APPLE APPLE_ONION APPLE_SONG CHOCOLATE_CHIP_COOKIE DUMPLING GINGERBREAD GINGER_BREAD HOAGIE KEBAB ONION ONION_SONG SAMOSA SAMOSA Smash! Smash smash! APPLE Onion, look, it’s us! Haha! ONION Yes, you do that joke every time we go to the grocery store, Apple. APPLE Cause it’s funny, Onion. APPLE Oh I don’t understand good jokes because I’m Onion and I always have to play Sweetie Smash because I’m obsessed with it. ONION I’m not obsessed- hey. I’m not obsessed, it’s just a brilliant game. APPLE You’re so obsessed, man. Anyway, let’s start our grocery shopping. APPLE Ready? Onion! ONION O-Oh, yes, ready. APPLE SONG i am the shopping list reader. ONION SONG and i well get you everything you read. APPLE SONG first on the list is beans. ONION SONG here’s beans. APPLE SONG second on the list is toast for the beans. ONION SONG here’s the toast. APPLE SONG third is chili powder. ONION SONG chili powder. APPLE SONG fourth is some very nice cheese ONION SONG in the trolley. APPLE SONG and now we have everything we need for me to make us lunch. ONION SONG you to make us lunch. APPLE Hey this isn’t chili powder, it’s glitter! APPLE What’s this- tuna!? And lard!? You’ve been playing that game this whole time, haven’t you? ONION Yes yes, but I’m on level 44 now! APPLE You’re properly obsessed, man. ONION No I’m- No I’m not. APPLE Alright, let’s start again. Ready? Wait- sausages! ONION Apple, no! APPLE ONION Don’t you remember the last time you ate sausages? ONION If I didn’t stop you, who knows what would’ve happened… APPLE Okay okay… Start our groceries again! Ready? ONION Yes but now I need the toilet. APPLE Ugh! ONION The lock doesn’t work… Why didn’t they just fix the lock instead of making such an intricate sign!? You’ll have to stand guard. APPLE Alright I will guard you. Then we have to do our shopping song, okay. ONION Definitely okay. ONION I’ll just get out my phone to pass the time, it’s not a big deal. SAMOSA Smash!APPLE SONG waiting for onion is not very funion the lock is broken the door can’t open. cause then the people will see him doing his business. APPLE It’s occupied. HOAGIE Eh, I’ll just go in the alley. APPLE Onion! Come on. ONION Almost done! SAMOSA Hit! Mega smash! ONION Yes! Level 45! SAMOSA Level 45! You are one of the few people in the world who has made it this far! Get to level 50 and win the gaaame! ONION Oh my days! APPLE Sausages… ahhhhhhahaha. Maybe I can get a little closer just to smell the sausages better… APPLE Oh, how much- how much longer, Onion? ONION Just a few more levels -er- minutes! APPLE I’m just foing to have to go over APPLE Hello Yes one sausage to smell, quickly please CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE Okaaay APPLE and now i will only smell it in a dignified manner— can i have another one please? CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE Uh, no…It’s only one per customer I’m afraid APPLE SAMOSA Level 45 complete! ONION Yeaaaah! SAMOSA ohh no! it looks like your phone is out of space. ONION Whaat! SAMOSA delete stuff to continue playing. ONION Oh…I’ll just delete these silly photos of me and Apple. CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE Would you like to try a sausage madame? APPLE Oh I couldn’t! I just couldn’t! Maybe just one then! CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE Sausage sir? APPLE Is it organic? CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE No. APPLE Awesome CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE Sausage for ya, Guv’na? APPLE Can’t say no to a sneaky sausage, don’t tell the missus CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE Oh sir, I think your disguise is Wait a minute. APPLE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE I knew it! I told you it’s one per customer. You’re banned from getting any more sausages! APPLE APPLE Lucky people… APPLE And rat… CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE Hey!! Come back here! APPLE Haaa… CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE You need help! APPLE You need help… APPLE SAMOSA Smash! Smash! Level 46 complete! ONION Whoahohohohohohohey! SAMOSA Looks like your phone is out of space! Delete stuff to continue playing. ONION Hm…I’ll just get rid of everything else on my phone. Delete, delete, delete, delete that KEBAB Oh! My groceries, I’m so sorry for intruding! ONION KEBAB ONION Please shut the door! KEBAB So sorry! KEBAB Hello. ONION Yes hello to you as well, in a totally normal way so as not to acknowledge any previous moment where we were both embarrassed. KEBAB