GRAHAM JULIA LEAH MADDIE MRS_GOLDBERG MRS_HEMPSTED MRS_WESTWOOD MR_AND_MRS_WESTWOOD MR_GOLDBERG MR_HEMPSTED MR_WESTWOOD OWNER SALESGIRL SARAH SIRI TRICIA VASES ZACK GRAHAM Hi! Sorry, sorry. How late am I? LEAH Not late! I lied and said noon because the real time is. GRAHAM Good youre in charge of the schedule. Youve programmed me so well. LEAH Like my very own Tamagotchi. Look! You have to see this display. LEAH Theres a little train. Look at it! GRAHAM Uh huh. LEAH Its adorable! GRAHAM Youre adorable. LEAH What ? Its Christmas! And look at all the sparkly snow, and tiny lights everywhere? And the air is so leafy and smoky and crisp? LEAH Do it! Take a deep breath! GRAHAM Mmmm. GRAHAM Okay! Okay. I get it. Its the most wonderful time of the year. LEAH I guess Ive always been fascinated by it. Hanukkah is the best. Cannot be compared. And I guess Im the nosey neighbour looking into the next door garden. I just want to know more. Christmas seems. Magical. The lights, the carols, the tree. GRAHAM Its all of that and more. Lets go, Maddies always early. LEAH Im kind of nervous to meet her, even though Ive been texting with her for weeks. Is that crazy? GRAHAM Nah. Maddies fun. Youll like her. We fought like cats and dogs when we were little but now were pals. MADDIE Leah! Omg hi! LEAH Hi! You must be Maddie! GRAHAM Uh Yes. Maddie, this is Leah. Leah, my sister Maddie. MADDIE Obviously this is Leah! Shes even cuter in person than in pictures. LEAH Awww. Thank you! MADDIE No, thank YOU for setting this up. Graham is hopeless. MADDIE Im a hugger. LEAH Its so nice to meet you! MADDIE Okay, I ordered fish heads. How do we feel about that? LEAH I mean Ive never tried them before but it doesnt scare me. GRAHAM Nothing scares you. LEAH Not true, Im very scared of bees. MADDIE Im scared of bees! Twinsies. Okay, I know embarrassingly little about you because Ive just got back from traveling and Graham is a steel trap. But the internet tells me you made an app? For sustainable food delivery? LEAH VegFleet, yeah! A food delivery network that partners with ecofriendly restaurants and transport options. MADDIE So cool! Ok, enough about work, tell me the entire story of how you two met. Spare no detail. LEAH Oh, it was GRAHAM We sort of met at work. LEAH We actually met at drinks after GRAHAM But I already knew who she was. Id seen her in the rd floor kitchen. MADDIE What floor do you work on? GRAHAM Okay, six, but the third floor kitchen has one of those Italian latte machines ! LEAH Right. You were there for the latte machine. Anyway, we started hanging out, just as friends MADDIE But Graham was madly in love with you the whole time. GRAHAM I mean, obviously LEAH I couldnt tell! LEAH He was my adventure buddy. He came with me on all of my fun expeditions. The museum of Chinese antiquities, this cool Latvian fortune teller in Astoria, this Nepalese craft market GRAHAM And then on New Years Eve, we kissed. Finally. LEAH And then.we shared our locations. MADDIE Oh wow, this IS serious. MADDIE Has she met the parental units yet? LEAH Uh, no, not yet. MADDIE Graham, what are you waiting for? LEAH Its not Grahams fault. They keep making plans to come into the city, like to see friends or a show or something? But then they cancel at the last minute. The Westwood siblings exchange a brief, knowing look. MADDIE Yeah, that sounds familiar. LEAH I get it! Its a big trek. And theyre probably very busy people. I mean, my parents are both whirling dervishes, I could never maintain a schedule like theirs. MADDIE Do you see them a lot? LEAH I try to. Were going to see them later today, in fact. GRAHAM First night of Hanukkah. I cant wait. LEAH Im so excited your first Hanukkah! Now you can see my moms belief of if you arent going home with leftovers there isnt enough food in action! Maddie observes Graham wolfing down a spring roll. MADDIE You wanna save some room, maybe? GRAHAM Nah. I always have room. LEAH He has a hollow leg. Maddie smiles at Leah, but then out of the corner of her eye she notices someone walking into the restaurant. MADDIE Oh no. Dont look. Leah and Graham swivel to see what shes looking at. MADDIE I said dont look! GRAHAM You know the human brain can only respond to that phrase by looking! LEAH Who is it? MADDIE Ugh. Someone I dated junior year. GRAHAM The polo player? MADDIE It was water polo. But no, the one who was in the bluegrass band. GRAHAM Oh, Bluegrass Girl! I liked her! MADDIE Shhh! Things did not end well. LEAH Shes leaving. She left. MADDIE How did she look? LEAH Um, like lonely and unhappy. Maddie reaches over and squeezes Leahs hand. MADDIE Thank you. I feel seen. GRAHAM Leah? LEAH Graham. GRAHAM Would you like to come spend Christmas with my family? LEAH Are you serious right now? GRAHAM I am. LEAH Because dont play with me, Graham Westwood. Not about Christmas. GRAHAM Im absolutely serious. I think you would love it. And I love you. LEAH I love you! They kiss. Maddie sighs, basking in the fairy tale moment. MADDIE Leah, what have you done to my brother? Hes never expressed an outward emotion in his life and now kissing? In a restaurant? Im speechless! LEAH Will your parents be okay with it? MADDIE Sure! Of course! Theyre just GRAHAM Very Leah looks back and forth, waiting for an adjective. GRAHAM Theyre very specific. MADDIE Yes. Leahs brow furrows. LEAH Do you mean. particular? GRAHAM Sure. LEAH Idiosyncratic? GRAHAM Also good. Maddie smirks wryly, but Leah is undeterred. LEAH Im sure your parents are great. After all, they made you two! LEAH My mom wants us to pick up challah on our way to their house tonight. GRAHAM I thought Hanukkah was latkes? LEAH All Jewish holidays are everything. Except Yom Kippur which is nothing, and then everything. LEAH We rang the bell like three times! Why didnt you answer the door? MRS GOLDBERG What makes you think we can hear the doorbell? MR GOLDBERG Cookie, youre here! Just in time to shred more potatoes! My arm is going to fall off. LEAH Dad. Why do you do this to yourself? Use the food processor! MR GOLDBERG Thats cheating. Right, Graham? GRAHAM Absolutely. Couldnt agree more. MR GOLDBERG See? Graham understands the value of doing hard work by hand. GRAHAM He knows Im a software designer, right? Soft is in the name. LEAH Thank you for playing along. Is Sarah here? MRS GOLDBERG Yes she is, and she has some news! Off Leah, knowing what this probably means. LEAH Oh, Sare its just gorgeous. SARAH Isnt it? Zack did a great job. I may have dropped a subtle hint. ZACK Not that subtle. Sarah grins at him. Love you. SARAH Zack blows her a kiss and tucks back into his food. Leah waves at Graham, who has been set to work on the potatoes. LEAH Aw, look at Graham shredding potatoes by hand like a mensch. Hes the cutest. SARAH You think you and Graham are next? It would be so fun to be engaged together! Come on! Do it! Do it. LEAH Oh, were not. we havent. SARAH Its been a year. LEAH Almost a year. New Years Eve! SARAH And? You love him, he loves you, whats the holdup? LEAH Were kind of a weird match when you think about it. SARAH If by weird you mean perfect, then yes. Have you even talked about it? LEAH Like, obliquely. SARAH Okay. So. LEAH I havent even met his