APRIL ARIELLE AUBREY BANDER BRIGSBY BRIGSBY_HEAD CHUBBY_HOCKEY_KID COACH_BRAD COAST_GUARD DEPUTY DETECTIVE_VOGEL EMILY ERIC EVERYONE EXCITED_MAN FELDO FEMALE_REPORTER GORDO GREG GROUP_OF_KIDS HANNAH JAMES LOGAN LOUISE MERIDETH NERD_HOCKEY_KID NEWS_ANCHOR NINA POLICE_OFFICER SPENCER SUN_SNATCHER TED UNKNOWN VOGEL ARIELLE It’s Sun Snatcher, Brigsby! SUN SNATCHER Perish SUN SNATCHER Brigsby Bear! BRIGSBY The are out? The vines! Remember? They release invisi-toxins at sundown. That means ARIELLE We’re only imagining! NINA We’re only imagining! BRIGSBY I summon the power of light! SUN SNATCHER Nooo! I’ll get you next time, bear! ARIELLE You did it, Brigsby! NINA You did it, Brigsby! BRIGSBY We’re safe for now, but I let the whole galaxy down. BRIGSBY I don’t get it. The prophecy said: if we activate the Sortis Crystal inside the temple, we could destroy Sun Snatcher. ARIELLE Perhaps there’s a lesson here, Brigsby. NINA When solving for x on a one-dimensional plane, where minus one by the magnitude of one equals minus x- ARIELLE always solve for the vector r! BRIGSBY Until our next adventure remember Prophecy is meaningless. Trust only your familial unit and please discard leftover food rations in the yellow BRIGSBY bin, not the red one. Goodbye! JAMES That’s it! JAMES Hey guys! James here. First of all. Episode 34, Volume 25 I put the recap up, so there is already a great comment section there and I recommend all you guys go check that out immediately. Also as some of you guys know, I’ve been JAMES studying the older two volumes, going way back to the first Quest Wars when we initially meet the evildoer himself, a-k-a Sun Snatcher. Obviously, Snatcher always gets away. JAMES But Brigsby never gives up, and I'm not given up either, and I have come up with some new ideas that I really want to tell you guys about, but let us say, let us say that I'm on to something pretty big. So, stay tuned for that, and, of course, as always until our next adventure- JAMES So basically the trick is Brigsby needs to find all the sacred artifacts. Sortis Crystal. JAMES Arial’s amulet. Then you just need to find a collapsed star in an unclaimed system. Easier said than done I know. JAMES If you could find the JAMES unclaimed system Brigsby could find a seed sun snatcher. Thank you. JAMES and may our minds be stronger tomorrow. TED and may our minds be stronger tomorrow. APRIL and may our minds be stronger tomorrow. JAMES I know there’s still some things I need to add before I post it What is it? TED Well pal, it’s clear a lot of imagination went into it. TED But the thing is I’m not sure how any of this is plausible in Brigsby’s universe. I mean you have him using Arielle’s amulet against Snatcher. TED Sure it’s powerful. It was created by the Drumbas but, if I remember correctly, it’s very unstable. JAMES But not if you fold space-time. See, I didn’t get to explain that part, but that’s why JAMES Brigsby needs Arielle’s amulet- APRIL James. What your father is trying to say is we’re proud of how smart and talented you are. But all of this time that you’ve been spending on the Brigsby Forum and your projects we just don’t see the point. JAMES The point? APRIL You could be using this time and energy to further your studies or solve the Vansmithe conjecture. JAMES But it’s impossible. And it’s stupid. TED Watch it. JAMES I know, sorry. It’s not stupid. APRIL Don’t’ let your noodles get cold. BRIGSBY He just needs enough power to get us to the next quadrant. UNKNOWN Oh, come on, Brigsby - let me at him! Our laser canons are locked and loaded. BRIGSBY Fire away! TED Hi, Bud. You know I was thinking about taking a trip out to the pier if you want to come. They sure came out tonight huh? So, what’s on your mind, pal? JAMES It’s just there are other people out there. Just like us, right? JAMES And we’re all watching Brigsby together. It means something TED Look at the Grazerbugs, James. All they need in this world is fresh water and cold moonlight to charge their rectoskeletons. They’re out there every night. Surviving just like us. The difference is we have dreams and imaginations to help us escape. TED And no one can take that away from you. Ever. TED Good night, James. Powering down! Morning son. Remember, no Brigsby until after your chores and study. See you tonight. Goodnight, James. Powering down. JAMES Something’s happening!! Something’s happening! What’s going on? TED Remember everything we’ve taught you, POLICE OFFICER On the ground now! On the ground now! JAMES Mom! APRIL James! APRIL James! JAMES Mom! TED I’m sorry! APRIL I love you, James! JAMES Excuse me. JAMES Are you going to give me a breathing mask? Or are we just supposed to let the toxic air give us all skinzer disease? DEPUTY Look there’s this detective been working with the family. He’ll explain everything. DEPUTY But the bottom line is you’re safe now. As far as the air goes no mask needed. DEPUTY Promise. Look. DETECTIVE VOGEL James. My man. That is your name right? James? Well I’m detective Vogel. And this is for you. If you’re thirsty. JAMES So, am I a prisoner now? DETECTIVE VOGEL What? No, whoa whoa whoa. That no, James. The. Listen I’m your friend in all of this. You know? The reason you’re here, the reason I’m here is all just to try and help you. Does that make any sense? JAMES No. DETECTIVE VOGEL James. Do you know why we brought you here? JAMES Is it because one time I threw a rock at a Gunnerfox? the soldiers just showed up and then my mom and dad said you have to be strong. DETECTIVE VOGEL Yea. Your mom. JAMES I mean DETECTIVE VOGEL and dad. That’s, uh is that Ted and April? Yea? Can you tell me about them? JAMES I guess they’re older. Kind of boring. DETECTIVE VOGEL They keep you locked up? Were you restrained? JAMES I mean, the doors were locked. And the airlock was off limits. That’s regulations and stuff. DETECTIVE VOGEL James. Did they ever touch you? DETECTIVE VOGEL It’s okay. JAMES Yea. DETECTIVE VOGEL Yea. JAMES Sometimes they’d grab me. Like this. And they’d say “Great job on your studies James. We love you.” JAMES Happened a lot. DETECTIVE VOGEL