ANNOUNCER OINKIS PROHYAS ROBOPIGGY VAMBRE



PROHYAS 
this looks like the place, vambre


VAMBRE
i can tell, prohyas.  ‘cause i see a piggeh!  how charming.




PROHYAS
the oinkus magisword should be right in its dumb mouth




VAMBRE
oh, look prohyas… a robot piggeh guard


ANNOUNCER
super mighty roboT piggy, he has drills and he is biggy.




VAMBRE
oh! look how easily distracted he is!  let’s throttle him  soundly.




PROHYAS
let’s make things interesting, sis.  whoever can beat the robopiggy first wins the oinkus magisword.  But you can’t peek at what sword you’re pulling out.  gotta use whatever you grab.




VAMBRE
I’ve got a few on me that i haven’t tried out  yet – but i will still win handily.  you’re on.  prepare your losey-pants!




PROHYAS
at least i wear pants


ROBOPIGGY
grrrrr! 


VAMBRE
prettiest first


PROHYAS
suits me!


ANNOUNCER
mummy magisword


PROHYAS
ha!  what a boring, cylindrical robot 


PROHYAS
let’s see how fast i can wrap this up


VAMBRE
wrap this u—och, you’re the worst  


PROHYAS
i appear to have won in record time.  y’know sis, you could learn a lot from--  gaaaahhhhh!




VAMBRE
i could leard a lot about using a piggeh as a bold new form of aviation.




ANNOUNCER
rad rocket magisword


VAMBRE
what a fortuitous draw!  onward, good magisword!




VAMBRE
och!


PROHYAS
yeah, s’good.  i guess it’s my turn. 


ANNOUNCER
magnet magisword


PROHYAS
yiiing!  


VAMBRE
oh, look!  falling ninnyhammers!


ANNOUNCER
exploding bubble magisword


VAMBRE
hmm.  haven’t used this magisword before.  but some bubblies might be useful about now!  oh, well that’s---




VAMBRE
och, me bumcake! 


PROHYAS
oofdah!


PROHYAS
i don’t wanna be a complainer, but it does say “exploding” right in the name.




VAMBRE
duly noted, but do try to explode a little to the left next time. 




PROHYAS
while we’re in a nice criticism cycle, do consider pants.




VAMBRE
i’m getting pretty tired of this no-pants criticism.  i hate pants.  i hate them.  i feel like i can’t even move in them.  they make my skin crawl.  and as my brother i will ask you to stop judging my bare-legs decision and accept me for who i am.  oh, you’re not here.
  



PROHYAS
unpleasant!


PROHYAS
unneeded encore!


VAMBRE
that won’t do.  only i may pummel prohyas.


PROHYAS
a propeller burger?


VAMBRE
feast your eyes on these, piggeh!


ROBOPIGGY
ooh?  Squee!  wee… wee…  wee…


VAMBRE
see?  so easily distracted.  it’s endearing, really.




VAMBRE
the oinkus oinkus magisword is mine.


PROHYAS
but excaliburger is my magisword!


VAMBRE
i swiped it from your room.  what of it?


PROHYAS
my sword saved us, so i get the oinkus oinkus magisword




VAMBRE
mine! mine! mine! mine! mine!  mine!  


PROHYAS
mine! mine! mine! mine! mine!  mine! 


VAMBRE
ha!


PROHYAS
dangit!


ANNOUNCER
oinkus oinkus magisword!


OINKIS
squeeee


PROHYAS
that’s all it does?!  pwahahahahahaaa!  it’s  so dumb!  it’s a dumb sword!  Pwahahahahahaaa




OINKIS
squeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!


PROHYAS
aaaaaaaah!


VAMBRE
vambre wins.