ABDUN CAVEMAN JASMINE MAN_1 MAN_2 MAN_3 POLICE_1 POLICE_2 URBAN_TARZAN WOMAN_1 WOMAN_2 WOMAN_3 WOMAN_4 URBAN TARZAN Coming up on Urban Tarzan… Hold on, hold on, hold on. With one kick, that ostrich could slice open a customer. CAVEMAN Oh, here she goes, man, watch out! URBAN TARZAN Cover her, cover her! She’s got my arm! WOMAN 1 What is going on? MAN 1 The snake bit me, that’s what! Just shut the hell up! URBAN TARZAN . Yeah, I’m trapped in this shed with a bunch of illegal assault weapons. Yo, you gotta… WOMAN 2 You’ve been a problem! URBAN TARZAN Take him down. Take him down. WOMAN 2 Stop! URBAN TARZAN When wild and exotic animals get out of control or show up where they don’t belong, I get the call for help. I’m Urban Tarzan, a wild animal relocation specialist with over 20 years experience capturing and relocating the most dangerous animals on the planet. URBAN TARZAN Animals are my passion. I’ll even risk my own life to save them. And when things heat up, I count on my partner, Caveman, a reptile expert and over 300 pounds of persuasion. CAVEMAN Back up. URBAN TARZAN Most people have no business handling exotic animals. What is he drinking? WOMAN 3 Cough syrup. URBAN TARZAN Are you nuts? They can call the authorities or they can call us. JASMINE Hey, guys, we got a job. URBAN TARZAN What’s up? What do we got? JASMINE There’s a woman out in La Cañada. Her cat’s been missing. She thinks she’s been hearing roaring, and she’s afraid it might be a mountain lion. URBAN TARZAN Mountain lions don’t roar, so it’s probably a coyote. CAVEMAN Yeah, but coyotes don’t roar either. JASMINE Well, she did sound kind of old. Maybe she’s hearing things? URBAN TARZAN Come on, Caveman. Just text us the address. JASMINE You got it. URBAN TARZAN A cougar’s probably the least likely, you know, animal that took the cat, ‘cause there’s a lot of other predators around, like a coyote. A raccoon can even come and, you know, take one of her little kitty cats. CAVEMAN Maybe the old lady’s a cougar. URBAN TARZAN Meow, meow. CAVEMAN URBAN TARZAN Come on, this is your call. WOMAN 4 Who are you? Who are you guys? CAVEMAN Hi, ma’am, we’re the animal guys you called. WOMAN 4 Oh. Fine. CAVEMAN Good morning. WOMAN 4 I am so glad that you came. I have five cats, and I can’t find them, and I don’t know what’s happened to them. And I’ve heard all these weird noises in the back. URBAN TARZAN Ma’am, like, this sound-- like, does it sound--is it like a little yipping sound? WOMAN 4 No, no, it sounds like a cougar. Like a roar. CAVEMAN URBAN TARZAN Caveman likes cougars, so we’ll be in luck if it is a cougar. CAVEMAN URBAN TARZAN Well, we’re gonna check it out for you. CAVEMAN You don’t mind us going in the backyard and looking around? WOMAN 4 No, I do not. No. CAVEMAN We’ll be right back to let you know what’s going on. URBAN TARZAN If there is a dangerous predator here, it’s not gonna be camping out in the open. Animals like coyotes and mountain lions are instinctively wary of humans. So we need to identify any likely hiding spots. CAVEMAN We’ve got a big barn over here. URBAN TARZAN Yeah, well, that’s what I’d seen when we pulled up. That’s a suspect area. I mean… CAVEMAN Let’s go take a look. URBAN TARZAN I mean-- and actually, you know, if it’s a coyote or a fox living in there, I mean, it can get in here no problem, bro. I mean, it could be just coming right out of there, coming in here. And she, you know, she said she keeps… URBAN TARZAN Yo, did you hear that? What the hell was that? CAVEMAN I think we’ve found… URBAN TARZAN Yo, I’ll be right… Let me go check. Caveman. That’s a goddamn lion. Come on. CAVEMAN Get the hell out of here, bro. URBAN TARZAN Come on. CAVEMAN Who’d have a lion in their backyard? URBAN TARZAN Come on, let’s go. Let’s go--let’s go knock. It’s a lion. Dude, I know what a lion is. CAVEMAN I was not expecting to find a lion. It’s actually illegal to own a lion in the state of California unless you have a special exhibitor’s