ARIELLE ASSISTANT CAB_DRIVER CORY DAVID DR_KARN ELLIOT HARRISON HARRISONS_MOTHER LAUREN_OLIVER MARIA OLD_MAN OPERATOR RECEPTIONIST RORY RORY_COPY SUSANNE VERA VINCE VOICE WOMAN_1 WOMAN_2 OLD MAN Ah! ? Amazing grace ? ? How sweet the sound ? ? That saved a... HARRISON Restoril, Halcion, Silenor, Lunesta, Rozerem, Belsomra, Sonata, um... Uh Ambien, Edluar, Intermezzo. Uh, Benadryl. And then uh, stimulus control therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, sleep hygiene, relaxation training, and biofeedback. DR KARN Anything else? HARRISON Probably. DR KARN And none of these traditional forms of treatment have proven effective? HARRISON No, no. Um, that's actually why I'm here. DR KARN You know, what you described in your intake forms, a recurring dream, is not all that unusual a phenomenon in and of itself. HARRISON Well, I've had this dream 4,476 times. DR KARN Yes, that part is a bit unusual. HARRISON Have you ever encountered a condition like mine? DR KARN Well, most of my patients are suffering from more common sleep disorders. Insomnia, parasomnia, hypersomnias. HARRISON Right. DR KARN Most of my patients. To answer your question, yes, I have treated a few people who were experiencing symptoms like yours. HARRISON How like mine? DR KARN Very. There is a treatment I have administered in the past, a form of hypnosis, for lack of a better term, which greatly assisted those others I mentioned who were suffering from a similar defect. HARRISON Defect? DR KARN Sorry, poor choice of words. The treatment is very effective. It will eliminate your recurring dream. HARRISON You know that other therapists before, they said that they could help, but nothing ever changed. DR KARN I will help you. The dream will go away. But-- HARRISON But? DR KARN Unless we have a thorough understanding of why you are having it, after some time has passed, the dream will come back. HARRISON Okay, so how do we-- like you said, how do we figure out why I'm having it? DR KARN Well, we start by having you recount it for me in as much detail as possible. HARRISON It uh-- it takes place in the house where I grew up. DR KARN It can help sometimes to close your eyes. HARRISON Okay. So, like I said, I'm in the house where I grew up. I'm in the kitchen. My mom is there cooking dinner. She asks me if I can run and ask my dad if he remembered to get garlic when he went to the store. DR KARN Sorry to interrupt. Is this a memory? HARRISON I don't really know. I-- probably. I-- I used to watch my mom cook sometimes, but-- DR KARN Interesting. Go on. HARRISON Uh, eyes open or closed? DR KARN Up to you. HARRISON Uh, so then I run down the hallway to the bedroom. And my dad is there watching football on TV. DR KARN And? HARRISON And that's it. That's-- that's where I wake up. DR KARN It is extremely mundane. HARRISON There is one strange thing about it. DR KARN What is it? HARRISON It's this-- The thing is, before I get to the bedroom, the-- there is-- hanging from the ceiling is a red string. DR KARN An attic? HARRISON Yeah. DR KARN Why is that strange? HARRISON Because there was no attic in the house where I grew up. DR KARN You're certain of this? HARRISON Yes. DR KARN Could there have been one and you were just unaware of it? HARRISON I mean, I-- I lived in that house for 18 years. You know, I-- I ran up and down the hallway a thousand times. Um, when I was 14 or so and the dream was driving me fucking crazy, I actually got a ladder and I took a hammer to the ceiling right in that spot. I just tore open the dry wall, but you know, I didn't find anything. Just insulation and wood. DR KARN I see. HARRISON So, um, that's why I'm here. DR KARN Yes. It is. HARRISON Here. CAB DRIVER Thank you. VERA What? HARRISON I'm sorry to bother you. My name is Harrison Hardy. I'm moving in today. We spoke on the phone last week. I actually-- I have my security deposit here. VERA I don't remember. Oh yeah. I remember now. Ah, hold on. Ah, come with me. HARRISON What-- I thought you said it was furnished? VERA Well, there's a bed, fridge, toilet. What you fucking want? Martha Stewart? HARRISON No, you're right. It's great. It's uh-- it's perfect, actually. Um, where's the laundry room? VERA Basement. HARRISON Thanks. VERA See ya! HARRISON See ya. VERA Oh, did you hear or read anything about this building online? HARRISON Um, just that it was cheap and furnished. HARRISON Hmm. Fuck that. Fuck that. HARRISONS MOTHER Harrison, can you go ask your dad if he remembered to get garlic when he went to the grocery store? HARRISON Okay. It is half past 300. I'm gonna move your clothes. That's it. I cannot wait all day for this. 10 more minutes. 