BETTY CONSTABLE CUSHLA CUSHLA_LAVERY DAVY EAMONN GERRY GINA HOTEL_STAFF JIM JIMMY MANDY MICHAEL
MICHAEL_AGNEW OLD PENNY PRINCIPAL PRIVATE RADIO SEARCH SERGEANT TOMMY VICTOR

EAMONN LAVERY:
The Anchor.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Hello, it�s me.
EAMONN LAVERY:
Okay.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I feel bad. Put me down for some shifts.
EAMONN LAVERY:
You�re like a yo-yo. How many?
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Four.
EAMONN LAVERY:
Four?  Jesus, you do feel bad. I need you tomorrow.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Okay, see you then.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Michael
TOMMY:
No, it�s Tommy. You said I could call.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Yeah, of course. Um, how are you?
TOMMY:
Alright. Mommy said, she wants to give you your dish back from the pie.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Uh, it�s no rush. Um, how�s your daddy?
TOMMY:
Can�t wipe his own arse.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Yeah, it�s a hard time for you�s all. It�s desperate.
TOMMY:
Ai, and it won�t change if I don�t do something.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Just not something stupid, Tommy.
TOMMY:
Do you know what? You�re right. I�m just a stupid something kid.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
That�s not what I meant, I meant.
GINA LAVERY:
You need to mind that fella. He�s at a very bad age.
BARRY:
The identity of the IRA gunman who shot magistrate and former barrister Martin McBirney, last September is still unknown.
MINTY:
Throw on the footie, Eamonn.
BARRY:
Witnesses took to the stand yesterday as McBirney�s.
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Jamieson, please.
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Thank you.
MICHAEL AGNEW:
I have a flat in Belfast I use when I�m in court.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Good for you.
MICHAEL AGNEW:
It�s good for us.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
That remains to be seen.
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Come tonight.
MICHAEL AGNEW:
It�s yourself.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
It�s me.
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Do you want a night cap?
CUSHLA LAVERY:
No.
MICHAEL AGNEW:
What about.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I�m on the pill for my skin.
MICHAEL AGNEW:
I am all for skin. Aaaah!
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Mmm!
GINA LAVERY:
Where have you been all night?
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I had car trouble, so I stayed with Gerry.
GINA LAVERY:
Oh ho! Car trouble! You and Gerry must think I�m some fool.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Are you sniffing me?!
GINA LAVERY:
You�ll get a reputation!
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Oh my God!
GINA LAVERY:
Lose your job. Or worse. Have a wee baby with a ring shoved on your finger. (upset) You wouldn�t be carrying on like this if your daddy were still alive. He�ll be rolling over in his grave
MICHAEL AGNEW:
I�ll take us somewhere no-one�ll see us. Come tonight. I�m all for skin.
SOLDIER:
This is a control zone, you�ll need to move on, now.  
WOMAN:
I told you to stay in the car! 
OLD MAN:
I�ve a stick of dynamite in my underpants, darlin�. 
SEARCH OFFICER:
Catch yourself on, big lad. 
GRANNY:
If he�s anything like my husband, he�ll have them off in five minutes. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Well worth a month�s wages then. 
GRANNY:
MICHAEL AGNEW:
So, it�s true then. Catholic girls are nymphomaniacs. And they have scaly backs. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Are you saying I�m bogging? 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Filthy. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Mm. Well, you smell like scallions. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Patrol car. They like to let me know they know where I am. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Who is Siobh�n de Buitl�ir? 
MICHAEL AGNEW:   
I�ve been swotting up since our last lesson.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Is your week busy? 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Always.  
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I�m free Easter Monday. After my shift.
MICHAEL AGNEW:
I�m afraid I�m not.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I�d better go. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
I think about you all the time. D�ya ever spare a thought for this poor auld lad? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Mm. I�ve got better things to be thinking about, Michael Agnew, than dirty auld men. 
DAVY MCGEOWN:
Mingin� jam sandwiches again. The wee pips stick in my teeth. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
PRINCIPAL BRADLEY:
In!
