ALI ALL ANNOUNCER BRADY DENNIS DOCTOR ELLIOT EMPLOYEE EMPLOYEES EMT FEMALE_NARRATOR GRAHAM GROUP JEANNIE JESS MALE_NARRATOR MAN MAN_AMI MAN_ON_PA_SYSTEM MINDY MR_TUSK OLD_WOMAN PRIEST QUINN RANDY SPECTATORS WOMAN WOMAN_AMIE ALI Cheers! MAN AMI Cheers! WOMAN AMIE Holidays... ALI Um So, for Christmas here? Do you guys wanna come? WOMAN AMIE I know. I thought we were gonna be here. We're going to his parents� house. MAN AMI Yeah. We gotta just do it. It'll be all right. I know it sucks. WOMAN AMIE It's gonna be the worst is what it�s gonna be. MAN AMI It it will be the worst. WOMAN AMIE It's gonna be MAN AMI But then we'll be back, and it will be over, right? It will be fast. WOMAN AMIE Yeah. I'll have just been like driven insane by your dad for like four days. We got to keep them off the sauce. MAN AMI We're gonna try and keep them off the sauce this year. Yeah. MAN AMI So, are you and Graham talking anymore even like? ALI No. No. We haven't talked. We're not talking. His family on the other hand they're pretty great. Just 'cause I dumped him doesn't mean I have to dump the family. MAN AMI It kinda does, though. ALI WOMAN AMIE God, I wish I could dump your family. MAN AMI I I know. WOMAN AMIE Dump them in the garbage. ALI I want to have my own pastry truck one day. GRAHAM Oh, you bake? ALI I do. GRAHAM Yeah? ALI Taste it, and tell me if you think I'm crazy. GRAHAM Really? ALI Yeah. GRAHAM Okay. Oh, my God. This is so good. ALI First cookie's free. GRAHAM That's how they get you. ALI I have a question was this coffee our first date? Or did lunch at the office count? GRAHAM Good question. Uh What if it was coffee today and also some dinner tonight? Let's do it. ALI Oh. I forgot my my phone. GRAHAM You always forget your phone. So, I move the boxes, and you're with the glasses of wine? ALI Yeah. But one's for you. GRAHAM Okay. ALI Welcome home. Aw. I love our house. GRAHAM I love your house. ALI So Hey! GRAHAM Hey. ALI It's our house. GRAHAM Thank you. ALI Bah humbug. EMPLOYEE Merry Christmas, everyone! MR TUSK Eh-ow! Whoa. You looking at porn? GRAHAM No. MR TUSK Hey, we're taking tequila shots you're down? GRAHAM Uh No. Thank you, Mister Tusk. I got a lot of work to do. MR TUSK That�s exactly the answer I wanted. GRAHAM Oh. MR TUSK You're my head designer. I need you right here. GRAHAM That's me. Just uh work, work, work, work, work. MR TUSK Oh. We're moving the launch date of Poof 'n Puff up to Christmas. GRAHAM Christmas like, like like next week Christmas? MR TUSK You get this done, I can grant you an additional thousand stock options. And you can maybe buy something nice for your wife. GRAHAM Uh Well, my fianc�e and I, uh called it off like six months ago. So MR TUSK Oh, that's good. Eyes on the prize. Merry Christmas, everybody! EMPLOYEES GRAHAM Hello. JEANNIE Hi, sweetie. Just calling to check in. It's officially seven days until Christmas, and we're so excited that you're coming. Thank you, honey bun. GRAHAM Mom Mom Mom JEANNIE We're gonna do those, uh snow angels as soon as you get here. Okay? DENNIS Hockey. JEANNIE Hockey. Ooh. I know what I wanted to tell you. I got, uh the ham, but, uh, this time I got it from Anthony's. I hope you don't mind. Your dad likes it. GRAHAM Mom DENNIS They have the best dead pigs. GRAHAM Oh, my God. DENNIS Grahamgy! What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? The abdominal snowman! My barber told me that. JEANNIE Well, there's plenty more where that came from. GRAHAM Mom, I can't barely hear you guys. Are you on the landline? I can't hear DENNIS The landline has been proven to much better sound quality than a mobile phone. Everybody knows that. JEANNIE Fifty years we've had this sucker. DENNIS That's absolutely right. Ooh. JEANNIE Yeah, how long�Oh! DENNIS Oh. Well, see? See? And it didn't break. That's the good news. Here. Whoops. GRAHAM Well, it�fifty It sounds like you've had it for fifty years. DENNIS Now, where are we? GRAHAM Hello? JEANNIE Sorry honey. Yep. Go ahead. We're both here. GRAHAM I I can't come home this year, okay? I'm sorry. JEANNIE What? DENNIS Is that a joke? GRAHAM No. It's not a joke. I have a deadline. Okay? I have to be I have to get the game done by Christmas. JEANNIE Don't kid with mommy. GRAHAM I'm not kidding. JEANNIE Don't kid with mommy. GRAHAM I'm sorry. JEANNIE Don't kid with mommy, honey. GRAHAM I have a deadline of Christmas, and I have to work. JEANNIE No, no. DENNIS No, no. Okay. Graham, you've got to come home. Your mother has been decorating the house since Halloween! GRAHAM Yeah. She does that every year, Dad. DENNIS Okay. You know what, here's what we'll do. I'll call your boss. All right? GRAHAM No. DENNIS I'll call your boss and explain the situation that we take Christmas very seriously. GRAHAM No. I'd really prefer you not to do that. DENNIS You know what I think is really happening? I think this has less to do with work JEANNIE Ah... DENNIS And maybe a lot more to do with Ali . JEANNIE Ali. DENNIS Because, well - GRAHAM 'Cause, 'cause what, Dad? 'Cause Ali dumped me? Ditched me? Ripped out my heart, stomped on it? JEANNIE Okay. GRAHAM This has nothing to do with that. I have a deadline. I have to run. I gotta work. I can't even hear you on the landline. DENNIS No, no, no, no. JEANNIE Graham, Graham, Graham. Graham. GRAHAM Goodbye. FEMALE NARRATOR It's the gift that matters most this Christmas. Because after all, who wants to be alone for the holidays. MALE NARRATOR Tired? Stressed? Single? GRAHAM What is this ad for? Who's this ad for? Who made this? No, no, no, no. Remote. Remote. Remote. You can do this. Graham, you got this. Okay. Ready. Set. Yes! No! FEMALE NARRATOR This holiday season, the freezing temperatures won�t show any mercy to the poor animals who have been left outside. Abandoned. Forgotten. GRAHAM I'm the dog. Great. FEMALE NARRATOR Lonely. Hungry. They have no shelter, and they need your help. Call or text now to donate and make a difference in an animal's life this holiday season. GRAHAM Well, Graham. This is rock bottom. I gotta book a flight. MAN ON PA SYSTEM Thank you for flying with us today, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Minnesota, a winter wonderland. With just three days left until Christmas, happy holidays. GRAHAM Thank you. GRAHAM Okay. Here we go. JEANNIE I wish Heather could have come. MINDY I know. But she's busy with her podcast. It's called, uh�Don�t Tie Me Down. And it's all about singles in the city. JEANNIE Ah MINDY She talks about polyamory and, um, not kind of feeling constrained or non-committal. JEANNIE Polyamory? Didn't they play Coachella? MINDY Yeah. I think they did. Yeah. What? Um What is that? JEANNIE It's for Aunt Mildred. MINDY Oh, she's gonna love it. She needs that. JEANNIE Yeah. MINDY It's just, uh GRAHAM Surprise! JEANNIE GRAHAM Your second favorite son hath returneth. It's a Christmas miracle! JEANNIE Graham, what are you doing here? GRAHAM Uh, nothing, Mom, just spending Christmas with my family. MINDY But you were you you GRAHAM Don't have any bags? No, they lost everything. All my clothes, the amazing gifts I got you guys. Thank God I held onto my laptop. You know, when I pictured this in my head, there was like tears of happiness and joy and JEANNIE Oh, honey! Oh, Graham, I'm so happy you're here. MINDY Oh, Graham! JEANNIE Thank you for coming home! GRAHAM You might want to tell your face. MINDY Graham is here! JEANNIE I love you. MINDY Yay, Graham. GRAHAM Thank you. MINDY Okay, let's hug outside. JEANNIE Yes, let's do that. MINDY Yeah, yeah, yeah, wanna see the Nativity? Yeah, yeah, yeah. GRAHAM Where are we going? JEANNIE Oh, good. Take a gander at that, and I'll go to the kitchen and start something yummy to eat, okay? GRAHAM I saw it. It's great. MINDY Oh, I�m starving. I'm so hungry. JEANNIE Okay? MINDY Yes, yes, yes. Oh, please. Sandwiches? GRAHAM Did Ali send cookies? MINDY Yeah, it's just GRAHAM She sent cookies? What are you doing? ALI Well, I found all of these in the back clo shit! MINDY Is that Ali? GRAHAM Shut up. ALI Well, I thought�I thought you said he was working. MINDY He said he was working! When has he ever said that and then shown up somewhere? GRAHAM What are you doing here? ALI I-I-I was invited. GRAHAM No, no. I'm pretty sure when you uninvited me from your life, you uninvited you from Christmas! JEANNIE Graham, that's not really true. We knew she'd be alone for Christmas, so we invited her. GRAHAM I'm sorry. How did you know that? ALI Well... MINDY We keep in touch. ALI Yeah. GRAHAM You keep in touch? ALI We text MINDY We keep in touch, yes. We text. Uh, she posted that she was on vacation. I swiped up, and, you know, next thing you know we're DM-ing. ALI Then texting MINDY Texting and� ALI And now, we're on day seventy-five of Wordle. MINDY �of Wordle, and you're, like, incredible. ALI No. MINDY Last night you got it in like two tries? ALI What was the word? ALI/MINDY Death! GRAHAM Cool. Oh, my God, that's so wild. MINDY Text and GRAHAM Why? JEANNIE Graham, Ali has been a part of our family for a very long time. You can't just flip that off like a light switch. GRAHAM That's literally what she did to me. Okay, you know what, actually I think it's time to get my ring back. ALI Oh, the ring. My ring? The one you gave me. Well, I thought about it, and I like it too much, okay? It's very pretty on the hand. And also, I didn't want to hurt you. GRAHAM Why didn't you just say, "Hey, Graham, let's talk about things. Let's try and work through this." ALI I literally said so many times, �Hey, we need to talk.