ARGYLE BUSTER CHINESE_MAN CONSTRUCTION_WORKER DOUGLAS DUSTY GEORGE_MICHAEL GEORGE_SR GOB GUARD HUGO JOHN_BEARD JUDGE_SPENCER_STANLEY LINDSAY LOTTIE_DOTTIE LUCILLE LUCILLE_AUSTERO MAEBY MAN MAN_2 MAN_3 MAN_4 MAN_WITH_WHITE_HAT MICHAEL MIMI MURPHY_BROWN NARRATEUR POLICEMAN SALLY_SITWELL TOBIAS TONY_WONDER WOMAN_1 WOMAN_IN_BLUE_SHIRT YOUNG_BUSTER NARRATEUR The courtroom at Buster Bluth's murder trial. MIMI have something else in your life right now because that child is mine. [R] NARRATEUR had been electrified after seeing a dramatic spin off of the Bluth's family history. LOTTIE DOTTIE Buster Bluth has killed before in the exact same manner he killed Lucille Austero. LUCILLE Mistrial! Mistrial! BUSTER Yes, yes, I missed your trial! NARRATEUR But while emotions were high, Michael noticed a more subtle exchange. BUSTER You can have her, Dusty. She can be your mother! DUSTY And you've made it almost impossible for me to win this case. LUCILLE I need you to go find some videotapes that are back at the. LUCILLE You do that and then we'll see about you calling me "Mother". DUSTY Right. NARRATEUR And so he decided to dig a little deeper. MICHAEL So you thought Mimi was talking about you. MICHAEL That- that you were her child and-and she was gonna take you away? BUSTER Well, had I known she was talking about Lindsay, I would've been like, "Goodbye, Felicia!" BUSTER I mean, I didn't really even get close to her until we made soup that one time. MICHAEL Is it true? Did you push Mimi down the stairs? BUSTER I did it but nothing's gonna happen to me 'cause I'm just a boy. MICHAEL How come you never said anything? How come mom never told- BUSTER You leave Mother out of this. She knows nothing. MICHAEL Why are you protecting her? What are you not telling me? BUSTER I did it but nothing's gonna happen to me because I'm just a boy. MICHAEL I heard that already, pal. Do not protect Mother. MICHAEL This looks very, very bad. MICHAEL You know, Lottie is just gonna make it look like you're one of those guys that pushes old ladies down stairs. BUSTER Lottie, she's so mean. BUSTER I wish I could shove her down the stairs. MICHAEL Hey! [R] No more talking about shoving or pushing- GUARD No touching! MICHAEL Or touching. Yeah. BUSTER I could barely feel it, it's a rental. MICHAEL Let's focus on your defense. BUSTER Well, I feel good about that. MICHAEL You do? BUSTER What I saw today in court, blew me away. MICHAEL What you saw in court today is gonna put you away. BUSTER MICHAEL Especially after that body-dumping footage. I mean, what the hell was that? NARRATEUR Buster had been caught on tape dumping a person-shaped thing into the sea, had been seen dropping a large person-shaped thing into the water below. BUSTER Back from whence you came! NARRATEUR that only moments before he'd received. GOB Buster! Need your help with a little, uh, dead-body-shaped-thing. NARRATEUR from his brother Gob. GOB It's from a magician. Part of his big, final, farewell, disappearing act. NARRATEUR Gob had last seen his friend, Tony Wonder, during a sex pref swap illusion NARRATEUR that he'd hoped would cement their relationship. NARRATEUR which, in an unexpected way, it did. NARRATEUR Leaving Gob with the necessity of pretending he was a gay man. MAN WITH WHITE HAT Well, someone's gonna have to stay gay. NARRATEUR Gob assumed he'd been ghosted NARRATEUR but after he was threatened by a group that, somewhat tongue in cheek, ARGYLE Mr. Bluth. GOB Whoa, no. Yeah. You know what, I'm- I'm fine. NARRATEUR called itself the "gay mafia". ARGYLE We know you're as straight as an Oklahoma highway. ARGYLE That sends a message that will hurt us, and we're the one's doing the hurting. NARRATEUR his assumptions were cruelly confirmed. NARRATEUR In fact, it was a fairly brutal organization that was led by Lucille Two's brother, Argyle. GOB So, I have to stay gay? ARGYLE Just for seven years, then we'll let you age out. ARGYLE It's a lot more generous than what I did to that last guy who faked being gay, ARGYLE your pal, Tony Wonder. NARRATEUR Who threatened that since you're so good at magic maybe he should help them make something disappear. ARGYLE Since you're so good at magic, why don't you make that disappear. GOB Is that what I think it is? NARRATEUR Gob kept this part from Buster ARGYLE NARRATEUR but told him it was a mannequin and swore him to secrecy, nonetheless. GOB BUSTER Um, it was given to me but I can't tell you by