What’s that on your shirt? JAMES It’s Brigsby. DETECTIVE VOGEL Of course. DETECTIVE VOGEL Well, I’ve got quite a few things to go over here just in terms of life, existence in general. Uh oh. First try this. I keep a special stash in my mini fridge for friends. I think you might like it. JAMES So, what is this place? DETECTIVE VOGEL This is a police station. Many years ago you were abducted by Ted and April Mitchum. They’re not your parents. You’re going to meet them a little bit later on today. FEMALE REPORTER James. James. FEMALE REPORTER James. James, we know you have been through so, so much. How does it feel to finally be back where you belong? JAMES I didn’t think it’s a different reality than what I thought. And everything’s very big. It’s really very big. FEMALE REPORTER Okay. Okay, thank you, James. GREG Thank you. GREG Here we are. LOUISE Sorry. Sorry. GREG It’s okay. GREG It’s okay. LOUISE I meant to put Melvin outside. GREG No. Melvin. LOUISE That’s okay boy. He’s really friendly, I promise. He’s just excited to see you. JAMES He’s a lot bigger than the Gunnerfoxes. Also, very friendlier. LOUISE Oh, good. GREG This is Aubrey’s room. Make sure you always knock first. And this is the bathroom. Full service of course. And this is your room. What do you think? JAMES I don’t know. LOUISE James, we just- we want you to know that, um that every single day you were away it felt like a- like a piece of our heart was missing. Okay? So, okay, just love you, love you so, so much. GREG You need anything else or you just want to kick it? JAMES No, thank you. GREG Sure. Okay. LOUISE Yeah. JAMES May our minds be stronger tomorrow. GREG Thanks, James. That was great. GREG What did you think about that, Aubrey? Pretty cool, huh? AUBREY Really cool, dad. GREG We should do the list. Remember? All of our favorite stuff James hasn’t had a chance to do yet. We can do it all together as a family. LOUISE That’s right. I love that idea. Doesn’t that sound like fun, James? Oh, I know. Swimming! GREG Good one. LOUISE Yea. GREG Swimming. In a pool and out at the lake. LOUISE Oh, oh, canoeing. Skipping rocks. GREG You’re on fire. LOUISE Fly fishing. AUBREY Why are you guys so all about water right now? You’re like freaking him out. GREG Well I’ll just balance the list out with a bunch of land activities too. And James you can choose to do whichever ones you like. JAMES Guess I’d just like to watch the new Brigsby tape if that’s okay. GREG Brigsby tape? JAMES Seriously though. Has it come in yet? GREG I don’t know what that is. JAMES Look. See. It was delivered to our supply drop every week. Volume 14 episode 20. “Making friends with the Wizzles.” GREG Huh. Real cool. LOUISE Yea. You know, you need a VCR for this which we don’t have. But I bet Papa Daryl’s box is in the basement. We could probably find a VCR. GREG Well you know in the meantime there’s a bunch of other shows that we can watch on our television right now. JAMES So, they make other shows? GREG Well look there’s a funny family. Or a dance contest. Or a, well, Fancy Cakes. Here why don’t you try to drive? Okay? why don’t you try to drive. Okay? This is how you scroll up and down. And then you just press select when you like something. Couch potato. JAMES Thank you. NEWS ANCHOR incredible story out of Utah. A young man reunited with his family after being abducted from Cedar Hills Memorial Hospital GREG Oh god, here NEWS ANCHOR as an infant. GREG let’s watch something else. NEWS ANCHOR The alleged kidnappers are a former city college professor April Mitchum and her husband Ted, the artist and designer behind the wildly popular 80’s toy, Terrence the tiger. The couple are being charged with felony kidnapping and in prison. GREG There. JAMES So, I think maybe it’s my bedtime. You guys probably need to turn off the generator anyway, right? LOUISE Uh We don’t really have bedtimes here. But you’re welcome to go to your room whenever you want. GREG We’re on an electrical grid. JAMES Oh, sorry. AUBREY What are you doing? JAMES I really like those rhythms. AUBREY What? JAMES The music rhythms AUBREY Okay. GREG James? Hey, uh, I took the day off from work. I was thinking maybe me and you could have some fun. I got a surprise planned. NERD HOCKEY KID Tell me where it says you’re not allowed to bite someone in the rule book. Oh, yep there it is. You’re right. GORDO Hey coach Brad. I think I found your problem. Your car’s a piece of crap. COACH BRAD Hey Gordo, how about next time you take the bus. GORDO You wish. COACH BRAD Well how am I supposed to find something by Saturday. Seth I’m going to have to call you back. Hey wait up! Hey where are you going? Hey, you’re not in trouble. Take off your helmet. CHUBBY HOCKEY KID A girl? HANNAH Yea, a girl. Hannah Slice as a matter of fact. COACH BRAD Where in the heck did you learn to shoot a puck like that? JAMES And remember when the one called Gordo - when he ate all that cake and then he- and then he slipped and fell on his back side? Remember that? GREG Yea. Sure that was pretty funny. JAMES It was different than Brigsby. Cuz there weren’t any spells and it was- it was just one long adventure. But, you should- there- if you had seen it- it was just on a gigantic screen. LOUISE Yea. Hey, um LOUISE since you brought up Brigsby maybe we could ah talk about that, yea? EMILY I think that’s a great idea. Thank you Mrs. Pope. JAMES Wait who is that? EMILY My name is Emily. Remember? JAMES No, I know, but what is this? Having to meet with you, what, what’s going on? EMILY Well, your parents and I thought it might help if we got together every once in a while to just talk. to just talk. JAMES Okay, but why though? EMILY Because that’s what I do. I help people. JAMES Everyone says they’re trying to help me. But nobody can find me the new episode of Brigsby. EMILY Well, first of all there wasn’t a new episode this week. JAMES That’s impossible. EMILY James. The way that the police found you was someone spotted Ted going into a warehouse about 40 miles outside of where he was holding you captive. And inside that warehouse they found a television