BETTY COMMENTATOR CUSHLA CUSHLA_LAVERY DAVY DECCY DERMOT DISCO_PEELER DRIVER EAMONN EAMONN_LAVERY FIDEL GERRY GINA GINA_LAVERY GROUP INTERVIEWER JIM JIMMY JOANNA MAITRE_D MAN MARIAN MARJORIE MICHAEL MICHAEL_AGNEW MINTY MRS_COYLE OTHER_SOLDIER PENNY PRIVATE_HARRIS REPORTER SEAMUS SEAN TOMMY VICTOR CUSHLA LAVERY Mummy! CUSHLA LAVERY Mummy! GINA LAVERY Hello? CUSHLA LAVERY Mummy! GINA LAVERY Oh. CUSHLA LAVERY Mummy! GINA LAVERY You left me all alone! Ah! CUSHLA LAVERY Okay. Hang on, I know you�re cold. Okay. Breathe in. GINA LAVERY Where were you? CUSHLA LAVERY Okay, put your arms around me. I know, okay, come on. Okay, put your wee arm around me. GINA LAVERY Can�t feel my leg. CUSHLA LAVERY One. two, three. Come on, Mummy. Help me, please. Okay. Okay. I�m gonna get you. Just stay there for me. Okay? GINA LAVERY You left me alone! CUSHLA LAVERY Don�t cry mummy. Gonna put a wee plaster on you. GINA LAVERY You left me all alone. CUSHLA LAVERY And then I�m gonna get you all warm, okay? CUSHLA LAVERY I�m here now. Okay? GINA LAVERY Oh. CUSHLA LAVERY I�m here now. I�m sorry, Mummy. GINA LAVERY Oh. EAMONN LAVERY The Anchor. CUSHLA LAVERY Eamonn, Mummy�s drinking�s getting worse. EAMONN LAVERY What? CUSHLA LAVERY She�s pissed all the time. There�s, there�s gin bottles all over this house! EAMONN LAVERY What do you want me to do about it? I�m up to my ballix here, wee girl. CUSHLA LAVERY Who is it? MICHAEL AGNEW I don�t know. A car just reversed in and took off again. CUSHLA LAVERY I thought you said you weren�t worried about the peelers? MICHAEL AGNEW It wasn�t the police. CUSHLA LAVERY Who was it? Did you recognise the car? MICHAEL AGNEW No. It was one of those cars that you�re not supposed to remember. MICHAEL Young, non-militant Catholics are being radicalised by police brutality. MINTY He loves the sound of his own voice. MICHAEL Wich makes them vulnerable to recruitment to the IRA. JIMMY He looks tired. MICHAEL At this rate, the RUC and the IRA might as well be working together. FIDEL Has he forgotten the judges the IRA shot last year? MICHAEL I won�t let the bully boys on either side tell me what I can and can�t say. FIDEL He�s begging for a bullet alright. MICHAEL I choose freedom over fear. CUSHLA I�m going to the loo. REPORTER But it was a poor election for his Unionist Party of Northern Ireland, which took only five seats. Unionist opposition to Faulkner�s support of power sharing. GINA You�d almost feel sorry for him. He should take up golf. CUSHLA What? GINA Brian Faulkner. He should just give up. REPORTER Michael Agnew, the lawyer representing Connor Kelly, Michael McAleavey, and Patrick Coyle spoke out today about police brutality. MICHAEL Young, non-militant Catholics are being radicalised by police brutality. GINA There�s another one who needs a hobby. MICHAEL At this rate, the RUC and the IRA might as well be working together. INTERVIEWER That�s a very inflammatory statement. MICHAEL I won�t let the bully boys on either side tell me what I can and can�t say. I choose freedom over fear. GINA He�s kept a good head of hair, in fairness to him. CUSHLA I�m gonna go to bed. JIM Cushla. Ah, thank you for coming! CUSHLA Hello, thanks for having me. JIM No Michael? CUSHLA Is he not here? JIM No. CUSHLA Oh. JIM Grab a wee drink and I�ll see yous inside, yeah? PENNY Cushla, thank you so much for coming. Your dress is lovely. CUSHLA Thank you, Penny. I love your work. JIM Still no sign of Michael? CUSHLA No. But he did say that these are your favourites. PENNY Ah! He brought you to Bewley�s! VICTOR Aye, and Switzers, by the look of it. JIM Ah, speak of the devil. MICHAEL I�m sorry I missed it, Penny. JIM Hard day at the office? MICHAEL You could say that. PENNY Come on, let�s take