pissed-off fellow New Yorkers? MAYOR LYLE There is room for compromise here. JUSTINE I could compromise my guys right out of the Upper East Side, how about that? We’ll go back to cleaning out Brooklyn. LAWYER You wouldn’t dare. JUSTINE Trust me, you don’t want to play “you wouldn’t dare” with me. MAYOR LYLE I’ll return momentarily. DUTCH Okay, this is it. Just remember to breathe. REPORTER 1 Mr. Palmer, what message do you intend to deliver to Councilwoman Faraldo? REPORTER 2 Do you believe what the Councilwoman is doing is illegal? PALMER I think she’s doing a marvelous job, and I want to offer her my encouragement and assistance... EPH Shit... DUTCH We’ll get it, we just have to be patient. EPH I think I can get him, if they would just keep still for a second – DUTCH No. Just wait. EPH We’re gonna lose him... I’m gonna shoot. DUTCH No -- if you miss, he’ll be on lockdown. We’ll never get another chance. You need a clean shot. EPH Come on... move... DUTCH Wait... wait... DUTCH Now. Do it. EPH Oh my God. DUTCH We gotta go. EPH I want to make sure I got him... DUTCH There’s no time! Come on, move it! They’re already coming! PALMER What happened? JOSHUA You’re all right, sir. PALMER Coco! Coco! DUTCH No... STEVENS Hey! You! I got him! Madison and 56th! DUTCH Run. DUTCH Go! RADIO REPORTER Firefighters have managed to contain a massive blaze on Pier 86, but not before it consumed a large portion of the Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum. NORA You find anything? FET Nothing to do with the strigoi, but I did find Fonescu’s stash of vintage girly magazines. NORA Charming. RADIO REPORTER In breaking news, there has been an assassination attempt on philanthropist Eldritch Palmer. RADIO REPORTER Mr. Palmer was arriving at Councilwoman Justine Faraldo’s new headquarters at Neuman Vogel’s when a single shot was fired. We are receiving unconfirmed reports that the suspects, a man and a woman, have been taken into custody. RADIO REPORTER We have no word on Palmer’s condition but will give you updates as soon as we receive them. In other news, a stockpile of prescription medication that had been looted from -- NORA You know something. FET That’s Eph. The suspect. And the woman is Dutch. NORA Jesus Christ. SETRAKIAN We should be commending him. He may have just struck a significant blow. NORA And he’ll probably be executed for it. They both will. SETRAKIAN I’m sure they understood the consequences. NORA I don’t know if they’re capable of that. FET Closest precinct where they’d be holding anybody is the downtown south at 20th and 8th. You coming? SETRAKIAN Wait, you can’t leave -- we have more searching to do – FET It’s gonna have to wait. They need us. NORA So reckless and stupid. SETRAKIAN Nothing is more important than the Lumen. We must find it before somebody else does! FET Not true, professor. They are more important than this. NORA God dammit. SETRAKIAN Fine! I’ll find it myself. NORA You could have told me, you know. What Eph was planning. FET I’ve got an aversion to rats. What would you have said anyway? NORA I would have said crossing this line will change you forever -- you don’t murder people. FET And he would have done it anyway. NORA I guess I was kidding myself. He’s already turned that corner. FET You really think they didn’t understand the consequences? NORA No, they just didn’t care. SURGEON This is hardly an optimal surgical environment, but if we wait any longer we’ll lose her. Scalpel? EICHHORST Horrible. She took a bullet meant for you. How does that make you feel? PALMER Tell the Master I need to see him immediately. EICHHORST The Master is aware of the situation... PALMER You listen to me, you prick. If the Master doesn’t save her... if she should -- PALMER If she doesn’t make it through this thing, I am finished. No more help. Everything He has been working for, it will all fall to pieces. You understand me? EICHHORST Yes, I believe I do. You are demanding that the Master come here and release His own divine and invaluable essence just so you can continue fornicating with your secretary. PALMER Do not push me one inch further. EICHHORST I will pass along your message, but what the Master does -- or doesn’t do – is determined only by Him. And matters of the heart are not a high priority. SURGEON I need more suction -- SURGEON She’s stable... PALMER Can I speak to her? When will she wake up? SURGEON