whom. [R] BUSTER But Dusty thinks we're better off just ignoring it. MICHAEL Yeah, I- I think that's a bad idea and I- I'm a little concerned about Dusty. MICHAEL His inexperience could hurt you and I'm sorry, I can't let that happen. MICHAEL Not on my watch. BUSTER Mm-hmm. Yeah, I saw A Few Good Men too. BUSTER But Dusty's the real deal. BUSTER Sorry, Michael, game recognizes game. MICHAEL Mom is hiding something. MICHAEL She even asked Dusty to find some secret videos tapes. MICHAEL You wouldn't have any about where something like that would be, would you? BUSTER You don't have to save everyone, Michael. NARRATEUR Michael knew there was only one way to get Buster to turn on his mother. MICHAEL Okay, don't tell me. Dusty sure won't. MICHAEL Not after Mom told him he could call her mother. BUSTER They went to the cottage. I'd check the cottage. NARRATEUR Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything NARRATEUR and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. NARRATEUR It's Arrested Development. NARRATEUR Michael arrived at the family's beach cottage to discover that his brother's hunch was correct. MICHAEL Hello. MICHAEL Oh. MICHAEL Dusty, what are you doing? Research on the case? DUSTY Good. Mi-Michael, maybe you can help me. I, uh, DUSTY I don't really know what I'm looking for. DUSTY Believe it or not, I don't have that much trial experience. MICHAEL Yeah, sure. What are you trying to find? DUSTY Well, your mom told me to get rid of a bunch of these family tapes DUSTY but I can't imagine she'd wanna throw out all these memories. MICHAEL She asked you to get rid of family memories? DUSTY Why? Is that weird? MICHAEL No, it's just that typically the drinking does that. DUSTY Oh! Then that's good 'cause she called it evidence DUSTY but I don't think you're supposed to admit to destroying evidence in court? MICHAEL Sure. DUSTY Again, I don't have that much trial experience. MICHAEL Yeah. Hey, why don't- why don't we see what's in this box, huh? DUSTY Yeah. DUSTY Oh, uh, my mom- Your- your mom said that I'm supposed to be the only one who looks in there for the- MICHAEL I'm sure she wasn't talking about me, Dusty. DUSTY Uh, well actually, she said exactly you. DUSTY Even said the rules were posted, to be specific. DUSTY I'm pretty sure the towel thing's a shot at me. MICHAEL Okay, well, we don't need to do everything my mother asks us to do, right? DUSTY Well, that's true. You're right. DUSTY Mother said, "Don't open the box," but I don't see her around here anywhere. DUSTY Mother! I'm going to open the box! Mom's not here. DUSTY So, it turns out, she's not as all-powerful as I think she is. NARRATEUR Getting to call Lucille "Mother" had changed Dusty. DUSTY So, which ones do you wanna watch? "George Bluth Affair Caught In Act" DUSTY or "George Bluth Another Affair Caught In Act" high res? MICHAEL I know which one I would watch with a gun to my head. [R] DUSTY MICHAEL Not the high res. DUSTY MICHAEL "Buster, Age 8, Under Hypnosis, 1982". MICHAEL This- this is the year that they tried to get him to wean. MICHAEL Hang on. That was- that was '83. MICHAEL Uh, 1982 was, uh was. DUSTY Awesome. '82 was awesome good year. MICHAEL You haven't watched any of these? DUSTY Uh, these are three-quarter-inch. Michael, this is not a TV station in the '70s. NARRATEUR But fortunately, Michael knew someone at a news station in his seventies. MICHAEL Hey, let me take care of this, Dusty. DUSTY Yeah. Yeah. MICHAEL Yeah, I don't wanna be too sentimental here but these are my. MICHAEL precious family evidence MICHAEL so I should be the one that gets to destroy them. NARRATEUR After talking to Michael, Buster had grown even more nervous about keeping Gob's secret. GOB Listen, I understand. GOB You want me to testify that the body you dumped was Tony Wonder's magic dummy. GOB Because no one wants to get put away for murder. I get it. BUSTER Well, it is their main evidence against me and it does look like I'm disposing Lucille Two's body. GOB No, no, No. Very different body types, I can assure you. Just- GOB Even in the dark, you wouldn't make that, uh, mis- GOB Anyway, I'm concerned that, uh, you, uh, GOB couldn't truly enjoy your freedom knowing that you hurt my career. GOB And don't forget, Buster, when you were a boy, magic saved your life. BUSTER Um, uh, look, BUSTER we don't have to say that it was a Tony Wonder dummy. BUSTER We can tell them it's a random dummy. GOB And