COOKIE_CAT JASMIN PERIDOT RODRIGO STEFAN STEVEN STEVEN all right! now that i’ve saved the universe, i can finally party! huh? hey, guys! what’s the deal? let me in! COOKIE CAT steven… no one needs your help, so why are you still here? STEVEN what? STEVEN why do i keep having these horrible dreams? PERIDOT steven! STEVEN peridot? PERIDOT steven, steven, steven, steven, steven! today is the day! did you tape it? STEVEN what are you talking about? PERIDOT you promised me! STEVEN oh, are you talking about the reboot of the classic great northern teen drama, camp pining hearts, that i recorded… on this tape? STEVEN the return of camp pining hearts! STEVEN y’know, i’m so glad you’re here. i’ve been having some weird dreams lately. PERIDOT that’s great, now press play you monster! RODRIGO oh jasmin, i wish you would fly into my arms, but every time i have a chance to-- STEVEN wha… wha… what have they done! PERIDOT what is with this rodrigo guy? he has no charisma! STEVEN and can we talk about this cinematography? PERIDOT gahhhh, they’ve changed all the characters, and i don’t care about any of them! ahh! how could you do this to me? camp pining hearts helped me escape when everything around me was in chaos. STEVEN cph brought us together. PERIDOT and now, now look at this nightmare! steven! you didn’t tell me that they cast you! STEVEN what? they didn’t. i– is this my dream from last night? whoa! my-my powers must be interfering with the tv signal! PERIDOT steven! do you know what this means? STEVEN i have to start wearing a tin foil hat? PERIDOT no! it means that if we can put your dreams on the television, we can reboot the reboot! STEVEN reboot the… peridot, you’re a genius! PERIDOT i know. STEVEN and… well, it might be fun to fix something that isn’t the entire universe… PERIDOT this is going to be the beginning of peridot and steven productions! STEVEN yeah! STEVEN so, peridot, do you think jasmin’s end game is khaz or rodrigo? PERIDOT the writers are clearly trying to railroad us into a jasdrigo partnership, but, gah, these characters have no chemistry! STEVEN just can’t get into rodrigo, can you? PERIDOT he’s so infuriatingly passive! STEVEN hey, hey, i get that his social anxiety and poutine allergy aren’t really connected to the larger story – PERIDOT pssssssh. STEVEN but maybe if he just had some kind of foil? PERIDOT a foil… interesting… STEVEN i got it! a hunky lifeguard friend with nice muscles and everyone always wants to hang out with him. despite the blessing and curse of his popularity, he still makes time to help his buddy rodrigo with his confidence! PERIDOT bold, i like it! good work “stefan”! PERIDOT why are you eating right at bedtime? STEVEN oh, this chili? i read that eating spicy foods before bed makes your dreams super vivid. PERIDOT huh, i appreciate your initiative! STEVEN aw, thanks! PERIDOT don’t forget. action-oriented storytelling. STEFAN hey, jasmin, i hear you love birds. JASMIN sure! hehe! STEFAN well, a little birdy told me that down stream, there is an island full of rare specimens. JASMIN did you hear that? thanks, stefan! you’re the best! STEFAN hey, rodrigo, this is terrible! jasmin is in danger! RODRIGO what? STEFAN she’s headed toward an island full of dangerous birds! but, if we go downstream, we can save her! RODRIGO okay! thanks stefan, you’re the best! RODRIGO thanks stefan, you’re such a great guy! STEFAN oh, you’re great too, you know. great enough for jasmin to like you. RODRIGO what? STEFAN i can tell from the way she looks at you. huh? uhhhhh – RODRIGO stefan! what’s happening to you? STEVEN ah! oh no! not again! PERIDOT steven! you did it! you just fell asleep and you started glowing pink. and then the tv went on the fritz and then – oh, i’ll just show you! our script, our story! i watched the whole thing live! not sure what you were going for at the end there. that was pretty bizarre, but for a first attempt…steven? STEVEN oh, sorry. just feeling a little off. guess maybe the chili was a bad idea. PERIDOT ehh, don’t worry about it! our budget is nothing and our schedule is infinite! STEVEN that’s right! i can do a re-dream! we can do as many as we want until we get it right! PERIDOT less talking, more sleeping. STEVEN huh? PERIDOT i’ve come to the conclusion that we keep failing because we’re relying on a script when we should have taken a more visual approach. so i’ve prepared this storyboard for you! STEVEN you drew all of this in one night?! PERIDOT well, duh! i’m good at everything. study these boards in preparation for this re-dream. STEVEN oh, okay. wow, you really posed this out. PERIDOT thank you! STEVEN huh? hey, peridot? why is stefan kissing jasmin? PERIDOT it’s perfect, right? just as rodrigo is about to swoop in and save his teenage dream, he stumbles upon, stefan! his good friend whom he trusts so much, kissing jasmin – thus stoking the fire of rodrigo’s jealousy! STEVEN i can’t do rodrigo dirty like that! PERIDOT whoa, steven. hold on. you're talking about them like they're real people. it’s just a story! and a story needs conflict! STEVEN no, i can’t do this! PERIDOT look, steven. you seem pretty agitated. let’s just call this whole thing off. STEVEN what? PERIDOT there’s no point if you’re gonna get all worked up over it. i should probably be getting back to little homeworld anyway. STEVEN no, wait! i’ll do it! STEFAN hey rodrigo… this is terrible! jasmin is in danger! RODRIGO w-what? STEFAN she’s headed toward an island full of dangerous birds! but, if we go downstream, we can save her! RODRIGO okay! thanks, stefan! you’re the best! RODRIGO wow… stefan is so great! what? stefan! how could you! STEFAN whuhhh STEVEN gaaaah! peridot? peridot! come on, we’ve gotta stop! are you listening to me? why won’t you look at me? peridot! peridot, where are you? peridot! peridot! wait! grrrrrhhh. stop! don’t go in there! please, i still really want to hang out with you! huh? peridot! we've always had something to fix together! the cluster, the diamonds! or spinel! i don't think i know how to be a friend without something to fix! but i just can’t do it anymore! i’m so tired…now i'm even doing it in my dreams! i'm sorry i can't do this for you! please don't leave! don’t leave. PERIDOT steven – steven! steven! steven! PERIDOT steven! i saw everything! it-it's fine!!! we don't have to do this anymore! i don't care about the show! and i definitely don't care about rodrigo! grraaaah! i'm such a clod! STEVEN but i really wanted to spend time with you. i just wanted an excuse to hang out. PERIDOT we don’t need an excuse to hang out. STEVEN can we still watch cph together? even if it sucks? PERIDOT of course! JASMIN how could you lie to me like that, rodrigo? i guess you just can't help being a bad person! PERIDOT jasmin, you just buried a body in the woods, and now you're mad that rodrigo cheated at cards? PERIDOT this show is the worst! STEVEN this show is the best.