ADAM ALDRICH ASSISTANT BD BETTE BLONDE_ACTRESS HARRIET HEDDA_HOPPER JACK_WARNER JOAN JOAN_BLONDELL LOUIS_B_MAYER MAMACITA OLIVIA PAULINE PETER REPORTER VEDA VICTOR_BUONO JOAN Jane, I'm only trying to explain the way things are. And if it weren't, if I weren't. BLONDE ACTRESS Oh, Miss Crawford, I'm so excited! I'm going to be playing your neighbor right next door. JOAN So close. BLONDE ACTRESS Could I please have your autograph? It's for my grandmother. She's loved you since she was a kid. JOAN Sometimes you need to hit it square in the jaw. You know, Bob, I was thinking, we need to pack the bags of the girl next door. She's moving out. ALDRICH Joan, I don't have time to recast. We're shooting tomorrow. JOAN I have co-star approval. ALDRICH She's not a co-star. JOAN That's right, and she never will be. BETTE What? JOAN You wanted to see me? BETTE Yeah. Forget the little daily gifts, Lucille. I'm going to be much too busy working to shop for anything in return. JOAN Whatever you say, only let's not fight, we have to support each other, Bette. I'm worried our director isn't taking care of us. So we have to take care of each other. BETTE What the hell does that mean? You're the one that hired the god damn director. JOAN I'm going to be blunt, Bette, Aldrich is a lady-killer. He likes young blondes. BETTE The cookie that's playing the neighbor. I saw her. She's no threat. JOAN Well, not now, of course. But what happens when he starts sleeping with her? Suddenly she has more lines in scenes than you do? Now I've asked him to replace her with someone less showy, less likely to pull focus, but he refused. Of course, you have more scenes than I do, so perhaps I'm being out of line. You know, Bette, I just wanted to say, I think what you're doing with this part is incredibly brave. ALDRICH Bette? Bette? Where are you going? Your big scene's up next. BETTE I'm going home sick, Bob. ALDRICH You don't look sick. BETTE I am, I'm sick to my stomach because of you. I thought you wanted to work with Crawford and me because you respected us, because you wanted our opinions, but clearly you don't, and that just makes me want to vomit. ALDRICH What are you talking about? BETTE Crawford wants that woman that's playing the neighbor gone, and I have to agree. You're casting with the wrong head, Bob. She's not an actress, she's not going to elevate the material, I mean look at her. ALDRICH Her audition was wonderful. BETTE I want her gone. ALDRICH I won't do it. BETTE Then I'm going home sick. I forgot my purse. ALDRICH God damn it. JOAN BLONDELL I think I'm all right. Is that a mirror? Thank you. You're in my light, honey. Did you see that, what was it, Coming Home? Some kind of Vietnam thing, oh god. ADAM Talk to me about the origins of the feud. JOAN BLONDELL Hell, those two? They didn't actually need a reason to hate each other. It was chemical, but things didn't start to boil over until the 40s, when they were in their 40s. Bette's star was rising at Warner's, and over at MGM, Joan's was starting to dim. JOAN Cut. I'm sorry, can someone ask an executive to come down to the stage, please? I'm so confused, we're on our honeymoon. We're recruited by the British Secret Service to stop the Nazis, right? Does this make sense to anyone? Can someone explain it to me? JOAN BLONDELL Now that Garbo and Shearer had packed it in, Joan wanted roles with dignity. She'd had it up to here with the slatterns and shop girl roles that had made her a star. She fought tooth and nail for the role of Marie Curie. JOAN Listen, Louis, either I play this egghead dame or I walk. LOUIS B MAYER Then I suggest you start walking. JOAN BLONDELL Two weeks later, Joan signed with Warner's. JOAN Thank you, Daddy. JACK WARNER Oh, come on, Joan. Let's cut the Daddy shit, all right? Might have worked for that fat fuck over at MGM, but you're working for me now. JOAN Tchin-tchin. JOAN BLONDELL Warner picked up the former MGM glamour girl at close-out, everything-must-go bargain basement rates and he still thought he was paying too much. JACK WARNER Cancel my appointments for the rest of the afternoon. JOAN BLONDELL Warner brought Crawford in for one reason- to use as a cudgel against his problem child, Bette Davis. Bette was the undisputed Queen of the Lot. Playing one Oscar nominated role after another. She was difficult, expensive, and far too powerful- especially for a woman. Joan was Jack's