ALEXA ALICE BETSY BUBBLES CAMPERS CHOIR FLASHLIGHT HEDGEHOG HOWARD KETTLE LUCY MAX MOON OLIVER OSCAR PAJAMAS PEPPER ROCK ROCKS SOCK SOFTBALL SUSIE TREE YETI OSCAR The dragon storms down from the rocks, he picks up Princess Marshmallow in his terrifying grip, and he says- PAJAMAS What does he say? OSCAR “Princess Marshmallow, I love you. Can’t you see that?!” OSCAR Princess Marshmallow thinks for a second and then she says—She says! SUSIE Lights out! PAJAMAS “Lights out”? That’s pretty mysterious. OSCAR No, Pajamas. It’s Susie. SUSIE Everyone turn your lights out! YETI OLIVER I wholeheartedly agree. SUSIE I’ll be up for another hour cause I’m the Camp Counselor, but you have to go to bed now because you’re bay-bies! MOON Did she just call me a baby? Because I’m pretty sure I’m older than her. OSCAR No, Moon. I’m the baby. Goodnight, Pajamas. PAJAMAS Oscar! Hey Oscar! I’m too jazzed to sleep. OSCAR I know, Pajamas. Here. The camp guide will put you to sleep. You hate this thing! PAJAMAS It’s so predictable! OSCAR Okay Yetis, Monsters, FLASHLIGHT OSCAR Hurt Feelings, Cool Distracting Stuff, Whoa! This page is missing! Pajamas, are you seeing this? PAJAMAS OSCAR I love you Princess Marshmallow SUSIE What do you want? OSCAR Hey Susie. So Wait a second. Are you brushing your teeth and eating breakfast at the same time? SUSIE I don’t like wasting time. Speaking of which OSCAR Oh right! So I was looking through my camp guide last night and— SUSIE What ripped out pages? OSCAR I didn’t say anything about ripped out pages. SUSIE Don’t make me call lights out at 8 in the morning. OSCAR You wouldn’t dare. SUSIE Wouldn’t I? OSCAR Susie! Dumb Susie. Dumb ripped out pages. HOWARD Hey Oscar! OSCAR Huh? TREE Oh! HOWARD Hey, Oscar. Hey! C’mere. Do you wanna help me clean out the unicorn stable? I think you’ll find it “enlightening.” OSCAR Are you saying what I’m looking for is IN the unicorn stables? HOWARD I dunno. Am I? OSCAR Agh there’s nothing here. BUBBLES OSCAR Gesundheit. I swear Bubbles, this is the last time I fall for Howard’s “help me clean out the stables” bit. BUBBLES OSCAR Ya know? Ha-ha! This changes everything. Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! This is higher than I thought. HEDGEHOG I got you Oscar! Oof! OSCAR Thanks Hedgehog! Guess what? MAX You got a cool new hat? OSCAR This cool new hat is the answer to all our hopes and dreams! HEDGEHOG What is It, Oscar? OSCAR It’s a page that was ripped out of the camp guide and apparently, we can win merit badges for being good at camp activities. 6 badges, we get an extra dessert. 10 badges, we get a scalp massage from a yeti! And for 50 badges, you get a trip to a secret chocolate water park complete with chocolate money fountain. PEPPER Whoa. KETTLE Whoa. OSCAR So you guys wanna do it? HEDGEHOG Definitely. But how do we know if it’s working? OSCAR CHOIR You know about the badges! OSCAR “You know about the badges” badge! It’s working! Okay guys lets go get some badges. HEDGEHOG MOON Hedgehog don’t look at me while I’m dancing! CHOIR Astronomy! SOFTBALL Whoa! CHOIR Softball! PEPPER Homerun. CHOIR 2 hour nap! Swimming with sharks! Piano montage music! OSCAR Ok! So we got 6 badges! Not bad! LUCY Ok so if we keep this up, in 7 days, we’d get one chocolate pudding each? Pfft – not worth it. OSCAR Or! We could pool our badges and get one chocolate pudding right now! CAMPERS Yeah! SUSIE Oh man this tomato soup is going to be so good. OSCAR Susie! Susie! SUSIE What are you doing here? OSCAR We want our extra chocolate pudding. SUSIE Oh no. It’s legit. BETSY Then you have to give them the dessert Susie – that’s the rules. SUSIE You know sometimes I really hate you Betsy. BETSY Here you go Oscar. OSCAR Thanks Betsy! SUSIE I was going to eat that for dinner. OSCAR CAMPERS And we’ll be back tomorrow for the scalp massage! HEDGEHOG Oscar, you genius! OSCAR Did you see the look on Susie’s face? I can’t wait to get more prizes. SUSIE Susie you buffoon. Did you see the look on Oscar’s face? We can’t let those babies get anymore prizes. These are our rewards! We deserve them! ALICE No we don’t. BETSY But Susie – Summer Camp law dictates that we HAVE to give the kids prizes if they collect enough badges. SUSIE SOCK Well then we can’t let them get anymore badges then. Can we? Betsy! OSCAR Pepper, you hit it out of the park yesterday with your 2 hour nap. Do you think you could go for the five now? PEPPER Are you kidding? I’m getting tired just watching you guys! OSCAR Easy peasy. SUSIE Lemon squeezy. OSCAR Hi Tree! TREE Hi! SUSIE OSCAR You’re toast, Oscar. Literally. Butter! Whoa! ALICE ALEXA Jello. Wahh! BETSY HEDGEHOG Marshmallows. Whoa! ALICE Bubble gum. SUSIE PEPPER SUSIE LUCY Confetti. Woah! Spaghetti. Whoa! OSCAR We didn’t get ANY badges? I don’t get it. We did so well yesterday. PEPPER I don’t want to critique with your strategies Oscar, but covering me in exploding confetti really didn’t help with my REM cycle. OSCAR I didn’t cover you in exploding confe – SUSIE. SUSIE Prance prance prance. Ha cha cha! Ha cha cha! Ha cha cha! OSCAR Do you think I’m some kind of a fool? SUSIE Oh. Yes! I’m sorry was that not clear? Because that’s on me. OSCAR I know you’re sabotaging us. I just can’t figure out why?! Like why does it matter if we get an extra dessert? Or a scalp massage? Or a chocolate money fountain? Chocolate money fountain! You’ve been stealing all the prizes for yourself! SUSIE And what are you gonna do about it? Baby. OSCAR Everything. Okay campers! Today we’re going to win as many badges as is humanly possible. HEDGEHOG Oscar, we’re pretty exhausted. Why don’t we just hang out today? It’s just chocolate money. OSCAR This isn’t about the chocolate money anymore Hedgehog. This is so much bigger than chocolate money. Hey Howard! HOWARD Hey what’s up little guy? Ok. Here we go. OSCAR Campers! Do you want to live in a world where you can only have one dessert for dinner? OSCAR Do you want to turn your lights out whenever Susie tells you to? OSCAR Are you ready to take back the camp? HEDGEHOG Oscar let’s do this! Do you have a plan? OSCAR I do not have a plan! MAX Woo! OSCAR Okay, plan, plan. Okay! Here’s what we need to do. Everyone will need to distract the witches while I break off and earn as many badges as possible. HEDGEHOG OSCAR They’re gonna notice you’re gone Oscar. Hmm. SUSIE Ha! This is too easy. HEDGEHOG I hope this works Oscar! CHOIR Wilderness Badge! OSCAR Yes! CHOIR Yeti Grooming! Saw a Loch Ness Monster! OSCAR Hey Moon! I made you a friendship bracelet! MOON CHOIR CAMPERS SUSIE Hang gliding! Friends with Moon! HEDGEHOG No no no no. BETSY You knew he was fake? SUSIE I was 50/50. Well ladies looks like we’re just going to have to go looking for the real one. HEDGEHOG Oscar she’s coming! OSCAR Huh? SUSIE Hey dummy. OSCAR Oh boy. SUSIE You can’t outrun me Oscar! OSCAR Ah! Ow! Ah! Ow! SUSIE CHOIR Hurdling! OSCAR Yes! SUSIE No! OSCAR Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. SUSIE Is there a badge for letting all your friends get smushed by rocks, Oscar? OSCAR Ok plan plan. I need a plan. I do not have a plan! Run Hedgehog!! MAX I’m sure he’s okay, Hedgehog. OSCAR I’m not okay! SUSIE That might have been too many rocks. ROCK Ah! OSCAR Whoa! SUSIE Ugh! OSCAR Hi Susie. Whoa! OSCAR Come on come on. Badges, you’re our only hope! ROCKS Ah! OSCAR We’re toast! Guys run run run run! HEDGEHOG Oscar! OSCAR Hedgehog! SUSIE Oscar! Hedgehog! Bored now. PEPPER Wait. They’re stopping. OSCAR Oh man. That’s great news. SUSIE You risked your life and your badges to try to save your friends? Ha! I win! I win! OSCAR Fine Susie, you win. Just like always. HEDGEHOG Oscar look at all these badges! OSCAR Are they for failure? HEDGEHOG CAMPERS No, they’re for bravery! There must be at least 100 badges here! OSCAR 100 badges?! That’s two trips to the chocolate money fountain! Pay up Susie. SUSIE Okay - you got me. Two trips to the chocolate money fountain coming right up. BETSY Stop! You know what the real 100 badge reward is. SUSIE Camp counselor for a day? You know sometimes I really hate you Betsy. OSCAR Lights out! Lights out whenever you want! Then come over to my house for a pajama party! It’s a party for pajamas! PAJAMAS Not you, Susie. SUSIE That was implied.