or breeder’s permit, and that takes two years of well-documented training to even qualify. And that’s good, ‘cause who really wants to live next to a lion? URBAN TARZAN WOMAN 2 No, it’s not okay. MAN 2 Babe, babe, babe, babe. It’s okay, I’ll take care of it. I’ll take care of it. I’ll take care of it. It’s fine. I’ll take care of it. Babe, it’s fine. Babe, babe, babe. Hey, guys. URBAN TARZAN Hey, what’s up, bro? CAVEMAN What’s up, bro? URBAN TARZAN How’s it going? MAN 2 Can I help you guys with something? URBAN TARZAN The lady across the way called us, ‘cause she was complaining about hearing roars, and I’m like… MAN 2 Oh, yeah, yeah, I got a pet lion back there, yeah. WOMAN 2 What’s going on? URBAN TARZAN We just stopped--’cause the lady…the neighbor called us to come in ‘cause, you know, we’re animal wranglers. WOMAN 2 Uh-huh. URBAN TARZAN Caveman, give ‘em a card. WOMAN 2 Animal what? URBAN TARZAN Animal wranglers. We handle exotic animals. WOMAN 2 Yeah, I have the permit. You want to see? URBAN TARZAN I always prefer a friendly approach, so I can feel out the situation. If people seem nervous or alarmed, then I get suspicious. I’m not the cops or animal control, so the fact that she’s pushing this permit on me is a red flag, especially when I didn’t ask to see it. WOMAN 2 So everything’s cool. URBAN TARZAN That’s crazy. WOMAN 2 Everything’s cool. CAVEMAN Do you guys mind if… URBAN TARZAN Can we just go check her out? WOMAN 2 No, no. Not today. She’s just, you know--she’s been having a rough time. She’s a little testy and… URBAN TARZAN That’s what I do. I handle things that are… WOMAN 2 Oh, that’s cool. That’s cool. She’s all right now though. Thanks, you guys. CAVEMAN If you ever need any help, give us a call. WOMAN 2 Okay. Yeah, yeah. URBAN TARZAN Just give us a shout. MAN 2 Thank you. WOMAN 2 Take care. CAVEMAN Take it easy. URBAN TARZAN Even though their permit checks out, my gut tells me something isn’t right here, and I’m not just talking about this guy’s face. I got a feeling we’ll be back. CAVEMAN I got to come back. I got a date next week with the old lady. URBAN TARZAN & CAVEMAN CAVEMAN Yo. JASMINE Hey, guys, we’ve got an ostrich loose in a grocery store. CAVEMAN “Ostrich”? JASMINE That’s right. URBAN TARZAN How did that happen? JASMINE This guy owns a small grocery store in Sylmar, and he’s running some kind of publicity stunt with an ostrich out front of the store, and it got out of its cage, so now it’s running loose in the store, and he’s scared as hell. URBAN TARZAN All right, we’re right near there, so we’re heading there right now. Yo, we gotta get there quick. CAVEMAN Ostrich in a grocery store? URBAN TARZAN Yeah, man. This is… CAVEMAN What’s the big deal? It’s just a big bird. URBAN TARZAN This ain’t sesame street though, bro. This is a bird that can kick your ass. CAVEMAN No bird kicking my ass. URBAN TARZAN I’ll tell you what. You better take those earrings out. CAVEMAN My earrings? Why? URBAN TARZAN Well, ostriches love shiny things. He’ll rip your damn ears off. CAVEMAN Oh, yeah? I don’t want my ears ripped off. Hell no. URBAN TARZAN Caveman may not know a lot about ostriches, but we have a lot of experience wrangling exotics together. There’s no one I trust more to have my back. Oh, right up here. CAVEMAN Yeah, yeah, yeah. ABDUN Hi, how are you? URBAN TARZAN Hey, how’s it going, buddy? ABDUN Abdun. I, uh… I got a big problem here. I have an Ostrich. CAVEMAN What’s going on, man? MAN 3 How are ya? URBAN TARZAN All right. ABDUN It just got out of there and jumped into the store somehow. It’s breaking apart everything. It’s destroying the whole store. CAVEMAN You actually think this is gonna hold an ostrich? Well, obviously it didn’t if it busted out and ran in the store. MAN 3 Right here, pal. Right out here. See it? CAVEMAN Yeah, yeah. I see it. MAN 3 You see it? Huh? That’s what happened. It got out of here and it ran into the freakin’ store, you got it? CAVEMAN All right, that’s all I