ASTRONAUT BIG_RED BOBBY CANNONBALL COURTNEY CRAIG DUANE HANDLEBARB JAKE JESSICA JP KELSEY KIDS KIT KITS_DAD MAN MONSTER NATTHEW NICOLE NICOLE_CHANT RANDOM_KID ROB STACIE TABITHA WOMAN JAKE haha! aw man, halloween rules. we got so much candy tonight! ROB yeah, and we got to see natthew cry when he saw that kid dressed like a zombie. NATTHEW h-he was scary! JAKE natthew, he was five. ROB i mean, to be fair, we could see his brains. JAKE look at me, i’m natthew! i’m scared of everything! and my name is unconventional! NATTHEW natthew is a family name! and i’m not scared! JAKE are too! NATTHEW are not! JAKE well then prove it! i dare you to eat a pack of poppin’ pebbles… with soda. NATTHEW p-p-p-poppin’ pebbles? but they don’t stop poppin’ til your top pops off! JAKE i thought you weren’t scared, mr. family name! NATTHEW hmph! gimme that! NATTHEW i didn’t even wanna be a vampire… stupid group costume… NATTHEW there! look who’s a scaredy cat no— ROB whoa dude, are you okay? JAKE stop doing that with your head, man! TABITHA boom!!! TABITHA and his head guts went everywhere! and then his thoughts splattered all over the trees! and all the other kids were emotionally scarred for life! and that’s the legend of no neck natthew! KELSEY whoa, i can’t believe it… his name was natthew? with an n?! CRAIG that didn’t really happen… did it? COURTNEY oh, it totally happened. ask anyone in herkleton. hey! you ever heard of no neck natthew? MAN yes. now can you please finish making my smoothie? COURTNEY yeah yeah, hold your horses! TABITHA look, if you wanna find out for yourselves, just go into the creek. because… every halloween… the ghost of no neck natthew returns to punish those who trade tricks for treats and steal innocent children’s sweets! and you’ll recognize him even on the darkest night, because in place of his exploded head… is a pumpkin of light!! MAN so where’s my fruity fiber blaster? COURTNEY oh, power’s out. KELSEY i have done it… i have forged a blade… fit for a bird! JP check it out! i’m keeping my costume a secret, but you might say it’s pretty… dino- mite! to guess would be… im-fossil-ble! i’m a dinosaur. CRAIG a little dab of this… a little staple of that… ah! you know what i love about halloween? KELSEY we can threaten adults for candy, and the cops can’t do nothin’ about it? CRAIG no. JP we can eat our weight in candy, and the cops can’t do nothin’ about it! CRAIG no! it’s that for one night, the whole neighborhood is like the creek! we get to run wild and be whoever we want to be! CRAIG and i have put together the best halloween costume in herkelton history! wait right here! JP so… what do you think he’s dressed as? KELSEY i dunno, a map or something. CRAIG vroom vroom vroom! mmm, pastrami sandwich please! KELSEY what are you? you… you a werewolf? who runs track? CRAIG no. JP you’re a map! CRAIG no! i’m slide the ferret! from video games, comics and those high speed internet commercials. KELSEY oooooh yeeeeah. JP so you’re not a map! CRAIG argh, it’s the ears! i’m missing the ears! we’re going to the trading tree! CRAIG hey kit. i was wondering what you had to trade in the fake ear department? KIT ah, craig! just in time. KIT alright, everybody! listen up! i know we’re all excited to trick or treat tomorrow night! KIDS RANDOM KID trick or treating! woo! KIT which means: ya’ll will be gettin’ a ton of candy! RANDOM KID yeah! cavities! KIT and that means… it’s time to pay off your debts! KIDS huh?! RANDOM KID yeah! crushing debt! KIT that’s right! so every time one of ya’ll said “i need a chocoroll, i’ll pay you back” or “i’m so thirsty, can i just get a soda… and five bags of chips?” KIT well now’s the time to pay up! CRAIG heh heh, i’m prety sure we can’t owe that much… can we? KIT think again, chocoroll williams! if you can’t pay off your tab by the day after halloween, you’ll be banned from the trading tree forever. HANDLEBARB woah! i didn’t realize my appetite was so extreme! KIT big red, you got a big bill! BIG RED huh?? hey kid! gimme your candy! BIG RED hnmph! KELSEY if this is our debt, i can only imagine what bobby has to