ANNIE BARRY CAPTAIN_LAFREY CHECKER DEB EDDIE HEAD JERMAINE JULIA LEROY MAN MAX ROSE WOMAN


CHECKER
I may be in trouble. If anything happens to me, find Detective Leroy Wright and Dr. Max Jennifer. They can help.
MAX
Hey, uh, excuse me. If you're really into the mechanics of unmanned space flight, I'd go with the one on the right.
JULIA
Oh. It's a gift for my husband. Always tough picking out.
MAX
Oh, yeah, I know how that goes.
JULIA
You married?
MAX
Yeah. Or no. Sort of.
JULIA
Oh, are you going through a divorce?
MAX
No, no, no, no, nothing like that. God, how awkward would that be? No, uh, she was abducted by aliens.
JULIA
Sweetie.
MAX
Okay, I know what you're thinking. I am not crazy. Actually, I was a professor at Stanford.
JULIA
Put down. Time to go. Yup.
MAX
Astrophysics. That is a cute child.
JULIA
Okay. Let's go look at it in my car.
MAX
You know, even if I was crazy, it doesn't mean you can't buy the book for your husband. They're unrelated.
LEROY
Listen here, Jermaine, your dad and I spent 15 years together on the LAPD before I started working at this disgusting mall, and he always told me his dream was for you to go to college. So...
ROSE
Aww.
JERMAINE
Sat prep course? Dude, I'm 12.
ROSE
Jermaine, say thank you. That was very kind.
JERMAINE
Thank you.
LEROY
Turn to page six, you little bitch.
JERMAINE
There's a video game
LEROY
Be quiet. Now, when you get to level 18, give me a call, 'cause there's some tricky stuff I got to walk you through. And if I hear that you haven't been studying, I'm-a come see you, and it's not gonna be pretty. Do you understand?
JERMAINE
Yes, sir. I understand you, sir.
LEROY
Good, becau. Oh, Eddie! Come on, man!
EDDIE
What's up, Leroy?
LEROY
Other crazy people got to drink out of there! At least aim it! I got to mop that up. Excuse me. Pee in the damn fountain.
MAX
Oh, cool, you're awake. What's up? How's it going? I'm-I'm Max. What's your name?
LEROY
Leroy.
MAX
Leroy. Hi. I've been awake for a few minutes, taking-taking stock of our situation here. It appears we're-we're in the back of some sort of van.
LEROY
I see that.
MAX
What do we do? You have your uniform on. What do we do?
LEROY
First thing to do is remain calm.
MAX
What do we do, man?
LEROY
Don't yell at me, okay?
MAX
I'm not yelling at you. I'm not.
LEROY
Well, you just kind of yelled at me.
MAX
Well, okay. I'm sorry.
LEROY
"What do we do, man?" Yeah, that was yelling.
MAX
I apologize.
BARRY
Oh, dear. You're not supposed to be awake yet.
LEROY
Who the hell are you?
MAX
Why did you take us?
BARRY
I'm Barry. I'm your kidnapper. And I work for a top secret government agency. And, unfortunately, that's all I can say about that. That's not very fair, is it? I work for the Bureau Underground. We investigate the paranormal and anything outside the scientific realm.
LEROY
Is this a hidden camera show? Where's Alex Trebek?
MAX
Wait, did Alex Trebek have a hidden camera show? How did I miss that?
BARRY
Oh! Looks like we've arrived.
MAX
What.
LEROY
Stay away from me! Stay.
MAX
Oh, my God!
LEROY
What are you gonna. No!
LEROY
What the hell?
MAX
Where are we?
ANNIE
And who are we? And what do we want? I'm sure you must have a million questions that I'm not gonna answer. Straighten your leg.
MAX
Wh-What are you doing?
ANNIE
I'm measuring in case I need to build you body armor. Or a coffin. Probably just body armor. They're awake!
CAPTAIN LAFREY
How are they?
ANNIE
Not great.
CAPTAIN LAFREY
Gentlemen, I will keep this brief. I am Captain LaFrey, and this is the Bureau Underground. Two days ago, one of our finest agents, Mike Checker, disappeared. That same day, he sent us this.
CHECKER
I may be in trouble. If anything happens to me, find Detective Leroy Wright and Dr. Max Jennifer. They can help.
CAPTAIN LAFREY
Checker thought that you can help, and I hope like hell you can. Here's my offer, one mission, two days. Are you in?
LEROY
Hell no.
MAX
Yeah, I'm sorry, but why would we help you?
CAPTAIN LAFREY
You were a brilliant astrophysicist, but Stanford, they called you crazy. Well, guess what, I think they're wrong. I can help you clear your name and get your job back, Professor.
MAX
Okay, I'm in.
LEROY
Are you kidding?
MAX
What?
LEROY
I've never seen this Checker before in my life.
MAX
Yeah, but he asked for us specifically.
LEROY
They kidnapped us!
MAX
Okay.
LEROY
What do you care what I do?

