ANDY BECKY GABRIEL JACKIE JAKE LAD LLINOS MARY MOTHER NON SANDRA SHARON STEVE JAKE Hello, Dadi. ANDY Last night of freedom. LAD Let�s go! Come on! ANDY dies. JAKE How did he die again? I fall over and hit my head all the time � and I don't die. It's stupid. What time is Dadi picking me up then? They still have my toys. I want them back. They�re mins MARY Well, the last thing we want is for Jake to think they don�t want him anymore. Do you think Gabriel might consider some contact? A video perhaps? JACKIE I'm sure he would but I haven't been able to speak to him directly yet. Understandably. LLINOS Do we know how he's feeling about Jake? JACKIE I think Jake's the last thing on his mind right now. LLINOS Which is a bit of a concern JACKIE His partner's just died. LLINOS I know that JACKIE And he barely knows Jake - LLINOS Yeah, but still, I'm not convinced we should be allowing LLINOS any contact until we're absolutely certain the adoption's moving forward. This will be hugely traumatic for Gabriel � JACKIE Hang on now, Gabriel�s ability to parent is not in question here. He was approved - LLINOS As part of a stable, loving, couple. LLINOS Which is no longer the case now, is it? We don't know for certain he's actually going to be his Dadi MARY Ok LLINOS now though, do we? MARY it�s alright. It�s great to hear you talking so passionately about Gabe and Jake. But we do need to take the heat out of this in order to move this forward. So I'm going to suggest that we reconvene in a couple of weeks. After the funeral. SANDRA Gabe? Let me do that for you. Do you want me to move that? Are you sure you're alright with the chapel service? He's your partner. SANDRA Sit down would you, Gabe I know, but I'm not. And you're getting on my tits. Sorry. Is your Dad coming here? Will Jake be there? He�s still coming though, isn't he? Of course. Oh my boy I do. You�re alright. JACKIE Want a light? Neither did I. Well this is shit. Not now. We don't need to talk about it now. Not today, Gabe. I'll walk you out, Emrys. I'm leaving now Erm, let�s not talk SANDRA How long were you and your Danny together? What about you, sweetheart? Anyone special? JACKIE Hiya, love. Oh GabrielGabe, can I just take my bloody coat off first? JACKIE Not sitting? Wait. Just let me finish. I'm meeting with Jake's team tomorrow to explore our options It's not as simple as that, love. We'll have to go back to panel. And I'll have to write an addendum report I know that but � your situation's different now, isn't it? Hey, hey, we're not there yet. And I promise I am gonna do everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen. But, I'm afraid Llinos is gonna have to come round next week and start collecting his things because, he�s been asking for them so But hopefully, it�ll just be temporary. Just until we can sort all this out. And the best thing you can do after that, is rest. Do whatever you need to get you through the day. And give yourself time to grieve. Whatever form that takes. I mean, for what it's worth, the best advice anyone ever gave me about grief There are no rules. No. Jake? Jake! MOTHER Come on JACKIE I didn't think you'd end up in A&E, for god�s sake! It�s not about you, Gabriel! It's about Jake! And what he's been through.Cause whatever's happened to you, he has been through a hell of a lot worse! The only thing that matters to them is whether or not you can be trusted to take care of a boy with Jake's needs. On your own. Cause who�s to say that next time life throws you a curve ball and, believe me, there will be many, that you won't fall off the wagon again with Jake in your care? It can't happen again! But the problem now is the Panel will need to see at least two years� stability after relapse before they will approve a match. It was a relapse. It was your default position to stress. Your default position was to use again. But they'll have to look into other options. Especially as you can�t prove to us you�ll be able Yeah. To us. Look, Gabriel sort yourself out. Whatever it takes. Grief counselling, therapy. In the meantime, we've agreed it would be a good idea, as well as letterbox contact, for you to record a short video message for Jake. Something acknowledging how difficult this has all been. Because we need to make absolutely sure he knows that this wasn't all just some elaborate lie and that you've rejected him That little boy has had no reason to trust anyone, so It's only fair that you know he has asked us to look into other adopters. Because