� GRAHAM Pffft! ALI �We need to work on things.� But you you never processed it. Mister Lack of Self-awareness! GRAHAM Oh, I am like a wolf in the jungle, okay? I'm always aware. JEANNIE Okay, I'd hit that. GROUP What? JEANNIE I said I would hit that. GRAHAM Uh-huh. MINDY No, do you know what that means? JEANNIE Putting an end to something. I'm putting an end to this conversation. MINDY No, that's not what it means. Have you been saying this to people? JEANNIE I said it yesterday to the pharmacist. What does it mean? GRAHAM You guys can talk about what it means when I'm very, very far from here. JEANNIE What does it m GRAHAM And right now, everyone� everyone needs to understand Ali and I are over. So, you know what? This is super unfair. She broke up with me. But I'll go. Merry Christmas. MINDY I should go? I don�t wanna. Okay, fine, I�ll go. MINDY Hey, isn't that baby Jesus's job? Just don't break anything 'cause Mom's gonna be so mad. GRAHAM You guys plan on telling me about this or just keep it a secret forever? MINDY Can you blame us? You're kind of freaking out! GRAHAM Of course I'm freaking out. Wouldn't you be? MINDY So, what do you wanna do? GRAHAM I dunno. Literally every hotel in town is booked, even the Holiday Inn. MINDY Yeah. Maybe you could stay in a manger. Ha-ha. GRAHAM Ha-ha-ha-ha. Everybody is so hilarious today. I'm gonna fly home. MINDY I love you, but you have your head so far up your own butt that you can basically lick your own tonsils. GRAHAM Ew, what? Okay. How do you expect me to react, hmm? You invited my ex-fianc�e to Christmas! MINDY Technically, Mom invited her. GRAHAM Oh, that's fine then. MINDY But I get it. I get it. It's weird. GRAHAM No, actually, you don't get it. You know, Ali never gave me one real reason why she dumped me? Not one. She didn't say anything to you, did she? MINDY No, we didn�t really talk about that stuff. And every time Ali was here, you were off in your own little world. GRAHAM What does that mean? MINDY Grandma's ninetieth? GRAHAM Well, it's not a hundred. MINDY Well, she showed up. Also, when Heather and I got our place, who helped us move? GRAHAM I offered to pay for movers. And moving sucks! MINDY I know it does, which is why I needed your help. I dunno, I think Mom's gonna invite Ali to a lot of holidays now. Like Cinco de Ali. Could you imagine? Or um... Easter Ali Day. That wasn�t great. Ali-ween! GRAHAM No. Oh, God. MINDY Ali Fool's. Ali Fool's is the that was also fine. GRAHAM Okay. Look, I know you're joking, but you're not wrong. Mom and Dad are so sweet and so na�ve they can't move on. MINDY No. No, which is why you and Ali GRAHAM I need to show them how evil she is. MINDY No. GRAHAM Yes! MINDY That's not what I was gonna say. GRAHAM You're a genius, okay? I know what I have to do. I have to get Mom and Dad to dump Ali before Christmas. Otherwise, I'm gonna have to share my family forever. Hah! MINDY Okay. I'm gonna pretend like you're not going absolutely insane right now. Can we please go inside? GRAHAM We have to go inside, okay? 'Cause every second she's in there is another chance for her to steal my family. What are we still doing here? We got to save Christmas, come on! MINDY Oh, my God. GRAHAM Mind! MINDY I'm coming. GRAHAM Move it! MINDY Oh, my God. I'm scared. ALI Well, I mean my dad and his new girlfriend did technically invite me to join them in Hawaii. JEANNIE Well, it doesn't sound like you're too fond of his new girlfriend. ALI Well, I don't really know the new girlfriend. I mean, there's one every, like, two weeks. And it's always someone named Bunny or Cookie or Maple Syrup. JEANNIE Uh, they all sound sweet and sticky. ALI His good taste started and ended with my mother. JEANNIE Oh, honey. I know how much you miss her. But you always have a place here. You're part of our family, you know it. GRAHAM Mom? JEANNIE Well, well. Has my son finally come to his senses? GRAHAM Well, Mom... I will admit I may not have handled this whole situation as well as I could have. But then I realized it's Christmas, and there is more than enough holiday spirit to go around. JEANNIE Well, that is wonderful to hear. GRAHAM Mm-hmm. ALI Wow, that's�that's really big of you, Graham. DENNIS Hello! Look at this old vagrant I picked up from grad school! ELLIOT God, Dad. "Vagrant" is a derogatory term blaming the unhoused for their own situ DENNIS Sweet baby of Bethlehem! ELLIOT Okay, whatever. DENNIS Did I have too much nog at the office? Or is this my first-born standing there? GRAHAM Surprise! Oh, hey, buddy. ALI Elliot! Oh! How'd the Psych final go? ELLIOT �A�-minus! ALI What? ELLIOT I couldn't have done it without you and all the FaceTime study sessions, Ali . ALI Yes. Aww. Congratulations. GRAHAM FaceTime study sessions, that's such a nice moment between you guys. I mean, it wasn't an �A,� so. DENNIS I'm so glad that you two finally patched things up! GRAHAM Oh, no. We didn't patch any ALI No, it's just a temporary patching GRAHAM It's a try-not-to-kill-each-other sort of thing. DENNIS Okay. Well, then, I'm sorry that I said anything. But it's great that you're here. Hey, what about all your work? GRAHAM Oh, no, no. I still have to do all of that. Yeah. I'm on a deadline. But� I also realized that a Stroop family Christmas wouldn't be the same without all of the Stroop kids, so. JEANNIE Oh, yay. It looks like we're having an honest-to-goodness Stroop family Christmas. Let's make reindeer food! DENNIS Oh, I'll grab the Christmas vinyl! MINDY I got the wine! GRAHAM I love it. ALI Graham! GRAHAM Yeah? ALI Hey. GRAHAM Hey. ALI I just wanted to say that, um... I would never have come here if your parents hadn't sworn you'd be in LA. But now that we are here, together uh, do you wanna maybe talk about it? GRAHAM Talk about what? ALI Our separation. GRAHAM Oh, that. No, thank you. ALI Graham? GRAHAM You didn't want to talk about it then. I don't wanna talk about it now. So� let's just not talk about it. ALI Are you sure? GRAHAM Ali, we're both grownups here, so let's just act like grownups. DENNIS Hey, Graham? GRAHAM Yeah? DENNIS Which couch do you want me to set up for you? The one in the basement is more comfortable, but the new one in the game room doesn't smell like cat pee. RIP, Mister Cinnamon. GRAHAM Yeah, so that means that Ali was, uh, setup in my room? ALI You know what? I'm gonna just move DENNIS Yeah, because she was here. ALI Because Pamela Anderson and Wolverine staring at me from the wall's kinda creepy. GRAHAM No, no, no, no. Joseph would never let Mary sleep on the couch, right? DENNIS That's the man I raised. GRAHAM Yeah. The clean couch, please. DENNIS You got it. GRAHAM Thank you. ALI Graham... GRAHAM Yes? ALI What's going on? I know you, and you're acting... weird. GRAHAM I'm fine. In fact, I'm super. Hey, fam! How do we feel about a game night tonight? JEANNIE Did somebody mention a game night? GRAHAM You bet. MINDY Okay, well, I got the supplies. [comical sounds] GRAHAM Whoo-hoo-hoo, gonna need more than that. JEANNIE Who's hungry, what can I make ya? MINDY Yes! GRAHAM I am. Starving. GROUP GROUP GROUP ALI Coming in hot. MINDY Quip. Because I'm full of quips, baby. GRAHAM Good for you, b-baby. ALI Let's go. MINDY Whoo-hoo! That was my �Q.