ALL ARABELLA AUTOMATED_VOICE CHRISTMAS DANIA DECKLAN EDDIE ELLIE FRANK JASON JINGLE_BELLS_PLAYS KATHLEEN LOGAN MARILYN MILES NATE PETER SAM SONG_PLAYS TOM TOMME VANCE SAM Keep an open mind. Don't look for a reason to run. VANCE Sam? VANCE Dr. Vance DeBlaine. So sorry I'm late. Surgery ran long. SAM All good. Nice to finally meet you. VANCE Same. VANCE I know we said drinks, but should we grab a table? VANCE Most people think a tonsillectomy is just for when you're young, but a lot of adults have 'em, too. SAM Is that so? VANCE It is. VANCE So, Sam, your profile said you're a business manager? SAM Vague, I know. Uh, basically I help high-net worth clients manage their money and assets and guide them to, hopefully, make prudent decisions. SAM Right now, I'm trying to convince one client. SAM not to buy a social media company. VANCE Kids are so cute at that age. SAM Hmm? VANCE Ah. Don't mind me, I'm kid-crazy right now. My brother and his wife just had twins back in August. My first time being an uncle. SAM Aw! Produced by VANCE Wanna see pictures of them? SAM Oh, no, that's okay. SAM I-- Oh, yes, there they are. SAM There are two of 'em. VANCE Leah and Chloe. VANCE They live in Portland. I can't wait to see them for Christmas. VANCE Makes me want to have twins when I get married. SAM Check? VANCE Do you have any, uh. VANCE nieces or nephews? SAM Hmm? SAM Uh. SAM yes. One of each. Miles and Dania. SAM They live with my. SAM sister and brother-in-law in Brayden. VANCE That's not too far away. You must see them all the time. SAM Not really. SAM Being self-employed means working 24/7. You know, plus, I find the suburbs confusing with all the peace and quiet and lawn gnomes in front of the identical houses. It's. VANCE Will you see them for Christmas? SAM No! I will be on a plane to Hawaii in T-minus. SAM 22 hours and four minutes. SAM It's my first attempt at relaxation. SAM in longer than I care to admit, because. well, it'll just depress me. VANCE Wait. You're going to Hawaii for Christmas? SAM That's right. VANCE Without your family? SAM Yes. JASON Sorry, Murph. No time for fetch. JASON Off to work I go. JASON Hey, Mom. MARILYN Hello, my baby boy. Would you like to come over for lunch? I made extra lasagna. And Arabella is here while your brother's at the store. JASON I wish I could, but I'm off to work on Kathleen and Nate's nursery. You know, their baby's due New Year's. MARILYN That's right! Hey. MARILYN did they give you any tips on adopting? JASON Yeah, they did, and, uh, I'm looking over some documents. Oh, and I have an appointment with their lawyer in January. MARILYN This is so exciting! MARILYN Maybe, by next Christmas, I'll be a grandma again. JASON Hey, whoa-ho, whoa. Tap the breaks. JASON I can practically see you knitting booties now. JASON Look, this is gonna take some. JASON time, and a surprisingly hefty retainer fee for me to get things in place. MARILYN Well, don't wait too long. Your brothers and sisters have a head start on you. I'm starting to lose count of how many grandkids I have. ARABELLA Grandma! JASON That's very funny. I'll call you later. MARILYN Bye-bye, honey. JASON Good morning. MILES Morning! JASON You are in such trouble! NATE Now? KATHLEEN Now! NATE But that's-- KATHLEEN Two weeks early. NATE I thought we were having a New Year's baby. KATHLEEN Christmas. NATE We're not ready! KATHLEEN Tell that to the baby. NATE Oh, I'm bringing it up when she's 18. KATHLEEN We need to focus! NATE And pack! NATE Okay. KATHLEEN Okay. Yeah. KATHLEEN Lydia said the birth mother just started having real contractions. NATE Okay, so we may have a bit of time. KATHLEEN I think so. KATHLEEN The drive from here to Buffalo is nine hours. NATE Yeah, and that huge snowstorm's a couple days away. KATHLEEN That's not our biggest problem right now. NATE What's our biggest problem right now? KATHLEEN Who's gonna watch Miles and Dania while we're gone? NATE Right, yeah, the kids. Uh, what about your mom? KATHLEEN She's still at her art retreat in Italy. She's not supposed to fly in until the day after Christmas. NATE Yeah, my parents are still on vacation in Sydney. Where's Frank? KATHLEEN Dad's at his fishing cabin with-- KATHLEEN No service. NATE No service. NATE What about Miles watching Dania? I mean, he's. NATE 13 now. He has. NATE Right, yeah. Terrible idea. Forget I suggested it. KATHLEEN Whoever it is has to be trustworthy and responsible. NATE And have nothing else going on. four days before Christmas. SONG PLAYS This Christmas. SONG PLAYS I'll dream of a private yacht SAM I'm not saying that you can't buy the yacht. SAM Stavros. I'm asking if it's truly the best use of your bonus, considering you already have one. SAM Yes, you did. Last year. There you go! Exactly! Okay, so, there are many things we can do. We can take the-- SAM Tigers. are illegal. SAM Uh, Stavros. SAM I'm gonna have to call you back on my way to Hawaii, okay? SAM Just-- Just don't buy. SAM anything! What? Shut the front door! ELLIE Mm-hmm! SAM That's why she was acting weird! ELLIE Yeah, it turns out she was planning the world's most romantic proposal. SAM Did she dress. SAM up in a suit of armor and ride a horse with a jousting pole and the ring on it? ELLIE Did one of your clients do that? SAM Uh, Omar. Don't ask me how I found the jousting pole. Whoa! ELLIE Never. And, no, she didn't. It was roses, "I love you," and this ring. SAM It's perfect. SAM This deserves. SAM a toast. ELLIE Oh. ELLIE my god. I knew you'd have two champagne flutes handy. SAM In my line of work. SAM you always have to be ready to celebrate. SAM in case a big deal goes through. And this pretty. SAM much qualifies as a big deal. SAM Boom! SAM It's exciting! ELLIE Okay, but really, can you believe it? ELLIE Like, I'm engaged. SAM Honestly, Ellie? I. SAM can't. SAM Didn't we always say that marriage is for other people? ELLIE Yeah. Well. I don't know, things change when you meet "the one". ELLIE I heard it-- it's cliché, but it's true. SAM I'll take your word for it. ELLIE Hey, you know what? ELLIE It could happen for you, too, though. Oh. wait. It can't, 'cause that means that you'd have to make it to a second date. ELLIE and like, you know-- oh, that thing you do. ELLIE where you look for a reason to run-- you can't do that. SAM Then what? Move to the suburbs. SAM and settle down, like my sister? ELLIE Or me and Abbie. We're talking about moving there. ELLIE We could be neighbors again! SAM Please. Can you imagine me in the suburbs with a husband, a dog, and an SUV? ELLIE Why not? ELLIE Sam. ELLIE more than anything, I just. you know, I hope one day. ELLIE you find a guy that makes you want to break open a bottle. ELLIE of champagne and, you know, have it just be for you. SAM Congrats. ELLIE Thank you. ARABELLA Uncle Jason? JASON Oh, hey, Arabella. ARABELLA Grandma told me to bring this to you, in case you get hungry. JASON Oh, thanks. JASON Lasagna. Of course. MILES Hi, Arabella. ARABELLA Hey, Miles. Are you gonna be at the play tryouts tomorrow? MILES Yeah, sure. Totally. MILES Yeah. ARABELLA Cool. See you. ARABELLA there. Bye, Uncle Jason. JASON Bye, Arabella. MILES Bye. DANIA Bye. JASON So, the community center's. JASON doing The Life and Times of Santa Claus this year. Arabella's the Elf Queen. JASON and the kid who's supposed to be the narrator. JASON has to go out of town, so they're looking for a replacement, ASAP. MILES Got it. JASON I can. JASON text your parents the info, if you really want to audition? MILES Yeah, I do. Thanks. JASON Look at you. MILES I'm gonna get you! JASON Okay, you two. NATE Anything? KATHLEEN Aunt Martha's in Oklahoma. NATE Uh, what about the Huttons? KATHLEEN Hedy said that they're going to Pat's family's