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I know. Look, I�m just giving the child a lift, with everything that�s happening at home. Do you think he could get free school dinners?
PRINCIPAL BRADLEY:
It�s too much. Sitting with him at break. The lifts. Now dinners?! It�s up to Mrs McGeown to feed her children. If she can�t do that, she shouldn�t have had them. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Betty does feed them, she�s just struggling. 
PRINCIPAL BRADLEY:
Betty?!
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I meant Mrs McGeown! 
PRINCIPAL BRADLEY:
Stay away from the McGeowns. 
SEAN:
A 22-year-old man was shot dead in an ongoing feud between the INLA and the Official IRA. 
BRID:
The Protestant Action Force shot two men in a bar up in New Lodge. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Okay. Well, what about some good news? Like, who is number one in the charts? 
DAVY MCGEOWN:
My Daddy�s getting better. He can nearly light his own fag now. 
FIDEL:
How�s about you, Cushla? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I�m good thanks, Fidel. This is wee Davy McGeown. I believe your friends are acquainted with his Daddy. 
FIDEL:
I�m sorry to hear about your Da, wee man. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I�m sure his Daddy will be delighted to know that you were concerned, but erm, no Easter eggs this year cause he�s not working. 
FIDEL:
My Ma got in too many, and they�ll not shift now. 
DAVY MCGEOWN:
Thanks, Mister! 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Okay, let�s go. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Maybe Tommy�ll go back next year. 
BETTY MCGEOWN:
Nah, he�s over sixteen. He can do what he likes. He�s hardly here anymore. Knocking about with his cousins. Bad news, them boys. Here, bring this up to him. Try and talk a bit of sense into him. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Yeah. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I come bearing gifts. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
G�won. You�re never too old for a creme egg. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
So, you�re leaving school?
CUSHLA LAVERY:
You�re so close to the end, Tommy. Would you not just suffer it out for the next few weeks? Sit the exams at least. 
TOMMY MCGEOWN:
Daddy�s sitting down there with a bag of piss strapped to his leg. He�ll not work again. School is a luxury I can�t afford. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Yeah, but if you get a couple of A levels you can earn a bit of money, go to university. Have some real prospects.
TOMMY MCGEOWN:
What prospects would they be? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I hope the peelers catch whoever did this soon. 
TOMMY MCGEOWN:
Yeah, well, they�d best find them before I do. 
EAMONN LAVERY:
Go and say happy Easter to your granny. 
NICOLA:
Okay. 
GINA LAVERY:
Marian�s put on a quare lot of weight. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
You can�t help yourself, can you? 
NICOLA:
Granny!
GINA LAVERY:
Hi. Give me a wee kiss.
NICOLA:
Happy Easter, Granny.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Hello girls! You look beautiful! 
EMMA:
Good to see ya, Granny. 
EAMONN LAVERY:
Look who we brought. 
GINA LAVERY:
Go watch TV. 
MARIAN:
Hi. Ooh! 
CUSHLA LAVERY/EAMONN LAVERY:
Happy Easter.
EAMONN LAVERY:
Happy Easter, Cushla. Happy Easter, Ma. 
MARIAN:
Love your hair! Makes you look older. Really lovely! 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Aww. 
GINA LAVERY:
Nice. Oh!
MARIAN:
We brought you, er, some Easter.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I actually got some, so you can take it home. 
GINA LAVERY:
Ah, give it here, Eamonn. I�ll bring you a wee bickie.
GINA LAVERY:
Are we all out of knives? 
EAMONN LAVERY:
To Daddy. Second Easter without him. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
To Daddy. 
GINA LAVERY:
God rest his soul. 
EAMONN LAVERY:
Tuck in. 
GINA LAVERY:
Oh, Jesus!
CUSHLA LAVERY:
What? I, I�ve rubbed it in garlic.
GINA LAVERY:
Aye, sure you did. 
EAMONN LAVERY:
I�ll stink like a Froggie for the day. 
GINA LAVERY:
Should I fry up a wee bit of bacon? 
MARIAN:
It�s delicious, Cushla. 