� Do you know how hard it is to get rid of a �Q�? ALI I know, and when you have a �U� and an �I,� and then every other letter on your board to create an entire word��Quilting,� using each and every one of my letters. It's empty. Empty slate. Here I go. GROUP GRAHAM Uh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Challenge, challenge. You misspelled �quitting� which is surprising �cause you're really good at it. ALI True, it's no �cat� for seven points, but it is GRAHAM I had no letters, 'kay? ALI Whoo, ninety-six points! DENNIS Good for you, Ali. GRAHAM Wow. Everyone cheer for Ali. ELLIOT Fun! Good for you. DENNIS Yay, Ali! Cheers! GROUP GRAHAM I was - JEANNIE To Ali. I'm glad you're here, Ali. GRAHAM I was joking. All right, let's play another game. ELLIOT Ooh. Let's play Werewolf. [howls] ALI Yes! ELLIOT Let�s play! GRAHAM Look at her. She's playing you. She's been picking off our family... ALI GRAHAM ...one by one. Okay? ALI Oh, my God. GRAHAM She's the werewolf. I'm a villager, I swear. ALI Eh Of course, you'd say your ex is the monster. I mean, I know you guys don't wanna see it, but like he's obviously the werewolf. GRAHAM Villager. This is a villager outfit. Okay? This is not a werewolf outfit. This is the werewolf. ALI Please, I know you don't wanna see it, but your son, your precious firstborn, he is� the werewolf. JEANNIE Okay. Okay. ALI Believe me. I swear. JEANNIE Look me in the eye and swear to me that you're a villager. ALI I swear� on the spirit of Christmas� that I am just a villager. DENNIS Wow. ELLIOT That�s very convincing. DENNIS Very convincing. JEANNIE All righty. GRAHAM I can't compete with that. JEANNIE Time is up. GROUP Werewolf! ALI GROUP Werewolf! GRAHAM Villager. ALI Oh, my God! You guys bought it. Whoa! I'm so sorry. All you were fooled. Especially you. So gullible! I am the werewolf. How about that? Whoo! Ahh! Feels good. JEANNIE But you swore on the spirit of Christmas. GRAHAM Yeah. Too far. ALI Well, I just Well, I didn't it mean it like that. I didn't mean it like for real. JEANNIE I think I'm done with game night. GRAHAM No! DENNIS Me, too. GRAHAM Oh. DENNIS Get you picked up here. GROUP DENNIS That was super fun, everybody. GRAHAM Just because of that horrible thing Ali said? Oh, no. ALI That's the object of the game is to� MINDY You wanna watch a movie or something? GRAHAM Thanks, guys. DENNIS Do you have anything in mind? MINDY I don't know. DENNIS Well, that was really horrible what she said. GRAHAM Oh, boy. You know, I had a feeling your competitive spirit might get you into a little bit of trouble with the Stroop fam. ALI I see. You're trying to make me look bad. GRAHAM I didn�t even have to try. My family will work up the courage to ask you to leave before Christmas morning. ALI You wanna you wanna bet? GRAHAM Oh. Yeah. It's a bet. By Christmas morning, you're gone. ALI Or you're gone. Hmm. GRAHAM Only one can stay. And that goes for every holiday forever. ALI Great. GRAHAM Great. ALI We're on. GRAHAM We're on.... ANNOUNCER ...control tonight, they are showing this Calgary team how it's done. And here we go. Anderson's coming up the corner there. He has the puck. Over to Sam Hoesley. Oh, my gosh. He shoots. He scores! GROUP MINDY Yes. Okay, okay, okay. DENNIS That's crazy. JEANNIE Gosh. Okay. French toast is almost ready, everybody. Unless you want something else, I can make it for you. DENNIS Oh. How about some blueberry pancakes? JEANNIE Well, I've got French toast. DENNIS Oh, but everybody likes your blueberry JEANNIE Yes, they do. I can make you some Honey, are you up? GRAHAM I am now. MINDY Morning, Graham. DENNIS I'll help you after the commercial. JEANNIE Yeah. Yeah. GRAHAM Thank you for coming to join me on my bed. DENNIS Okay. Let's keep it down. He's trying to sleep. GRAHAM Oh, yeah. Now�s a good time to keep it down. I gotta pee. MINDY You want coffee? GRAHAM DENNIS There you go. All right. GRAHAM Yes, please. Ali, I gotta go. Come on. Your hair looks as good as it�s gonna look. Come on. Hurry up. Come on. Let's go. Ali. ALI Sounds like an emergency. GRAHAM Very funny. ALI Coming. GRAHAM Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta There you are. Thank you so much. ALI It's all yours. JEANNIE Sweetheart. MINDY Yeah. JEANNIE Is Heather not coming for sure? I've got her veggie bacon. Nobody else eats it. MINDY No. I told you she's doing Christmas with her family. JEANNIE I feel like it's because I didn't ask her myself. MINDY No. That's not why. JEANNIE I didn't ask her. That was wrong. MINDY No, no, no. She says hi. And she misses us JEANNIE You know what? I'm gonna give her a call. MINDY Please don't. Don't call her. JEANNIE No, I think that would work. MINDY No, no, no. JEANNIE Everybody likes to get a call. GRAHAM No, no, no, no, no. God! Where's the plunger? Code red! Code red! Code red! Code red! Get the towels! DENNIS What? GRAHAM I'll get the mop. GROUP DENNIS Okay. Nobody panic. I'll get the towels. I'll get the towels. I'll get the towels. Oh, I'll get the towels. Nobody panic. MINDY Did you not read the sign? GROUP DENNIS Didn't anyone read the sign? Why didn't you read the sign? GRAHAM There was no sign. DENNIS Get the towels! Save the carpet! ELLIOT That's a big puddle. Oh, my God. GRAHAM Don't let it out of the bathroom. MAN You're doing great, Dad. You're doing great. MINDY Can you stop filming and help us! DENNIS Stop filming! ELLIOT Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. DENNIS I'm gonna cram it up your ass! Get over here and plunge! ELLIOT Oh! My socks! It's getting wet! MINDY That was disgusting! DENNIS Don't worry about your socks. Save the carpet! MINDY Oh! GRAHAM Oh, God. So much water! DENNIS We need a plunger! ALI I got it! I got it. We're clear! GROUP MINDY Thank you, Ali. You are our hero. JEANNIE MINDY Mom! DENNIS Jeannie! JEANNIE Someone stole the baby Jesus. DENNIS Jeannie! GRAHAM Mom? DENNIS Jeannie? GRAHAM Mom, are you okay? JEANNIE Look! Someone stole the baby Jesus! GRAHAM Oh, Mom. My God, we thought you were hurt. JEANNIE I am hurt. My heart is being torn out of my chest. I've had that baby Jesus since before you were born. Who would do such an awful thing? GRAHAM I dunno. Probably just some teenagers, Mom. Or� or somebody new here who hates to see our family happy. ALI Hmm. JEANNIE What? DENNIS Graham, you're obviously talking about Ali. Ali is not new here. She's been with us for five years. She's not gonna steal the baby Jesus. DENNIS I didn't say anything. ALI You know what, I can go get one. Yeah, I'll pick one up from the store, put it in place, and meet you guys back at the lot, okay? JEANNIE Oh, Ali. DENNIS Oh. You're the best, Ali. JEANNIE You're a Christmas angel. You're saving the day. Thank you. Thank you. GRAHAM Oh, no. I'll go, Mom. I'll�I'll save the day. She won't know which one to get anyways, so. ALI I think I can manage. GRAHAM She can't. GRAHAM I know how to go to a store and shop. I have maternal instincts and ovaries, and... GRAHAM We haven't seen them. ALI And I know what babies look like. I don't know that he knows GRAHAM I'll go without ovaries. I'll pick the perfect baby Jesus. DENNIS Oh, for God�s sake, just both of you go. Here. GRAHAM Oh. There's a key in here somewhere. DENNIS That's right. GRAHAM Okay. DENNIS Have fun. GRAHAM Yeah, right. DENNIS Christmas crisis averted. JEANNIE Well, that's one off the list, anyway. I have a list, Dennis. ALI This is fine. We look normal, just act normal. GRAHAM We look great, okay? You look actually that looks nice. You're doing that was a compliment. What are you ALI It's fine. What? GRAHAM ALI So, does it have to be total war between us this entire holiday? GRAHAM Uh you know, I am tempted to say no, but hmm... yeah, probably. You never supported me. Why should I support you now? ALI What is that supposed to mean? GRAHAM What is that supposed to mean? ALI Real mature. GRAHAM Okay, you're here trying to steal my family. That's pretty mature. ALI I'm not trying to steal your family. Huh. You don't even like your family. GRAHAM I what? ALI You're dismissive of your family and dismissive of me. And my feelings. GRAHAM Wow. Well, I'm gonna dismiss that comment, okay? ALI Oh, God. GRAHAM And you can leave and surrender any time you want. ALI Never. Hmm. GRAHAM Never. Okay. What is going on here? Is this it? ALI Well, I think this is it. We've arrived at our options. This is, uh� GRAHAM Yikes. ALI Rubber ducky Jesus. Is this all right for a manger? GRAHAM This is sad. ALI This is the bottom the absolute bottom of the nativity barrel. GRAHAM Is that even a thing for sale? Or did someone just make it and put it in the bin? It might win. I got Tyrannosaurus Jesus. ALI Oh, this is quiet an ironic way to teach creationism. GRAHAM Oh, don't bring that up with Jeannie, okay? Just ALI Oh, no, I�m bringing it up. GRAHAM Don't bring it up. ALI These little arms GRAHAM She will kick you clean- you know what, bring it up with her. Talk to her about it, see what happens. ALI Oh, hmm. GRAHAM Okay? ALI This is big 'cause it cries. It belongs in the manger. GRAHAM That's generous. That is not a baby. ALI I don�t know, he's got a little diaper. GRAHAM Just �cause he's That's his robe! ALI And he makes a baby sound, listen. Wah! Can you believe that? What about you? GRAHAM All right. Make this guy roar. ALI Very nice. GRAHAM I gotta take this, hold on. Hello. Hey. Mister Tusk, yes? I know. Christmas Day, I know. Coming up fast. Yes, sir. I'm on it, okay? I will take care of it right away. Okay. Okay, bye. Ready? Okay, let's go. ALI Been ready. I'll hold them. GRAHAM I'll hold them. JEANNIE Well, Graham said it was slim pickings. DENNIS It's all they had left. Now, it looks like a little