parents yet! Although. SARAH Like Christmas Christmas? LEAH Real, actual, snowcovered, mulled cider, stockings hung by the fireplace with care Christmas. SARAH What, Hanukkah isnt enough for you anymore? LEAH Of course it is. I love our traditions, I love our family, I just wanna see Christmas from the inside ya know? Like how weve seen it in the movies. SARAH Oh, I get that. White Christmas paints a real pretty picture. LEAH I think my true Christmas awakening was Miracle on th Street. SARAH When the postman comes in with all those letters to Santa? We sobbed! LEAH Or the airport scene in Love Actually? Ah! Graham doesnt like that movie, can you believe that? SARAH A travesty. Okay, lets focus. What are you gonna wear? LEAH I dont know! Christmas sweaters? Plaid? What do people wear for real Christmas? Antlers and a red nose? But Ill have to miss family dinner on Christmas Day at Egg Foo Yum. SARAH Egg Foo Yum isnt going anywhere. Whats important is that you finally get to have the Christmas of your dreams. And when Grahams family meets you, theyre going to fall instantly in love with you, just like Graham did! How could they not? Youre so cute and smart, and you know what? When youre around Graham, you have a glow. You cant see it, but I can. LEAH I need you to come Christmas outfit shopping with me. SARAH Wild horses couldnt stop me. MR GOLDBERG So the key is, you have to cook them very fast, otherwise the potatoes turn grey. GRAHAM Because of oxidation. MR GOLDBERG Yes! Exactly. Food is science! LEAH Mom, can I talk to you? MRS GOLDBERG Is everything okay? Are you sick? Did you lose your job? Is it bedbugs? Its bedbugs, isnt it. I knew it! I never liked that apartment building. Its very grungy! You can move back in with me and Daddy anytime. Are you running a fever? LEAH Im not sick and I dont have bedbugs. I just wanted to tell you that Graham invited me to come to his family for Christmas. MRS GOLDBERG So youre finally gonna meet the Mysterious Westwood Family? LEAH I guess so. MRS GOLDBERG This is big news. LEAH Youre not mad I wont be here for the holidays? MRS GOLDBERG Mad? Why would I be mad? Im not mad. I dont get mad! LEAH Youre mad. MRS GOLDBERG We dont celebrate Christmas. LEAH What about Egg Foo Yum? MRS GOLDBERG Im sure youll be having standing rib roast with little white paper booties and Yorkshire pudding and that thing with ladyfingers that Martha Stewart makes. LEAH Trifle. MRS GOLDBERG Exactly. LEAH The Westwoods live in Connecticut, not Downton Abbey. MRS GOLDBERG I know. Do you love him? LEAH I do. I want what you and dad have. She takes in the chaotic joy around her. LEAH I love him. MRS GOLDBERG Well, thats all that matters. LEAH I hope his family likes me. MRS GOLDBERG What are you talking about? Theyll love you! And if they dont, theyll have me to answer to. MRS GOLDBERG Latkes arent really latkes if you havent set off the smoke detector. LEAH Maimonides? MRS GOLDBERG Julia Child. GRAHAM Okay, taste test. Your dad made these. LEAH As Gail Simmons on Top Chef would say, these eat really well. This is a good fry on this latke. GRAHAM And these I made myself. She takes a bite and legitimately swoons. LEAH Now these are delicious. Perfection. You are Top Chef. What other hidden talents do you have that I dont know about? GRAHAM Thats the only one. Flipping latkes. Also applies to pancakes, French toast, grilled cheese. LEAH What were you and my dad talking about? GRAHAM Nosey. LEAH What? You were in, like, intense talks over there. New Philip Roth novel? GRAHAM Isnt Philip Roth dead? LEAH He is? Huh. So, what then? GRAHAM Oh, your dad was answering some questions I had about blintzes. LEAH Theyre not dinner, theyre not dessert, what are they? Did you see Sarahs ring? GRAHAM I didnt, but your mom told me they got engaged. Great news, right? LEAH Hes punching above his weight class, but shell never be bored. GRAHAM Hows the ring? LEAH A little gaudy. Nice. Very her. Are you sure about me spending Christmas with your folks? GRAHAM Of course! Are you sure? LEAH Well, your family cant be any nuttier than mine, right? GRAHAM Lets just say theyre very different from your family. LEAH Well, Im excited to meet them. LEAH Come in! Waitll you see what we got! LEAH Is this amazing or what? GRAHAM Its. something. LEAH I got you a matching one. GRAHAM Really. LEAH Well, you said everyone dresses up for Christmas at your parents place, so. GRAHAM Yeah. Its, actually kind of. fancy. LEAH Ill show you fancy. It turns on when you shake it. LEAH Wait, it plays music? Fantastic! GRAHAM Leah, listen. LEAH Theres gotta be a battery pack or something in here. LEAH I went overboard, didnt I? GRAHAM No, no! I love that youre bringing your A game to Christmas. I just wanna be sure that, you know Christmas with my family lives up to your expectations. LEAH I know it will! I just want to do Christmas right. GRAHAM Unlike app programming, you cant do Christmas right. LEAH I know, I know Im just so excited, not just to see a Christmas celebration, but to get to know more about you and where you come from. GRAHAM Okay then, why dont we start off with one of my Mothers favorite holiday traditions GRAHAM When we were kids, writing our letters to Santa was serious business, and its still something we do every year. Would you want to write one? LEAH Umm duh! What does one write in a letter to Santa? GRAHAM Well, you can write down anything youre wishing for. It could be big or small. No wrong answers. LEAH Hmmmm well, Ive got a great job, with an app that is doing super well, a wonderful partner who is smart, kind, And hunky, a family who is warm and wacky. what else could I need? GRAHAM Im sure theres something you can think of. GRAHAM Anyway, sleep on it and Ill get it to the big guy in red tomorrow. LEAH When you saw me across the room in the rd floor kitchen, did you ever think we would be here, deeply in love and sharing our families traditions like this? GRAHAM Only in my wildest dreams. LEAH And soon, we will be singing, eating and decorating, all while wearing matching, singing, lightup Christmas sweaters? How wild is Wait, should I have gotten one for Maddie? I can go back. GRAHAM Im sure she has lots of singing lightup Christmas sweaters of her own. LEAH Its gonna be great, right? GRAHAM Yes. But thats a tomorrow adventure. More important things to do first. LEAH Youre so right. LEAH Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, asher kidshanu bmitzvotav vtsivanu lhadlik ner shel Hanukkah. LEAH Anything I should know before meeting your parents? MADDIE You should know, our mom is the head of the Christmas Pageant Committee. GRAHAM Cohead. MADDIE Right. Cohead. LEAH Got it. Any other offlimits subjects to be aware of? MADDIE Just the usual: politics, culture, change, technology GRAHAM Sports. MADDIE Yeah, sports. Mom goes, like, dead behind the eyes. LEAH Copy. MADDIE Also dont tell them youre not going to business school next year even though you told them you would buckle down and get serious as soon as you finished your year backpacking around Asia. GRAHAM Wait, is that true? Youre not going to business school? MADDIE Some friends and I are starting an artisanal pickle company. Im