CAVEMAN JASMINE MAN_1 MAN_2 MAN_3 POLICE_1 POLICE_2 URBAN_TARZAN WOMAN URBAN TARZAN Coming up on Urban Tarzan… MR. DHIRI The cobra was here. CAVEMAN Yo, T, this thing's a lot bigger than 10 feet. URBAN TARZAN Yo, where is it? Where is it? Whoa. Whoa. He got me, man. MAN 1 I lost a zebra. URBAN TARZAN Yo, there he is, there he is. CAVEMAN Hold him tight, bro, hold him tight. URBAN TARZAN Don't come too close. CAVEMAN A lion in the L.A. River? Somebody's gotta be seeing things. URBAN TARZAN There he is! There he is! He's up on the bridge! CAVEMAN Holy . URBAN TARZAN This is the craziest thing I've ever seen. When wild and exotic animals get out of control or show up where they don't belong, I get the call for help. I'm Urban Tarzan, wild animal relocation specialist, with over 20 years experience capturing and relocating the most dangerous animals on the planet. URBAN TARZAN Animals are my passion. I'll even risk my own life to save them. And when things heat up, I count on my partner, Caveman, a reptile expert, and over 300 pounds of persuasion. CAVEMAN Back up. URBAN TARZAN Most people have no business handling exotic animals. What is he drinking? WOMAN Cough syrup. URBAN TARZAN Are you nuts? They can call the authorities or they can call us. CAVEMAN Yo, man. I had some horrible sleep last night, man. I was having a nightmare all night. Kept waking me up. URBAN TARZAN 'Bout what? CAVEMAN Some weirdo was chasing me with a catch pole, trying to get me in a crate. URBAN TARZAN That's common, kid. That's, like, an anxiety dream you're having. I had one too. CAVEMAN Yeah? What was it? URBAN TARZAN I had a dream that I was chasing you with a catch pole, trying to get you into a crate. CAVEMAN URBAN TARZAN Yo, man, this goat peed everywhere in here. This is nasty. CAVEMAN Yeah, it is. URBAN TARZAN Ugh… CAVEMAN That's why my mom always said, pee before you get in the car. URBAN TARZAN Yeah. JASMINE Hey, guys, sergeant just called. Someone reported a lion running up and down the L.A. River near the Glendale overpass. URBAN TARZAN A mountain lion? JASMINE An African male lion. CAVEMAN Get outta here. URBAN TARZAN It's probably a false alarm, but we'll definitely check it out. JASMINE Okay. CAVEMAN Yo, I'll go get the trailer. Meet me outside with the van. URBAN TARZAN All right. Call back and tell him that we're going over to check it out. JASMINE All right, I'm on it. URBAN TARZAN We work closely with our contacts at the police department. Since animal control isn't trained to handle big exotics, the police rely on our expertise for these kinds of situations. CAVEMAN Yo, a lion in the L.A. River? Somebody's gotta be seeing things, man. URBAN TARZAN Bro, bet you a doughnut it's just a dog. CAVEMAN All right, I'll take that bet. URBAN TARZAN Here's where she said it was spotted. Glendale Boulevard and the river. Let's do this, let's check this out, Caveman. CAVEMAN Where do you think this thing would be? URBAN TARZAN There would be a million places for any predator to hide here. This place is full of coyotes and bobcats. That's probably what somebody saw. This is pretty awesome down here, man. Another day in the concrete jungle. Yo, if there was a lion down here, it was probably somebody's exotic pet that they couldn't afford the upkeep, and then they just dumped him. Someone would have to be crazy to release a lion, but we've seen animal owners make plenty of bad choices. A male lion can cost up to $10,000 a year to feed and house. It's sad, but in this economy, exotic pets being dumped by their owners is a growing problem. Hey, guys, you see a lion around here anywhere? URBAN TARZAN They said, "no." CAVEMAN Yeah. URBAN TARZAN He could be anywhere. I mean… CAVEMAN This is what's making me nervous right here. Stuff's so thick you would never even see him. URBAN TARZAN Oh… Ducks flying away. They're getting spooked by something. URBAN TARZAN Yo, what was that? CAVEMAN I don't know. URBAN TARZAN You hear it? I hear it. CAVEMAN I hear something. URBAN TARZAN Watch your back. Those bushes right there. Bro. Are you kidding me? You getting this? CAVEMAN Come