10 more minutes. I mean, would I be pissed? No. But then I would come and get my clothes out when they're done. You wouldn't leave them all day, they're just gonna get mildewy and gross. Yeah, all right. Yeah. I'd totally understand. I'd totally understand. I get it. I love that. Okay. MARIA Is that my laundry? HARRISON Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I was just-- I was gonna move it to the dryer. MARIA Are you okay? HARRISON Yeah, I-- sorry. I'm-- MARIA I'm Maria. You must be Harrison Hardy. HARRISON What? MARIA The new tenant in 429? HARRISON Um, yeah. MARIA I'm in 630. Right above you, two floors up. May I? HARRISON Oh yeah. Yeah. MARIA How are we liking the Lafayette so far? HARRISON Um, you know, it's a-- it's a little strange, to be honest. MARIA Hmm. So, where are you from, Harry? HARRISON Uh, Riverside. MARIA Oh, never been. Know anyone in the city? HARRISON Well, I know you. MARIA Well, I'm very interested to know how you ended up at the Lafayette. HARRISON Um, well, I just-- I was looking for a place that was cheap and furnished. MARIA Well, I know what it's like being new in town. You don't know anybody. Lonely, sad. Um, so, if you want to come up to my place later, maybe have some dinner, and some drinks, I can answer any questions you have about this place. HARRISON Oh yeah. I mean, yeah, that-- that-- that sounds great. That'd be really nice. MARIA You eat meat? HARRISON Yeah. Or unless you don't. I don't have to. MARIA I love meat. I'll make steaks. HARRISON Great. ELLIOT Good evening. MARIA Harry. HARRISON Hey. MARIA Come in. Welcome to my place. Would you like a tour? HARRISON MARIA Oh, you like that, huh? It's been in my family for generations. HARRISON Really? MARIA Mmhmm. No idea who it is, though. Probably great aunt Marion. HARRISON Interesting. Thanks. MARIA So why are you here? HARRISON Well-- well, you invited me over. MARIA At the Lafayette, I mean. HARRISON Oh. Uh, well, I-- I just found it online. I just needed something that was cheap and furnished. MARIA The Lafayette collects unusual people. HARRISON What? MARIA So what about you? What makes you unusual? HARRISON Wow, you're just-- you're like really direct, you know. It's um-- I mean, we just-- we just met. MARIA Right. HARRISON I mean, I-- I just don't really like to talk about it with anybody. Okay, well, it's-- Um, I have a-- I just have this like sleep thing. MARIA Sleep thing? What kind of sleep thing? Insomnia, sleepwalking, night terrors, apnea, restless leg syndrome? HARRISON Oh, no. It's just-- it's a dream. MARIA A dream? HARRISON It's a-- it's a recurring dream. I've had it about 5,000 times in my life. MARIA That seems like a lot. HARRISON Yeah. I mean, I think so. That's actually-- That's why I'm in the city currently. I'm-- I'm seeing this new therapist. He's supposed to be like one of the top um som-- somnambulists in the world. MARIA Somnambulist? HARRISON Sleep doctor. Yeah. MARIA What's the dream? HARRISON It's really weird. Uh, it's a-- It's this thing where I am-- I'm at-- I'm in the house where I grew up and then I-- it's just, I-- I-- I run to ask my dad something and then on my way to asking it, there's an-- I see this attic out of the corner of my eye, but there was no attic in the house where I grew up. Like I said, it's fucking weird. It doesn't make any sense. MARIA Ah, like the house on Ash Tree Lane. HARRISON What? MARIA So this therapist, he's gonna help you understand why you keep having the dream? Help you figure out what's in your non-existent attic? HARRISON Maybe. I mean, he said that he's helped people like me before, so... MARIA Well, I wonder if I could help you. HARRISON Well, I mean, I-- I really appreciate that but it's actually-- it's one of those things I've just um-- I've been struggling with it for a long time. I mean, it's kind of affected my entire life. MARIA Would you say that understanding your dream is the thing you want more than anything else in the entire world? HARRISON Sure. Maybe, or just not having it anymore. MARIA Have you tried acid? HARRISON What? No, why? You think that will help? HARRISON Oh, I