ALGERNON_SIDNEY ANARCHIST BARBARA_VILLIERS CATHERINE_OF_BRAGANZA CHARLES_II CROWD DE_WITT DUTCH_AUTHORITY EDMUND_LUDLOW EDWARD_HYDE ELIZABETH_LUDLOW GEORGE_DOWNING GUARD HENRY_VANE HUCKSTER ISABELLE_HACKER JAMES JARED_HARRIS JOHN_REARDON LORD LOUIS_XIV MAGISTRATE MAN PEASANT POST_OFFICE_WORKER PRIEST PRISONER SOLDIER THOMAS_HARRISON WILLIAM_PRYNNE WOMAN EDMUND LUDLOW I�ll give you Jesus�s fucking finger. There�s a special circle of hell reserved for creatures like you. Begone huckster, or I�ll have your death to atone for along with all the rest. It�s not nearly enough for an invasion. We need professional soldiers. I know how good his army is, I fucking trained it. We need twice as many men. What? Fucking Louis? He�s the one man in Europe you hate more than Charles Stuart. LOUIS XIV But I�m not a man, I�m a God. But what�s wrong with the way things have always been? Somewhat na�ve to think that your wholly untested idea would work better, don�t you think? EDWARD HYDE This obsession with hunting these men is playing right into Louis�s hands, he intends to become King of all Europe. Oh I expect he�ll keep you on the throne but you�ll be neutered. Swallow your pride and sign de Witt�s deal. It�s a good� compromise. JAMES, DUKE OF YORK Long live the king. Did you ever think it wouldn�t happen, that we wouldn�t go back to England? Liar. I know you too well. Yeah but parliament invited you. Well to God, and to King Charles. You�re going to kill seven people? What about the rest of them? Make them fucking Dukes? Oh it�s got to you. One whiff of power and you�re here like a rat. Declaration of Breda, more like the declaration of fucking Barbara! You might have him fooled but not me. You know the bastard regicides are walking round free men. Everyone knows who they are apart from you, apparently. What�s happened to you Charles? The people don�t fear you, they pity you. Everyone says the same thing, Charlie�s cunt-struck. Whores and naves the lot of them. They�ll chop your balls off. CHARLES II Downing�s a big fan of yours really, so you must be a terrible bastard. Cromwell was not kind to you Catholics. Good man. What does the de Witt want? Can they talk of nothing but trade, it�s incredibly dull. Mmm. No you did it because you want to guarantee a monopoly on the slave trade.Good man. I wonder, how would you feel about murdering the head of his army?No, never. Oh you don�t know me at all. I always knew I�d come back. Parliament didn�t invite me James. God did. The one true Christian God who ordained me as his representative on earth. Is it not still a damp shithole filled with hypocrites? Even a king? Even the cunts who killed my father? And a king can kill as many people as he so fucking wishes. Seven. Seven. This book�s caused me enough trouble don�t you think Prynne? You�re welcome, it seems I should never have left. Now remind me which of you cunts killed my father? Was it you? Hmm? Was it you? Was it you? I can forgive almost anybody, except my horse who threw me off yesterday, I�m going to have that fucker killed and then I�m going to fucking eat him. It�s politics James, even if I explained you wouldn�t get it. I want their heads on spikes as much as you do brother. All right mate?Good day. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Where�s my fucking list Prynne? Dithering little prick! Find me the seven most guilty. You�ll find compared with me my father was a fucking pussycat. At least he left you with a face. Hmm? Sort of. Murdering bastards. I want them all Hyde. I want them all. You might as well tell me to stop taking this shit Hyde. My dear Hyde you never regret the ones you kill. The ones that you don�t kill that keep you up at night. What I�d give to have Cromwell alive, I�ll rip his fucking face open. I�ll press my thumbs into his eyes and I�ll scrape out the jelly so the last thing he ever saw was me. Shall I? Do you think the people you�re protecting give a fuck about you? Fellow man. That�s your fellow man over there. Cruel, venal, self serving. He�d kill his own brother if he thought he could get away with it. Your fellow man�s an animal White. We all are. Me, you, and bastard regicides. It�s hunt or be hunted I�m afraid. It�s kill or be killed. Just give me a fucking name. Fuck you. What�s your name? How well you know me Hyde. How many do you suggest? Yeah, fine, four. How