DR_PENN_INTV FEMALE MALE MICHAEL_INTV POLICE VO

VO
Even law breakers have a code of conduct. 

MALE
These are both coming back. As simple as that. Alright?

VO
But some of the crudest commit nasty.

FEMALE
I have to [BLEEP] on my pants.

VO
Naughty.

MALE
This dude is as naked as a jay bird.

VO
And even unclothed crimes that cross every line. 

MALE
What the [BLEEP] is going on? 

VO
When bare naked bandits take transgression to the next level, the law has to get down and dirty to clean up the streets.

MALE
I'll tase you right here.

VO
Justice may be blind, but law enforcement isn’t so lucky.

MALE
We got a knife! 

FEMALE
Ain't gonna taser me, bro! 

VO
No matter where you are, going full frontal in public comes with consequences.

MALE
That’s enough. Come over here.

VO
In the us, federal level public indecency can get you five years in jail. 

MALE
What's the deal, man?

MALE
Huh?

MALE
Why are you naked? Were you in that accident up the road there?

MALE
No, sir.

MALE
No? Hey, hey. 

VO
But some bad boys in the buff.

MALE
Swear to God, white dude naked as a jay bird on an ATV, running against traffic on I-29. This dude is butt [BLEEP] naked. 

VO
Still want to take their bare ass escapades to the next level. 

FEMALE
[INAUDIBLE]

MALE
What the [BLEEP] is going on? 

VO
You don’t need a therapist to see this guy's nuts. Check out this fella trying to skinny dip in it’s a small world.

MALE
Oh my God.

VO
Families came to see mickey, but instead they have to see some guy’s di…disregard for decency. But when nudity spills into the roadways, all hell breaks loose. In johnson county, arkansas, a driver is getting pulled over from reckless driving. She boldly exits her vehicle and charges the officer that pulled her over. But his partner must have played football in high school, because he makes a textbook tackle on this aggressive streaker. 

VO
So is she still considered naked, if she’s wearing a t-shirt on her head? Over 80% of naked incidents end with an altercation with the involved officer. 

MALE
Is that your squad? What the [BLEEP]? Someone just stole my squad. 

VO
And for some reason, police cruisers are a naked bandit’s favorite getaway car.

MALE
Sir! Sir! Hey, get out of there! Hey! 

VO
The act of stealing a police car results in a high speed, life threatening chase 100% of the time. 

MALE
He’s stolen my duty. He's taken off eastbound in my unit. [INAUDIBLE] 

MALE
He’s taken your unit? 

MALE
Yes. 
MICHAEL INTV
Among things that we run into in our daily activities a law enforcement officer are people with no clothing on. They get handled differently, for lack of a better word, with kid gloves. My guess is if it’s not clothing, there’s something wrong with them to begin with. We will try to reason with them and then when we can’t reason, we’ll at our best, apprehend them. 

VO
But actually apprehending naked people is not easy. In arizona, the staff at this gas station spotted a woman walking around naked and called the police.

MALE
Can you come over here away from the crowd? 

FEMALE
Do you have like a jacket or something? 

MALE
Stand right here. I’ll see what I can get for you, alright? Okay. I think I got a blanket…

VO
The responding officer grabs something from his truck to cover the woman. As she waits on the driver’s side of the car, he goes around to give her the blanket. And finds her in the driver’s seat. She hits the gas. And takes off. This cop is only try to help the lady out and in return, she left him in the dust with his pink blankie. Now somebody’s got to clean that seat.

MALE
Thank you.

VO
With the bare naked on the run, the officer deputizes a pair of citizens to be his driver and co-pilot.

MALE
Subject, uh, took off in my, uh, pickup truck going westbound. Some passerbys picked me up. She’s going in excess of 75 miles per hour. We’re staying way back for their safety, but trying to keep an eye on the vehicle. 

VO
Cops and actual police cars join the pursuit and stop the rogue runner at another gas station. Officer blanket and his deputies arrive to find the undressed thief in custody and charged with theft and endangerment and sentenced to 27 months in prison. 