T-rex� JEANNIE Uh-huh. DENNIS �who won a pageant. JEANNIE There's nothing baby Jesus about it at all. DENNIS Well, it'll work for now. JEANNIE Yeah. DENNIS Oh. Oh, we're in trouble. JEANNIE Yeah. We're gonna burn in hell. Okay. Let's go get ready for that party. ALI Wow, I kinda forgot how big this thing is. GRAHAM Oh, yeah. It is the social event of the holiday season. ALI Oh, thank you. GRAHAM Thank you. ALI Oh, no. GRAHAM What? ALI Oh, no. D-d nothing. Shut up. GRAHAM Oh. What? ALI Shh! GRAHAM I almost forgot about your irrational hatred of goats. Hey, Santa! DENNIS Oh! GRAHAM Place looks great. DENNIS GRAHAM You're gonna move a ton of inventory this season! DENNIS Oh, I hope so. We got two mortgages on the house. GRAHAM Oh, boy. ALI But why the goat? DENNIS Well, we had to change things up after last year's fiasco with the bunnies. ALI But they were so cute. DENNIS Yeah, they were cute, but now there's like three hundred of them living in the park. What's wrong with goats? GRAHAM Hmm. She has an irrational fear after one of 'em headbutted her when she was a kid. She thinks they�re all evil. DENNIS Ahh... ALI They have rectangular pupils, Dennis. DENNIS You know what, forget about the goat. Why don't you say hi to the team. Hey, Brady! GROUP BRADY Graham! It's been a while, man! GRAHAM Yeah. Yeah, been a while. BRADY Who is this beauty by your side? GRAHAM Oh, Dennis, you know him. He's your boss. ALI Hi. BRADY Hi. ALI Uh, I'm Ali. Mayer. Uh, I'm not by his side. He's he's my� DENNIS Ex-fianc�. ALI Ex. BRADY Wow, Graham. You let her go? That was a big mistake. ALI GRAHAM No, no, no, no. Her mistake, actually. Yeah, she let me go, so. DENNIS Well, we didn't mean to interrupt you. I know you were telling a story to your friends there. BRADY No, no, no, no. I've lost my train of thought. DENNIS Ooh. GRAHAM Yeah. Well, talking is confusing. Uh, anyway, back to selling cars, I guess. DENNIS Okay. Well, wow. I think you're just being a little bit frosty here because you were offered a job here. You didn't take it. Brady got it. Now he's head salesman. BRADY Number one. GRAHAM Smells like number two. MINDY Mmm. And who could forget when Brady beat out Graham for captain of the hockey team in twelfth grade? BRADY And we won state that year. ALI MINDY Oh. Yes, you did. DENNIS Oh, and in ninth grade you both wanted to play the scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz. You got it, and you played the Mayor of Munchkinland. But you were so good. He was a lot smaller back then. GRAHAM Yeah. This has been so fun. You know what, I am going to go hang with the baby demon. DENNIS I'm gonna get back to sell some cars. MINDY Okay. You guys tried the eggnog? It's really good. Spicy. So, okay, you�re still doing that Okay. BRADY So, Ali, are you, uh ? MINDY Hey, you two have fun. BRADY Can I interest you in a ride? GRAHAM Good one, Brady. BRADY The ride of your life? ALI Um� GRAHAM There you go. Hey, you're pretty cute. Little bigger than I thought. This party sucks. JESS I couldn't agree more. GRAHAM I'm Graham. JESS I know, I'm Jess. GRAHAM What do you mean you know? JESS We actually went to school together. I was a few grades below you. You played hockey with Brady. GRAHAM Uh-huh. JESS You should've been captain that year. GRAHAM Thank you. JESS GRAHAM Thank you. That is the nicest thing anyone said to me in a long time. GROUP GRAHAM Do you want a drink? JESS Lead the way. GRAHAM Oh, one second. Okay, let's go. DENNIS Thank you so much for all coming out today. The reason for the season of course is love. JEANNIE Love. DENNIS That's exactly right. But it is also the time for a good deal with a fair price on automobiles. And just because they're used doesn't mean they're bad. JEANNIE It's like me. GROUP DENNIS Jeannie just does everything. You know, she painted the windows here. Took her two weeks. JEANNIE I I said, "Can we hire someone?" "No, they like the way you do it, Jeannie." DENNIS We really can't afford it. Jeannie is my own personal Santa Claus. And of course, nothing runs without her. GRAHAM Yeah, Mom! DENNIS Jeannie keeps the elves in check and the presents on time. And I just love her to death. GROUP Aww. DENNIS Now, we met at the U of M. JEANNIE Go, Gophers! DENNIS And specifically at a Christmas party, and that is why today has always been so special to all of us. And as you know, this is the season where we think about love and peace, and happiness. It's so important. JEANNIE And of course, family. That's what this is all about. Honey, it's family. Family, family. DENNIS Thank you so much to the carolers. And of course, Gumdrop the goat, whose real name�s Stingray. GROUP JEANNIE That's a Christmas present right there. Yeah. DENNIS Isn't that something? Well, I hope everybody has a good time. Eat, drink, and be merry! ALI Oh no. JEANNIE And buy some cars! DENNIS And buy some cars! ALI No, no, no. ALI No, no. WOMAN Oh, is she okay? ALI Good goat. Good goat. Good goat. WOMAN Ali, take off. ALI No. ALI What is it doing to me? JESS Your parents ended the night early. GRAHAM Yeah. Um, it�s kinda their anniversary, if you know what I mean. ELLIOT Every year they go home early for intercourse. GRAHAM Thank you, Elliot! Yeah, that's what I meant. JESS That�s very healthy! GRAHAM Yeah. ELLIOT The rest of us just come here to drink until the coast is clear. JESS Well, maybe it�s time for you to take me home, yeah? ELLIOT Oh, okay that's my cue to leave. ALI Hi. I'm Ali . JESS Jess, I've heard so much about you. ALI You have? What did you hear? GRAHAM You know�on that note, I'm gonna get another one. I don't even need one, but I think I should probably get another one. ALI So, Jess, I just wanna say, between us girls, I am so happy for Graham that he finally found someone who's okay with his, you know, little candy cane problem. Whoa� disappointed. But you know, he'll tell you that it's never happened to him before, and he just wants a little shoulder rub and a cuddle. JESS Well, you know what people say. Every couple has their own chemistry. BRADY Well, that's not chemistry, that�s� BRADY/ALI Physics. JESS Mm-hmm. ALI Has he told you he loves you yet? He'll tell you tonight. ELLIOT I wonder what she's saying about you, dude. MINDY Oh, thank you. Are you trying to tell me something? GRAHAM Melinda Persephone Stroop. MINDY You are such a buzzkill! GRAHAM What are you talking about? What are you doing? MINDY Oh, just enjoying my life! GRAHAM Enjoying your life cheating on Heather? MINDY I'm not cheating on Heather. I'm not cheating on Heather, by the way. I'm single. GRAHAM Oh, you're not cheating on Heather? What do you call that? QUINN This seems like a private moment. MINDY I'm single. Thank you. GRAHAM What are you talking about? MINDY Well, maybe if you actually asked about Heather, then you would know. GRAHAM How are things with Heather? MINDY We broke up. GRAHAM I'm so sorry. I know how much you love her. This must be so hard. MINDY Yeah. Sometimes love isn't enough. ALI Hey... GRAHAM Can you give us a second? MINDY It's okay. Ali knows. ALI Aw, sweetie. GRAHAM You told Ali. Why didn't you tell me? MINDY I dunno, because I was embarrassed to admit that, you know, my shit's as messed up as yours. I didn't want to Stroop down to your level stoop down to your level. QUINN Hi. Um, this might be bad timing, but that's my number. Uh, good kiss. Sorry. GRAHAM No, I'm sorry for interrupting. HORN-RIMMED Bye! GRAHAM She's single. MINDY Quinn. GRAHAM She's cute. MINDY She's really cute. ALI Mm-hmm. MINDY And I still got it. GRAHAM Okay. MINDY And I still got it. GRAHAM All right. We're gonna got you some water, okay? But I already like that girl more than Heather, so� MINDY Really? GRAHAM Yeah. JESS Here is my number. Maybe you could tuck me into bed later. BRADY Oh, wow. ALI Give me your phone. BRADY Oh, yeah, it's right ALI Here it is. It's locked. BRADY I�m sorry. ALI Okay. Here's my number. BRADY Oh, thank you. Ouch. GRAHAM Oh, my God, that was sexy. ALI Did you like that? BRADY I loved that. ALI It, like, loved you. GRAHAM Thanks, Mike. These are on him. Okay? ALI You'll call me? BRADY Yes. MAN No, no, no, one. You get one. You get one. BRADY I'm gonna call you right now. GRAHAM Okay. All right. Almost home. MINDY That was so much fun. GRAHAM Come on, yeah, yeah, yeah. MINDY Everyone shoes off. Shoes off. You gotta get shoes off of her and change. GROUP ELLIOT Okay. But actually, what if we wake Mom up 'cause she'll cook? MINDY Mom! GRAHAM Elliot! Elliot, God! MINDY It makes me so happy that we're all hanging out, but sad that you guys aren't getting back together. I want a little kissy. Give me a little kissy. Come on. GROUP ALI No, no�oh, God, oh, God! No, no. This way. This way! GRAHAM Someone get her water. ALI Get her hair! Get her hair! ALI I'm trying so hard here, Graham. I just I don't really know what else you want from me. GRAHAM Well, you don't talk about it. You just ALI I do, I do. I talked about it before, but you never listen to me because it's always about you and your job and your work. That's all anything is ever about. ALI Okay. So, I have a few ideas. GRAHAM Okay, hit me with them. ALI I dunno, I've been thinking about Frosti by Ali. GRAHAM Frosti? ALI Frosty like the Snowman. GRAHAM With �I's� instead of �Y's.