on, guys, get a doghouse. URBAN TARZAN We just interrupted two dogs. CAVEMAN Guess they're sort of lion-colored. URBAN TARZAN Bro, we ain't gonna run into no lion here. CAVEMAN Yeah, but the good news is we're not gonna run into a lion here. URBAN TARZAN Let's get outta here. I knew that it was unlikely that we would find an African lion in the L.A. River, but we have to follow up on these leads because of the threat it could pose to the public or the animal. Let's go do a real job. CAVEMAN Yeah. I guess I owe you a doughnut. URBAN TARZAN I'll take an eclair, bro. CAVEMAN Nah, no, no, no. The bet was for a doughnut. Eclair's, like, twice as much. URBAN TARZAN CAVEMAN Yo, what's up, Jasmine? JASMINE Hey, guys, this day is turning out to be ridiculous. We just got a call a snake charming act lost their cobra in an Indian restaurant. URBAN TARZAN It's a king cobra? JASMINE Yeah, they said a king cobra, T. URBAN TARZAN All right, send us the address. JASMINE All right, guys. Be careful. CAVEMAN King cobra, man. Makes me nervous, bro. I'll take this one myself, man. URBAN TARZAN Nah, that's all right. CAVEMAN No? URBAN TARZAN I've gotta do this, man. This is my job. Two years ago, I was bitten by a cobra and had to be airlifted to a hospital. They didn't have the right antivenom, so I fell into a coma and almost died. My family came to visit me for what they thought was the last time. Thankfully, I survived. To be honest, facing this king cobra today makes me a little nervous. At least I know my partner Caveman's got my back. We gotta run by the office and grab antivenom. CAVEMAN Yeah. A lot. URBAN TARZAN Yo, be careful, Caveman, all right? CAVEMAN Oh, I know, man. I'm on high alert right now. URBAN TARZAN Yo, grab the big hook. CAVEMAN Definitely. URBAN TARZAN Just in case. CAVEMAN You never know. URBAN TARZAN Yo, be careful, brother, all right? Are you the owner? You called about the cobra? MR. DHIRI Please, please, come in. URBAN TARZAN This is where the snake got out of? MR. DHIRI Last night, the cobra was here, but this morning, when I came here, I don't know where he's gone, I don't understand. URBAN TARZAN Caveman, do a big sweep. So it's been gone since last night? CAVEMAN All right, yo, just stay away from the tables right now. Gotta make sure they're clear underneath. Even though I got a lot of experience handling snakes, seeing that empty cobra tank is sending chills down my spine. King cobras can grow up to 20 feet long, but they could still squeeze into incredibly tight places and see their prey 300 feet away. If we're gonna make it out of here alive, we gotta be on our toes. URBAN TARZAN How big is it? MR. DHIRI It was like 10--10 feet long. URBAN TARZAN Is it a male? Is it female? MR. DHIRI Yeah, it's male. It's male. URBAN TARZAN You got staff here still? MR. DHIRI I have a big party tonight. URBAN TARZAN We gotta get the staff outta here. They gotta get outta here. MR. DHIRI But I cannot afford to close. You're gonna cost me a lot of money, sir! URBAN TARZAN Know what's gonna cost you a lot of money? Their funeral. This snake could kill everybody. Do you understand that? Listen, you guys gotta get outta here. Please, out. Just gotta get out, man. Loose cobra, you really have to get outta here. One--yeah, come on, quick, quick, quick, quick. Let's go, unless you enjoy paralysis and respiratory failure, come on. Go. CAVEMAN Yo, T. The room's cleared, all the tablecloths are up. We can see the whole floor. URBAN TARZAN All right, man, just do a thorough sweep of the whole place. CAVEMAN Most snakes are usually shy and scared of people. They'll try to get away any time they can, but if they're cornered and they run out of options, they will strike. URBAN TARZAN I can't believe he was gonna have an event here. Or that he was even open. People don't use their heads. CAVEMAN . Yo, T! URBAN TARZAN Yo! CAVEMAN This thing's a lot bigger than 10 feet, and it's staring right at me. It's definitely a king. It's got the occipital scales at the top of its head. URBAN TARZAN Yo, where is it? Where is it? CAVEMAN This hook's way too big for this