ALL BETH BUS_DRIVER CHARLES CLAIRE CLARK LATRELL MAN MEGAN MILES OFFICER ROSS SOPHIE TED TYLER WOMAN BETH Hi. It's Beth. But it's not. Please leave me a message. CLARK Hi, Beth. Hello. Oh, it's Clark. I should have said that. Clark. I really think if you called me back and we talked, this could all be fixed. I'd feel a lot better. You know what? I think you'd -- you'd feel better, too, if we just -- ROSS Clark! CLARK I got to go. I miss you. I l-- go-- goodbye. ROSS Who was that? CLARK N-No one. Literally not talking to a person. Just practicing. ROSS I need you focused! You realize this is the last investor willing to talk to us. Latrell worked this guy's assistant for a month to get us this meeting! CLARK I've had a breakthrough! You ready for this? We lead with our weaknesses. ROSS That's your new strategy, huh? CLARK Hey. Studies show that you're judged to be more likeable if you begin by admitting your faults rather than waiting. We'd be better off making up things to admit to than appearing to be perfect. ROSS Oh, I highly doubt we have to worry about appearing perfect. CLARK Yeah. ROSS Was that Beth? Huh? Were you on the phone with Beth? CLARK Yeah, I was just -- ROSS Clark, you got to stop. You've had other women -- CLARK Oh, no, no, no. Not like her. Not like her. Ross, you're killing my mojo here! Can we do this later? Because right now I want to shake the money tree! Let's dominate! Come on. Pssh! Let's go. ROSS Is there a level just below "dominate"? ROSS The more my brother and I discussed it, it became very clear that in the right hands, these little observations about human nature that had just been laying around in academic journals could be turned into very powerful tools capable of doing nothing short of helping decide who becomes the next leader of the free world. And that got us thinking -- what if you could use this vast body of knowledge to help people manipulate the most important moments in their lives? What if -- CLARK What if, Ted?! What if we started the way that we agreed we were going to start, which is by saying that I'm severely bipolar, my academic career recently imploded when the university became aware that I was having an affair with a 22-year-old undergraduate student? Also, Ross here just finished a two-year stint in a minimum-security prison for fraud. Okay, there's that. Now, the point is, we're not hiding anything, even though by not leading with it -- which we agreed to -- it makes it seem like we are. We're not. Because we have nothing to hide. Because this is an incredible opportunity. You want to play "What if," Ted? What if you just need help finding that job you always wanted or to make sure that your company is chosen for that billion-dollar contract or that your daughter doesn't marry that dirtbag, freeloading musician that she's threatened to run off with? What if instead of leaving all the big moments to fate... CLARK ...we manipulate them with 60 years of research into human behavior? Stacking the odds in your favor so that when it really, really mattered, you came out on top? TED So...let me get this straight. You're offering me an alternative to fate? CLARK Yes. TED Okay. Sure. I'll take two. CLARK There you go! Now we're cookin'! ROSS Yeah. Clark is a world-renowned expert in human behavior, psychology, and motivation, and from that knowledge, he's able to tailor a plan to influence any situation so that at that critical life-altering moment -- CLARK Thank you. Shh. Ted, you lost a, uh, shareholder revolt that you were trying to lead last year, right? Well, we could have won that for you. TED So you're saying that you could have constructed a better argument for replacing the board? ROSS Yes. CLARK No -- I could have replaced the board without knowing anything about your argument. I saw the clips of your presentation -- Class "A" Dividends. Hell, I don't know if it was a good argument, but I do know that you're short, and you're balding, you sound a little effeminate, and pointy shoes make you look like an elf. Ted, I know that you lost when you stood up on the far-left side of the conference room, Ted. No one important is wearing pointy shoes on the far-left side of a room, Ted, ever -- ever! Don't you get it, Ted?! This is how people work! We don't listen to each other. No one's listening to you. No one's listening to me. We don't hear. We react to a million little things that we're not even aware of. The mind's full of Jedi mind tricks and back alleys and secret passageways. ROSS Sit. CLARK But -- but if you know what they are, you -- Watch this. Watch this! ROSS Clark, stop. Stop. CLARK No, no, no. ROSS Stop. Stop. Clark, no, no, no, no, no! TED Please don't move the desk! ROSS No! CLARK We can assert his power using only his feet. ROSS Please sit. CLARK I'll show you. Here -- back up. ROSS No, no, no. Wait, wait. ROSS No, no! Stop! Stop moving around! Stop! CLARK Find me a female! Any female! Go! Go! ROSS Stop. Stop. Stop. He's fine. Clark, Clark! Get your hand off his