� ALI Yeah. GRAHAM Al... Um, I love you so much, and I was gonna wait to do this. And I had this whole big thing. But I can't this is like I just gotta I love you so much. Will you marry me? ALI We're engaged! We're getting married! GRAHAM Whew. Oh, my God, look at my hands. ALI/GRAHAM GRAHAM All right. Who's ready for some male bonding? What are you doing here? DENNIS We invited her. A little "bonding" might do these two some good. ELLIOT Gross. ALI And I couldn�t give up the chance to spend some quality time with my favorite ex father-in-law DENNIS Thank you. GRAHAM No. No, no, no. Ali, this is a guy's trip, okay? It's about farting and burping and just telling stupid jokes. DENNIS Oh, settle down, Graham. We could use a little female energy in the Stroop shack. GRAHAM What are you talking about? The whole point of these trips is to avoid female energy. DENNIS Times change, and if you don't change with them, you're gonna end up marrying your own hand. ELLIOT He's meaning masturbation. GRAHAM Thank you, Elliot. I got that. ALI Oh, God. I don't wanna alarm anybody, but it looks like baby Jesus is missing again. DENNIS What? Oh, no! GRAHAM Oh, boy. ELLIOT I don't think we should tell Mom. GROUP No, no, no! GRAHAM Don't tell Mom. DENNIS No, no, no! ALI Let's just drive. DENNIS How's everything in L.A.? GRAHAM Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. L.A., it's warm. It's warm, and it's nice. Job is really good. DENNIS How about you, Ali? ALI Oh, good. So, my whole life is so perfect. I love my house, which is really more of a home as you can probably tell from all the FaceTimes. ELLIOT Very nice. GRAHAM I know. I got kicked out of it. DENNIS Darn it, I forgot my joint. ALI Oh, Dennis! I didn't know you were a c-c-cannabis c-connoisseur. DENNIS Well, my doctor prescribes it for chronic back pain. Well, he didn't really prescribe it. He handed it to me at a party. ELLIOT Mom can't stand the smell of weed. She only lets him do edibles in the house. DENNIS Are you two dating? Not each other, but are you dating? GRAHAM Yeah. Yeah, everyone. DENNIS Everyone? GRAHAM Yeah. Not discriminating against any dating app. Just going headfirst. ALI Wow, that's disgusting. DENNIS Well, everybody has different beliefs. I, for one, don't think COVID's real. ALI Do you mind pointing the heater towards me for a second there, Dennis, please? GRAHAM No, you don't have to do that. It's fine where it is. It's getting everybody, I think. DENNIS How's that? ALI Whoo! DENNIS Good? It's not a problem. There you go. There, are you happy? ALI Oh, God, yeah. That's good. ELLIOT Guys! I think I got something! ALI Oh! DENNIS Okay. Just be gentle. There you go, Elliot. Gentle, gentle. ELLIOT Aah! Help me! GRAHAM Don�t gentle! Reel it in fast! ELLIOT I'm trying! DENNIS No, no. Go gentle. ALI Can you please point it towards me. Can I please have it towards me? GRAHAM We're gonna have it for everybody. ALI Can I please have it? GRAHAM If you're so cold, maybe go back to California. ALI Graham! Let me have it. I'm freezing! DENNIS Okay, good. ALI Give me the damn heater! GRAHAM Fine! You want it? ALI What'd you do? GRAHAM What do you mean, what did I do? ALI What the hell? GRAHAM You asked for it, so I gave it to you! ALI We could've all been electrocuted. DENNIS This is the worst Christmas Eve I've ever had. DENNIS Well, I'm sorry we didn't tell you it was missing sooner. JEANNIE Mimosa? DENNIS I'd like a mimosa. JEANNIE Okay, let's go. Please save some of those for me to nibble on later. Just a few. MINDY No. 'Cause they add a nice crunch to it. JEANNIE I understand but I just like nibbling a little bit. MINDY Oh, still no luggage, I see. GRAHAM How can you tell? The, uh, ginormous pants or the itchy sweater? JEANNIE Oh, honey, I love it. It looks festive. GRAHAM It's the pants? It's festive, all right. Now, more importantly, where are Dad's Christmas cookies? I've been here two days and haven't had one. JEANNIE Well, you're not gonna see them because ever since Ali got that write up in L.A. Magazine, your dad decided too much competition. We're letting Ali do all the baking. GRAHAM What write up? JEANNIE What? ALI Just a profile thing. JEANNIE Oh, just a it was L.A. Magazine. It was huge. They said that ever since Ali took over Laila's Cafe it's become a Westside staple and that Angelenos are now hungering to see what she'll do next. GRAHAM Wow, someone memorized it. JEANNIE Yeah. GRAHAM That's great, Al. So, you quit your accounting job to bake? ALI Well, it was a long time coming. JEANNIE Yes, it was, missy. GRAHAM That's awesome. What are you gonna do next? Are you gonna do the bake truck? ALI Uh... well, thank you for remembering that. No, um well, I mean, maybe. I don't I don't know yet. MINDY What's stopping you? ALI Well, the plan was I was supposed to get a truck and fix it up, but the car guy who promised to help me do that� didn't. JEANNIE Oh, wh-what guy was that? MINDY It's Graham. It's Graham, Mom, you know? JEANNIE Sounds like a bit of a a jerk. GRAHAM He sure does, Mom. He sounds like a huge, huge jerk. And I bet he would love to help you out now if you needed me to look at a car. Just like as a friend and a one-time thing. ALI It's a little too late now. DENNIS Doo-doo-doo! The ham's in the smoker! MINDY Yay! ELLIOT Dad dropped it! DENNIS Okay. Snitches gets stitches, Elliot. ELLIOT You dropped it in the pool! JEANNIE It'll make it tastier. Listen, the dressing is done. So... maybe we could put on my favorite? DENNIS Basic Instinct? I'm kidding. White Christmas it is. JEANNIE Yeah, great. MINDY Yes, Rosemary Clooney was my first crush. ELLIOT Do I smell like turkey? GRAHAM So, Ali, is the whole food truck thing that is the food truck thing the re Okay. Something tells me you don't want to talk about it right now. Okay, fine. Fine, fine, fine. You wanna play that game. I will just have to concoct something unique and amazing that makes your dish taste like farts. ALI GRAHAM Oops, did I use all the butter on my dish? Sorry, Al. ELLIOT What is that? GRAHAM It's a cheese mix souffl�. ELLIOT Is that what it should look like? GRAHAM I don't know. It�s French. DENNIS Welp, looks like our special guest has arrived. Wouldn't be Christmas Eve without our number-one salesman. GRAHAM Why would you invite him? DENNIS Anyway, be nice. Can somebody get the door? GRAHAM I'll get it. Okay, I�ll get it. ALI I�ll get it. I�ll get it. GRAHAM Hey... Jess? JESS Hey, got your text. GRAHAM Right. The text that I sent you earlier. Great. BRADY Hey, bro. ALI Yes. JESS Oh, mistletoe. GRAHAM Huh, would you look at that. JESS Look at that. GRAHAM Okay. DENNIS Mm... Oh, boy. Got to tell you, Ali, these cookies are just jingling my balls in all the right places. GRAHAM Ew, Dad. BRADY/DENNIS Bells. Bells. JEANNIE I know what you mean. GRAHAM Well, I'm avoiding them. Trying to stay in shape, so. BRADY So, you actually chose the pear shape? ELLIOT Oh, snap! GROUP Oh! MINDY He went there. Okay. DENNIS Sooner or later, you're gonna get the Stroop chin. Now you see it. Now you don't. It's coming. It's coming your way in about ten years. JESS Well, I love your shape. And I stayed away from the sugar, too. GRAHAM Thank you, Jess. You're so sweet and funny and kind and beautiful. MINDY So good. Mmmm. Oh, yeah. GROUP GRAHAM Okay. Starting to sound a little pornographic in here. MINDY Oh, wow, these are so good! ELLIOT It's like all the food's just better this year. GRAHAM Yeah, food was great. I mean, it would've been better if we had fish for the Feast of the Seven Fishes, right, Dad? DENNIS That's your fault. JEANNIE DENNIS/JEANNIE DENNIS Oh, come on. Stop it. GRAHAM What is going on right now? ALI Well, Graham it's called fun. Do you remember? Fun? GROUP BRADY Damn, this is good. MINDY What? GRAHAM What the hell is wrong with you guys? ALI You don't know anymore how to have fun. JESS Do you feel okay? GRAHAM I feel fine. DENNIS You're so talented, Jeannie. ALI That is so realistic. GRAHAM What? Oh, my God, the cookies. ALI What? What about the cookies? GRAHAM You guys ate the cookies. You're freaking out. We didn't touch the cookies. We're fine. Ali poisoned you guys. She's trying to ruin Christmas. ALI No. GRAHAM Yeah. Ali ? ALI I I'm eating them, too. JEANNIE Wait, am I dying? ELLIOT Well, Mom, as soon as you are born, you start dying. DENNIS Ali , did you, uh by any chance make the