shelf, man. URBAN TARZAN Hey, hey, hey, use this one--use that one. Oh, that sucker is big, man! CAVEMAN He's underneath this other shelf. It's going fast, bro. URBAN TARZAN Come on, come on. King cobras prefer to avoid confrontation, and would rather escape than strike. CAVEMAN Aw, , T, there's a hole in the wall. URBAN TARZAN Gimme the hook! CAVEMAN He's going in. URBAN TARZAN Yo! Go get the screw top. CAVEMAN All right. URBAN TARZAN We need to capture the snake before it finds a way out of the building. The more we corner it, the more aggressive it becomes. CAVEMAN Yo, is something moving that bag of lettuce? URBAN TARZAN Yo, yo, move that aside. CAVEMAN Oh, . URBAN TARZAN There it is! There it is! CAVEMAN Whoa. URBAN TARZAN Whoa, back up, Caveman. Keep--keep--just keep that right there. CAVEMAN Yup. URBAN TARZAN Thank you. CAVEMAN You got it, brother. URBAN TARZAN Get that top off. CAVEMAN I'm ready. URBAN TARZAN One beautiful snake. I don't want to rely on my snake tongs because they might hurt the cobra. CAVEMAN Whoa, whoa, whoa. URBAN TARZAN I'm looking for a chance to reach in with my hand and grab it behind the neck, which would let me control it. CAVEMAN Careful, bro. URBAN TARZAN This sucker's hooded, boy. It's safer for the snake, but it puts my hands closer to its fangs. Yo! It got me, man. Coming up on Urban Tarzan… MAN 1 I lost a zebra. URBAN TARZAN How do you lose a zebra? There he is, there he is. Watch your back, Caveman! CAVEMAN Yah! URBAN TARZAN What the hell was that? URBAN TARZAN Whoa! Yo! What are you--is somebody shooting at us? URBAN TARZAN Two years ago, I was bitten by a cobra and spent two days in a coma. I almost died. Now I'm trying to capture another one without getting sent back to the hospital. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. He got me, man. CAVEMAN URBAN TARZAN Come on, we gotta get this thing. CAVEMAN Yeah, yeah. Get him quick, man. You all right, bro? URBAN TARZAN Yeah, man, get that ready. Hold on, hold on! I don't got him good enough! Hold on. Got him. CAVEMAN All right. URBAN TARZAN Get him in there. Come on, man, we gotta move a little quicker. All right, watch your hands. Ready? One, two, three. CAVEMAN Yeah. URBAN TARZAN Dude, she definitely envenomed me, man. Not again, not again, not again, not again. CAVEMAN All right, bro, here. Come here. Sit down. I'm gonna go get the med kit. Wrap your arm up nice and tight to slow down the venom, and then I'll hit you with the first dose of antivenom. URBAN TARZAN All right, man. All right. CAVEMAN All right? All right. Stay relaxed. Calm down. Keeping T calm is a priority. The slower his heart pumps, the slower the venom will move through his system. URBAN TARZAN Dude, it was so quick, man. CAVEMAN A king cobra bite could kill a human in as little as 15 minutes. Gimme your hand. URBAN TARZAN It's starting to swell up already. CAVEMAN All right, just relax. We carry our own supply of antivenom for just this type of emergency. All right, we'll get you to the hospital, get you on an IV right away, and they can hit you with the rest of the antivenom. So, let's get outta here. Having the antivenom on hand saved T's life today. The drug neutralized the venom before it could spread through his body and shut down his nervous system. He'll stay in the hospital for a few days, but he should make a full recovery. CAVEMAN Yo. JASMINE Hey, guys, we got a zebra loose in the woods. CAVEMAN Zebra? JASMINE The guys who were transporting it somehow they lost it out of the trailer. URBAN TARZAN How do you lose a zebra out of a livestock trailer? JASMINE Honestly, they sounded like they didn't really know what they were doing. URBAN TARZAN No, really? JASMINE I'll text you the map. URBAN TARZAN All right, we're on our way. CAVEMAN Later. JASMINE Alright, bye. CAVEMAN A zebra in the woods, man. This should be a pretty fun one. We don't get that many zebra calls. URBAN TARZAN A little advice. Watch this animal's ears, okay? That'll tell you everything. Ears are back means back up, jack. CAVEMAN All right. Ears are forward--what rhymes with "forward"? URBAN TARZAN & CAVEMAN URBAN TARZAN This is nothing to take lightly. This thing will kick your damn head off. CAVEMAN Look, there they are right there. URBAN TARZAN What's up, fellas? CAVEMAN Hey. MAN 1 Hey, what's going on, guys? URBAN TARZAN What happened? MAN 1 I lost a zebra. URBAN TARZAN How did it get out? MAN 1 We were trying to impress a couple girls. We opened the thing, and the thing took off. URBAN TARZAN Why did you even have a zebra? MAN 1 I got a collector in Santa Barbara that paid me cash to go to a small zoo and pick it up and bring it to him. URBAN TARZAN All right, which way did he go? MAN 1 That way, right through the brush, and that was the last we saw of him. URBAN TARZAN All right, I'm just gonna get some gear. CAVEMAN They don't know nothing, T. URBAN TARZAN Well no, obviously. CAVEMAN These two guys clearly need some advice on how to pick up women, but we don't have time to stay and chat. This zebra's already got a head start, and with a top speed of up to 40 miles an hour, we're gonna have to act quickly if we're gonna catch up to him. How long ago did this thing escape? MAN 1 35 minutes ago. URBAN TARZAN All right. CAVEMAN Let's do it. MAN 2 Damn zebra. URBAN TARZAN You got your carrots? CAVEMAN I got 'em. URBAN TARZAN Carrots are a great tool to lure any grazing animal because they're similar to the roots they love to eat. While the zebra's distracted by the food, I'll try and slip a lariat around its neck before it has the chance to punt either of us across the woods. Yo, hoofprints. He definitely came through here. CAVEMAN All right. URBAN TARZAN Yo, there he is. There he is. It's quiet. CAVEMAN All right, lead the way, bro. I'm right behind ya. URBAN TARZAN All right. Never go behind him, Caveman. CAVEMAN Yup. URBAN TARZAN Be quiet though. Be quiet though. Okay, Caveman, get out the carrots and walk around to his front. I'll try and toss this lariat on him. URBAN TARZAN Whoa! Yo! The hell was that? URBAN TARZAN Yo, is somebody shooting at us? Coming up on Urban Tarzan… He's bucking. Watch your back, Caveman! CAVEMAN Yah! URBAN TARZAN Let's find this cat before he finds us. POLICE 1 Stop! Drop your weapon and step away from the animal! URBAN TARZAN Caveman and I have tracked down a zebra that escaped at a highway rest stop. But before I could get my lariat around its head… URBAN TARZAN Whoa! Yo! All hell broke loose. What are you--is somebody shooting at us? URBAN TARZAN Sounded like it was over this way. Yo, there's people over here! CAVEMAN There, there. URBAN TARZAN Yo, look at the smoke. Yo! What are youse doin', shootin' guns? MAN 3 They're not--it's not a gun, man, relax. It's just M80s. What the hell's your problem? URBAN TARZAN Bro, come on. We're up here trying to catch this animal. MAN 3 And we're down here trying to blow some up. Why don't you get the outta here? Let us do our thing, dude. URBAN TARZAN Why don't I have Caveman come down there and he'll do his thing? CAVEMAN I got no problem with that. MAN 3 All right, man. All right. URBAN TARZAN Thank you. Come on, Caveman, let's do this. CAVEMAN The stuff we gotta put up with… Now where do you think it went? URBAN TARZAN He probably ran back to Africa. There he is. See him? Right there. CAVEMAN Yeah, yeah, yeah. URBAN TARZAN After being startled, the zebra is on edge and isn't likely to go for food, so we're moving on to plan B. Yo, yo, go that way. Go right. Flank him on the right side. Maybe it'll drive him towards me. Caveman will circle the zebra, drive the animal toward me, and I'll rope it with my lariat. CAVEMAN Come on! Yah! Yah! Come on! Let's go, zebra! URBAN TARZAN He's bucking. Watch your back, Caveman! CAVEMAN Yah! URBAN TARZAN Flank him on the right. Flank him on the right. CAVEMAN Over here! Yah! Yah! URBAN TARZAN Not bad for a kid from the Bronx, ah, Caveman? CAVEMAN Nice job, brother, nice job. URBAN TARZAN Whoa, don't come too close. CAVEMAN Hold him tight, bro, hold him tight. URBAN TARZAN I'm just gonna make a rope halter. Easy, boy. CAVEMAN Oh, beautiful. Beautiful job, bro. URBAN TARZAN All right. Yo, Caveman, get one of those carrots out. Come