ALIEN BRUCKMAN BUDDY DR_THEY FBI_AGENT HENCHMAN MAN_ON_PHONE MARTIN MRS_PEACOCK MULDER NARRATOR PANGBORN REGGIE SCULLY SKINNER WOMAN_ON_PHONE MARTIN I know you think I'm crazy. But it's not me. It's the world. The world's gone mad. Because... because Martians have invaded, but nobody seems to care! BUDDY Hey. Take it easy, Mister. Have a cup of joe. MARTIN I can't take it easy. I just saw one outside. BUDDY So, uh, tell me, what do these Martians look like? MARTIN They have giant heads and multiple appendages. BUDDY Yikes. And they're, uh, here to eat us or something? MARTIN No. They have a ray of some kind. That makes us forget. BUDDY Forget what? MARTIN There! I just saw one! BUDDY Where? MARTIN Outside through that window, I just saw one of them. BUDDY Hey, Mister, that ain't a window, that's a mirror. MARTIN What is this, some kind of sick joke, buddy? BUDDY Oh, it's no joke. And my name's not Buddy. MARTIN Wait, what? BUDDY MULDER Hello? SCULLY Mulder, it's me. Where have you been? I've been trying your cell all day. MULDER I was out squatchin'. SCULLY What? MULDER Bigfoot hunting. I had my phone turned off. SCULLY Did you have any luck? MULDER No. But that's not really the point. I just had to get away from the madness for a little while. It seems this past year all I've done is watch the news and worry that the country's gone insane. I had to get out to nature, you know, where it's simple and uncomplicated, where it's just you and the elements. And possibly a cryptozoological simian-like hairy humanoid with enormous feet. SCULLY I think you just like saying “squatchin'.” Are we still on for dinner tomorrow night? MULDER Yeah, I'll see you then. Hey, Scully, did I ever tell you about the time I found a sasquatch footprint in the mud? It was 35 years ago. SCULLY Uh, yeah, you did, I've heard this before. You've told me already, Mulder. I got to go, got to go. MULDER on the banks of the mighty Mogoagogo River in beautiful British Columbia- Scully? Scully? REGGIE Mulder. It's me. Now, I know you're surprised to see me. I thought we were all done after you know, that last case. I've stumbled on the conspiracy to to end all conspiracies. MULDER Who are you? REGGIE So they have already gotten to you. MULDER How did you know how to contact me? To meet here? REGGIE I. It had to be someplace safe. They they'd kill us if they had the chance. MULDER And who are “they”? REGGIE They are why you don't remember. Why aren't people getting probed by aliens anymore? You used to know, but they made you forget, so that you wouldn't remember me. MULDER Look, what is this all about? REGGIE Oh, my God. Look, there's no way for me to make you understand without me seeming like a crazy madman. MULDER It's a little late for that. I think your ride is here. REGGIE The first Twilight Zone episode you ever saw, it was “The Lost Martian”, right? You remember that? MULDER And if I do? REGGIE That Twilight Zone episode doesn't exist. It never did. Were you followed? Who is that? MULDER It'd be a hell of a twist if it were Rod Serling. Submitted for your approval. MULDER No, it's not in here either. SCULLY Mulder, what I don't understand is how this guy knew about your secret rendezvous signal? MULDER Who cares about any of that, Scully? I can't find “The Lost Martian.” Wh-When he said that that episode of The Twilight Zone didn't exist, that's when I knew he was a crazy person. It's a classic. So I came home, and checked my box DVD set, and it wasn't on there. I checked all my episode guide books. No mention of it. And I searched online. Nothing. So now I'm going through my tapes because I'm sure I recorded it at some point. SCULLY Well, maybe it's one of those other shows, like. Outer Limits or. MULDER Confuse The Twilight Zone with The Outer Limits? Do you even know me? SCULLY Can we talk about this over dinner, please. MULDER I'm not gonna be able to eat until I find this, ever again. SCULLY It can't be that good of an episode. MULDER It's-it's not about the episode, Scully, it's about my memory of seeing my first Twilight Zone. It changed me. You don't forget that. I was eight years old, my parents let me stay up 'til midnight because that was back in the day when it only aired, you know, late at night on some local channel. MULDER Wait, what? BUDDY And