BOBBY CANNONBALL COURTNEY CRAIG CUSTOMER DAVID END_TITLE_SONG JESSICA JP KELSEY MAYA OMAR SONG STACKS TABITHA VANESSA KELSEY maketh way! maketh way! JP we have found another puzzle cube! CRAIG and we are here to celebrate our victory with smoothies. OMAR extra large please! COURTNEY uh… how ’bout some free samples? what flavor do you want? CRAIG ah yes-- JP choco nut! KELSEY blood blast! OMAR cantaloupe horchatta! CRAIG (*squished) just a blueberry for me. COURTNEY coooool, didn’t catch any of that. (*yells) hey newbie! get out here and make some samples for our customers! DAVID welcome to the smoothie groovy! oh i mean… what haths brought-teth ye weary travelers upon this potion haven? COURTNEY much better. CRAIG elder david? what are you doing here? DAVID oh, it’s not “elder” david anymore! i’m now dark emperor david! CRAIG wuh? DAVID i’m goth now! being an elder of the creek seemed cool and all, but tabitha and courtney helped me realize that i was suppressing my true self. plus i get to use blenders! a little strawberry candy: my signature secret ingredient! CRAIG whoa, i can’t believe david really left the creek. KELSEY well now he’s just a smoothie wizard. that’s still cool. OMAR pretty sure wizards don’t work nine to five. JP man, do you guys think we’ll ever get jobs and stuff? and lose our childlike wonder? TABITHA oh, would you like to find out? peering into the future isn’t a difficult task for such powerful and gorgeous witches such as ourselves. CRAIG you can do that? COURTNEY well, duh! fetch us some tarot cards! TABITHA uh, what are these? DAVID bring out your beast cards? it’s all i got, but if you’re interested in learning how to play-- TABITHA we’ll make them work. come now children and gather ’round, for in these cards, your futures will be found. TABITHA the cat… with two cannons for legs… two halves will find themselves at odds. COURTNEY the berry with an arm…? i see a strong leader and many antioxidants. TABITHA the… the… this guy. what are these cards? COURTNEY you will dwell in the world of the strange. TABITHA and the monster truck card. a journey begins… SONG scuffing our feet down alien streets search for the words and call back to me: “no one here needs you to be anybody” no one here needs you to be anybody SONG scuffing our feet down alien streets search for the words and call back to me: “no one here needs you to be anybody” speed past the places where you grew up don’t ask about the friends that you blew off you burn gas, get that feeling every highway stop you’re lost fast in the shadows of your old self this shape, this frame, this silhouette don’t match with the portrait in your head it’s grown soft from too much forgetting an unfocused photo, a permanent negative scuffing our feet down alien streets search for the words… CRAIG wow! just like i drew it! bad moves t- shirts, designed by craig williams. my first official art commission that wasn’t from my mom! man, i can’t wait for everybody to see these tonight at herkle- fest. huh? VANESSA hey craig! CRAIG vanessa! great timing! uh, i’ve got the shirts and am ready to go. and by that i mean, can you pick me up now? VANESSA ugh, i can’t make it tonight. cheesesticks, come on! CRAIG what? but it’s herkle-fest! the greatest gathering of bands from the greater herkleton area! i mean, look! bad moves is playing! and… the witches are back from their highly successful world tour! VANESSA i know, but i literally can’t make it. i chained myself to a tree to protect it being chopped down by land developers. CRAIG couldn’t you just have written to your local congress person? VANESSA oh craig, you don’t know anything about environmental activism. oh! uh! they’re coming! have fun at the show! muwah! (*yelling off screen) you’ll never take this land!!! CRAIG dang, how am i going to get to the concert now? CRAIG please! can i use your car? JESSICA no. CRAIG but you can’t drive it! you’re twelve!!! JESSICA and you’re sixteen. if i managed to buy a car at my age, you should have, like, two of your own by now! now, we done? i’m in the middle of a call. CRAIG please! i just need some wheels! JESSICA hmm… wheels? CRAIG these weren’t the wheels i meant! CUSTOMER for the last time… this is the probiotic- peach blast, i ordered the yogurt-gut cleanse! i’d like to yell at your manager! JP ah-hem! hello, i am the manager! what seems to be the problem, sir? CUSTOMER he got my order wrong! heck, this place always gets the order wrong! JP yeah, no, i hear that. have you considered going somewhere else? CUSTOMER uh, well… i guess maybe i could. JP try “smoothie operators” at the mall. tell them jp sent ya! DAVID wow, another happy customer! way to go, boss. JP i’m just doin’ my job! all right, let’s close this place four hours early so we can go to herkle-fest! OMAR did someone say herkle-fest? JP omar! nice! OMAR dude, i’m burnt. why did i ever think that taking a job at a comic