in Michigan tomorrow. NATE Yeah, we're just so close to Christmas. KATHLEEN What about Jason? He's babysat the kids before and he's thinking about adopting-- this could. KATHLEEN be a trial run. NATE Well, you know, we just hired him as the contractor for the nursery. It feels like a lot to ask more than an evening, you know, like we're-- KATHLEEN Yeah, taking advantage. KATHLEEN Yeah. NATE Yeah. NATE We could ask your brother. KATHLEEN Are you kidding? Don't you remember what happened last time? SAM I'll totally pay for that. NATE He did pay for it. KATHLEEN That's not the point! Sam doesn't know the first thing about kids. Plus, he'd probably say "no" anyhow. He hasn't visited us since. NATE Hey, um. Sam's family. He's only a couple of hours away. And, hon? He's kind of our only option. SAM Is everything okay? KATHLEEN Why do you say it like that? SAM Because. we haven't talked since. KATHLEEN Did Mom tell you that Nate and I are adopting again? SAM Yeah, she mentioned something about that a few months ago. How's that going, by the way? KATHLEEN The birth mother just went into labor. SAM Ah! SAM So goin' soon, then? KATHLEEN Sooner than expected. She wasn't supposed to arrive till New Year's. KATHLEEN And Mom was gonna help. KATHLEEN but she's not set to arrive until the 26th. SAM Uh-huh. KATHLEEN to watch Miles and Dania, and we have to drive out to Buffalo to get the baby today. SAM It'll cost her a kidney to rebook this close to Christmas. KATHLEEN That's what she said. Anyway. we need to find someone A.S.A.P. to come here and be with the kids until we get back. SAM Wait. are you asking me to babysit? KATHLEEN I know it's been a really long time since you've been drafted into service-- SAM Years! SAM It's been years, Kath. KATHLEEN We're obviously desperate, but you are the only person who never goes anywhere for the holidays. SAM Ah. KATHLEEN And you can make all of your work calls here. when you're not with the kids, of course. KATHLEEN Ah. DANIA Mom! KATHLEEN God! You're gonna make me do it, aren't you? KATHLEEN Fine. I'm calling in the Calvin Card. SAM What? It has been 22 years! KATHLEEN You made me lie to Mom and Dad about where you were on Senior Night in high school when you. KATHLEEN snuck out with Calvin Carnackie to Central Park, and I told them that you were with. KATHLEEN Sonya Perez and Lola Kurtz, so that you wouldn't get grounded for the whole entire summer. You totally. KATHLEEN owe me big-time! SAM Oh! I can't believe you're calling that in! KATHLEEN Desperate times, desperate measures. SAM Isn't there, like, a-- a professional Mary Poppins service out there you could hire? Someone who has the slightest clue on what to do with children? And who didn't. SAM blow up the house last time they tried? KATHLEEN You know what? I knew better than to ask, but Nate pulled his "Sam's family" Jedi mind-tricks, and I fell for it. KATHLEEN I guess I'm just gonna have to leave Miles in charge after all. Merry Christmas, Sam. SAM Miles being in charge was sarcasm, right? KATHLEEN He's 13. Of course, it was sarcasm. SAM Just checking. How long would this. arrangement. SAM entail? KATHLEEN Two days. Probably. SAM "Probably"? KATHLEEN You know, Sam. babies have their own schedules. But you won't. I will leave you a detailed one and make sure that you don't have to worry about a thing. SAM Okay. KATHLEEN Seriously? Okay! KATHLEEN Wow! Thank you! SAM But I don't have to cook? KATHLEEN Absolutely not. KATHLEEN Best behavior from both of you, okay? Jason's gonna watch over you. KATHLEEN until Uncle Sam gets here. MILES I don't need a babysitter anymore. KATHLEEN Well, your sister does. KATHLEEN Unless you wanna do all the cooking and cleaning for her while I'm gone? MILES No! DANIA No! JASON I'll stay until your brother gets here. JASON And I'll finish up the nursery before you get back. KATHLEEN You're amazing. Thank you so much. NATE Okay, car's packed. DANIA Christmas is in four. DANIA days. You'll be back in time, right? KATHLEEN Of course, sweetie! DANIA Promise? KATHLEEN I promise. We will absolutely be back in time for Christmas. NATE And we'll bring your new baby sister. NATE too. NATE Later, buddy. KATHLEEN Oh! NATE Bye. ELLIE I'm sorry-- ELLIE you gave up Hawaii. ELLIE to babysit? SAM Didn't give up. I merely delayed my departure. But. SAM my baby sister hasn't asked me to watch the kids since. ELLIE Since you. ELLIE almost burned down their kitchen, making an omelette. SAM It was a minor fire, quickly. SAM extinguished. Plus, my plan is just to order in everything. ELLIE That's expensive. SAM Cheaper than a remodel. ELLIE Sam, you have an aversion to kids. SAM No, no, not an aversion. I'm awkward and uncomfortable. Mainly when they're tiny. SAM But Miles is like 13, he's practically in college now and-- ELLIE What? SAM Dania is. SAM well, she's. SAM somewhere between like six and. ten, so, we're going to be able to communicate like adults. ELLIE It's gonna be a disaster. SAM Oh! Ye of little faith. I am going to rock these two nights of gunclehood and then it's off to checking work emails on sandy beaches, sipping Mai Tais. I got this. ELLIE You got this. SAM Yeah! SAM I got this! Sorry. MILES Yeah! JASON Oh! MILES Let's go! JASON That's it-- time for you to hit the hay. MILES Oh, come on. This is just 'cause you lost. JASON And because it's 15 minutes past when your mom said she wanted you to be in bed. JASON But. JASON in deference to your victory. JASON I'll clean up. MILES Yes! SAM I think this is the place. SAM Thanks for the ride. SAM Yep, I got it. No problemo. SAM Go! JASON Oh. SAM Oh. Wow. Okay. SAM Whoa! SAM Whoa. JASON Hi. SAM Who are you? JASON I'm. the guy who lives here. Jason. DeVito. Your family's neighbor. SAM Oh! SAM Hi! Sam. Dalton. The brother. SAM Which you obviously already know. Obviously. SAM I've said "obviously" twice. JASON Uh. this way. SAM Right! All these houses out here, they just. they look-- they look the same to me. JASON So, when was the last time you were in Brayden? SAM A while. Kathleen and Nate usually come to visit me in the big city, when they need some grown-up time. SAM You're new. JASON Yes and no. SAM Well, you guys sure do. SAM like to go all out for Christmas around here. JASON Well, you should see my. JASON mom and pop's place across the street. SAM Oh, your parents live across the street? JASON Yeah, for a few years. JASON And then my place opened up around the time my great-aunt Mimi-- JASON God rest her soul-- JASON left me enough for a downpayment. JASON Here I am. SAM Here you are. JASON Enough about me. SAM Wow. JASON Kathleen left this for you. SAM Ah, yes! SAM The schedule! Wow. This is the longest document I've seen that wasn't a mortgage application. SAM She has got this down to the minute! 7 A.M.-- "Wake up". Oof! SAM 7:10-- "Make sure children are awake." SAM Oh, she's serious. 