AMETHYST MONSTER PERIDOT STEVEN AMETHYST oooh… hey there, girl. yo steven! this a bad time? STEVEN of the three things i have to do in the sink now, this is the one i least mind you seeing. AMETHYST ugh, peridot is still depressed all up in your b-room? STEVEN yeah… she still hasn’t gotten over lapis leaving and taking the barn with her into space. STEVEN i think she just need a little more time to herself. AMETHYST nope, that’s it, we’re getting her out. STEVEN wait, amethyst! STEVEN uh, peridot? you…feeling any better? PERIDOT uugghhh. STEVEN so, heh, what have you been up to? STEVEN i, uh, couldn’t really hear you there. PERIDOT uh, huh. nothing. STEVEN you’ve been in this bathroom kind of a long time. maybe you should get some fresh air? PERIDOT what’s the point? STEVEN to feel better? AMETHYST come on peridot! i can’t stand seeing you like this. PERIDOT like what? AMETHYST dude, let’s just get out of the house! we could go check out my old kindergarten! we met all those other amethysts up in space, and they all came out of the same rock as me. i’ve been meaning to get a look at the old neighborhood now that i’ve met the neighbors. STEVEN that sounds fun. what do you say, peridot? AMETHYST you can make us feel dumb by telling us all the stuff we don’t know! PERIDOT i miss that. AMETHYST great, it’s settled! let’s get out of the bathroom. PERIDOT can i bring- PERIDOT my music? AMETHYST no. PERIDOT eugh. why exactly are we taking this outdated, clackity ship there? the prime kindergarten has a very convenient warp pad. AMETHYST ehh, we’re taking the scenic route! STEVEN c’mon, peridot! take a look at the beautiful countryside! PERIDOT no. your efforts to entrance me with earth’s beauty are pointless. my sector of countryside was perfect. now it’s somewhere in space. just let me know when we get there. AMETHYST good ol’ kindergarten! just the way i left it! aaw, some things never change! gah, actually…everything’s different now! man i-i used to think this place was full of empty holes, but now it’s like—it’s empty with holes which were once full! all those amethysts i met in space— they were all here! while i was right there in the ground. but now i can finally start putting some faces to holes! hohohoh, lets see… hup! this musta been 8xj! ooh! 8xk! 8xl! PERIDOT actually the order goes from top to bottom. that’s 8xj. AMETHYST really? PERIDOT yes, curly hair right? AMETHYST yeah! how’d you know? PERIDOT you can tell from the iron deposits in the formation there. and that’s 8xl down below. AMETHYST woah, that’s pretty amazing, dot. PERIDOT this used to make sense to me. i thought life was generated in a kindergarten. formless, aimless energy channeled into new, useful gems. but life doesn’t start in a kindergarten. it ends here. i’ve gotten used to plants everywhere. bugs and breeze and sunshine…all of that has been sucked out of this place. it’s with the amethysts that were produced here and now this place is nothing but a miserable husk. all of the amethysts are gone. AMETHYST hey! PERIDOT oh, all the well-made amethysts are gone. AMETHYST yo, not better. PERIDOT and nothing will ever grow here again, not even this flower. AMETHYST wait, hoh! i’ve never seen anything growing here, and i’ve been hanging around this joint for five thousand years. man, it looks healthy too. STEVEN wow! that’s earth for you, always bouncing back! PERIDOT i don’t know. i’d have to run some tests to see if this is not an anomaly. STEVEN you wanna try planting stuff here? you know how to farm! AMETHYST yeah, that could be fun! PERIDOT it could be an interesting experiment. STEVEN yeah! let’s re-garten the kindergarten! PERIDOT they don’t need any more water after yesterday, but according to— STEVEN ah. PERIDOT several tutorials i read, the roots should be starting to take hold. starting to take hold. AMETHYST oh yeah? PERIDOT so that’s something we can check for today as soon as— steven! what are you doing in that bathing gown! get dressed already! STEVEN oh, right! STEVEN do you think they grew much overnight? AMETHYST yeah, i bet the place looks even better! STEVEN we should plant even more stuff! what do you think we should do next? AMETHYST what about, hydrangeas? STEVEN uh, which one’s that? AMETHYST i dunno, but it sounds good, right? STEVEN what do you think, peridot? PERIDOT hey, thanks for doing this with me. AMETHYST what? haha, come on. STEVEN it was fun. PERIDOT i’m just glad i was able to fix something. AMETHYST yeah, the kindergarten looks better then ever! PERIDOT well, i don’t know why i’m surprised. i should’ve known not to have hope. STEVEN but, maybe if we try again… PERIDOT it’s not going to work! it’s never going to work, okay? AMETHYST hey, don’t be a jerk, we were just trying to cheer you up. PERIDOT and good job with that! i feel just great that i know that nothing’s ever going to get better! everything is just ruined forever we can’t get any of it back! not my home! not lapis, and not this crummy planet, either! we might as well just throw it all in the garbage and toss ourselves in after, because it’s all just hopeless trash! STEVEN peridot, maybe the sunflowers didn’t work but we know something can grow here! PERIDOT this clod’s like us. too dumb to get with the program! STEVEN uh! PERIDOT uh MONSTER PERIDOT oh, of course. STEVEN peridot! AMETHYST rrr! AMETHYST whoa! STEVEN hu! hu! hut! hu hu hu hu! AMETHYST wanna get this together? STEVEN let’s do it! MONSTER ugh! hu? huuu! ugh! uh?! ugh! PERIDOT i need to go to the bathroom. AMETHYST man, you were right. the kindergarten really is dead forever. PERIDOT i was a fool to think we could reinstitute life there. STEVEN hu, tell me about it. PERIDOT all right. i will. i was pretty much using this as a distraction from losing lapis, losing the barn and just a general sense of complete hopelessness i tend to deal with on a day to day basis. but, it really only confirmed for me that once you mess something up it’s ruined for good and nothing will ever be able to grow again. AMETHYST yeah, we got the subtext. STEVEN oh wow. what about all of this? AMETHYST now that’s some plants. PERIDOT huh. guess the countryside out here is pretty beautiful. but who cares, i wanted to have this for the kindergarten! STEVEN even if there was nothing we can do for that one patch of land. there’s still a whole earth blooming all around us! AMETHYST yeah! why don’t we try gardening in literally any other place? it’ll be easier than trying to plant in the kindergarten. that dirt doesn’t care how green your thumb is. STEVEN green thumb! cuz you’re green! hahaha! PERIDOT i know that! AMETHYST so, are ya’ in? PERIDOT um… STEVEN do it, do it, do it, say yes! PERIDOT ugh… fine. i’ve got literally nothing else to do. STEVEN yay!