the rest of the wine into the kitchen. MICHAEL Bloody RUC legal team trying to pretend they�re impartial. VICTOR Have you ever thought that maybe it�s you that�s not impartial? MICHAEL You�re right, Vic. I am partial, to a bit of justice. VICTOR Oh, stop with the grandstanding. MICHAEL Would you like to be hauled off the street and have a false confession beaten out of you? VICTOR Don�t. We know all this. MICHAEL And then you get tried by one old judge who thinks you�re inherently wrong on all three fronts, class, religion, haircut. VICTOR You are so bloody wearying. MICHAEL You know, I can understand why the IRA are telling their lads not to recognise these Diplock courts, even if it makes my life harder. VICTOR Well, you�re doing a good enough job of that yourself. Wasn�t enough just to defend them, no? JIM What do you mean? VICTOR Michael here wasn�t getting enough attention, so he�s taking a case against the RUC. Police brutality. Enough is never enough with you. JIM Christ sake. PENNY Oh, Michael. VICTOR You need to keep some friends. MICHAEL What does that mean? VICTOR It means you might need someone watching your back. MICHAEL I think I�m already being watched. Or, surveillance may be a better word for it. PENNY Cushla, do you want to help me gather the rest of the glasses? CUSHLA Yeah. PENNY I forget you work in a bar. CUSHLA Have Victor and Michael always sparred like that? PENNY To some degree, yes, but it�s getting worse. Everything always looks so clear to Michael. It�ll do him no good in this town. Cushla. have you thought about the risk to yourself, if people find out about you and Michael? Or if you are with Michael and if, God forbid, anything should happen. CUSHLA We must have the courage to choose PENNY They�re his words. Not yours. CUSHLA Would your life be easier without me? Us? MICHAEL Easier? CUSHLA Safer, I suppose. MICHAEL I like us a lot. CUSHLA I should go. MICHAEL Are you sure? CUSHLA I�ll let you get ahead. I have a big day tomorrow. Communion. It�ll be the first time seeing the McGeowns in a while. MICHAEL These are for you. So you can come and go as you please, whether I�m here or not. CUSHLA Thanks. MICHAEL Thank you. For making my life immeasurably better. GINA Snap a wee one of me. God knows when I�ll look this good again. CUSHLA Beautiful. DAVY Miss Lavery! CUSHLA Don�t you look dapper, Davy. DAVY Thanks, Miss. CUSHLA Shall I take a wee photo? CUSHLA Cheese! Oh. DAVY Mummy! Mummy, let�s get a photo of all of us! CUSHLA Why don�t you move in there, Tommy? GINA Hey, Davy. DAVY Thank you, Mrs Lavery. BETTY Yes, thank you. Too generous. GINA Sure, he�s a wee dote. Look at you. BETTY We best get on. Get your Daddy out of this chaos. CUSHLA It wasn�t me that called the social. It was Bradley. TOMMY I told Mum you wouldn�t be that nice to us and then report us. CUSHLA Yeah. TOMMY I�m labouring now, with my cousins. CUSHLA I�ll drop a couple of books round. If you keep reading, all will not be lost. TOMMY Yes, Miss. MICHAEL Why does Jimmy have the egg in his pocket? CUSHLA I don�t know. MICHAEL You�ve caught the sun. CUSHLA You haven�t. MICHAEL Who�s that man? CUSHLA That�s my wee peeler from the school disco. My suitor. MICHAEL Thanks for the whiskey. Gentlemen, I�m in need of your assistance with the crossword. Here, Minty, help me out, would you? MICHAEL Why would your disco peeler be in the pub? CUSHLA Well, Gerry reckons he has eyes for me. There�s nothing to be jealous over. MICHAEL Christ, Cushla, this is serious. You need to tell me if he comes in again. CUSHLA Could it not just be a coincidence? MICHAEL There are no coincidences in Belfast. CUSHLA I saw a car outside your flat the other night. MICHAEL Did he get your number plate? CUSHLA