gonna wait until Mom and Dad are in good moods, and then Ill tell them. GRAHAM In good moods at the same time? MADDIE I mean. ideally. Mom likes to talk about gardening. LEAH Right! Graham told me. GRAHAM I said she likes commenting on other peoples gardens. MADDIE Commenting? I think the word youre looking for is criticizing. LEAH Well, I brought her a Christmas tree ornament thats a little terrarium as a hostess gift. MADDIE Oh, shell love that! LEAH What does your dad like to talk about? MADDIE Apps. GRAHAM Apps. LEAH Like. appetizers? MADDIE No, like applications. Youll see. LEAH Does he know I design apps, like for my actual job? GRAHAM Im excited for you to tell him. GRAHAM Looks nice, huh? LEAH Its.its just beautiful, Graham. Is this even real? It looks like a postcard! MADDIE Oh, its real. I assure you. Very, very pretty on the outside. GRAHAM Very, very weird on the inside. MRS WESTWOOD Yoohoo! Over here! Hellooooo! Someone come help me bring up the ornament boxes! LEAH Ornament boxes ? Organization? Am I dreaming? GRAHAM This is gonna be okay, right? MADDIE Absolutely. LEAH Did you see this? Did you see? Look at the sheep! Or goats? They might be goats. Look at the tiny manger! GRAHAM Mom! This is Leah. LEAH Its nice to finally meet you, Mrs Westwood! Ive heard so much about you. MRS WESTWOOD Yes, yes! Welcome to our home! Were thrilled to have you! LEAH Thank you for including me in your holiday celebration, Im MRS WESTWOOD Gramlin, go put your bags down and then help me bring boxes into the living room. We have to have the big tree decorated before three oclock! Madeline, be a dear and bring in the box with all the Nutcracker ornaments, please. Mitchell! LEAH Gramlin? GRAHAM Like gremlin. LEAH Yeah, I got that. What happens at three oclock? GRAHAM Were about to find out. MADDIE Im going to put my stuff away. MR WESTWOOD Oh, hello there! GRAHAM Dad! This is my girlfriend, Leah Goldberg. Leah, this is my dad. MR WESTWOOD Welcome! I hear you two work together? LEAH Kinda, yeah. Hes in software design and Im in app development. MR WESTWOOD App development? Thats fantastic! Anything I would know? LEAH VegFleet? MR WESTWOOD Veg what? LEAH Fleet. Sustainable and efficient food delivery using biodiesel converted vehicles, partnered with ecoforward establishments. MR WESTWOOD I didnt understand a word you just said, but it sounds amazing. MR WESTWOOD Shes smarter than you, I can tell. Ya know, I have a couple ideas for you. LEAH I cant wait to hear them. GRAHAM Lots of time for that Dad. Lets get you settled. MRS WESTWOOD Apologies, Leah! My gift wrapping has overtaken the guest room! LEAH Its okay! Its wonderful! Its wonderful. GRAHAM Good luck finding the bed. LEAH How can I sleep? Its Christmas! LEAH Hey, we never stopped for lunch. Are you hungry? MRS WESTWOOD Where is everybody? GRAHAM We gotta go. MRS WESTWOOD Here is everyones schedule! LEAH This schedule is amazing, this is exactly how I would have done it. Decorate tree, dinner, dessert, gingerbread house contest tomorrow, building snowmen, Christmas Pageant. MRS WESTWOOD Im delighted you think so! And just so you know, we do things a little differently with regards to presents MADDIE We each do one present on Christmas Eve and then the rest on Christmas Day. MRS WESTWOOD Exactly. Its tradition. LEAH Oh.great. MR WESTWOOD You know what would be a really clever app? Leah looks at him expectantly. MR WESTWOOD An app that could go through the schedule and figure out when we should start saying goodbye to people at parties so that we can leave when were scheduled to leave and not stay an extra hour. MRS WESTWOOD Ha ha. Very funny. LEAH Well, thats could you maybe just set a timer? MRS WESTWOOD Ignore him, Leah. Weve been married for a hundred years and he still doesnt understand that I cant just walk out of a party. MADDIE Mom, theres no downtime in here. MRS WESTWOOD Well, thats just not true. Youll have eight hours to sleep at night! MADDIE Oh. Okay. MRS WESTWOOD Speaking of sleeping. GRAHAM Mom doesnt like us to rip the paper. LEAH I love them! MRS WESTWOOD Leah, I hope I got you the correct size. Graham was not very helpful. GRAHAM Mom! I said medium! LEAH Theyre perfect. Thank you! MRS WESTWOOD Youre quite welcome. We all wear them in the morning on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. All right, lets get started with the decorating! Kids, can you open these new hooks and untangle them? Leah opens a box full of sugarplum fairy ornaments. She holds one up and lets it spin from its golden thread. LEAH Ive had visions of you dancing in my head all week! MRS WESTWOOD Oh! I almost forgot. I also got us all personalized Santa hats for Snow Men making with the Hempsteds. Page on your schedules. Graham and Maddie sharing a look. LEAH Who are the Hempsteds? MRS WESTWOOD Dear, dear friends of ours. We have a snowman making exhibition every year. LEAH Well, I cant wait. Hopefully theres lots of snow! MRS WESTWOOD Awww. Heres The Bunny. MRS WESTWOOD Remember when Bunny gave me that bunny? That was so sweet. MADDIE Every year with the bunny. Its just an ornament, Mother. MRS WESTWOOD Its special! Leah leaps up LEAH Oh! I have something for you! MRS WESTWOOD Is this. mold? LEAH No, its moss! Its a terrarium. MRS WESTWOOD Oh! Yes. LEAH And look! Its actually an ornament so you can hang it on the tree. LEAH I mean you can decide where it should go. Obviously. Your tree! MADDIE I think its very cool, Mom. Like a little tiny hanging garden! MRS WESTWOOD Its very. unique. Thank you, Leah. LEAH Does she hate it? He shakes his head vigorously. GRAHAM She loves it. He makes the gesture for chefs kiss. Leah is not so sure. MR WESTWOOD You know what would be a really cool idea? If there was an app that helped you map out how to hang ornaments on the tree. MRS WESTWOOD How could an app do that any better than I can? Now, Leah, let me explain our ornament hanging system. MRS WESTWOOD Imagine the tree is divided into quadrants. Each quadrant should have an equal number of types of ornaments, hung at regular intervals. Like so. LEAH Uh, what time is dinner again? MRS WESTWOOD Check your schedule! Leah glances at Graham. He holds up six fingers. She nods, and tries to mask her disappointment. Mrs Westwood clocks this and goes to grab something off the table. MRS WESTWOOD Would you like an apple? LEAH Oh.um. I MRS WESTWOOD Or even better, how about some seaweed? LEAH Oh great, like sushi? MRS WESTWOOD I live off this stuff. LEAH Delicious. LEAH Nature calls! Restroom is where? MR WESTWOOD Around that corner to the right! SARAH Hey! Hows it going? Is it everything you hoped for? Is it like a real live Christmas Carol? Leah glances around. There are Christmas hand towels, a Frasier fir candle, Christmas toilet paper, and an Elf on the Shelf perched on the toilet tank. LEAH Its beyond. SARAH Does it smell like freshly cut pine trees and mulled wine like youre inside a Williams Sonoma? SARAH Is there spray snow on the windows? Does the little town look like Stars Hollow? With a gazebo? LEAH Yes. All of the above. MRS Westwood has a plan for everything. Its all so beautiful. Im in the powder room right now and they have Christmas toilet paper. A