Mr. Palmer, there was a lot of damage. She also was in pulseless arrest for nearly four minutes. It’s likely she has suffered neurological injury. PALMER But will she wake up...? SURGEON I can’t say for sure. Her injuries were very severe. We won’t know for a while. Please, let her rest. In fact, the best thing you can do right now is get some rest yourself. PALMER The last thing I’m going to do is rest! DUTCH Can you believe that, for all my friends, you’re the very first assassin? DUTCH Come on, Doc, we did it! We took out Eldritch Palmer! EPH And now... we’re in here. I don’t see any version of this that ends well for us. STEVENS Reynolds, why don’t you go have a cigarette? REYNOLDS What? STEVENS Just go have a goddamn cigarette, would you? DUTCH Whoa, hey – EPH What the hell is going on? STEVENS Come on, we’ve only got a couple minutes. EPH -- You can’t do this. Hey, I’m the one you want -- STEVENS Keep talking, buddy. EPH You’d better not hurt her! PALMER Yes. I’m alive. You failed. EPH If I didn’t hit you, then who did I hit? PALMER You shot an innocent woman. EPH Is she alive? PALMER She’s possibly brain dead. How does that make you feel, Doctor? PALMER I see that upsets you. EPH I’m very sorry for her. But am I sorry I fired that bullet? PALMER Did Abraham Setrakian send you to kill me? EPH It was my idea. PALMER I find it odd that a man as smart as you would follow him. He’s a failure -- a disgraced scholar turned vengeful psychopath. EPH And I’m a disgraced doctor turned would-be assassin. I guess we’re two peas in a pod. PALMER I’m curious, as an epidemiologist, you work with statistics and probability... You must know that this will all be settled in a matter of weeks if not days. The die is cast. We’ve won. Why do you continue to resist? EPH You’re not obviously insane. Megalomaniacal, certainly. Sociopathic? Probably. Perverse, absolutely. I know illness drove your desperation to cheat death, but now... you are no longer a ghost in a wheelchair. Why do you persist? PALMER I persist because I understand the salient facts. Nothing lasts forever. Civilization is in freefall. Our world, as we understand it, is about to change: violently and forever. EPH With you selling out the human race in order to live -- if you can call it that -- as one of these monsters... PALMER The dominant species ravages the land and makes it their own. This is a fact beyond morality or conscience. Recognizing change is the key to survival -- and staying atop the food chain. EPH Is this what you came here to tell me? Because I don’t give a shit how you justify being this evil. A man with your wealth, your influence, your power... The Master couldn’t have found a better lackey. I mean -- disciple. PALMER We are partners. EPH Partners. That’s how he treats you, huh? 50/50? Full respect? EPH I’m sure you two are real bloodbrothers. Why would he share his great kingdom with anyone? Ask yourself that. EPH I wish I had succeeded in killing you. The world would thank me. PALMER But you didn’t. And the world will not even notice when you die. PALMER My Lord... You came. COCO Eldritch, what is happening? PALMER You are being saved. COCO Ohmygod... COCO Was that... Bolivar? What did he do to me? PALMER Coco, that was the Master. I am his partner. COCO The Master...? PALMER There is so much to tell you... COCO You’ve been helping them? I have been helping them? PALMER I hated lying to you. I didn’t think I could adequately explain. But now... you have experienced His power for yourself. COCO What are you talking about? PALMER Coco, I helped Him because I wanted Him to save my life. And He did. That is why I am healthy. PALMER And now he has saved your life, too. SETRAKIAN Rudyard... STEVENS Slim pickings down at the vending machines, huh? REYNOLDS Pretty soon I’m just gonna be eating gum. STEVENS I’ll go check it out. EPH Let me out! I’ll help you! EPH Thank you -- EPH You gotta be kidding me -- REYNOLDS Shut up! NORA You okay? FET Where’s Dutch? EPH She got dragged out of here hours ago, they wouldn’t tell me anything. FET Dutch! STEVENS Jesus Christ. EPH Are you okay? STEVENS I just killed four of ‘em down in the basement. EPH We’re getting out of here. I suggest you do the same. Now, where is Dutch? STEVENS My buddy, Ryan, took her. He was supposed to deliver her someplace. FET Where? Where? STEVENS The Mayfield Hotel. SETRAKIAN What have you done with it?!