APPLE APPLE_ONION APPLE_ONION_SONG APPLE_SONG CANDY_COOKIE CHURRO DUMPLING HOAGIE HOT_TEA KABOB ONION ONION_SONG PANCAKE PATTY PATTYSONG PATTY_APPLE_SONG PATTY_SONG POPSICLE_SONG SUSHI TURKEY_LEG WALLA PATTY SONG oh when i leave da dolla store i give onion da clip board. APPLE ONION SONG oh when she leave da dolla store she give onion da clip board. ONION SONG oh and the clipboard mean me the chief . PATTY APPLE SONG he da chief. ONION SONG and the clipboard mean me the chiee-ee- ee-eeef . PATTY APPLE SONG ... chiee-ee-ee-eeef . PATTY Goodbye! APPLE SONG me kneel. ONION SONG me chief. APPLE SONG me waiting for some ‘struction ONION SONG me give. APPLE SONG me do. POPSICLE SONG me buy this nice contraption. APPLE SONG all day. ONION SONG we work. APPLE ONION SONG we make many transaction. finally now we are ready for the return of paa-aa-aa-tty. PATTY SONG when i return da dolla store, i check da cash regis-ter APPLE ONION SONG when she return da dolla store, she check the cash regis-ter PATTY SONG and if i find a hundred dollar. APPLE ONION SONG dollar! PATTY SONG i give onion the good chief star sti- ee- ee-cker. ONION Another successful day at the dollar store. And another good chief star sticker. APPLE PATTY Good night. APPLE ONION Good night. APPLE ONION Good morning. PATTY Good morning. ONION Dollar store speaking. Patty, it’s for you. PATTY Who could be calling me at such a morning hour? ONION I don’t know. But I do know that it’s time for the first of my two daily toilet breaks. PATTY Who’s speaking... My goodness- what a big problem! O-of course! I’ll be right there! APPLE Who was that? PATTY None of your business!! Now I’ve got to go, so, as per every-time, Onion is in charge. You know the custom. Make money, get sticker. And so, I give thee Onion once again... The clipboard of chiefdom APPLE He’s in the toilet, remember? But once he’s out I will follow him to the ends of the earth. PATTY Rise up off your knee little one. Now hold out your hand. APPLE Why? PATTY Because, for the very first time... I give thee Apple – the The clipboard of chiefdom APPLE PATTY Yes, the time has come for you to win the Good Chief Star Sticker. And you will shine, shine, shine, shine, shine... APPLE No, I can’t do it! The goat will shoot me down! PATTY What are you chatting about? APPLE The goat from my imagination! PATTY But that’s your strength, Apple. With imagination... Ha! you can do anything! APPLE ok PATTY Now I got to attend to my “emergency”. ONION Toilet break number one complete! APPLE Well done. Now you have one toilet break left. ONION What’s going on? APPLE Patty made me Chief today! ONION What? Really? APPLE What d’you mean really? What’s wrong? Do you not think I’m ready? She said I could do it with my imagination! Uhhh.. ONION W-w-wait wait wait no no no, don’t panic. Look, I think you are ready. APPLE ONION And now it’s time for me …to follow you to the ends of the earth, my friend. APPLE Oh usually I go down on one knee when I say that. And your hands have to go up like this as well. A bit higher… ok you can say it again now. ONION I will follow you to the ends of the earth, my friend. APPLE yea- yeah s-good. Testing, testing. ONION One, two, three. APPLE $100 is the aim. A Good Chief Star Sticker is the prize. What about the way Onion..? What’s the way? ONION Do what we normally do? APPLE No, the way is... The pusterience! ONION The what? APPLE Pusterience. Perfect Customer Experience... I’ll explain as we go along. Phase one of the Pusterience: The Welcome! If we give the customer a magical welcome, they will feel good and buy everything! ONION Um… But we usually just let people buy what they want. APPLE Yeah, but we're gonna try this today. ONION Ok. Sorry. Yeah yeah. Let’s try this. SUSHI Hello? Is this place open? APPLE Ok, get ready Onion. ONION Welc- Welcome Customer! APPLE Wait, call her Madame, no... Miss lady. ONION Mad... no, Miss lady. APPLE Now leap in a magical way. ONION Nargh! SUSHI APPLE Not towards her! That’s scary! ONION Do not be afraid. APPLE I didn’t tell you to say that! Raise your eyebrows…Too high! ONION Apple I can’t concentrate- APPLE Don’t hunch your shoulders, you’re meant to be an elf, not a Goblin. ONION I’m not a Goblin! Ruined?! You’re in my brain!! Controlling! Controlling! SUSHI ONION What are you doing? APPLE I’m giving you strike one. ONION What?! APPLE Look, don’t worry, this time just listen to the instructions and you’ll be fine. Phase two of the Pusterience: The Browse. This is a long sentence- While the customer is browsing, I’m going to tell you what they are holding, and you’re going to play suitable music on a suitable instrument, so that the customer falls in love and buys