MAX
I'm just concerned that this might be, like, a package deal-type thing. I'm getting the vibe it's, like, a package deal-type thing or.
LEROY
I have to go. I have things to do.
CAPTAIN LAFREY
Like what?
LEROY
Like meet up with my boys. We meet at the Panera Bread every morning and discuss world affairs. And I'm kind of like the unofficial leader. Unless Jerry's there. Then it gets all weird, 'cause they're not really into him like that. He's so aggressive.
MAX
Right.
CAPTAIN LAFREY
Well, that is incredibly sad, Leroy, especially since you were the best missing persons detective the LAPD ever had. Tell you what, you help me find Checker, I'll get you back on the Force. The Bureau Underground was created under the Truman administration to protect humanity from paranormal forces that threaten our existence. Extraterrestrials, poltergeists, cryptids.
LEROY
Have y'all seen a yeti?
CAPTAIN LAFREY
Yes. Our field agents are equipped with the latest in weapons technology thanks to Annie Carver, our weapons and tech expert. Unidentifiable evidence is handled by Dr. Barry Shaw. If you ever tell anyone of our existence, we will do everything in our power to make sure no one believes a word you say ever again. Let's get to work. Agent Checker kept us largely in the dark on his last investigation, but we believe that it had something to do with travel through the multiverse.
MAX
The multiverse? I literally wrote the book on the multiverse.
CAPTAIN LAFREY
I know. He didn't ask for you 'cause he liked your smile.
MAX
Hold on. You mean. So this is real? I was right?
LEROY
Okay, ding-dong! Ding-dong! If I'm gonna do this, let's bring it back to Earth for a second. Where was Checker last seen? Did you go to his house? You talk to his wife?
CAPTAIN LAFREY
Checker never married, no close relatives, and his apartment was clean.
LEROY
Do you have access to his cell phone location records? Cross-reference the cell phone data with the location of his credit card charges. Lay those two maps on top of one another. What do we got?
ANNIE
Looks like a gas station and a storage facility.
LEROY
Bingo. Checker had a storage space. Did you know about that?
CAPTAIN LAFREY
No. Start there. See what you find. Good luck. You have 48 hours.
LEROY
Cool.
MAX
Ooh, is that from right now, or when we got kidnapped, or?
ANNIE
Leave.
MAX
I know. That's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.
MAX
You know, at MIT, it was just, you know, "Max Jennifer Academic Superstar. Blah, blah, blah." You know? I was Inside, I was still just this angry teenager.
MAX
Okay, I'm yammering. Uh, what about you? W-What's it like being a detective? Is it cool or is it weird?
LEROY
Bring me a higher love.
MAX
Hey, what happened with you and the LAPD?
LEROY
Bring me a higher love
Oh, uh.
MAX
Nothing happened with you and the LAPD.
LEROY
Higher love
MAX
Okay, great.
LEROY
Higher love.
MAX
What happened with you and the LAP.
LEROY