beat. SARAH Leah. What. SARAH Are you hiding in the powder room? LEAH No. Yes. No. Mrs Westwood didnt like my hostess gift. SARAH The terrarium? It was so cute! LEAH She looked at it like I gave her a bag of dirt. And also? This is so weird, but theres no food. SARAH What? Like just snackies and chips and stuff? LEAH Like nothing. Worse than nothing. There was an apple and seaweed! But no snackies! No chips! We got here at one, dinner isnt until six, and weve been decorating the tree the whole time and no one has put out a bowl of nuts or pretzels or anything. SARAH That is weird. When my roommate goes home for Christmas she says they just put on their sweats and eat for days straight. LEAH Exactly! I thought Christmas was all about the cookies and the candy and the standing rib roast with little white paper booties on the legs! SARAH Did you bring food? What about your emergency granola bar? LEAH I ate it on the way here! I thought I was coming to a Christmas house. I even looked in the kitchen and there was nothing! SARAH Not even inside the cabinets? LEAH I didnt look in the cabinets! I mean I really wanted to but what if I got caught? Another reason for them not to like me. I dont think Im doing this right, Sarah! SARAH Okay. Calm down. Im sure there will eventually be some kind of meal. But for now, can you sneak out and get something to eat? SARAH Theres gotta be a gas station or something close by. I mean, youre still in America. Off Leah, considering. SARAH And of course they like you, you silly goose. Just give them a chance to get to know you. LEAH Sarah! SARAH What? I bet hes gonna pop the question before the holidays over. LEAH Hi! Hello! Sorry. I was just MRS WESTWOOD Of course. Well, come back and join us when youre ready. We thought we were done decorating, but Mitchell just found the box of porcelain snowflakes. Can you believe it? LEAH I cannot. MRS WESTWOOD Well be having dinner soon, dear. In case you want to change clothes. LEAH Does your mom hate me? GRAHAM No! Of course not! Did something happen? LEAH She told me to go change for dinner. Is this not a good Christmas sweater? GRAHAM Its a terrific Christmas sweater. Its very festive. LEAH Im trying to do this right! Im a Christmas novice! GRAHAM Youre doing great. Youll be an Advanced Beginner in no time. Come on, lets go back in. LEAH Will there be food soon? GRAHAM Sure. I think were having roast beef and all the fixings. LEAH But Gramlin. I dont smell anything cooking. Do you? GRAHAM Cheer up, little elf! Santas coming so soon! LEAH Why didnt you tell me people would be dressed up? GRAHAM I said it was fancy. LEAH I thought you meant fancy like this..I just meant the regular kind of fancy. LEAH Do you need help with the rest? MRS WESTWOOD Oh, no, this is everything. Wait! I forgot the rolls. GRAHAM Leah can you LEAH Oh yep, hold on GRAHAM Forgot to mention, moms a terrible cook but we make sure she doesnt know we think that. LEAH Oh. Okay. They come back up to the table. GRAHAM Everything is delicious, Mom. MR WESTWOOD As usual! MRS WESTWOOD Thank you. MADDIE Can I have some salt? MRS WESTWOOD Please pass the salt. MADDIE Please pass the salt. LEAH Anyone want to hear a joke? LEAH This older couple gets back from a trip to London. Some friends come over for dinner and theyre telling them all about the trip and how wonderful it was, and the friend says, where did you stay? And the husband has to think for a minute. And then he says whats the name of that flower, the one that smells really good, beautiful, has thorns? And the friend says a rose? And the husband says right, and then he goes, Rose! Whered we stay in London? MRS WESTWOOD How old is this older couple? LEAH I dont know. Old. Like very old. A hundred. LEAH Mmmm. Nice marinade. MRS WESTWOOD Its A sauce. MADDIE So, Leah. What does your family do for the holidays? LEAH Oh! Well. We do a big celebration with the whole family for Hanukkah, with latkes, which are potato pancakes, and sufganiyot, which are jelly donuts. LEAH And the kids play dreidel and get gelt, which is chocolate coins. And then on Christmas Day we all go out for Chinese food. LEAH Chinese restaurants are usually open on Christmas. More silence. Leah squirms. LEAH Ive actually been to China twice. I was there for the World Conference on Applied Engineering and I honestly never thought I would eat blowfish but guess what, blowfish is delicious! MRS WESTWOOD Well, that does sound exciting. MR WESTWOOD I thought blowfish was poisonous. GRAHAM Just the ovaries, Dad. MR WESTWOOD Well! You learn something new every day, dont you? Thats the kind of global knowledge we could really use at the bank, you know. GRAHAM Mmmhmm. MR WESTWOOD Just saying. The option is always there for you to join the old family biz, as they say. GRAHAM Yup. They do say that. MR WESTWOOD You know what would be such a clever idea? An app that could tell you where every mailbox is in the whole world. You know they dont have that? Dont you hate having to drive around looking for mailboxes? GRAHAM Billion dollar idea, Dad. LEAH Meat. And broccoli. SARAH That was the whole dinner? LEAH The whole dinner. SARAH That is violence. Does Graham know you left the house? LEAH No. Everyone was going to bed at like : so I slipped out the back door like a thief. Ugh! Hang on one second. LEAH Siri, I said find me a RESTAURANT thats open. SIRI Sorry, I did not find any matches in your area. SARAH Good grief. Where are you? LEAH I gotta go. LEAH Im spending Christmas with my boyfriends family and they dont have food. TRICIA Like no snackies or no food at all? LEAH No snackies. No chips. Well, an apple and one piece of seaweed but that doesnt count. TRICIA For my family, snacking at Christmas is like an Olympic sport. Whats wrong with these people? LEAH Tricia, I do not know. TRICIA Maybe theyre one of those families who only shops for and cooks one meal at a time. My Aunt Marjorie was like that. The cousins all called her The Warden. LEAH Im sorry, whats that smell? TRICIA Gingerbread loaf, freshly baked. Want a slice? LEAH Uhhhh yeah! TRICIA Fresh out of the oven! LEAH This is the first time Im meeting Grahams family. My cousin thinks hes going to propose to me on Christmas, but Im not so sure. I think his mom doesnt like me, and what if hes like, I cant marry her if my mom doesnt like her? I cant change who I am. TRICIA I dont think you have to. You just have to be you. And trust that its enough. LEAH Thanks, Tricia. Im Leah, by the way. Also, this is the best thing Ive ever eaten in my life. TRICIA I always say, there isnt much in life that cant be solved with a little something to eat. LEAH You are a yuletide miracle, Trish. I should get back before they realize Im gone. TRICIA Sure. Come back any time. Merry Christmas, Leah! LEAH Merry Christmas! LEAH Graham! LEAH What are you doing? GRAHAM Shhh! GRAHAM Im starving. LEAH You never said anything! GRAHAM Dont tell mom. Here, come with me. LEAH What are you looking for? GRAHAM My emergency mac and cheese. GRAHAM Its like your granola bar but better. I always have some hidden away, for moments like this. GRAHAM Hey, you ok? LEAH Im sure its nothing. LEAH I saw your mom taking my ornament off the