AFGHAN AFGHAN_PUP ALSATIAN_PUP ASSISTANT BOY CHILDREN COWS COW_1 COW_2 FATHER FOX GIRL MOTHER PETER RATS RAT_1 RAT_2 RAT_4 SCRUFF SHEEP SHEEP_2 STRUMMER STRUMMER_THE_FLEA ASSISTANT People just want pure breds, pedigrees, show dogs...That’s what’s in..... ASSISTANT My clients don’t want any old mutt, he’ll throw to the lions. Don’t send me this rubbish ever again... ALSATIAN PUP Hey, you mut, you’d better get used to the idea that some lion will soon be feasting on your soft flesh... AFGHAN PUP You mongrels always end up in the lions den...It’s a real dog’s life if you don’t have a pedigree... ALSATIAN PUP I have good breeding, I’m an Alsatian. My dad was a champion and my mum was a triple champion. AFGHAN PUP I’m an Afghan hound. My parents lived in the sultan’s place in the Far East. AFGHAN PUP And who are you? SCRUFF Well... just a little pup... And I can’t remember who my parents were... AFGHAN PUP-ALSATIAN Hah hah hah! AFGHAN PUP Nobody will ever buy you, you little nobody... ALSATIAN PUP We, on the other hand, shall soon be living it up in a mansion with a fire place... AFGHAN PUP And we’ll have central heating in our kennels... FATHER Good afternoon, my children have fallen in love with one of the pups in the window. You know what kids are like... ASSISTANT Wich one are you referring to, the one on the right or on the left? FATHER No, no, the one in the middle, that really cute one... FATHER We’ll look after him really well, he’ll have a heated kennel... ASSISTANT I don’t care how you look after him, Sir. Pay for him and just take him away, in that order... FATHER Not so fast, not so fast... How much is he? ASSISTANT Hmmmm, do you know what? I’ll give him to you for nothing, that’ll leave me some free room... BOY Hah hah! Daddy, mummy, the doggie’s tickling me! Hah hah! FATHER Now we really are a big family... MOTHER Be careful, Raúl, the dog isn’t made of rubber... BOY Look, doggie, this is for you... GIRL Give him to me. It’s my turn! BOY No, no way! He’s mine! FATHER If you keep on playing with him you’ll wear him out! GIRL Daddy bought the dog ‘cos I wanted one! So he’s mine! FATHER Children, stop squabbling! You can both look after the doggie... BOY Can we play with the dog? MOTHER No, it’s time for lunch. You can play with him later. GIRL Close the door. We don’t want any creepy crawlies getting in to annoy our doggie... SCRUFF Hey, you, fancy wings, don’t go so fast, I want to play with you! Gotcha! Hah hah, what fun! GIRL I told you to close the door! BOY But I did... CHILDREN Mummy, daddy, the dog’s gone! BOY Doggie, where are you? FATHER Come on, doggie, out you come! SCRUFF Bye-bye, fancy-wings, they’re calling me. I have to go. MOTHER Come on, Where are you? GIRL Here doggie! MOTHER We didn’t even give him a name... SCRUFF Hey, don’t leave me! I want to go with you! I want to be your dog! I want to be... your dog... On, oh... why did I have to go off and chase those butterflies! SCRUFF ¡Nooooooooooooooo! Can I be your dog? Ouch! Aaaaah! Eeuugghh! I wonder what is that big light that doesn’t fall dawn. FOX Psst, psst.…Take it easy, scaredy cat... SCRUFF I’m no scaredy cat! FOX “The night is quite if you’re brave. The night is noisy if you’re afraid, the saying goes. SCRUFF That must be why I hear nothing... FOX Then your doing just fine. You are a dog. Who is your master? SCRUFF I don’t have one and I don’t needone. I’m my own master and I don’t need anybody. FOX Then I’ll leave you alone... ...I thought you might be in need of some help but I see I was wrong... . It’s been a pleasure. My name is White Socks...But if you would deign to accept some advice this humble Fox would advise you to look for a place where humans live... Look for a home...Dogs that live with humans have a cushy life... SCRUFF What is a cushy life? FOX Eat every day and have a warm bed. How does that strike you? I hope you’ll take my advice, so remember you owe me one pup. SCRUFF “The night is quite if you’re brave. The night is noisy if you’re afraid”. STRUMMER Pss, you, over here! SCRUFF Who... who’s talking to me now? STRUMMER Me, young man... Can you see me now? STRUMMER You really should be at home, young man. Don’t you know it’s dangerous to be out and about at this time? SCRUFF I have no home. I’m lost. STRUMMER Shhh! If “they” hear you then you really will be lost! SCRUFF They!? Who are “they”? STRUMMER The night hunters...The animals that come out at night to hunt... STRUMMER ... for a delicious morsel like you...Ciao, I’m out of here. SCRUFF I have to get out of here. But where can I go, where? A house...A human will arrive sooner or later... STRUMMER “Hey, partner, I’m Strummer, the sassiest flea in the house. As of now, we are going to be inseparable...” “Hey, partner, give up. Destiny has brought your hide and me together. As of today we’re going to be inseparable”... “Hey, partner, you stand to gain a lot. I’ve lived in a lot of dogs...I’m the experience that you need”. STRUMMER THE FLEA “Oh, it’s great here in the hut, hut.., in this hut, hut... Nice and warm, nice and comfy, comfy, comfy,...Tomorrow will be a new day, day, day day day, another day it will be, be, be...And a human being will come, come, come..” SCRUFF Hey?! Who are you? RAT 1 You’ll soon find out, boy will you find out you little fluff off ball... SCRUFF I