foot. TED Take your hand off my shoe! TED No, no, no! ROSS Aah! CLARK Ooh! ROSS Oh, my God. CLARK Oh. TED I think I'm beginning to get an idea of why you're having so much trouble getting this business off the ground. ROSS Look, it's gonna take some time to educate -- TED Look, your brother has a stunning résumé for academics, but come on -- this is real life. And let me tell you something -- in real life, the guy that you needed to get money from is gonna have to call a cleaning crew after you finish your pitch! So, I think I'll just wait for the next bus into this brave new world. CLARK I can't take the drugs, Ross! Okay? It's like when you go for a jog and you got the headphones on and the great music's playing and it's like life has a soundtrack. And then you take the headphones off, and then suddenly, everything's flat and dull! CLARK Look, drugs stop the music. Music is where all the ideas come from. ROSS I can think of several ideas we could have gone without in that meeting. That's all. CLARK Yes, okay. But my condition highly correlates with creativity, and some of the greatest minds in history have been -- ROSS We're not talking about history. We're talking about right here, right now, where we just blew our best possible chance to get some money in this -- LATRELL We didn't get it. CLARK No, Latrell. I blew it. Is that what you want to hear, Ross? ROSS I was just suggesting that you -- LATRELL Hey, this is serious. ROSS Does it look like I'm taking it lightly? LATRELL I called every contact I had left and practically offered to mow their lawn to get you in there. The landlord is ready to lock us out. Ted was our lifeboat. We needed Ted. CLARK Miles, you were a very promising graduate student. You shouldn't have followed me here. MILES I don't understand. Did you talk about a dominance display or...? CLARK Um, I talked about a lot of things, and then I remember trying to take off his shoes. MILES Why did you try to take off the man's shoes? CLARK I was gonna demonstrate how putting his feet between himself and a female -- MILES Miller-Barre study. Miller-Barre! Exactly! Miller-Barre! But I didn't say "Miller-Barre." I ripped off his shoes, and I knocked over his marbles. MILES Marbles? LATRELL You said you could control him. ROSS He's just in an up phase right now. LATRELL When will he come down? ROSS We don't want down. LATRELL Well, what do we want? ROSS Someplace in the middle. Look, it's not an exact science. LATRELL Where were you last night? ROSS What, are you checking my place now? LATRELL You had that on yesterday. ROSS Oh. Funny story. MEGAN Morning. MILES Megan. Thought you weren't coming in till Thursday. MEGAN Um...right. Well, I was just in between auditions, and I thought I would stop by to -- MILES You wanted to see me. MEGAN Sorry? CLARK I know what you're trying to do, but that's not how you do it. MILES Really? It was authoritative. It was declarative. I looked right into her eyes. CLARK Shut up for a minute! CLARK There's someone out there. ROSS What do you mean? Like a client? CLARK I -- I don't know. I don't know what a client looks like. ROSS CLARK What are we waiting for? Let's go dominate! ROSS No, no. "Dominate" is bad, remember? Let's try "communicate." How's that? CLARK Okay. Oh! ROSS What? CLARK Will you help me move that plant over to that chair? SOPHIE I don't even know if this is what you do. One of Tyler's doctors suggested maybe you could help. Dr. Allen? CLARK SOPHIE He said you used to be faculty at the same medical school. CLARK Yes. I was let go for throwing my lunch at a classroom full of first-years. SOPHIE He mentioned that. CLARK I was also recently let go from another institution for having an affair with an undergraduate. But, in my own defense, I was deeply in love, and I felt like she understood and accepted me exactly as I am. SOPHIE Okay. ROSS I've been convicted of securities fraud and spent two years in a minimum-security prison. Would you like to hear about the time I accidentally drove off without paying for gas when I was 17? SOPHIE Why are you telling me these things? ROSS Such a good question. CLARK Because, uh, we've made mistakes, and we want you to know that we've learned from them, and this is our chance to apply those lessons and expertise that I've gained through a lifetime of studying human behavior -- a study that, frankly, has been at least partly an attempt to understand the difficulties that I have controlling my own. ROSS Where was that answer an hour ago? CLARK At the beginning of the meeting, if you would have stuck to the plan. I'm sorry. Continue. SOPHIE Tyler has a heart condition. It makes him very weak and requires invasive surgery to repair his valves almost every year. TYLER One more surgery, and I'll have had as many broken ribs as Evel Knievel. SOPHIE The doctors have offered a new, permanent treatment that uses stem cells to help re-grow the valves, but the insurance company is saying it's experimental and they won't pay for it. Without the