stage of a cabin, with props and puppets. Do you see where I’m going with this? JAMES Brigsby stuff? JAMES My dad-my old- my old dad actually got to go there? EMILY James, Ted Mitchum, your captor, he was the one making the show. James? JAMES Yes! My dad- or my old dad, he knew Brigsby? GREG I think you’re missing the point here, okay? JAMES He was the one who’s deciding what Brigsby would do next? EMILY That’s right. JAMES Did it have did they figure out who, who, who’s going to take over doing it? EMILY No one’s taking over doing it. You’re the only person who’s ever seen the show. JAMES But I have friends on the Brigsby Bear fan forum that watched it on my computer. EMILY Well the computer at your old home was run on a closed network. So, any content there we can assume was created by Ted and April. JAMES So, Brigsby Boy One Brigsby Boy Two, Brigsby Boy Three They weren’t real? EMILY I’m sorry James, no. JAMES What about Brigsby Girl? EMILY I know this isn’t easy. And there are going to be some really deep emotions associated with this transition. LOUISE And we’re so excited to help you get back on track and, you know, we’re going to have so much fun. You’re not even going to remember some old TV show. EMILY So, what do you think James? Do you have any other questions? JAMES Yea. Who made Hockey High? GREG Um I think it was the guy who did Sir Bachelors. Is that the name of it? LOUISE Mr. Bachelor. GREG Mr. Bachelor. JAMES Does he do all the movies? GREG No There are lots of different directors who make lots of different movies. JAMES Can anyone do it? GREG Sure. AUBREY Hey. So, I’m going to my school’s football game with a couple people. And if that’s something you wanted to go to then you’re invited. But you like totally don’t have to. JAMES Is that the thing with the mean guys in the mask where they get mad? AUBREY Exactly. Um, it’s really stupid. JAMES And, uh and and do you want is it- do you want me to come to it? Or is it something Aubrey? AUBREY Yea, I guess. AUBREY Okay so look. We’re not going to a football game. JAMES We’re not? AUBREY Uh, no. AUBREY This kid, his parents are out of town. So, he’s having a couple people over. AUBREY It should be totally fine, but just- just be normal alright? And don’t tell anyone how old you are, that we’re related. MERIDETH What’s up? AUBREY Hey, man. Sorry. MERIDETH It’s cool. Hey, I’m MERIDETH. JAMES Hi. AUBREY That’s James. MERIDETH Yea, I saw you on the news, man. It’s crazy. You like Cedar Hills? JAMES I like movies. MERIDETH Yea, exactly. AUBREY I don’t know why he keeps texting me but MERIDETH Are you going to hang out? AUBREY Yea, I don’t know. AUBREY Hey. SPENCER Yo finally. Jesus. AUBREY I know. SPENCER Come on bring it in. SPENCER You guys looking to try or buy? SPENCER Like my tattoo? AUBREY It’s alright. MERIDETH Hey, Spence, you got any shit on you? SPENCER No, but Logan’s around. Go check on him. And kegs are out back. AUBREY Thank you. SPENCER Sure. SPENCER Hey, what’s up man, I’m Spence. JAMES Is that some kind of Bear Speeder? SPENCER What? JAMES Is that some kind of Bear Speeder or a Stealodrone JAMES Rider on your shirt? SPENCER Yea, no it’s um, you know Enterprise Trek shit. JAMES My parents stole me when I was a baby but I still think they are pretty cool. SPENCER That’s tight! SPENCER You want a beer? JAMES Yes, JAMES I would like one of that. SPENCER Alright cool. Follow me. JAMES Okay. GROUP OF KIDS Nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen SPENCER Hey, yo - send me that, alright. GROUP OF KIDS eighteen nineteen twenty JAMES Hi. JAMES Hi, I’m James. I really like your clothes. SPENCER Hey man, everything good? JAMES Yea. Just meeting some new people. SPENCER Ah dude. Yeah, I don’t know who those guys are. I mean SPENCER they look like dicks. Right? Don’t worry about them. JAMES I told them JAMES I liked their clothes but, actually- actually I think maybe I think maybe I like my clothes a bit more. SPENCER Hey, you’re um, you’re Aubrey’s brother. SPENCER Right? And you’re like; SPENCER you were stuck in the same house for like your whole life? JAMES I went on the roof sometimes. SPENCER That’s a good call, dude. Well cheers. To um SPENCER Hey, this is your first party, right? SPENCER Dude. Sick! SPENCER Dude, let’s turn up, bro, cheers. JAMES Yea. Turn up. Let’s turn up. SPENCER Turn up! JAMES This is before the collapse of the third federation when everything changes and Brigsby becomes an outlaw. But JAMES he’s still a good guy even though now he’s got to- now he’s got to work with the Stardust Bandits. LOGAN So, LOGAN sorry, what are we talking about here? Like a trained bear? Brigsby? JAMES Brigsby? LOGAN Yeah. JAMES He’s trained in space combat. Puzzle solving. Quest. And I guess he also allows you to be the best version of yourself via series of life instructional lessons. Plus, he’s got rainbow eyes too. MERIDETH How do the rainbow eyes work? JAMES It’s- I don’t know - if you ever need a rainbow you get a rainbow. MERIDETH That’s insane. I love it. JAMES Yea, it’s insane I love it, yea. LOGAN So, does it like fix people? JAMES Yea. It provides an energy and positivity that will make anything come to life I guess. SPENCER Um, how many- how many episodes? JAMES It’s 25 volumes. 