don't really smoke, but thanks. Uh, do you mind if I use your restroom? Thanks. HARRISON Okay. HARRISON You're really pretty. Like an actress or something. MARIA I am an actress. HARRISON What, really? MARIA Mmhmm. HARRISON Have you been in anything I might have seen? MARIA No. HARRISON Cool. HARRISON It's-- MARIA It's getting late. HARRISON Oh yeah, no, you're right. I should uh-- I should probably get going. MARIA I didn't say you needed to go. Just making an observation. HARRISON Okay. MARIA Yeah, you probably should. HARRISON Yeah. MARIA I had a dream once. I was in a house on a beach and I was lying in bed. And I was so sure, absolutely, completely sure, that out on the sand outside this house was a black horse. MARIA I was so positive there was a horse out there even though there was no reason for there to be a horse. And so in the dream I just couldn't take it anymore. I got out of bed and I marched to the window and I looked out on the sand. HARRISON There was a horse? Cool. MARIA You can come over tomorrow night if you want. Maybe I can help you figure out what's in your dream attic. HARRISON Okay. MARIA Okay. Goodnight. HARRISONS MOTHER Harrison, can you go ask your dad if he remembered to get garlic when he went to the grocery store? HARRISON Hey, hey. Wait. Wait! HARRISON Okay, so I have some serious questions about this apartment complex. MARIA I bet you do. HARRISON Okay, first of all, room 408. There's like this weird sound coming out of that room, so I actually got closer to the-- I like touched the door. Ow! Jesus. MARIA I can't talk about 408. HARRISON Okay, well-- Really? Okay, well, this morning I was um-- I was up on the roof. There was this girl. MARIA Charmaine. HARRISON Yeah, she was um-- MARIA Singing? HARRISON Yeah. MARIA Mmhmm. HARRISON She was really good, too. But what was with the mask? MARIA Charmaine has the most beautiful face, so much so that anyone who looks at it, man or woman, they just fall head over heels in love with her. And so she wears the mask, so that people don't fall in love with her all the time. HARRISON Well, I mean-- I mean that's probably for the best then, you know. MARIA Yeah. HARRISON Um. Okay, last but not least, last night, there was a guy floating in the lobby. MARIA Elliot. HARRISON Yeah, so like what's-- what's his story? MARIA He floats. I have to pee. HARRISON He floats. Hey, you know, there's a-- here's a book in the middle of your floor. You might want to move it. It's kind of a hazard, don't you think? Someone could trip on it. MARIA I wouldn't do that if I were you. HARRISON Huh? MARIA A very powerful wizard used to live here before me. And when he left, he left this book. And he told me, if anyone were to read even one line from it, they'd drop dead on the spot. HARRISON And you really believe that? MARIA Didn't you hear me? I said, a very powerful wizard. HARRISON Ah, I don't know. I've heard you can have like a-- kind of a crazy reaction to it, kind of like lose your mind or something, so... MARIA Open. Okay. Open. Harry, don't you know I'd never let anything bad happen to you? HARRISONS MOTHER Harrison, can you go ask your dad if he remembered to get garlic when he went to the grocery store? HARRISON I can just wait for the next one. DAVID No. There is no next one. You spent the night with Maria last night? HARRISON How did you-- DAVID Her smell is on you. All over you. HARRISON But um, yeah, it was-- it was really good talking to you, man. So, let me just-- DAVID You too. HARRISON Catch you later. Oh, you're-- yeah, well-- Okay. DAVID So this is what the units on this side of the building look like. HARRISON Oh, yeah. Yup. Sorry, I don't have any beer or anything. DAVID Hey. I work at the Nature Center, downtown. You ever been? HARRISON Uh, no. DAVID Caretaker there. I look after the Arakan Forest Turtles. HARRISON Oh, sweet. Nice. DAVID Never heard of 'em? HARRISON No, I can't say I have actually. DAVID That's because they're one of the most endangered species on the planet. HARRISON Oh, well, then how many-- how many do you guys have at the Nature Center? DAVID Two. HARRISON Oh. DAVID Guess how many are left in the entire world. HARRISON Um-- DAVID Two. HARRISON Oh. DAVID The last two. HARRISON Wow, that's-- that's really sad. I mean, that, you know, that they're almost ex-- DAVID Don't say that. Come on. Be positive, man. HARRISON Yeah. Alright. DAVID