insurance, we can't possibly afford the procedure, and Tyler will just keep suffering through the surgeries. I mean, Tyler's existing bills alone have already bankrupted us. ROSS Bankrupted? CLARK Who have you been talking to? SOPHIE Well, we've worked our way up. I have a meeting scheduled with the head of the claims department tomorrow. CLARK And they can approve the surgery? SOPHIE Yes. CLARK That's really good. Hey! What -- What is he -- What is he like? Um, h-how educated is he? Is he aggressive? Do you have any pictures of his hands? SOPHIE No. I'm sorry. I guess I don't fully understand what it is you do. CLARK What we do is research and deploy a psychological strategy so that the people that have been saying no to you begin to say yes. Simply put, we change people's minds without them knowing we did it. TYLER Like Jedi mind tricks. CLARK Like Jedi mind tricks! Exactly! I said that this morning! Ross, didn't I say that this morning? ROSS Ha ha. Yeah. It went over very well. CLARK Now, you say you have a meeting tomorrow. SOPHIE His name is Charles Murray. I don't know much else. CLARK We'll figure out a way -- ROSS Oh, dear. You know what? We actually have to get into a meeting. So before we get too deep into this, why don't you give us your contact information, and we will be in touch with you as soon as possible. Thank you. Clark. CLARK This one is very intriguing. ROSS This is not a one. CLARK Tell the kid staring at 20 more heart surgeries this isn't a one. ROSS I would, but I'm pretty sure his phone's been cut off since they have no money. MetroMutual has sued their own policyholders to avoid paying for conventional treatments. We got a better chance of getting a unicorn to perform experimental surgery than getting them to pay for it. We're not talking about MetroMutual. We're talking about one man here -- Charles Murray -- and that opens up several very strong strategies. MILES Mirroring, triangulated confidence structuring, request reversal. ROSS Guess what -- it doesn't matter. They're bankrupt. There's zero upside here. LATRELL Maybe the fact that it's impossible is the upside. We can't nail down business or investment because no one seems to believe that we can do what we say we can do. So maybe we pro bono this, get a head on the wall. Then you and I have something to point to when we're trying to close someone who can pay. CLARK Wait. Are you on our side? CLARK Yeah, I...guess I am. CLARK Oh! I'm sorry. I just assumed you'd be against us. You know, you should really be sitting over here. You know what? Megan, why don't you sit opposite Ross? MEGAN Why? CLARK Because looking at someone they're attracted to largely destroys a person's ability to form a cogent argument. Just, you -- yeah. Go around. ROSS Stop! Stop! Stop! Just -- everybody, sit! Sit. Do you seriously think you can pull this off? CLARK I've always wondered if these elements could be isolated outside the labo-- Yes. ROSS Because if this blows up in our faces -- ROSS What the hell is she doing here? MEGAN Who's that? ROSS My ex-wife. CLARK Our new office manager! ROSS What? CLAIRE Hi. CLARK Hey. I told you I-I needed one more person. CLAIRE Oh. Where should I sit? CLARK Yes, where should you sit? ROSS CLARK Claire calms me down, Ross. She's like a magic feather. ROSS You may have noticed she has the exact opposite effect on me. Besides, I'm your magic feather. CLARK Yes, traditionally. But we're starting a new business together, which just happens to be full of negative triggers, like stress -- ROSS She's not the answer. Even if you were close when we were married -- CLARK Ross, when you were in prison, I was trying to deliver a grant proposal, and I had been awake for almost two weeks, and I began to believe I needed to go on a cross-country mission for God. I called her. She came. The minute I saw her, I started to come down. If she just sat in a room with me, I could focus. If she just laid in the bed with me, I could sleep. If she -- ROSS What?! You slept together?! CLARK Yeah. We slept in a bed together, Ross, after I'd been awake for two weeks! ROSS No! You don't do that. You don't call my ex-wife to come tuck you in. We all got divorced. That's how it works. CLARK Oh, were you available? I didn't know they let you out for "Brother's grant proposal has turned into an interstate holy mission." ROSS I know things are stressful right now. CLARK It's not just work! All my journal entries indicate the fact that I let Beth get away. ROSS You've got to get over this woman. She was absolutely not the one. CLARK Shh! No! She -- She accepted me right from "go." She loved me as-is. That doesn't happen. ROSS Listen. Listen. Listen to me. In a few weeks, I promise you -- CLARK No, no, no! I'm leaving her 10 to 15 messages a day, Ross! I'm sending 20,000-word e-mails! ROSS You cannot be -- CLARK That's why I need Claire! That's why we need Claire! To keep me from going to that place I was in during the pitch, to help me sleep and stop moving furniture, to