he is not capable of knowing what he wants. Because he's just a little boy, Gabriel. I mean, in his head, he thought he was gonna have two Daddies. And one of them died. And the moment he experienced that loss, another catastrophic loss, you didn't show up for him either. I am just saying how it will feel to him. But he can't know what he needs. He's just a child. So don't take it personally. But only you can decide if there is something worth fighting for! SANDRA I don't know. But I've already lost my son. So I would never forgive you if you didn't give it your best shot. SHARON And what are those stages? GABRIEL Well er, denial, anger, bargaining. I�m just reading the poster behind you. You do know that, don't you? SHARON And where are you on that spectrum, Gabriel? Ok, but if you had to put yourself somewhere, just as a thought-experiment, where would that be? It is Gabriel. Look again. No, Gabriel. It's denial. Are you clear what misadventure' means, Gabriel? Right. Ok. This is all perfectly normal. JACKIE You've come a really long way. You have. You did the work, Gabe. You're financially solvent But you've clearly demonstrated you are committed to being the best Dad you can be to Jake. What? Really? Yes. Yes! Of course I still want Jake. He has? He has. Please don't say that to Panel, will you? It's not a done deal yet. I mean, just because you want it; just because Jake wants it, it doesn't mean that Panel will think it's a good idea Hey. They're ready for you. Just be prepared because they won't go easy on you in there. STEVE So, I suppose in the end it comes down to a matter of balancing risk. Is it better for Jake's well-being to remain in the care system, denied the parent he's asked for, with all the pain and rejection that would bring? Or are we perhaps risking more if we approve this match, because if you can't cope as a single adopter, Gabriel, then Jake's suffering could be greater. Thank you, Gabriel, for everything that you�ve shared with us. We've had to think hard about this. It is a high risk decision. But we've come to the unanimous decision to approve the match. You've got a brilliant support network, Gabriel. And you've got a good 'un there too JACKIE Good by good boy Here y�ar. So, just one more thing. Welcome to parenting! We need to talk about meeting birth mum. You've agreed, Gabe. And she's come a really long way this last year. She�s moved area for a fresh start. And she's committed to getting herself clean. She�s been through a lot too. Which is exactly why you should meet her. You'll be able to answer his questions about her in the future. We'll control everything. We'll agree on the questions you ask each other beforehand. Things you'll want to know about Jake. And she'll want to know about Well, you and the kind of life you'll be able to give him. Just think how nice it will be one day, when you're able to say to Jake: I met your mum once. JACKIE Becky. Erm, it's fine. You're very welcome. I'm sure Llinos will be here in a moment BECKY No. I wouldn't bet on it. You know as well as I do social workers are a waste of fucking space. BECKY Where's your social worker? JACKIE Erm, I�m a social worker. BECKY Fuck. Really? I thought you were a special friend or something - like they offered me - I was offered but erm, I didn't want it cause it�s no one else's business, is it? You know. This. It, it's just mine Er, ours. Shit. Sorry erm I'm sure you're not a waste of space. Is she a waste of space? BECKY Good. That's good then. God, bit bloody formal this, isn't it? And what's with the all the plastic bottles? You know, like, they fine you for screwing up the recycling and then they give you all this plastic shit. LLINOS I thought we were meeting in reception? BECKY Yeah, you weren't fucking there, were you? And I've been making a right tit out myself. Came charging in like a paedophile in a playground! Anyway, you're here now, so are we sitting down then or what? LLINOS Ok. So, this is your opportunity to share any information you have about Jake. You've got the questions from the adopter, didn�t you, Becky? BECKY Doesn't he have a name? LLINOS Yeah. But as discussed he'll be known as the adopter. BECKY Why? In case I look him up on Facebook or something and try and kill him? LLINOS Nobody's suggesting that BECKY It's what we agreed. BECKY Alright! Alright. I get it. They're good questions. JACKIE And the adopter has your questions too, so BECKY Thought they were shit, did you? I said yours were