on, let him take a bite. All right, watch your hands. Watch your hands. CAVEMAN Good boy. URBAN TARZAN Okay, let's get him in the trailer. CAVEMAN Come on, you want more? URBAN TARZAN Come on, yeah. Good. CAVEMAN Need some ranch dressing. URBAN TARZAN Good zebra. Come on, buddy. Come on, come on. Good boy. MAN 1 Thanks, man. MAN 2 Thanks, fellas. URBAN TARZAN Hey, no more stops. Just get him to where he's gotta go. MAN 1 Got you, man. Appreciate it. Thank you, guys. MAN 2 Thanks a lot. URBAN TARZAN I'm glad we were able to get this majestic creature back into its trailer safe and sound, but honestly, I would've felt better if I put those guys in the trailer and let the zebra drive. URBAN TARZAN We got a call from sergeant about the lion again? JASMINE Yeah, actually, there's been a couple more sightings from where you guys checked before. CAVEMAN Hey, let's go check it out, bro. URBAN TARZAN I'm still skeptical about there being a lion down at the river, but with this many sightings, it's gotta be something. If there is a lion down there, we need to find it before it poses a threat to human life and the police have to put it down. URBAN TARZAN Grab your tranq gun. Maybe there is a lion. It's unlikely, but exotic pets being dumped by their owners is a growing problem. Yo, I'm gonna take the chicken necks and chicken hearts in the bait bag. Ultimately, it'd be nice to lure him back into the trailer. If we really do discover an African lion, we're gonna use his incredible sense of smell to bait him into our trailer. If he don't go for the food, we'll have to sedate him. Using the tranq gun always carries a risk of injury to an animal, so we're hoping to find a hungry lion today, just not too hungry. Let's find this cat before he finds us. URBAN TARZAN There's wildlife all around here. CAVEMAN Oh, yeah. I'm not seein' nothin', bro. URBAN TARZAN Yo, there he is! There he is! There he is! He's up on the bridge! CAVEMAN Holy . URBAN TARZAN Yo, I've seen a lot, man. This is the craziest thing I've ever seen. He's coming down. Don't move, don't move, don't move. CAVEMAN Yo, that's awesome. URBAN TARZAN Dude, that must be 450 pound. CAVEMAN How the hell did it get here, man? URBAN TARZAN Someone had to have dumped him. Listen, this is what we're gonna do. If he passes that trailer, you're gonna walk up slowly behind and open the door. I'm gonna stay with him, and then I'm gonna bait him back towards the trailer. Even though this lion is probably a former pet who's been around humans, he could still see me as a threat. The best plan here is to move slowly and listen carefully. Lions generally let out a deep, growling roar right before they charge. Yo! POLICE 1 Stop. Drop the weapon and step away from the animal. URBAN TARZAN That's a tranquilizer gun! POLICE 1 I don't care what it is…drop the weapon and step away from the animal. URBAN TARZAN I'm Urban Tarzan! I'm an animal wrangler! You guys called me! Please, do not shoot. Just let us do our job, show some restraint. POLICE 1 Alright, go ahead, pick it up. Do what you got to do. But if this thing gets crazy, I'm putting it down. URBAN TARZAN Yo, yo. Keep that on him. CAVEMAN I'm on him, bro. You let me know. URBAN TARZAN Yo. Good. URBAN TARZAN Whoa, whoa. Whoa. Hey, whoa. Good. Good. Good boy. Yo, yo, come on. Come on. Come on. Go ahead. Go get it. Whoa, easy, easy. CAVEMAN Holy crap, that was crazy. URBAN TARZAN We got him. CAVEMAN Nice job, T. POLICE 2 Good job, guys. URBAN TARZAN Thank you, guys, for not shooting the cat. CAVEMAN Or us. URBAN TARZAN Yeah. POLICE 2 Glad we didn't have to put him down. URBAN TARZAN Ended up good. Abandoning a lion like this poses a serious threat to the city at large. The owner faces a $50,000 fine and up to a year in jail, even more if somebody had gotten hurt. Luckily, we were able to prevent that from happening today. All right, let's get him outta here. Good boy. Hey, yo, you wanna hit a drive-thru on the way to the sanctuary? CAVEMAN You hungry? URBAN TARZAN Nah, I just wanna see the look on that kid's face when we drive through with this lion. URBAN TARZAN & CAVEMAN