message to Bette: you're not the only bitch in the kennel. And Joan wasn't too proud to take Bette's scraps. VEDA You've never spoken of your people. Who you came from, maybe that's why father. JOAN BLONDELL Wasn't long before she found her come-back role. JOAN BLONDELL A role that Bette never would have passed on had she realized it was Oscar worthy material. JACK WARNER What? ASSISTANT Sir, Bette Davis is here. She's demanding to see you. JACK WARNER Shit. BETTE I know what you're doing, Jack. Giving Crawford all my roles to control me, make me insecure. JACK WARNER You said you were offended that I offered it to you. BETTE I didn't want to play the mother of a teenager. JACK WARNER Right, well then there's a lesson in all this, isn't there, chickie? Next time, you got to fucking trust big daddy. But aren't you even just a little excited about that pip of a script I sent you? BETTE Where I play a neglected wife in a black fright wig who tries to abort her child by throwing herself down a hill and then dies? JACK WARNER Fine, don't do it. Crawford loves it. If you'll excuse me, I'm late for my lunch, now. BETTE Let me guess, Lana Turner? JACK WARNER Nope. BETTE Judy Garland? JACK WARNER Nope. BETTE Ava Gardner? JACK WARNER Joan Crawford. JOAN BLONDELL Poor Bette. While Joan now got the best parts for women of a certain age, it was Bette who had to play the shop girls and the slatterns. BETTE What a dump. JOAN BLONDELL And it was Jack Warner who, through it all, made millions off both of them. And probably always would. Ain't that just the way? ALDRICH Oh, there's my star. BETTE I hate the breakfast scene. ALDRICH I love that scene. BETTE Too much exposition. ALDRICH No, she's rubbing Blanche's nose in it. She stole her limelight, you've got to use that underneath. BETTE I don't need subtext, Bob. I need good text. ALDRICH Bette, it's today's work. It's a good scene and Joan likes it. JOAN I never said that. I agree with Bette. The writing doesn't begin to capture how women get under each other's skin, the intent is there, but the execution is lackluster. BETTE You work on that, Bob. See what you can do. JOAN We'll anxiously be awaiting a rewrite. BETTE I like that, anxiously awaiting. PAULINE Isn't that a pretty picture. They're finally getting along. ALDRICH Yeah, and to think only last week they were wishing each other dead. JOAN Bette's just amazing. Oh, she's going to win all the awards, this year. BETTE Hedda. HEDDA HOPPER And you two gals, really getting along together? Come on, you can tell Hedda. JOAN Hedda, we told you before we're getting on like a house on fire. JACK WARNER I haven't seen that much shit since my bowel movement. ALDRICH What year was that? JACK WARNER 1932. You know the good thing about Scotch, Bob? Is it only gets better when it ages. Broads, they just get sour. So I hear that these two bitches are really bustin' your balls, huh, Bobby? ALDRICH Ah, typical stuff, you know, Bette's always fighting me for another close-up, Joan's always fighting me to take it out. But they're burning up the screen, Jack. You should have paired them years ago. JACK WARNER No, thanks. Two World Wars were enough. There's something I want to talk to you about, Bobby. The front office tells me that you're behind schedule, and I don't like that. ALDRICH Well, just by one day. You know, we've just started. I'll make it up. JACK WARNER Okay. And also, I'm not going to release the picture the way I said I would. I'm gonna open it bigger. The way no one's ever done before. A wide release. 400 screens. Did I get you? I got ya. ALDRICH You got me. 400? Are you crazy? Why? JACK WARNER Why? Because you're right. They're burning up the screen together. Bobby, their scenes are fucking electric. They are fucking electric, and let's face it, after Psycho, horror's the future, and we've got it. Okay, now here's what we've got to do. There's got to be buzz. ALDRICH Yeah, we can keep the publicity machine going. I'll give your PR people full access to the set. JACK WARNER N-n-no, there's got to be more than that, bubbie. You've got to keep them at each other's throats. You have to. I'll make sure their names are in the papers. That's not a problem, but if you do this, you'll be able to write your own ticket in this town. L'chaim, bubbeleh. Well done, Bobby. Come on, let's go see what they're doing. ALDRICH It's not just about morale, it's also