wanted to know. MAN 3 Now it’s running around in the store, and all you gotta do is get the freaking thing out of there. That’s all you gotta do. CAVEMAN All right. All right. URBAN TARZAN Why would you have an ostrich here? ABDUN It was kind of like an ad for the store. You see the sign? URBAN TARZAN Yeah, I see the sign. I mean, it’s not a good idea. Not a good idea, Abdullah. You understand? With one kick, that ostrich could slice you right open or slice open a customer. ABDUN The owner… URBAN TARZAN Look, they run over 40 miles an hour. They’re up over 300 pounds. ABDUN I didn’t know that. URBAN TARZAN One kick and--bang!--there goes your head. He’ll crush your little head. MAN 3 I can get the ostrich out. All I gotta do is taser it with a taser. URBAN TARZAN Nah, relax, yo. I got it, I got it. CAVEMAN Do you have any idea where it is in the store right now, or it’s just roaming around? ABDUN It’s somewhere running around in the store… I don’t know exactly where it is but… In the office we have cameras. We can locate. CAVEMAN Okay. That’d be great. Let’s go see the cameras. Come on. URBAN TARZAN Locating the bird on a security camera gives us a chance to find it without freaking it out. Ostriches can be deadly fighters when provoked. Bring up the front of the store, ‘cause I just-- ABDUN This is the front of the store. URBAN TARZAN Okay, and that’s where she-- see, that’s where she came in, ‘cause you can see her-- her wrath. Wait, there she is. There she is. ABDUN There, there, right there. Yeah, there it is. URBAN TARZAN Oh, my god. CAVEMAN You’re gonna have a lot of cleaning to do later. ABDUN Oh, he’s on the move again. Oh my god. He’s in the beer section. The whole god damn store is getting destroyed. URBAN TARZAN This is the thing, I gotta just come up with a plan, I mean… MAN 3 Shoot it. URBAN TARZAN ‘Cause she’s already wrecking… MAN 3 Let’s shoot it. URBAN TARZAN No, no, we ain’t--we ain’t… CAVEMAN No, no. MAN 3 I mean shoot him with a taser. URBAN TARZAN Everybody just chill out, man, ‘cause we gotta do what’s at hand, and it’s to get this animal. Ostriches are birds of prey to a lot of fast-moving animals, like cheetahs and lions, and they’re experts at avoiding capture. If we’re gonna catch it, we need the element of surprise. Go that way. Stay low. Stay low. Stay low. Yo, yo. I don’t know where he is, so just stay back, all right? Back. Just listen for her, bro, ‘cause you’ll hear her tapping on the floor. CAVEMAN You got it. URBAN TARZAN Yo, yo, yo! Get down. Get down. Stay back, stay back, stay back, stay back. Yo, holy ! Coming up on Urban Tarzan… Come on. Watch out. MAN 1 We got a snake on the loose. WOMAN 1 What? URBAN TARZAN The snake bit me! URBAN TARZAN Holy ! We got a call from a frantic supermarket manager who’s got a crazed ostrich running wild in his store. Now we’re stalking a 300-pound bird with 4-inch claws that could make mincemeat out of us with a single kick. Get rid of these camera guys, too, please. CAVEMAN Come on, back up. Yo, I’m coming around, T. URBAN TARZAN Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. All right. Let’s let it go up front. There’s more room that way. Block her right there. Block her. Just hold off right there. CAVEMAN I got it, T. URBAN TARZAN Give me one of your socks. Caveman. Give me one of your socks. CAVEMAN My sock? URBAN TARZAN Give me one of your socks, please. CAVEMAN All right. URBAN TARZAN Like a lot of other birds, if an ostrich can’t see, it assumes that it’s night. So we’re gonna try to get a hood on this bird so we can calm it down and get it out of here safely. If she starts to kick, this could turn deadly. Just be calm. Just be calm. Uh, uh, uh. MAN 3 Do you want me to tase him? URBAN TARZAN Get the hell out of here! MAN 3 I can tase him. URBAN TARZAN Hey, get--get out of here! CAVEMAN What are you doing to my sock? URBAN TARZAN Watch the bird, watch the bird. So far, this ostrich has been incredibly elusive. The only way I’m gonna