NICOLA:
I don�t like it Mummy. 
EAMONN LAVERY:
Just eat your potatoes. 
EMMA:
I like it!
EMMA:
Go on, Nicola! Wait for me!
EAMONN LAVERY:
Girls, where are going? 
GINA LAVERY:
Let them go. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Hello? 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
I just wanted to say happy Easter. And hear your voice. I can�t stop thinking about you. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I spared you a wee thought last night. As I was lying in bed. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Oh yeah? I thought about you first thing this morning when I woke up.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
When can I see you again? 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
I�m working on it. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Well, work harder. I can�t wait. 
MICHAEL�S SON:
Dad?!
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Sorry, I have to go. 
GINA LAVERY:
Who was it? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Gerry.  
EAMONN LAVERY:
Who�s Gerry? 
MARIAN:
Someone special? 
GINA LAVERY:
The wee teacher she�s been staying out all night with. 
EAMONN LAVERY:
What�s going on? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Nothing. 
EAMONN LAVERY:
There�d better not be. What about your job?
MARIAN:
Leave her alone! She�s a single girl.
EAMONN LAVERY:
And she�ll bloody stay single as well, giving it away for nothing. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I have no privacy! 
EAMONN LAVERY:
Do yous hear her? 
GINA LAVERY:
Aye. 
MARIAN:
We have some news! 
MARIAN:
Well, I should let you tell them, Eamonn. 
GINA LAVERY:
I think we�ve guessed. When? 
EAMONN LAVERY:
End of July.  Or.?
MARIAN:
Yeah. August. 
GINA LAVERY:
Five months gone. Five months. 
EAMONN LAVERY:
Alright, come on, girls. Let�s go. 
MARIAN:
Eamonn.
EAMONN LAVERY:
Don�t rise to her. 
GINA LAVERY:
They�re on their way to the golf club. I know they are. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Is it any wonder they left? 
GINA LAVERY:
Her Ma was probably told the moment our Eamonn pulled out of her. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
That�s disgusting. And why did you tell them about me? I�m a grown woman who�s entitled to a private life! 
GINA LAVERY:
Don�t be so childish.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Me? Childish? Sure, you�re the one who has to be put to bed night after night. 
MANDY MCGEOWN:
Thanks, Miss Lavery. 
DAVY MCGEOWN:
That�s wheeker.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
He�s a geg. 
MANDY MCGEOWN:
Daddy�s gonna love this lamb. 
BETTY MCGEOWN:
At least you all got together. Neither of our families would have us. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
That�s their loss, Betty. Oh. I hope you love it as much as I did. 
TOMMY MCGEOWN:
Thanks. 
BETTY MCGEOWN:
Mandy, take this through to Daddy. 
DAVY MCGEOWN:
Can we have our eggs from the man now? 
BETTY MCGEOWN:
Well, you can really thank Miss Lavery for them.
DAVY MCGEOWN:
Thanks, Miss Lavery.
BETTY MCGEOWN:
Here you go. 
BETTY MCGEOWN:
You�ve been awful good to us this last while. I just want you to know that me and Seamus, we really appreciate it. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Ah, it�s.
EAMONN LAVERY:
That garlic�s been repeating on me since yesterday. (exhales)
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Er, Seamie McGeown said thank you very much for the Easter eggs. 
EAMONN LAVERY:
Wise up, wee girl. You can�t just say what you want anymore.  Do you want to get us burnt out? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I want his people to know what they�ve done! You should see the state of Seamie, Eamonn. He�s a mess.
EAMONN LAVERY:
You�ve been to their house? 
MARIAN:
Is it bogging? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
No! It�s immaculate. It�s the people throwing dog shite at their washing line that are bogging. 
EAMONN LAVERY:
Just keep your oar out.
JIMMY MCKENNA:
Your Honour. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Jimmy. 
EAMONN LAVERY:
Alright, Jimmy. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Here, I�ve managed to wrangle a couple of hours free. You�re finishing soon, right?
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I�m going to the pictures.
MICHAEL AGNEW:
With who? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
With Gerry. 