about respect and I've lost both. Ever since I fired that tomato who was playing the neighbor girl, the whole crew knows I was pushed into it. The whole crew knows Crawford and Davis are running the show. They double teamed me. I'm telling you Harriet, Jack Palance and Lee Marvin would've never pulled this shit. HARRIET They don't have to. They're men. ALDRICH Yeah, well that makes them half as cunning and no where near as ruthless. HARRIET I'd think you'd be happy that both your stars are getting along. ALDRICH Yeah, they're not getting along. They're just teaming up. It's like the Hitler/Stalin pact. You know, maybe Warner's got the right idea. He wants to leak some dirt to the gossip columns, you know, get a little cat fight going. HARRIET Bob, that's terrible. ALDRICH What, it could get a lot of pre-release publicity that way. And anyway, pitting them against each other might be just the way to control them. HARRIET Bob, don't you dare. It's too cruel. They need to feel secure and supported. ALDRICH But not by each other. I can support them both. HARRIET Well, don't fool yourself, even you're not man enough to satisfy two women. ALDRICH What the hell's that supposed to mean? HARRIET Why don't you ask your "little strudel," Gretchen? ALDRICH Harriet, where are you getting this from? HARRIET Gossip on a set is poison, Bob. And spreads fast. It's a small town, and everybody finds out everything. Even your wife. ALDRICH Well, it's bullshit. HARRIET Maybe. But it hurts just the same, and you should consider that before you start spreading gossip of your own. HEDDA HOPPER Hi, Bill. Oh, Roger, hi. Nancy, you look beautiful. Barbara, how are you? Hello, Bob. ALDRICH And let me just say again, what a thrill it is for me to be directing these two legends of the screen. HEDDA HOPPER Mmm, really Bob? That's it? ALDRICH That's it. I'll leave it up to you to spruce up the adjectives. HEDDA HOPPER I think you've got me confused with Adela Rogers St. Johns. I came here for red meat, not pabulum. No one wants to read about how those two battle-axes make nice with each other. ALDRICH Well, what can I tell ya, Hedda? They're both consummate professionals. HEDDA HOPPER You know who you remind me of? Not John Ford. Now there's a man who commands not only a movie set, but his own press. He knows how to play the game, which is why he's as vital now as he was before talkies. But where are you, Bob? Three bombs? You want to go back to directing television? This picture could make you relevant again. ALDRICH I have too much dignity to get into the gutter with you, Hedda. HEDDA HOPPER Well, I hope dignity pays your gas bill. ALDRICH All right, wait, wait. I might have something, but you didn't hear it from me. HEDDA HOPPER Blind item. My specialty. ALDRICH This is about Crawford's tits. HEDDA HOPPER I'm all ears. ALDRICH Well that's just it, Crawford's all tits. Davis as been complaining that they're too perky. HEDDA HOPPER Perky? ALDRICH Fake. HEDDA HOPPER She wears falsies? ALDRICH Yeah, and, you know, Davis is a real artist, she says she can't play to them and she says she's scared of falling onto them in the beach scene because she thinks she'll chip a tooth. Says those things are hard as rocks. HEDDA HOPPER Oh, that's great. ALDRICH Yeah. HEDDA HOPPER Chip a tooth. ALDRICH Yeah, that's great. REPORTER Miss Crawford! Miss Crawford, do you have any response to the comments made by Miss Davis in Hopper's column? JOAN Oh, I certainly do, but nothing I'd let my children read in a family newspaper. BETTE All right, Blanche Hudson! Miss Big Fat Movie Star! Miss Rotten Stinkin' Actress! What? JOAN Bob, I have to talk to you. ALDRICH Cut. BETTE I'm in the middle of a fucking take. ALDRICH What is it? JOAN Have you seen Hedda's column this morning? BETTE Oh, cripe. ALDRICH Okay, take a break everybody. No, I haven't. Why does she mention us? JOAN Us? Oh no, no, not us. Me, yes. Would you like me to read it to you? "The woman is crazy. I always suspected she had a false front, and now I know for sure and they're 34 double D." Are you going to let her get away with this? BETTE Away with what? I said no such thing. ALDRICH Joan, I'm sure Bette's comments were taken out of context. BETTE And who gives a shit, Lucille? Everybody knows you pad your bra, you've been doing it for years. JOAN Bob, will you please tell Miss Davis that I will sue her if she continues to make