But yeah, it's pretty goddamn sad. The two that we have are male and female, the actual last of this species. So as you can imagine, the most important aspect of my job is trying to convince them to breed. You know how stressful that is? [music begins] DAVID I got a lot of problems in my life, you know. Girls, money, health. It's easier to just leave my job at work and forget about it. But then I think, the continued existence of an animal that's been living on this planet for tens of thousands of years, it's my sole responsibility. What are my problems compared to that? I have to get those two turtles to fuck. It's the most important thing in the world. HARRISON Do they not want to? DAVID How the hell am I supposed to know? I can't exactly ask them. They're turtles. HARRISON Right. Oh, I'm just wondering if they seem uh, interested in each other. DAVID I do everything I can to make their surroundings as comfortable as possible. I put a little bed in their tank, you know? I put leaves on it. I tried playing sexy music for 'em, even. HARRISON Does any of that work? DAVID Hasn't yet. HARRISON Shit. I really hope that works out. DAVID You hope that it works out? HARRISON Yeah. DAVID You hope that this species continue to exist on this planet? How kind of you. Next time things are going bad for you, and you have some big problem that's so important, remember those turtles. HARRISON Okay. DR KARN The dream changed. HARRISON Just-- just a tiny, tiny bit. I-- I uh-- I glanced up at the string, directly at it. And that was it. DR KARN And this was right after your evening with what was her name? HARRISON Uh, Maria. DR KARN I see. HARRISON What do you think happened? DR KARN I don't know for certain. Your condition is very rare. HARRISON Condition? What? DR KARN Well, you're experiencing the dream symptom. Very... serious... illness. HARRISON It is? DR KARN Yes. And it-- I'm surprised it didn't occur to me earlier. HARRISON What? DR KARN Your whore friend, Maria. HARRISON What? What? What did you say? What did you just say? DR KARN What-- what's wrong? HARRISON It sounded like you-- Did you just call Maria a whore? DR KARN No, of course not. Why on earth would I have done that? I said, your friend Maria. HARRISON What about her? DR KARN Nothing. Nothing. It's just curious that-- that you would meet her now. The timing of it all. No matter. I think that on your next visit, we should start the treatment. I think you're ready. HARRISON The hypnosis? Okay. Um, I just thought you said you wanted to understand the dream better before we did that. DR KARN I think I do now. HARRISON One sec. Coming! Coming, coming, coming, coming. Hey. MARIA Aw. Cute place. HARRISON Thanks. I haven't really had a chance to have-- MARIA Have I told you about my friends Lauren and Oliver? They live in 201. HARRISON Um, no, I don't think so. MARIA Lauren's my best friend and Oliver, well-- Oliver's a fucking prick. HARRISON Yeah. MARIA You'll meet them soon. Lauren works for Rory Calhoun. You obviously know who that is. HARRISON Um, no, I don't, actually. MARIA And Oliver just loves the theater. I mean, you wouldn't expect it. So last month they came to see me at the center in Ruston. It was Cymbeline, but with lesbians. Actually now that I think about it, it's kind of ironic. Anyway, they brought Rory, and I guess Rory liked my performance and was super impressed with me. So he wanted me to send him something of me on tape, because he thinks I might be right for a role in his upcoming film. I mean-- HARRISON Oh wow. MARIA Can you believe that? HARRISON (OS) That's amazing. MARIA He's interested. HARRISON That's so cool. MARIA In me. HARRISON I'm sorry, but I don't know who he is. MARIA This is the most important thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. HARRISON Do you want me to help you make the video? MARIA Yes, I want you to help operate. HARRISON Okay, I don't really know how to do this, actually. MARIA Yeah, you press record, and then you press stop. And um, say uh, action. HARRISON Okay. MARIA Okay. Okay. HARRISON Wait. One second. MARIA How does it look? HARRISON Yeah, it look-- it looks great. Are you ready? And action. MARIA I was continuing to shrink. To become what? The infinitesimal? MARIA What was I? Still a human being. Or was I a man of the future? In that moment, I knew the answer to the riddle of the infinite. You see, I had