EAMONN LAVERY:
Finger out, Princess.
PRIVATE JONES:
Nice blouse, mate!  
EAMONN LAVERY:
Is that the boy who had you out all night? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Ha! Er, Eamonn, this is Gerry. Gerry, this is my brother, Eamonn. Gerry�s a Leeds supporter.
GERRY HARKIN:
Is that a good thing here? 
EAMONN LAVERY:
It gets you get a drink on the house. What�s your poison? 
GERRY HARKIN:
A pint of, er, your best! 
EAMONN LAVERY:
Barcelona chances? 
GERRY  
I think we�ll do them, you know.
EAMONN LAVERY:
Decent bloke. Pity about the blouse. Go round to him, I�ll get this. Go. 
GERRY HARKIN:
Well, how�s about you? 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Hello again. 
GERRY HARKIN:
We�re going to see Cabaret. Lavery�s not seen it yet. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Is that so? 
GERRY HARKIN:
Alright. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
He�s rather taken with you. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Are you serious? 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
I appear to be jealous, which is, er, not... not a helpful development. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Yeah, well, I never know where you are or what you�re doing. So I won�t be getting myself to a nunnery anytime soon. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Wait, hold on. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Here. You can phone me at the flat. Anytime. I�m sorry that things aren�t different. 
GERRY HARKIN:
Eamonn said I rang you during dinner yesterday. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
You did. 
GERRY HARKIN:
I said I did, but did I? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
You did.
GERRY HARKIN:
You owe me, Lavery. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I don�t owe you a quick feel. 
GERRY HARKIN:
You should be so lucky. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
RADIO REPORTER:
How do you respond to the criticisms that you�re blatantly encouraging terrorism by representing members of the IRA?
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Let me be clear. I am defending Conor Kelly, Michael McAleavey and Patrick Coyle because they are not members of the IRA. 
GINA LAVERY:
Cheeky. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
They are, however, like most Catholic youths in Belfast, in danger of being recruited. They�ve no work or future prospects open to them, and if they get into trouble, they�ve no hope of justice and they know it. 
GINA LAVERY:
That case�ll burn anyone who goes near it.
MICHAEL AGNEW:
They have nothing to lose.
GINA LAVERY:
Fair play to him, no-one else is speaking up for those boys. His poor wife though. As if life with him wasn�t hard enough. Joanna Butler.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Who�s Siobh�n de Buitl�ir? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Do you know her? 
GINA LAVERY:
Aye, I know of her. They were talking in the hairdressers. She wouldn�t be one for circulation, if you know what I mean.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
No, I don�t know what you mean. 
GINA LAVERY:
The nerves, I told you before. And the drink. Any wonder, a string of affairs and now this carry on. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Affairs? 
GINA LAVERY:
Aye. Women go silly for him, and he doesn�t deny himself. His wife would be the only one who doesn�t know. 
GINA LAVERY:
You planning on peeling that wee spud into oblivion? 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Hello? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I wanna see you. Now. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
My dear Mummy helped me figure out who Siobh�n de Buitl�ir is. Joanna Butler. Why did you not say when I asked? 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Because I keep all that separate. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
That�s very neat. Very Protestant. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Don�t. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Apparently I�m the only one that doesn�t know you�re a complete womaniser! 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
How little your friends must think of your wife that they scarcely bat an eyelid while you parade me around. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
My wife is no concern of yours and should not come between us. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
And your other women? Are they any concern of your poor wife?
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Do you really wanna have this conversation? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Then I would counter that this attack of conscience hasn�t been triggered by any concern for my wife�s dignity, but by the realisation that you�re not the only woman that I�ve been with outside of my marriage.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Fuck off!
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Cushla. Cushla!
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Excuse me. 
DAVY MCGEOWN:
What�s a Soldier Doll,�Miss? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Nothing. It�s not for today. 
SEAN:
A traitor. She sleeps with the enemy. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Sean! Not for class. 
SEAN:
They have to heat up the tar...
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Enough, Sean! 