pay. BOBBY i never trade beyond my means. let’s just say the trading tree isn’t the only way i get my candy— bah! my candy… JP aw man. how are we supposed to get all this candy in one night? CRAIG there’s only one way. by trick or treating harder than we’ve ever trick or treated before. CRAIG okay, by using satellite imagery, candy collection data from previous halloweens, and some graph paper i got for my birthday. i’ve created the ultimate trick or treat route. JP woah! you make graphs of your candy?! KELSEY very nerdy indeed… question: why are we skipping mrs. grayson’s house? she always gives out full sized candy bars, craig! CRAIG but she also takes forever complimenting costumes. in the time it would take to get those full sized candy bars, we could hit up seven other houses. KELSEY hm, you’ve thought of everything. CRAIG unfortunately, i’ve run the numbers, and even with the shortcuts, we won’t be able to get enough candy to pay back kit. CRAIG we need to recruit another trick or treater. someone so adorable that no adult will be able to resist giving them extra candy. KELSEY you don’t mean…?! JESSICA eighty-five percent! CRAIG you’re not being very adorable right now, jessica. JESSICA i’m sowwy, craig, i didn’t mean it. CRAIG aww, jessica! i’m sorry— JESSICA see! i can turn it on and off just like that. you need me, craig! CRAIG look, jessica! with my route, you’ll get way more candy than you ever would if you went trick or treating with mom and dad. even split: 50/50. JESSICA 60/50. CRAIG that’s not how it works! JESSICA 80/50. CRAIG it has to add up to a hundred! JESSICA well 80/50 adds up to a happy jessica and that’s the only thing i want. CRAIG 50/50 and i’ll throw in the strawberry candies. JESSICA hmm… JESSICA make it cherry and we’ll have a deal. DUANE did i do that? DUANE i did. i did do that. NICOLE y’all ready to get your trick or treat on! trick or treat on! trick or treat on! trick-a-trick-a treat on! ha-ha-ha-hey! CRAIG what… what is this? NICOLE just lemme take your picture. DUANE look at you, baby girl! first ever doctor president! and my son-- squirrel man! CRAIG i’m slide. DUANE slide man! CRAIG right… well! anyway! gotta go! bye! DUANE okay, y’all be safe out there! and remember, don’t take any unwrapped candy-- ah, they heard me. NICOLE uh, duane. is this all the candy you got? DUANE oh, i got all caught up with decorating, i guess i forgot to get some more. but don’t sweat, my pet. i’m sure it’ll be fine. DUANE our first trick or treater! it has begun! BOBBY trick or treat! DUANE and what are you dressed as? BOBBY i’m bobby! DUANE a bobby! what a great bobby… you are. here ya go! one piece of candy for the bobby. happy halloween! DUANE well, you know, some kids just aren’t creative-- huh? BOBBY trick or treat! DUANE oh uh… hey… bobby. weren’t you just here? BOBBY that was just bobby. i’m bobby with a backpack. see? DUANE oooh… spooky. here’s another piece of candy. run along now… to another house. DUANE well, i’m sure that’s the last i’ll see of him. CRAIG whoaaaa! JP out of the cretaceous era comes… jp rex! KELSEY and i am the most fearsome warrior to soar the skies-- mortimor! ka-kaww! with kelsey! CRAIG vrooom! slide the ferret! catch me if you caaan! JESSICA and doctor president jessica williams! ready to heal this country… with candy. KELSEY awww! JP awww! CRAIG yeah, this is definitely gonna work… let’s get treatin’!!! CRAIG trick or treat! trick or treat! trick or treat! trick or treat!!!! JP trick or treat! trick or treat! trick or treat! trick or treat!!!! KELSEY trick or treat! trick or treat! trick or treat! trick or treat!!!! JESSICA trick or treat! trick or treat! trick or treat! trick or treat!!!! i’m doctor president, thank you for your candy contribrushuns. WOMAN awww. JESSICA your prescription… is to give me candy. KITS DAD aww. JESSICA my diagnosis is: you have something broken. it’s your political system. STACIE awww! CRAIG poppin’pebbles? i’ll hold onto these. CRAIG the lights are off. i guess nobody’s home, we gotta keep moving. KELSEY oh no we don’t, craig. KELSEY hey! open up! i know you’re