violate magician-assistant privilege? Not an option. GOB If you help me keep this illusion a secret, GOB then you can be my assistant for the rest of my magic career. GOB Every show, every city. BUSTER Hmm. GOB Pending availability and parole conditions, of course. BUSTER Yeah. But what if I'm convicted, Gob? GOB I don't know, I'll use it here. BUSTER Hmm. GOB But if you are acquitted, we can start as soon as next week 'cause I've got a big illusion planned. GOB You know that wall we're building? BUSTER No, I'm kind of out of the loop. Whose idea- GOB Doesn't matter. BUSTER Hmm. NARRATEUR But the gay mafia wasn't out of the loop. NARRATEUR which is what led to two of Argyle's cronies recently showing up in Gob's office. HUGO HUGO Where you been, Gob? DOUGLAS Argyle heard about the wall project DOUGLAS and he's a little insulted you didn't ask him for a sit-down first. HUGO Because, had you done the right thing and talked to Argyle, HUGO you'd have remembered we're Newport Beach's premier cement provider. HUGO Something you already knew, from the trick you did at the parade. DOUGLAS The one you did with your friend. DOUGLAS Tony Wonder? Well, [R] he certainly knows about it. GOB It- it's just a prototype wall, you know. I- I thought- I thought it was too. GOB small to bother Argyle with. HUGO Really? Even though you got Congresswoman Sally Sitwell to call for it. HUGO Because I'll tell you what, you get a federal contract, that's a lot of cement. [R] HUGO So why don't you let Argyle decide whether or not he's bothered. DOUGLAS Because if Argyle isn't happy, DOUGLAS the wall isn't gonna be the only thing covered in cement. NARRATEUR They were two tough guys right out of Guys and Dolls, NARRATEUR a play they were in the middle of a very successful four-week run of, NARRATEUR at a local community theater. NARRATEUR Reminds me of how Hanks walked around like Jim Lovett for a year. HUGO Argyle will be watching. HUGO And if he's happy, he just might be okay with letting you go back to being straight. NARRATEUR And while their affect may have been over the top, their threats were very real. GOB Nice guys. NARRATEUR Of course it would take Gob another hour to realize that. GOB So, here's the illusion. GOB I'm gonna go into the wall a gay man, which I am, BUSTER What? GOB if anyone from the gay mafia asks, GOB and then, when I come out the other side, GOB I will be magically straightened out. Well, cis male, hard butch. NARRATEUR Gob had learned a lot in the short time he became magically gay. GOB Buster. GOB you do this for me, one day. GOB I'll come to you for a favor. BUSTER NARRATEUR And so the next day, Michael sought out a highly respected journalist JOHN BEARD Can I get you a- a beer? Can I get you anything? I think I got a Lean Pocket around here somewhere. NARRATEUR who was going through a bitter divorce. MICHAEL Ah, no, I- I just- I had a- Nothing, thank you. JOHN BEARD You know, you look familiar to me. Ha- have we met before? MICHAEL Huh? MICHAEL Well, John, you used our house for "To Entrap a Local Predator." JOHN BEARD That's it! Oh, you were one of our super creeps. MICHAEL Yeah. MICHAEL Oh, uh, no. JOHN BEARD Oh, man, you were so out of it. MICHAEL Yeah. JOHN BEARD Yeah, I have it here somewhere. NARRATEUR And that's when Michael saw footage from a night of which he had no recollection. MICHAEL Sorry? JOHN BEARD MICHAEL That's me. MICHAEL What am I doing in a banana stand shirt? MICHAEL Can you go back before all this? NARRATEUR A night in which Michael arrived somewhat battered and bruised NARRATEUR to the model home and ran into a brother. GOB God, I'm just not into Cuatro this year. MICHAEL Oh, just- I just- I lost control. I did something that I. NARRATEUR with whom he shared some very cryptic information. MICHAEL wish I could forget. You've got no idea how I feel. NARRATEUR Before being surprised by a guest of his brother's. TONY WONDER Oh. MICHAEL What is he doing there? Is that Tony Wonder? NARRATEUR And Michael watched Gob give him a pill in order to preserve the secret of the tryst. MICHAEL I knew it! I always knew that. GOB Take this, Michael. Forget- Put the mask back on. Forget this, Michael. Forget- Forget, Michael. MICHAEL No, no, no! No! No! GOB Forget. Now's the time to forget. Now you're forgetting. JOHN BEARD Whatever it was, it knocked you out for two days. MICHAEL God. GOB Stupid forgetful Michael. NARRATEUR At that very moment, the man who