underhand. My father said that? Oh. Where�s that bastard Ludlow? You must have an idea. Algernon Sydney, not a regicide. Hmm. He will know I�ve... Hyde. That�s quite enough of that shit. Fucking roasting under all this. Oh. Oh come on Hyde just say it, come on, it�ll make you feel you feel so much better, he�s a cu� Nor am I in case it passed you by. And have any of these cretins managed to even locate Ludlow? No. No they haven�t have they? Hmm. Your friends are running around Europe like rats. They�re breeding. You fought me tooth and nail didn�t you? A man after my own heart, unlike Algernon Sydne You see Hyde? Set a cunt to catch a cunty. No. But I�m certain the little prick knows where Ludlow is. And if he won�t? Rather than ridding me of my enemies you�re spawning new ones. Where is he now? He�s gone. Fucking gone to find Edward Ludlow and I bet you he does. Don�t return until you have him. I am the king, Downing, they�re the fucking murderers. Just bring me someone I can execute. Hmm. Or we�ll have to make do with yours won�t we? Parliament expect me to live on a fucking pittance. Shouldn�t even be money. Everything should just be mine in the first place. No he wouldn�t would he? Imagine what Louis would do to them? He�d fuck them up. Isn�t she meant to be dull? It�s hard to tell. Well does she speak English? I don�t really think I�m the marrying type. Hasn�t he finally left you? A rich, unsuitable princess who barely speaks English, sounds like my mother. Oh great, she�s ten years old. Parliament won�t like it. Yeah. Fuck parliament. We�re a little bit busy Hyde. What do they want? Well then burn it. Toss it in the Thames. Take it to bed and make love to it if you feel inclined. If you can�t solve any of my problems then what the hell�s the point of you Hyde? Yeah, what hypocrites you Dutch are. I thought you believed in liberty? The more a shit�s stirred the more it stinks, I don�t give a shit what you think. Oh really? I won�t have de Fuckwitt cosying up to my enemies. I want to hit them where it hurst. Their country is puny. Well we beat them last time. That was what? How? English ports for English boats. Well it has a ring to it. I like it James. Fucking love it! A conversation with you and who wouldn�t be? As it happens, I did not, but you confronting me in this appealing way makes me think that I should have. Now look what you�ve done Hyde, you�ve upset her. Where�s the fucking money your father promised me? If you don�t understand English then I�ll give you a bloody lesson. Louis doesn�t want to rule this shitty backwater, he has too much taste. I won�t have de Witt fuck me. That�s insulting. If you swallow someone�s shit then they�ll keep serving it to you, and that my dear Hyde means war. We will rebuild London even better than it was! Oh dear. You�re stubborn. I am too. See? We have more in common than you think. We find it hard to trust. Can I tell you a little secret? I�ve never trusted anyone in my life. Have you? Oh. Right, come here. Come. I will protect you, as he did, if you just give me the sign, hmm? Good my child. Eat. I�ve been asking myself since when did Barbara become so bad at cards? It�s very perplexing. And then I realised, she�s doing it deliberately to make me pay her debts, so that I don�t forget about her. Well this time I�ve had to sell a palace. I won�t do it again. No I fucking won�t! Well they�ve never been less popular with me. Well I certainly have. Cousin Louis�s offering me money. If I do, I won�t have to listen to parliament ever again, which m Uh huh. You�re urging people to revolt against their tyrant. eans I�ll never have to listen to you, Hyde. You�ve been trying to kill me. We invent an idol and dance around it, though it is stained with the blood of innocent men. Do I take it that I�m the idol? What would you have me do? It�s always worth meeting a condemned man, I enjoy the execution so much more. ELIZABETH LUDLOW The bloody French? They�re blaming them for starting the fire and you�re about to lead a French army into London?This isn�t a popular uprising, it�s a fucking war, bankrolled by Louis�s cash, it�ll make the last one look like a parlour game. I mean how many more thousands are going to die? OK say you invade, say by some bloody miracle you defeat the army you created in your own stubborn image. What�s your plan? Was Cromwell