If he wanted it. MICHAEL Did he follow you home? CUSHLA No. CUSHLA Happy birthday, Jim. JIM Thank you, Cushla. Michael, do us a favour. Grab that chair. MICHAEL Alright. PENNY Oh, this is Mrs Coyle, and we could not live without her. Mrs Coyle, this is our friend Cushla. CUSHLA I�ll just give you a hand. MRS COYLE You�ve done this before. CUSHLA We have a bar. MICHAEL How�s the other woman in my life? MRS COYLE Oh, hi. MICHAEL Cushla, this is the lady responsible for the hospital corners and the shiny brasses in my flat. How are you? MRS COYLE I�m alright. He rang me. He�s not recognising the court. MICHAEL It�s okay, I�m gonna speak to him this week. MAN Michael. MICHAEL Pleased to see you. How�s things? MAN Not too bad. MICHAEL Good. Hey, look. There�s Jim. CUSHLA Beautiful. MICHAEL You look beautiful, Penny. Marjorie. MARJORIE How are you? MICHAEL Grand. How are you? MARJORIE Good, good. MICHAEL Cushla, this is Marjorie. Marjorie. MARJORIE Pleased to meet you. MICHAEL See you later. MICHAEL How are you two getting along? CUSHLA Great. Fenian Corner we�re calling it, aren�t we? JIM Michael! CUSHLA Jesus, don�t tell me you�ve a party piece. MRS COYLE Oh, go on, you two. Let me get back to work. CUSHLA Come on. CUSHLA You�re full of surprises. MICHAEL Why the fuck are you crying? CUSHLA You know, your language has really deteriorated since you met me. MICHAEL What is it? CUSHLA The song made me sad. MICHAEL You Catholics and your high emotions. Come on, let�s go inside. CUSHLA I have not got one word left in me for those people. MICHAEL Let�s go home, yeah. I�ll go and get my jacket. CUSHLA We�re sneaking away, Mrs Coyle. MRS COYLE I wouldn�t let any of them ones look down on me. I clean for some of them. Dirt birds. CUSHLA Now I wanna stay and hear every minging detail. MICHAEL Right, let�s go. CUSHLA See you later. MICHAEL I�ll phone you tomorrow. MRS COYLE Okay, thank you. MICHAEL Come on, let�s go. CUSHLA Here, what�s the craic with Mrs Coyle? MICHAEL Her son�s in trouble. He�s been identified in a line-up. CUSHLA It�s that case? Do you think you can help? MICHAEL Only if he accepts the services of a lawyer. The IRA men he�s on remand with are telling him not to recognise the court. CUSHLA Sorry. It�s your night off. MICHAEL Mm, it is. CUSHLA Come on. MICHAEL Oh! CUSHLA What would Sally Bowles sound like if she were Irish? CUSHLA I am not reading Irish to you. MICHAEL Come on. CUSHLA No, not as Sally, and not as me. MICHAEL Just one line. One line. CUSHLA Fuck sake. Si�d � in airde d'fhuip, sin � do l�ir amuigh. MICHAEL Do you have any idea how sexy that sounds? CUSHLA You have a Fenian fetish. I don�t blame, you when the alternative is shagging a woman that answers to the name Marjorie. MICHAEL You don�t miss much, do you? That was an age ago, before I knew they made women like you. CUSHLA What does Marjorie like you to do to her? MICHAEL You really don�t wanna know. CUSHLA I really do. MICHAEL I�ll not be able to contact you for a while. Or be here at the flat. CUSHLA Incommunicado. Must be serious. Mrs Coyle is gonna love you forever. MICHAEL Morning. CUSHLA Morning. CUSHLA Don�t take any needless risks. I want you back in one piece. You are a brave man that I can wait for. GERRY I�m gonna go check on them. CUSHLA Best of luck, Gerry. GERRY Yeah, I�ll need it. DAVY I found a wee fella for you, Miss. CUSHLA Let me see. You know, I have a friend who has a book, and in it, it says if you can turn a bluebell inside out without tearing it, you get the one you love. Isn�t that nice? DAVY Yeah. CUSHLA Yeah. Can you take some photographs for me? DAVY Yeah. CUSHLA Yeah? On you go. GERRY Sean was chasing Zoe with a used condom on a stick. CUSHLA That�s him flirting. GERRY