tree. GRAHAM Shes finicky about the tree. Dont read too much into it. LEAH Its because she didnt like it. GRAHAM She likes it. LEAH Admit that its weird though. GRAHAM Sure. Has your mom never done anything weird? LEAH Well, yeah. GRAHAM See? Moms are weird. They laugh. LEAH Graham, I dont want to be the Christmas newbie who ruins everything. GRAHAM You havent ruined anything. GRAHAM Christmas brings out everyones.quirks. And my parents have a lot of them. My mom thrives on routine and youve come in and shaken things up. Not in a bad way! But shes adjusting. LEAH I mean, I get that. Im kinda similar as you know. GRAHAM Yeah, kinda. And shes going to love you. LEAH Right! Shes going to love me. GRAHAM This is going to make everything better. LEAH Thank you. LEAH That is better. GRAHAM Should we dig in? LEAH Absolutely. MRS WESTWOOD Oh, goodness, Leah! Im so sorry, youve missed breakfast! LEAH No, Im sorry, I overslept! MRS WESTWOOD Its no trouble. Ive already sent Graham and Madeline out to help with some last minute prep for our gingerbread house activity and I need to take care of some things for the Christmas Pageant and I just cannot find my phone! LEAH Do you want me to. call it? MRS WESTWOOD How would that help? I dont have it! LEAH It would ring. MRS WESTWOOD Oh. MRS WESTWOOD Well, this is embarrassing. LEAH I do it all the time. Im always like, where are my sunglasses?, and theyre on my own head. Duh. Is there anything I can do to help? MRS WESTWOOD No, no. Youve solved my biggest problem of the day, so. well do gingerbread houses later this evening. LEAH Of course. MRS WESTWOOD I guess you wont want to go into any stores in your pajamas. LEAH Actually this is sort of a lounge set ? LEAH Ahhhh. SALESGIRL Hi! Welcome! This is Mrs Rabbits Hutch. Its a pop up for our main store a few blocks down. LEAH You have such beautiful stuff! SALESGIRL Oh I know. Can I offer you a gingerbread latte? LEAH Yes! A thousand times yes! LEAH Im going to grab this too! SALESGIRL Here you go! LEAH Bless you. As Leah turns back to take the latte, she bumps into a display of VASES which all wobble for one sickening moment before one, and then two, somersault onto the floor and break. OWNER Not sure I like the sound of that! The stores OWNER, a polished blonde Grace Kelly lookalike , emerges from around the corner to see the mess. LEAH Im sorry. You must be MRS Rabbit. It was a horrible accident. Ill pay for all of it and I will never darken your doorstep again. OWNER If you insist. Theyre $. Both? Each. LEAH Plus the mug. OWNER Plus the mug. SALESGIRL Plus the mug. SALESGIRL Shall I pack up the pieces for her? OWNER We appreciate your business. LEAH Merry Christmas, I guess. LEAH Where did all this candy come from? MADDIE Oh, Mom collects it all year long for this express purpose. GRAHAM Dont eat it. MR WESTWOOD Lets explain the parameters of gingerbread house building to Leah. LEAH I actually have a masters degree in fluid engineering MRS WESTWOOD Mr Westwood was referring to the parameters of the contest. LEAH Its a contest? MRS WESTWOOD Thats what makes it fun! LEAH I mean, its intrinsically fun to make houses out of cookies Graham gives her shoulder an encouraging squeeze. GRAHAM Dont worry. Youll do great. MR WESTWOOD Everyone has one hour from when I start the clock. I will be the roving assistant and also the judge. And in keeping with tradition, the winning design will be displayed at the Christmas Pageant on Christmas Day. Leah practically vibrates with excitement as MR Westwood presses the button on his timer MR WESTWOOD Go! MR WESTWOOD So what are we going for here? Swiss chalet? Austrian gasthaus? LEAH I was going to do a classic mid century Aframe but then I decided the proportions werent right how am I doing on time? MR WESTWOOD Twentyfour minutes and thirty seconds to go. LEAH Twentyfour minutes, thirty seconds, people! MADDIE Wow. Leah, this is incredible. Maddie crosses to look at Leahs house as MR Westwood walks among all the houses, making notes, no expression. MADDIE Dad, did you see? Look at this tiny little wreath on the front! LEAH You know what? Maybe we dont need to judge the gingerbread houses. MADDIE Why not? You did such a good job! LEAH It can just be a fourway tie. MRS WESTWOOD No. MR WESTWOOD Well, if were going on merit. MRS WESTWOOD Judge them as if you didnt know who made which one! MR WESTWOOD But I do know. MRS WESTWOOD Mitchell. MR WESTWOOD Okay! Okay. MRS Westwood exhales, still mad but also relieved? MRS WESTWOOD So hers wins. MR WESTWOOD I think thats obvious. MRS WESTWOOD Well, then. Thats that! Where did you learn such sophisticated technique? LEAH Um. I just watched a lot of YouTube videos before we came up. MRS WESTWOOD Youll have to show me those videos sometime. I could use some tips! Well, I think Im going to go to bed early, we have a big day tomorrow. Goodnight everyone. MR WESTWOOD Right, yes, Ill join you. MADDIE I think its a masterpiece. LEAH Thank you. I mightve done a few practice runs. MADDIE Well, youre really talented. But we knew that, right? LEAH You didnt tell me. GRAHAM Tell you what? LEAH To throw the contest! First of all, its weird that its a contest, and secondly, it wasnt fun to win! GRAHAM Your house turned out great. LEAH I know it did. Because I studied. I am someone who likes to be prepared and you know that more than anyone. So again, I ask you: why didnt you tell me to let your mom win? GRAHAM I dont know. Maybe I didnt want her to win! LEAH Oh! I didnt realize you were an GRAHAM Well, I didnt realize you were a gingerbread house savant, Leah Goldberg. You are full of surprises. LEAH The perfectionism cant be a surprise to you. GRAHAM Oh no, thats not news. Thats just endearing. The tension dissolves as they kiss. As he pulls away LEAH So, remind me, whats the plan for tomorrow? GRAHAM Building snowmen with the Hempsteds. LEAH Right, and who are they again? GRAHAM They are. friends of my parents. Theyve known each other forever. They have a daughter who was we He gestures, turning a little red. Leah is amused. LEAH Was she your girlfriend? GRAHAM We. went out. We were kids. Leah is puzzled by the energy in his response. LEAH Well, Im sure theyre all great and I look forward to meeting them. He considers her fondly, seeing her stress. GRAHAM Hey, you know what? This has all been a lot. Youve been such a good sport about all these crazy activities. I think you might need a break. Do you want to, like, go for a walk tomorrow and look at Christmasy stuff? LEAH Are there any other rules you havent told me about yet? GRAHAM Ummmmm yes, youre never fully dressed without a smile. So dont leave home without one. LEAH Ok, Annie, Im serious. GRAHAM No no, its smooth sailing from here. Just keep being your wonderful self. GRAHAM Can I show you something? GRAHAM My sister and I were obsessed with this thing. We used to say it was the Polar Express and play train conductor and passengers. LEAH Aww, you must have been such cute little kids. Graham pauses. GRAHAM Actually, they put it in when I was fourteen. LEAH Woah, you were not cool. GRAHAM I never claimed to be. LEAH So what was your very favorite thing about Christmas when you were growing up? GRAHAM