had gave it to him was being questioned by Dusty. DUSTY Mr. Bluth, you and I are friends, don't you think? LOTTIE DOTTIE Objection! Is this going somewhere? DUSTY Yeah. That's what I wanted to find out. DUSTY So do you think we'll hang out together after this? GOB I'll allow it. Hang out, you mean like- like, go to the beach or something? JUDGE SPENCER STANLEY I'm sorry, how does that pertain? GOB I just wanna know if he'll let me see his fort because. DUSTY I'll allow it. GOB DUSTY I won't allow that. GOB No, that's- Sustained. That's- that's fine. That's fair. That's- yeah. DUSTY Mr. Bluth, you are a magician by trade. Is that correct? GOB Illusionist. DUSTY Oh. I'm sorry. GOB Oh, please. Sustained. I'll allow it. DUSTY And you've worked with the defendant before. DUSTY This assistant- this- this was your assistant. Is that correct? GOB Yes. He was my assistant. NARRATEUR And Gob realized that Buster had gotten him under oath not just as a character witness. DUSTY Didn't you say he is the best assistant you ever had? NARRATEUR but to compel him to take moral responsibility for the dumping of the body. GOB Yes, I did. DUSTY And what exactly was it that made him the best? NARRATEUR So Gob put the moral responsibility. GOB He would never reveal a secret. NARRATEUR back on Buster. GOB He would just act all dumb like, "I don't know what's happening either." BUSTER GOB And he could just- he was just so good at acting like, GOB "Where'd she go? What happened to her? She just- she vanished." GOB And he could take any object, no matter its size, and make it disappear. GOB Gone forever like it never existed. Can never find a trace of it. DUSTY Ladies and gentlemen of the jury- GOB And he had nerves of steel, I'll tell you that much. GOB Even if he was [R] cutting a woman in half GOB with that steel and then he'd make the steel disappear as well. DUSTY So cool. GOB He was just a very dumb-acting but. GOB secretly sneaky guy. NARRATEUR And a rift had opened up between the brothers. NARRATEUR But Michael had discovered that Gob was pretty sneaky himself. MICHAEL So, Gob Forget-Me-Now'd me because of Tony. MICHAEL And that would be news on any other day but that's not why I'm here. MICHAEL Can you play this tape for me, please? JOHN BEARD Yeah, sure. Did anyone tell you about the- you know, the, uh. MICHAEL Yes. Yeah. 20 dollar tape deck rental. JOHN BEARD All right, let's plop her in and see how she plays. MICHAEL Thank you. TOBIAS Doctor-to-be, Tobias Funke, subject, Byron Bluth, TOBIAS who is now in a deep hypnotic state TOBIAS and this is my doctoral research material on memory suppression. YOUNG BUSTER Memory suppression? TOBIAS No, not that. No. Give him some juice, please. TOBIAS off yesterday, what happened to Mimi? YOUNG BUSTER I pushed her down the stairs TOBIAS No, you didn't do anything. You're a good boy. Juice, please. TOBIAS What really happened is your mother pushed Mimi down the stairs. TOBIAS But what do we tell the police? YOUNG BUSTER Mother pushed Mimi down the stairs? TOBIAS No! No. No, please remove the juice, please. No. TOBIAS We tell the police that you pushed Mimi down the stairs. TOBIAS Uh, okay, watch me drink the juice, please. LUCILLE Oh, this is ridiculous. You're confusing him. LUCILLE Honey, even though we all know that I pushed Mimi down the stairs, LUCILLE if you tell anyone that, I'll go to jail. YOUNG BUSTER But I don't want you to go to jail. JOHN BEARD What a bitch. LUCILLE That's right. So, you have to save me by saying you did it. LUCILLE But nothing bad is going to happen to you because you're just a boy. YOUNG BUSTER I did it but nothing's gonna happen to me 'cause I'm just a boy. LUCILLE Can you say it again, please? TOBIAS Boy, I wish I hadn't finished that juice. YOUNG BUSTER I did it but nothing bad- NARRATEUR And that's where it ends. MICHAEL Can you transfer that onto something less obsolete? MICHAEL I- I gotta save my brother. MICHAEL I think it's time to find out if Mother can handle the truth. JOHN BEARD A Few Good Men, great movie. But first I just gotta wash the pile of gym towels I've been sleeping on. MICHAEL Sure. Take your time. MAN 2 Orange County Courthouse. MICHAEL Uh, yeah, is the Bluth case still in session? NARRATEUR It was. NARRATEUR As after Gob had outsmarted a dumb lawyer, LOTTIE DOTTIE Mr. Bluth, you said he helped you hide objects in your magic act. NARRATEUR the question was, could he outdumb a smart lawyer? LOTTIE