Charming. What or who has you charmed? CUSHLA Nobody. GERRY Tell me. CUSHLA No. GERRY Somebody called you Easter Sunday. CUSHLA Okay. I�ll tell you. But you have to swear to God not to tell a soul. GERRY I swear. CUSHLA It�s Brian Faulkner. GERRY Fuck away off. CUSHLA It is! That�s why I couldn�t tell anyone! GERRY So, you�re saying I'm still in with a chance then? Fancy coming to a wedding with me, this Saturday, in Belfast? CUSHLA Aye, go on. DAVY I hope the bluebell works out for you, Miss. REPORTER Somebody somewhere is determined that the ceasefire, which has held so precariously so far, will not be. CUSHLA Has your wee mate gone home? PRIVATE HARRIS You�ll be happy to hear he got blown up. CUSHLA Nobody here�s happy when anyone gets blown up. OTHER SOLDIER Except the IRA. PRIVATE HARRIS You�re all ungrateful animals. We should just go home and let you murder each other. CUSHLA I�m sorry about your friend. GINA Gerry�s eyes will be on stalks. Well for you out galivanting again. Nothing like a good wedding. CUSHLA Don�t do that Mummy. GINA What? CUSHLA Feel sorry for yourself. GINA If I don�t feel sorry for myself, who will? Not you. I�d get more sympathy from a shoe. You don�t know what it�s like to lose someone you love. CUSHLA Yeah I do, Mummy. He was my Daddy, so. GINA Well, at least I�ve got the bottle to keep me company. CUSHLA I�m not even giving you an audience. GINA What does that mean? CUSHLA It means that I�m gonna stay in Gerry�s tonight, because I can�t be bothered to come home and find you bleeding out in the bath. GINA I�ve got nothing to look forward to! Nothing! CUSHLA If you do your nails instead of getting plastered tonight, I�ll take you for a fancy lunch in the hotel tomorrow, okay? GERRY The hotel they booked got firebombed last week. Poor fuckers. Deccy! DECCY Gerry, what�s the craic? MAN I�m very proud of our Kathleen. She�s been a busy, happy wee thing since the day she was born. You better look after her, or you�ll be getting a visit GERRY You look like you might cry. Are you thinking about your upcoming nuptials with Brian Faulkner? CUSHLA He�d never settle for a leisure centre. GERRY I reckon he�d settle for anything at the moment. MAN Alright, alright. I�ll read the telegrams first. This one�s from Derry. It came through the window wrapped round a brick! CUSHLA That�s Martin Gallagher! GERRY I know exactly who he is. CUSHLA I taught his wee lad Luke in teacher training. GERRY He asked if he could send a couple of boys round to cement sherry trifles into the wall of my garage. CUSHLA Jesus, Gerry. What did you say? GERRY I says, I haven�t got a garage. He asked after you. Says he knew I wasn�t your boyfriend. How the fuck would the IRA know that? CUSHLA Look, I�m gonna get a taxi. GERRY No, I�ll take you. I�m done dancing. CUSHLA Can you drop me somewhere? GERRY Within reason. GERRY My imagination�s running overtime, Lavery. CUSHLA Thanks. GERRY Fucking Martin Gallagher�s sticking his neb in, and now we�re here, in enemy territory. CUSHLA It�s Brian�s love nest. GERRY We live here. There are things we cannot do. CUSHLA Intriguing, what kind of things can Gerry Harkin GERRY Cushla, this kind of secrecy always blows up. The wrong people are asking after you. Forget about getting your heart broken. You�re risking much more than that. CUSHLA I�ll see you Monday, Gerry. GERRY Yeah, I bloody hope so. CUSHLA Thank you. DRIVER No bother, love. DISCO PEELER Morning. Big night out, was it? CUSHLA Er. just at a wedding in Belfast. Stayed with a friend. DISCO PEELER Ah. Lucky friend. Do I know him? CUSHLA Might�ve been a girl. DISCO PEELER Was it? SGT. REID Everything alright, Cushla? DISCO PEELER Ah. Sergeant Reid. Yeah, all good here. It was you I was coming to