I guess the anticipation? Like it was almost better not knowing what the gifts were than opening the gifts themselves. LEAH Because the possibilities were endless. They could be anything. GRAHAM Right. But then every so often it was just the exact perfect thing, and you never thought about all the other possibilities because the one thing was just exactly right. LEAH Oooh, we should go. LEAH Hope you get coal in your stocking, Mrs Rabbit. GRAHAM What was that? LEAH MR HEMPSTED MRS HEMPSTED Who is it? LEAH Say its carol singers! MR HEMPSTED Ha! Love Actually! Its carol singers! MRS HEMPSTED What? MR HEMPSTED Never mind! Come in, come in. LEAH See? Its a good movie! MRS HEMPSTED Hello. So nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Thank you for having me. Your house looks great! MRS HEMPSTED Graham? JULIA LEAH Hi. Im Leah. JULIA Julia Hempsted. Nice to meet you. Wait. I know you. JULIA You broke my vases. LEAH I did. Yes. Graham looks puzzled. Leah tumbles into the awkward silence. LEAH It was an accident. LEAH I drove your mom into town and I happened to stop at a popup store where the vases is it vahhhses or vayyses? MRS HEMPSTED its vahhses. Sorry. The vahhses, were displayed JULIA Well, we dont get many bulls in our china shop. JULIA GRAHAM It was a long time ago. JULIA Not that long ago. We were together for three years. GRAHAM Off and on. JULIA Mostly on. GRAHAM Very much off in between the ons. MRS WESTWOOD Oh, hello, Bunny! Leah turns to see MRS Westwood, arms outstretched. JULIA Mrs Westwood! Merry Christmas! LEAH Is she Christmas ornament Bunny? MRS WESTWOOD Its so good to see you. Is it true what your mother told me? Youre moving back from Boston to Knatchfield full time? JULIA LEAH Good old Mrs Rabbit. LEAH You dated her for three years? GRAHAM Off and on, I said! LEAH Fine! Fine I get it. Im just curious though, does this not qualify as one of those things I should get a heads up about? GRAHAM I guess I was hoping she would be a little less. Julia Hempsted about it. Which, in hindsight. LEAH She doesnt strike me as someone who trades on subtlety. GRAHAM That is very, very correct. GRAHAM Shes just a family friend now, Leah. Promise. GRAHAM I think they have snacks, wanna see if we can find something to eat? LEAH Now were talking. JULIA Graham, you have to come look at MADDIE Do you remember Angus? Who never went to class because he was building that canoe? He became a literal brain surgeon. JULIA Oh my gosh, look at the Chess Team. Every single one of these people is either a millionaire or in federal prison. Graham! Come see. LEAH Its fine! Im going to get some food and a drink. GRAHAM I can get you a drink. LEAH Im good. You go look at pictures of Angus the Canoe Man. MRS WESTWOOD What a thrilling opportunity. Lucky Julia! You must be so proud. MRS HEMPSTED She did it all herself. MRS HEMPSTED We were just talking about Julia opening her boutique on Main Street, right here in town. LEAH Yes. I know. Mrs Rabbit. Adorable. MRS WESTWOOD It is so adorable. I get all my hostess gifts there. LEAH Retail is such an exciting business. Risky though. You can really lose your shirt. But exciting. Good luck to her. MRS HEMPSTED Its her third location. LEAH Oh. MRS HEMPSTED She has two stores in Boston. Where she lives. for the moment. MRS WESTWOOD Shes been enormously successful. MRS HEMPSTED Now all she needs is a husband! LEAH Im fine. Wrong pipe. Im good. LEAH Okay, so when are we doing this snowman thing? ‘Cause Im ready. MRS WESTWOOD Now, as always, there is a theme to our Snowmanmaking extravaganza. MRS HEMPSTED Since Julia has opened her new store we thought it would be fun if the snowmen were an homage to MRS Rabbit. Julia smiles, tickled. Leah cringes inwardly. MRS Westwood references boxes of craft supplies/fabrics and a pile of sticks next to a box of carrots. MRS WESTWOOD You may use anything from the supplies provided here MRS HEMPSTED As well as the snow of course. They laugh together, a good joke to no one but them. MRS WESTWOOD Please break into teams of two, you have an hour, your time starts now! JULIA Come on, Grammy. For old times sake? LEAH Its fine! Go on. MADDIE Dont worry, well have much more fun doing it without him. . May I offer you some snow, maam? MADDIE Shes in fine form this year. LEAH MADDIE Hey, I know this is a lot but honestly Ive never seen Graham so happy. LEAH So for this MRS Rabbit element, Im thinking big ears and buck teeth? LEAH But we cant do them too well cuz I cant risk beating your mom again. It pains me to do it but MADDIE Actually thats not quite what MRS WESTWOOD minutes! MRS HEMPSTED And. snow down, hands up! MRS WESTWOOD Girls, you didnt quite hit the brief. LEAH Oh but yours looks amazing, MRS Westwood! You are the clear winner. MRS WESTWOOD Its an exhibition, dear, not a competition. Theyre all part of a coherent picture. A display of our families coming together in art. This one. She references the snowman LEAH Doesnt fit the picture. MADDIE I tried to tell you. GRAHAM Hey, you know what this snowman is perfect for? GRAHAM A snowball fight! MRS WESTWOOD Mitchell! MRS WESTWOOD I think now would be a good moment to go inside. GRAHAM Leah! GRAHAM Hey slugger! Where are you going? LEAH I dont know. GRAHAM Is something wrong? LEAH Is something wrong? Umm.. well I just assaulted your mother with a snowball, Julia is still in love with you, and Im clearly just bad at Christmas! Im not usually this bad at things, Graham! GRAHAM You are not bad at this, Leah. My mother will be fine, shes tougher than she looks. And I told you I dont have feelings for Julia. What do we always say? Whatever happened before we met was just a thing that had to happen so that we could meet each other. Right? LEAH Its just shes beautiful and stylish and your mom loves her and didnt take her ornament off the tree. Au contraire! Its her favorite one! GRAHAM Hey. Whats this really about? LEAH Honestly? I feel like an outsider around your family. Everything I do feels like the wrong thing. GRAHAM Everything you do is perfect to me. And, for what its worth, I did just start a snowball fight for your honor. True sacrilege. An awkward laugh between them. LEAH I did appreciate that. GRAHAM I feel like an outsider almost everywhere I go, unless Im with you. A moment between them. Then LEAH You know she charged me $ for those stupid vayses? Sorry, VAHSES. GRAHAM LEAH $ each! Each! MADDIE Hey, guys. MADDIE Everyones about to go back home. Im gonna tell them about business school tonight, I think. GRAHAM Really? Now? After all that? LEAH Weve got your back, Mads. Cmon. MR WESTWOOD Here we are! MR WESTWOOD Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat! Please to put a penny in the old mans hat! MR AND MRS WESTWOOD If you havent got a penny, a hay penny will do! If you havent got a haypenny, then God bless you! LEAH Is that turkey? MR WESTWOOD Goose! For Christmas Eve Eve and Turkey for Christmas Day. MRS WESTWOOD Tradition! Mitchell, did you bring up the carving set from the basement? MR WESTWOOD Was I supposed to? MRS WESTWOOD I distinctly recall asking. Maybe someone could invent an app that could remind someone to get the carving set. GRAHAM Ill go get the