get control before I'm charged with stalking a former student. ROSS She turned me in, Clark. I spent two years in prison because my own wife turned me in! CLAIRE You spent two years in prison because you were a fraud. ROSS CLAIRE I told you he'd be like this. ROSS Then why the hell did you come? CLAIRE Because Clark asked me to. And if he's working with you, then God knows he needs it. ROSS Oh, I see. When Clark calls, you come running. When I call, you run away? CLAIRE Yep. Well, he wasn't asking me to break the law. ROSS All I asked for was a little bit of -- It's not gonna work. I can't do it. It's impossible. CLARK Ross, I told you that I wasn't cut out for the real world. I told you I needed to find another teaching job. But you wanted me to try. If you want me to stay, I need her. By which I mean, I won't do it without her. ROSS CLARK Come on. Just please, just -- just take the day. ROSS I don't want to take the rest of the day! I want to help figure this out! CLARK We can get a lot more done without you. ROSS CLARK Do you want to meet the gang? CLAIRE Yes! CLARK You're gonna love 'em. Uh, Megan -- she's an actress that we use -- or would use if we did anything. But, um, she was in an infomercial once... CLAIRE Oh, wow. CLARK ...with, uh, it's like an oven mitt for the shower. MILES I still think that a request reversal is our best chance. CLARK It's a first-order effect. We can't teach a nervous mother to do it in four hours. Oh, my God! Four hours! Okay. CLAIRE What? What's happening? CLARK I'm sorry. I'm just -- I-I'm a little -- Is this okay? CLAIRE Yeah, this is fine. This is okay. CLARK Go back to sleep. Okay, we just need a way to prime his response. Ooh. Wait. What if instead of focusing...on getting him to help Sophie and Tyler specifically, we focus on making him believe that he's the kind of person that'll help anybody in need? MILES You suddenly want to turn him into a kind and generous guy? CLARK Yes! MILES In four hours? CLARK Yes! MILES How? CLARK Adrenalized implantation! MILES That's -- Has that ever been tried in a -- CLARK Nope! MILES Okay, we need a-a-a scenario that's going to -- CLARK Right. MILES Implantation. Someone's got to perform it. CLARK Exactly. CLAIRE Wait. Will someone please finish a sentence? What -- what are we talking about? CLARK Adrenalized implantation. It's -- All right. We've known for a long time that -- that incidents that occur when you significantly raise adrenaline levels become highly memorable. It's like they're seared into your brain. Think of a -- think of, like, a-a car crash or a-a soldier in a firefight. We know from talking to people that have been in these highly adrenalized circumstances that what you do, your actions under fire, you start to see those as being character-defining. It's like you get a glimpse of your true self. So the question became, if we controlled the circumstance that elevated your adrenaline levels, if we guided your reaction, could we essentially implant thoughts that you would begin to see as being part of your deepest character? MILES It's almost as if when someone's adrenaline levels are raised, their brain becomes like wet cement and we can write...anything we want inside it. A-A-And when it dries, it'll become like a deep personal truth. CLAIRE So, you think this could work on our guy? CLARK If we can spike his adrenaline level and plant the idea that he's the kind of person that we need him to be, that he's the kind of person who would be willing to help a desperate family in need, then yes. The research suggests that's exactly how he'll behave. But...But... CLAIRE What? CLARK Oh, my God. CLARK You said he rides the bus to work. MILES Uh, yes. CLARK Okay. Okay. So, we put Megan in -- in a distress scenario and we have her do the implantation. And for a heavy, we get...Latrell. MILES Latrell. Latrell! Ha! Ha! Would he do it? Would he do that? CLAIRE Would he do what? What are we doing? LATRELL You want me to fight him? MILES Just a little. CLARK No! No. Be threatening until he...snaps. ROSS Whoa. What the hell? Our first job, you're gonna do it without me? CLARK I sent you a text. We didn't have time for anything else. ROSS Where did you get this bread truck? CLARK I have a friend who -- LATRELL They want me to get in a fight with Charles Murray. ROSS Fight him? That doesn't sound like a psychological manipulation. Sounds like you guys were up all night watching "Goodfellas." CLAIRE There's not gonna be a fight. Latrell's just gonna upset the guy until he wants to fight so Megan can redefine his character. It's called adrenalized...implantation. LATRELL If you all think this is such a great idea, why can't one of you fight him? MILES Because you're...black. LATRELL Oh, there's no white homeless people?! CLARK Hey, hey, hey. He just means that the racial difference between you and Murray will get the most adrenalized response. But the anger's good. Use that. MEGAN Hey, guys, I think that's him. LATRELL All right. I don't think I can do this. I