my name's not Buddy. MULDER Oh, now I get it. MULDER I remember it all so clearly, as if it just happened. REGGIE He stand you up again? SCULLY Uh, are you that guy that met with Mulder last night? REGGIE Uh, what gave it away, Skulls? SCULLY He mentioned the forehead sweat. REGGIE I need you to help me find someone. SCULLY Who? REGGIE Me. They. they're trying to erase me! Skulls, look- I-I can prove it. SCULLY I'm armed. Wh Wh-Where did you find this? REGGIE My fingerprints are on that box. Just prove that I'm real! SCULLY Wait! MULDER Let me- L-Let me, let me get this straight. Wh-When it cools, it forms into three different layers, with a different textures, all from the same mix? How has this never been an X-File? SCULLY I-I have such wonderful memories associated with it. I remember my mom making it. I remember family vacations over the summer holidays and Fourth of July, fireworks, America, God, love. MULDER That's some Jell-O. SCULLY I mean, just the cherry flavor. The lemon-lime tasted like leprechaun taint. But I-I have literally been looking for this for decades. But every time I look for Goop-O A-B-C, everyone says, "No, you must be thinking about Jell-O 1-2-3." MULDER It's the Mandela Effect. SCULLY What do you mean? MULDER When someone has a memory of something that's not shared by the majority or the factual record. For instance, there's some people that have a memory of seeing a movie called Shazaam starring Sinbad as an irrepressible genie, even after it's pointed out to them that they're probably thinking of a movie called Kazaam starring Shaquille O'Neal as an irrepressible genie, especially 'cause a movie called Shazaam was never made. SCULLY But what if I don't remember either movie? MULDER You win! SCULLY But, Mulder, isn't your false Twilight Zone memory also a Mandela Effect? MULDER No, because my false memory is real. SCULLY But again, how does this mystery guy, whose fingerprints came up with nothing, how does he even know about these-these secret memories of ours? MULDER You can ask him yourself tonight. I already taped an “X” to the window this morning. SCULLY But that's your secret rendezvous signal. I don't want to intrude. MULDER He clearly wants you involved, Scully. Come on, it'll be like a date. SCULLY Well, this is so romantic. MULDER Isn't it? SCULLY So who are you? REGGIE I think my name is Reggie. Reggie something. MULDER Well, Mr. Something, you want to tell us what this is all about? REGGIE Like all life-questioning revelations, it came to me while I was moving. Not myself, but my mother. And when unpacking her stuff, I came across a bunch of old things of mine she kept. Remembering my mom reading Dr. Wuzzle books to me is one of the fondest memories I have. But when I looked more closely at the book's cover. Well, that's when the woozle-wozzle-bloober- blubs really hit the fan. REGGIE Wait, what? REGGIE Because Dr. Wuzzle's name was spelled different than how I remembered. Not with two S's, but with two Z's. REGGIE What's happening? MULDER It's the Mandela Effect. REGGIE The what effect? MULDER The Mandela Effect. When someone has a memory that doesn't coincide with everybody else's or the facts. So named because some people have a memory of hearing that Nelson Mandela died in the '80s while imprisoned, when in fact, he died a free man in 2013. REGGIE No. It's called the “Mengele Effect” because people have a memory of Josef Mengele getting apprehended in Ohio in 1970. So, it's the Mengele Effect. MULDER The Mandela Effect has been an internet meme for almost a decade. It's always been called that. REGGIE Eh, see, you're having a Mengele Effect about the Mandela Effect. I should know because of how I found out about it. My search led me to a historical repository of vintage Americana. REGGIE Excuse me, do you have any old Dr. Wuzzle books? PANGBORN That's something somebody might actually want, so no. I do have something over in the “political shame” section that might interest you. Uh, it's a cartoon that Dr. Wuzzle drew back in 1940. REGGIE Damn it, it's still wrong! PANGBORN Easy, easy! If you're gonna break something, use the Evel Knievel doll. It'll make it more authentic. REGGIE What. No, I'm sorry. I-It. I remember his name being spelled in a different way. PANGBORN Oh, boy. Sounds like