ANNOUNCER BOTH BRIE DYLAN IZZY JIMMY JJ KAI KENNETH LEE LITTLE_GIRL MAN_ON_MOVIE MAYA MOLLY OPERATOR RANDY RAY SONG KENNETH Sorry, bud.The Lafayette Gazette is running a piece on girls' basketball, and they wanted Coach Kenneth's take.You don't know any Phil Jackson quotes, do you?Hopefully no one else will, either."Twenty minutes.»Wha-- Oh, is someone not happy with their service?Is this because I haven't fixed that headrest yet?I ordered the part.You don't know I didn't. IZZY Hey, babe.Why are you still here? KENNETH "Ask Phil Jackson.»Ha.Jj's feeling that he's not my sole focus, but he has my full attention.I don't even notice, for example, that my power forward is in the back without her seatbelt.Thanks, Olivia. IZZY We're gonna get yogurt.I'll text you later, Jj. KENNETH All right.Take care.Oh.Hello, Melanie. IZZY Um, bye, Jj. KENNETH "I love you.»"R.Car.Y-O-U-R»Your car.Your car!He said he loves your car! BRIE SPeeCHLeSS DYLAN Hey, just a heads up, I've got someone coming here to study tomorrow. JIMMY Ooh, is it a boy? DYLAN Yeah. JIMMY Wait, really? DYLAN Yeah.There's a hot, new kid in my class.He got kicked out of his last school. MAYA He sounds like trouble. DYLAN I know, right? MAYA Dylan's bringing home a boy? JIMMY Already?I mean, I knew this day was coming, but I figured by that time I'd be threatening.You know, jacked with a big beard and a scary dad handshake.And he's a bad boy?Yeah.What, do I cut an apple with a knife?Do we have a shotgun? MAYA We own a Shop-Vac. JIMMY Yeah, that thing's loud. MAYA Oh, hey, darling.Thanks so much for your help with my bank loan application.I sent it in after some creative interpretation of collateral.I'm talking to you “Banksy original.” RAY Oh, yeah?I'll leave you alone. MAYA What's wrong, darling?Did Saturn blow up? RAY Today is the anniversary for the time you said you were gonna take me to a waterpark for Special Boy Time, but then something came up and we didn't go. MAYA Hmm.I didn't know it meant so much to you. RAY It's too late to make up for it now.In a sense, there were waterslides that day “Ray's Cheeks.Must be this sad to ride.” DYLAN A word, Ray? RAY Hey.Stop pulling on it!The doctor said you gave me long ear! KENNETH He loves your car!He said he loves your car!Hey, Izzy.Slight miscommunication."I love you car.»The "I love you»was my bad. IZZY Oh.Okay.Uh, that seemed big. KENNETH Huge. IZZY Okay.Uh, we're cool.Bye. KENNETH Yeah."That was my first I love you.»I understand.I'm sorry."I don't throw it around like some people.»Is this about my multiple marriages?You know I'm sensitive about that."What are you not sensitive about?»Is this about me being sensitive about everything?You know I'm sensitive about that.It was an honest mistake."And you've been making a lot of them lately.You and I need to have a conversation.»Did you talk to my second ex-wife?You're starting to sound a lot like her.And you don't have the ass to pull it off. DYLAN What are you doing kicking up drama?Mom's a great lady. RAY I'm sorry, I'm just up.to no good. DYLAN Ooh, I really hated that. RAY I don't care about Special Boy Time.Here's how it works I guilt Mom about something that happened ten years ago.She wants to make it up to me now, but she doesn't want to take a day to bring me to a waterpark, so I get something else. DYLAN That's actually pretty good. RAY Hello, private SAT tutor. DYLAN You had to go and Ray it up. RAY I've been guilting Mom about Special Boy Time for years, all to get other stuff.She has no clue. MAYA This kid has been guilting me about Special Boy Time for years to get other stuff, I am sick of it! JIMMY How does it even work on you? MAYA Eh, used to be cute.You know, this is a special boy.This is a needy man. JIMMY What is that even doing here?Did he put it over our wedding photo? MAYA I don't know, but I'm done with it.Son, I'm gonna crush you. LEE I'm glad you came to me, Jj.A relationship with an aide can be tricky.Sometimes you need a forum to air your grievances. KENNETH Do I need to sit in the damned forum? LEE How long have you guys been together? KENNETH Three years. LEE Three years?And how many aides have you had before this? KENNETH "None.» LEE None? KENNETH Do you say everything that way? LEE Everything?Guys!It's not meant to be a long-term gig.Sometimes you need to make a change. KENNETH "It's not like that.»And your loud insensitivity aside, Jj is leaving for college in six months, and I'll be moving on then. LEE You are kind of crowding the forum, dude.Take a page out of Randy's book. KENNETH Randy? LEE Randy, reveal yourself! RANDY Hi, I'm Randall. LEE That's right.He hates being called Randy.Randy, meet the guys. KENNETH Dude, whatever.Have your little talk.But you don't know how good you have it with me.Yeah, you'll see. RANDY "Maybe we should see