7:15-- SAM "Begin ordering breakfast. Menus are in the. kitchen." SAM I'm feeling very "Maria Von Trapp meets the Captain" at the moment. JASON Oh, she doesn't have the play on here. SAM Play? JASON Yeah, there's an audition. JASON for the Christmas play, tomorrow at 10 A.M. SAM I was in Christmas plays when I was a kid. I once played an elf named Gunther. Pretty sure that's the origin of my lederhosen aversion. SAM Ahem. You were saying? JASON Yeah, Miles really wants to audition. He kinda has a crush on my niece, but we don't discuss it. SAM Wise. Ha. JASON Well, what does she have down for 10? SAM Uh, "Christmas Crafts. Make stocking for baby." JASON Okay. JASON Well, I'm already taking my niece Arabella to the auditions-- I can take Miles. JASON too, and then you're free to make the stocking with Dania. SAM Yeah, okay. SAM Are you sure? JASON Yeah. JASON And that way, you'll be back on schedule by noon, for, um. "lunch". SAM That's great. SAM Cool. Okay. SAM Yeah. SAM Where are the kids, anyway? JASON They're asleep. SAM So early? JASON It's past 10:30 P.M. SAM Which is late. for children. JASON And for me, too, so, if you're okay here, I'm gonna head home. JASON Uh. JASON I airdropped my contact info to your phone, JASON so, if you need any help, I'm just right next door. SAM Bless you. JASON You're doing a good thing, Sam. JASON the brother. SAM Thank you, Jason. the neighbor. JASON Night. SAM Don't look for a reason to run. SAM You so got this! Mm-hmm. SAM Oh. ooh. Three Days Until CHRISTMAS DANIA Who are you? SAM Uh. SAM Sam. Your uncle? DANIA My uncle Sam has a mustache. SAM Th-that was an unfortunate phase that was. SAM blessedly brief. DANIA Uncle Sam! SAM Oh! Oh. hi! DANIA I texted Mom. She said I could have pancakes for breakfast! SAM Oh. SAM Oh! SAM Oh! You're up! MILES You're late. SAM "Somebody" hasn't had their morning coffee. MILES I'm 13. I don't drink coffee. SAM Good call! Guess that leaves you out, too, then, huh? DANIA Good call. SAM So, where is the, uh. SAM machine? With the. you know? Pods. DANIA We don't use pods because plastic stays around in landfills for a million-billion years. SAM Okay, fair. But what do the adults of the household-- A.K.A. Mom and Dad to you-- drink for caffeine? MILES Dad drinks kombucha and Mom drinks tea. SAM This is a coffee-free home? SAM I really feel like that should've been conveyed earlier. DANIA Want me to get you. DANIA a kombucha? SAM Not if my life depended on it. I'll make do with tea. Now! Breakfast! MILES You're not gonna. MILES cook, are you? SAM Eh! No. Luckily, your mother's unnervingly thorough schedule on what the next two days looks like, includes delivery. SAM places, which means breakfast pancakes are gonna. SAM be provided by. Oh! "Clean Green Food". SAM Oof. SAM I'm gonna lose so much weight. AUTOMATED VOICE We're sorry. Your call cannot be completed as. AUTOMATED VOICE dialed. Please check the area code. AUTOMATED VOICE and number, then dial-- DANIA I'm hungry! SAM Yep, any second now. SAM any second. AUTOMATED VOICE We're sorry. Your call cannot be completed-- SAM Uh. okay. So, apparently, this "Clean Green" is having. SAM some technical issues. SAM Do you know any other restaurants we could order from? DANIA They're the only vegan place nearby that'll deliver breakfast. SAM "Vegan"? MILES Dania's vegan now. SAM Willingly? SAM Oh, okay. Um. SAM does cereal count? Huh? How about that? DANIA Mom said pancakes! SAM Does she do this a lot? SAM I will give you 50 bucks to not make that face anymore. DANIA I just want pancakes! SAM We really gotta work on your negotiating skills, kid. SAM Kid? MARILYN Hello. Hey, sweetie. There's eggnog. MARILYN on the table. Now go inside. I'll be in there in a second, okay? PETER Hey, Ma. MARILYN Mm. PETER How are you? MARILYN I'm good. PETER Okay. PETER Hey. Thanks for taking Bella to this play thing. It's just right in the middle of the. PETER store's Christmas rush. JASON Yeah. Of course. JASON How are you doing? PETER I'm hangin' in. PETER It's the first Christmas as a single. PETER dad, so, uh. MARILYN Arabella knows you're doing your best. PETER Thanks, Mom. I hope so. PETER Parenting isn't easy. MARILYN Oh, ho, ho, ho. You're preaching to the choir. PETER You sure you wanna tackle. PETER this solo? JASON I'm tired of waiting for someone to want to join me. Which could be never at this rate, so. PETER Well, not with that attitude. MARILYN Jason. MARILYN you spent too long in Los Angeles looking for. MARILYN the right guy-- you've only been in town a year. You never know who you'll meet. SAM I'm sorry! I didn't know who else to call. SAM Apparently, it's vegan pancakes or deep sighs of disappointment, followed by a face I usually only see right before someone breaks up with me. JASON So do you want me to find the recipe for you? SAM It's a little more complicated than that, in the fact that I don't, uh. you know-- cook. Ever. JASON Oh, right. The fire. SAM They told you? JASON Only because I did some minor renovations for them last summer. JASON and I found some scorch marks that the other contractor missed. SAM Who knew dried chives were that flammable, huh? It was like a tinderbox! Just. JASON But we're gonna focus on the now. SAM Right. Now. SAM I will pay you a hundred dollars to make me a vegan pancake breakfast. JASON Do you want to give it a try? Or make sure. JASON the griddle's hot? SAM Thank you. Okay. JASON And we just need a little bit more flour. SAM And the flour. flour. This is flour? SAM Just. scoop. JASON And now the oat milk. SAM Mm-hmm. SAM Ooh! All right. JASON There we go. Now all we have to do. JASON is make them. Christmas pancakes. SAM Wow! Nice trick. SAM Do you have kids? JASON Not yet. But I do have 18 nieces and nephews. SAM I'm sorry, what? MILES Jason has a big family. JASON I'm the youngest of seven kids. SAM W-Wow. JASON And one thing I learned along the way is how to create things like. JASON Christmas pancakes. SAM Actual. SAM Christmas pancakes! Who knew? SAM Wow! JASON Oh! We have to leave for the auditions in 15 minutes. MILES I'll be ready. SAM Jason? Can I talk to you for a second? SAM So, you're really good at this "uncle" thing. JASON I suppose. SAM I don't know what I'm doing, even with the world's most comprehensive set of instructions. JASON Don't be so hard on yourself, you just got started. SAM Yet, I've already failed three times. You know what? I want to hire you. JASON What? SAM To. SAM co-nanny or. manny or uncle. SAM whatever-- I just need someone. SAM to help me until I get the hang of things. JASON You don't have to hire me. SAM I wouldn't feel right asking. SAM you for help every two seconds. JASON I-- I. JASON wouldn't know what to charge, and besides, I'm already here working on the nursery. SAM Perfect! You're already here! And I've seen the room, it's practically done. Good job, you! JASON I-I don't know. SAM I mean, you said it. SAM yourself, you have, what-- 800 nieces and nephews? JASON 18. SAM Potato/po-tah-to! SAM You're an expert! I'm stuck in beginner mode. Think of yourself as. an "uncle consultant". JASON An uncle-- SAM For two days. SAM Name your price. JASON Do you always throw money at a problem? SAM Only when I think it'll work. JASON Well, I do need to hire a lawyer. SAM Okay, . SAM not that serious. I was thinking-- JASON Yeah, for something else. JASON and, um, the retainer fee is three times what I budgeted for. SAM What's the fee? SAM Done! JASON Well, looks like you got yourself an uncle consultant. SAM Yes, I do. JASON Oh, and, uh. here. JASON You got some green batter on your. JASON Rossini loafers. SAM Oh! Thanks. SAM Hey, Jason? How'd you know these were. SAM Rossini loafers? SAM Oh? SAM Oh! SAM No. DANIA Look at all the big Nutcrackers! SAM Whoa! Look at all the big Nutcrackers! JASON Ah, I take it you didn't go to a lot of these growing up? SAM Does the Museum of Modern Art count? JASON There's a slight difference. Well, I gotta go paint sets until the auditions are over. SAM Oh. SAM Okay. Uh, yeah. Go. Go, go, go. Just, um, text me when you're done. JASON Hey, Logan. Kevin. LOGAN Hey. JASON How are you? JASON Nice to see you. All right, see you guys later. SAM Interesting. DANIA Uncle Sam? SAM Hey. SAM Niece Dania. The Christmas stocking craft booth is this way. DANIA There's the reindeer toss! May we do that, please? SAM Don't you want to make a stocking for your new baby sister? DANIA Maybe later. Let's go! ARABELLA Hey, Uncle Eddie. EDDIE Hey, kiddo! EDDIE Your cousins are getting fitted for their costumes, and after that, Ms. Latsko wants to