somebody's suffering from the Mengele Effect. REGGIE See, it's called the Mengele Effect. MULDER That doesn’t' prove anything. REGGIE Trust me. Okay, I've done a lot of research into this since then. And the shop owner himself was a bit of an expert on the topic. PANGBORN Oh, it all started a couple years ago. People coming in looking for some fondly remembered item from their past. And I'd show it to them, but there's always something just a little off. And they'd be like, “No, I remember the logo being racist in a different way." It's like everybody's recall is just a little out of whack. REGGIE Yeah, yeah. PANGBORN And I think the government knows about it. REGGIE What what do you mean? PANGBORN Oh, come on, the government always knows more than they let on. For instance, do you think that the government didn't know, when this stuff was being sold back in the '70s, that it wasn't full of carcinogens? They know the truth about the Mengele Effect. REGGIE That's when I launched my own investigation into the phenomenon. The Mengele Effect is being intentionally orchestrated by someone. SCULLY Who? And to what end? REGGIE For the simple reasons Orwell said "He who controls the past, controls the future." The ability to manipulate memory creates unlimited power - political, economical, cultural. It runs the gamut from Holocaust denial to corporate product recognition. There are companies who are willing to pay anything, do anything, to have people forget that their products explode on impact, or suddenly catch fire. C-Companies like are spending billions in profit to repress these memories. The only thing I haven't been able to do is to figure out how they're doing it. SCULLY They can't. I-I'm sorry, but this is ridiculous. I mean, the Mandela Effect is si. REGGIE It's the Mengele effect, guys. It's the Mengele effect, just say it. SCULLY Is simply people misremembering stuff. MULDER But maybe... this is actually evidence of a parallel universe. REGGIE Wait, what? SCULLY Wait, what? MULDER So maybe th-these differences in collective memories are actually evidence of-of our universe somehow becoming intertwined with another, if not identical, then very similar universe. So people's memories are correct, they're just remembering something that happened in another dimension. Hence, the discrepancies. That's science, Scully. SCULLY Theoretical science, at best, Mulder. REGGIE Yeah, we're not gonna do this parallel universe sci-fi gobbledygook, nerd boy, okay? So just, please, drop it. Because that crap gives me a headache. MULDER It's a lot better than some evil entity zapping people's brains with a hypno-ray gun. REGGIE I never mentioned a hypno-ray gun. SCULLY Guys, it's faulty memory because Occam's razor. REGGIE That's “Ozzie's razor,” not Occam's. It's always been Ozzie's razor. MULDER Maybe in a parallel universe it is, but in still yet another universe, it's perhaps known as “Occam's axe.” REGGIE It's not parallel universes! SCULLY It's not parallel universes! REGGIE Now look, since I'm the only one with any proof of this insidious plot. MULDER What proof? You've yet to offer any proof. REGGIE Proof is in the fact that once I uncovered what they were up to, they turned the Mengele Effect on me. Just- Look. It's my high school yearbook my mom kept, right. There is not a single picture of me in here. Anywhere. There's not any inscriptions from my classmates here. No “have a great summer,” you were funny in math class. Nothing. It's like I never even went to this school. MULDER Maybe you did but in a parallel universe. REGGIE Exactly- Knock that off. SCULLY Reggie, none of us remember our high school years with much accuracy. REGGIE Skulls, I wish this was about my own psychological issues. That way, the memorabilia shop owner would still be alive. When I went back to tell him about the conspiracy to manipulate memory, and to see if he had those little- Do you guys remember the little candies that were shaped like watermelon slices, but they taste like coconut? REGGIE When I went back, they had silenced him. REGGIE REGGIE They had impaled him with a lawn dart. SCULLY I'm sorry, but what's a lawn dart? REGGIE Oh, it's this kid's game, where you would try to throw these mini-metallic javelins into the air onto these rings that you put on