736 episodes total. If you ever want to see it I’ve got it on tape, too. SPENCER Dude please. SPENCER That’d be dope as shit. JAMES Yea. Yea, it’s pretty dope as shit. MERIDETH Hey, James, do you want one of these? JAMES Yea. Also, did I say that there’s going to be a movie? MERIDETH What? JAMES Yea, I’m making it. MERIDETH You’re making a movie? JAMES I’m making a Brigsby movie. SPENCER Tight! That’s awesome! LOGAN Hey, can I be in it? JAMES Yea, well we’ll see. JAMES You guys are in it. We’ll see about you. I’m just kidding. Yes, I want you in it. MERIDETH Are you okay? Let’s go sit down. MERIDETH Sit here. Careful. Here you go. Here, drink this. Don’t worry. My first time rolling was intense too, but why don’t you just relax and let go. It feels really nice. JAMES I’m not used to it. MERIDETH There’s probably a lot of stuff you’ve never done, huh? JAMES I guess so. MERIDETH Have you ever been with a girl? JAMES Mm-hmm. On the internet. But that was really just my first parents playing tricks on me. MERIDETH Relax. JAMES Oh! That feels very- that feels very nice. Thank you for what- Thank you for what you’re doing. That feels very nice. Thank you for that! Thank you for that! AUBREY James! JAMES Sorry. AUBREY James. What are you doing? You’re embarrassing me. JAMES I’m very sorry, Aubrey! SPENCER James. Dude hold on. JAMES Thank you for my first party, Spencer. SPENCER Yo, James where you going? James, hold up. SUN SNATCHER James! Where are you even going man? JAMES Sun Snatcher! SUN SNATCHER How are you possibly this wasted right now? JAMES Stay away from me, Snatcher. SUN SNATCHER Did you and Merideth smash? JAMES No. JAMES Tricksand! JAMES What happened? SPENCER Oh, shit there he is. SPENCER You just started tripping; you passed out in the backyard. So, I just brought you in. SPENCER And Aubrey talked to your parents so you’re good, dude. JAMES I’m really very sorry Mr. Spencer. SPENCER Dude, it’s just Spence, bro. JAMES Spence. SPENCER Yea. JAMES Is this stuff from a show? SPENCER Oh, dude no. Man, these are the classics, SPENCER dude. You got a lot of catching up to do, bro. JAMES It’s all classics Wait whoa, what’s all that? SPENCER Oh no this is just some bullshit, I guess. SPENCER Yea, you know I’m still learning and I want to go to college for it or something. JAMES It looks like- it looks like it’s going well and maybe you could do more of it. SPENCER Yea. JAMES Alright, so these are JAMES the best of volume 14 to 25. That’s when the show started getting good. SPENCER Nice. SPENCER Whoa. Donald Duck’s in this shit. JAMES No that’s Goody Goose. He’s the top pilot in the Starsquad Alliance. SPENCER Well he looks like Donald Duck. It’s this cartoon character. JAMES Well it’s not. It’s Goody Goose. SPENCER Yea, oh and I’ll get these to Aubrey when I’m done. Cool? JAMES Cool. SPENCER Alright, bro. JAMES Alright, bro. VOGEL I’m sorry, James. Tell me again - what is this for exactly? JAMES That’s a list of everything I need for the Brigsby movie I’m making. I need all the cameras from my old dad’s Brigsby set. JAMES Any props, costumes, all that. Oh, also JAMES I need to find the Smile sisters. Whoever they are in real life. You guys got the stuff, right? VOGEL We do, but it’s VOGEL part of an ongoing police investigation. JAMES Okay, JAMES so after that? VOGEL After that it becomes police property. JAMES What do you say we keep this between you and me? VOGEL I can’t accept that. JAMES Then I’m taking it back. VOGEL Don’t be mad at me. JAMES I’m not mad. I’m just a little more rich. VOGEL Hello, James. Still hanging around, huh? JAMES I feel like I wasn’t clear earlier about what I’m trying to do here. Try to imagine a hero and he’s not on the bad side; he’s on the good side. But he has to go against a guy on the bad side. So that’s why he decides he’s going to go on an adventure. Plus, it’s not on TV it’s on a screen so big you’re going to feel like you’re in another world. VOGEL Right. No, I know what a- what a movie is. And I think it’s really great to be creative. I actually performed in a lot of plays when I was in high school. JAMES No way. VOGEL Prospero, “The Tempest.” I pray thee. Mark me! That a brother could be so perfidious. He who next thyself in all the world loves a- I don’t remember the rest of it. But you know it’s JAMES That was so good. That was What? VOGEL I didn’t have any time to prepare anything so it was just JAMES No that was amazing. Do you do theaters? VOGEL No I, I’m- no, I’m just saying I know what you’re trying to do. And I think it’s- I think it’s great, James. JAMES Why? VOGEL Why what? JAMES Why don’t you do it anymore? VOGEL Act? VOGEL You know, things change. You get older, move on. VOGEL I do this now. JAMES It’s very sad you didn’t get to do what was important to you. JAMES Bye, Detective Vogel. BANDER Detective? VOGEL Hey. BANDER You lookin’ for something? VOGEL No. I thought I left my keys in here. LOUISE So, what do you think? We got world geography, very fun. And European History which is a lot of action. LOUISE Ancient Religions. JAMES Could I learn how to pilot a car? LOUISE Yea. You know I, I don’t see why not. LOUISE Just have to get you a learners’ permit. GREG Hey, that would be fun. You’re supposed to take a couple classes and a written test but I’d take you out, show you the ropes. JAMES It sounds like the great chimes of Enow. LOUISE Oh, that’s Do you want to answer the door? VOGEL James. VOGEL Just the man I was looking for. JAMES Wait, where’s all your soldier stuff? VOGEL Huh? VOGEL I’m off duty right now. VOGEL Now look VOGEL there’s no way I could get you everything on that list alright? but forensics does have more evidence than they know what to do with. So, I figured they wouldn’t miss a couple items VOGEL like JAMES The Sortis Crystal! VOGEL That’s what I thought. VOGEL Yea, and I found this VOGEL inback. It wasn’t on the list, but JAMES Bortep’s staff! That- I thought that was stuck in a time flux. VOGEL I don’t know what that is but it’s got a nice weight to it. VOGEL And last but not least one of these VOGEL bad boys. JAMES That’s Brigsby. VOGEL Yea? I assumed. Look VOGEL it holds a cassette in the back. It’s nice. JAMES And is do I get to have it? VOGEL You could hold onto it. Alright, I’m not technically supposed to have this stuff. VOGEL So, nothing in public, right? JAMES Thank you! This is so dope as shit. VOGEL You’re welcome. JAMES Yes. Very dope as shit, huh? Hey, can you grab some more of the stuff? GREG Sure. VOGEL Sorry about that, Mr. Pope. VOGEL I hope I wasn’t intruding today. GREG Oh, no, not at all. No. But I will say, uh this transition we’ve been going through hasn’t exactly been easy as you know. VOGEL Oh, I can imagine. Listen, I’m just trying to help. GREG That’s the thing, actually. This Brigsby business GREG I realize James is a big fan. But, all this stuff GREG These aren’t collector’s items we’re talking about. GREG These are tools used by very sick