carving set. MRS WESTWOOD Is something wrong, Madeline? You seem very tetchy. MR WESTWOOD Maybe shes just nervous about starting the MBA program. You know how she gets. MRS WESTWOOD Oh, yes I do. Shed better find a way to perk up a little bit unless she wants coal in her stocking. MADDIE Lets talk about me like Im not here! This is so fun! MADDIE Im not going to business school. MRS WESTWOOD Crickets. What are you saying? MADDIE Im saying I dont need an MBA. Im starting an artisanal pickle company. In Brooklyn. MRS WESTWOOD None of those words make any sense to me. Mitchell! Do something! MR WESTWOOD Madeline, I assume you will eventually come to your senses, so I will save the lecture. MADDIE I have come to my senses. Thats what Im trying to tell you. I want to do something thats real. I want to make something you can touch and feel and taste! Not just spend another two years networking. GRAHAM This sounds great, Mads. GRAHAM What? I love pickles. MADDIE I brought pickle samples to share with everyone! Weve already developed five different varietals, its been so fun MRS WESTWOOD Fun. Of course. Everything has to be fun, all the time. Millennials. MADDIE Im Gen Z, thank you very much. MR WESTWOOD Youre upsetting your mother during her favorite time of the year. MRS WESTWOOD At least I can count on my Gramlin to stick to the plan. LEAH What plan is that? MR WESTWOOD Move back to Connecticut and come work with me at the bank. LEAH Oh. That plan. GRAHAM Itll be okay, Mom. Even if Maddie takes a couple of years to figure out what she wants to do with her life. Lets just enjoy Christmas. LEAH Mmmm. Delicious, MRS Westwood. MRS WESTWOOD Thank you. LEAH You know what would be great with goose? Artisanal pickles! LEAH You could do a special edition Christmas pickle next year. MADDIE With cloves and nutmeg! LEAH See? Writes itself. MRS WESTWOOD Oh, thank you, Leah, you dont have to clear the table, youre our guest. Please! Ill do it. LEAH What was that about? GRAHAM Am I allowed to talk to my mom? LEAH Of course. I just wondered nevermind. Sorry. LEAH You never told me your plan was to move back here and work at your dads bank and become a pod person GRAHAM Leah, theyre not pod people. Theyre my family. Theyre not perfect LEAH They are perfect, and everything has to be perfect. I know why she took my ornament down. Because it didnt fit. I dont fit. I feel like Alice in Wonderland! Too big! Too small! Except theres no cake! Just little shreds of goose! MRS WESTWOOD Graham can you help me grab the stockings? I need your long arms.. GRAHAM You betcha. Ill be right there. GRAHAM Just so you know, this thing my dad does talking about how Im going to come work for his bank he does this every time I see him. MRS WESTWOOD Lets hang the stockings. MR WESTWOOD With care! MRS WESTWOOD I have one for you too, Leah! With your name on it. LEAH Its very cute! MRS WESTWOOD All they had left at the store was novelty stockings. LEAH Well, you know what they say. The best gifts come in small packages! MR WESTWOOD Like diamonds. LEAH Oh thats not what I.. Um. Bedtime, I guess! MADDIE Oh yeah, definitely. Sooner to bed MADDIE Sooner we are outta here. MRS WESTWOOD Dont forget about your Christmas Eve gift! And the pjs! MADDIE Thanks for standing up for me. I appreciate it. LEAH Theyll come around. MADDIE Well, thats what I asked Santa for, so. well see. They will for you too, Leah. I know it. GRAHAM Hey. Hey. LEAH GRAHAM Look, I play along with my dad because its easier than telling him I would never move back here to work at his bank. Okay? LEAH Im sorry I didnt realize GRAHAM that I was protecting you from my family? LEAH That you were protecting yourself GRAHAM Its not just you that feels like you cant measure up. LEAH I see you measuring up, Gramlin. Maybe its time to give them the chance to see that too. GRAHAM Merry Christmas Eve Eve, Leah. LEAH Merry Christmas Eve Eve, Graham. LEAH And once again. I dont fit. MRS WESTWOOD Just one special gift today! No peeking for tomorrow! MADDIE Great. MR WESTWOOD Big ice cubes! MADDIE You kept talking about how big ice cubes melt slower and dont water down your drink. And honestly I remain unconvinced but MR WESTWOOD Its a fact! I heard a whole podcast about it. Thanks, darling. MADDIE Glad you like it, Dad. MRS WESTWOOD Ah! These are darling. GRAHAM And this is from me to Leah. I have something small for tomorrow but. LEAH Oh wow. Yum! Thank you! GRAHAM Its, um. LEAH Candied violets? GRAHAM Remember? You said you loved them when you were little. LEAH Oh. Yes. I did. When I was little. MRS WESTWOOD I once broke a tooth on a candied violet. No, thank you. Now Graham sweetheart, you havent opened a gift yet. MADDIE What about this one from Leah? Maddie hands him the gift and he starts to open it. LEAH Oh you dont have to open that. I didnt know about the tradition so I only brought the one gift. GRAHAM Thats ok, do you want me to wait until tomorrow? LEAH Oh, I mean.you can open it. LEAH Its. you can rip the paper. GRAHAM This is all photos of us? LEAH On every date weve been on. Chronologically. See GRAHAM Im its LEAH Whatever. Its dumb. Im going to go change into. not this. SARAH Merry Christmas Eve, Sugarplum! LEAH SARAH LEAH He got me a food basket. SARAH Like Harry and David fruit with the cute little jackets on? LEAH No. The kind of basket with summer sausage and aged cheddar. The kind of basket you send to the guy who does your taxes. In the entirety of human history, there has never been a less personal, less romantic gift. SARAH At least its food. LEAH Thats true. But I gave him a photo album of every date weve ever been on, and he looked at it like I dont know. Like it scared him. Sare, you know how people are always like, the signs were there! I should have noticed! What if this is the sign Im supposed to notice? Like hes trying to tell me something without actually telling me? SARAH Summer sausage is a weird way to say it, but I see what you mean. Do you need me to come get you? LEAH No. I can tough it out. SARAH Aw, Leah. LEAH I didnt think Christmas would be this difficult! SARAH I know. LEAH Its so weird. Its like Graham and I suddenly dont know each other at all. LEAH Theres cheese twists. SARAH Are you eating in the bathroom? LEAH Yes, but I have to go get ready for the Christmas Costume Pageant. The theme is Dress As Your Favorite Christmas Movie Character. SARAH Look, if you and Graham arent in it for the long haul, its better to know now, right? MADDIE This was constructed by Grahams girlfriend Leah. Shes a genius. MADDIE Dont look. LEAH What? MADDIE Three oclock. Tenth grade girlfriend. LEAH Umm so cute. She looks like she walked out of A Christmas Carol. MADDIE Would love to be the ghost of her Christmas future. LEAH Are we avoiding her and if so, may I ask why? Because, girl. At that moment, Nicole looks over and she and Maddie lock eyes. She smiles. Maddie smiles back. MADDIE I cant think of a reason. Maddie and Nicole drift towards each other like magnets. MRS WESTWOOD I just dont understand these grimy people in tank tops and bare feet. GRAHAM Mom, I cant have this argument again. Die Hard is a Christmas movie. MRS Westwood sighs. MRS WESTWOOD This is all