a lawn. SCULLY And they sold these to kids? MULDER We were made of sterner stuff back then, Scully. SCULLY Well, it just sounds like an accidental death to me. REGGIE No! No, that's what they want you to believe! SCULLY Sounds like your ride's here. REGGIE You're not. She thinks I'm just some kind of conspiracy nut. Well, you know what, a conspiracy nut is right twice a day. No, that's a broken clock. Okay, it still applies because they want you to think all conspiracies are nutty, so you will ignore the ones that are true. MULDER Reggie, take it from a fellow nut, okay? At some point, you're gonna have to explain who “they” are. You keep on referring to this omnipresent, mysterious “they” to give intentionality to random events, or external explanations for psychological ones. But there's no “they” there. Who is “they”? REGGIE This guy. He is They! NARRATOR This is a story of a man named “They.” Dr. Thaddeus Q. They, a neuroscientist who has discovered a way to manipulate collective memory. Most people have never heard of him. Or rather, they have, but he's manipulated their memories to make them forget that they ever have. While working on NASA's top secret “Operation Soy Bomb,” involving future, one-way space flights beyond our realm, Dr. They devised a technique to change specific memories, which would allow astronauts to complete their mission, without being weighed down by thoughts of life back on Earth. However, Dr. They was fired for also making the astronauts think that they were chimpanzees. He perfected his research while at the U.S. University Hospital in Grenada, and now applies his method for a number of unknown, mysterious clients. His memory manipulations have run the gamut, from holocaust denial to corporate product recognition to making people forget he, himself, once starred as an irrepressible genie in a movie called Ka-Blaam. Dr. They has not been heard for many years, but rumors swirled that he was at the last Presidential Inauguration, where, amongst the hundreds of millions who attended, he was seen occupying the last remaining seat available. And as to his motivations for being there, and what exactly he is up to now, we have no way of knowing. Or perhaps we once did, but have since been made to forget. SCULLY What the hell was that? MULDER That video was unbelievable. REGGIE You want to hear unbelievable, check out some of these comments. “I think the editing could have been tighter.” This jerk just says, “Meh.” When I stumbled across this on the dark net, I tried to confirm as much of it as I could, but I was only able to verify the most important part- the Grenada thing. SCULLY That was the most important part? REGGIE Tell me, Little Miss Skeptic, why did we invade Grenada? SCULLY Um. When was that again? MULDER There was a Marxist overthrow of the government, and Reagan was concerned about some U.S. students at a university hospital. REGGIE Okay. Now you're just. MULDER What? REGGIE You're just embarrassing yourself at this point. Those were the official reasons, but no one really remembers the reasons, not even me, and I was there! I found this amongst my mom's stuff. I wrote it when I was in Grenada, when I was 18, to be read when I turned 50. MULDER “To myself at age 50. Always remember.” And the rest of the letter is redacted. SCULLY Who redacted it? REGGIE I think I did when I wrote it. It was meant as kind of a joke, but I mean, that kind of stuff was funny when to me when I was a kid. MULDER Okay, what does this prove? REGGIE You're missing the most important part. MULDER Oh. A Grenada UFO stamp. REGGIE Yeah. SCULLY What's that? MULDER The Prime Minister of Grenada once advocated in front of the U.N. for the creation of a department of UFO research. He-he issued these stamps to raise money for that effort. After he was deposed, he confessed that a UFO had crashed off their coast, and a dead alien had been recovered from the waters. REGGIE Correct, except for one detail. The alien wasn't dead! I was a med student at the hospital. They brought in this semi-conscious alien, and Dr. They was put in charge of saving it. The alien had been sent to Earth to warn us about the holes in the ozone layer. He said one of his people would return in 35 years to see if we had managed to avoid environmental