Yes of course, well—nice to meet you. ONION Apple! You were supposed to stand guard! Apple? ONION The sausages! HOAGIE Huh? Rat! APPLE help!! DUMPLING Huh? Wait right there, I’ll pull you out! APPLE No! I need a kick in. DUMPLING What? APPLE A kick in, please. DUMPLING Okay… APPLE harder! DUMPLING APPLE Thank yoooo— DUMPLING That was kinda fun. ONION Excuse me, have you seen my- Where is he. CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE I saw him chase a rat down the sewers. He needs help. ONION APPLE Come on rat, please, gimme the sausage! ONION Apple! Listen to me! Come out this instant, I insist! DUMPLING ONION Ahh! ONION Why did you kick me in!? DUMPLING This is who I am now. ONION APPLE Gimme that sausage! APPLE Aha! Ah! APPLE More sausages! ONION Apple! Apple? SAMOSA Level 47 is waiting! are you ready to be one of the best players in the world? Play now! ONION Wee! And I can rescue my friend also at the same time. Where are you, Apple? Heh, cool. APPLE ONION Hm? Heh, sweet. APPLE aaaahhhhhhh!!! GINGER BREAD What’s zis? Not a sausage, but an Apple… APPLE Are all these sausages yours, I love sausages, can I have one!? GINGER BREAD Yes, but it will cost you, your soul! APPLE Really? GINGERBREAD No, but with ze echos my voice sounds cool, Ya? APPLE Sounds alright. GINGERBREAD Bring him a chair! For you shall eat as many sausages…as your heart desires! APPLE Woooooooooww! ONION Well, I may have walked around in circles in real life, but in Sweetie Smash I’m on level 48! If I beat Level 50, then I'll be the world’s Sweetest Smasher! APPLE ONION Apple! I’m coming to save you in this conveniently placed thing! SAMOSA Smash! Smash! Smash! Smash! APPLE ONION I told you not to eat any sausages! APPLE Why wouldn’t I eat sausages!? ONION Let’s go! I’m saving you from yourself! APPLE I don’t need saving! I’ve never been happier! ONION apple!! APPLE APPLE ONION ONION APPLE ONION Stop it! APPLE ONION APPLE Get off me, man! Stop it, stop it! ONION Okay, let’s take a break. APPLE ONION Look at you, Apple! You’re turning into a monster! APPLE Would a monster laugh like this!? APPLE Okay, let me do that again. ONION You are! You’re absolutely obsessed with sausages, and you can’t even see it! APPLE You can talk! You can’t even put your game down for five minutes! You’re the one who’s obsessed! ONION No way is this the same as your sausage problem! You look like a gremlin! APPLE Onion, if I looked like a gremlin, I’d obviously Stop. But I don’t! ONION Yes you do! And I’ll prove it to you and save you from descending into complete gremlinhood, by taking a photo and then showing it to you, you little gremlin! After I finish this level. SAMOSA Smash! Smash! you have just reached level 50-the final level! you are about to be the first sweetest smasher ever! play now! ONION yeahhhh!! I’m about to complete this game! Oh yeah, now get ready to see what you’ve become, and be saved from the gremlinhood thing! APPLE ONION Not enough storage to take a picture, free up storage to take more pictures. ONION But the only other thing on my phone is Sweetie Smash, and I’m one level away from becoming the world’s Sweetest Smasher! APPLE SAMOSA Play now! ONION APPLE ONION Wait. Oh my days, what am I doing!? What have I become!? I just thought twice about saving my best friend’s life! I’m gonna delete Sweetie Smash! SAMOSA are you sure you want to delete sweetie smash? you’re on level 50! ONION I’m sure! ONION Deleted. Hey! You dropped one! APPLE ONION Now behold your gremlinhood! APPLE You were right about the gremlinhood. I became a sausage gremlin instead of an apple. ONION It’s okay, Apple. You just have to stop with the sausages. APPLE Okay. ONION Did you know I nearly became the world’s Sweetest Smasher? By the way, what was all that sausage furniture and chandeliers and stuff? Really, really weird. GINGERBREAD It is weird, isn’t it? APPLE Ready? ONION Ready. APPLE SONG i am the shopping list reader ONION SONG and i will get you everything you read APPLE SONG first on the list is beans ONION SONG here’s beans APPLE SONG second on the list is toast for the beans. ONION SONG here’s the toast APPLE SONG third is chili powder ONION SONG chili powder APPLE SONG fourth is some very nice cheese ONION SONG in the trolley! APPLE SONG and now all i need from you is a pack of sausages. APPLE Joking. APPLE Hello I’m Onion, and I don’t understand good jokes. It’s okay, Onion. I’ll teach you so you could have a good sense of humor, like me! Oh thanks, I’ve always quite wanted a sense of humor, actually.