SEAN:
That�s mine, Miss. I have to hang it back up, so my sister doesn�t get any ideas. Mummy says girls go silly for boys in uniform.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
After class. Let�s move on, please. 
DAVY MCGEOWN:
Miss.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
You too, Davy. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Art supplies away, please. 
GINA LAVERY:
Oh, I�m not a hundred percent today. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Well, you�re a hundred percent hungover. Big juicy eyeballs on you. 
GINA LAVERY:
You�re so spikey lately. I hope you�re not that mean to poor Gerry.  How about you? Maybe that�s why he�s not calling. 
COMMENTATOR:
And now entering the arena, you have the German shepherds of the Police... 
GINA LAVERY:
Are You A Love Addict? How To Stop Stifling Your Feelings And Become A Truly Sexual Woman.� Ha... Mother of God. Why do people waste their money on this shite?  
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Why do you steal it from the hairdressers? 
GINA LAVERY:
Are you a love addict then? You haven�t gone five feet from that phone in a week. Are you and Gerry fighting or what? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Hello? 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Don�t hang up. Can I talk to you? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Maybe. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
I want to make it right. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Are you in the pub? 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Aye, yeah. I came in looking for you. I can be there in five minutes. I couldn�t get away. And I thought you hated me. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Okay. 
GINA LAVERY:
Who was that? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Gerry. I�m gonna go and see him now. 
GINA LAVERY:
So, he�s forgiven you, has he? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I�ll cook later. 
GINA LAVERY:
Aye. Well, I�ll give myself a wee top up. Stave off the hunger!
SERGEANT REID:
No tears today, I hope? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Er, no. I was just catching up with a friend.
SERGEANT REID:
Oh, you�re popular tonight. Your mother just let in a young fella, presumably not for her. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Erm, must be the other school teacher. We�re planning a disco, so it�s all go. Night. 
SERGEANT REID:
Goodnight. 
GINA LAVERY:
Your wee man is in there.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Er. Communication breakdown. I must have gone to the wrong pub. Oh... Tommy. 
TOMMY MCGEOWN:
Expecting Michael? 
TOMMY MCGEOWN:
Relax. That time I phoned, you said �Michael?� 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Ah, yeah. Is everything okay at home? 
TOMMY MCGEOWN:
Aye, same. 
TOMMY MCGEOWN:
Oh... The best book I�ve ever read.  Dark like, but great. Keep �em coming. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
You know, book lovers like you should really stay in school, Tommy.
TOMMY MCGEOWN:
Erm. I�ll see you later, yeah? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Yeah, I�ll.. I�ll see you later. 
GERRY HARKIN:
Constable Peters, this is Cushla, the P4 teacher. 
CONSTABLE PETERS:
Miss Lavery. I drink in your pub the odd time. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Oh yeah? And will you be dancing?
CONSTABLE PETERS:
I have a few impressive moves. I might bust them out for you, if you�re lucky. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
It�s not me you�re trying to impress. 
CONSTABLE PETERS:
Isn�t it?
GERRY HARKIN:
Chatting up peelers. Risky. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
You�re just jealous! 
GERRY HARKIN:
If he was chocolate, he�d eat himself. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Gerry, I can�t dance! 
GERRY HARKIN:
Yeah, I can see that but I�m brilliant at it. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Gerry! 
GERRY HARKIN:
Disco Peeler can�t take his eyes off you. What have you done? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Guilty of being too attractive. 
GERRY HARKIN:
I mean it. He�s watching you. 
JIM SCOTT:
Here, did you see Penny�s got her own solo show next month? 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Well done you. 
PENNY SCOTT:
Thank you. Yeah. We�re going for salon style. Cluttered walls, a few new pieces of sculpture. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
That�s great. 
JIM SCOTT:
Come on in. 
PENNY SCOTT:
You should both come. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Thank you, Penny. 
PENNY SCOTT:
Go on in. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Old Nigel Prendergast? 
JIM SCOTT:
Yes. Potato nose? 
PENNY SCOTT:
Oh! 
JIM SCOTT:
That was his nickname. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Well, he appeared before the judge on a drink-driving charge and he refused to recognise the court. When he was asked to explain himself, he said, �Well, it�s been painted since the last time I was here�.