MAX
What happened with you and the LAPD?! What happened?
LEROY
Higher love!
MAX
Hey! Listen, man. You have a beautiful voice, okay? There, I said it. But if we're gonna be partners, we're gonna have to open up to each other and have a conversation at some point.
LEROY
Number one, we are not partners. Number two.
MAX
What are you doing?
LEROY
Get out.
MAX
What?
LEROY
Go ahead. Get out. The yellow brick road ends here, Toto.
MAX
Are you serious?
LEROY
Yeah.
MAX
You want me to get out the car.
LEROY
I want you to get out of the car. Take care.
MAX
Listen, Leroy, The past couple years, I have lost everything, and everyone, good in my life, 'cause they all think I'm nuts. Okay? So I need this. Please.
LEROY
Fine.
LEROY
What freaky stuff are you hiding in here, Checker? Books.
MAX
Oh, my God, Leroy. This is crazy. Checker was reading my book. How cool is that?
LEROY
Oh.
MAX
Should I sign it?
LEROY
You should totally sign it, yeah.
MAX
Right? He's clearly a fan. 
LEROY
Shh. I'm trying to think.
MAX
All right. Time for clues.
LEROY
"Are you in the dark?"
MAX
What are you doing? 
LEROY 
Damn. What is this?
MAX
Whoa.
LEROY
It all leads to Waterbridge nuclear power plant. What the hell?
MAX
Max Jennifer, Ph.
LEROY
Let's go.
MAX
Yeah. Okay.
CAPTAIN LAFREY
Annie hacked the perimeter security feed at Waterbridge nuclear power plant. Turns out Checker was working undercover there before he disappeared.
ANNIE
Affirmative.
CAPTAIN LAFREY
We need you to get inside that reactor and find out what Checker was doing.
MAX
Well, how are we gonna do that? Those places are guarded with, like, small armies.
CAPTAIN LAFREY
Stand by, gentlemen.
DEB
Hi. Yeah, the printer is jammed.
BARRY
Well, isn't that just the worst. I'm gonna send over two of my best guys.
LEROY
Just be quiet and follow my lead.
MAX
Uh, I did a little improv in college, okay? I think I'm good.
LEROY
We'll take it from here.
DEB
Oh, actually, if you could show me how to fix it, that'd be great. These things jam all the time.
MAX
Just gonna set down my tools.
DEB
Oh.
LEROY
And this will probably be a-a while, so you might want to...
DEB
Oh, that's okay. I'm not busy.
LEROY
All right. Uh, Max, you-you want to show her how to fix it?
MAX
Sure, David. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. This is one of those, uh- This is a copy machine.
DEB
Uh-huh.
MAX
I'm, uh, more of a fax machine guy. "Max the Fax Machine Guy." If-if my name was Max, that's what it would be. But my name is. S-Steve.
DEB
Okay. Well, Steve,
MAX
Nice to meet you. Yeah.
DEB
Uh, that's actually a fax machine; it's both.
MAX
This is both of those things.
LEROY
Two in one.
MAX
Yeah, sure. So since this is a-a-an all-in-one wrap-around, I think that's more your specialty.
LEROY
Well, I mean, since I'm your boss, maybe you should just go ahead and do it.
MAX
All right, but right before this, I talked to Sanchez. He promoted me. I'm in charge now.
DEB
Congrats.
LEROY
Well, that's interesting, 'cause Sanchez got fired. That's enough back talk, bro!
DEB
Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna go.
MAX
No. I want you to see this.
LEROY
Why? She doesn't need to.
MAX
 You will show me the respect I've earned.
DEB
Yeah, I can't be here for this.
MAX
And scene. That was great. Did you feel that? Could you feel it?
LEROY
Watch your face.
MAX
What does that mean?
LEROY
Let's go. Let's go.
MAX
Wait. You're not joking? Whoa. What do I do? Like, uh, scan the perimeter?
LEROY
Try being quiet.
MAX
Okay.
LEROY
Look.
MAX
That's weird. That looks like a magnetic coil. What's it doing here?
LEROY
Get a pic; let's go.
MAX
Yeah, yeah. You're right. Uh.
LEROY
How do you focus this thing? It's so blurry.
MAX