better than the king that came before him? ALGERNON SIDNEY Anything is better than what�s come before. As many as it takes! That�s what revolution looks like. JARED HARRIS For idealists like Ludlow, Cromwell was a military dictator little better than the king he replaced. Without popular support any invasion would just be replacing one dictator for another. EDMUND LUDLOW I won�t be your Cromwell, Sidney, you�re a hot head. I know soldiers like you, I never put them in charge. LOUIS XIV My advisors tell me that you are the most confident young man in Europe. ALGERNON SIDNEY I�m older than you. Cousin to the king we seek to overthrow. CROWD Yeah! God save the king! God save the king! MAN God save the king! GEORGE DOWNING He�s not particularly fond of protestants. JOHN REARDON Normally I won�t allow mention of that murdering bastard. Why that�d be my absolute fucking pleasure. JAMES If you can�t fight them stop them from trading. We bar their ships from our ports. JOHN REARDON Lisle! In the name of the king. EDMUND LUDLOW Been too long since I shot an Irishman. JOHN REARDON English bastard! CATHERINE OF BRAGANZA I don�t understand. My master is God. My husband is the devil! PRIEST Who is your master? Your husband is your God. EDMUND LUDLOW It�s twice as many sailors as soldiers, they don�t care about an invasion, only trade. ALGERNON SIDNEY 10,000 troops. EDWARD HYDE England�s not the country you remember, your majesty. There�s a popular belief that� all men are created equal. I�m afraid so. Especially them. You must banish all memories of your father. Show them that a king can be moderate, that a king can exist within a republic. Seven people. Seven. The men are dying too well, we�re making martyrs of them. The art of battle is knowing when to stop. You will regret it if you don�t. You�ll process through the Triumphal Arches, thus. You are the emperor Augustus, bringing peace and stability. Five days of celebration, do you realise what that will cost? One. It�s customary. Using Cromwell�s spies is one thing, but this man is a� He�s not a respecter of form and order. I have men I trust. Why should we trust a man with no friends? 20,000 people are marching to meet the funeral procession. Okey�s body. Had another day of rioting in the streets. You�ve never been less popular with the people. I fear they�ve had enough. What have you done? How kind of him. If you take it, there�s no turning back. How many opportunities have you had to renounce your critical words and save yourself Henry? Then I fear you will not live much longer. Goodbye Henry. WILLIAM PRYNNE Out of my way! In anticipation of the King�s god ordained return. I am taking the names of the regicides who killed his father. You know who you are. Welcome your majesty. Oh you majesty how we�ve missed you. We could have done with a few of your jokes these past years. I�m looking for your husband. I hear you�ve been sticking your nose into political affairs. If you were my wife I�d have no choice but to punish you. But I never had a wife, good or bad. Or a priest hole. Parliament�s already agreed to execute seven men for regicide. It�s not nearly enough. I have three times as many names. It is a matter of time. One way or another your husband will be on the list, sweet lady. Your majesty. With the right evidence, we can kill far more than seven men, but we do need evidence. Not now. Not now. What is it my dear? Thomas Hacker. Oh my dear lady, it�s addressed to your husband. He�s guilty as fucking judas. I�m going to ferret out every one of your dirty little secrets. Once I�m done with you we�ll be the best of friends. It will take more than pamphlets to stop him. I shall always treasure this. Worse, I fear. These are treasonous. The innocent virgin act won�t work on me, although it is rather becoming. You won�t tell us where he is, we�ll go looking ourselves. GEORGE DOWNING He killed one man, the other fled, he�s gone. There is the matter of funds. Kidnapping operations are complex. It would be cheaper if we simplified the operation, sort it all out on the continent, save on extradition costs. You shall taste regicide blood before the year is out. Your majesty. Very well. An assurance then will suffice that you won�t intervene. A trade deal, a trade deal so attractive you�ll want to take it to bed and fuck it. Vane has a maddening habit of saying