people to imprison my son. VOGEL Right. Of course. I’m sorry. I just VOGEL I just wanted to help him with this movie of his. GREG He’s making a movie? JAMES What else you got in here- Brizzle Wizzle, what?! He’s one of the most powerful Wizzles except for when he works with Tizzle! VOGEL Sorry BRIGSBY HEAD Quasar. If we act fast it should give us enough power to blast all the way JAMES See, when- if you press play it will move and sound. BRIGSBY HEAD What do you think, gang? JAMES Isn’t that amazing! LOUISE Wow. Wow. That is really that’s really something huh? GREG Yea. Very interesting. BRIGSBY HEAD We know what we have to do. But there’s only one way into the Forbidden Forest. JAMES I know this one: JAMES “We must pass through the core of the planet.” BRIGSBY HEAD “We must pass through the core of the planet.” JAMES But isn’t that- that’s where’s the fire JAMES gods live? In the fire realm? BRIGSBY HEAD Yes, but we must make peace with the gods of fire. JAMES So JAMES maybe we do the studies another time? JAMES And I’ll head to my room for the rest of the day. LOUISE Are you hungry? Because I can make you a sandwich LOUISE and we can listen to some more Briggles Bear. GREG Oh wait. Why don’t we take a look at the list. GREG I mean it’s Saturday. JAMES No, thanks. AUBREY Oh my God. JAMES Oh sorry. It’s me James. JAMES Not a real bear. AUBREY What is wrong with you? JAMES Well, I was abducted and I feel like that has something AUBREY No. I get it. AUBREY Okay, this whole thing is weird enough without you trying to hang out with people my age or embarrass me in front of my friends. Also, people are saying you hooked up with Merideth? AUBREY Tell mom you need your own phone. JAMES Okay. AUBREY Talk. JAMES What do you want me to say? AUBREY Into the phone. JAMES Hello? SPENCER James, we gotta talk about this show, dude! JAMES It’s Spencer. AUBREY I know. SPENCER Alright, so like first of all in that last episode - thank you - when Brigsby’s in that ice planet right before the federation invades. JAMES Yeah, but that’s when Brigsby reveals the moon base SPENCER Yea, but it’s an old Brigsby to like the future Brigsby. JAMES Yeah. “Hope is not yet lost!” That’s what old Brigsby says to - well, himself. SPENCER It’s a piece of art. SPENCER It's like this whole TV show made in a. And all the characters he put into that one universe SPENCER Oh, then at the end of the episode when Sun Snatcher melts the peace treaty before it has time to take effect. SPENCER That’s like really good story telling, dude. SPENCER You okay? JAMES Yea no. That- that’s- that was one of my favorite parts, too. SPENCER Okay, so are you like are you doing SPENCER original or are you doing the same story? JAMES It’s basically right where the show left off. JAMES Snatcher is more powerful than ever. Galaxy is on the brink of destruction. The old JAMES alliances are broken and there’s only one bear that can save it. JAMES Guess who? JAMES Brigsby. SPENCER So, like, what happens next? JAMES Okay, so JAMES first Pla’torian raiders come in on their lightships, and they take his bear parents prisoner. JAMES Then they bring him to a new world he never even knew existed: JAMES The Future Light Fortress. It is massive! JAMES And that’s when it gets complicated. JAMES He’s got to escape the palace. He travels to Forever JAMES Mountain, gets the Sortis Crystal and then he finally, JAMES finally finds the Smiles Sisters and for the first time ever, JAMES Brigsby defeats Sun Snatcher, once and for all. JAMES And then maybe at some point he gets his JAMES bear parents out of space jail. Because if you think about what they did - it wasn’t even that bad. SPENCER Dude this is insane. It’s so good. Bro, you could use SPENCER my camera. Like, we could start shooting this thing right now. Like Brigsby’s the only one in that scene, right? JAMES Yea. SPENCER We could shoot that shit tomorrow dude. JAMES Really? SPENCER Yea, man. I actually know a place that looks SPENCER just like that an hour and a half away. And if we just add some- some green screen and some props I mean, we’ve got some work but it’s doable. ARIELLE Brigsby, what’s wrong? JAMES Wait - how did Brigsby get in there? SPENCER Oh, yea, so I uploaded some clips online. SPENCER And I was going to send you the link since I know you don’t got a VCR or whatever. SPENCER And they’ve there are couple hundred views already. Tight. JAMES So- so now they’re there are real people who who are watching the show? SPENCER Yea man. People are going to want to see this SPENCER shit, dude. It’s like pretty awesome if you ask me. SPENCER We just got to figure out the rest of that costume. JAMES And- and you- and you really want to do this with me? SPENCER Yea man. I mean there’s not a lot of stuff like this out there. And I’ve never done a home movie. SPENCER So, why not? And I got a drug test coming up in a SPENCER couple weeks so I’ve just been hanging around bored to shit all the time. SPENCER Oh, and we got to do that Brigsby theme song, right? JAMES Yes! SPENCER Dun SPENCER dun, dun, Dun, dun, dun, dun JAMES dun, dun, Dun, dun, dun, dun JAMES You’re my friend. JAMES Wait, Spence. This is what we should use for the third raid. JAMES Arielle. The Shadow Galaxy is more than 14 Neons away. BRIGSBY I will miss all of you when you pass away, even though you brought this upon yourselves. BRIGSBY See, curiosity is an unnatural emotion. SPENCER There’s still a tech, go! JAMES Arielle, the Goads aren’t working. JAMES Fire away! SPENCER Good. Now, foot off the brake just drive and we’ll just get out of here. JAMES I’m driving a car! SPENCER He’s driving a car! BRIGSBY When my elders speak, I’m always listening If I don’t I get my daily discipline. Disa- discipline BRIGSBY Go to sleep, Disa- discipline Go, go, go to sleep. BRIGSBY Close your eyes. Go, go to sleep. BRIGSBY and remember - BRIGSBY always sweep your corridors, and if you’re feeling romantic emotions, only touch your penis twice a day. LOUISE Okay. Is that everything? JAMES Yep. That’s everything I need for my new garden. EXCITED MAN Hey, excuse me EXCITED MAN Are you