catastrophe. REGGIE REGGIE Now I only caught glimpses of their conversation. The two of them talked alien telepathically. ALIEN I will telepathically transfer to you all our knowledge of what you call “the brain.” REGGIE But that's when the invasion occurred, and the men from the government showed up. ALIEN Wait, what? REGGIE I don't know if I repressed the memory or Dr. They erased my mind, but seeing that stamp, it all came flooding back to me. SCULLY Now we're dealing with recovered memories? I-I'm sorry. I'm out. MULDER Reggie, what you told us is theoretically possible, but more likely in another universe. REGGIE The one thing I didn't forget was the telepathic screams of that alien. ALIEN REGGIE I wanted to know where the men from the government took him. That's when I dropped out of med school, joined the FBI. And that's how I started the X-Files. That's right. We used to be partners! MULDER Yeah, Mulder. REGGIE Foxy. MULDER Oh, hey Reggie, what's up? REGGIE I got this really cool poster for the office, man. I think you're gonna flip over it. MULDER Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI's most unwanted. REGGIE Move along, sugar boobs, this is the X-Files. No women allowed. REGGIE That guy is so creepy. BRUCKMAN And changes world history. And then Columbus never discovers America. Man never lands on the moon. The U.S. never invades Grenada. REGGIE Wait, wait, wait, wait. What's this about Grenada? REGGIE Guys, if this turns out to be killer cats, I'm gonna be very disappointed. MRS PEACOCK SCULLY She's their mother. REGGIE Wait, if she's their mother how can she be their. Oh, boy. SCULLY Uh. REGGIE All those memories. You guys mean to tell me you don't remember any of that? Not even our last case together? This is the Mengele Effect in action! Dr. They is using it against us because he knows that we are the only team capable of stopping him. SCULLY There is no Dr. They. REGGIE Really?! Well, tell that to his henchmen. He sent more of them. SCULLY fbi. FBI AGENT fbi. MULDER What are you doing here? FBI AGENT You don't know? The legend that I've heard so much about would've already figured out who this guy was that you've been talking to, and why we were asked to find out why you are. But I guess that's how things go you start out a rebel, but then, you get fat. And the next thing you know you're deep state. Sad. MULDER Do you know who I am? I'm Fox Mulder. I was fighting the power and breaking conspiracies before you saw your first chemtrail, you punks. I'm Fox freaking Mulder, you punks! I'm Fox Mulder! Fox Mulder! MULDER father. there. Reggie. this guy. To Bob Dylan, whose '98 Grammy performance is remembered by millions because a half-naked man with the words "soy bomb" written on his chest jumped on stage and started dancing like a spazz. But no official video of the incident exists. Did it even happen? Seven years later, the band Eels releases a song "Whatever happened to Soy Bomb?" A coded message? Especially because the band's lead singer, the son of Hugh Everett III, who originated the many-worlds interpretation of quantum physics and- I'm right back to parallel universes again. It's true, Scully, I've lost the plot. I can't find the hidden connections between things anymore. The world's become too crazy for even my conspiratorial powers. SCULLY Maybe you've just lost your taste for it, especially after all this “birther” stuff. MULDER Maybe. Maybe it's just realizing the absurdity of an evil doctor named “They.” Mulder. When? Where? SCULLY Who was that? MULDER Dr. They. MULDER Dr. They, I presume? DR THEY Kids today don't even know what this means. Why should they? I mean, when's the last time someone admitted doing something they were ashamed of? Even if caught on tape doing it, they just say, "Well, that was taken out of context." MULDER But why are you shaming me? DR THEY Someone who's spent his life seeking the truth behind every great conspiracy, and you're only now finding out about me? MULDER Uh, perhaps it just goes to show how good you are at hiding in the shadows. DR THEY Who's hiding? I'm in the phone book. But nobody knows what's a phone book anymore. MULDER I have to admit, what little I know of you, I got from a rather dubious online video. DR THEY Oh. Did you like that? I made it. It's my new platform- “phony fake news.” It's a presentation of real facts, but in a way that assures no one will believe any of it. MULDER To what end? DR THEY The bitter end. Which is why, when I became aware that you were finally aware of me, I felt a professional courtesy to meet with you and to tell you this in person You're dead. Oh, that came out wrong. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I meant your time, Agent Mulder. Your time has passed. MULDER Okay. So what is--or what was- “my time”? DR THEY Well, it's a time when people of power thought that they could keep their secrets secret, and were willing to do anything to keep it that way. Those days are passed. Gone. We're now living in a post-cover-up, post-conspiracy age. N-No doubt, the kids will come up with some catch phrase for it. “Po-Co” or something. They'll say, “Oh, that's so Po-Co.” It'll make you wish you really were dead. MULDER As long as the truth gets out. DR THEY They don't really care whether the truth gets out because the public no longer knows what's meant by “the truth.” MULDER What do you mean? DR THEY Well, I mean, no one can tell the difference anymore between what's real and what's fake. MULDER There's still an objective truth, an objective reality. DR THEY So what? I mean, you take this Mandela Effect. Well, in the old days, I would never have come out and admitted to you, that yes, I can change people's collective memories. And that would have meant that I could control the past. And if that's true- Well, as Orson Welles once said “He who controls the past, controls the future.” MULDER It was George Orwell that said that. DR THEY Well, for now maybe. Anyway, the point is, I can tell you all of this, right out in the open, because it doesn't matter who knows about it. They won't know whether to believe it or not. MULDER To be honest, I'm not believing any of this. DR THEY Well, believe what you want to believe, that's what everybody does nowadays anyway. You're only proving my point, you twit. But, full disclosure, you're right. I can't control people's minds. Although, it turns out, you don't really have to. All you need is some people to think it's possible. And then you've sown the seeds of uncertainty. All you really need is a laptop. MULDER So that's what this has all been about? The spread of online disinformation? DR THEY Maybe. You know, our current President once said something truly profound. He said, “Nobody knows for sure.” MULDER What was he referring to? DR THEY What does it matter? REGGIE Mulder! MULDER Ahh! How the hell did you get in here? REGGIE Foxy, what did you find out from They? MULDER I'm not exactly sure what to think about any of it. REGGIE Oh, God. What did They do to you? Look, that's exactly what they want you to think about everything. MULDER First thing I need to do is find out who you are. SCULLY His name is Reginald Murgatroid. Using your yearbook, I tracked down your high school transcripts. You only spent a few weeks there, and you didn't graduate. But after completing your G.E.D., you enlisted in the Army and participated in the invasion of Grenada, where one of the resistance soldiers slash construction workers hit you on the head with a shovel. You received medical assistance at the U.S. university hospital there. After your stint in the military, you engaged in a series of bureaucratic jobs in various federal agencies. Starting with the U.S. Postal Service. Then the Internal Revenue Service. The Security and Exchange Commission. REGGIE SCULLY And the Department of Justice, specifically in the Witness Protection Agency. REGGIE All right, Anthony “The Meat Grinder” Mortillaro, one time hitman for the mob, you are now Tony Jones, real estate agent. SCULLY But after 9/11, you joined the C.I.A. And then onto The Pentagon with the Department of Defense. REGGIE Boom goes the dynamite! Wait. Is that a wedding cake? Damn it, not again! Oh, well, time for lunch. SCULLY But your longest stint was at the NSA, The National Security Agency. MAN ON PHONE So you actually voted for him? WOMAN ON PHONE Yeah. He's gonna drain the swamp. Get all those Goldman Sachs people out of the White House. MULDER Hey, Scully, did I ever tell you the time I found a Sasquatch footprint in the mud? SCULLY Ah, yeah, you did, I've heard this