precisely the wrong thing. Where�s Edmund Ludlow? No? I rather thought it was. And Englishman belongs at home, not in this papist hell hole! It�s not 1660 anymore Algernon, the king�s not just coming after his father�s enemies, but his own. DE WITT Congratulations on your marriage. When we handed over your father�s enemies, you think we did that just because you�re a great guy?Among other things.We put you here because we thought we could work with you. If not, we�ll find someone who will.Your enemies are running round Europe, everyone�s laughing at you.Yeah. They do. No one fears you like Cromwell.Invade? And it will be another decade of civil war, and England must be sick of it. You are so courtable Algernon, and you always bring the most delicious wine. That is out of the question. Because we didn�t hand them over in the first place. EDMUND LUDLOW Brother Prynne, how long has it been? Remind me what the letters stand for, stupid layabout? He returns at the pleasure of parliament. I am taking the names of the regicides who killed his father. And I will never apologise for it. Charles Stuart needs independent minded men like me to curb his worst excesses, not weak minded feminine men who flee at the first sign of trouble. Fuck Charles Stuart. BARBARA VILLIERS Oh in London we�re so over heads on spikes No one lost more than I did. Well so did I. Charles knows of my ambition, I�ve made no secret of them. They�re the cream of London society. Your willing servants eager to do your bidding. Oh they�ll do more than that. This is Rebellion, Satan�s eldest daughter and this is Chaos. Hmm. Four. Final offer. That is so humiliating. You know, Louis wouldn�t put up with it. But even Louis relies on taxes, not like the Spanish royals or Portuguese. Catherine of Braganza for example. She is eligible. You�re not marrying her for her looks. She comes with Tangier, and Bombay in India, and two million crowns. Marriage doesn�t have to be a big deal. Look at me and Roger. Nothing worse than having no money, and only people who grew up without it like we did understand that. The richer and more unsuitable the better. Now there�s one tiny, tiny drawback. She�s Catholic. But name me an eligible princess who isn�t? Fuck parliament. Maybe Hyde�s your biggest problem. You will. You destroy everyone who comes close to you. You have finally destroyed her CATHERINE OF BRAGANZA My father.I accept my king as my master. Thank you. ALGERNON SYDNEY For criticising the king? Thank you. My father. Yeah, well, Henry Vane does not share your way with words, or perhaps it is your lack of principle. Well, always fun talking with you George. If there�s one bastard tough enough to topple Charles Stuart, it�s you. And I rather thought it was yours George. It�s not my job to know that. You�re not dressed for Italy, George. But Vane did not sign Charles�s death warrant, he�s maddingly non violent. Liar. Show me your proof.This is your proof? My words? Is that how you see yourself? And my comrade�s blood shall stain your soul for eternity. Oh it�s far, far too late for you Charles Stuart.My only regret is that I didn�t have a chance to sign your father�s death warrant.This age makes speaking the truth an act of treason though everyone would rather shut their ears than hear it. My trial and condemnation is living proof of it. Civil war may be a disease of the state, but tyranny is its death. I�ve brought you general Ludlow, he could not be more serious about overthrowing Charles.You must first condemn handing over his fellow men. There�s only one man in Europe that can give you that. Why?OK maybe he didn�t personally put them on a ship but he knew what Downing was up to, he could have stopped it. Once back in England, we�ll rally more people. POST OFFICE WORKER The machine re-seals it and the letter arrives on time, it�s undetectable. Your predecessor told me you can�t be a great statesman unless you open people�s letters. I mean, Cromwell. There are so many theories it�s impossible to know. No, but a republican He�ll know you�ve. LORD Shit licker. JAMES, DUKE OF YORK Your greatest danger isn�t the regicides and tired old men like Hyde, it�s the pretenders and sycophants, when any one of them could have had a hand in father�s murder. I lost my father. ELIZABETH LUDLOW Edmund. Edmund will you listen to me? You lost your command Edmund. They