see, actually. CUSHLA I�m gonna take my mummy for lunch. CUSHLA Lavery. MAITRE D The table for ten? CUSHLA There must be a mistake. MAITRE D Sorry, yes. There�s a Lavery table for two also. Follow me. EAMONN I didn�t expect to see yous here. GINA Obviously. EAMONN It�s, er. Marian�s Mummy�s birthday. MARIAN Will yous come and join us? GINA You�re alright, thanks. GROUP Happy birthday dear Granny, happy birthday to you. CUSHLA Shall we go? GINA Aye. GINA Ach, how are you, Michael? We met at the Anchor. Our family bar. MICHAEL Hello Mrs Lavery. How are you? GINA Call me Gina. MICHAEL This is my wife, Joanna. GINA This is my daughter, Cushla. JOANNA Very pleased to meet you, Cushla. This is our son, Dermot. Dermot, say hello to Cushla. DERMOT Hello. CUSHLA Hello. GINA No need to introduce you to Michael. CUSHLA We really better be going on, but, um, enjoy your lunch. GINA What must Michael and Joanna think of us, sitting at separate tables? What�s got into you? No harm to you, but I�m foundered. Are you going to go get the wee car? COMMENTATOR And now, ladies and gentlemen, we move on to the ever-popular swimwear round. GINA Get that, Cushla. I can�t move. CUSHLA Just leave it. DAVY Can we write to Jimmy Savile, Miss? Miss? CUSHLA What? DAVY I said can we write to Jimmy Savile? CUSHLA What in God�s name would you be writing to him for? SEAN Jim�ll Fix It, it�s a new programme on TV. I heard he makes children�s wishes come true. CUSHLA Fine. Might be good practice. CUSHLA Okay. Okay, you start with your address in the right-hand corner. SEAN Doesn�t that mean they�ll know where you live? CUSHLA That�s not always a bad thing. CUSHLA Dear Jimmy. I hope you are keeping well. Things are fine here. The school holidays begin next week and I will be off work for two months. I had intended to spend the summer slinking round Michael Agnew�s flat, making myself irresistible to him, so he�d leave his wife. Only his wife is a lady, and they appear to be happily married, and he is a lying, cheating, philandering fucker. Wishes are for children and fools. Yours sincerely, Cushla Lavery, age 24 and three quarters. GERRY Trouble in paradise? CUSHLA Frig off, Gerry. GERRY You need to be saved from yourself. Come to France with me and my friends for the summer. We�ve a lead on some bar work. Cushla. let me in. CUSHLA Doesn�t matter. It�s over. GERRY Was he married? Was he a Prod? CUSHLA Look, since we�re asking questions, what were you doing out by the lough in the middle of the night? GERRY Wasn�t me. CUSHLA Yeah it was, Gerry. I know what I saw. Is this anything to do with Martin Gallagher? Look, Gerry, are you in trouble? GERRY No disrespect, Cushla, but who the fuck are you to be demanding answers from me? CUSHLA Just leave it off the hook, Mummy. GINA Excuse me. I might have someone calling. I assume it�s Gerry you don�t wanna talk to. Well, if you ask me, he was never good enough for you. Here. Steak always helps. Your Daddy and I used to have a steak every Monday night when we first married. Just to spite the week ahead. CUSHLA Yeah, well, I�m home every evening now. Given up the pub shifts, so let�s reignite the tradition. GINA Oh, will you just talk to the wee puke? MICHAEL What happened at the hotel was appalling. CUSHLA Yeah. Because I thought that you were going missing to save Mrs Coyle�s son. MICHAEL I know. I�m sorry. I knew you thought it was work related. CUSHLA I never thought about her much. And when I did, I pictured somebody else. Like a wizened wee hag, or some auld doll that needed her roots done. You�re a fucking coward. And you�re always banging on about bravery. She held my fucking hand, Michael. MICHAEL She�s not well, Cushla. CUSHLA She seems perfect to me. MICHAEL