the bear guy? JAMES Mm-hmm. EXCITED MAN Holy shit! EXCITED MAN Oh my god! EXCITED MAN I saw you, and like - you got the shirt EXCITED MAN on JAMES Oh, it’s Brigsby’s art grid. EXCITED MAN That’s right - the art grid! EXCITED MAN Wow. My friends and I love those videos, EXCITED MAN man. They’re incredible. I know EXCITED MAN you didn’t make them But like they were made for you by your like freak dad. EXCITED MAN That’s so messed up. EXCITED MAN Can I get a photo with you? EXCITED MAN Do you mind? JAMES No. I could do a photo. EXCITED MAN Hi, can you, take a photo of us? LOUISE Oh me, yea. EXCITED MAN Is this your real mom? JAMES Yea. EXCITED MAN Wow LOUISE Okay there. Pretty good. Got the thumbs up there. EXCITED MAN Thanks. Well, uh - peace man. JAMES Yea. Peace man. EXCITED MAN Kidnap kid. JAMES I guess the key thing to think about here JAMES is that Feldo Mortese is a powerful Bandith Warrior. SPENCER But he's sad, right? JAMES Yes exactly. He's sad. That’s the whole reason why he lives in JAMES the cave. VOGEL Makes sense. Give it a shot? JAMES Let’s do it! VOGEL Your parents aren’t coming home VOGEL any time soon right? JAMES Yea. One’s doing golf and the other one’s at the stores. VOGEL Sure. JAMES And action. VOGEL Our kind rose up against the one you call Sun Snatcher. But we lost. Those who survived, fled. Leaving only me, cowering, in the dark corner of a forgotten world. VOGEL You, Brigsby Bear, are the chosen one. VOGEL You are our last hope. Our keeper of the light. JAMES Cut. SPENCER Wow! JAMES Perfect. SPENCER Yea. JAMES Thank you. Detective Vogel. That was amazing. We’re moving on- VOGEL No can I try another one? I think maybe I could bring it to another level. JAMES Really, another one? VOGEL I don’t know I could try something. JAMES Okay, just don’t break any sacred codes of Bandith culture. VOGEL Okay. I don’t know what those are- JAMES It’s a distinct set of laws that the Bandith follow. JAMES It’s kind of their way of life SPENCER We’re rolling. VOGEL I’m not ready. JAMES Okay. Take your time. BRIGSBY Your magical powers are getting stronger by the day, Smile Sisters! ARIELLE Soon we will be strong enough to kill Sun Snatcher. BRIGSBY That’s right. But first we have to make our physical body strong. BRIGSBY Ready, everyone? And one and lunge and two and remember- we’re all just BRIGSBY rapidly decaying organic material. And hop. GREG Not bad. GREG Good aim. GREG Here wait. I’ve got an idea. GREG We can make it a lot easier. Like that. And we can do slam dunks. Alley-oop JAMES Hmm? GREG I’m open. Here. Throw me the ball. GREG Okay darn it. I’m okay. Here, GREG your turn. JAMES Actually, I’m pretty busy with my movie today. GREG Hey, you can take a break, right? I mean, you’ve been working real hard. It might be fun to just hang out, you and me. SPENCER I’m pretty sure I’ve been there. MERIDETH What the ocean? AUBREY A nondescript body of water. SPENCER Oh no. SPENCER I might be making that up. JAMES Hello, MERIDETH. MERIDETH Hey what’s up, man? JAMES Not much, man. AUBREY So, what are you guys doing? SPENCER Good question. We’re actually going SPENCER to go filming but then we’re going to go hiking and SPENCER camping. JAMES We’re going JAMES to a real mountain. You guys should come. AUBREY I don’t know SPENCER Oh, come on. It’ll be fun. SPENCER You can, you know, be staff master. MERIDETH This is kind of cool. SPENCER I got drinks. Logan is bringing SPENCER weed. JAMES It’s going to be so much fun. And it’s also going to be Dope as shit. MERIDETH Okay, one two three. JAMES Spencer, there’s the transporter thing right here. Brigsby’s just come back He lands right here, spins into it SPENCER Yeah, so I’ll take two shots? JAMES So, I’m gonna spin into it. Give me an action. SPENCER Alright Action! EVERYONE AUBREY James, oh my god. JAMES What’s the issue? AUBREY Brigsby’s eye is gone. JAMES Oh no! AUBREY You’re blind right now, dude. JAMES He can’t even see right now! JAMES How are you supposed to travel on an adventure when he can’t even see where he’s going? AUBREY I got it. I got it. Come over here. Let me fix this. Get him on Ta-da! AUBREY There you go. JAMES Perfect. Now he can see. AUBREY Exactly. Now he can transport inter-dimensionally. JAMES From the beaches of Inra. AUBREY Exactly. AUBREY Good job. JAMES Good job, man. JAMES Thanks. Alright let’s go. MERIDETH These flowers are everywhere. They’re so pretty. SPENCER Hey guys, it’s right over here. Come on, dude. JAMES I’m coming. JAMES Hey, Merideth. Can we talk for a second? MERIDETH Sure, what’s up? JAMES Maybe we can go for a walk. MERIDETH Okay. JAMES First of all, I- I think that you’re so great. MERIDETH Thanks, man. I think you’re chill, too. JAMES Thanks. And, um - I thought the party was- was really fun. MERIDETH Yea, you were wasted. JAMES Yea. Listen, this is kind of hard for me because I know that we both really liked touching each other’s bodies JAMES and doing sex type stuff. JAMES But, um I don’t think I can marry you. MERIDETH Yea, for sure. JAMES Wait. So, you’re okay with that? MERIDETH Yea, MERIDETH of course. I’m never getting married. My parents are so messed up and sad. JAMES Really? That’s great. JAMES I was- I was JAMES so nerv nervous. Thank you. JAMES I was like - am I going to have to get married to her? But I’m still JAMES also totally into doing that other stuff we did too. MERIDETH Yea, not a chance. JAMES Okay AUBREY James. JAMES Hey. AUBREY Was it this song? JAMES I don’t JAMES think so, but I do- I like this. That sounds good to me. AUBREY What about this one? JAMES Yes! That’s it right there. AUBREY Dude, I’m obsessed with this song. I’ll make you a playlist. JAMES What? I’ve always wanted that and I’m going to get one? AUBREY Yeah, dude. JAMES That’s awesome. AUBREY For sure. JAMES For sure. AUBREY They probably didn’t let you listen to much music, huh? JAMES No, no, I did. But it was mostly just stuff by the Beatlers. Because my old dad was JAMES in the band. MERIDETH Did you just say MERIDETH Beatlers? JAMES Yea, the JAMES Beatlers. Actually, I think I’ve got JAMES one of their tapes. JAMES Let