book shop would be a good idea? JP don’tcha just read comic books all day or something? OMAR yeah! you’d think that’d be sick, right? but if one more comic bro asks me who’s the strongest in the nexus league— ohh i’mma gonna lose it! JP so… who is the strongest? BOBBY hey, jp! are you guys still open? JP hey, bobby! you made it with a minute to spare! BOBBY whew, what a relief. i really don’t know what i’d do without my post-workout strawberry smoothie. JP uuuhh… oh sorry, we’re actually out of strawberries. BOBBY no… more… strawberries…? no! more! strawberries!!!!! OMAR whaa! DAVID alright, i’m off to go to herkel-- BOBBY my smoothieeeeeee!!!!!!!! OMAR (*yelling) how are we gonna get to herkle-fest now?! KELSEY sup, maya. MAYA sup, kels. big match today. how you feeling? KELSEY i’m ready to wreck some skulls on the mat, and then wreck some skulls in the pit at herkle-fest. MAYA that’s great, cuz… she’s here. KELSEY (*monologue) by scriggith’s name! lady stacks was just over yonder! KELSEY (*monologue) drowning in regret, kelsey couldn’t help but ponder about their huge fight last week. hath she come to mend their love—or end it? KELSEY what?! hold up! me and stacks are broken up, but craig is dating wildernessa?!? CRAIG more importantly – jessica gets rich?! JP it is very cool that i am a likeable boss. but i mean of course i would be, i’m a very empathetic soul… but is bobby going to explode us into oblivion?! OMAR yeah, i don’t wanna go out like that! TABITHA hey, that’s what the cards say. COURTNEY where were we? MAYA kels! earth to kelsey! i thought you said you were ready? KELSEY well i was before you told me she was here! whatever. let’s just do this. CRAIG gotta get these shirts to the show! time for a shortcut! CRAIG ha ha! i am a genius! whoa—aah! aaaahhhh!!! CRAIG ugh… what happened? oh no! the scooter! the concert! CRAIG oof! CRAIG ugh… i’m never gonna make it in time… your first chance at being a real artist, and ya blew it. CANNONBALL hey man… why you look’n so glum? CRAIG cannonball?! BOBBY yaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! JP w-would you like a goji berry smoothie instead? BOBBY no! i’m not leaving until i get my smoothie! JP aaaah! oh. phew. OMAR bruh, what are we gonna do? the herkle-fest is gonna start without us! JP uuh… oh my gosh! david! do you still have that candy from six years ago in your pocket? DAVID mmf. JP sweet! OMAR but bobby hasn’t had candy in years! who knows what a taste of processed sugar could do to him?! JP we’ve got no other choice! our friday night is at stake! JP put - a - lid on it!!!!!!! BOBBY yaaaaah!!!!! BOBBY mmm… my smoothie. KELSEY see ya guys! MAYA good job on that pin, big red! MAYA nice work today. don’t forget we have a tournament— KELSEY STACKS MAYA don’t blow it, kid. KELSEY KELSEY uh… stacks! uh, w-what are you doing here? STACKS KELSEY i’m sorry i said the “trials of trebulon” movie was better than the book! i-it still holds up like you said! STACKS oh kels, i was gonna apologize to you! i watched the movie again and you’re totally right! KELSEY wait… so you’re not mad? STACKS mad? who ever said i was mad? is that why you never texted me all week? KELSEY uh… so… you wanna be my date for herkle- fest? STACKS okay! KELSEY CANNONBALL i’m gonna go park my ride. i’ll meet you in there. CRAIG aw thanks, dude! uh, could you…? it’s a little tight. CRAIG you’re a life saver, man! CANNONBALL nah. i’m a cannonball. CRAIG here… are the shirts, kit! kit: dang, craig! ’bout time you got here! kit: well, well, well… just like you drew it. CRAIG heh, thanks. CRAIG wow… oh! uh… KELSEY CRAIG i-i-i’m sorry— wait… kelsey? KELSEY craig? OMAR see, man! that’s why i like you, bruh! JP oh… CRAIG hi. OMAR i ain’t seen you two in… ages. KELSEY yeah, true. JP hahaha, yeah… CRAIG hey guys… i know it’s been a while but you guys wanna maybe-- KELSEY oh they’re starting! uh, i gotta meet up with stacks! see… see ya’ll round? JP oh, sure thing… we’re gonna go grab some munchies before heading in, heh. OMAR see ya later! CRAIG yeah! yeah… see ya… CRAIG wait… that’s it?! we’re… not friends in the future? COURTNEY (*whispers) tabi! don’t crush these kids’ spirits! TABITHA look, what the cards say only comes true like 50 percent of the time. it’s more of a guidance thing. OMAR guys, it’s just one version of the future. i mean did you see my fit? that was dusty! i would never wear that! KELSEY yeah, our friendship is stronger than the fabric of time! JP absolutely! nothing can put a wedge in our friendship! not even a wedge! CRAIG y-yeah… we’ll stay friends till the very end! JP friends forever! OMAR friends forever! KELSEY friends forever! CRAIG friends forever! CRAIG yeah… CRAIG friends forever… END TITLE SONG no one here needs you to be anybody scuffing our feet down alien streets search for the words and call back to me: “no one here needs you to be anybody” [Type text]0[Type text]0[Type text]