comments that are injurious to my ability to earn a living. BETTE Earn a living? Every time you belch, Pepsi gives you ten grand. JOAN How dare you mention Pepsi. Unlike you, it's good and pure. BETTE It's pure all right, pure vodka. ALDRICH Bette, Joan, come on, ladies. Please, let's just. JOAN She's jealous of me. She has always been so jealous of me. ALDRICH Joanie, who wouldn't be? Look at you, you're beautiful, talented, you're a legend and I understand that you're upset, but put all that passion, all that anger into your performance. Forget about her, forget her, listen to me. I am the only opinion that matters. JOAN I'll make you proud of me, I promise. OLIVIA Years later when I heard what was going on, I was furious. I mean, at the time, we didn't know that these two great screen legends, friends of ours, were being manipulated so cruelly by the men around them. JOAN BLONDELL Well, not that we could've done anything about it. You know how much power women had back then? Exactly as much as we got now, zippo. OLIVIA Well, you have to remember, this was before the modern Women's Lib movement. Which I admire very much, by the way. JOAN BLONDELL Me, too. OLIVIA But imagine a studio today tried to pit Miss Jane Fonda against Miss Dyan Cannon, the girls would revolt! JOAN BLONDELL Oh, horseshit. Nothing's changed. No matter how liberated, women'll do what they always do when they're cornered- eat their own and pick their teeth with the bones. JOAN Louella, darling. Joan here. Listen, I'm calling about the article Hedda wrote today. I have a rebuttal. No, but for you. Are you writing it down? Good. Miss Davis looks old enough to be my mother. One look at her face and you'd think she hasn't had a happy day, or night, in her life. Yes, you can quote me. I'm counting on it. REPORTER Miss Davis, care to comment on the fact that Miss Crawford says you look old enough to be her mother? BETTE What's your name, sweetheart? REPORTER Sylvia. BETTE Fuck off, Sylvia. REPORTER Come on. BETTE Go to my room and read a goddamned book. JOAN Come in. BETTE Let's have a little talk. JOAN I'd love that. BETTE Although I know you prefer chewing the fat with gossip columnists. JOAN I don't know what you're talking about. BETTE Louella Parsons, today. You're quoted on the record, Lucille. JOAN Oh, yes. That. BETTE Let me just cut through the movie star bullshit you cling to when the waters get too deep for you to stay afloat and explain something to you. JOAN I can't wait to hear. BETTE You seem to have forgotten that the unflattering makeup I'm wearing in this picture is a choice designed to create a character. I'm not interested in vanity, I'm not interested in gossip. I'm interested in the work. That's what I want to do, so I suggest you stop fitting in calls to Parsons between your morning coffee and taking a shit of butterflies and moonbeams and whatever else comes flying out of your ass. If you don't, it's your funeral. JOAN Are you threatening me? You'll kill me? BETTE Worse. I'm gonna steal this picture right out from under your nose and you know I can do it. I am doing it. JOAN Says who? BETTE The crew, the director, everybody. JOAN Mr. Aldrich says he loves my performance. BETTE Interesting. JOAN After all those years, I'm still in this chair. Doesn't that give you some kind of responsibility. Jane, I'm just trying to explain how things really are. JACK WARNER This is fantastic footage, Bob. It's fantastic. I mean, you can literally feel the hate steaming off the screen. ALDRICH Are you sure it's not the acting you're responding to? Hank, turn the sound down. JACK WARNER Are you kidding me? There's so much ham up there I'm gonna have to go to my rabbi this afternoon and atone. No, I'm talking about what's underneath all the scene chewing. Pure, naked rancor. I love it. I want more. ALDRICH More. JACK WARNER Yeah. Come here, come here. You've got to make each one think that you like the other one more. ALDRICH Oh, Jesus, Jack. The atmosphere on set's frosty enough as it is. You sure you want me to stir that pot? JACK WARNER What, are you red all of the sudden? You got something against capitalism? Bob, come here, look, what we're looking at right there is a raw display of the free market. That's vigorous competition. That's the American way. The more that they despise each other, the more that each one tries to crush the other one, the better they