me, can I borrow that Logan? LOGAN Sure man. JAMES I think you’re gonna like this. MERIDETH No! AUBREY They suck. AUBREY This is like definitely the worst song I’ve ever heard. I kind of love it. JAMES Right. JAMES It’s too bad you weren’t abducted. I bet we would have had fun together. AUBREY Yea, I guess. AUBREY I’m sorry that I’ve- I’ve AUBREY been kind of whatever to you. JAMES It’s okay. I’m glad- I’m glad you came out. AUBREY Yea, me too. JAMES Give me one of these right here. SPENCER Aww! AUBREY Shut up. SPENCER Nah, but for real it’s about to get dark out we should go out and set up the next shot. JAMES Yes! Let’s do it! JAMES It is time. And he’s coming with me. MERIDETH Bye, guys. Have fun. JAMES Bye, Merideth. JAMES Check this out. SPENCER Alright. No! No shit. SPENCER You made this? JAMES I did. Mainframe right here. Quadrium processor. SPENCER Dude, it’s going to look so frickin good. JAMES It’s going to look so frickin good. SPENCER Ready? JAMES All set. SPENCER What was that? JAMES You get it? SPENCER You mean that frickin bomb that exploded? Yea, what was that? JAMES I worked on it yesterday. I thought our movie could use JAMES more big budget appeal! SPENCER Shit! JAMES Did it look cool? SPENCER You’re telling me I’ve been driving around in a car full of explosives the whole day? JAMES I know you said you wanted to use animation but I thought if we did it for real it would be better. Plus, practical effects are a dying art JAMES form SPENCER You can’t just SPENCER blow shit up, man. JAMES Why not? SPENCER Because you just- SPENCER Shit! COAST GUARD Step away from the device. COAST GUARD Put your COAST GUARD hands in the air. JAMES It’s okay. It’s JAMES just the police. They’re nice. COAST GUARD I said hands in the COAST GUARD air. JAMES We’re okay. We don’t need any police help. COAST GUARD Freeze! JAMES Sorry about the mess. JAMES We’re going to finish cleaning up. Thank you. JAMES Dude, the next time we have to do an explosion let’s just do your idea with the animation. BANDER Officers say they found marijuana and an open container of alcohol in the truck. BANDER Not to mention the improvised explosive device, the detonation of which is technically an act of domestic terrorism. BANDER You got anything to say for yourself? JAMES Everything that happened was my fault. The marijuana smokings, the bad drinks. Those are mine. The explosion stuff too. Nobody else should get in trouble. BANDER Where did you get BANDER the bear mask? JAMES I stole it. BANDER You stole it. JAMES I’m sorry to you. JAMES And I’m very sorry to America. BANDER I watched the tapes. JAMES What tapes? BANDER The Bear show. Several episodes. JAMES Which ones? BANDER Uh - I don’t know. Quite BANDER a few. There’s one where he met a wizard under a waterfall and learned multiplication. JAMES Oh, JAMES that- that’s one of those for kids. I mean it was for me I guess. When I was a kid. BANDER Yea. I get the gist. They really did a number on you, didn’t they. JAMES I was just making Brigsby. EMILY We’re not EMILY here to talk about Brigsby, James. This is about you. EMILY And we want you to recognize this chance you have EMILY Right now, to embrace a new start. JAMES So, what does that mean? EMILY It means putting Brigsby aside EMILY And moving on with the rest of your life. JAMES So, what, just forget about him? LOUISE James, LOUISE I know that this is hard but there is a bigger world out there than you even know. LOUISE And it’s filled with so many amazing and wonderful things. GREG Yea, GREG remember - like Gordo from Hockey High. JAMES But I don’t care about that stuff. I already know that Brigsby’s the greatest hero and when everything’s against him he never gives up. Even if it’s hopeless. He’s my whole life. GREG Your whole life, huh? GREG How about your whole life we have been out there looking for you. For 25 years. I’m sorry. But these monsters stole you from us. And they destroyed us. Can you understand that? Huh? JAMES You don’t know anything about Brigsby. At all. And you never will. ARIELLE Can I get you something to drink? ARIELLE Sir? JAMES Uh, yes. Yea. Yea. Um I just have this many credits. ARIELLE Okay. That will get you, let’s see. Fountain drink or a cup of coffee. Could get you a cookie maybe. Hello? JAMES Sorry. Sorry, um I just never would of guessed I’d find you this far outside the gates of Glenrona. ARIELLE You’re the James, right? ARIELLE Um My shift is almost up can you give me a minute? JAMES Mm-hmm. ARIELLE Okay. ARIELLE I guess I found out when you did, basically It was just a little bit extra cash every month, I mean He told me it was for a Canadian public access. ARIELLE I just show up and he gave me my lines. I never really asked a lot of questions obviously. ARIELLE I’ve been sick to my stomach. I wished that I had never done it. I don’t know what to say. I’m really just so, so sorry for everything. JAMES Sorry? You and Brigsby I guess your sister Nina, too. JAMES You were the only JAMES thing that made the world okay. JAMES You were all I had. JAMES I guess you still are. ARIELLE You do realize that I’m not actually her, right? My name is Whitney. JAMES No, I know. I know now. ARIELLE Okay, but Nina too. It was just a camera trick. JAMES Yea. It’s actually a really cool affect. ARIELLE Sure JAMES But you made it so real. And the way that you were JAMES always there for Brigsby He couldn’t have done it by himself. ARIELLE How did you find me? JAMES Same way Brigsby JAMES did I guess Destiny ARIELLE Sorry, uh I got to go pick up my kid in a few minutes. It was really nice to ARIELLE meet you. You seem ARIELLE really sweet. JAMES Wait. JAMES Before you go, in JAMES volume 19 during that four-episode arc all about the Quantix JAMES did you really JAMES not know anything about it the whole time? Or were you just trying to protect Wizzles? ARIELLE I really don’t remember that. JAMES And you- you would never want to do it again, right? To help finish it? ARIELLE I don’t think JAMES It looks like it’s time for me to go anyway. ARIELLE Those are for you? JAMES Hate to say it, but yep. JAMES I’ve been