see you for Elf Queen. ARABELLA Where's the fitting area? DECKLAN I'll show you. I just got done. ARABELLA Good luck, Miles. EDDIE Hey! Thanks so much for coming. EDDIE to try out, Miles. We were left in a lurch, so this is real helpful. EDDIE And, uh. EDDIE Pete asked me to drop Arabella back by his house when it's over. JASON I'll tell Mom. JASON Have fun. EDDIE Let's go! EDDIE Come on. SAM Oh? Yeah! SAM You are a reindeer ring-toss ringer. DANIA What does a "ringer" mean? SAM It means you get another stuffed reindeer. DANIA Your turn, Uncle Sam. SAM Oh, no, this isn't for me. DANIA You don't know until you try. SAM Some things you just know. DANIA Mom's good. DANIA at this game. SAM Nice psychological trick there, kid. I see what you did. DANIA I don't know what that means. SAM It means you have tapped into my sibling-rivalry side. SAM Let's do this! All right. SAM Here we go. SAM Just a little, uh. a little rusty. SAM It's the wind. SAM Yep, wind's blowing that way, so you gotta. trajectory, you know. SAM You'll learn it later. Uh, okay. SAM here we go. So. SAM Sorry. Just. SAM Hey, batter-batter, hey, batter. Hey, batter, hey, batter! Sah-wing, batter-- oh! SAM Okay. hi. SAM Hi. See, the problem. SAM is, sometimes, I'm so strong, I don't-- oh! SAM Oh, I gotta take this. Uh. you, um-- KATHLEEN Hello? SAM You know, uh, just. KATHLEEN Sam? SAM Here, just play a few hundred rounds on me, okay? KATHLEEN Hello? SAM Uh. hi, sis! Hey, how's it going? KATHLEEN Hey. I'm calling to give you an update on. KATHLEEN the baby. Where are you? SAM Oh, we’re at the Christmas fair with Dania, where she has just won another. SAM stuffed reindeer! Go, you! SAM Good job! You know, I actually think she's found her life calling. KATHLEEN Aren't you supposed to be doing the crafts that I scheduled for now? SAM Uh, yeah, well, we're gonna get to that in a little bit. KATHLEEN Sam! It is really important to stay on schedule. Kids need structure. SAM Is everything okay with the baby? KATHLEEN Yes, thankfully. Things are just taking a little longer than anticipated. SAM Well, you think you're gonna be back by Christmas? KATHLEEN So far, we're still on track for that, but it's gonna be closer than we thought. Where's Miles? SAM He's auditioning for the Christmas play. KATHLEEN Ohh! The play! I totally forgot about that. SAM Yeah, Jason didn't. He's with him right now. KATHLEEN Jason? SAM Yeah, your neighbor. SAM with, like, a thousand nieces and nephews? He's helping me with the kids. I figured that's okay, since, well. you left them with him until I arrived. KATHLEEN No. That's. KATHLEEN fine. Jason's great with kids. SAM Yeah, and also very good-looking. SAM and gay! And how come you never told me about him before? KATHLEEN I thought about it when he first moved in next door, but you two are very different. He's really serious about having a family, Sam. And you're. SAM I'm.? KATHLEEN Mm. NATE Kath! NATE Dr. March called. We're back on! KATHLEEN Gotta go, Sam! SAM No, no, no, no! Don't go! I-- W-Wait, wait, wait, wait! SAM Dania? Don't forget your winnings. SAM Hey, what'd you want to talk about? JASON Here. I'll be in in a second. MILES Got it. DANIA I am so in love with my reindeers. MILES There are a lot of them! Have you named them? DANIA Not yet. JASON So, my brother, Eddie, is directing the Christmas play this year, and he said that the only reason that Miles got the part is because the other kid trying out gets queasy. JASON when he's nervous. I think he was off. JASON because my niece was talking with another boy. SAM Ah, yes. Young love is tough. Old love's not much better. SAM What do we do? JASON Well, I was thinking-- since you said you'd done plays before-- that you might have some advice for him. SAM No, that was many years ago. JASON Were you any good? SAM I was. Uh, despite the lederhosen. JASON Somehow. JASON I knew you would be. SAM I can't tell-- is that a compliment? JASON It's an opportunity for Miles. Maybe you can give him some tips? SAM Oh. I don't know. SAM He doesn't seem. SAM to particularly like me. JASON Because he's a teenager! All adults are boring. SAM Yeah, but he listens to you. JASON Yeah. JASON ’cause I'm connected to the girl he likes. SAM Right. SAM I'll see what I can do. JASON Thanks. JASON Sh. JASON should we go in? SAM Yeah, want to go in? SAM Cool. Cool, cool, cool. JASON That's an interesting fashion choice. SAM My shoes weren't the only thing that got hit with the green batter. My sweater got nailed, too. SAM I had to switch. JASON And you just happened to have. JASON a Christmas aloha shirt? SAM Festive, right? I was packed. SAM for my trip to Hawaii for Christmas when Kathleen ambushed me. You know, it was easier to throw in a couple sweaters and pants than to totally repack. SAM especially since I'm headed to the airport as soon as they get home. JASON You're spending Christmas in Hawaii? JASON By yourself? SAM Trying to. My goal is to unplug and relax. Best I can. JASON But it's Christmas. Don't you want to spend it with your family? SAM My parents got divorced, like, 20 years ago. Mom's in Italy. Dad spends most of his time at the lake house-- he's retired. JASON What about coming here? SAM Hold on. SAM Oh! One sec. Hey, Duchess. SAM Yes, we received your request to have. SAM all the toys donated anonymously to the school. SAM Yes, we are right on top of it, don't worry, mm-hmm. MARILYN Knock-knock! JASON Oh, hi, Mom, come on in. SAM Oh, okay, yes! And a ve-very Merry Christmas to you, too. All right. Bye-bye. Have fun. SAM Sorry, a VIP client. MARILYN Murphy, no! JASON Drop the reindeer! MARILYN Murphy! MARILYN No! Sit! SAM We meet at last. SAM Oh, gosh! JASON Are you okay? SAM Oh, I'm okay. I'm a li-- ahh! I'm good! I'm good! Good. Okay. SAM Oh! JASON I'm so sorry. JASON Murphy associates plush toys with fetch. SAM Kathleen's gonna kill me. DANIA She totally is. MARILYN We can fix it. Do not worry. MARILYN Marilyn DeVito. SAM Sam Dalton. Are you one of Jason's sisters? MARILYN I like you already, Sam Dalton. JASON Meet my mom. SAM Impossible! You're too young to have. SAM seven kids! MARILYN He just gets better and better. MARILYN I came to. MARILYN drop off cookies, but also to remind. MARILYN Jason that it's the family Christmas lights walk tonight. SAM Christmas lights walk? MARILYN It's a neighborhood tradition-- MARILYN incredibly festive. SAM Oh! MILES Can we go. MILES with the DeVitos tonight. MILES please? SAM Oh. Uh, well, we don't want to impose. MARILYN Oh, honey, please, no. Our family. MARILYN motto is. "the more, the merrier". SAM I guess we're going on a lights walk, huh? DANIA What about the angel? SAM Here we go. SAM Ready? One, two, three, up! There you go! SAM All right, right up on top. Look how pretty. MARILYN Beautiful. SAM Yeah! You did it. PETER So, Sam, is this your first time to Brayden? SAM Uh, no, actually, I was here five years ago. TOMME Oh, right-- TOMME the kitchen incident! SAM Does everyone know? PETER No. No. PETER no, no. Pop, here, and I run. PETER DeVito General Store, so all the contractors. PETER come to us for all the supplies. SAM All of 'em? ALL All of them! TOMME As well as my. TOM youngest, who's back home now. for good! JASON Mm. SAM Where were you before? JASON Los Angeles. TOMME But you're here now. TOMME thanks to Great-Aunt Mimi's kind heart. MARILYN Come on. MARILYN This is supposed to be a Christmas lightswalk, not "linger". MARILYN Let's mosey! PETER Bella, let's "mosey". MARILYN We're walking now. TOMME We're walking. JASON Hey, guys. SAM Who are they? JASON That's Kevin and Logan. JASON Kevin grew up in Brayden and when he moved back, he brought Logan with him. SAM Oh, another relative? JASON No. Kevin was my