can't do this. I'm not doing this. I'm not -- MEGAN No. Listen. You'll be fine. Latrell, I always get nervous before auditions. But as soon as you open your mouth, it'll all go away. LATRELL I'm not an actor. I'm in business development. MEGAN But I will be with you. Just focus on me. All right? CLARK Yes, Megan. That is exactly the sort of reassurance display that we're looking for. Do the implantation just like that. Yeee! MILES CLARK Okay, you ready? Let's go. MILES Wolverine in position. LATRELL LATRELL Guys, I don't think I can do this. CLARK Stop whining and just do it! Sudden negative reinforcement alleviates reluctance. ROSS I'm familiar with yelling at people. You don't need to explain it. CLAIRE I wouldn't have thought one of your Ponzi-scheme jockeys would have this much trouble playing a bad guy. ROSS Latrell's not like that. He was only good 'cause he never knew the investments we were selling weren't real. CLAIRE Oh! So you lied to him, too. We should start a support group. ROSS Come here. Come here. Let's be honest. This isn't going to work. CLARK Come on, Latrell! Come on, come on, come on! ROSS I had it all worked out. I was inches from making it legitimate. MILES Guys, bus incoming. CLARK Come on! L-Latrell! What is wrong with you?! What are you doing?! Come on! Do it now! ROSS I tried to protect you! Do you understand?! CLAIRE Oh! I'm so sure. ROSS What is wrong -- CLARK You guys, stop it! The bus is coming! Latrell, w-what are you doing?! God! CLAIRE No, no, no, no, no! ROSS Clark! Clark, Clark! Okay. Clark. Clark. CLAIRE Hey, hey! Hey! CLARK Latrell, now! Now! CLAIRE Hey. Hey. CLARK Do it now! Now! Now! Now! Now! Now! Now! CLAIRE Look at me. Look at me. LATRELL Hey! Move! Get off my bench! You gonna move? Move now! MEGAN Oh, please, please. CHARLES Hey, um...hey. LATRELL What?! CHARLES There's no need. There's just, uh -- LATRELL What'd you say?! I need her to move! CHARLES Nothing. Um -- LATRELL Shut up! It's my bench... CHARLES Okay. LATRELL ...and I don't want her ass or your ass on my bench! CLARK Latrell, don't let up. Keep going. I promise he'll snap. LATRELL Do you understand me?! Move! I will lay your ass out! CHARLES Hey, hey, don't you -- LATRELL This is my bench! CHARLES Aah! Don't touch me! LATRELL It's my -- CHARLES BUS DRIVER Is everything okay? MEGAN Yeah, we're fine now. Thank you. CLARK Okay, see, at this moment, he is completely suggestible. MEGAN You don't meet a lot of people who are willing to stick their neck out like that...to help someone they don't even know just because it's, like, the right thing. CLARK Everything she plants into his head will crystallize into a new way he sees himself once the adrenaline fades. MEGAN If you hadn't been the kind of person that you are...I'm just lucky you're one of the good ones. ROSS What's she doing? CLARK Giving him her number -- or a number, anyway. It's gonna keep him thinking about her and, by extension, the type of person she believes him to be when he sits down with Sophie and Tyler. ROSS All that's really gonna make him say yes? CLARK No. But it's gonna make him believe that when someone's really in need, he's the kind of person who says yes. We can't force him to say one thing or another. It's not mind control. But we can make him believe he's a different, better person, and we can hope that leads to a different, better answer. MEGAN How'd we do? CLARK Um, I'd say if we get a call in the next three hours, we have a 40% chance. MILES No offense, but shouldn't you overestimate? I assume you've read the papers arguing that even expressing false confidence can positively shape outcomes. CLARK But we just deployed a highly experimental procedure using the untrained head of our business development dressed as a homeless person. I did overestimate, Miles -- by a lot. CLARK It's been too long. The effect can fade if you miss the window! ROSS Relax. Relax. You said yourself that it would take some time for him to create the narrative to come to the decision on his own. Right? CLARK I know, but it w-w-wouldn't take this long. ROSS Clark, you did a great job. CLARK O-Okay. Okay. MILES It's him. SOPHIE Yes? I understand. Right. Okay. Yes. I appreciate it. SOPHIE Thank you. CLARK Yes. Okay. MILES Oh! CLARK Oh. I was so -- ALL CLARK Mm! ROSS Told ya. Huh? CLARK Yes! ROSS CLARK Whoo! CLAIRE Oh, you did it. ROSS I'm talking about the people with deep pockets -- politicians trying to get elected. MILES Politicians trying to avoid jail. ROSS Billionaires who want to take over a company. MILES We could affect the stock price. There's almost nothing that you cannot manipulate. You could start a war if you want to. LATRELL Now, why the hell would you want to start a war? MILES Okay, well, you can stop a war, then. You could do either. ROSS The point is, once word gets out about what we can do, there's gonna be millions there for the taking. LATRELL Let's not forget that we actually changed this kid's life. And there's a lot more people like that -- innocent