get a hood on this bird is if I grab it by the neck and force it to the ground first. URBAN TARZAN Okay, come here. Come on. Come on. Come on. Cover her, cover her. CAVEMAN Her head? URBAN TARZAN Yeah! CAVEMAN I’m trying, man. URBAN TARZAN Cover her. Cover her head. URBAN TARZAN You got it, you got it. Watch out. Oh! CAVEMAN Yo, watch out, bro. Watch out. URBAN TARZAN No, no… CAVEMAN She’s starting to kick. URBAN TARZAN Cover her head. Cover her head. CAVEMAN I’m trying, I’m trying. URBAN TARZAN Cover her head. CAVEMAN I got her head. URBAN TARZAN You gotta start doing this. Put your weight on, put your weight on, put your weight on. There we go. CAVEMAN You got her, you got her. URBAN TARZAN Good girl. This’ll probably kill her--your smelly-ass sock. CAVEMAN You didn’t tell me we were gonna do this. I would’ve brought a clean one. URBAN TARZAN Well, this is to keep her calm ‘cause she thinks it’s nighttime. CAVEMAN Want me to get off first? URBAN TARZAN Yeah. CAVEMAN All right. URBAN TARZAN Okay, baby. All right, good girl. We got to make a corral out front, so we can get her into that trailer, bro. CAVEMAN Out front? URBAN TARZAN Yep. CAVEMAN We’re all lucky this 300-pound bird didn’t do more damage. If he would’ve stayed in that store any longer, the whole place would’ve been trashed and Abdun really would’ve been up a creek. URBAN TARZAN Come on. There you go. There you go. CAVEMAN You want me to pull this piece out too? URBAN TARZAN There you go. It’s okay. It’s okay, baby. ABDUN Thank you, I got to reopen the store again. Thank you. CAVEMAN Hope you learned your lesson. Don’t ever do nothing stupid like this again, man. ABDUN Thank you again. I really appreciate all your help. URBAN TARZAN This was a big day for her and a big day for us. CAVEMAN Yo. JASMINE Hey, guys. We’ve got a snake loose in a tattoo shop. URBAN TARZAN Of course we do. CAVEMAN JASMINE They were doing some kind of photo shoot, and this large snake got loose, and they need help. CAVEMAN Did they say what kind of snake it was? JASMINE No, he didn’t. CAVEMAN Figures. URBAN TARZAN That’s great. JASMINE I’ll text you the address. They need you there right away. CAVEMAN All right. Cool, we’re going. Later. URBAN TARZAN When we catch it, we have to do paper-scissors-rock for which one of us gets to keep it. CAVEMAN Yeah, well. You know me. Only ball pythons, man. URBAN TARZAN MAN 1 You the guys for the snake? URBAN TARZAN That’s us. CAVEMAN Yeah, man. MAN 1 Okay. Thank you. WOMAN 1 Can you help me, please? MAN 1 Hold it! All right? I’m dealing with it! Oh, my god. URBAN TARZAN What’s happening here? MAN 1 I was doing a shoot over here with a model who’s, like--she’s freaked out. She took her top off, we put the snake on her. The snake starts to squeeze her, and I pulled it off. She flew in there, and next thing I knew, the snake--it’s gone, man. URBAN TARZAN Where’s the snake handler? MAN 1 There’s no snake handler. CAVEMAN This is exactly the kind of genius we deal with every day. Without a trained snake handler around, things can get deadly. URBAN TARZAN All right, hold on, hold on. How big is it and what color was this animal? MAN 1 It’s a big, like--it’s, like, 10, 12 feet. I don’t know, it’s friggin’ huge. CAVEMAN 12-foot boa? URBAN TARZAN We have to find this snake before it gets out of the building. A large constrictor could be a serious threat to a variety of local species, not to mention human life. Because it’s cold-blooded, it’s probably hiding in a warm spot somewhere in the shop. Look at this. CAVEMAN What do we got here? URBAN TARZAN Check it out, baby. CAVEMAN Yeah, buddy. URBAN TARZAN I knew it. CAVEMAN Yo, we’re dealing with a big snake here, bro. I’ve been breeding snakes for over 20 years, and I can see from the size of the belly scales that this snake’s at least 10 feet long. Finding this thing without getting bit just got a whole lot harder. Look at that up there. It could easily… URBAN TARZAN Broken tiles. CAVEMAN It could