MALE
Hey! You okay?

MICHAEL INTV
A lot of what goes on in unexpected things that happen during a law enforcement career. The focus is always on scene control. The training that comes into that is more keeping your composure. Remember they are now in our custody. They’re our responsibility. It is my duty to make sure that everybody is safe.

VO
Freaky street streakers are a tale as old as time and they pay for showing off. But in australia.

MALE
Here you go, mate.

VO
Where they don’t exactly have the right to bear arms, disrobed delinquents take advantage of their right to bare legs, torsos and everything else. In a town called balgownie, these outback cops are looking to bring this suspect into custody for intimidating his neighbor. 

POLICE
With these allegations, we’re placing you under arrest, ok? 

MALE
I’m under arrest?

POLICE
For intimidation.

MALE
See this, Brianna, I'm under arrest now. 

VO
But instead of calling his lawyer.

MALE
For your information.

VO
He gets.

MALE
Yeah. 

FEMALE
They're arresting no one. 

VO
Nearly naked sister. 

FEMALE
He ain’t under arrest. 

MALE
I hadn't done nothing. 

FEMALE
He's done nothing bad. You can see who I am, if you want to take my [BLEEP] off.

MALE
She was in the shower.

FEMALE
 I’ll take my [BLEEP] off and I’ll take all of yous on. 

MALE
Stop this.

FEMALE
Because he ain't done nothing!

MALE
Stop it. 

POLICE
At the moment…

FEMALE
We've been sitting here doing nothing!

POLICE
You are both under arrest for intimidation.

FEMALE
Oh. Put me under arrest, brother! You think I give a [BLEEP]?You think I give a [BLEEP]? Put me under arrest!

MALE
Let her get dressed! 

VO
His sister leaves to get dressed and the officers accompany the man inside.

POLICE
But yous are both coming back simple as that, alright? 

VO
Until suddenly…

POLICE
Hey, hey, hey! Put the knife down! We got a knife! [BLEEP]! 

FEMALE
Ain't gonna taser me, bro! Ain't gonna taser me, bro! 

FEMALE
If you want to take my [BLEEP] off.

MALE
She was in the shower.

FEMALE
 I’ll take my [BLEEP] off and I’ll take all of yous on. 

V
In australia, officers from balgownie police department are dealing with an irate and nearly naked woman.

FEMALE
You think I give a [BLEEP]? You think I give a [BLEEP]? Put me under arrest!

VO
They were called in for a disturbance and it turned out disturbing.

POLICE
Hey, hey, hey! Put the knife down! We got a knife! [BLEEP]! 

FEMALE
Ain't gonna taser me, bro! Ain't gonna taser me, bro! Ain’t gonna…[TASER SOUND] 

MALE
Get down! 

POLICE
Hey, hey, hey! Put the knife down! We got a knife! We got a knife!

VO
While still in her towel… 

POLICE
[BLEEP]! 

VO
The sinister sister attacks the officers with a kitchen knife. And when she refuses to drop the knife. 

FEMALE
Ain't gonna taser me, bro! Ain't gonna taser me, bro!

VO
Officers tase her. And she drops her knife and the towel. 

FEMALE
Secure! 

VO
The fiery female was sentenced to three and a half years in prison for charges related to the incident.

FEMALE
Put me under arrest, brother! You think I care? [BLEEP]!

VO
She got exactly what she wanted.

FEMALE
You think I give a [BLEEP]? 

MALE
You's okay? 

MALE
No, I got stabbed. 

MALE
You alright?

MALE
Nah. 

FEMALE
I’m fine. 

MALE
He’s been stabbed. 

VO
Only one of the officers was injured in this attack and was treated for a stab wound to the hand. 

MALE
Get down! Get down! 

VO
Law enforcement’s job is a mix bag of lethal confrontations and other situations that are inexplicable. But sometimes the grossest misconduct is called down by mother nature herself. And i guess when the need arises, the boldest boneheads just go for it. 