people getting screwed who could use our help. So instead of just chasing the highest bidder, wouldn't it be cool to actually fix some things? MILES I was more interested in the "millions" part. ROSS Work for free? Who are you? CLARK Uh, also, I just remembered this Danish fisherman study was interesting because it was scalable, and, uh -- MAN Summer lovin', had me a blast. WOMAN Summer lovin', happened so fast. ROSS Clark. Clark! CLARK What? CLAIRE You okay? CLARK I'm fine. Great night! Good job! I'm super-tired. I'm gonna go. See you guys tomorrow. ROSS Wha-- hey! What's the rush? Come on! CLARK There's no rush. I-I-I got to go. CLAIRE Well, then I'll take you. I'm ready to go myself. ROSS Hey, I'll take him. He can get by without you holding his hand. CLARK Guys! I-I-I-I got to walk. I'm gonna walk. So I'm walking. See you tomorrow. CLAIRE Clark! ROSS Clark! CLAIRE Clark! CLARK Beth! Please, can we just talk?! We just need to talk, Beth! CLARK Um, Beth, come on, please? I love you. But can I say that to your face? If it doesn't change anything -- WOMAN Professor Edwards? CLARK Oh, hi. Hi. I didn't mean to be a disturbance. I was just -- WOMAN She moved out like two weeks ago. CLARK What? Where? WOMAN I don't know. I just saw movers and -- CLARK No! No! No! No! No, no, no! Sh-- ROSS Um, thank you. OFFICER Anytime. Good luck. ROSS ROSS You just need some rest. If you -- If you hadn't been up for so long -- CLARK Ross. Not now. ROSS LATRELL Why aren't you answering your phone? ROSS Been a little busy. LATRELL We have a problem. ROSS I got one of those, too. MILES Murray okayed the surgery, but it got kicked upstairs. ROSS Not now, Miles. LATRELL It's been denied, Ross. Murray agreed, but they immediately put it before a review panel, and now everything's -- MILES It's a sham -- seven people, no medical training, obvious biases. We can go after them, but we're talking about planning and executing seven different -- LATRELL And we are literally facing eviction, Ross. Now, we don't have the time or the resources to chase this. And without it, we have nothing. ROSS Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey, hey! CLARK Oh, you're right. I-It would work a lot better over there. I'm sorry. ROSS Clark. Clark, stop. Stop! CLARK No. Why, Ross? It doesn't matter. T-They're gonna take it all anyway. ROSS Relax. We just need to put our heads together, come up with something else. CLARK I don't want to put our heads together! I don't want to do this. I told you this wouldn't work. I told you I didn't belong here. ROSS Listen. You were doing fine. This is a setback. We're gonna -- CLARK I'm not doing fine, Ross! I...need to get away from here because everything -- everything in here makes me think of her, and I can't -- ROSS You got to stop with this Beth stuff, all right? W-Whatever you think it was, it wasn't. CLARK How do you know?! ROSS I just know. And you need to face that and move on. CLARK Fine! I'm gonna move on. I'm going to Alaska. Or Spain. ROSS What? No, you're not going anywhere. CLARK Or a mental hospital in South America. But I'm not staying here! There are...triggers all over the place! ROSS Then let me help you! Remember when Dad died, who's the one who pulled you through that a-and put you back together? Me. Why are you shutting me out now? CLARK Because! I am trying to tell you I need to get away from here, but you're not listening because you don't care about me! You just can't stand the idea that your latest get-rich-quick scheme is walking out the door. ROSS This has got nothing to do with the money. CLARK Good! Then it shouldn't matter that I quit. ROSS Miles. Are you seriously walking out of here with a cardboard box? MILES Well, I guess I figured we were pretty much done. ROSS I'm not done. You done? I want to ask you a question. How do you feel about moral ambiguity? MILES Well...I'm pretty comfortable with it, actually. ROSS Hmm. MILES What'd you have in mind? ROSS I want to hold a press conference. MILES Uh, there's a million stories out there about insurance companies trying to screw people. Raking them over the coals is just likely to solidify their position. ROSS What if I don't want to rake them over the coals? What if I want to thank them? MILES Thank them for...what? ROSS Approving the surgery. MILES But they denied it. ROSS Nobody at the press conference is gonna know that. MILES O-Okay. So, um...You put the kid up there. "Thank you for saving my life." You generate a ton of positive press, make it a feel-good piece, and then basically dare them to ruin it by backing out. ROSS Pretty much. MILES I could put together a quick focus group, pull some data, maybe actually put together a real case for when they come in here with their hair on fire. Ha! That's -- That's -- That's insanely risky. Okay. The kid -- he's not an actor. So to make it seem real, we would have to convince him and his mom that we'd actually gotten MetroMutual back on board. And then, if it went wrong, if we had to yank it