now." KENNETH Oh, Randy, you just slid right in there, didn't you? LEE Take Randy for the day. RANDY "Works for me.» KENNETH Today?You want to give me this day off?Right now?Today is my day off, dummy. MAYA Oh, darling, I feel so guilty, I couldn't sleep at all last night. RAY Ugh, that's the last thing I wanted.Darn it! MAYA There's got to be some way of making it up to you. RAY We can find a way.We must. MAYA Let's go to a waterpark. RAY Let's brainstorm and come up with several ideas. MAYA No, darling, you really wanted to go, so pick a day and let's go. RAY A waterpark sounds great, Mother.Why don't we go today? MAYA Music to my ears.Which unlike yours, don't instantly become infected when submerged. RAY Music to my hair.Which unlike yours, does not get this big when wet.I'll be waiting in the car. MAYA I'm looking forward to it. RAY I'm looking five-ward to it. MAYA I'm looking five-ward three it. KAI Ki.I'm Kai.Here to see Dylan? JIMMY Hey, Kai.I'm Dylan's dad.Come on in.Please.So, Kai, is it?What are your intentions with my daughter? DYLAN Dad!Let's go study. JIMMY Okay.You guys go study.I will be right here the whole time.A-ha! JIMMY Okay, okay.Is this about the banana?Look, we were out of apples. DYLAN What are you doing?You're ruining everything. JIMMY I am intimidating him.You bring a bad-boy into my house, I'm gonna show him my vacuum.Look, this kid is trouble, and I am going to check him out. DYLAN Fine.Do it while also showing him you're normal. JIMMY I can do that.Yeah.Head back in the game-- Those were not there a minute ago!What is going on?No, I'm good.I'm good. RANDY "Just a note to say, I still love your friend's car.” JJ RANDY "Inside joke, funny story.»No need.It's your business.Um, I just need a stamp.Actually, I have a couple on me.Um, American Flag or Gregory Hines?"No stamps.We'll chase down Izzy's friend's car and toss it in.It'll be fun.Let's P-R-- practice.»This is from Jj."More energy.Toss it.»Got it.Um, this is from Jj.I'm not really into capers."Fine, how about we see a movie about a caper?”Now, I'm excited. MAYA Here we are in the parking lot.Last chance not to enter Great Wolf Lodge. RAY Here we are in the lobby.Last chance to not go into the waterpark itself. MAYA Here we are at the entrance to the waterpark.The real and final. MAYA .incontrovertible, point of no return RAY Why are you making me do this? MAYA What is wrong with you?Just give up. RAY Fine.Let's go. OPERATOR Okey-doke.Have fun! RAY No.We don't want this. MAYA Just tell me what you were trying to squeeze out of me! RAY A private SAT tutor! MAYA Nerd alert! MAYA/RAY MAYA That was awesome! RAY Again. MAYA Out of my way.Out of my special boy's way! RAY Yeah! JIMMY So, Kai, you were gonna tell me about yourself. KAI Uh, you're not gonna vacuum me? JIMMY No.No, no.Nothing to worry about there.I'm normal.Do you smell weed, Kai? KAI No. JIMMY How do you know? KAI Hey, is that a Martin? JIMMY Uh, yeah.Why?Do you.do you play? JIMMY I'm kidding, you don't have to.We'll get your intentions in a moment.In the meantime, key change? JJ RANDY Guess I don't like movies about capers, either. JJ MAN ON MOVIE JJ KENNETH KENNETH "You followed me here?»You?I followed The Rock here.Hey, what is this?Oh, it's for Izzy, huh?Ooh.There's some good stuff here.You know what you should do?You should track her down and then throw it in her friend's car.Hmm?"Say good night R-A-- Randy.»Good night, Randy. RANDY Good night. SONG ? Things that bother you ? ? Never bother me ? ? I feel so happy and fine, aha ? ? Living in the sunlight ? ? Loving in the moonlight ? ? Having a wonderful time ? ? Haven't got a lot ? ? I don't need a lot ? ? Coffee's only a dime ? ? Loving in the moonlight ? ? Having a wonderful time ? ? I'm right here to stay ? ? When I'm old and grey ? ? I'll be right in my prime ? ? Living in the sunlight ? ? Loving in the moonlight ? ? Having a wonderful time.? RAY I am reborn!I am a special boy! SONG ? Having a wonderful time.? KAI Oh, hey, Dylan.Your dad's awesome! DYLAN Kai wants to hang out with you more than me now.You're ruining everything!Again! JIMMY How can I ruin everything twice?Things either stayed ruined, or I fix them and then ruin them again.I at least would like some credit for the middle. DYLAN Denied. JIMMY You asked me to fix it.I did.He was actually starting to open up to me. DYLAN Kai Haskins was opening up to you? JIMMY Yes. DYLAN New plan go back in there and pump Kai for info I can use to make him like me. JIMMY Okay.I'll catch you at my next screw-up. LITTLE GIRL MAYA Oh!Oh, my God!Did we just see someone die?Where'd they go?Are they in hell now? RAY I've always dreamed of being old enough to ride one.Now, I'm too old and finally ready. MAYA Don't be afraid, my special boy.I'll be right here with you. RAY MAYA Ooh.Hello? RAY