easily, yeah, wrap around here and get its way up in there. URBAN TARZAN There’s only one way to find out if this snake is in the ceiling, and that’s me climbing up to check it out. CAVEMAN Careful, T. Yo, can you see it up there? URBAN TARZAN No, man. But it looks like there’s a trail of skin going all the way down this back wall. WOMAN 1 What the was that? Please tell me… URBAN TARZAN Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo! WOMAN 1 Where’s the snake? URBAN TARZAN Yo. CAVEMAN Get those lights on now! URBAN TARZAN The photo equipment tripped the breaker, now I can’t see a thing. I gotta find the exact spot where this snake is hiding in the ceiling so I can get it down. I don’t even know. Yo, she’s wrapped on it, bro. This is a yellow anaconda. She’s a big, mean snake. Anacondas have six rows of razor-sharp teeth and are totally capable of constricting a human. If I’m not careful, I could be the snake’s next victim. Oh, there’s her head. I got her head. CAVEMAN You got it? You got it? URBAN TARZAN She’s got a lot of teeth. She’s getting around my neck. CAVEMAN Yo… URBAN TARZAN ! URBAN TARZAN She’s got my arm! WOMAN 1 What is going on? URBAN TARZAN The snake bit me! Coming up on Urban Tarzan… Take her off. Just take her by the tail. This animal’s strong. Dude, I’m bleeding a lot. Take him down! WOMAN 2 Stop! URBAN TARZAN Hold on, hold on, hold on! URBAN TARZAN This is a yellow anaconda. She’s a big, mean snake. I’m hunting a giant snake in a tattoo parlor, and suddenly--! URBAN TARZAN She’s got my arm! WOMAN 1 What is going on? MAN 1 The snake bit me, that’s what! Just shut the hell up! URBAN TARZAN Take her off. Just take her by the tail. CAVEMAN I got it, I got it. WOMAN 1 Do you have it? URBAN TARZAN Bro, get that box over here. CAVEMAN Get her in, get her in. URBAN TARZAN Dude, hold on. She’s got my arm. All right. Hold on. Put it in. Hold on. Dude, if I let her head go… I’m getting bit again. Hold on. I feel like I’m going to freakin’ puke, bro. CAVEMAN As soon as you let go, it’s on. URBAN TARZAN Ready? Dude, get ready. CAVEMAN It’s on, it’s on. URBAN TARZAN Put it halfway on. Halfway on, halfway on. CAVEMAN As soon as you pull your arm out, it’s on. URBAN TARZAN Ready? One, two, three--. CAVEMAN It’s in. WOMAN 1 Is it done? Is she gone? MAN 1 It’s in. It’s in the box. CAVEMAN Lucky for T, anacondas aren’t venomous, but they do have one nasty bite. MAN 1 All right, guys. Listen, I-I know… CAVEMAN Yo, now’s not a good time, bro, all right? URBAN TARZAN Dude, get the hell away from me. MAN 1 Let me just get the snake out of here. URBAN TARZAN Just back up. MAN 1 Okay? Thank you. URBAN TARZAN You ain’t getting the snake out of here! MAN 1 Just give me the snake. URBAN TARZAN The snake’s coming with us! MAN 1 I paid you to get the snake. URBAN TARZAN The snake is coming with us! You see what just happened? MAN 1 Hey, hey, whoa, whoa! URBAN TARZAN You don’t know--you don’t know what the hell you’re doing, bro. MAN 1 Hey, hey, I don’t care what just happened to you. You don’t have to attack me. URBAN TARZAN Back up! CAVEMAN Yo, you better care, bro. Take a walk, bro. URBAN TARZAN Saving wild animals from idiots like this photographer is why I do what I do. This snake is going to a facility where it can be properly cared for until its rightful owner comes to get it. CAVEMAN Yo. JASMINE Hey, guys. You’re going back to La Cañada. URBAN TARZAN A few days ago, we discovered a crazy couple that keeps a pet lion in their backyard. Can we just go check her out? WOMAN 2 No, no. Not today. URBAN TARZAN The owners were expressing nervous behavior around us, and we got the strong impression something fishy was going on. What’s the deal? What’s the problem? MAN 2 I’m having a hard time opening the guillotine cage. URBAN TARZAN Dangerous predators have to be fed in what’s known as a shift cage. In order to feed the lion, she’s lured into a smaller cage and secured, so the handler can safely work in the enclosure. This