away again... ROSS They'd be exactly where they are now. MILES Yes, but we would be in some really iffy legal territory -- probably beyond iffy. Maybe we should loop Clark back in before we -- ROSS Even if he were in a good headspace, which he's not, we both know what he'd say. Let's worry about fixing this problem first. We can apologize later. MILES Does that strategy usually work? ROSS I've had pretty good luck with it. CLAIRE What the hell is this? ROSS Claire. Uh, look, now is not good timing. MILES I think we're ready. ROSS Just give me a sec. CLAIRE Ross. Ross, don't try to fix this. Whatever it is you're -- ROSS We needed a new approach. CLAIRE Let me guess. Does this approach include lying, fraud? ROSS I know you don't think much of me, and...you're probably right, but you, more than anybody, know that I love Clark. CLAIRE Oh. So this is about Clark now? ROSS It's always been about Clark. I wanted this because I think we are good for each other. Remember that time he stayed with us after the med school let him go? He was in a good place then. CLAIRE Yeah, because I talked to him every day while you were off doing -- CLAIRE Fine. Fine. Maybe you're the Clark whisperer. Maybe it's always been you. I was in a good place then, too. Remember that? I had my act together. I wasn't in any trouble. So...fine. Fine. Maybe Clark doesn't need me. Maybe I need him. Is that the worst thing in the world -- to think you are a better person when your brother's around? And if I can keep this thing alive -- MILES Ross. ROSS I'm coming. CLAIRE Ross, whatever you're planning -- MEGAN First, I'd like to thank you all for coming. I'm Rebecca Downs, Consulting Public Outreach Director for MetroMutual Insurance. At times... ROSS Trust me -- It's gonna be fine. CLAIRE Ross, can you think of a single time you've ever said that to me and you weren't wrong? ROSS MEGAN This amazing young man, Tyler, would like to share with you how MetroMutual was able to help him. TYLER I just...I just wanted to say thank you. ROSS We should have told him to cry. TYLER The doctors said I might be able to do some of the things I've always wanted to do, like play soccer. And now...my mom won't have to watch after me all the time. And...maybe she'll get to do some of the things she's always wanted to do, too. MILES Jackpot. MEGAN We'd certainly like to thank Tyler for those kind words. At times, we've been accused of caring more about the bottom line than the people, and, sadly, there have been occasions where those charges have seemed warranted. But MetroMutual is changing that. And we want to prove that cutting-edge and bottom line don't have to be in conflict. MILES Is it just me, or does this suddenly feel more like something we could go to jail over? ROSS I wouldn't say "more." The odds of it blowing up in our faces has always been relatively high to me. ROSS Only one way to find out. Hello. Ross Edwards, Edwards and Associates. No, but I assure you he's gonna want to speak to me before the afternoon news hits the air. ROSS A similar "MetroMutual saves cute kid" story's been picked up by the cable news channels and nightly network broadcasts. MEGAN It's going viral on Facebook and Twitter. MILES The promotional value of the clip for you guys is close to $7 million. MAN MILES Further, initial focus-group testing shows that the new business potential for MetroMutual stemming from the positive name recognition actually renders the essential cost of the surgery itself completely insignificant. CLARK I can't believe he's doing this. CLAIRE What can I say, Clark? He loves you enough to be incredibly stupid. MR. DANIELS Was your hope that a few charts would make it seem less overtly criminal? ROSS It was our hope that you would see what was on them and recognize a fantastic opportunity for your company. LATRELL Hey, what's going on? CLAIRE You really don't know? LATRELL Know what? Ross sent me on a lunch in Evanston, but the guy never showed up. CLARK Probably wanted to keep you clean in case it went wrong. MR. DANIELS You're delusional. The only opportunity we are remotely interested in is the opportunity to see you dismantled and prosecuted. LATRELL What's going on? CLARK She keeps saying "extortion," but I'm pretty sure it's covered under a false-pretense statute. ROSS Mr. Daniels, just hold on a minute. Let's not turn a misunderstanding -- MR. DANIELS Extortion is not a misunderstanding. CLARK See, I don't think anyone really understands how that's defined. CLAIRE Clark. CLARK Sit there. Look impatient. Latrell, when I put my hand in my back pocket, step up and say "Dr. Barnes is very busy." CLAIRE What? CLARK Sit. Do it. Please. Oh, is this the idiot from MetroMutual? I told you these guys would be too stupid to accept millions in free publicity. But he kept saying, "It's a win-win. It's a win-win." See, that's the difference between he and I. I'm more win-lose, win-destroy. MR. DANIELS I-I'm sorry. Who are you? CLARK You're not sorry. You haven't even begun to be