MALE
Oh, you must be [BLEEP] joking! You just made a jam because you want to miss? 

VO
The parkway peer puts himself and other drivers in danger to empty his bladder, but at least he remembers to turn on his hazards and give a friendly mid-pee wave. 

MALE
[BLEEP] idiot! 

VO
He could learn something from this guy, who at least has the decency to turn off at a highway exit before stopping for his unplanned bathroom break. He's moving fast and walking in that way, where you just know he’s out of time. He makes himself comfortable in front of a small business’s parking lot and gives his pants a classy little smell check. He mad dashes to the car to get some napkins and a paper bag and then it’s business time, in perfect view of these security cameras. Now he does his doody duty. He gets it all out of his system, leaving it on the business’s back doorstep and then drives off thinking he's gotten away with the perfect crime. But the store owner wants revenge. 

VO
Using the license plate, the store owner tracks down the crappy culprit’s car, pastes photo evidence of his not so private pitstop and leaves him a care package of toilet paper, wipes and petop bismal in case of any future pooping related emergencies. 

MALE
Emergencies happen. At the end of the day, clean up after your dog, can up after yourself. 

VO
But he’s not the only offender crude enough to leave a steamy mess behind. 

POLICE
Pull over. 

VO
In arkansas, this trooper pulls over a driver who's swerving all over the road.

POLICE
Good morning. 

FEMALE
Good morning. 

POLICE
Trooper [INAUDIBLE] State Police. 

VO
While getting her information, he begins to suspect that she might be a little under the influence. 

POLICE
I can smell alcohol inside the vehicle. Nobody’s been drinking this morning, have they?

FEMALE
No.

POLICE
Last night? Nothing?

VO
He doesn’t believe her, but he has just the thing to find out the truth. The breath alyzer.

POLICE
Alright, ready? Big, big blow. Blow. 

FEMALE
What’s that? 

POLICE
It's a PBT, portable breath test. 

FEMALE
Huh? 

POLICE
It’s a portable breath test. Take a deep breath. 

VO
She refuses to blow into it. Ands he makes mistake number two. 

FEMALE
I have to poop, sir.

POLICE
Then you’ll have to wait till we get to the jail. 

FEMALE
I can't wait. I'm gonna. I have to [BLEEP] on my pants.

POLICE
You have to.

FEMALE
I need to get.

POLICE
No, no, no, no. 

FEMALE
I'm going to have to poop right here on the road. I have to. 

VO
She’s blowing out the wrong end. 

FEMALE
Can I have a piece of paper?

POLICE
No, ma’am. You cannot. You’ll have to pull your pants up. You’re stepping in it.

FEMALE
You're making me. Stop.

POLICE
Ma’am, put your hands behind your back.

FEMALE
What are you doing? 

POLICE
I'm taking you. 

VO
The diarrhea diva fights back.

POLICE
I’ll tase you right here.

FEMALE
Are you gonna kill me?

POLICE
Ma’am, I’ll tase you. Please get on the ground.

VO
No wonder she was so uncomfortable. She was so drunk, she thought the breathalyzer was a gun. 

FEMALE
Are you gonna shoot me?

POLICE
No, I’m not gonna shoot you. This is a PBT. 

VO
She literally had the poop scared out of her. 

POLICE
You’ll have to.

FEMALE
I'm gonna...

POLICE
No, no, no, no! Turn around. 

FEMALE
Poop right here in my shorts. 

POLICE
Turn around.

FEMALE
Can I have a piece of paper?

POLICE
No, ma’am, you can’t. 

VO
This lady may have invented a new way to fail a sobriety test. But if you can believe it, there are some offenders that are even more disgraceful. This person in london decided to steal from a wheelchair store. I don’t think lifting a walker is worth the potential six month jail sentence. Which is the standard punishment in england for stealing from a store.  But this guy’s got his eyes on the prize. In a bizarro episode of supermarket sweep, he pushes away the cheap crutches, decides against the analog wheelchair, custom canes and goes straight for the high ticket stuff. 