before. MULDER It was 35 years ago about, on the banks of the mighty Mogoagogo River. REGGIE It was on the banks of the Mogoagogo River. SCULLY Until about a year ago, when you were committed to a mental institution because you'd had a nervous breakdown. REGGIE Wait what? MULDER Or perhaps it's merely the culmination of disillusionment of a man who simply wanted to spend his life in service of the country that he loved, but began to feel tormented by the idea that he was betraying its very ideals. And so, using information- apparently gathered through illegal warrantless wiretaps- you escaped into a fantasy, where you imagined that you joined a team that still did what America was meant to do--fight for truth and justice. REGGIE Or I'm from a parallel universe, and I jumped dimensions- No, that's stupid. Right? Sorry. Stupid. SCULLY Mm-hmm. REGGIE Well, looks like my ride is here. Hey, guys. Uh, you remember what I said last time about if you wanted me to come along peacefully? HENCHMAN Aw, Mr. Murgatroid, it demeans all of us. REGGIE No. No, it gives us a touch of classicism. HENCHMAN Mm. REGGIE So you remember how, uh, crazy people used to be portrayed as thinking they were Napoleon? When did that stop? Maybe it's another Mengele Effect. Right? Well, uh, take care, guys. Stay sane. And, um, good luck with the rest of your cases. MULDER Reggie. Our last case together, what happened? REGGIE We found the truth that's out there. I'd suddenly recalled the Alien at Grenada's declaration that one of his kind would return to Earth 35 years later. Foxy's crazy intuition of the uncanny lead him to figure out the location of the visitation. Scully drove. MULDER There it is! Is that what I think it is? REGGIE It's the gold record. Yup. It's the Voyager, what's left of it. ALIEN Greetings, Earthlings. I come before you as a representative of the Intergalatic Union of Sentient Beings From All Known Universes and Beyond. We have been observing your species for many, what you call, years. Our study is now complete. We no longer wish to have any further contact with you. We have returned your music sampler, but will no longer tolerate any further efforts on your part to venture beyond your realm. We are building a wall. It will be a beautiful, albeit invisible, electromagnetic wall that will subatomically incinerate any probes you attempt to send beyond your solar system. You are free to explore Uranus all you want. But we can't allow your kind to infiltrate the rest of the cosmos. You're not sending us your best people. You're bringing drugs. You're bringing crime. You're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people, but we have no choice. Believe me. For although the rest of the galaxies all have their share of these same problems, we fear you could infect us with the one trait that is unique to Earthlings. You lie. To show there are no hard feelings, we've compiled a compendium of answers to any questions you might still have regarding anything. Good luck and good riddance. Bing bing bong bong bing. MULDER So that's the truth? We're not alone in the universe, but nobody likes us. SCULLY It's okay, Mulder. There'll always be more X-Files. MULDER No. They gave us all the answers to everything, even Sasquatch. No! It's not true! It can't be! Ugh! REGGIE It's time to face the facts, guys. This is the end of The X-files. But maybe the point wasn't to find the truth, but to find each other. For no matter where we go in our lives, we will always have the memories of our time together, and no one can take those away or alter them in such a way to make us doubt that they actually happened. SCULLY Oh, Reggie. I've always. REGGIE Shh I know. I know. REGGIE And as we now know, they lived happily ever after. MULDER We'll be sure to come visit you, Reggie. REGGIE No, you won't. SKINNER Where the hell are they taking Reggie? MARTIN Wait, what? BUDDY MULDER Mm. SCULLY So you found your lost episode? MULDER Turns out it wasn't a Twilight Zone after all. It was a knockoff show called The Dusky Realm, which is now lost for the ages. SCULLY Couldn't find anything to set it in, so I used your bigfoot impression as a mold. MULDER Oh, no, wait, you first. It could be the lemon-lime. SCULLY I want to remember how it was. I want to remember how it all was.