cookies with this? ALI Yeah. The�the�the thick butter. JESS Oh, boy. GRAHAM Oh, Ali, you sweet dummy it's not thick butter. It's THC butter. DENNIS That's my bad back butter. GRAHAM Ali made the cookies with weed, Mom. You're all stoned. JEANNIE ALI Well, I just whoops. GRAHAM You gotta be kidding me. You hate weed! JEANNIE Honey, everything that God creates is perfect. So, if God created that, then it's perfect, and I'm down with the sticky icky. GRAHAM Oh, my God, this is why I can never win with this family. I get caught with a joint, I get grounded for a month. But Ali brings Woodstock to Christmas, and Mom's down with the sticky icky? JEANNIE Well, we were just trying to be good parents. GRAHAM No, I'm MINDY You are good parents. You're great parents. You're like the perfect couple on top of a wedding cake. GRAHAM Well, not something you'll have to worry about for yourself for a while. Oh, crap. MINDY Thank you, Graham. GRAHAM Sorry. JEANNIE What? What? Melinda? What does that mean? MINDY Heather and I broke up. JEANNIE What? MINDY She moved out last week. DENNIS Oh, honey. JEANNIE Oh... Mindy, I'm so sorry. MINDY Yeah. I'm sorry that I let you down. JEANNIE Oh, honey, didn't let me down. Can't let mommy down. Never, nobody can ever let mommy down. Mommy's always up. MINDY I just miss her, and I just feel like I should call her. I should call her. JEANNIE No, not now. GROUP MINDY Yes. I should tell her how I feel. Where's my password? I need to call her! JEANNIE Come here, sweetheart. MINDY Could you type in Heather? DENNIS Well, why don't we talk about it? Do it tomorrow. MINDY I need to tell her that I think that we could DENNIS Yeah. Let's just not do it today. ELLIOT I'm gonna go, too. Too much intergenerational trauma on display here. ALI Wow, Graham. You couldn't even sabotage me right. You know what I think? I think that you should just concede now and take a nice, safe flight back to L.A. because it's Christmas Eve, and that means it's your last chance. JESS Hey, why don't we get out of here? Give everyone a moment? GRAHAM Yeah. I think that's a good idea. The further away, the better. Don't forget your secret ingredient. BRADY Yeah, we should, uh we should probably head out, too. Let me take you somewhere I like to unwind. ALI Yeah. Yeah. Oh, they're gone. Let's go. JESS Do you want some gum? GRAHAM Sure. Minty. I took you for a cinnamon kinda girl. JESS I�m still trying to find out if you�re a little fruity. GRAHAM Oh, you know what they say: everybody's a little fruity. JESS Let's find out. GRAHAM What? JESS Hi. RANDY You want some gum? JESS Mm-hmm. GRAHAM Oh, uh you really like gum, huh? JESS Mm-hmm. Do you wanna come back to our place? GRAHAM Oh, your place? JESS This is Randy. He's, um, my roommate and special... friend. GRAHAM Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Um, one second, okay? Just one. JESS Oh, he's hydrating. I like that. I like it. I know you hydrate as well. GRAHAM Whew! Okay. Nope, can't do it. Okay, it's not you. It's me. You guys are great. You're both beautiful. It's awesome. You're gonna have a great time. Goodbye! BRADY Surprise. ALI Oh. Oh, this is where you come to unwind. BRADY Yeah. It's a place of man and metal and pistons and the smell of burnt gasoline. ALI Yeah. BRADY Four hundred and forty pound-feet of torque at two thousand RPM. Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom! Whew! It's like taking a gut punch as soon as you press on the gas. I'm sorry. I get carried away. I love my job. Uh ALI It's passion, and that's really that is something. BRADY Okay. Well, just know, if you're the one hitting the brakes on this bad boy, she stops from sixty-five in only a hundred and sixty feet. ALI Is that is that good? BRADY Is that good? It's great. Plus, you would look amazing doing it. And you can order it in a custom color to match your favorite purse. ALI Are you trying to sell me this car? BRADY Are you trying to buy it? I guess not. All right, well, lemme just lock up. And just so you know, I would've hooked you up with, like, a one-year manufacturer's warranty. GRAHAM Yes. No, sir. No, yeah, yeah. I get it. I get it. Thank you. I'm just saying, I don't really think it's realistic. It's Christmas Eve, and I yes, okay, Mister Tusk. I will figure it out. Yeah, Merry Christmas. Huh. ALI Ow! GRAHAM Ow! ALI What the hell? GRAHAM Oh, my God. What the hell are you doing in my room? ALI Wait, you gave it to me, remember? GRAHAM Now that you mention it, I do! Sorry! ALI What happened to what's-her-face, huh? Couldn't seal the deal? GRAHAM Oh, wouldn't you like to know? You know what, yeah, the deal was sealed except she had a friend, and he was not my type, so no. ALI Ah, shocker. Shocker, Mister Adventurous. GRAHAM Oh, how'd it go with Brady? Was he even into you? Or did he just want to sell you a car? ALI Yeah, no. He sold me a car, and he sold me on his height and his muscular build. GRAHAM Oh! ALI We're gonna ride off into the sunset together. We are in love now. GRAHAM That's great. You guys can have tiny little used car salesman babies. You want a Volvo? ALI Yeah, and they'll come for Christmas, too. GRAHAM God, I hate your face so much. ALI I hate you. You know what, you are such a dick! GRAHAM You are such a�I hate you! ALI I hate you so much! ALI/GRAHAM ALI This is so gross. GRAHAM I hate your bangs. ALI We are not having sex. GRAHAM Of course not. ALI I'm serious! GRAHAM Me, too. ALI No cuddling. GRAHAM Ew. ALI GRAHAM Just shut up. ALI GRAHAM ALI GRAHAM You still sleeping? ALI Shh. I'm sleeping. Be quiet. GRAHAM Mm-hmm. Should we talk about it? ALI No, no. No, I'm still sleeping. GRAHAM Okay, fine. You fake sleep, and I'll talk. Did you kick me out because of the whole food truck thing? ALI Well, you are drastically oversimplifying. But, yeah, I guess it was emblematic. GRAHAM Okay. Well, I I�ve been thinking, and, um... not that this makes it okay, but I think that maybe I was retaliating because I wasn�t getting the encouragement that I needed from you. I just�I� I feel like I wasn't always able to be there for you because I was working so hard to try and, you know, get promoted and and get bonuses, so that we could build the life that we wanted. And we'd get married, and have kids, and buy a house, and and travel. And um... I don't know. I just feel like I was doing all those things for us, and maybe I started to resent the fact that you weren't super excited about it. ALI Yeah. So, you were focusing on what you thought I needed, but what I really needed was you to just be with me. JEANNIE Merry Christmas. Ali, wakey, wakey! GRAHAM One second! Ow. What? ALI Get out! Just go! GRAHAM Ow! You get out! ALI You get out! I'm supposed to be here. This is my bed. GRAHAM Where are my clothes? ALI I don't know. Get dressed and hide! GRAHAM I'm putting some stuff on, okay? What do you mean, hide? ALI Shh! Shh! Shut up! JEANNIE Honey, I'm coming in. GRAHAM Shh! You shh! JEANNIE I'm coming in, Ali. GRAHAM Come on in! JEANNIE Merry Christmas, Ali. Graham? GRAHAM Yeah. JEANNIE Whatcha doing here? GRAHAM Bout to iron some clothes. JEANNIE This is Ali 's room. GRAHAM Yeah, we swapped for the night. She wanted the couch. I dunno. JEANNIE I didn't see her down there on the couch. GRAHAM I know, weird. That's fine. There, right there's good. Thank you. JEANNIE Honey, what's going on? You're not dressed yet for church. GRAHAM I know JEANNIE It's Christmas, Merry Christmas, sweetheart. GRAHAM Merry Christmas, Mom. That's why I had the�had the iron board out. Um, look I can't come to church, okay? I gotta finish my coding playthrough. It's not gonna take long. JEANNIE Graham, for heaven's sake, you're coming with this family to church. And don't worry, while you get ready, you and I are gonna have a little chat. GRAHAM Freeze. Deal, I'm in for church. JEANNIE Yeah. GRAHAM I'm pumped. But let's talk after. JEANNIE No, sweetheart. We need to do it now. GRAHAM Just careful. Right there is good. JEANNIE I think that we need, um, a little private chat about Ali, okay? GRAHAM Now? JEANNIE Yes, now. I just I just don't want her to hear, okay, honey? GRAHAM Well, then... we better be real quiet. JEANNIE Okay. GRAHAM Okay. JEANNIE All right. All I wanna say is... I know we shouldn't have kept her coming here a secret from you, so I do apologize for that. But I don't think that we're wrong to extend the invitation and be kind. GRAHAM Okay. Good talk. JEANNIE Now, a relationship, Graham, is a two-way street. GRAHAM Mm-hmm. JEANNIE And here's the thing harboring resentment is like eating a big bucket of fried chicken and then going for a swim. You sink! GRAHAM Mmm No. No JEANNIE Yes, it is. GRAHAM Yes, it is. You're right. It is. JEANNIE It is. You understand now? GRAHAM It's a weird metaphor, but I'm getting it. JEANNIE Okay. Well, let me explain