high-school boyfr-- JASON You okay? SAM Yep! SAM That shrub just attacked. SAM me! JASON I'm beginning to think you have an inner-ear disorder. SAM Hilarious. SAM You were saying? SAM Kevin? JASON Uh. JASON Kevin and I broke up. JASON in college, which is where he met Logan. SAM Oh. Is he the one that got away? JASON No! No, Kevin and Logan are perfect for each other. I'm really happy for them. They're good people. SAM I'm sensing a "but." JASON Sometimes, I envy what they have. JASON Ever since I can remember, I've wanted to fall in love, get married, become a dad. SAM Your happily-ever-after? JASON Somethin' like that. What about you? SAM Oh. I don't know about "happily ever after". I-I go on dates, I just barely make it to a second one. JASON Why? SAM If you ask my best friend, Ellie, it's because I'm always looking for a. SAM reason to run. Don't ask me why. JASON Well, maybe it's easy to find a reason to run if there's not a better reason to stay. SAM I'm totally quoting you on that. JASON You're welcome. SAM Well, I'm sure. SAM you'll find your guy eventually. JASON Yeah. JASON But I'm tired of waiting for my happily-ever-after to start. SAM What does that mean? JASON After this Christmas, I am starting the adoption process. JASON That's what I needed the retainer fee for. JASON No more waiting. I'm gonna have my happily-ever-after, even if I gotta do it on my own. KATHLEEN Nate. KATHLEEN she's a Christmas baby. NATE I know. KATHLEEN You softie. NATE I know. KATHLEEN Your mom or mine? NATE Mine. NATE Oh, no. now yours. They. they want updates. NATE Should we start telling everyone? KATHLEEN Not yet. KATHLEEN I want to savor this moment a little longer. Two Days Until CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYS We'll be together once again. SONG PLAYS this Christmas SAM Stop. SONG PLAYS Our family home so full of love and laughter SAM Ugh. Stop trying to make fetch happen. SONG PLAYS Time with the loved ones Hanging gifts. SONG PLAYS on the tree SAM Oh. SONG PLAYS What fun with Grandpa. SAM Excuse me, gotta get up, excuse me. SONG PLAYS What’s on TV? JASON Good morning. SAM Morning! JASON I figured, since you're paying me, the least I can do is come in early and make breakfast. SAM Well, I applaud your reasoning. SAM Why do I smell coffee? Oh. SAM Oh, ho, ho, ho. ho! That's it-- I am paying you double. JASON I'll add it to the bill. JASON Have you heard anything from. JASON your sister about the baby? SAM Ah, not yet. SAM I texted them last night, but no response. JASON When's your flight to Hawaii? SAM Christmas Eve afternoon. Depending on when they. SAM get back. JASON That's tomorrow. You're gonna miss Miles' play. SAM I didn't know about it when I changed my reservation. SAM Santa waffles! JASON I have many skills. SAM Apparently. SAM Can I help? JASON Sure. SAM Okay. Uh. SAM how do we do this? JASON Strawberries. SAM 'Kay. Just lay 'em down here? JASON Yeah, start at the top. SAM Okay. JASON Good. JASON Now all he needs is a fluffy white beard. SAM Okay. How's that? JASON I think you got it. MILES Waffles? SAM Hey! Miles. SAM Good morning! Uh, how-- how-- how are the lines coming? MILES Mr. D said I could keep the script during the performance, since it's tomorrow, and I won't be able to memorize all the lines by then. SAM Smart. MILES I'm not very good. SAM Well, if you want, I can help you. SAM I did some Christmas plays when I was younger. MILES Okay. I mean, I need all the help I can get. SAM Okay! Great. Yeah. Uh, after breakfast? SAM Why don't you go wake up. SAM your sister? It is. waffle time! MILES Waffle time. SAM Can I get a "ho. SAM ho, ho"? Let me hear ya, Miles! SAM "Ho, ho, ho!" SAM I'm starting to feel a bond. PETER Okay, thanks. Hey. PETER What are you here for? JASON Extra paint. I want to finish the nursery tonight, in case Nate and Kathleen get home tomorrow. PETER Oh, fun. JASON Hey, what's with the limp? PETER Huh? Oh. Got a blister last night at the lights walk. Can you believe it? JASON Oh, that's no fun. PETER Well, it was actually fun. Helped get me outta my post-divorce funk, so. Anyway, how about you? You and Sam and the kids have fun? JASON Yeah. We did, actually. JASON What? PETER Nothing. Ahem. Mom thinks he's single. JASON How would Mom know that? PETER I don't know, maybe it's just a Mom skill. She does it with. PETER women for me, you know. I mean, now. JASON Hmm. Well, Sam and I haven't talked about that sort of thing. I'm just helping him with the kids for a couple days while he's here, and that's it. PETER Right. PETER Mom said he lives in Manhattan. Not too far away from you, if you wanted to date. JASON Who said anything about dating? PETER Do you? JASON I just came for paint. PETER Oh, come on! PETER So do you want to date him? JASON What I want is to start a family, and not Sam's thing. PETER I thought you didn't talk about that. JASON Not with Sam. JASON Kathleen had mentioned when I first moved back to Brayden, about maybe setting me and Sam up. PETER Well, that sounds promising. JASON Yeah. Until I told her. JASON that I wanted to start a family, and then she said Sam and I wouldn't be a good fit. JASON Apparently, he's kind of a permanent bachelor. JASON and not the settling-down-and-starting-a-family kinda guy. PETER Maybe. Or maybe you let him tell you that, one way or the other. PETER I mean, i-if you're interested. JASON Mm-hmm. SAM Okay, let's restart with. SAM the opening paragraph, okay? MILES 'Kay. "Many of you know of the man we call Santa Claus. MILES but today you're going to hear about how he came to be." SAM Okay. I'm gonna stop you right there. SAM Uh, we'll do it again, but first things first-- SAM let's do posture, okay? SAM Uh, stand straight. Okay. Very good. Shoulders back. Feet planted! SAM Head up. SAM Now you. SAM look confident! MILES But I'm not. SAM But you. SAM look confident-- and that is half the battle. Bookmark that for the rest of your life-- it's useful. SAM See, posture helps with your breathing. SAM which helps your voice, which we want to make larger, not louder. SAM Okay? So, one comes from the throat, one comes from the chest. SAM We want to talk down here in our chest. SAM We don't want to be up here in our throat. MILES This is a lot. SAM It's standing, breathing, and talking. SAM You're doing all three right now. MILES You learned all this just by doing some plays when you were my age? SAM No. I actually took some speech classes in college. I was shy back then. MILES You were? SAM I was! SAM Teenage years are not easy on anybody. SAM but I promise you. SAM it does get better. SAM Little things that you're doing along the way-- SAM like this play-- they all help. SAM There we go! All right! SAM Let's do this. Ready? In three. two, one-- action! MILES "Many of you know of the man we call Santa Claus, but today you're going to hear about how he came to be." SAM Okay, this time, let's try breathing and talking-- same time. MILES What? SAM Looks like I'm an uncle again! JASON Congratulations. SAM When can you get home? We're gonna video call with Kathleen and Nate soon. JASON I'm on my way. SAM Hello, hello, hello! Oh, you're so. SAM cute! Look at her! MILES What's her name? NATE Uh, we're still working on that. DANIA Are you going to be back in time for Christmas? NATE Uh, we're gonna do our best. NATE honey, yeah. It's snowing very hard outside, though. DANIA But you promised. KATHLEEN We did. and we're gonna be there. JASON Can your sedan handle traveling in so much snow? NATE I'm not sure. DANIA What about an airplane? KATHLEEN We can't take your. KATHLEEN sister on an airplane, sweetie. She's just too young. SAM Have you asked Dad for help? SAM His cabin's less than an hour from Buffalo and