the object. ONION But we usually just leave them to choose on their own. APPLE Yeah I know what we usually do. But we’re gonna try something different, alright? ONION Alright. CHURRO APPLE He’s picking up a beach ball. Play the Kazoo! ONION Wouldn’t steel drums be better? APPLE No, Kazoo! ONION APPLE CHURRO APPLE Scented candle. Spanish guitar. ONION Finally, a good choice. APPLE No, not like that. Try it like this - Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun... ONION It’s not working! APPLE Because you’re not doing it right!! Like this - Dun, dun, dun, dun! CHURRO Argh! APPLE Why did you do that? You’re gonna stop me from getting a Good Chief Star Sticker! Strike two! And Onion, you do not want to know what happens when you reach strike two. ONION nnnggg ! APPLE Phase three of the Pusterience: The Purchase! You know these little chewy waffles that no one ever buys? ONION Yes. APPLE We’re going to entice people to buy them with the smell of freshly cooked waffles, which you’re gonna cook in the back. ONION OK look, this just isn’t a good idea. APPLE What did you say?! CANDY COOKIE Just this please. APPLE Are you sure you don’t want anything else? CANDY COOKIE No, just this please. APPLE Onion, the smell’s not reaching... start fanning! So now what else do you want to buy? CANDY COOKIE Just. This. Please. APPLE You’re not fanning strongly enough! ONION Ahh! I’m fanning as hard as is onionly possible. APPLE I know! Add some vanilla powder. ONION No wait! I’ve got it! I've got a brilliant idea!!! APPLE Just do what I say! I’m the chief! ONION nngg! CANDY COOKIE APPLE Garlic powder! Are you doing this on purpose? ONION On purpose? How can you say that Apple!? APPLE For this third and unforgivable insult, I, Apple, convict you, Onion of strike number thr- ONION I give myself the Strike. It is I who gives it! And now that I have three strikes, I’m gonna go on strike! Good Bye! APPLE ONION Oh and by the way... The Pusterience?! Is both rubbish and Confusing as a name. APPLE Hello? PATTY So, how’s everything going little chief. APPLE I have great ideas. And I’m not only going to make $100... I’m going to make $200! PATTY Oh! Well, if you do that, I will have to award you two Good ‘ Chief Star Stickers stickers stickers stickers.. APPLE And now The Pusterience, In all its glory! Ready? Ready. Heh heh heh. HOT TEA APPLE perfect! TURKEY LEG APPLE customer! HOAGIE APPLE experience! APPLE HOT TEA TURKEY LEG DUMPLING APPLE PANCAKE PANCAKE APPLE PANCAKE PANCAKE APPLE You were right. I’m too controlling and my ideas are rubbish... I'm sorry Onion... ONION Arrange all the candies by color! APPLE Yes, chief! ONION Take out the trash! APPLE Yes, chief! ONION Move those shelves to the furthest end of the dollar store! APPLE Anything you say, chief! Yeah! ONION The Pusterience?! Is both rubbish and Confusing as a name. APPLE ONION Look- Apple, it’s my fault too... I didn’t completely follow you to the ends of the earth like I said I would. KABOB ONION Hey, maybe there’s still a chance. Patty will be back soon but... I’m gonna try and follow you again. APPLE Really? Well then .. maybe I can try and be less controlling... also. ONION Yes! Good idea! KABOB Hmm. Do I really need any more knick-knacks? APPLE Alright, this time welcome the customer in whatever way you think best. ONION Yes, chief. Welcome sir, did I hear you say Knick knack? Well, Knick knack, or paddy whack... You are not alone! ONION SONG i’m your friend and feel at home KABOB Ho hoo hoo! So many Knick-knacks! APPLE That was brilliant, Onion! He’s picked up a mirror. What do you think? ONION I’ve got just the thing. Echem… KABOB I think I’m gonna buy this one dollar plastic mirror. APPLE Would you like to buy one of these little rubbish chewy waffles? KABOB Just the mirror please. APPLE The smell isn’t reaching... Oh! What was your brilliant idea from earlier? Do that! ONION Yes, chief. KABOB Oh what’s that wonderful smell?! I’ll take one! No, not those... Those! I must say, that was the perfect customer experience. APPLE ONION The Pusterience. APPLE Now, how much have we got? APPLE ONION two dollaaaaaaarrrrs. PATTYSONG when i return da dolla store, i check da cash regis-ter APPLE ONION SONG when she return da dolla store, she check the cash regis-ter PATTY Where da rest? This can’t be it? Oh poor Apple, me gonna have to give you the Bad Chief Raincloud Sticker. KABOB Mmmm…This waffle is glorious! This waffle is glorious!!! WALLA PATTY A good result... And now you may shine, shine, shine, with the good chief star sticker. APPLE ONION Good work, Apple! Can I go on my second daily toilet break now? APPLE Yes, but first…What was your big emergency? PATTY None of your business!