this to you. When your father and I were first married, he practically lived at that dealership. I was alone twenty-four/seven with you kids, day and night. It was a lot. I finally had to say, "Dennis, honey, I need more than money in the bank. I need a partner." And not just somebody to talk to, somebody who's gonna listen to me. Somebody who understands how to make me happy. It's it's not just about achieving your goals. It's how you get there together that's important. And I said to your father, "If you're not gonna be that man, I'm gonna go out and find that man." I said that to your dad. GRAHAM You said that to Dad? JEANNIE I meant it. GRAHAM What did he do? JEANNIE Well... I don't know. It wasn't one magical thing. It was� It was everything, every day. He figured it out because he really wanted to. So, anyway, I guess the question is... do you want to? Okay, come with me. We're gonna go through your dad's closet for some clothes for church for you. I think there's a vintage suit in there that should fit you. ALI GROUP Joy to the world, the Lord is come! Let earth receive her King; Let every heart prepare Him room and heaven and nature sing. And heaven and nature sing. And heaven, and heaven, and nature sing. GRAHAM Ali. GRAHAM Ali. ALI Joy MINDY PRIEST May the peace of Christ, which surpasses all understanding, fill your hearts and homes this Christmas. GRAHAM Hey, go go ahead. Go ahead. We're just gonna�we're gonna hold back a little bit. Go, ahead. Go ahead. ALI What are you what are you doing? GRAHAM Look, there's plenty of the little crackers and the little wine for everyone. ALI No, I mean, why are you making a scene? GRAHAM I'm not making a scene, okay? Look, this morning with my Mom was a little awkward, okay? But last night was... WOMAN Seriously? ALI I'm so sorry. GRAHAM I'm sorry. Great earrings. Great earrings. ALI Can you just spit it out? GRAHAM Last night was amazing! ALI GRAHAM Yes? OLD WOMAN In church? GRAHAM No, at home. What? ALI Keep your voice down. GRAHAM Am I wrong? ALI Yeah. Okay, we had sex. GRAHAM Okay. ALI You're acting like I humped some sense into you. GRAHAM Well, I don't know, maybe you did, okay? I'm starting to realize where we went wrong. And I think that I can forgive you. ALI Oh, forgive me? Okay. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe I should be the one to forgive you? GRAHAM JEANNIE Oh, I think I know what it is. Oh, please. Oh, please. Yes! I got a Soda Stream. Oh, this is what Mude and Margie have. Oh, no. You don't know how happy I am. DENNIS Oh, Ali, you did not! How did you remember I wanted new hockey gloves? ALI Because you won't be quiet about it. DENNIS That's fantastic. GROUP Aww! ALI Merry Christmas everyone, really. DENNIS Uh-oh. Who's that? ELLIOT I can get it. DENNIS Did you invite your sister? JEANNIE Oh, honey, no. I wouldn't do that to you. I wouldn't do that to any of us. DENNIS Hey, Brady! JEANNIE Brady, what a nice surprise. What are you doing here? BRADY Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. So, I volunteer for the for the Knights of Columbus, and every year we return lost bags from the airport so that people can have a nice holiday. ALI Oh, my God, that's so nice. ALI/JEANNIE/MINDY Aww. BRADY And when I saw whose bag this was, I had to take it back to G-Man. GRAHAM Thank you. MINDY Ooh! DENNIS That's why you're my number-one salesperson. Number one, right there! ELLIOT Wait! This means Graham can give us all his gifts now! GRAHAM Yeah. DENNIS Did you have time to do it? GRAHAM Right in here. ALI Oh, wow. Yay. GRAHAM Yay is right. But I haven't wrapped them yet, so. ELLIOT Yeah. ALI Oh, that's okay. Just open it up and hand them out. GRAHAM Okay. ALI We're sure they're great. GRAHAM Drumroll, please. ELLIOT I don't want to know. No, I want to know. I really want to know. GRAHAM Okay. Um, well� MINDY Oh, thank you. GRAHAM And one for you. JEANNIE Thank you, honey. GRAHAM And you. DENNIS Thanks. ELLIOT And one for you. MINDY Oh. GRAHAM Wow, all right. MINDY Neck pillows. GRAHAM Neck pillows, you got it. ALI It's nicer than I even expected. GRAHAM DENNIS This would be good for Maria at work. She can sit on it. JEANNIE Since the operation. DENNIS Yeah. GRAHAM Well, it's for your neck, not her ass. JEANNIE Well... DENNIS It could be for both. JEANNIE �you can talk when you've had a hemorrhoid removed. MINDY Oh, �Lax.� Lax is the designer. Do you know do you know those those guys? I feel like they're Italian or something? DENNIS It's like LAX, like the airport. ALI Oh, right. Fancy. GRAHAM You know, it was a last-second trip, so it was either that or uh� one of those crossword books. ALI It�s the afterthought that counts. BRADY You know what, I'm gonna let you guys enjoy the neck pillows. JEANNIE No, no, no, Brady GRAHAM Oh, no, don't go. JEANNIE Honey, have a seat. I'm gonna grab you a coffee, join us. What can I get for ya? BRADY Yes? BRADY That's very sweet of you. I'm gonna hit the road. DENNIS Jeannie makes amazing blueberry pancakes. GRAHAM Dad, shut your face. MINDY Brady, we're about to play some hockey. You should totally join us. DENNIS Yeah! BRADY Hockey? MINDY Yeah. BRADY On Christmas? It'll be like old times, man. GRAHAM Yeah, it would, but I mean, it's Christmas. I'm sure you have other people to see and things to do. BRADY No, no. This was my last stop. My gear is in the car. GRAHAM Of course, it is. BRADY Let�s do this. GRAHAM How great for all of us. BRADY I'll see you guys at the rink. MINDY Okay. BRADY All right, this is gonna be awesome. JEANNIE See you, Brady. BRADY Best Christmas. GRAHAM I am so pumped about it. ALI I can't wait to watch him humiliate you just like when you were a kid. GRAHAM Great. Whose turn to open a present? DENNIS We got something for you right here, Graham. Why don't you have that? GRAHAM Is this one actually for me? What is it? DENNIS Well, maybe a new attitude. GRAHAM Ooh, I hope it's not another ex. JEANNIE Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la. DENNIS That's right. Hold it in. Just hold it in. JEANNIE Hold it in, Jeannie, hold it in. BRADY Just like old times, huh? GRAHAM I feel like you used to be bigger. BRADY ALL MINDY Oh! What was that? GRAHAM Whoo! Come on, Brady! BRADY Whatcha doing down there? Come on, baby. Don't be a sore loser. SPECTATORS MINDY Go, Mom! JEANNIE I didn't hurt you, did I, honey? BRADY No, no, that's fine. JEANNIE Okay. Come on! BRADY I'll just take a I'll take a breather. Right here. DENNIS Come on, let's go! GRAHAM All right, block her, Dad. Brady, take one of them out. JEANNIE Mama's coming! DENNIS Yeah, Brady, that's it. MINDY Whoa! DENNIS Graham, you suck! JEANNIE Whoo! MINDY Okay. Next goal wins! GRAHAM Okay, you take out Dad. JEANNIE Uh-huh. GRAHAM I'll get the puck. JEANNIE 'Kay. GRAHAM I'll score. JEANNIE Okay. You getting hungry? GRAHAM No. JEANNIE Okay. I'll fix you something after. GRAHAM Mom, I love you, but you gotta get your head in the game, okay? JEANNIE Okay. I will. Taking out Dad. Taking out Dad. Let's go. GRAHAM Take out Dad. I gotcha. Come on, old man. DENNIS Ha, ha, yeah, hang on. I'm not as young as I used to be. Ooh. GRAHAM All right. Run some interference, Mom. Take Dad out! JEANNIE Look out, baby! DENNIS I'm coming for you, Jeannie. I'm coming for you, Jeannie. Look out! Get 'em! GRAHAM Come on, keep up, old guy. DENNIS Oh, God. SPECTATORS GRAHAM Oh, I'll take that, Dad, thank you very much. DENNIS Oh. ELLIOT Oh, get up, Dad! GRAHAM No, no, no, no. Get up. Whoo! How's it feel, Brady? Let's go. MINDY Dad? ELLIOT Dad? Um? MINDY Dad? Dad? ELLIOT Dad? MINDY Dad? JEANNIE Honey? MINDY Dad? JEANNIE Honey? GRAHAM Dad? JEANNIE Dennis? MINDY Dad? Oh, my God. ALI Graham! Graham! MINDY Dad! GRAHAM Look out. Flip him over. Roll him over. Roll him over. JEANNIE Be careful, okay? GRAHAM Okay. Help me with his helmet. Watch his head. JEANNIE Oh, my God. GRAHAM I don't have a pulse. Ali, call nine-one-one. Tell them a sixty-three-year-old man had a heart attack. We're at the ice arena on Williston Road. JEANNIE Come on, sweetheart. We're right here. Please, Dennis. GRAHAM ...six, seven, eight, nine, ten� ALI I'm with a sixty-three-year-old man who's had a heart attack. No, he's unconscious. JEANNIE Oh, Graham. ALI My fianc�'s doing CPR. JEANNIE Honey? Come on, Dennis. Come on, come on, sweetheart. Oh, God. ALI At the ice hockey arena on Williston. Please hurry. BRADY You got anything? JEANNIE Come on, honey. Come on, open your eyes. Open your eyes, sweetheart. Come on, it's Jeannie. Dennis, it's Jeannie. Please, please. ELLIOT Dad. Dad. ALI It�s okay. JEANNIE Come on, Dennis, please. Oh, my God. GRAHAM EMT All right, Dennis, we're gonna get you in the back of the ambulance now. GRAHAM You're gonna be okay, Pop. EMT Three, two, one, go. DOCTOR The Stroops? GRAHAM Yeah. DOCTOR Hi. GRAHAM Hi. DOCTOR Are