he's got that huge. SAM Suv You guys could drive together to be safe. KATHLEEN Dad would be great, if we could reach him, but. KATHLEEN he has no cell reception and he never answers the landline. SAM What about Mr. Biddle? SAM He's a neighbor closer to town. Mom calls him to drive up to Dad's place to tell him to call her all the time. KATHLEEN But Mom's in Italy. I guess I could try to get her attention to get Mr. Biddle's number? SAM I have his number. KATHLEEN You do? SAM Yeah. I went fishing there every summer with. SAM Dad till I was 16. JASON You fished? SAM Weird, right? NATE That's a good idea. KATHLEEN That's a really good idea, Sam. KATHLEEN Did you see the look in Dania's eyes? KATHLEEN If we're not back in time for Christmas, she will never forgive us. NATE Sam will reach your dad, then he'll drive lead for us. NATE and we'll make it home in time for Christmas. NATE We have to be safe about it. Right? SAM Thank you so much, Mr. Biddle. It's really important that I talk to Dad. SAM Oh, no. Stavros. SAM What was that? Oh, yeah, it has been a while since I've been fishing. Uh-huh. This summer? Okay. Um, maybe we can do that. We can come up with Dad, go to the cabin-- it'll be a whole thing. Yep! Yes! Thank you-- thank you so much! Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. SAM Oh! Nice work. JASON Ah, thanks. JASON I always find painting to be soothing. SAM Can I help? JASON You might get paint on your nice sweater. SAM Oh. a-ha. SAM So. SAM I changed my departure to Christmas Day. SAM a-after the presents from Santa have been opened. SAM of course. I mean, even if they do make it back in time for the play, they're going to be wiped out. JASON Makes sense. SAM Oh. And Kathleen wanted me to wrap some presents, so I'm gonna do that while you and Miles. SAM are at rehearsal. JASON And what about Dania? She'll be around. SAM Right! I'm still getting used to this whole sneaky-parent behavior thing. JASON You missed a spot. SAM Yes, dear. JASON I can help you. JASON Wrap the presents, if you like. SAM When? JASON After rehearsal. Maybe you and Dania can come, too. JASON and then, afterwards, we can wrap the presents when they're asleep. JASON I have to earn my. JASON "uncle consultant" keep, after all. SAM So, the. retainer fee was for the adoption lawyer, huh? JASON Yeah, the same as Kathleen and Nate's. JASON They're helping me through the process. SAM It's a big step-- SAM being a single parent. I mean, I'm exhausted just co-uncling with you. JASON And now you sound like everyone else I know. especially the guys I used to date back in Los Angeles. SAM Was it bad? JASON Not bad so much as just disheartening. JASON You know, I'd date a guy for a while, and then. JASON as soon as it got to the. "Oh, you're serious about having the family?" thing. JASON they just ghosted. JASON The last guy went to the bathroom and he just never came back. SAM Seriously? JASON Yeah. So, I paid the check and then started making plans to move home to Brayden. SAM Well. I would never do that to you. JASON You know, at least pay the check. SAM Right? EDDIE Hey. JASON Hey. How'd it go? EDDIE Better? And then Arabella came on stage with Decklan, and Miles got off-track. JASON Well, we still have a day. EDDIE It's a Christmas play in a community theater. Nobody's expecting Shakespeare. EDDIE except maybe a couple of parents. My goal is for the kids to learn and have fun. It doesn't. EDDIE seem like Miles is having any fun. JASON Yeah. EDDIE I mean, if need be, I can read the narrator's-- JASON No. That would embarrass Miles even more. Look, brother favor? Don't decide yet. Sam and I'll see what we can do. EDDIE Sure. SAM Hold this. I'll be right back. SAM Dad! Hey! FRANK Hey! Bert Biddle came up to my place today to tell me that my family was looking for me? FRANK Is everything okay? SAM Yes, actually. The news is all good. You're a grandpa again! FRANK From you? SAM What? No. Dad, come on. FRANK Right? I mean, that's why I was confused! SAM It's Kathleen and Nate. Remember the baby that was supposed to come New Year's Day? Well. SAM she came early and they're stuck in a. SAM snowstorm and it's gonna-- You know what? Let me back up to the part where you get the chance to save Christmas. JINGLE BELLS PLAYS Jingle bells Jingle bells Jingle all the way What fun. JASON Thank you. SAM Boop! JINGLE BELLS PLAYS it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh JASON Thank you. JINGLE BELLS PLAYS Jingle bells JINGLE BELLS PLAYS Jingle bells Jingle all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh SAM I think it looks cute. SAM Oh, okay. So. how are we gonna wrap that? JASON Lotta tape, my friend. JINGLE BELLS PLAYS Dashin' through the snow. SAM Okay! JINGLE BELLS PLAYS in a. JINGLE BELLS PLAYS one-horse open sleigh O'er the fields we go SAM Okay. SAM No, not this way. JINGLE BELLS PLAYS Laughing all the way JINGLE BELLS PLAYS Bells on bobtails ring JASON Nope, that's. JINGLE BELLS PLAYS Making spirits. JINGLE BELLS PLAYS bright What fun. SAM Oh. okay. JINGLE BELLS PLAYS it is to ride and sing SAM Okay. JINGLE BELLS PLAYS a sleighing song tonight Jingle bells Jingle. SAM around. Okay. JINGLE BELLS PLAYS bells Jingle all the. SAM That's a disaster. JINGLE BELLS PLAYS way Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse. JASON No, it's perfect. SAM It's so bad. JINGLE BELLS PLAYS open sleigh Jingle bells Jingle bells Jingle all. JASON So, what do you want to do? JINGLE BELLS PLAYS the way JASON About Miles? JINGLE BELLS PLAYS Oh, what fun. JINGLE BELLS PLAYS it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh SAM I can talk to him tomorrow. SAM You know, see if I can come up with any. SAM techniques that'll help him focus. JASON I can watch Dania. JASON while you do, maybe I can finally get her to make the Christmas stocking. SAM About that. I feel like I'm taking advantage of you. JASON What do you mean? SAM O-Our original deal was for a couple. SAM of days, at most. We're headed into day four, if you count you watching them before I arrived. JASON I don't. SAM But I do. The nursery's almost done. You must have other things you have to do. JASON It slows down around the holidays. Besides, I'd feel like I was quitting in the middle if I left now. JASON But don't consider it part of, you know. JASON the payment. SAM Of course, I'd consider it part of the payment. SAM I'm not gonna take. SAM advantage of your kindness. DANIA Uncle Sam? SAM Hey! What are you doing up? DANIA Can we talk? SAM Okay. SAM Knock-knock. Can I come in? DANIA Yeah. SAM What's going on? DANIA I miss Mom and Dad. What if they don't make it back here for Christmas? SAM Well, you know, they're doing everything in their power to make it back here in time, but they gotta be safe about it. DANIA I know. It's just. I wish they hadn't gone away in the first place. SAM You know. I'm a little bit older than your mom. and, so, I got to be an only child for a while, and I have to say. I really liked it. Like, a lot. SAM Then, one day. SAM my mom and dad told me that I was gonna be a big brother. SAM and I didn't like that. DANIA You didn't like Mom? SAM No, it wasn't. SAM your mom. It was the fact that I wasn't gonna be the only one anymore. I was scared my parents wouldn't. SAM love me the same. DANIA Did they? SAM They did. Just the same. SAM And you having a little sister isn't gonna change how your parents feel about you, or Miles. SAM They will always love you. because you. SAM are you. DANIA You really think so? SAM I know so. DANIA Thanks, Uncle. DANIA Sam. SAM Now you need to get some sleep. One Day Until CHRISTMAS MILES Whoa. JASON Did you order all this in? SAM No! SAM Made freshly, by yours truly. SAM With plenty of