sorry. Making you sorry -- That's my job. Do you recognize her? MR. DANIELS No. CLARK Oh. Well, of course. That would imply that you had some clue as to what you were doing. That's Dr. Claire Barnes, special liaison to the Senate Subcommittee on Health Insurance Regulation and Reform -- you know, the people that hold the fate of your industry in their hands. See, they don't think you guys should decide for yourselves what is and what isn't experimental. They want a panel of doctors and bureaucrats to do that for you. And they are just dying for a case just like this to hammer you with. And, boy, are we gonna hammer. Little teary Tyler and his curable heart condition are gonna be sitting in front of Congress, and you're gonna be twisting in your chair, covered in so much flop sweat, Mark McGwire's gonna call to say that you come off poorly. And then when you end up with some committee telling you when and how to pay up, you're gonna be sobbing at the memory that someone once offered you a gift-wrapped win-win "Get out of jail free" card, but you were too stupid to accept it. LATRELL I'm sorry, but Dr. Barnes is really very busy. CLARK Oh. Uh, of course. Let's go to my office. MR. DANIELS Wait. MR. DANIELS We'll take the publicity. We'll take the business. But eventually, this is going to catch up with you. I'm gonna make sure of it. ROSS Well, until then, you ever find yourself in a tough spot, you know who to call. That was brilliant! What? W-We just won. CLAIRE No, Ross, you just lied and cheated, just like you've always done. We have to have rules if we're all gonna do this, okay? You can't just turn your new business into your old one. ROSS You don't issue demands. I don't work for you. LATRELL I'm with her. If this is gonna be another boiler room, I'm out. ROSS CLARK Look. I know she comes on a little strong, but Claire has a point. ROSS Clark, if you want Claire, I'll give you Claire. You want rules, I will follow rules. You want to staple furniture to the ceiling, I will hold the ladder. If I'm gonna give you everything, you got to not walk out on me. At the minimum, I got to know we are at least in this thing together -- you and me. CLARK Look. The thing is, I'm not a very good teammate, Ross. I get ahead of myself. And the more you do to try to help me, the more nervous I get about messing it up. ROSS I don't care. You can mess up all you want. CLARK Yeah, you do. Remember when I started having issues and you brought that girl home from college and I totally freaked her out and you guys broke up? ROSS That had nothing to do with you. CLARK I saw your face. How embarrassed you were and how disappointed and...I don't want to do that to you again. ROSS You don't embarrass me. You...amaze me. The only times I've ever been disappointed is when you leave. CLARK All right, well, then I…I won't do that again. ROSS Really? CLARK Yeah. ROSS Now what do we do? Hug? CLARK Uh, there was a study once that said that physical contact after an emotional out-- Where you going? ROSS I'm gonna go see if I can get the money to keep this mess going. CLARK Want me to come with you? ROSS No. Thanks. ROSS Hey, uh, I did manage to get that kid his surgery. I mean, doesn't that count for something? CLARK The question isn't whether what you did matters to me. It's whether how you did it will ever matter to you. ROSS BETH Ross? ROSS What are you doing here? BETH Um...well, C-Clark -- he's been calling me, and he -- ROSS You cannot be here, Beth. That was not the agreement. I paid you a small fortune to just disappear, never to be heard from again. Do you understand? BETH That's all of it. I don't want it. ROSS BETH Look, I know it was supposed to be an act, but something happened, and I-I really...I like him. I tried to stay away, like we said, but I think maybe we can make it work. ROSS It did work, all right? You were supposed to get him fired. That was the agreement. You cannot come back now. BETH I'm sorry, but I can't let him go, and, obviously, he can't let me go, either. ROSS BETH Look, I won't tell him about our deal. I-I mean, it would be as bad for me as it would for you. ROSS Oh, really? Are you his brother? CLARK You see the red dress? CLAIRE Mm-hmm. CLARK Red is one of the most basic sexual signals. Um, and you see the way her eyes are? CLAIRE CLARK It's -- It's a two-dimensional come-on. CLAIRE To sell a faucet? No. CLARK Yeah, to sell anything. It's called experiential transference. You confuse -- Sorry. Ross, Claire, this is Beth. Like...Beth. CLAIRE Yeah. CLARK Beth, you know? B-Beth. CLAIRE Hi. BETH Hi. ROSS We met, uh in the lobby. CLARK What are you doing? I-I sent you all those messages and I stopped by your place and -- BETH I know. I messed up. CLARK Okay. BETH S-- Okay, bye. S-See you in the morning. CLAIRE Why do I have a very bad feeling about those two? ROSS I have no idea. CLAIRE Well, look...I'm just...I'm glad we got all the ugly stuff out of the way early, hmm? ROSS I'm sure it's gonna be smooth sailing from here on in.