DOTTIE So, these objects that Buster could hide, LOTTIE DOTTIE were they as big as a human body? GOB Oh, God, yeah, yeah. GOB Just- often the exact same dimension of a human body- GOB of an average human male- or female body. Often a female body. GOB Any female body. LOTTIE DOTTIE This list of skills you mentioned, LOTTIE DOTTIE were they helpful for say, covering up a crime? GOB I see what you're doing. GOB Yes, it would. LOTTIE DOTTIE No more questions. GOB Interesting, huh? Hers were a lot easier than his. MICHAEL Permission to interrupt the case. JUDGE SPENCER STANLEY Could you identify yourself? GOB Mike, you missed it. I killed up there. MICHAEL I am Michael Bluth. MICHAEL I am the brother of the defendant and- and co-counsel [R] to Dusty. MICHAEL Permission to join the defense. DUSTY Oh, that'd be great timing because I've been drinking all this free court water. JUDGE SPENCER STANLEY Does the prosecution have any objections? LOTTIE DOTTIE Oh, let him go. LOTTIE DOTTIE He worked through recess. JUDGE SPENCER STANLEY All right, Mr. Bluth, call your next witness. MICHAEL I would like to call Lucille Bluth, the accused mother. JUDGE SPENCER STANLEY I think you mean the accused's mother. MICHAEL Oh, what did I say? MICHAEL Mrs. Bluth, would you please state your relationship to the defendant. LUCILLE Look at you milking this for every moment. Isn't this classic Michael? BUSTER We make fun of him all the time. Right, Gob? NARRATEUR The rift between the brothers had been repaired. MICHAEL Please just answer the question. LUCILLE I'm his mother. MICHAEL The district attorney has provided some very provocative information about the defendant. MICHAEL She has claimed that he was responsible at a very young age MICHAEL for pushing our grandmother, Mimi, MICHAEL down the stairs, thus that he killed before. LUCILLE What are you doing, Michael? Trying to prove the prosecution's theories? LUCILLE Stop showing off and get to the point. MICHAEL What if Buster did not push Mimi down the stairs? LUCILLE What are you talking about? MICHAEL The question is, do you recall the night in 1982, when Mimi died? LUCILLE Where are you going with this, Michael? MICHAEL I just want the truth. LUCILLE Oh, God. Are you going for one of your "Few Good Men" moments? MICHAEL Surely you remember the night that your mother died. LUCILLE Of course I do. Terrible what happened. MICHAEL Tell me, what did happen? Because the prosecution would have us believe MICHAEL that Buster Bluth, your son, my brother, was responsible for that death. LUCILLE Well, he did confess to it. MICHAEL So, it seems that even Buster believes the story that happened in 1982. LUCILLE It was an accident. He was very young, he didn't understand the consequences. MICHAEL So you are stating, as a fact, that Buster pushed your mother down the stairs. LUCILLE Buster says Buster pushed my mother. MICHAEL And I think you pushed your mother. MICHAEL I think that Mimi might not have been the only person that took a fall that night. MICHAEL I think you let Buster take a fall for you. LUCILLE Oh! I see. So, if I pushed my mother down the stairs, maybe I did this too? MICHAEL Maybe you did. LUCILLE I- I thought this was about my mother. MICHAEL It's about family. All of it. LUCILLE Stay on topic, Michael. MICHAEL Okay, fine, let's do that. Where were you the night that Lucille Austero disappeared? LUCILLE I don't know where I was. I don't know who was where. Where were you? MICHAEL Well, I came home from somewhere. Not the point. MICHAEL The- the point is, we're talking about you, not me. LUCILLE Well, maybe we should talk about you. You were there. You owed her money. LUCILLE AUSTERO I really need. MICHAEL Sure. LUCILLE Borrowed it, didn't you, Michael? MICHAEL Yes, I did borrow money because I care about the family which I thought- LUCILLE Oh, stay on topic. You bounce like a beach ball. MICHAEL I'm answering your question. I'm saying sometimes when you care about a family, MICHAEL or even a business, you do some things [R] that other people might not understand. LUCILLE What? MICHAEL What I might do... LUCILLE AUSTERO Are you. MICHAEL And- and- and sometimes you do bad things that you don't remember or- or I don't wanna remember. GEORGE SR Hey, objection. LUCILLE Michael's out of contr- You're out of control. MICHAEL And so. MICHAEL being out of control that night but at least I can admit it. MAN Did someone call objection? LUCILLE