thought in terms of man's own limited dimension. I had presumed upon nature. That existence begins and ends is man's conception, not nature's. And I felt my body dwindling. Melting. Becoming nothing. My fears melted away. And in their place came acceptance. All this vast majesty of creation. Surely, it had to mean something. And then I meant something, too. Yes. Smaller than the small, I meant something, too. MARIA Say cut. HARRISON Oh, cut. MARIA Mm. Oh, how was that? HARRISON I don't know what to say. MARIA Oh. HARRISON No, I think it was perfect. MARIA Really? HARRISON Yeah. MARIA Okay, well, if I need to do another take, I know where to find you. HARRISON I'll be here. MARIA Oh, now I have to go get ready for my party tonight. HARRISON Oh. MARIA Oh my God. I didn't tell you I'm having a party tonight, huh. HARRISON Um, no, I don't think so. MARIA Would you like to come to my party tonight? I would be honored. HARRISON Yeah, sure. MARIA Oh, great. HARRISON Oh, what time? MARIA We're gonna have so much fun. And now that I have this that I feel so much better. HARRISON What? What time? Oh Maria, you left your shoes. MARIA Simone, darling. Hi. HARRISON Hey. MARIA Thank you for coming. HARRISON Yeah, it looks great. MARIA Oh. Have you gotten a drink yet? HARRISON Uh, no, not yet. MARIA Hey, remember I told you about Lauren and Oliver? HARRISON Yeah. MARIA They're here. Do you want to meet them? HARRISON Sure. MARIA Come on. LAUREN OLIVER Yeah, she told me she was gonna be here-- MARIA Lauren? LAUREN OLIVER Hello, gorgeous. MARIA Hi. Hey, will Oliver be joining us? LAUREN OLIVER Yeah, 20 minutes or so, I reckon. MARIA Oh soon. LAUREN OLIVER Yeah. I can hear him whispering already. MARIA This is Harrison Hardy. The new tenant in 429. The one with the sleep thing. And this is Lauren Reitz. And this is Oliver Black. LAUREN OLIVER It is so nice to meet you, Harrison. Maria's told me such great things. HARRISON Uh, I'm sorry, Lauren Reitz and um, what was it? MARIA Oliver. HARRISON Oliver. MARIA Lauren shares her body with a 55-year-old British man named Oliver Black. LAUREN OLIVER 56. His birthday was last week. MARIA A Gemini? LAUREN OLIVER Yeah. HARRISON Well, then it's very nice to meet the two of you, I guess. LAUREN OLIVER Let me get you a drink. What do you want? A cocktail? HARRISON Um, just a beer is fine. LAUREN OLIVER Sure. HARRISON Thank you. MARIA Just a bit of advice. I wouldn't let them get you a drink. Lauren is trustworthy, but Oliver will roofie you. And I'd be careful what I say about one to the other. Because I'm not entirely sure what they can and can't hear, if you know what I mean. Isn't she cute? LAUREN OLIVER Here you go. HARRISON Thank you. LAUREN OLIVER So, welcome to Lafayette. Settling in? HARRISON Um, kind of, yeah. LAUREN OLIVER So tell me about this dream thing. Sounds interesting. HARRISON You know, I'd really rather not. It's uh-- it's pretty embarrassing. LAUREN OLIVER Come on. We're all a little embarrassing here. She's always trying to set me up with guys. I appreciate it, you know. But tell her she's got to stop. And I know she means well, but I'm a fucking lot to handle. HARRISON Oh, no. You seem great. LAUREN OLIVER It's really sweet of you to say. But you haven't met him. Tell me, though, if I wasn't possessed by an old British man, would you be attracted to me? HARRISON Uh... You're very pretty. LAUREN OLIVER Try to look on the bright side, you know? At least, I only have one interloper. I mean, I could be like Truddi Chase. He is the interloper, though, right? What does this body look like to you? HARRISON What? Uh, it-- You look like a young woman. LAUREN OLIVER A beautiful young woman? HARRISON Um, I'd say so, yes. LAUREN OLIVER There you go. He does like to watch me have sex. It makes it really hard to focus. I'm gonna go get another. You want one? HARRISON I'm good, yeah. Thank you. WOMAN 1 Pardon me. Have you seen my sister? I can't seem to find her anywhere. HARRISON No, um, I'm sorry, I can't. I don't know where your sister is. LAUREN OLIVER Look at this. WOMAN 2 Hey. LAUREN OLIVER Oh fuck. HARRISON You smoking inside? LAUREN OLIVER Fuck is it to you? Oh, if it ain't the prick who's scheming to get into Little Lauren's knickers. Let me save you the fucking sweet talk. Take a slam dunk, will you? Oh, come on. HARRISON Oh stop, don't do that. Don't-- LAUREN OLIVER Take a sniff. Yeah, sniff