door is pulled out of its track, and the only way to do it is for me to go back in there and release that down without getting my head torn off. CAVEMAN Yo, what’s in the shed? MAN 2 Oh, we have, um, you know, stuff we feed her with in there. CAVEMAN This guy’s not being honest with us. An experienced handler knows not to keep raw meat near a predator ‘cause they can smell it. There’s nothing that that lion wants more than to take a bite out of something or someone. URBAN TARZAN Don’t move fast… CAVEMAN Okay. URBAN TARZAN All right? But this is what we’ll do. I’m gonna go in, I’m gonna try to sneak around her, get over to the guillotine, fix it, and-- And we’ll do this. CAVEMAN Be careful, bro. URBAN TARZAN Entering a cage with a predator is one of the most dangerous things you can do. This lioness has claws an inch and a half long and canines over 3 inches long. She can easily rip me to shreds. URBAN TARZAN Atta baby. Good baby. Good baby girl. URBAN TARZAN Go all the way over. Go all the way over. Go all the way over. Keep her over there, bro. I gotta fix this thing. CAVEMAN Come on, sweetie. URBAN TARZAN I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it. I got it. URBAN TARZAN Easy. CAVEMAN She shifted into predator mode. Get out of there. Yo, T, you all right in here? URBAN TARZAN Yeah, man. CAVEMAN You okay? URBAN TARZAN Bro, there’s no way out of here. What the… Now I see the real reason this guy was acting so weird. This lion’s being used as a guard dog for weapons. You gotta be kidding me. This is not a safe home for a lion, and I’m calling the cops. Listen. Listen, listen. I need immediate assistance. I’m trapped in a shed with a bunch of illegal assault weapons, and there’s a lion right outside. Caveman, you got to lure that cat into the shift cage. She’s got a strong stalk instinct. So crawl like a cat. Don’t look back. CAVEMAN Come here, sweetie. Come here, lion. URBAN TARZAN Keep your back to her. CAVEMAN Hey, lion. Come here. Come here, sweetie. Come on. Come on. URBAN TARZAN There you go. We gotta get her in there. CAVEMAN Come on, hey. Hey, lion. Come here. Come here, sweetie. Come on. URBAN TARZAN Easy, girl, easy. CAVEMAN Yo, you all right, brother? I thought you were in trouble. URBAN TARZAN Nah, I ain’t all right. I ain’t all right, bro. Dude, you got guns all over in there! MAN 2 Yo, where-- where the hell you going? URBAN TARZAN Back up, back away. Yo! MAN 2 ! URBAN TARZAN I will slap that ink right off your face! CAVEMAN Yo, back up, bro. MAN 2 . URBAN TARZAN Back up. Back up. WOMAN 2 What’s going on? CAVEMAN Who you pushing, bro? WOMAN 2 What do you mean, “back up”? URBAN TARZAN Yo, you gotta back up! WOMAN 2 You know what? You’ve been a problem… URBAN TARZAN Back up! Back up! WOMAN 2 Since day one, you . URBAN TARZAN Back up. WOMAN 2 What do you want to do? URBAN TARZAN Take him down. Take him down. WOMAN 2 Stop! URBAN TARZAN Get out of my face. WOMAN 2 get off me! CAVEMAN It’s over! Relax! MAN 2 Get out of my face. POLICE 1 Everybody on the ground! URBAN TARZAN Yo! Yo, yo, yo! I called--I called you! I called you! I called you! That shed is full of weapons. Machine guns, explosives! POLICE 1 On the ground! Do you live here? URBAN TARZAN I have nothing, man. I have nothing. WOMAN 2 You’re full of ! You’re full of ! POLICE 2 Be quiet! WOMAN 2 You liar! POLICE 2 Be quiet. Let’s go. Come on. URBAN TARZAN It’s all in a day’s work. We’ll be taking the lion to a preserve where she can be cared for properly. And as for those other two animals, they’re gonna be in their own cages by the end of the day. CAVEMAN Yo, it’s been a crazy week, man. Lions, guns. We got beat up by an ostrich. URBAN TARZAN I didn’t get beat up by an ostrich. CAVEMAN That’s not what the ostrich is saying, man. URBAN TARZAN He might have beat us up if we didn’t have your sock. CAVEMAN That put him right out. URBAN TARZAN Come to think of it… CAVEMAN Are you still wearing it? URBAN TARZAN “Bat up by an ostrich.”