Admit what? You're talking like you killed Lucille Austero. MICHAEL You're goddamn right I did. NARRATEUR And that's how Michael A Few Good Men'd himself. MICHAEL I think. MICHAEL I, uh, I- I, uh, I was there. I was there and, uh. LUCILLE AUSTERO Hey, Michael, I really need that money I lent you. MICHAEL I think that I went there to see Lucille Two. I was mad at her. I- I had borrowed money. MICHAEL Sure. LUCILLE AUSTERO Do you have something for me? LUCILLE MICHAEL Does bad news count? MICHAEL I'm so ashamed. LUCILLE AUSTERO What are you doing? MICHAEL I offered to sleep with her so that she would forget my 700,000 dollar debt. MICHAEL I'm gonna have sex with you, for money. BUSTER Nice humble brag. MICHAEL And then we fought. MICHAEL I cannot be held responsible for what I might do. MICHAEL And I must've done something to her and gotten my shirt bloody or something. LUCILLE AUSTERO Are you threatening me, Michael? MICHAEL Well. MICHAEL Why else would I have changed it in the banana stand to the other. LUCILLE Stop it. You don't know what you're talking about. MICHAEL But I definitely drove the stair car home and that's why it was next to the house. MICHAEL And, uh, a pill. Gob gave me that pill. MICHAEL That's- that's what I saw on the video at- at John Beard's. MICHAEL Which is why I had forgotten that I was at Cinco. LUCILLE Okay, Michael, that's enough. MICHAEL I mean, and even I was starting to believe that Buster. But, uh. MICHAEL I think that I'm the killer. NARRATEUR And perhaps it was at that moment that Lottie realized. LOTTIE DOTTIE I object. NARRATEUR she had no chance of winning. LOTTIE DOTTIE The opposing council is confessing. MICHAEL No further confessions, Your Honor. NARRATEUR It was a stunningly dramatic twist. A real Making a Monster type moment. LUCILLE Michael, honest to God, what the hell was that? MICHAEL Yeah. LUCILLE You had me on the stand, you were making me look like a murderer. MICHAEL I'm sorry, Mom, I found the tapes. MICHAEL Where you were making Buster think that he pushed Mimi down the stairs. LUCILLE Exactly. Those were the tapes I wanted you to find. LUCILLE I couldn't have laid it out any more clearly for you. LUCILLE All you had to do was get me on the stand and make me look like a liar. [R] LUCILLE How do you screw that up? MICHAEL Screw that up? MICHAEL What, you wanted me to accuse you of pushing Mimi down the stairs? LUCILLE Well, we couldn't have the jury thinking Buster did it LUCILLE because they'd be totally convinced he did the same thing to Lucille Two, too. LUCILLE And I couldn't exactly accuse myself of killing Mimi. LUCILLE I would just look like a loving mother, lying to protect her son. LUCILLE But I didn't push Mimi down the stairs, Buster did. MICHAEL Mom, you're on tape admitting that you did it and telling Buster to confess to being the murderer. LUCILLE And he thought he was saying that to save his mother. LUCILLE We were implanting a memory. LUCILLE We didn't want him growing up thinking he was a killer. MICHAEL Instead he thinks he's a hero. Meanwhile, I grow up thinking I'm a hero and I turn out to be a killer. LUCILLE I'm sure you didn't kill anyone. MICHAEL No, no, I think I did. I think they're- they're probably on their way to come lock me up right now. LUCILLE Lottie's not going to reopen the case. MICHAEL Mom, I just confessed in there. LUCILLE That you were drugged and don't fully remember. MICHAEL But- but, why did I change shirts? Why- why did I say I lost control? LUCILLE Michael, they've got nothing. No body. It's a mistrial. LUCILLE It's over. LUCILLE Dusty told me two brothers can't be charged for the same crime. MICHAEL Well, I hate to say it but you may have been getting better advice from Barry. MICHAEL But I should talk. I mean, I thought- I thought I was- I was better than this family. MICHAEL But I've made a mess of everything. MICHAEL I- I couldn't keep Lindsay around, MICHAEL my son'll likely be ruined at the wall unveiling for not having the software. MICHAEL That's my fault. MICHAEL Turns out I'm the worst. I'm the worst Bluth. LUCILLE Never say that. LUCILLE Gob is the worst. MICHAEL Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. NARRATEUR On the day of both the wall and the Fakeblock software unveiling, NARRATEUR the Bluth family was growing anxious. GEORGE SR I don't know. Do you think Michael's gonna show? LUCILLE LUCILLE And miss a chance to save the day? LUCILLE Look, we