get. ALDRICH But they're already good. JACK WARNER No, they're great. Great, but they could be greater still. Do you think that Wellington was such a hot general? He wasn't. He was a piker until he had to go up against Napoleon. And why? Because he hated Napoleon's guts, he hated him. It was his hatred that made him great. ALDRICH But Jack, that was war. JACK WARNER So is this. Turn it up. JOAN You wouldn't do all these awful things to me if I weren't still in this chair. JACK WARNER Look at that. BETTE But you are, Blanche. You are in that chair. ALDRICH Cut. JACK WARNER Fantastic. Fantastic, Bob. BETTE Bob, sorry I'm late. ALDRICH Two hours late, Bette. You asked me to be here at noon and on a Saturday. BETTE It's unforgivable, I know. I overslept. I was in a panic last night, I had a drink. This week has been murder for me. ALDRICH Yeah, it's been tough on everybody. BETTE I have no idea if what I'm doing is working at all. Is it a brave choice? Or is it just a reaction to her? She infuriates me, I just want to smother her with my performance. ALDRICH And Jane wants to smother Blanche. It's perfect. BETTE Is it? I don't want to end up a joke, Bob. I feel I need to get control, and I don't know if I can do that when I'm seeing red all the time. Maybe I should invite her to dinner. ALDRICH No, no, no. There's such a thing as alchemy, Bette. You don't mess with alchemy. My advice, you just keep doing what you're doing. Muscle out the next few weeks. Stay in your own lane, because that road is going to get you to your next Oscar. Trust me. BETTE I do trust you. You won't let me look ridiculous. ALDRICH Of course not. BETTE All right, let's look at the scene. "I've Written A Letter To Daddy." Frankly, scares the shit out of me. I'm not a singer, never was. ALDRICH Oh, come on, Bette, you sang with the Uso. That's why I want you to perform the number live, on the set. BETTE You just said you wouldn't let me look ridiculous. ALDRICH And I won't, but it's all about the pathos, Bette. The loss. Jane just wants to be that adored eight-year-old girl again. It's her selling the number, not you. Come on, why don't we give it a whirl. Huh? Come on. ALDRICH You don't need that. You know the words. You need your hands, Jane is open, big theatrical gestures. Remember, she's vaudeville. BETTE You got plans for dinner? I feel like I owe you something for having you cool your heels all morning. ALDRICH I promised Harriet I'd take her to Perino's. BETTE Bring her. JOAN I want you to take all the costumes and just lay them out in the dressing room and that way I can go through them and determine which. MAMACITA The crew is abuzz. JOAN About my performance? MAMACITA About their relationship. Apparently they've been working on her scenes all weekend long. HARRIET Hello? It's Joan Crawford. ALDRICH Joan? It's fucking midnight. JOAN Bob, he left me. ALDRICH Who? JOAN Peter. We had a terrible row, he said this picture meant more to me than he did and he left. He was drunk. ALDRICH Oh, God. JOAN I have to quit the picture, Bob. I can't continue. ALDRICH All right, just give me a few. I'll throw some clothes on, I'll be right over. JOAN You promise? ALDRICH Yeah, yeah, I promise. ALDRICH Okay. JOAN Who is it? Who's there? ALDRICH Who the hell do you think it is, Joan? It's Bob, you called me here. JOAN Oh, no, I thought for a moment, maybe Peter had come home. ALDRICH Yeah, I'm sorry about Peter, Joan. JOAN You know what I'm sorry about? I'm sorry I gave up a wonderful relationship with a man who truly cherished me, a doctor no less, for you and this picture, really, it's just too much. ALDRICH What are you talking about? JOAN You know goddamn well what I'm talking about. You and Davis, cavorting behind my back. ALDRICH You're being ridiculous. JOAN Am I? Weekend rehearsals my ass. How long have you been sleeping with her? ALDRICH I'm no sleeping with her. JOAN I won't be made a fool of. I'm out, but don't worry, I won't stand in your way. I'm sure Warner will let you recast. ALDRICH We're not recasting, Joan. Jesus. This picture's only happening because of you. JOAN Well, I'm glad you remember that. What else do you remember, Bob? ALDRICH Joan. JOAN Hmm? Bob do you remember our private rehearsals on Autumn Leaves? Rehearse with me now, Bob. Take me through a love scene. ALDRICH There is no love scene in the picture. JOAN The I want a re-write. ALDRICH Oh, God damn