MAN
You're not supposed to be here.
LEROY
You're right.
MAX
Let's go! Let's go!
ANNIE
Guys, stay calm, everything is gonna be just fine, probably.
LEROY
We're in the reactor room of building C. Security's tracking us. We need a way out now.
ANNIE
There's a door in the northwest corner. See it?
LEROY
Negative, negative! We can't go that way. What else you got?
ANNIE
Oh, oh. Is everything okay? Get down to the lower level.
BARRY
Hang in there, chaps. I'm thinking of you. Oh, God.
MAX
I can't believe you let me come with you.
LEROY
ou begged me, remember? Leroy, please, I need this. Everybody hates me. I'm a loser.
ANNIE
All right, bottom floor. To your right there is an exit. I'm gonna try and open it.
MAX
They have guns and bullets and we are frightened.
ANNIE
I'm sorry. Sorry, I hear that. I hear the guns. I'm so sorry.
MAX
I repeat. We are very, very frightened.
LEROY
Come on, man. Let's go!
CAPTAIN LAFREY
Annie, come on. Get them out of there.
ANNIE
Hold on. Almost there. Got it. 
MAX
Okay, the magnetic coil at the power plant was illegally syphoning electricity, which means there has to be a second coil somewhere receiving it.
ANNIE
But what do they need all that power for?
MAX
I bet Checker knew and they got him.
CAPTAIN LAFREY
Annie, see if there are any large-scale deviations in the magnetic field. We find that second coil.
LEROY
We find Checker.
MAX
Yes.
BARRY
Meanwhile, how are you guys doing, huh? I know getting shot at can be stressful. Can I get you anything?
LEROY
Yes. I'll take a PB and J.
BARRY
Good. Yes.
LEROY
No crusts, extra "J."
BARRY
Yes.
LEROY
No PB.
ANNIE
Captain, large-scale disturbance in the magnetic field downtown.
CAPTAIN LAFREY
Okay. This is it. This is it. Go. Go, you guys. Get downtown. It's Checker.
LEROY
We getting paid for this?
CAPTAIN LAFREY
Quickly.
MAX
Come on, Leroy.
MAX
So, in the multiverse, there's another universe exactly like ours. So there's another me, there's another you, but that Max and Leroy probably don't even know each other, right?
LEROY
What about Kevin Spacey?
MAX
Kevin Spacey.
LEROY
Is there another Kevin Spacey?
MAX
Well, yeah, sure. Really good example, of course there is.
LEROY
I think we got the best Kevin Spacey.
MAX
Yeah. Well, I mean, s.
LEROY
Keyser Söze.
MAX
I'm sorry?
LEROY
Keyser Söze.
MAX
But actually, what I was kind of getting at was if it is possible to travel through the multiverse, like Checker asserts, then we are open to attack from anywhere.
LEROY
I got a question.
MAX
Yeah.
LEROY
What happened with your wife?
MAX
Well, you know what happened; I told you, she was abducted.
LEROY
But the night she disappeared, what happened?
MAX
She, uh- You know, we were just at home. Um, we'd had a small fight. Actually, not that small. Um, and she was, you know, she was just like packing a bag.
LEROY
She was packing after a fight?
MAX
Yeah, Leroy. People do all kinds of things when they get abducted. They're riding a bike-- Bam, you're abducted. I mean, that's.
LEROY
Your wife left you, Max.
MAX
No, she did not.
LEROY
I've seen it a thousand times. She's probably on a beach in the Bahamas with Kevin Spacey.
MAX
No. No, she wouldn't do that to me. Look do you think that I haven't questioned my own sanity, Leroy? I do, all the time. But I have faith that I'm not crazy.
LEROY
Well, I don't.
MAX
What are you doing? What's going on? Leroy.
LEROY
You're staying here 'cause you're certifiably nuts, and you might get me killed.
MAX
No, no. Leroy. Wait. Thank you.
LEROY
No. Forgot my Fitbit. Got to get my steps in.
MAX
What? Leroy! Leroy! This is a real bummer, man! Oh! Leroy! Leroy! Leroy! Whoa, whoa! Whoa!
LEROY
Come on, Checker, where are you?
MAX