need this part to go well. Sally Sitwell can't shut this down before the presentation. GEORGE SR I'm actually more worried about the Chinese. I don't think they're happy with the protesters. GEORGE SR Yeah, if this doesn't work, they'll never stop coming after us for the debt. GEORGE SR Oh, God, I just got an amiable nod. LUCILLE Are you sure it was amiable? GEORGE SR Yeah, it was pretty amiable. LUCILLE Okay, look away. LUCILLE I wouldn't want our congresswoman to think we're colluding. SALLY SITWELL Hello, Lucille. LUCILLE Sally! SALLY SITWELL Colluding with who? LUCILLE Oh, the protesters. I don't know who let these libtards in here. SALLY SITWELL I beg your pardon? GEORGE SR Oh, people with liberal tardation. SALLY SITWELL Well, they're sure not making it any easier for me to sign off on this prototype. SALLY SITWELL I can't believe you let them in. GEORGE SR Yeah. LUCILLE We didn't let them in. I- I don't even know how they got past the guard gate. SALLY SITWELL GEORGE SR You know maybe we should think about hiring a guard. LUCILLE Oh God, I see the problem. LUCILLE Frosty the snowflake over there. TOBIAS What do we want? WOMAN 1 No wall! TOBIAS When do we want it? WOMAN 1 We don't. TOBIAS Well, that doesn't exactly- LUCILLE Tobias! TOBIAS Go limp! Go limp! TOBIAS No! No, no, no, no. TOBIAS You- you look like you're at a walking dead convention. TOBIAS No! Limp, like, flaccid, unerect. LUCILLE Uh, George? GEORGE SR Mm. LUCILLE I think you should welcome some of your friends over there. GEORGE SR Can't believe my dry cleaners came. SALLY SITWELL What are you doing? Are you not a member of this family? LUCILLE Uh, he wants to be but this is going to guarantee it'll never happen. SALLY SITWELL TOBIAS Well, I'm sorry but I'm doing this for ethical reasons. LUCILLE TOBIAS I need the money. SALLY SITWELL Money? SALLY SITWELL These are paid protesters? LUCILLE Who's paying you? MAEBY I am. MAEBY And Dad, I made you a chant follower, not a chant leader. TOBIAS Chant follower? MAEBY I'm not paying you for that. MAEBY Anyway, yes, we're protesting. MAEBY This family can make George Michael into a fully blown Bluth, but they're not gonna do the same to me. LUCILLE No, it's turning you into your mother. MAEBY Well, maybe this will bring her back to this family. SALLY SITWELL Lucille, I am sorry, I cannot authorize this wall in front of all these protesters. SALLY SITWELL Especially when it is your family that's doing the protesting. SALLY SITWELL I'll look ridiculous. I- Channel 52 is here. LUCILLE What is she paying you? TOBIAS Three dollars an hour and a copy of the news footage for my reel. LUCILLE How'd you like to be a Bluth? TOBIAS Fully blown? LUCILLE No. LUCILLE And not your creepy girlfriend or your imbecilic son. TOBIAS Funny story, that. [R] They left me. TOBIAS I wear the horns of a cuckold. TOBIAS That's why you don't put your girlfriend in the same sleeping bag with your son. TOBIAS But, hey, I'm not gonna let him share mine. I like to spread my legs. MAEBY Apparently, so does DeBrie. TOBIAS Okay, don't worry about it. These people will follow me anywhere. Hmm? TOBIAS Okay, folks, change of plans! TOBIAS Now, you guys got through but let's keep the rest of your family members away. TOBIAS I say we do put up the wall. Huh? TOBIAS Yes? What's happening? What- what- Oh, no! Go limp! Go limp! MAN 3 Are we kicking? I got this. TOBIAS Go limp! SALLY SITWELL Okay, that might buy us a little time. NARRATEUR Which is exactly what George was doing with the Chinese investors. GEORGE SR Everything good? CHINESE MAN Mm-hmm. GEORGE SR Good. I think you're gonna be very, very impressed by the wall. GEORGE SR It's gonna, you know, keep everything out. CHINESE MAN We are much more concerned with the software portion of the demonstration. CHINESE MAN We are very eager to see how it interferes with the broadcast. CHINESE MAN We need something like that in China. GEORGE SR Because your game shows are the worst. GEORGE SR Oh, and of course, uh, this will be very helpful in avoiding the spread of democracy. NARRATEUR And soon, Buster caught up with his mother. BUSTER Hello, Mother. LUCILLE BUSTER Didn't expect to see you here. LUCILLE AUSTERO Why the hell wouldn't I be here? BUSTER No, you would be. I wouldn't. You didn't invite me. BUSTER But fortunately, Gob invited me. BUSTER Hey, Gob! I bet you think you're seeing me here. GOB Yeah, well, you're part of the illusion. BUSTER