stripped you of your seat. You think they won�t find a way to destroy you? It is up to parliament to decide which men to indict. Even if your name�s not on the list, do you think William Prynne will settle for killing only seven men? You signed the death warrant. Well make sure anyone who still has a copy has the sense to destroy it. Every idea you have had in your life has you at the heart of it, right until they execute you. And then you�ll be no use to anyone. Well let me know when you find him, I�ve hardly seen him. You are mistaken, politics is no sphere for a wife. It is a perpetual source of shame to my sex that you did not. Rats, we�re overrun with them. Edmund�s many things but he�s neither a catholic nor a priest. You have found the warrant? Up and down this land people are being hunted because when they were young they thought they�d make a name for themselves. The world turns, it will turn again. Keep your powder dry �til it does. Today I saw Henry Vane executed at Tower Hill. Charles is as bad as any tyrant in Europe. You have helped him every step of the way. If I knew where he was, which I don�t, I wouldn�t tell you. Get out! Come. Seen anything you like? In my drawers? DUTCH AUTHORITY You have come to the head of Holland for an export permit. Well for these kind of black market goods you do not require a permit. And in return HENRY VANE I lose count. What is it you seek? I want to be free, to live in a country where I can criticise my king. I have been unjustly tried, and I am answerable only to God. THOMAS HARRISON For he shall reign!According to the word of Christ, according, according as it is written. Yes, I killed the king! Hah, but anyone who comes for me will have the lord Jesus Christ to contend with. He takes no fucking prisoners. Wait on the lord, be of good courage and he shall strengthen thy soul. Wait on the lord. What took you so long gentlemen? Sat in judgement? I pressed for his trial, I took personal charge in getting him there. I attended every fucking session. If you�ve got a list, I�m top of it. No brother, no, no it is you who will receive no mercy. SOLDIER Thomas Harrison. We believe you sat in judgement on King Charles. Do you deny it? Expect no mercy. Bastard regicide. Where are you Edmund? WOMAN My lord. There�s something you should see. Within my husband�s desk. ISABELLE HACKER His name is not listed. This proves he cannot be your regicide. THOMAS HARRISON I demand to know the indictment! Oh you think that were a demon. Oh just wait for what�s coming. However many of us you kill, the idea we die for will rise again and again, until the return of the one true king, Jesus Christ! This is a day of joy for my soul! MAGISTRATE That instigated by the demon you summoned take away the life of Charles Stuart the late King of England. PEASANT Yeah kill the regicide bastard! Yeah hang him! Liar, liar! GEORGE DOWNING Your majesty you are mistaken. I have no friends.It�s really very simple. You need to avenge yourself on your father�s enemies, I need to demonstrate my loyalty to you, given my past associations.I did it because it was expedient and profitable, just as I come to you now in the expectation of financial gain. Sydney? He�s not a regicide. Then he must tell us. Then others must understand that to conceal a regicide is tantamount to being one. I don�t plan to be here long. I find the English climate more agreeable.I find the king really quite accommodating, if you say the right thing. PRISONER Trust in your fellow men, it�s the bedrock of a just society. Without it what do we have? Edmund Ludlow. ANARCHIST Open up in the name of King Jesus! Do him! HUCKSTER Jesus finger. Very sacred. Excellent price. I will give you Jesus finger, and you won�t even have to pay. MAN And yet he�s in prison. That�s what you want your country to be Algernon? And what it really is GUARD Oi! Give me those. WOMAN Welcome to our English court. EDWARD HYDE To discuss the trade concessions you promised last year. We simply don�t have enough ships for a battle. Their navy is large, if we take them on we risk losing our fleet. That was. A different time. The queen is profoundly upset. You appointed Lady Villiers first lady of the bedchamber without telling me. What were you thinking? You would have been better off putting a whore in the queen�s bedchamber than Barbara Villiers.