just. not quite what I had in mind. GRAHAM Maybe it isnt and maybe thats fine mom. Change might be a good thing. MRS WESTWOOD What do you mean? GRAHAM Leah. Leahs a good thing. I need you to try to be a little more flexible. Ok? MR WESTWOOD We can be flexible, son. GRAHAM Well thats good, Dad. Because Ive been meaning to tell you. Im not coming back to work at the bank. I love you but its not the future I see for myself. MR WESTWOOD I know, son. Ive always known. Cant fault me for trying. GRAHAM But that doesnt mean that I dont want to spend time together or. talk about all your app ideas. MR WESTWOOD That IS good news. Im going to get us a drink but then I had an idea I wanted to run by you GRAHAM Ok, Dad. GRAHAM What are you? JULIA An angel! Cant you just see me on top of a tree? JULIA Who is Carol Singer? LEAH Its from Love, Actually. JULIA Oh, I dont watch reality TV. Leah reels. Its not. you know what? Its been a very long day, and the summer sausage was very distressing, so Im just going to GRAHAM Leah, wait LEAH Mrs Westwood? MRS WESTWOOD Oh. Hello, Leah. She looks like shes been crying? Leah panics. LEAH Is everything okay? Can I get you anything? MRS WESTWOOD No, thanks. Im fine. LEAH Are you sure? You dont look fine. MRS WESTWOOD Well, thats just it, isnt it? Sometimes everything looks fine, but underneath all the trappings, it is not fine at all. LEAH Im so sorry. MRS WESTWOOD Oh, its not your fault. LEAH Its not? But I thought Id ruined your Christmas. MRS WESTWOOD Ruined? How? LEAH You have a whole system. The way you like to do things. It all has to be perfect, and I came in like this fly in the ointment and made everything messy. MRS WESTWOOD Oh, Leah. MRS WESTWOOD I like you very much. And more than that, I admire you. Youre accomplished and independent and Graham is absolutely gaga for you. Im not the best with change. I thrive on consistency, predictability, rules. I cling to tradition. MRS WESTWOOD I even make the same meals my mother used to make. But to be honest, I dont even like cooking that much. I am just doing it because the children rave about the food. LEAH Well, of course. Its. delicious. MRS WESTWOOD But I realize now Ive been clinging a little too hard. I should have been more welcoming to you. I put so much pressure on these small windows of time with my kids that I wasnt able to be patient with someone new in Grahams life. I just wanted it to be the same as its always been. MRS WESTWOOD Youre bringing something fresh to our family, and I made you feel like that wasnt allowed. I think Im realizing Im just. scared of losing my son. Im so sorry. LEAH Wow. I understand. But you dont have to worry about losing him. He is and always will be your son, and Im just trying to figure out where I fit in with your family. I know change is hard, but Id really like to get to know you better. MRS WESTWOOD Id like that too. LEAH Can I ask one more thing? Why did you take my ornament off the tree? LEAH The terrarium. MRS WESTWOOD Oh! Well, I just thought it was so beautiful that it should. um MRS WESTWOOD Can I be honest? MRS WESTWOOD I appreciate it. but its just not my style. I love that you thought of me though. Its not really Christmas, is it? LEAH Call it even? For the huge pajamas? MRS WESTWOOD Please! Ive never been so mortified in my life. LEAH I think Id better go find Graham. MRS WESTWOOD Leah, you make my son very happy, and that is the best Christmas gift I could get. JULIA Oh. Thanks. LEAH No problem. JULIA LEAH Hey, I get it. You and Graham have a history. JULIA Yes, but its in the past. Leah smiles. LEAH For the record, I think that halo looks good on you. JULIA Merry Christmas, Leah. LEAH Merry Christmas. TRICIA Oh, look! Its Carol Singers! LEAH Hey, Tricia. Is my boyfriend here? Graham? Yay high, dressed like Scrooge? MRS GOLDBERG This is definitely it! Its the only general store in town! MR GOLDBERG How can you be so sure? MR GOLDBERG Cookie! What are you doing here? LEAH What are you doing here? MRS GOLDBERG LEAH To where? These are my parents. GRAHAM Leah? What are you doing here? LEAH Looking for you! GRAHAM But how did you know ? LEAH you shared your location with my phone, remember? Anyway Leah eyes Graham. LEAH Why are you not very surprised to see my parents here? GRAHAM Oh! I am! Why are you guys here? MRS GOLDBERG Sarah called us.and said Leah was very hungry. MR GOLDBERG Naturally we panicked. MRS GOLDBERG So we hopped right in the car to come out to the Westwoods, but then we got lost because your father doesnt like that ladys tone MR GOLDBERG Shes very condescending, that Gps person! Who does she think she is? Impatient, pushy, its like driving with my mother. Or your mother, even worse! Anyway we stopped for directions and look who we ran into! You! LEAH Its a two hour drive. MR GOLDBERG No traffic on Christmas Eve! MRS GOLDBERG We made great time. GRAHAM Hey, now that youre here, why dont we all go back to the house? MRS GOLDBERG Great! Lets do that. LEAH Youre being weird. This is weird. What is going on? GRAHAM Nothing! Everything is totally cool and normal. MADDIE This is the most words hes ever said in his whole life. GRAHAM And thirdly, I did not get you a food basket for Christmas. I mean I did, but thats not the main present. GRAHAM Hang on. Not that. GRAHAM Leah Bernadette Goldberg. GRAHAM I want to spend the rest of my life with you, rain or shine, Christmas and Hanukkah, Im in it for the long haul if you are. LEAH Oh my gosh. Its beautiful! GRAHAM It was my grandmothers. My mom gave it to me to give to you. LEAH She did? MRS WESTWOOD He asked very nicely. MRS WESTWOOD Dear Mom and Santa, you always said I could have Grandmas ring to give to the person I fell in love with and wanted to marry. Well, I love Leah Goldberg very much and I want to ask her to marry me. Can I please have Grandmas ring to give to her? Love, Gramlin. GRAHAM See? It fits perfectly. MRS GOLDBERG Psst. MRS GOLDBERG You didnt ask! Graham looks puzzled, and then realizes GRAHAM Oh! Right. MRS GOLDBERG You have to say yes! LEAH Mom. I got it! Yes. A thousand times yes. LEAH I love you so much. GRAHAM I love you, too. MR GOLDBERG Its a very emotional time! MRS GOLDBERG Were gonna be mishpochah! Family. MR GOLDBERG Cant wait to try my first Christmas turkey tomorrow! MRS Westwood gasps. MRS WESTWOOD I forgot the turkey! I cant believe it! I forgot the turkey! MRS GOLDBERG Dont worry, weve got an idea. MR WESTWOOD Its a little bit of a drive, but its worth it. LEAH This is a perfect mistake. LEAH Merry Christmas! They both signal to her to lower her voice. GRAHAM Merry Christmas. MADDIE Merry Christmas. LEAH Why are we whispering? GRAHAM Shhh. Were supposed to be in our rooms until theyre ready. MADDIE We have to wait for the signal. LEAH Copy that. LEAH Your mom may not be a great cook but shes a fantastic seamstress. LEAH Wait! What would happen if you just went downstairs? Will Christmas be canceled? Is Santa down there? MADDIE We dont know! MRS WESTWOOD Ready! GRAHAM So, your evaluation of Christmas? Is it everything you wanted it to be? LEAH You know what, I was trying so hard to get it right, but I realized. Christmas will always be perfect, as long as Im with you.