beg your pardon. I didn’t mean to trouble anyone, I just needed some sleep... RAT 2 And you think that saying sorry will get you off the hook! SCRUFF I didn’t want to offend you, I swear... RAT3 Well offend us you did. You’d better believe it! RAT 4 We are very very offended! SCRUFF Well, I’ll go somewhere else then. I don’t want to trouble you any further... RAT 1 Just a second! Who gave you permission to leave, Fluffball? RAT 2 Yes, who do you think you are to just walk off like that? STRUMMER I think it’s time to start looking for a new home. This guy’s time is up. RATS Tee hee. Watch where you’re going, stupid! SCRUFF You’d better leave me alone, otherwise I’ll... RAT 1 Or you’ll what, Fluffy? SCRUFF My... name isn’t... Fluffy... RAT 1 Oh no, then what is your name “stupid”, “bozo”, “skinny”? SCRUFF I... haven’t got one yet... but when I do it won’t be any of those ones... STRUMMER He was very comfortable and clean... Never before had I seen a finer head of hair... SCRUFF ¡Uhhhhh! RATS Hah Hah, boo hoo, we’re terrified! RAT 1 I’ll give you what for! SCRUFF Woof! RAT 1 There’s no need to take it like that... SCRUFF Woof woof woof! RAT 1 It’s OK, we got the message the first time round! STRUMMER That’s right, run for your lives you yellow-belly rats! Off with you before I give you what you deserve. It’s a good thing I didn’t see them earlier...! STRUMMER How could a small body like yours bark as loud as that? SCRUFF I don’t know... It’s the first time it’s happened to me... STRUMMER You know what, my boy? I think I’d better sleep next to you, for your own safety, you understand... SCRUFF I’ll keep watch just in case they come back... STRUMMER When you want me to take over, count to one hundred before you wake me up... and when you’ve finished count to a thousand again... Time to get up! Today could be a great day, so there’s no time to be wasted! I hate to have to do this but...Ahhhhhhhhhh! Take it easy, buddy. It’s just little old me, the bug that looks after your hair. SCRUFF For one moment I thought those nasty rats were back... STRUMMER I had a look around and they’re nowhere to be seen... I’ve been checking out the house... The humans must have lived here some time ago, but it’s been abandoned for years now We’ll have to hit the road again. If we follow it we’ll come to some humans home...where we’ll find: food, safety, shelter... SCRUFF What is a road? STRUMMER It is a line the humans use to come and go... and we are going to walk along it... So... let’s go! Hey, young man, what’s up? SCRUFF I feel so weak... I need food... STRUMMER It’s lucky that dogs don’t like fleas! Come on, don’t make me drag you away! Eh?! Let’s go! They both slip out through a hole in the door. We see them walk away along the road, through the hole. “Last night, a brave dog won the day, he merely had to bark, oh, oh, oh...” “Dozens of evil rats crawled out of the dark with their sharp-pointed teeth, and crawled back into their holes with their tails between their legs” COW 1 It appears that this dog scared off hundreds of rats... COW 2 How brave, you don’t scare off thousands of rats just like that! SHEEP What happened? STRUMMER “Last night, a brave dog won the day, he merely had to bark, oh, oh, oh...” COW 1 Three moos for our new hero! COWS Moooo! Moooo! Moooo! STRUMMER “If you have trouble with Rats, don’t think twice, Scruff will save you, a dog with guts, give him time and he’ll grow, and nobody will be able to beat him”... SHEEP Apparently he scared off millions of Rats... SHEEP 2 I’ll say baaa to that... STRUMMER “Last night, a brave dog won the day, he merely had to bark, oh, oh, oh...” SHEEP Baaaaa! FOX Well done, young man.... SCRUFF Thanks... SCRUFF Hey, Foxy, is this the same place where you were last night. FOX It certainly is hero... I’m afraid you’ve been walking round in circles... FOX Find a home, don’t forget... SCRUFF Sshhh! STRUMMER THE FLEA “Last night, a brave dog won...” SCRUFF Yes, I might be brave, but I’ll die of hunger first... STRUMMER THE FLEA Hold on, civilisation is nigh...Hey, what the ...?! What are you doing?! Hang on, you can’t eat that! Or that...! Land ahoy!, I mean civilisation ahoy! There are always human beings near pop cans... STRUMMER Yaawwwn!... Under no circumstances should you stray from the road We’ll eventually make it somewhere, just you wait and see, partner! All roads lead somewhere, don’t forget that. Yaawwwn!... That was a free tip, so there’s no itch for that... Now what I’d really like is a nice little nap... PETER La, la, la, la....!La, la, la, la....! SCRUFF Strummer, Do I really have to stick to the road? Strummer... PETER La, la, la, la....! Damn rabbits! Hey bunny, I didn’t mean to...Do you realise what you have done, whippersnapper?! Those were the first mushrooms of the year! Do you know how hard it is to find them?!... PETER Or maybe you’re good at finding them... If some dogs are good at finding truffles, then there might be dogs that are good at finding mushrooms. Look at yourself, you’re a complete mess. I’m going to call you Scruff, cause you’re all scruffy. STRUMMER From now on, you’ll be known as Scruff, so you won’t forget your mission in life: to find mushrooms for your master Peter to eat. Congrats, Scruff! Now you’ve got a name, a master and a house Can’t you smell food?! 1