it. HARRISON Come on. Wow, you must be Oliver. LAUREN OLIVER And you must be, who gives a fuck. HARRISON Okay, so when you're here, Lauren is completely unavailable? LAUREN OLIVER What do you care? HARRISON I-- I just enjoyed talking to her. She seems nice. LAUREN OLIVER She's a cunt just like you. HARRISON Okay, well, she seems nice. LAUREN OLIVER Oh yeah, you know better than me, wouldn't you? What you've known her, 30 minutes, and I've been inside of her 30 years. HARRISON How you been inside her that long? LAUREN OLIVER Got another fag, fag? HARRISON It must be really hard. LAUREN OLIVER Yeah, of course it's hard. What, you think I like giving blowjobs and being buggered? What, I look like a fucking homo to you? What I want to do is shove my cock up her friend Maria's arse and make her scream. HARRISON Okay. LAUREN OLIVER But guess what? I ain't got no cock. What about you? You aren't horny? Really? HARRISON Whoa, whoa, stop. Hey. Come on, knock it off. Jesus. LAUREN OLIVER Where have I seen you before? You say you've never been to Sussex? HARRISON No. Can't say I have. LAUREN OLIVER Oh, that's right. It was a photograph. I'll never forget a photo as ugly as yours. Lauren finds you attractive. She's even dumber than I thought. HARRISON Wait, did you say photograph? LAUREN OLIVER Yeah. A mutual acquaintance showed it to me. HARRISON Who? LAUREN OLIVER I ain't saying. She might be listening. HARRISON Maria. MARIA Hmm. Leave me alone. It's you. I'm sorry you didn't find me sooner. HARRISON So, how are the turtles? DAVID Still virgins. HARRISON Fuck. That sucks. DAVID It does. HARRISON You know what's total fucking bullshit? DAVID What's that? HARRISON Everything. I'm serious. Like what the fuck are we doing here? You know, we're on this planet, what, 80 years? And that's it? Like, what is that? It's fucking nothing. I mean, in the grand scheme of the whole universe, you know what that is? That is a goddamn fart in the wind. You know what? Actually it's not even a fart. We're-- It-- it-- it's a shadow of a fart. You and I are shadows of a fucking fart in the wind. It's not enough time, you know? I don't wanna die. I wanna live forever. I mean, I like myself, David. I don't wanna know myself for just a shadow fart span. It's not enough, you know? I like me. I like who I am. I don't wanna die. Just everything, everything we are, everything we own, these bodies, our memories, everyone we know, all goes away in the end. And we're just-- DAVID What? HARRISON Yeah, exactly. DAVID Man, you got some dark thoughts inside that head. HARRISON Yeah. ASSISTANT Excuse me, Rory. There's some people here to see you. RORY Who are they? I thought I had no meetings this afternoon. You know I've been working on that counter offer. ASSISTANT I'm sorry. They're on their way. RORY Wow, what? Hey. No. DR KARN Hello, Rory. The arrangements we made previously seem suitable. RORY Mmhmm. Dr. KARN I require your assistance in a new matter. Nothing too strenuous, I assure you. RORY You promised me-- DR KARN I'm sorry, you were saying? RORY Nothing. DR KARN Right. I require your assistance in a new matter. Nothing too strenuous, I assure you. Just a simple procurement. Your involvement will be minimal. RORY Listen, I know what our arrangement is. But you told me I fulfilled my obligation. DR KARN You had, but this current development was unexpected. RORY I still have fucking nightmares about the last time. DR KARN I know. RORY So you can't just-- just come in here and ask me to help you. Again, I'm really busy. I'm busy. And I have been working on this counter offer. DR KARN I understand. I do however have one question. RORY COPY Where am I? Who the fuck are you? DR KARN Tell me, Rory. Do you enjoy existing? MARIA Hey. LAUREN OLIVER Hey. You look amazing. MARIA Really? I'm so nervous. LAUREN OLIVER Don't be. Rory's a sweetheart. You're gonna love him. MARIA I hope he likes me. LAUREN OLIVER Come on. MARIA Okay. RORY Yeah. HARRISON Hey, Maria. HARRISON Come on. VOICE Help me. HARRISON Hello? Hello? HARRISON Hello? VOICE HARRISON Hello? VOICE Help me. HARRISON Hello? OPERATOR 911, what's your emergency? HARRISON Hi, uh, actually I don't know if it's an emergency, but I just got a call from a friend and I think she might be in some kind of danger. OPERATOR Please hold. HARRISON Oh, yeah. Okay. VOICE Help me. HARRISON Hello? VOICE Harris, help me. HARRISON