BERNARD COURTNEY CRAIG ELDER_CHEF END_TITLE_SONG JESSICA JP KELSEY KID_42 MORTIMOR NICOLE SINGER SUSAN TABITHA TIEN WIND CRAIG just through this bush and around that bottomless pit, and i’ll be back at the stump. good thing i got my map, so i can never get lost. CRAIG oh no my map! i’m gonna get lost! CRAIG agh! CRAIG phew. you, my good friend, are going back in the purse. huh? CRAIG “don’t… say… clonque.” hm. CRAIG clooonnque. hmm… clonque… heh… cloooonque… what a weird word. KELSEY come on, mortimor, you can do it. what’s your name? MORTIMOR JP y’know, if we just changed his name to those sounds, he’d be… he’d be pretty much— KELSEY shh. you can do it. just take your time. your name is… MORTIMOR m… mor… morti… mortimo— CRAIG aaahh! CRAIG huh, i thought i fixed that. KELSEY craig! KELSEY mortimor, what’s your name?! MORTIMOR KELSEY aww, man. CRAIG hey, you guys ever heard of the word “clonque?” KELSEY w-what did you say? CRAIG yeah, so, check this… i was taking a long shortcut, right? but then my map flew right out of my hands! so i ran to catch it and thankfully it landed on a tree! but then i saw the tree and it had some words carved on it. it said “don’t say clonque!” what a weird thing to write! heh. clonque. clon- que. clonq-way… CRAIG w-what is that? what are you guys doing? KELSEY it’s… it’s the cleansing dance! everyone knows you gotta do a cleansing dance after saying a cursed word! CRAIG did i say a curse word? don’t tell my mom! KELSEY no. a curse-ed word! a cursed word! the word on the tree! the c-c-c word! JP okay, let’s all just keep calm. how many times did you say it, craig? CRAIG well, uh… i said clonque when i read the tree that said “do not say clonque.” then i said clonque a couple more times because it’s such a weird word, right? clonque? and then i said clonque to you two. KELSEY save yourself, mortimor! CRAIG oh, duh! and i said clonque a bunch of times just now, so… KELSEY for the love of scriggith, craig! stop saying that word! JP it’s too late! you’ve probably already released… the curse. it’s been nice knowing you, craig! i’m gonna go wash my ears out with soap and water just to be safe! CRAIG wait, i don’t get it. the word is cursed? KELSEY yes. and anyone who says it will get… you know. CRAIG clonqued? KELSEY dangit, craig! CRAIG what does that mean? what happens? KELSEY well, nobody knows what happens, but we don’t say it because we don’t want to find out! CRAIG okay, so lemme get this straight… you’re afraid to say a word, but you don’t know why. and you’ve never seen anything bad happen to anyone who said it? KELSEY yeah, exactly. JP makes perfect sense to me. CRAIG this is ridiculous. JP ooh, i like the rebrand, tien! TIEN thanks, the king’s kitchen is no more! we serve every taste bud in the creek. now, let me tell you about our specials… today we have turon, brick toast bites ala dip-a-moo icing, dino nugget dumplings, and my favorite, shrimp chips with beefer dust. all of our chips are locally sourced, from bag to table. KELSEY wow, all that sounds so good. um… but i think i’m going to go with the dry ramen squares with the flavor packets on the side. TIEN excellent choice! and for the gentlekid? JP i’ll have a creek boba with extra marshmallows. TIEN great! and for you, craig? CRAIG uh, yes… i would like a deconstructed chocoroll with blackberry jam. TIEN will that be for the table? um… uh, tables? KELSEY ah no, we shan’t be sharing today. JP yes, we are trying to keep our snack curse- free, thank you very much. CRAIG guys, i told you i’m not cursed! KELSEY we aren’t gonna risk it, craig! not before we eat! CRAIG excuse me, tien. one more thing… do you have any clonque? TIEN ahh… heh… we don’t have that in stock. KELSEY don’t do this, craig. CRAIG you see, i’m just really craving some clonque. ohh! is that some clonque over there? CRAIG nope. no clonque in here. CRAIG is that freshly baked clonque? SUSAN CRAIG hmm… this soup could use some more clonque. KELSEY craig! stop it! what’re you trying to do!? CRAIG trying to show you that this clonque stuff is made up! i can say clonque all day, and nothing will happen to me! clonque! clonque! clo—! ELDER CHEF craiiigg… ELDER CHEF don’t! joke! about things you don’t understand! or you will get your just desserts! CRAIG wha?! TIEN c’mon, elder chef, it’s time for a nap. CRAIG you will get your just desserts... what the clonque does that even mean? KID 42 clonque clonque!! CRAIG ahh! CRAIG what did you say? KID 42 i said honk honk! get outta the way, man! CRAIG i mean, it’s just a word. i mean, nothing bad is going to happen to me if i