it, Joan. Will you knock it off? You think I don't know what this is? What, you think you're gonna get me into bed, I'm just gonna hand the picture to you? This exactly what happened on Autumn Leaves. You saw me having Cliff Robertson, next thing I know your hand is down my pants. JOAN Screw you. ALDRICH No, not this time, Joan. Listen to me, I'm trying to hold on to my marriage, for Christ's sakes. JOAN Good. Peter? What are you doing here? I thought you were in Palm Springs. PETER Yeah, road got washed out. ALDRICH I'll see you on the set, Joan. PETER You want to explain that? JOAN Explain? To you? I don't have to explain a goddamn thing to you. You're the one who left me this weekend, leaving me here all alone. I think it's time to re-cast. PETER Re-cast? JOAN Re-cast you. Your lines are stale. Your delivery's predictable. I'm going downstairs. When I come back, I want you gone. PETER It's a relief. HEDDA HOPPER Where is she? HEDDA HOPPER What the hell is this? MAMACITA I'm sorry, Miss Joan. She's small but she's quick. JOAN Why that looks like an exclusive. HEDDA HOPPER In The Examiner. In Louella's column. You deliberately called up that incontinent cow just to scoop me. JOAN Thank you, Sven. That'll be all for now. HEDDA HOPPER No, Sven's staying put. I want this young man to bear witness. He should know whose carcass it is he's been handling. And just how many others in this town could identify it in the dark. That column's already been written. "Joan Crawford's Early, Tawdry Years." And it's been locked away in my desk drawer since 1946. The last time you went to Louella behind my back. JOAN Oh, I told you then, Hedda, I didn't go to Louella about my divorce from Philip. No, she came to me. HEDDA HOPPER And you confirmed it. And after I gave you your career back. Box Office Poison. That's what they called her, until I started promoting her in my column because I felt sorry for her. JOAN Well she is right about that. When I was down on my luck, Hedda, is the only person in this Christless town to extend a hand in friendship, to show some human decency. She didn't have to and I've always been truly grateful to her for doing it. Truly, truly, grateful. HEDDA HOPPER Well, then why would you go to my mortal enemy? JOAN Because it was the only way I could get your attention. Thank you Sven, I'll see you on Friday. Hedda, Hedda, HEDDA HOPPER Yes. JOAN Let's go down to the pool, soak up some vitamin D. Listen, we have to talk. HEDDA HOPPER Okay. JOAN Give me a moment to change. HEDDA HOPPER Oh. JOAN I'll just say it, Hedda. I'm in trouble. HEDDA HOPPER What kind of trouble? JOAN No, no, no. This isn't for publication. I'm appealing to you as a friend. HEDDA HOPPER All right. Closed. Shoot. JOAN I'm broke. Up to my eyeballs in debt. HEDDA HOPPER No, no. You practically own Pepsi Cola. JOAN Pepsi Cola owns me. Or it owned Al, at any rate. And when he died, his debts became mine. Two million dollars, Hedda, that's what I owe. Two million dollars. HEDDA HOPPER Joan, I had no idea. JOAN No, nobody does. And they mustn't. Look, I'm a single mother working in Hollywood. I've got three children whose schooling is not yet complete. MAMACITA Cocktail time. JOAN Come on, I need a drink. HEDDA HOPPER All right. JOAN Look at this, Hedda. All of this could be gone in an instant. Everything I've worked for my entire life. Where at my age, am I going to find a rich man to save me? HEDDA HOPPER You've never needed a man. Neither one of us have. JOAN And yet we've always been at their mercy. At least I have. You don't know how lucky you are, Hedda, that being an actress didn't work out for you, that you were never a star. I mean, you're the one who has real power in this town. HEDDA HOPPER This town, it's in decline. It's becoming base and common. You know pretty soon, I won't even be able to shock it anymore. The whole thing's going to blow away and all that'll be left is the desert it's built on. JOAN Oh, thank you, Mamacita. HEDDA HOPPER Thank you, darling. JOAN A few more years. That is all I wanted, just a few more years, but I've been undermined, sabotaged. No, it's just not fair. HEDDA HOPPER Davis, she's never been one of us. She's never been a part of this town, not like you have. And she doesn't need the work. Woman lives like a Yankee. JOAN I just don't know what I'm going to do. HEDDA HOPPER Don't you dare. No tears. Hedda is here. You want