BILL BOBBY CAPTAIN CAROLINE DAD MOM MRS_STICK STICK BILL Hey, what? What’s going on? BOBBY Sounds like Mrs Stick! BOBBY Who else could it be? BILL I’m not getting out of bed just for her... CAROLINE What if something’s happened to Captain? BILL Ah well, if the kitty’s got issues, that changes everything. That, I’ve got to see. CAROLINE Can you hear yourself?! BILL I’m joking!... kind of. MRS STICK And I’ve got one here, and there, and here, you see? It’s a dee-sas-ter! MOM I’m sure it’s nothing serMRS STICK It IS serious! What if my poor little Captain catches it? I’ll have to spend the night in hospital, but I’ll be back tomorrow. CAROLINE Poor Mrs Stick... A little rest will do her the world of good. BILL And us, too! MRS STICK I’m counting on you to look after my little Captain until I get back! DAD Er - well - right... At your service, Mrs Stick, Ma’am... MRS STICK See you tomorrow! BILL Huh? She’s got to be kidding! MOM I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with Mrs Stick, but we can’t let her down at a time like... DAD That’s right! As neighbors, we have to stick together. BOBBY Huh? But? DAD Here, Dr Dolittle, I’m sure you’ll handle Captain just fine! CAROLINE Don’t worry, the three of us can play all kinds of tricks on Captain... DAD Because if anything happens to him, we’ll never hear the end of it! Well, we won’t anyway, but... MOM Is that clear, boys? Captain is our guest! CAROLINE I guess we’ll just have to ignore him and do our own thing... DAD So, son, how’s it going? BOBBY OK. Captain was pretty quiet so I took him out of his carrier. He hasn’t moved a whisker since. CAROLINE Come on, let’s go play outside! Robin’s waiting for us! BILL And leave Captain alone in the house? I don’t think so! I’m not letting him out of my sight. DAD And I always thought Captain was a bit wild... But just look at him! BILL Hey - what about me?! CAROLINE Don’t worry, he won’t cause any trouble. Come on, come and play! BILL You’re right, Caro. He’s too much of a goody four-paws. BILL Ouch! BILL Water, now! CAPTAIN Ahchoo! Whoops. Sorry... CAROLINE Eww, that’s so gross! BOBBY Bill! What’s going on? BOBBY I know it’s hard for you, having Captain here in the house. But barking at him for no reason won’t help. CAROLINE Try drinking out of the faucet! CAPTAIN Boo!!! BOBBY Bill! Why aren’t you drinking from your bowl!? BOBBY Stop fighting, you two! You could at least try to make an effort! CAPTAIN Mmeeeoooowww! BILL You can meow all you like. I ain’t moving a paw from this basket. BOBBY I think Captain would prefer to take his nap in the basket, rather than on the furniture. CAROLINE But there’s no room... BOBBY Can’t you make a little space for him? BILL What? Next you’ll be kicking us out and giving him the whole basket to himself. BOBBY You see, he just wants to snuggle. BILL Owwww!!! Aargh!! CAROLINE Captain! BOBBY Bill, that’s enough! Stop picking on Captain! MOM (OFF) Hahaha! MOM Stop, that tickles! MOM Bill, you know you’re not allowed on the sofa. MOM Hahaha! CAPTAIN You’re not allowed to do ANYTHING here any more. I’ve got these idiots wrapped around my cute little paw. MOM What are you two talking about? CAPTAIN I said, you’re as dumb as you look. CAROLINE Captain, this time you’ve gone too far! BILL Want a bit of DOG food now, kitty cat? CAPTAIN Meowwww... BOBBY Oh no, we forgot to feed Captain! DAD Mrs Stick didn’t leave anything for him... MOM Do you think he likes chicken? CAPTAIN Mmmm... Delicious! Really, Bill, you should try some... DAD No, Bill! Bill starts. MOM Bill?... DAD Bill, stop that right now! MOM Bill and Captain can’t spend the night under the same roof, it’ll be a nightmare! BILL I’m finally going to recover my rightful place in this house! Captain takes fright. MOM But we can’t throw Captain out, especially since he’s done nothing wrong. DAD You’re right. Bobby, go put Bill in the doghouse for the night... CAROLINE But Captain’s the one who... BILL Let it go, Caro... We’ve become strangers in our own home. CAPTAIN Good night... old buddies...13. CAROLINE There’s no way you’re sleeping out here all alone, Bill! I’m coming with you! BOBBY You know, Bill, it’s your own fault that you’re spending the night outside. CAROLINE We need to make him understand. BILL You’re right. I’ll be Captain! Meow, meow! BOBBY What are you doing now Bill, are you trying to be Captain or something? BOBBY What are you doing?! Cut it out! BOBBY I get it! Captain’s been playing tricks on you behind our backs? BOBBY I should have known! BOBBY I’m so sorry Bill, I should have realized... CAROLINE Hey, my turn! BOBBY What do you say we teach Captain a lesson? BOBBY Who’s the sweetest little kitty in the whole wide world... CAPTAIN Meeeeow!!! CAPTAIN What’s he up to now? BOBBY Time for beddy-byes, little kitty cat. You be a gooooood kitty now! BOBBY Ah, I had such a good night’s sleep! How about you, Captain?... CAROLINE Oh boy, did we have fun at your place last night! BILL I found some very tasty treats. CAPTAIN Not my treats... BILL And then I found heaps of kitty toys to chew up and drool on! CAPTAIN Not my toys... BILL And I wasn’t sure where to pee, so I thought maybe in your basket... That’s OK, right? MRS STICK Good morning, good morning!!! DAD Mrs Stick! You look... very well?! MOM How was your night in hospital? MRS STICK Ah, yes, the hospital... I was there for 10 minutes: it was just stress. You know, it’s not easy, living next door to people like you... MOM Of course... MRS STICK Since you were looking after Captain, I went to the Hotel Hawaii! Massages, hot tubs, mud baths, hula dancing... MRS STICK Did me the world of good! MRS STICK There’s a well-mannered cat for you! Not like some others I could mention... BILL At last! MRS STICK Huh?! Easy there! MRS STICK Captain! Why can’t you behave yourself, like you did at Bobby’s house? BILL Ahhh, peace and quiet once again...