AMETHYST GARNET GREG GREG_SINGING MARTY PEARL ROSE STEVEN VIDALIA STEVEN woo! go dad! GREG see, what’d i tell you… i may be losin’ my hair but the magic’s still there! hmm? STEVEN who’s with you in this old picture? GREG that’s my pal Marty! STEVEN you’ve never told me about him. GREG yeah, he’s just an ol’ amigo from way back when. he’s dead to me. STEVEN who was he? GREG he was my manager back when i first met your mom. i’ve told you that whole story haven’t i? STEVEN not the version with Marty. GREG yeesh! well then it’s story time. sit back. get comfy. i didn’t mean that comfy. STEVEN story for Steven! GREG okay, okay. this is the tale of how your father met your mother. now including Marty. GREG SINGING some, say i have no direction, that i’m a light speed distraction, but that’s a knee jerk reaction. still, this is the final frontier, everything is so clear, to my destiny i steer. this life in the stars is all i’ve ever known, stars and stardust and infinite space is my only home. but the moment that i hit the stage, thousands of voices are calling my name, and i know in my heart it’s been worth it all of the while. and as my albums fly off of the shelves, handing out autographed pics of myself, this life i chose isn’t easy but sure is one heck of a ride. at the moment that i hit the stage, i hear the universe calling my name, and i know deep down in my heart i have nothing to fear, and as the solar wind blows through my hair, knowing i have so much more left to share, a wandering spirit who’s tearing its way through the cold atmosphere. i fly like a comet. soar like a comet. crash like a comet. i’m just a comet. GREG thanks for coming everybody. i’m mr. universe. if you liked what you just heard go check out our merch table. my manager Marty can hook you up with cds and t-shirts… oh wait, he’s not there. i guess i’m going over there now. ROSE space train to the cosmos. GREG yeah! GREG SINGING one way ticket and i’m ready to ri-ide! ROSE but how will you get back? GREG back? ROSE back to earth? GREG i’m never comin’ back. ROSE ugh, that’s awful! this is your home. GREG uh… you want that? you can have it! ROSE hm? GREG oh, and it comes with a free t-shirt! oh you’ll probably need a bigger one. i’ve got an x-xtra large in my van! stay right there! MARTY starchild! meet Vidalia. VIDALIA nice van. really living the high life. MARTY so, how was the show? GREG it was great! one person showed up! oh! i have to give her this free-- t…shirt. MARTY Greg! you can’t give stuff away for free! what about my 75%? 75% of nothing is nothing! are you worth nothing? GREG no. MARTY that’s right! i’m gonna make us both rich! and as far as these saltwater-saps know, we already are! so let’s live it up before we hit the road, alright! next stop, empire city! GREG you know… i’ll catch up with you. maybe she’s over there? AMETHYST whooo? GREG oh just some giant mysterious lady with enormous pink hair. you haven’t seen anyone like that around have you? AMETHYST sure have pal. GREG wh-where? AMETHYST well, uh… if i told you anymore i’d have to kill you! hoo hoo hoo—hahahahah! GREG hey! wait! hold on a sec! wah! ooof! AMETHYST this long-haired human was talking to me over by the fence. PEARL it spoke to you? AMETHYST he was asking about Rose. look, there he is! GREG yo. PEARL ugh! Amethyst wait! AMETHYST it’s you! AMETHYST i’ve never seen this one around here before. oh, i really like your hair! PEARL Amesthyst! PEARL leave him be, you don’t know where he’s been! uh, i’m very sorry about this uhh… you? GREG woah! GARNET Pearl ! Amethyst ! you’re with a human. AMETHYST he followed me over the fence! PEARL what should we do? GARNET state your purpose. GREG uhh, i was kinda looking for the mysterious pink lady? kinda really tall? lotsa big curly hair? AMETHYST see he’s talking about ro-- oompf. PEARL i don’t know how to make him go away. GARNET i’ll just throw him back over the fence. GREG huh? ooop! woah! PEARL excellent idea! GREG hey! oh! woah! wah! oh hooo! wah! PEARL human’s should stay on the other side of the fence like the sign says. GREG please no throwing! ROSE wait! mr. universe? GREG it’s you! woah! ow! ROSE are… you alright? PEARL you know this human?! ROSE he was playing a concert on the beach and… i-i couldn’t help myself. GREG no one could ignore the universe. oh! i brought you this! it’s the free t-shirt that came with your free cd! ROSE why thank you! his gimmick is space! AMETHYST hey, play something music man! GARNET better make it good. GREG aww man, i’m working on this awesome new set, it’s gonna kill at my next show! my next show… ah geez, what time is it? PEARL mm…night…time? GREG yeah, Marty’s probably looking for me. we’re supposed to hit the road. it’s a big show in a big city… and i didn’t drop out of community college for nothing! PEARL what? ROSE well, you better hurry. you don’t want to miss your space train to the cosmos. GREG okay! i’ll see ya later! uh, i hope the stars will align for us to meet again! ROSE i’m sure they will! AMETHYST bye music man! PEARL i can sing! PEARL what?! MARTY man, Greg, you really missed out. Vidalia’s friends were wild and crazy. glad that town wasn’t a total waste. GREG i met some wild ladies too! they change shape and appear out of beams of light-- MARTY ah ah ah ah ah… save the poetry for empire city, starchild. we’ve got a big day ahead of us tomorrow. GREG i’m serious, Marty! something’s going on back there. MARTY are you nuts? just wait till you see what’s ahead of us. it’s fame! hey what’s jammed in your tape deck? you been putting pennies in here you weirdo? play me somethin’ for me starchild. GREG SINGING do you believe in destiny? close your eyes and leave the rest to me. MARTY snore! you’re gonna put people to sleep with that! where’s this schlock coming from? GREG i-i just can’t stop thinking about that woman at the show. MARTY oh, here we go. how big was she? GREG eight feet tall… massive hair. MARTY see Greg, this is your problem. you want one huge woman, when you can have multiple smaller ones. GREG ugh, Marty. women are people. MARTY just follow my lead. i’m gonna get you everything you want. GREG what if i want to go back? MARTY what?! GREG what if i want to go back and be with her! MARTY no one cares about your feelings, Greg. they’re making you lose sight of what’s really important! GREG watch the road! why do you always decide what’s important? MARTY because i’m your manager and you’re just some spaced out kid! i’m taking you to the city and you’re gonna play and you’re gonna like it. maybe you’ll even make me some money for once. GREG get out of my van. MARTY sit down, Greg. GREG i said, get out of my van! MARTY oof! what are you doing?! you’re making a huge mistake! GREG hey! are you in there? i can play for you now! i even revamped my awesome set! this one’s for you mystery woman! GREG SINGING do you believe in destiny? close your eyes and leave the rest to me. do you believe in fantasy? i have to when it’s right in front of me, oh, what are you doing here? in the real world. what are you doing here? so close i could touch you. what are you doing here? and what are you doing to me?! GREG oh! you’re wearing the… shirt. ROSE please go away. GREG i-i’m sorry. did i-- ROSE you’re awfully cute. and i really want to play with you. but your life is short and you have dreams. i won’t let you give up on everything you want. GREG well that’s gonna be a problem. ROSE huh? GREG you’re everything i want! GREG what are you smiling about? STEVEN you loved her! GREG c’mere you! GREG rah! haha! STEVEN oh man, Marty was the worst! GREG oh yeah, he was awful! but i guess i owe him a lot. he made it easy for me to stay. STEVEN i’m glad you did. GREG yeah. me too.