Hello? RECEPTIONIST Rory Calhoun's office. How can I help you? HARRISON Shit. Rory Calhoun. Oh my God. Okay. RECEPTIONIST Rory Calhoun's office. Hello? HARRISON Yeah. Hello. RECEPTIONIST How can I help you? HARRISON Um, I actually got a strange call from this number. RECEPTIONIST Who am I speaking with? HARRISON Who am I speaking with? RECEPTIONIST Please hold. HARRISON No, wait, wait, wait. RECEPTIONIST Sorry for the wait. I've got Mr. Calhoun right now. HARRISON Wait, what? No, no, no. No, please. Don't, I- VOICE Help me. HARRISON Maria? VOICE Help me. HARRISON Maria, is-- is that you? Hello? DR KARN Hello, Harrison. Good to see you. HARRISON Hi, um-- something really strange is going on. I don't know. Something like, Maria might be in some sort of trouble. DR KARN How so? HARRISON Ugh, I don't-- I don't know. Never mind. We're supposed to do the hypnosis today? DR KARN We are. HARRISON Okay. Well, I should tell you then, the dream, it continued to expand. This time I-- I-- I pulled down the string, I climbed up the ladder and I actually peeked into the attic. DR KARN Uh, I see. And what was in there? HARRISON Photographs. Boxes of them, but these, you know, those old style Polaroid photos? There were just stacks of them. DR KARN And did you look at any of them? HARRISON Yeah. Uh, there-- there were pictures of people. Uh, some-- some of them I recognized. But mostly strangers. DR KARN I see. Well, I think we should begin with this treatment. Are you ready? HARRISON Sure. DR KARN Close your eyes. What I am going to do now is give you a riddle. It will only take a moment. And when I'm finished, you will undergo a change. But you must pay very close attention. And do not interrupt me once I start. Do you understand? HARRISON Yes, but before we start, what did you mean the other day when you said it was curious that I met her now? DR KARN I'm not sure I understand. HARRISON You said it was curious that I met Maria now. The timing of it all. DR KARN Let's discuss that further after we've begun the hypnosis. HARRISON Okay. And you definitely didn't call her a whore? DR KARN I definitely did not. She's quite pleasant, I'm sure. HARRISON Okay. DR KARN Three brothers are traveling and stopped at an inn one night and asked for a room. The cost of the room is-- DR KARN Is... HARRISON That scared the fuck out of me. DR KARN I am so sorry. HARRISON Oh. It's-- it's-- it's fine. DR KARN I swore I turned that fucking ringer off. I have no idea what-- Now let's begin. DR KARN Three brothers are traveling and stop at an inn one night, and ask for a room. The cost of the room is 30 gold pieces. Each brother pays 10 gold pieces. HARRISON I thought you said you turned it off. DR KARN I did. I did. Probably, it must be malfunctioning. I'll have Cynthia buy a new one. HARRISON Answer it. DR KARN Excuse me? HARRISON Pick it up. DR KARN It's unplugged. Clearly, it's broken. HARRISON Answer it. Answer it, please. DR KARN No. HARRISON Answer it, or we won't be able to continue with your riddle. DR KARN I'll just put it outside. VOICE Help me. DR KARN Harrison, wait! HARRISON Maria? Maria! HARRISON Lauren, hey. Uh, I was actually gonna come and try and find you. Maria's gone. I went to her apartment and it's completely empty. Do you know what's going on? LAUREN OLIVER Smells like moldy cheese in here. HARRISON Wait, did you hear what I said? Maria, Maria is gone. She's in trouble or something. LAUREN OLIVER This place can definitely use a woman's touch. If I happen to meet one, I'll be sure to let her know. HARRISON Are either of you even listening to me right now? LAUREN OLIVER Maria's fine! I'd just seen her the other day at Rory Calhoun's office dressed like a whore she was. Oh, she's probably under his desk right now. HARRISON Okay, well, look, I was actually just up at her apartment and it's completely empty. LAUREN OLIVER Well, ain't that a shame. Guess she moved out then. Too bad. I guess I never get to fuck her after all. HARRISON No, moved out. What? She's not moved out. What do you mean moved out? LAUREN OLIVER What you mean, what I mean. She fucking moved. Probably to get far away from your annoying ass. It ain't her they're really after. HARRISON Wait, what do you mean? Woah. Hold on. What are you doing? What are you doing? LAUREN OLIVER Hey. I ain't going to pretend like I understand what this is all about. But there's some people you