VO
A mobility scooter, a vehicle worth over 8,000 dollars on the open market.  It’s like grand theft auto for clown cars. But unfortunately for him this thing tops out at 8 miles per hour.  The suspected thief rides off into the sunset. But wherever he is now he didn’t get there quickly. This guy kept his weiner out while he stole plants and other garden supplies from a home in florida. He came back days later covered up in a ghillie suit and stole coils and a radiator from a truck. Not sure why he showed up naked first and then tried to camouflage. But either way it didn’t work. 

VO
He was arrested a week later on two counts of burglary. And while other tasteless thieves steal from babies. Some steal from church. As sunday service is in session, this sinister sinner breaks into the choir room and loads his bag with thousands of dollars of valuables, choir girls’ purses, phones and even the backpack he used to pilfer it all with. The falsified churchgoer was never found but he has been sentenced to eternal damnation in hell. For some unholy offenses, the lord’s judgement is the most severe punishment a crook can face. But others require a more immediate intervention. 

VO
So we have cops to make the bad guys pay. In jonesboro, arkansas, this dude has been arrested for public intoxication. 

MALE
You know what? [BLEEP] you!

VO
But this isn’t just drunk talk. He’s distracting the cops while he works the cuffs off his wrists. 

MALE
Would you advise County that my subject is out of his cuffs in the back?

VO
And he finds out what kind of damage disruptive behavior can really cause.  

VO
In north yorkshire, england, a mother spots a white van nearby where her children were playing. When it suspiciously peels away. 

FEMALE
That is our Lucy! That van. That was [BLEEP] Lucy! 

VO
The panic stricken mother is convinced her daughter has just been kidnapped. 

FEMALE
It’s [BLEEP] Lucy! 

VO
As the grandfather runs to the family car, a determined but completely naked uncle runs out of the house to help chase them down. 

MALE
Dad, open the door!

VO
But the barenaked run was all for naught. 

FEMALE
She’s alright! She’s right here. 

VO
The eleven year old lucy was around the corner and the entire ordeal was just a misunderstanding. While the uncle was praised for his bravery, he was also mocked for letting the whole neighborhood see the family jewels. Not all heroes wear capes. But most of them wear something. 

FEMALE
With his will out and everything! 

MALE
Like you’re cheating. 

MALE
I’m not cheating, man. I never cheat. 

MALE
Get in the car. Put your legs in the car for me. 

MALE
Whatever. 

VO
In jonesboro, arkansas, a man is arrested for public intoxication. As he’s being transported to jail, he berates the officers in the backseat. 

MALE
You’re an [BLEEP]. 

VO
The cop’s focus is on him, while he works the cuffs off his wrists and is now unrestrained in the backseat. 

VO
An officer radios dispatch. 

MALE
Would you advise County that my subject is out of his cuffs in the back? 

VO
And begins to speed to jail as the suspect becomes increasingly violent. The backseat bandit reaches in his pocket for keys and arms himself in an attempt to attack the officers, when suddenly. As the cop, distracted and speeding through traffic, loses control and sends the cruiser flying. 

VO
The suspected public drunkard gets ejected through the rear window. The arrested man runs from the scene of the crash but is later apprehended and charged with escape, fleeing on foot and public intoxication. 

MICHAEL INTV
So, part of becoming a police officer or law enforcement type personnel is a psychological that you go through. Where they’ll try and hook you. They’ll try and say things that will turn your face red, things that will elicit a response from you as an officer. A good law enforcement officer or police officers will stand there and take it and not be hooked by whoever the demonstrator or the instigator is. And we will stand there and take until ordered to uh differently.  

VO
Consequences for the crude people out there comes in many forms. But nothing is more satisfying than instant karma. What happens when a brazen crook steals a kid’s pumpkin. 

MALE
Go, go, go, go. Oh ho ho. [BLEEP]

VO
Instant karma. If you just go around acting like a [bleep]. 