good. You said nothing. It�s rude. I'm joking, man. God! You're all so fucking touchy! LLINOS Becky BECKY Alright, alright, over to you adopter. LLINOS Take your time, Becky. It's ok to be upset. BECKY I'm not upset! LLINOS Take a moment BECKY I don't need a fucking moment! It's cause I like Joseph, innit? The musical. Yeah, erm, I was in it when I was at school. I couldn't sing for shit but I could dance the tits off anyone. But erm, I didn't want Joseph cause of Stalin so erm, I settled for Jacob. It's a stronger name anyway. And erm, I wanted him to be strong. I want him to be strong. Is this alright like? LLINOS It's great, I'm sure Ga BECKY Aah! You were gonna say his name then, weren�t you?! Don�t get your knickers in a twist! I'm not gonna try and guess. Go on, next one. In a drum and base club. Off my tits on Molly. Promised me the world and utterly destroyed it. Ha! Go on. Next one. That's actually two questions but I won't hold it against you. God, right one you've got me here, Llin. I thought you said he was intelligent! BECKY I'm joking, man. God. I hope you're more fun with Jake. Anyway. Jakey took his first steps at 15 months. Just as Call the Midwife was starting. I don't forget anything, see. I remember everything everythin Jake bloody loves Call the Midwife, by the way. You'll need to watch it with him. I thought all nuns were cunts before I watched that. And his first word was 'Mam' I think. NON Mabi gwyn i BECKY What�re you staring at? JACKIE And your next question? BECKY I think it erm I think it was seeing him for the first time I couldn't believe how much loved I this pink wrinkly thing that had just like mutilated my fanny. But I did. I loved him. More than I've ever loved anything before or since. Ever will again maybe. JACKIE Erm, your last question? BECKY More than I have. LLINOS It might be nice if you can elab BECKY No, I don�t have anything else to say! I want to ask my questions. That was your last question, wasn't it, adopter? BECKY Good. Yeah. Right, what I want to know is: will you have other close family around? Good. Cause you'll need help, you know? It's hard doing it on your own. Although I was actually dead chuffed when I heard he was going to a single man. Cause I'm his only Mami then, see. And erm, I think it'll be good for him. He needs to know that not all men are complete and utter dick-heads. Why�re you doing this on your own, anyway by the way? Are you gay? GABRIEL Yes, actually. BECKY Cool. I er, I'm cool with that. Cause my nan's a lesbian and she's a total legend. No! That's not on the list. Is he allowed to ask questions that are not on the list? LLINOS We've time if you want to answer? BECKY Alright well don't be surprised if I go parkour on my questions as well. Nan's a legend because she�s the only one that gave a shit that my Dad was a fucking arsehole. BECKY So how come you�re single then? I mean, like, you're hardly a munter. You just haven�t found the right one yet, have you? BECKY Oh god. Right. What happened? and BECKY Shit. Sorry. It's not ok. It�s fucking sad. Llinos, get the man a tissue. No, get the fucking man a tissue, I said! BECKY You cry if you want to. It�s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. And you make sure you teach that to Jakey too.What was his name? Your partner? His name was Andy. BECKY Andy. That's nice. Oh shit. Sorry, look, I just wanted to know what his name was because erm, well cause, cause he would have been his Dad as well, wouldn't he? Lucky boy. You know, not one, but two nice dads to take care of him I mean look at you. Look at your kind face. Anyway erm LLINOS Will you take Jake on holiday? LLINOS Last question. Do you have a garden? BECKY Actually, can I ask one more question? You you Fuck! BECKY You will love him, won�t you? Good. Because I love him too, see. And erm I want him to have a good life. I want him to be happy. And you will let him know that that I loved him. It really wasn�t because I didn't love him. God look at you look at your kind face. LLINOS Erm, we always think it's nice if there's a picture. Of the two of you. Together. For Jake. BECKY I don't have to put my arm round him or nothing? LLINOS No, you can just stand next to each other. BECKY I feel like a right fucking pleb. LLINOS No. It's lovely. Thanks. BECKY Right then, we�d better get going, innit Llin? Christ, I could do with a drink! And er, you'll have things to do, I imagine. Well anyway, erm, goodbye Robocop. BECKY Thank you. LLINOS Come on, let�s go.