a few more years? What about five more? Because that's what another Oscar will get you. Yes. A down payment on five more years. JOAN No, no, that is impossible. That'll never happen. Bette has the showier role. HEDDA HOPPER Well, that's a matter of opinion, and my opinion is the only one that matters. Cheers. JOAN Tchin-tchin, my darling. VICTOR BUONO Good morning Miss Davis, I am such a fan. Doughnut? BETTE No, coffee, black, in my dressing room. VICTOR BUONO I'm not craft service. I'm your leading man on this picture. BETTE Beg your pardon? VICTOR BUONO I'm Victor Bruono. I'll be playing your love interest. BETTE I was expecting someone. VICTOR BUONO Thinner? Less homosexual? BETTE Thanks for the great day, fellas. Say goodnight, B.D. BD Goodnight, fellas. BETTE Christ, this song! BD You don't like it because you can't wear one anymore. BETTE Pack your bags, B.D. BD Why? Are we going somewhere? BETTE Not me, you. To Maine for the entire summer. BD You can't do that! BETTE Watch me. Christ, tonight I see you posing and laughing in front of the grips like a streetwalker. BD You're jealous. BETTE I'd smack you across the face for that if your braces hadn't cost a fortune. BD You're jealous because men don't look at you anymore and they look at me. You can't take it that your turn is over, so you're punishing me. What a joke. For years when I was growing up, all I ever heard from you was "Christ, when is that old buzzard Claudette Colbert gonna retire? When is Norma Shearer gonna realize the ship has sailed?" BETTE I am not going to apologize for having ambition. I am not going to apologize for being a working mother who has to have opportunities so she can put food on the table for her family. BD You know what those women had that you don't, mother? Dignity. They moved aside with class after their spin on the carousel was over, and that's something you refuse to do. And now look at you. You're single, lonely, and doing this ridiculous role because you can't live without being in the spotlight. Well, guess what? Nobody wants you anymore. Nobody's watching you anymore. You see me out there having fun and being young and taking my turn, and you can't take it. So fine. I'll go, gladly. Anything to get away from you and your sadness HARRIET Hello? ALDRICH Is it one of the kids? HARRIET One of yours. Bette Davis. ALDRICH Bette? ALDRICH Here I am, Bette. What could you possibly need that couldn't wait until tomorrow? BETTE A friend. ALDRICH She'll be back. She's a teenager. You can't take anything they say to heart. You should hear the way my kids talked to me when they were teenagers. Hell, they still do. BETTE But she's right, Bob. That's the trouble. My time has passed. ALDRICH Oh, that's horseshit, Bette. BETTE There's a scene in Eve from the back of the car when Margo's talking about the long climb up and all the things you drop along the way that you forget you're going to need later. I just turned 40 when we did that scene and I remember thinking "thank Christ that will never be me." But it is. That's exactly what happened. All my failed marriages, my own daughter hates me, and for what. ALDRICH For the work. BETTE The goddamn work. My one true love and now that's going to leave me. ALDRICH You're a star, Bette. Just as much of a star now as you were ten years ago. 20 years ago. BETTE A star whose leading man is a chubby homosexual. ALDRICH Ah, now we get to it. BETTE Is this what it's come to? ALDRICH What do you mean, "is this what it's come to?" Bette, he's a brilliant artist. You say Crawford's no actor, well Victor Buono is. He comes from Broadway, for Christ's sakes. I am not gonna fire him. BETTE I don't ' want you to fire him. I don't want you to fire him. I don't know what I want. ALDRICH Bette, listen. I understand everything you said. You've had a brilliant career. Me, I'm still on the B-list. I'm working like a dog to keep a roof over my family's head. I missed my kids growing up, and my wife now wants to give me the heave-ho. At least you've got an Oscar. BETTE Two. ALDRICH Two. I beg your pardon. I think maybe we both mucked things up. BETTE Oh, you haven't mucked up anything. You're a fine director, Bob. A really fine director. You should be very proud. And you started from nothing. Look at all you've accomplished. ALDRICH My grandfather was a U.S. Senator, my cousin is Nelson Rockefeller. BETTE And you overcame all that.