an outlaw ever since I came into this world. JAMES It’s dope as shit. JAMES Here You’re the only one who can keep it safe. ARIELLE What? JAMES Thanks for the food and the Coke. Also, JAMES I’m in love with you. Always have been. JAMES Please no tackle this time. JAMES Please. Thank you. GREG What choice do we have? LOUISE He’s not dangerous. LOUISE He needs us. He LOUISE needs us to make more of an effort. GREG You heard what Dr. Larson recommended to the judge. LOUISE So, what? So, we just kick him out? GREG He’s obsessed. We’re out of options. GREG He needs help. ERIC What are you working on? JAMES Some circles. ERIC I’m Eric. JAMES I’m James. JAMES You get it? Yes! JAMES It’s so much better just shooting Brigsby JAMES out here. Because like the old shows are like fake. But this is the real world. It’s outside. It’s amazing. I love making a movie. All you got to do is get your friends and then put the pieces together and then tell a story. And then that’s how you make a Brigsby Bear fantastic movie. JAMES That will be playing for years to come. Let’s go get that other shot. EMILY James. EMILY I want to start by saying I know it’s been EMILY incredibly tough but you’ve made enormous strides. EMILY There’s something I need to tell you; EMILY Ted and April have both pleaded guilty. And that means they’re going away. Probably for a long time. EMILY It’s totally, totally understandable to have conflicting feelings about that. VOGEL Mr. Pope. GREG Detective. GREG I was hoping that we could talk. VOGEL Yea. Is it about Feldo Mortese? GREG What’s Feldo Mortese? VOGEL It’s a saying here at the department we use. It’s life please sit down. ERIC Take it. ERIC That’s all my weapons. ERIC Swords, throwing stars. And some other stuff. But, it will keep you safe. JAMES Thanks, Eric. ERIC So how are you planning to break out of here? JAMES It’s pretty complicated. AUBREY James? JAMES How did this happen? LOUISE Well this was supposed to be LOUISE a surprise for when you got home. But, wait, why are you home? JAMES But they- they- they- they told me that they were going to get rid of everything. SPENCER Yea, but Feldo over here gave us a heads up. AUBREY It was Dad’s AUBREY idea though to use the garage. JAMES Really? GREG Yea. Well Aubrey showed us some of the stuff you did together. Well, I think it was really cool, son. GREG And I thought about our list and hey, maybe this is a great GREG thing for the family to do together. JAMES But they told me JAMES I couldn’t even think about Brigsby or they wouldn’t let me leave. GREG Okay, well GREG we think Dr. Larson is being a little hard on you. JAMES Yea. LOUISE And you’ve been doing so well LOUISE with everything else. And in a couple weeks you are going to have an independent evaluation and hopefully that means you get to come home. Permanently. JAMES And then then we can finish Brigsby? LOUISE Yea. GREG We’re your family, James. GREG We love you for who you are. GREG And we know that Brigsby is part of that. SPENCER Wait, yo- yo, dude. James SPENCER How did you get here? JAMES I threw a TV through the window. VOGEL Are you going to cut me out of your movie? JAMES No. VOGEL Well, then I didn’t hear anything. GREG I mean, they don’t know you’re gone yet, right? GREG We’ll probably get a call. You want to help us unpack a little bit? GREG Maybe tell us what the heck it all is? JAMES Yea. GREG Come here, what’s this? GREG Come on. JAMES That’s a Lingler but the head came off. GREG Oh, we need a Lingler head. You okay, kiddo? JAMES Yea, I think so. GREG Well, I’ll be here if you need me. JAMES Thanks. TED You’re all grown TED up and out in the world and just, wow!! TED I didn’t know if I’d ever get to see you again. TED So, how are you, bud? JAMES I’m good. With my original family now. JAMES And I go to a math school. JAMES It’s pretty easy so far. TED That’s fantastic. You know your mo April would be so happy to hear that. TED Have you been to see her yet? No, well we write each other. TED You know she finally solved the Vansmithe. JAMES What is it? TED Six! The whole time! JAMES Um The JAMES reason I came here is because I had a question. TED Well I don’t know how much of it I can really explain. You know I still think about the day she came home with you in her arms. TED And it wasn’t my idea exactly, but TED there you were. And I think I was scared. TED And I knew it was wrong, but some part TED of me felt like you were our boy. And we wanted to give you everything we had to give. JAMES That’s not really why I’m here though. TED What is this? JAMES “Brigsby Bear Adventures - The Movie.” TED You wrote it? JAMES Mm-hmm. Yea. JAMES I finished it with my family and friends. JAMES We also got a bunch of free money from the internet. TED James TED That is outstanding. JAMES There’s still one thing we can’t get right, though. TED And what is that? JAMES All the voices. JAMES We’re having a movie premiere next week. TED Well TED I am a little interested in the direction TED you took it. You ready? TED “It was a time of reckoning for the galaxy I called home. TED And a time of great magic. TED The Drumbus had vanished in some great cataclysm. And the Sortis Crystal was lost. SPENCER Yo, where’s he at? MERIDETH I don’t know. Did you talk to him? LOGAN I haven’t seen him. BRIGSBY It was a time of reckoning for the galaxy I called home. BRIGSBY And a time of great magic. SPENCER James, SPENCER dude. what’s going on? JAMES What if they don’t like it? SPENCER Dude, James, who who cares what they think. SPENCER You finished Brigsby. JAMES I think I’m just going to hang here for a bit. SUN SNATCHER I have you now, Bear. ARIELLE Snatcher simply can’t be defeated, Brigsby! FELDO Perhaps not, my friends. And so, now, a choice Perish here together, and watch Snatcher enslave all worlds? Or fold every molecule of this dimension into a singularity FELDO creating a whole new universe. One where the forces of light can fight on together. BRIGSBY A new beginning? BRIGSBY Arielle, the amulet quick! BRIGSBY Good bye, Arielle. BRIGSBY You too, Nina. BRIGSBY Until our next adventure! SUN SNATCHER Nooo!