PENNY SCOTT:
Oh, my God!
JIM SCOTT:
Oh, he didn�t say that?! No, he didn�t! 
PENNY SCOTT:
Ridiculous! 
JANE:
I don�t get it. 
VICTOR MCINTYRE:
Bloody hell, Jane. Refusing to recognise the court! 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Like the IRA prisoners do. 
JANE:
Ah.
VICTOR MCINTYRE:
Gunmen and bombers thinking they�re being treated unfairly. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Well, being denied a jury is unfair. 
VICTOR MCINTYRE:
Well, listen, don�t get started on the Diplock courts, right? I�m trying to digest my food here. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
They would not be tolerated anywhere else in the UK. 
VICTOR MCINTYRE:
Kelly, McAleavey and Coyle murdered those RUC men. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Those boys were picked out of a line-up by a witness who could only be described as unreliable. 
VICTOR MCINTYRE:
Oh, good old Michael. Defending the indefensible.
PENNY SCOTT:
Cushla, why don�t you start, before these two do. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Yeah. Erm, I was thinking.
VICTOR MCINTYRE:
There are some words that I would like to know. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Fire away. 
VICTOR MCINTYRE:
Propaganda. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Bolscaireacht. 
VICTOR MCINTYRE:
Internment. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Imtheorannu.
VICTOR MCINTYRE:
Terrorist. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Sceimhlitheoir. 
PENNY SCOTT:
Just stop it! Please. 
PENNY SCOTT:
Why don�t we go back to, erm, where you left off last time. You were telling us how to make a noun slender. The masculine and feminine, remember?
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Okay. 
VICTOR MCINTYRE:
Friend of the lawyer? Is that feminine and slender? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Cara an dl�od�ra. It�s masculine, actually. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Are you alright tonight, Victor? 
VICTOR MCINTYRE:
I�m fine. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
That was fun. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Victor was goading me, not you. He�ll never forgive the IRA for Bloody Friday. He was one of the first journalists on the scene and. He smelled burnt flesh and saw body parts being shovelled into bin bags.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Jesus!
MICHAEL AGNEW:
His problem is with the IRA not with all Catholics. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
It was an interesting choice of words though. All associated with my lot. You can�t deny that I�m a source of ridicule to your friends. I�m the token Taig.
MICHAEL AGNEW:
I dislike that word. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
What do you prefer? RC? Fenian? Mick?
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Don�t be flippant. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
What, am I the first Taig? I bet you I am. Does it make you feel better that you�re doing it for community relations? 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Cushla, please. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I should have told him to fuck off, instead of sitting there like a good little native, letting him humiliate me. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Let�s go to Dublin for the weekend. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
What? Take the Taig to Taig-town, buy your wee bit on the side a big bun in Bewley�s? I�m being serious. I won�t be your dirty weekend, pretend to be your wife. Let�s just get back to the flat... 
[music plays]
CUSHLA LAVERY:
This music is full of want. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Mm. It�s like the Portuguese word, �saudade�, a deep yearning. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Saudade? You marley-mouthed pretentious fucker.  
MICHAEL AGNEW: 
Thank you. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Tell me, do the Clancy Brothers know that you stole their cardigan? 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
I wore this especially for you. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Mm. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
See you later. 
DAVY MCGEOWN:
Thanks, Miss Lavery! 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Here, Betty, Davy�s down for free school dinners.
BETTY MCGEOWN:
Go in, Davy. In. 
BETTY MCGEOWN:
Did you report me for not looking after the children? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
What do you mean? 
BETTY MCGEOWN:
I had a social worker here. Standing in my scullery. Opening my fridge. Asking where the kids sleep.
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Betty, I had no idea.  
BETTY MCGEOWN:
They said the school called. I am managing. (upset) I am doing my best. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I know. 
BETTY MCGEOWN:
We thought you were our friend. Stay away from us, Miss Lavery. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Betty.Betty, I had nothing to do with this! Look, I promise you. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Did you send a social worker up to the McGeowns?