LEROY
Max?
MAX
What the hell, man! I could have died in there! What is wrong with you?
LEROY
Aw, somebody need a hug?
MAX
Everything's a joke for you. You know? 
LEROY
Want to go to an independent coffeehouse and talk it out?
MAX
What happened with you in the LAPD, anyway?
LEROY
Don't go that way.
MAX
Let me guess, you did something psychotic. Am I getting warmer?
LEROY
Leave it alone.
MAX
Why don't you tell me, then, what happened with you and the LAPD?
LEROY
I got my partner killed! I made the call to go in without backup, he followed and got shot. Is that what you want to hear?
MAX
Not really. I mean, that's an incredibly sad story. I'm so sorry.
LEROY
I locked you in the car. 'cause I didn't want it to happen again.
MAX
That's a very thoughtful thing to do, as it turns out. And if you don't mind, I'd like to take you up on that hug you offered earlier. I know you were kidding, but check this out. Yeah, there you go. There we go. Yeah. See? Whoa! That's-that's the thing that attacked the car. Checker might be in there.
LEROY
Stay your skinny ass behind me.
MAX
Okay.
LEROY
Something's going on over there.
MAX
My God, this is so scary.
LEROY
Hey. Lift me up. I'm gonna peek through the vent.
MAX
Yeah, okay. Or-or just, like, for logistical reasons, maybe we do that the other way around?
LEROY
Why?
MAX
Um no. Yeah, no, you're right.
LEROY
I'm just messing with you, dude. Come on.
MAX
Thank God. Okay.
LEROY
Okay.
MAX
Checker. They got Checker.
LEROY
You see Checker?
MAX
Yeah.
LEROY
Nice.
MAX
Oh, you got to let me down. Oh, my God.
LEROY
What happened?
MAX
Oh, my God. Remember the big guy? The big guy from the the power plant?
LEROY
Yeah.
MAX
He's in there. He took his own head off, and he just, like, set it on a table.
LEROY
Hey, when I left you back at the car
MAX
Yeah?
LEROY
did you get super high? 'Cause you sound stupid.
MAX
Oh, I sound stupid. Really?
LEROY
You sound stupid.
MAX
See for yourself. Oh, my God.
LEROY
Come on.
MAX
Right? Listen to me, we have to distract him. We have to get that big guy out of there so we can go in and get Checker.
LEROY
Yeah.
LEROY
Good, good, that's good. Okay, you go in and grab the head. When he follows you out, I'll stay back and get Checker.
MAX
Or, just, like, as a different idea, you go in there and you get the head.
LEROY
What, you're scared of heads? It's okay, we're all scared of something, you know? I'm scared of ducks.
MAX
You're scared of ducks? Well, you.
LEROY
I don't trust them. You know what, don't even talk about 'em, don't even talk about 'em.
MAX
Fine. I mean, what-what am I thinking? I'm not gonna go in and get the head?
LEROY
You got to go get the head.
MAX
Of course. Yeah.
MAX
Hey, what's up?
HEAD

MAX
Abort!
LEROY

MAX

HEAD

LEROY
What the hell is this thing? Shut it up.
MAX
Um, excuse me, sir? Hi. I-I'm gonna need you to be quiet.
HEAD

MAX
Sir, I don't want to have to ask you again. Shut up.
LEROY
Shut up. I swear, I'll do it.
MAX
No, let's be nice, let's be nice. He bit me. He bit me.
LEROY
Shh, shh. Shut up.
MAX
He's biting me. He's biting. It hurts. All right, listen. Aah! Oh!
LEROY
You okay?
MAX
Yeah.
LEROY
Come on. We got to get to Checker before he does.
MAX
Yeah. He's gone.
LEROY
The roof.
MAX
Checker! Checker. It's real. It's all real.
LEROY
Hey! Don't move.
MAN
Uh, please don't hurt me.
LEROY
Who are you? And who put your head back on?
MAN
I didn't. I-I don't remember anything.
MAX
They took Checker up up in the spaceship.
LEROY
Spaceship?
MAX
Oh, come on, you didn't just see that?
LEROY
You sure you not high?
MAX
Okay, so he said that something was controlling his body, right? So my theory is, is that the light was some sort of extraterrestrial or multidimensional life force that had taken over his body.
LEROY
Why was the head yelling? The head should not have been yelling.
MAX
That is a good question.
CAPTAIN LAFREY
And one that we intend to answer. I'm kind of sorry to see you both go. But a deal is a deal. Leroy, we're gonna get you back on at the LAPD. And, Max, Stanford is a no-go, but good news is we got you reinstated at the bookstore.
MAX
Whoa, whoa. Hold on. No, no, no. No. Our mission isn't over. Look, I just found out that everything I was called crazy for believing is real. We can do something about this.
LEROY
I want to find this dude. I mean, we were right there.
MAX
Yeah.
CAPTAIN LAFREY
All right. All right. Gentlemen, welcome to the Bureau Underground.
MAX
What? Congrats, man. Wow!
LEROY
Congrats to you, partner.
MAX
Okay, you just called me part.
LEROY
Shwaa!
BARRY
I, uh, I just heard the good news, huh? Congratulations. Nice to have a couple of dudes in the old henhouse. Huh.
ANNIE
Yeah, he doesn't have a lot of male friends, or any friends at all.
MAX
What's going on over there?
BARRY
Oh, uh, that's just a group of people we've been monitoring who have a remarkably similar abduction story to your big man today.
MAX
Oh, my God.
LEROY
What? 
MAX
That's my wife.
WOMAN