you all family? GRAHAM Yes. DOCTOR Okay, great. So, good news is you saved his life. Without the CPR, that would've been it. He's suffered a sudden cardiac arrest. Probably caused by an irregular heart rhythm. JEANNIE Is he awake? Can we see him? DOCTOR He's awake. He's doing fine. But we still have a lot of tests to do. So, maybe just one of you right now. He's asking for Jeannie? JEANNIE Oh, that's me. DOCTOR Okay. Come on. ALI You saved his life. GRAHAM Hello. Hi, Mister Tusk. Yes, of course, I know what day it is. It's Christmas. Yes, I know what that means. You know what? I quit. Merry Christmas. ALI Well, that was... GRAHAM Yeah. ALI Wow. GRAHAM Yep. ALI Okay. GRAHAM Okay. I don't have a job but that's okay. ALI Are are you sure? GRAHAM Yep. Yeah. Yeah, I gave that job way too much time. I-I should've been spending time with my dad and my family and the people that I love. If he had died, I just, I� I never would've stopped thinking about all the time I wasted. I just, I give him such a hard time, and he's just the best. He's always trying to just make his family happy. I'm such a horrible person. ALI No, no. You're not. You're really... you're really not. Listen, this whole stupid game has gotta stop. It's gone too far. You almost lost a parent. I know what that's like. They're your family, Graham. You win. And I'm sorry that I wasn't honest when I was becoming unhappy. I was afraid. I thought if I told you the truth, you would walk away. So I did it first. GRAHAM I'm sorry. I screwed up. ALI We both did. Can we forgive each other? GRAHAM You're gonna find someone amazing...who deserves you. ALI You, too. JEANNIE Dennis, did you take your pills, sweet pea? DENNIS Yes, honeybun. ALI Okay, guys. Stroops, it's time I hit the road. ELLIOT Already? ALI Yeah. Okay. Aww. JEANNIE Thank you for coming, honey. ALI Oh, thank you. JEANNIE You know it's not Christmas here without you. ALI Aw, I feel the same. DENNIS So good to have you here. ALI Thank you. You take care of yourself, okay? DENNIS I will. I promise. ALI Take it easy. DENNIS I will. GRAHAM Oh, he's got Nurse Graham here for another few days. DENNIS Don't be a stranger. JEANNIE Okay. MINDY Well, there's always next Christmas or Valentine's Day... ALI Oh. We'll see. GRAHAM I guess this is goodbye again. ALI I guess it is. Oh. Okay. Well... Thank you all for everything. Okay. Merry Christmas. I love you all. GROUP We love you, too. GRAHAM Love you, too. ALI Bye. ALL Bye. [sigh] MINDY Empty... JEANNIE Good one, Mind. ELLIOT Can I pass? This is depressing. JEANNIE Yeah, where did our Christmas spirit go? MINDY With Ali, back to L.A. DENNIS Yeah. I didn�t want to say anything, but ELLIOT I can text her to come back. DENNIS Jeannie and I could call from the landline. Everybody always picks up when we call from the landline. GRAHAM Guys, she's not coming back. I screwed up. I gotta talk to her. I gotta talk to her in person. DENNIS What? At the airport? GRAHAM Yep, at the airport. MINDY Okay. Well, we're coming with you. GRAHAM What? Why? MINDY Because we love her. Not how you love her. Well, sometimes after one or two drinks I think about it, but it's not that way. JEANNIE Okay. Because we can use the carpool lane. DENNIS Ah! Let's take the Datsun! It's faster than than Rudolph. JEANNIE Okay. You're not driving. DENNIS Okay, you drive. GRAHAM No, guys. I'll drive. Let's go, come on. DENNIS All right. Let's do it. GRAHAM Okay. Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! ELLIOT Go, go, go! DENNIS Those pills are making my feet fat. Come on, okay, we're getting there. JEANNIE You wanna step in there. GRAHAM You guys wanna come? DENNIS Yeah. We're ready. To the Datsun! GRAHAM It's tight in the car. Come on. DENNIS Everybody get in. JEANNIE Okay. DENNIS We can do it. MINDY Go, go, go! JEANNIE Going, going. MINDY Come on. DENNIS I don't wanna be in the middle. GRAHAM Oh, my God, get in the car! GROUP DENNIS All right. Everybody in. Everybody in. Start her up. Start her up. GRAHAM Okay, here we go. MINDY Go, go, go! DENNIS Okay. Press on the gas. Press on the gas. MINDY Now, now! GRAHAM I am! I am! DENNIS Okay. Third time's the charm, baby! MINDY Let's go! ELLIOT No! DENNIS Okay. To the wagon! MINDY To the wagon! Move it, move it, move it. JEANNIE Get out, Elliot! GRAHAM Mom, I got ya. Come on. JEANNIE Oh. Thanks, honey. GRAHAM Come on, come on. I know. JEANNIE I'm so glad I took Pilates. GRAHAM/ALI Hi. I just GRAHAM I wanted I was coming to ALI Okay. I no, I just GRAHAM Can I go? ALI Okay. GRAHAM Wow. I thought I was gonna have a couple of minutes in the car to figure out exactly how to say this JEANNIE Just say it, honey. GRAHAM Okay. Ali, I'm an idiot. DENNIS He's such an idiot. GRAHAM My priorities were so out of whack. MINDY Oh, my God, it was like, "What's important?" ELLIOT It's super whack. MINDY �I don't know what's important. This, that�" GRAHAM Okay, guys, can we�? MINDY What's up? You wanna okay. GRAHAM I'll take this one. MINDY Your thing. ELLIOT Yeah. GRAHAM Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. MINDY Hey, good luck. GRAHAM Thank you. Ali� all I want is to figure things out with you. And if you let me, I promise I will do anything I can to be there for you, to make you laugh, to make you smile. I will be there every day. This Christmas was, um, a little bit crazy. But I can�t imagine another Christmas without you. Ali, you�re a part of this family, and if you gave them the choice, they would probably choose you over me. So, I�d prefer we didn't give them that option. I'm so crazy in love with you. Can you give me another chance? ALI I just came back 'cause I forgot my phone. GRAHAM Oh. Oh, okay. ALI I�m just kidding. GRAHAM I hate you. ALI I love you. GROUP Aww. GRAHAM Okay. JEANNIE It's okay. It's okay. We're not looking. Aww. Hey, hey! Stop! DENNIS Oh, oh, that's Homer! It's Missus Snyder's dog. Bad dog! Bad dog! GROUP MINDY What? GRAHAM Dad, careful! JEANNIE Slow it down. ELLIOT Dude, he's so fast. JEANNIE Dennis...I�slow down. DENNIS Oh, we gotta see this. ELLIOT Oh, the whole time! MINDY ALI Oh. GRAHAM Come on. MINDY What? DENNIS Oh, he's really tearing through those things. Oh, that's a bad dog. JEANNIE Oh, I can't watch. GRAHAM Well, we got plenty of baby Jesuses, Mom. JEANNIE Oh, my goodness. DENNIS Oh. JEANNIE You know, maybe he's just hungry. GRAHAM Yeah. Make him a snack, for sure. JEANNIE I should fix him something. I will. DENNIS He's definitely hungry. JEANNIE I'll fix something for you, honey. DENNIS Make him some blueberry pancakes. GRAHAM Oh, I think it's eatin� the duck. DENNIS Merry Christmas! GROUP ALI Your first L.A. Christmas! I'm so excited. MINDY This is Quinn. QUINN Hi. ALI I've heard so much about you. DENNIS Isn't she something? We like her so much better than Heather. MINDY Dad! DENNIS I'm sorry, but we do. MINDY You can't say that. DENNIS Well, I'm sorry. It's just true. QUINN Thank you. ALI Welcome. Welcome to the family. Welcome to L.A. Come in. DENNIS Wait a minute, where's Graham? What? Is he still asleep? ALI He said he had to get some work done. But he'll be back soon. JEANNIE No, he's not working at Christmas. He's his own boss, finally. He can make his own hours! DENNIS Uh-oh. What's that? ALI What? Okay. Wha wait a second. Hey, is that? GRAHAM Yeah. I mean, it's just a little starter truck to get you going. ALI Graham... this is the cutest little truck I've ever seen. Thank you. GROUP JEANNIE Look at these adorable�! MINDY Oh, it�s a puffer fish! ALI This is amazing. GRAHAM Well, I'm sorry it took so long. ALI Oh. Well� better late than never. GRAHAM Merry Christmas. ALI Aww. Merry Christmas. GRAHAM I love you. ALI I love you, and I I should probably let you know that I am engaged. GRAHAM Oh, my God! My eyes. He has great taste, and I bet he is gorgeous. ALI Yeah, not much behind those blue eyes. JEANNIE I don't mean to be pushy, but it's game night. Come, come. GRAHAM All right, let�s go, let�s go. MINDY Game night! GROUP DENNIS It really turned out great. GRAHAM It turned out great, I know. ALI Don't take it too far. MINDY Oh, yes. She really does. DENNIS That paint job really came out nice. QUINN I can't wait to see the house. DENNIS It's like a what color is it? Like an off-white kind of a thing? GRAHAM Yeah, egg shell. Something like that. ALI No, no you should be scared. GROUP DENNIS Oh, wow, you got a whole bunch. GRAHAM I got it, I got it. ALI I'm making blueberry pancakes this year. DENNIS So, Mom, has been smoking marijuana every night. JEANNIE I mean, it was all downhill after dinner. DENNIS It's gotten really out of Really, kinda got out of hand. MINDY Heather? GRAHAM Guess who's here? GRAHAM Heather, I'm so glad you could make it. You know, we stay in touch, DMs, Wordle. Even sent her an edible arrangement. Merry Christmas. MINDY Graham... what the fu