Sometimes she�s well enough to do things. Dermot had just finished his A-levels, and so we. we all went out for lunch. But she has long-term clinical depression, and she�s been in hospital the last few months getting electric shock treatment. CUSHLA Is that why you could see so much of me? MICHAEL She came home the day after I last saw you. It�s a bloody mess. I want to be with you. But I can�t leave Joanna. CUSHLA Why not? I�m the one that�ll take the brunt of it. You�ll keep your job, your friends, your life. MICHAEL I can�t leave, cause I ruined her life. CUSHLA How? MICHAEL Joanna was studying law in Dublin when I got her pregnant. And. after the birth, she was never right. Never. And she just got worse and worse. She can�t live on her own, and I cannot ask Dermot to give up his life for her, because he would. CUSHLA Do you sleep with her? MICHAEL No. We share a bed, but there hasn�t been sex for years. CUSHLA Have you had many affairs? MICHAEL Three. CUSHLA Including me? MICHAEL This is not an affair. This is different. CUSHLA How? MICHAEL Because I love you. I love you, Cushla, and whatever happens, I�ll never, ever lie to you again, I promise. I didn�t expect to fall in love, and I do not expect you to give up your life for me. You�d make a wonderful, wonderful wife and mother, but I, I can�t give you any of that. MICHAEL Do you want to stop seeing me? CUSHLA No. God help me, I don�t. MICHAEL There is so much that we can do. There�s this, oh, it�s beautiful. There�s this cottage in Donegal, and we can go there at the end of the summer. And we�ll see God in the skies. We can take trips away, long weekends. Go to Amsterdam, Barcelona. CUSHLA This is gonna end really badly, isn�t it? MICHAEL It doesn�t have to. JIMMY Cushla! CUSHLA Jimmy. FIDEL There�s our girl. CUSHLA Hello, hello, hello. Eamonn, what can I do for you? What needs to be done? EAMONN Just throw out a few pints, and keep me company. FIDEL You�re actually doing an impression of Mike Yarwood doing an impression of Frank Spencer. [LAUGHS] EAMONN I�m missing my daughters growing up because of these eejits CUSHLA You love it. EAMONN They�re a good laugh. Sometimes it�s like it used to be. CUSHLA Here. Finish this film. EAMONN Alright, lads, photograph time, come on. That�s it, like, one together. Alright, Michael. MICHAEL Eamonn. EAMONN Come on, Jimmy, let�s go, come on. CUSHLA Can you not stay away from me? MICHAEL It appears so. Come to the flat on Thursday. I want you bring more of your things. CUSHLA I will, if I survive sports day. MICHAEL I love you. CUSHLA You better, Agnew. MICHAEL So, we�re alright then? CUSHLA We�re doomed. Apart from that, we�re grand. DAVY Mummy! Mummy! I won, Mummy! I won. I won, I won! BETTY Well done, darling! DAVY I put my head down and I ran like the clappers. BETTY Did you? CUSHLA He outran them all, Betty. I wish you could�ve seen him. BETTY I�ll put the kettle on. CUSHLA Yeah? BETTY Aye. Go and tell Daddy. DAVY Daddy! Daddy, I won! DAVY Look, Daddy. CUSHLA Davy played an absolute blinder. SEAMUS He�s a good lad. BETTY Aye, pity we can�t say the same about the other one. CUSHLA Tommy? BETTY Aye, he moved out weeks ago. We hardly see him. What we do, he�s swaggering about with a few bob in his pocket, acting the big fella. CUSHLA Look, maybe it�s just a phase. SEAMUS I hope so. BETTY Show us your wee trophy. CUSHLA Mummy? I�m staying over at Gerry�s tonight. EAMONN The Anchor. CUSHLA Where�s Mummy? EAMONN She�s bloody here falling about the place. Come and get her. CUSHLA Ach, Eamonn, I have plans. EAMONN Now, Cushla! CUSHLA What�s going on? GINA Oh, love. CUSHLA What�s wrong with her? Hi. EAMONN Did you not hear? CUSHLA Hear what? EAMONN Michael Agnew was shot dead this morning.