vegan options for. SAM milady. DANIA Thanks! JASON You cooked with fire? SAM Okay, now you make me sound. SAM like a caveman, which I strangely like. SAM But yes, I cooked with. SAM fire, and yes, the place. SAM is still standing. Feel free to put. SAM that in your Brayden gossip-group chat. What? SAM Thank you! Thank you! SAM Thank you! Thank you! Come on, eat, eat, before it gets cold. JINGLE BELLS PLAYS Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way SAM Come on! Up, milady, I'll push you in. JINGLE BELLS PLAYS Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh JINGLE BELLS PLAYS Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all. KATHLEEN Where's Dad? NATE Maybe he's out of cell range? JINGLE BELLS PLAYS the way KATHLEEN We're in upstate New York, not the North Pole. JINGLE BELLS PLAYS Oh, what fun. JINGLE BELLS PLAYS it is to ride. NATE That'll be room service. JINGLE BELLS PLAYS in a one-horse open. KATHLEEN Dad! FRANK Hi! Sam says I'm a grandpa again? NATE Yes, you are. FRANK Oh, my goodness. Oh. well done. NATE It's your grandpa. It's your grandpa. JASON Hey. Uh, I'm gonna take Murph for a walk and then get ready for tonight. And there's this. SAM This? JASON It's an early Christmas present. SAM Really? JASON Worth it to see that expression right there. Uh, there's more. JASON I figured you'd want something for tonight and. I thought that color would look really good on you. SAM Thank you. It's perfect. JASON Okay. Well. JASON see you later. SAM There you are! DANIA I wanted to get it. DANIA done before Santa shows up. SAM "Baby. SAM Sister". DANIA Since we don't know her name. I'll make another one for her next year. SAM What? DANIA You need one, too. SAM Thank you. We'll hang 'em up when we get back from the play tonight. JASON Is everyone ready? DANIA Ready! MILES Ready. SAM Ready. JASON Then let's go. SAM Come on. SAM Here! JASON Got it. JASON There? SAM There. SAM Jason? JASON Backup? SAM Backup. MARILYN So many! Hoo-hoo-hoo! SAM Oh. Yeah. Kathleen and Nate are delayed because of the snow, so she texted me to make sure I capture everything. MARILYN Oh, well, I'm glad you're here for this. SAM Me too. Although, I might be a little bit more nervous than Miles at this point. SAM It's close. MARILYN Oh, well. MARILYN it doesn't get easier and I've seen dozens of these. Though. MARILYN Arabella. MARILYN says Miles is wonderful. SAM She did? MARILYN Probably helps that she has a little. MARILYN crush on him. SAM She does? MARILYN That's why she wanted him to be in the play. MARILYN though she's too shy to admit it. Grandmas. MARILYN know things. SAM They do. Will you excuse me for a moment? MARILYN Of course. MILES "Santa stacked six singing snowmen in his sonic sleigh." SAM Miles! MILES What? SAM She likes you! MILES What? SAM Arabella! SAM She likes you. SAM not-- not "Decker." MILES Decklan. SAM Whatever! I heard it straight from her grandma's mouth. She likes you, dude! MILES Wow! Now I'm more nervous. SAM What? No, no, no, buddy! This is your chance to shine. SAM You got this! SAM Let me hear you say it, okay? MILES I got this. SAM "I got this!" MILES I got this. SAM "I got this!" MILES I got this! SAM "I got this!" EDDIE Shh! SAM Good luck! SAM I knew it! EDDIE Hi, everybody. Merry. EDDIE Christmas! You can go ahead and grab your seats now. EDDIE We'd like to thank you all for coming out tonight and welcome you to The Life. EDDIE and Adventures of Santa Claus! EDDIE No, no, no, no. MILES Good evening and Merry Christmas Eve. MILES Many of you know of the man we call Santa Claus. MILES But today you're going to hear about how he came to be. MILES Once upon a time. MILES there was a mighty forest, and in that forest there was a baby who was all alone and needed to find a family to care for him and to love him. MILES and be there for him, always. MILES And although there are many more children than there used to be. MILES Santa Claus never complains. For, to him. MILES there is nothing as beautiful as a happy child. MILES Merry Christmas! SAM Yes! SAM Yes! SAM Let's go, Miles! MARILYN Whoo! PETER Yeah! SAM Way to go, Miles! JASON Yeah! EDDIE Miles! EDDIE Oh! Great job! EDDIE Ha! MILES Thank you. ARABELLA See, Uncle Eddie? ARABELLA I knew Miles could do it. MARILYN Your parents. MARILYN are gonna love the footage your uncle got for you. MARILYN Do you have plans for Christmas brunch? SAM I do. I'm actually gonna be on a plane to Honolulu. SAM tomorrow afternoon. MARILYN You're missing. MARILYN Christmas? JASON Christmas happens. JASON in Hawaii, Mom. MARILYN I-- I know, I know. I just thought that it would be nice to have the family over, since. MARILYN Kathleen and Nate will likely be very tired after driving all that way-- MARILYN and with a tiny baby. PETER DeVito Christmas brunch is not to be missed. MARILYN The whole family is there. SAM All of 'em? ALL All of them! SAM That is a very generous offer and I will definitely pass it along to Kathleen and Nate when they get back. MILES I vote "yes". SAM Sure you do! SAM Anyway. SAM we have to get home because someone has to help hang stockings for Santa Claus. DANIA You really were good tonight, Miles. DANIA You didn't even mess up! MILES Thanks, D. JASON You know your parents would've been at the play if they could. MILES I know. SAM Your mom texted that they'd stop for the night to be safe, if they had to. DANIA They can't go too fast because they have the new baby. SAM That's right. SAM As amazing as you were tonight, Miles, you both. SAM need to get some sleep because tomorrow is a very special day. DANIA Goodnight! MILES Goodnight. SAM Good job! JASON What time is your flight tomorrow? SAM Uh, 2:00. SAM But I gotta take the train to JFK, so I'll probably leave Brayden around 11. JASON That's barely time for brunch. SAM Clearly, I didn't plan this through. JASON You know. there's something about a quiet house on Christmas Eve. I used to always love. SAM It's the anticipation. SAM So much is about to happen. SAM Our family isn't big on traditions, but. one thing that we do on Christmas Eve that I loved is we turn off all the lights in the house, except for the ones on the tree. SAM And then we listen to "Silent Night" and just. SAM be present. JASON All is calm JASON All. is bright SAM They're home. SAM Hey. SAM Dad! FRANK My boy! SAM Hi! KATHLEEN Thank you! SAM Of course! That's what big brothers are for. SAM Oh. my gosh! NATE Here she is. SAM So cute! Come on! Come on! SAM I always forget how tiny they are. KATHLEEN Well, she'll probably. KATHLEEN be in college by the next time you come visit, so. SAM Oh, I'm impressed. you got a dig in, in the first five minutes. Well done. KATHLEEN You know I'm skilled like that. SAM What if I. stayed here for Christmas? KATHLEEN Are you serious? SAM Only if that's cool with you. KATHLEEN You know I'm cool with it. What made you change your mind? SAM A lot of things. KATHLEEN Jason? KATHLEEN I can't thank you enough. KATHLEEN You're the best contractor in the world. and a great friend. JASON Glad to. JASON help. And it was a real education. KATHLEEN I hope it didn't. KATHLEEN scare you off of having kids. JASON Just the opposite. KATHLEEN Well, you're gonna be a great dad. SAM I second that. JASON I hope so. KATHLEEN All right. KATHLEEN well, I am gonna go get her settled and. KATHLEEN I will see you later. KATHLEEN and I will talk to you soon. KATHLEEN Okay, bye. JASON I had a lot of fun. SAM So did I. It was nothing like how I thought it. SAM would go. JASON It's a really good thing you had an uncle consultant. SAM Right? Right. Um, I almost forgot to give you this. SAM There you go. JASON Oh. SAM It should cover the retainer fee, and then some. JASON This is way too generous. SAM