in there! give us some candy! i see you! CRAIG oof! ASTRONAUT whoa! CRAIG oh, uh, i’m sorry. here, let me help. great helmet, by the way, astronaut. ASTRONAUT thanks, i like your shoes… slide. CRAIG oh! he knows who i am! KELSEY okay c’mon! let’s move! CRAIG uhh, here you go! see ya! NICOLE whew, better put this thing down, flip it and reverse it… DUANE oh, i’ll get it! DUANE hiddly-ho, tricker treaters— oh. BOBBY trick or treat! DUANE listen, bobby, i love seeing your variety of costumes, but don’t you think you’d want to maybe check out some other houses, save the candy for some other kids? BOBBY i believe i said: trick… or treat. DUANE okay! here you go! happy halloween! DUANE i don’t think i like this bobby… CRAIG okay, two minute break, then we cut through the creek. KELSEY feels good to breathe out of my nose again! JP oh man, i don’t know how the dinosaurs did this every halloween. JESSICA craiggy, i’m getting tired of being cute. CRAIG i know, but we’re making good time. we need to stick to the plan if we want to be able to pay back kit. CANNONBALL CRAIG huh?! HANDLEBARB sweet skidmarks! i thought we’d never make it out of the creek alive! CRAIG 10 speeds? what’s going on? CANNONBALL we were taking a short cut through the creek, and we ran into… HANDLEBARB no neck natthew! CRAIG no way. JESSICA what’s a no neck natthew? CANNONBALL a vengeful ghoul who only visits this earth to take the fun out of halloween. he had a big pumpkin head, glowin’ eyes… HANDLEBARB and he stole our candy! HANDLEBARB whatever you do, don’t go into the creek! see ya guys. KELSEY what are we gonna do?? CRAIG well, what are you guys more afraid of? being banned from the trading tree, or whatever’s in there? JESSICA monsters aren’t real, craig… but candy is. my vote’s for candy. CRAIG then we’re in agreement. let’s go. NICOLE CHANT boy oh boy, my bladder’s full-uh, watch me sidestep to the bathroom, won’t ya? work it! DUANE oh no… DUANE uh, uh, baby? can you get the door? NICOLE didn’t you hear my song? i’m in the bathroom! BOBBY trick or treat! DUANE uh… sorry, bobby, we’re out of candy. you took it… you took it all! BOBBY no treat? well then… i guess you want a trick. DUANE i gotta get to the store fast! JESSICA it feels too quiet, craiggy. CRAIG astronaut kid, it’s you. ASTRONAUT hey, slide. sorry about that. i startle easily. but luckily in space no one can hear you scream? CRAIG it’s alright. i’m just glad that you’re not trying to steal our candy! you’re not, right? ASTRONAUT no, i was just trying to cut through the creek to get to the other houses. CRAIG us too. we heard there’s something in the woods taking kids candy. ASTRONAUT what kinda something? CRAIG the ghost of no neck natthew. ASTRONAUT what? JESSICA that guy? ASTRONAUT huh? MONSTER CRAIG jessica! CRAIG let’s get out of here! DUANE can’t believe it. i gotta go out and get more candy because of one kid. one scary kid… DUANE huh?! DUANE this is ridiculous! this kid’s got me scared in my own car. i’m a grown man. i ain’t trippin’ over no trick. BOBBY trick or treat. CRAIG it was him! it was no neck natthew! ASTRONAUT natthew? JP it’s a family name. CRAIG handlebarb was right! ASTRONAUT handlebarb? JP it’s a family name. CRAIG at least we made it out with our candy! JESSICA oh no! my candy’s gone! it took my candy! ASTRONAUT houston, we have a problem. CRAIG ugh! that was like seventy percent of our debt! we gotta go back for it! JP okay, craig, i’ll fight a lot of things for candy: a shark, a two headed gorilla-gator, even a baby, no questions asked, happy to fight a baby. but i draw the line at ghosts! KELSEY well it’s not a ghost, because if it was, the amulet that that strange magician gave me to detect ghosts would’ve gone off and it didn’t! ASTRONAUT yeah, i agree with the bird knight. that can’t be natthew, it’s gotta be just some kid in a costume. CRAIG well, costume or not, we need that candy to pay off kit. we’ve gotta get it back. JESSICA plus it’s treason! CRAIG you’re just saying words, aren’t you? JESSICA proclamation medication! KELSEY just leave it to us. me and little kelsey are gonna have a word with this “natthew”… a violent word! ka-kaw!! ka-ka-ka-kaw!! ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-kaw-kaw! CRAIG kelsey! wait! KELSEY ka! ka! ka! ka! ka! ka! ka! ka! ka! KELSEY okay, you’re the kelsey tonight. so this battles is yours! KELSEY go!!! KELSEY never send a bird to do a bird’s job. KELSEY hey! you masked whoever you are! feel! my! wrath! ka-ka-kaw! ka-ka-ka-kaw! ka-ka-kaw! ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-kaw-- CRAIG kelsey! KELSEY peck! ASTRONAUT oh no! CRAIG kelsey! are you okay? KELSEY alright, kid! the jig is up! DUANE okay, i lost the car, but i got the candy! BOBBY trick or treat… trick or treat… BOBBY trick or treat… trick or treat… BOBBY trick or treat… trick or treat… trick or treat!!! DUANE nicole! help! NICOLE duane! i need help getting back in my bag! BOBBY trick or treat! trick or treat! DUANE here! just… just take it all! BOBBY my candy! NICOLE well, there you are. didn’t you hear me calling you? DUANE bobby! it’s bobby! he’s gonna-- BOBBY happy halloween! BOBBY another year’s supply of candy… NICOLE so, where’s the candy you went to pick up? and where’s the car?!? KELSEY i can’t believe that thing is actually a ghost! cheap piece of junk from that old magician! CRAIG over there! KELSEY forget paying back kit! we’re not gonna make it out of the creek alive! JP might as well have one last piece of candy then. i guess it’s time for my last meal. JESSICA now i’ll never grow up to be a real doctor president. ASTRONAUT no, you can’t give up. no one should be robbed of their right to enjoy halloween. this is the one night of the year where you can be who you want to be… eat what you wanna eat… and it won’t last forever. CRAIG you’re right! this candy is ours! halloween is ours! and we’re not giving it up without a fight! ASTRONAUT p-p-p-p-poppin’ pebbles? CRAIG it’s the only way to stop him. we just need a little soda to activate them. KELSEY but where are we gonna get the bubbles?! CRAIG the trading tree. i’ll keep no neck natthew busy while you guys create the biggest fizz bomb you can! CRAIG yo candy butt! catch me if you can! KELSEY alright! let’s book it! KELSEY may kit forgive us! ASTRONAUT hup! KELSEY jackpot. MONSTER rah! MONSTER rawwwwr! CRAIG take a swing at this! MONSTER rawr! CRAIG rail grind! yeaaahhh! oof! KELSEY slide! slide!! JESSICA take two of these and call me dr. president! Jp big red?! Kelsey big red?! CRAIG big red?! JESSICA who? JP did you get eaten by no neck natthew?! BIG RED huh? there was never a no neck natthew, fossil butt! it was me! i was just trying to pay off my debt to kit… CRAIG by stealing other kids’ halloween candy? JESSICA that’s treason! ASTRONAUT how dare you… how dare you ruin the good family name of natthew! BIG RED what’s it to you? it’s just a fake story! ASTRONAUT a fake story? i’d suggest you return all the candy you stole tonight, or you’ll find out just how real no neck natthew is. BIG RED n-n-no neck natthew?!? CRAIG you’re… him. but what are you doing here? ASTRONAUT i missed out on my halloweens… you can’t really eat candy without a head. so every year, i come back to help other kids enjoy their trick or treating. KELSEY but the witches said you only appear to punish bad trick or treaters… ASTRONAUT people also say i wear a pumpkin. don’t believe everything you hear. and don’t worry about paying back your friend. CRAIG huh? ASTRONAUT thanks for helping me protect halloween. JP candy!!! KELSEY holy moly! it’s all full sized bars! JP oh man! these are huge! CRAIG ha! there’s enough here for us to pay back kit and keep our candy! thanks… natthew? DUANE hey! y’all want a ride? there’s some strange kids out here tonight… JESSICA ugh! tell me about it! DUANE woah, that’s a lot of candy! looks like you kids had a better night than me, heh… JP yeah, we saw a headless ghost kid! i think… JESSICA and i tricked all the grown ups into giving me extra candy, and made a soda bomb, and saw a spaceboy dissappear… DUANE sounds fun! hey, uh, you don’t hang out with that bobby kid, do you? CRAIG huh? [Type text]0[Type text]0[Type text]