PRINCIPAL BRADLEY:
You came to me with concerns regarding the McGeown child, which I recorded. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Yeah, I know I did, but I.
PRINCIPAL BRADLEY:
You said, and I quote: That woman is struggling. I am obliged, as Principal, to pass... 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Yes, I know, but I thought you�d feel sorry for her so Davy could get free school dinners.
PRINCIPAL BRADLEY:
So you lied?!
CUSHLA LAVERY:
No. No. She is struggling, but she�s a great mother. Okay. And I just, I just thought that she could use help. But you, you did this because she was a Protestant who dared marry a Catholic. 
PRINCIPAL BRADLEY:
I suggest you stop before you say something you regret! Or something the McGeowns regret! Now, can I help you with anything else?
CUSHLA LAVERY:
No. 
GINA LAVERY:
What�s wrong with your bake? Were you crying? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
The McGeowns hate me. Bradley called the social and Betty thinks it was me. 
GINA LAVERY:
Ah. But you told her it wasn�t?
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Actually can�t even talk about it right now. 
GINA LAVERY:
Ach, well. You go see what�s on the telly tonight. I�ll get steaks in. Make chips. 
GINA LAVERY:
Ah, you stay there. 
GINA LAVERY:
4-2-8-7-6. It�s that wee Gerry fella. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Away you go. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Hello? 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
 Does Gerry know your mother refers to him as �that wee fella�? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
It�s you. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
 Come tonight. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
I can�t. I�m knackered. I�ve had a bit of a weird day, so I just, I need a quiet night. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
 Bad weird? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Not great. I�ve nothing for you tonight. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
 Hey, that�s okay. Let me look after you.
CUSHLA LAVERY :
As if Betty hasn�t enough on her plate. I�ve just made it worse. 
MICHAEL AGNEW :
You were trying to help. It�s brave. 
CUSHLA LAVERY :
You can say I�m brave all you like, but I feel like Tommy. This place is so fuckin� unfair. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Yeah, I know. I�m seeing Tommy McGeown�s every day of the week in court. Nobody thanks you for trying to make it any fairer. Somebody called in a bomb threat to chambers today. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Who? 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Take your pick! I mean, this case is rattling all sides � high and low. My colleagues have just been added to that list, cos they had to stand in the pouring rain while the bomb squad checked the chambers.  
MICHAEL AGNEW:
God, I hate this place. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Let�s go to Dublin. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Yeah? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Yeah. But I won�t be Mrs Agnew!
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Er, Mr and Mrs Lavery. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Good night, sisters. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Ah, you just said, �Good night, sisters�, with no drawers on!   
CUSHLA LAVERY:
That�s what you�ve reduced me to!
MICHAEL AGNEW :
I�m glad I got to bring you here. There�s another jazz club we can go to next time. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Mm. You seem to know Dublin well. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
  I�m an all-Ireland sort of chap. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
As opposed to a united Ireland. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Not necessarily. I love Ireland. I just don�t think it�s worth killing anyone over it. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Saudade. Are we doomed to spend the rest of our lives yearning? 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
  It�s better than wanting nothing. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
I love you. Er. you�re supposed to say it back. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Another time. I�ve been doing all the running. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Ah. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Good morning. 
HOTEL STAFF MEMBER:
Now there you go. 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Thanks. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Who did you buy these for? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Ah, the missal and beads are for Davy. 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
�Whoever shall read this prayer, shall never die a sudden death, or be drowned, nor shall poison take effect on them; neither shall they fall into the hands of the enemy, or shall be burned in any fire, or shall be overpowered in battle.� Well, St Joseph has it all covered.  
CUSHLA LAVERY:
You�re making fun of me, but I got that for you. And the candle.
MICHAEL AGNEW:
�Say for nine mornings for anything you may desire. It has never been known to fail, so be sure you really want what you ask.� Ah, maybe there�s something in it. It�s telling you to be careful what you wish for. (inhales/exhales) 
MICHAEL AGNEW:
Are you happy? 
CUSHLA LAVERY:
Too happy.