MALE
[LAUGHS]

VO
Instant karma. Take out your frustrations on a storefront. A fearless onlooker’s going to call the cops. And even if you run, instant karma will strike you down. These three rude dudes on one bike are about to break into a bank. With bricks in hand, their plan is foolproof.

VO
Break the window, make off with the cash and oh! It’s always the guy who’s not wearing a helmet. With one guy already taken down by friendly fire, a security guard shows up to further complicate this robbery attempt. Uh, buddy, you okay. Ah, he’s awake, folks. Karma came for him first. But it’ll catch up with his buddies later on. 

MALE
Hey, you okay? 

MICHAEL INTV
Ultimately when we get onto the scene of where somebody has to be arrested and they are naked, our first goal is to get them into our custody. 

MALE
Get down, get down! 

MICHAEL INTV
You start to treat it as a regular police arrest. 

MICHAEL INTV
Which just goes into the level of the rest of our training of maintaining our composure. We can laugh about it later. But in the moment it is still a danger to the officer. 


MICHAEL INTV
You don’t know why they’re naked. So our first goal is to safety get them into custody. Our next goal is to grab whatever’s readily available and cover them up. It’s our job to protect them. They’re no longer the bad guy. They are now somebody that is under our care and control. So we’ll grab somebody’s jacket, not ours, nothing that’s on our uniform parts. If they’re a suspect then we will cover them with anything that we can find. 

MICHAEL INTV
Having somebody with no clothing on that you interact with, depending on the location. We’re assuming it’s a public place. We’re assuming it’s outside and not in somebody’s household. There’s a lot to unpack there. 

MALE
Where’s all your clothes at? 

VO
I think scene control is more. You’re gonna be cognizant that there’s gonna be cellphone video everywhere. The goal is to get them covered up as quickly as possible. And to look professional doing it. Anybody today could become a meme by tackling somebody and grabbing them in the wrong spot. If you’re the officer that has to taze somebody with no clothing on, it’s just not gonna go or look well no matter how you do it or how well your training is. 

FEMALE
If you wanna take my [BLEEP] off or take my [BLEEP] off. 

MALE
Come on. 

FEMALE
I’ll take all of yous on. 

MICHAEL INTV
When an officer responds to an armed individual or an armed scene or a hostage type negotiation, we always assume that the individual is trained equal to us. We never take anything for granted. We don’t stick our head around a corner. 

MALE
Get down with that knife. 

MALE
We’ve got a knife. Stay down. [BLEEP]

POLICE
Hey, hey, hey! Put the knife down! We got a knife! [BLEEP]! 

FEMALE
Ain't gonna taser me, bro! Ain't gonna taser me, bro!  

MICHAEL INTV
That means if we are injured, that person is still a threat. So we are trained to perform until that threat is neutralized. 

DR PENN INTV
Alcohol takes away your inhibitions. Alcohol allows you to be that inner self that we’re able to control. That that voice in us that says, no, I’m not going to do that that that conscious voice that says, no I’m not going to say that. Well, alcohol takes that away. And and when it does, it makes for a situation where anything may go. 

MALE
Pull your pants up. Don’t step in it. 

FEMALE
You’re making me. 

MALE
Ma’am. 

FEMALE
Ah. 

MALE
Ma’am, put your hands behind your back. 

FEMALE
What are you doing? 
MALE
I’m taking you to. 

FEMALE
Wait. 

DR PENN INTV
When you see someone act out of character. You see someone ooh, be different than their regular self. 

MICHAEL INTV
I think when dealing with aggressive people that are having rage syndrome, is due to frustration. And our job is to find out where that frustration is coming from and deescalate it. 

MALE
[BLEEP] You lied to me. You lied to me. I thought you might’ve played fair. 

MICHAEL INTV
There are a couple things that could happen to cause what would seemingly be a routine situation to go south. It could be training of the officer. It could be narcotics, the drugs or the alcohol that the subject slash victim. I do think that a lot of it has to do with that particular situation at the hand. And it can never be planned for. It’s always a surprise when something goes south. It really does depend on the particular situation.