just can't say no to. HARRISON What? What? LAUREN OLIVER Well, they can't come in here. So they needed someone on the inside. HARRISON Woah, okay. LAUREN OLIVER Oh, I'm gonna see if I can remember this properly. LAUREN OLIVER Three brothers are traveling along a road and they come to an inn where they plan to stay the night. HARRISON Wait, wait, stop. What? How do you know that? LAUREN OLIVER Let me finish, please. The cost of the room is 30 bits of gold so each of the brothers put in 10 apie-- Sorry about that. LAUREN OLIVER As I was saying, it's 10 apiece and the manager wants to give them a discount of 5 gold pieces. What the bloody fuck are you doing? Ah! Ah! Ah! What are you doing? Ah! So he gives 5 gold pieces to the bellboy to take back to-- Stop it! HARRISON Just calm down, both of you. Just-- LAUREN OLIVER The bellboy says he can't split 5 evenly among three. HARRISON Take it easy. Jesus Christ. LAUREN OLIVER Bloody fucking hell. HARRISON You all right? LAUREN OLIVER Fuck. Just run, just run, run. HARRISON Okay, I'm just-- MARIA Lauren works for Rory Calhoun. You obviously know who that is. LAUREN OLIVER Maria's fine. I just seen her the other day at Rory Calhoun's office dressed like a whore she was. RORY Oh. RORY I know. I know, I know. I'm sorry about all of this. But I got the call earlier today and when they call, I have to answer. Because everyone in this world has to answer to somebody, right? Well, except for him. But then, this world, am I right? HARRISON Ah! Where's Maria? RORY I'm sorry. Who's Maria? HARRISON Come on. What the fuck! Please. You know, Maria. Where's-- RORY Oh, oh, Maria. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That girl. That actress who sent me that really weird tape. Her? HARRISON Yeah. RORY Yeah, okay. How the hell should I know? I can't possibly cast her in anything. HARRISON Why do you keep calling me? Who's the woman on the phone? RORY Listen, I don't have the answers you're looking for, pal. Okay? So, I am just doing what I'm told. Now-- HARRISON She was-- she was-- RORY We really got to go. HARRISON Please, no, no. LAUREN OLIVER See you, Harry. RORY Yup, I'll see you soon. DR KARN Thank you, Rory. Your services are no longer needed. DR KARN I did try to do it the easy way. You can close your eyes if you like. Three brothers are traveling along a road one night. They stop at an inn, and the cost for the inn is 30 gold pieces. They each pay 10. The manager decides to give them a discount. Perhaps the inn isn't too crowded that night. He gives 5 gold pieces to a bellhop and tells him to return it to the man. The bellhop decides he cannot divide it evenly between three. So he pockets two for himself and returns 1 gold piece to each of the men. Each man gets back 1 gold piece. So now they've given nine apiece. Nine, three times, is 27. The bellhop pocketed two. Add that to the 27 and you've got 29. But you started with 30. Where is the missing piece? I hope you know that this is absolutely not personal. The system is mostly infallible. I have no idea who put it into place or why. But it works. You live, you die, you live, you die. You live, you die. And we make these each time. But sometimes, there is a glitch. Generally, nobody has any idea why it happens, but in your case, it was the girl. Whatever the problem is, when there is one, they send me in to clean it up. You should stand back. ARIELLE So how did your brother meet this girl again, Susanne? Do I call her "Suzy"? VINCE Uh, I don't know. I mean, I-- I-- I think she was a friend of a friend, of a friend? Something like that. We shall find out. ARIELLE Do you know where we are going to eat? VINCE So Cory cooked. ARIELLE Oh God. Where should you and I go out to eat after? VINCE I was thinking maybe sushi? ARIELLE Did you pay the sitter? VINCE Yeah. Didn't that go through? ARIELLE She's saying it didn't go through. VINCE Likely story. ARIELLE Well, I'll send it again. She's amazing and Ella loves her so much. VINCE All right. Ready? ARIELLE Let's do this. SUSANNE Babe, they're here. CORY I heard the knocks. Hey, how are you guys? You look fantastic. Thanks for coming. VINCE How's it going, buddy? CORY Are you guys hungry? VINCE Starving, starving. CORY Food's almost ready. Yeah, how about a drink, huh? VINCE Let's do it. CORY Yeah, well, what is this? Where did you get this? VINCE Keeping it tight. CORY Honey, you okay?