clonque. CRAIG what the? WIND clonqueeeeeee… CRAIG huh? WIND clonque! NICOLE okay, what’s the pick for movie night, kids? JESSICA the small uncle movie! BERNARD no, no way. you watch that movie all the time. JESSICA but you haven’t seen it. BERNARD yes, i have. at the last 8 movie nights. JESSICA this time i’m gonna do the voices. JESSICA “once upon an uncle…” NICOLE maybe bernard’s right, hon. why don’t we watch a different clonque? BERNARD yeah, look at all these movies they just added: clonque and furious, clonque story 4, clonquezilla. NICOLE ooh, waiting to clonque! now that’s a classic! might be a little old for you clonques. CRAIG wait, what?! uh… are… are you guys saying clonque?! NICOLE didn’t we warn you? BERNARD you will get your just desserts. JESSICA clonque him. CRAIG i don’t even know what that means!!! CRAIG i need help… paranormal help. end scene COURTNEY ugh… i keep finding david’s earrings in the fruit buckets. TABITHA well, that’s what you get for letting him wear magnetic piercings to work. COURTNEY ew, tabi! TABITHA relax, it’s just a little sticky. CRAIG witches! i need your help! witchessssss! COURTNEY dude, use the other door. CRAIG oh. CRAIG i come seeking your guidance! i’ve done something bad! i messed with forces i don’t understand! they told me not to say it but i did! i said it again and again and again and again and again!!! COURTNEY said what? CRAIG i said a… cursed word! COURTNEY what’s the big deal? i say them all the time. TABITHA which one we talkin’ about? CRAIG i… i don’t even want to say it. COURTNEY okay, then why don’t you spell it? CRAIG uh, okay… c… l… o-n-q-u-e! TABITHA clonque? COURTNEY oh that? that… wow! that takes me back! relax, “clonque” is no cursed word. CRAIG huh? TABITHA ages ago, when we were still in witch middle school, there was a summer jam that was so contagious, it spread across the world! melting the minds of any mortals who heard its malevolent melody! CRAIG huh? COURTNEY it’s a song that got real big a long time ago… SINGER baby you’re my everything the reason i was born to sing and when you shut the door on me it made a clonque SINGER when it was goin’ down i took a look around everyone in town heard the sound i hit rock bottom with a clonque rock bottom with a clonque rock bottom with a clonque with a clonque clonque clonque with a clonque TABITHA i can’t believe we both know that. SINGER i hit rock bottom with a clonque rock bottom with a clonque rock bottom with a clonque with a clonque clonque clonque with a clonque COURTNEY anyway, they played it everywhere and it got like totally annoying. TABITHA yeah, after that summer nobody wanted to ever hear the word clonque ever again. CRAIG wow, it was just an annoying song. i gotta tell everyone! thanks, witches! COURTNEY how do i still remember this? TABITHA ugh, maybe it is cursed. CRAIG hear ye! hear ye! fellow kidizens of the creek! thank you for coming! i come bearing good tidings! KELSEY craig? what are you doing? JP yeah, and why are you talking like an 18th century poet with the exception of the word tidings, which is procounced tidings? CRAIG uhhh… i did not know that. anyway… i have something important to share! there’s no reason to be afraid! this cursed word isn’t a cursed word at all! KELSEY oh no. TIEN ahh! someone stop him before he curses us all! CRAIG just watch! JP ahhhh! SINGER i hit rock bottom with a clonque rock bottom with a clonque rock bottom with a clonque with a clonque clonque clonque with a clonque CRAIG look familiar? it’s the cleansing dance. TIEN what the…? SINGER i hit rock bottom with a clonque rock bottom with a clonque rock bottom with a clonque with a clonque clonque clonque with a clonque JP i kinda like this! ELDER CHEF kids these days, oooh! CRAIG see? it’s just a song! i… i don’t get it. i… i think it’s like sad or something… SINGER i hit rock bottom i hit rock bottom with a clonque let me in let me in it’s raining it’s pouring outside in my heart whooooooooooo i hit rock bottom with a clonque rock bottom with a clonque rock bottom with a clonque with a clonque clonque clonque with a clonque CRAIG this song got played everywhere and everybody got sick of it, but nobody got hurt, so we can stop living in fear. CRAIG now, all together! just throw your worries aside and say it with me! clooooonque—oof! KID 42 kid shouldn’t have said clonque. END TITLE SONG baby don’t you know i hit rock bottom with a clonque don’t you know i hit rock bottom don’t you know i hit rock bottom with a clonque with a clonque with a clonque with a clonque [Type text]0[Type text]0[Type text]