Mom? MAYA Yeah, just a second.I'll go somewhere a bit quieter. RAY Mom, no.Stop the ride.My emotional support person is gone. KENNETH Some day apart, huh?"I found that being together took the edge off.» BOTH KENNETH Ah.Couldn't make it one day.We couldn't make it one day.What are we gonna do next year, buddy? KAI I call that one, "They Love Me Till They Know Me.» JIMMY They.are fools. JIMMY Wow.I don't think I've ever met a soul so deep, and I once pumped gas next to Jewel.I.Yeah. DYLAN Kai?Deep?No.No, is-is dumb.Is pretty.Is dumb. JIMMY But you-you like him. DYLAN I mean, his face, not the nonsense that comes out of it.Plus, all three queen bees in my class like him.I get Kai, the entire social fabric of the grade collapses.Chaos. JIMMY But Kai's heart is like a brittle sand dollar.He says so in one of his songs.I-I guess my question is.what are your intentions with Kai? DYLAN What are your intentions with Kai?First, you weirdly try to protect me, now you're very weirdly trying to protect Kai.I mean, who are you? JIMMY Who are you?"Dad, don't be weird; Dad, don't be his friend; Dad, don't keep him from being a pawn in my sick social game!» KAI Uh.I'm gonna peace.Later, Dylan.Mr.D. JIMMY See, now I have ruined everything. MAYA Okay, well, thank you.Bye.Sorry, love.It was the bank about my loan application.How was it? RAY What do you think, Mom?It was the Wolf Tail.It tossed me around and laughed at me as my life flashed before my eyes.And you know what I saw?The abyss within. MAYA So pretty good, sounds like.Come on. RAY Have fun, I'm going this way. MAYA Would you prefer to go that way? JIMMY We'll find this kid.Lucky for you, your dad has spent half of his life looking for decent guitar players.Tell me what to do?I don't know how to help you. DYLAN I don't think I know how to help me, either.I wanted you to be there, and then I wanted you gone.I wanted him to like you, then I didn't.I.I want everything and nothing, and I want to be able to yell at you about it. JIMMY I can handle that. DYLAN What?But, Dad, I'm being so unreasonable. JIMMY Look, we're obviously entering a new phase here, and it's gonna be weird.But that's cool.Weird is good.Weird is us. DYLAN Forget Kai.Let's go get milkshakes? JIMMY See, that makes sense to me. DYLAN This really cute guy, Henry, works there, and I want to hang out with him. JIMMY DYLAN Don't ruin it.I mean, you will. JIMMY Yeah, but we get to find out how. MAYA Ray, darling, where are you?You're making Mommy very nervous. MOLLY Excuse me, did you lose your child? MAYA Yes, thank you.My Ray.He's about yea high, 16 years old.He's very good-looking.In fact, you're his type.Come and stand here, and I'm quite sure he'll appear. RAY Boom!Done!Less than a minute!Cough it up.Eleven gabillion, killion dollars. MAYA Ray, darling, I'm sorry I hurt you.To be honest, I'm quite surprised I could.You didn't exactly come here to bond. RAY Well, I didn't think you'd be fun. MAYA Well, it was a work call.You understand. RAY No, I get it.I just.Jj always has gotten a lot more attention, and it was nice to have a bigger piece.Now that he's gone to do his own thing, and I just hope that work doesn't become the new Jj. MAYA Oh, darling.You know, that is the most honest and direct you've been about what you want since. RAY Ever? MAYA I think maybe even before that. RAY Yeah.Well, the Wolf Tail changes a person. MAYA I love you so much.But you know what?I also really like you, Ray.Work or no, I'm gonna make time.You know, for your good and for mine. RAY And if you don't, I will ask for it.Uh, you're right.I should stop hinting and playing games to get what I want. MAYA Yes, love. RAY Just to be clear, we're here because you were also playing games. MAYA Yeah, but you're the only one that has a chance of changing. KENNETH Hey, buddy, I, um.I figured out what we need to do."Me, too.When I go to college, wherever that is, I want you to come.»Oh.I'd watch that movie.You and me in the big city.We meet up with some gruff cab driver who teaches us all about.being gruff."Is your plan not my thing?»Jj, as much as I'd love to stick with you forever, I signed up to help you through high school.We did it.It's time.I'm not gonna leave you high and dry.Next year's gonna be full of changes for you.You shouldn't have to deal with splitting with me, too.I'm gonna ease you in.We're gonna help you find the-the best aide out there.Second best."Kenneth?»What, bro."I love you.»Well, I love your car. JJ ANNOUNCER Please welcome our honorary King of the Wolves, Ray DiMeo!And his mom, the woman that invented honorary wolf royalty 15 minutes ago and made us do this, Maya DiMeo!Is it okay if other people dance, too? MAYA In just a second. ANNOUNCER How about now? MAYA You know, on second thought, no. SONG ? Deep in her eyes ? ? I think I see-- ?