Well, I couldn't have done it without you. JASON I bet you could have. eventually. NATE Hey, Sam? NATE Could you, uh, uh. show Frank to the guest bedroom? NATE I'm gonna go help settle the baby with Kathleen. SAM Yeah, sure. NATE Okay. Thanks. JASON So I think I'm gonna take off. JASON It was nice getting to know you, Sam Dalton. SAM That sounds strangely final. JASON No. The deal is done, and the check is paid. JASON As agreed, so. JASON Merry Christmas. FRANK These cookies are great! FRANK You didn't make them, did you? SAM No, they were a gift. FRANK Huh! Well. they're fantastic. SAM Morning! MILES Get up! It's Christmas! SAM Ah! DANIA Whoo-hoo! DANIA Come on, Miles! MILES I'm coming! MILES Awesome! MILES What'd you get? DANIA A unicorn. SAM Psst! Hey. SAM look. DANIA Baby! MILES Cool! KATHLEEN Merry Christmas. KATHLEEN my loves. DANIA Mom! Dad! Grandpa! NATE Hey! Aw! We missed you. MILES You made it! NATE so much. KATHLEEN I'm sorry we missed your play. NATE Hey. MILES It's okay. Uncle Sam recorded it. SAM He did great. MILES Uncle Sam helped me a lot. DANIA What's her name? KATHLEEN Well. KATHLEEN we thought, since-- NATE Well, since she's a Christmas baby, we'd name her something after the season. KATHLEEN Miles, Dania-- KATHLEEN meet your baby sister-- Angelica. KATHLEEN Samantha. KATHLEEN Walker. SAM No. SAM I'm gonna be all puffy for the Christmas photos! KATHLEEN Well, you're gonna have plenty of time to recover for photos. KATHLEEN because Uncle Sam is spending all of Christmas with us. MILES Awesome! DANIA Amazing! SAM Thank you. SAM Uh, you know what? Right there. Stop. SAM Okay, ready? Pose! DANIA Here! You have to see what Santa brought you. SAM Oh! SAM Just what I always wanted. Thank you so much. KATHLEEN You okay? SAM Huh? SAM Yeah. I'm gonna get breakfast started. Does anybody have any requests? FRANK I'd love some pancakes. KATHLEEN I'll go. KATHLEEN Mm. Tell me about Jason. SAM I like him, sis. Like. I really like him. KATHLEEN Yeah. I kinda sensed that. SAM But. something went wrong. I don't know what. He gave me back the check that I gave him last night. KATHLEEN Why did you give him a check? SAM It. was part of our agreement, for him helping me. I know that he needed it for his adoption lawyer. Th-That's why I gave him more, so that way, he'd have plenty to cover it. And he's. he's gone so far and beyond, helping me. KATHLEEN And you really like him and wanted to help him in return? SAM Did I do something wrong? KATHLEEN I don't think so. KATHLEEN Maybe. he originally agreed to be paid to help you, and then things changed. and it didn't feel right taking the money anymore? KATHLEEN What? SAM I'm. I'm scared. SAM I don't know if I can be what Jason needs. And his needs are very clear. KATHLEEN You don't think you could ever be open to having a family? SAM It's really hard to explain. See. you've known your whole life that marriage and kids were at least an option. SAM That hasn't been my. SAM experience. Most of the time, I'm told no. KATHLEEN Well, not by Mom and Dad. SAM No. I'm really lucky there. But legally, and perception-wise, you know, I've faced a whole lot of "Uh-uh. Not. SAM you." And. SAM yeah, it's different. to a degree. but my internal voice is still catching up. SAM I think that's why I run. SAM and never make it to a second date. It's. hard to flip the switch to "yes". KATHLEEN Do you think you want to? With Jason? SAM All I know is, for the first time in my whole life, I'm thinking "maybe". KATHLEEN I know. SONG PLAYS Another year over It's another one gone SONG PLAYS It's time to reflect upon All said and done SONG PLAYS I'll be missing you, darling This Christmas. SONG PLAYS day SONG PLAYS I wish I were close to you SONG PLAYS But I'm miles away SONG PLAYS For me, Christmas is nothing SONG PLAYS Without you to. SONG PLAYS hold KATHLEEN Wow! This looks amazing. KATHLEEN Are you sure you didn't call a caterer? SAM "Are you sure you didn't call a caterer?" KATHLEEN So, are you gonna invite Jason? NATE Would you look. NATE what my fantasy football league sent over. to celebrate. NATE baby Angie's first Christmas? Hmm. We'll, uh. NATE We'll, uh, we’ll raise a toast later. Mm. KATHLEEN Why are you staring at the champagne? SAM I'm gonna tell Jason how I feel. KATHLEEN Amazing. I'm so proud of you. KATHLEEN So. why are you. KATHLEEN staring at the champagne? SAM I told my friend. SAM Ellie that big deals should be celebrated. SAM and this. SAM is a really big deal. KATHLEEN You're still in your Christmas pajamas! JASON I like Sam. But I need someone who puts his family first, not flies to Hawaii on Christmas. PETER Excuse me. PETER but from what you told me, didn't he drop everything to take care of his niece and nephew? I mean, that's pretty much the definition of. PETER putting family first, isn't it? JASON For a couple of days. I need someone for the long haul, Pete. PETER Buddy, there's no guarantees in life. How'd you leave it? JASON Well, he paid me for our time together, and that tells me what he thinks. PETER So he followed through on paying you what you agreed to? JASON Felt transactional. PETER Because it was a transaction, not a declaration! PETER Look, here's what I know, okay? Sam is the first guy in a long time to make you look really happy. JASON I suppose I can call him after Christmas. PETER Yeah, yeah. PETER I mean, unless he meets somebody while he's away. alone in paradise. JASON I didn't think about that! Should I call him now? PETER Train station's 10 minutes away-- go in person. PETER Jase? Take care of that. PETER Go get him! SAM I don't know what I'm doing. KATHLEEN You're risking your heart. SAM Is it always this terrifying? KATHLEEN Yep! I hate to tell ya. but it is. SAM Oh. I love you. KATHLEEN I love you, too. Mm! KATHLEEN Now. go get your guy. Go! SAM Right! SONG PLAYS You know it's drivin' me crazy Just bein' away from you SAM Ooh! SONG PLAYS It's getting colder, baby I don't want. PETER He's at his house! SONG PLAYS no winter blues PETER Get him! SONG PLAYS Yeah, I know we've been. SONG PLAYS here before SAM Right. SONG PLAYS You've been all alone When the first snow falls PETER Guys! PETER He's going to his house! SONG PLAYS This time I'm. SONG PLAYS telling you I'll be there for Christmas SONG PLAYS Ooh SONG PLAYS Baby, we JASON Whoa! JASON Sam? SAM Hey. SAM I'm sorry I gave you that check. JASON No, I was being too sensitive. SAM No. SAM We had an agreement, but. things changed. JASON Yeah, I don't care about the agreement. You're what's important to me and that's what I was coming to tell you before you left for Hawaii. SAM I'm not going to Hawaii. Wonderful state, can't wait to visit, but. SAM what I want is here. SAM You're what's important to me, too. SAM I-I should've said this to you last night, but seeing you leave-- it threw me off. SAM Pretending to have a husband and kids and a dog and even a mini van, i-it's not something I ever saw for myself. or even thought that I could have. SAM And I know we were in a kind of our own little bubble, but. SAM I really liked that bubble. A lot. JASON Me too. SAM It felt right. You felt right. SAM You feel right! More than any other guy I've ever met in my whole life. SAM And I can't make "forever" a guarantee, I know that. SAM but I think that there might be a way-- SAM Do you want to have lunch with my family for Christmas? JASON Yes, I do. And then do you want to have Christmas dinner with mine? SAM Sounds perfect. Merry Christmas. JASON Merry Christmas. SONG PLAYS Get under the. SONG PLAYS mistletoe when it starts to snow SONG PLAYS Honey, I'm. SONG PLAYS coming home This time I promise you I'll be there for Christmas SONG PLAYS Ooh-ooh-ooh Baby, I'll be there for Christmas