Okay, I'll meet you backstage. GOB Yeah I expect to see you there. Why are you. BUSTER BUSTER I bet you didn't expect him to expect to see me back there. LUCILLE W- what did he mean? He'd not using you in his show, is he? BUSTER Yeah, because I'm a good assistant and unlike you, I know how to keep a secret. BUSTER I can't believe you told Warden Gentles about our family secrets. LUCILLE Look, you wanted to get out for the parade and I drank too much, okay? LUCILLE This is why you don't go to rehab. I lost all my tolerance. LUCILLE But I tried to fix it. That's why I wanted Michael to expose that I was to blame. LUCILLE How was I to know he'd point the finger at himself? LUCILLE But it worked. BUSTER Mother, I know the truth now. BUSTER I always thought you pushed Mimi down the stairs and you made me take the blame. BUSTER But I got it backwards. BUSTER I pushed Mimi down the stairs and you made me take the blame. That part's the same. BUSTER But I wanna thank you for that. BUSTER You were just trying to protect me. BUSTER Can you imagine how weird I would've turned out if I thought I did it. [R] LUCILLE I really can't. NARRATEUR And soon it was time for the presentation to begin. GOB Please welcome to the stage the president of Fakeblock, Mr. Gob Bluth! GOB Gob! Who said Gob? GOB Gob- Gob- Gob. Thank you. Someone calling my- GOB As many of you know, for thousands of years the US-Mexico border has been woefully unfenced. GOB But today that changes. GOB Not literally today. Obviously today we're just here for approval and a small piece of- GOB Why am I being so serious? We're gonna be rich. GOB With this wall. GOB Okay, not yet. Come on. Get off. Get out. GOB Today, in these plywood forms, 10,000 pounds GOB of wet, gay, quick hard cement will be poured because GOB if we build it, they won't come. MAEBY That's clever. All right, get ready to storm the wall. GOB But before I demonstrate to you the software that will. GOB I don't know, I guess just stop tweeting from shithole countries. GOB I'd like to make a special demonstration of my own. GOB As many of you know, I performed a trick a couple of months ago where I turned from straight- GOB Uh-huh. To gay. Uh-huh. WOMAN IN BLUE SHIRT Now? MAEBY No, let's see how this pans out first. GOB While my friend, Tony Wonder, GOB was encased in cement and never heard from again. GOB ...face. GOB Well, now it's my turn to transform back GOB which I will do by starting on the other side of the wall a gay man GOB and turning straight as I walk right through it. TOBIAS Ladies, gentlemen, please take a- take five from the beating. TOBIAS You can get back to it. I wanna see how this trick works out. GOB And to help me do that, my assistant, direct from his mistrial, GOB please welcome to the stage, Byron "Buster" Bluth. TOBIAS BUSTER BUSTER Mm. GOB How does it feel to be accused of murder? BUSTER It was a lot of work but I didn't do it. BUSTER They found me not guilty. GOB Well, it was a mistrial. GOB So, they found you not not guilty. BUSTER There was no body. They will never find the body. LUCILLE Maybe I shouldn't have smoked during his pregnancy. GOB Never found the body. Well, that must've been some magic trick. GEORGE SR Well, to be fair, you- you hate to drink without a cigarette. BUSTER Speaking of magic, you ought to get on with [R] yours. MAN 4 Murderer! BUSTER Not proven! GOB It didn't stick, asshole. GOB Now for the easy part. Get off. Get- GOB Climbing over the wall so I can begin the illusion on the. GOB Get away! other side. GEORGE SR You know it actually is a bit of a flaw that anybody can get over our wall by using a rope ladder. NARRATEUR And while Gob was shredding what little dignity he had left, NARRATEUR George Michael was showing respect to the family's Chinese benefactors. CHINESE MAN How long until the clown is done with the clown show? GEORGE MICHAEL Oh, well, he's- Technically, he's not a clown, he's, um. GEORGE MICHAEL About five minutes. Maybe six if he has a hard time getting his shirt off. GEORGE MICHAEL But, you know, I just kind of have to let him do this. He's my uncle. CHINESE MAN We have a word for this in Chinese. CHINESE MAN It means a combination of embarrassment and obligation. GEORGE MICHAEL We need a word like that. NARRATEUR And after descending to the other side of the wall with the help of his assistant, NARRATEUR Gob is ready for his transformation. GOB Now behind the wall, still fully gay. GOB But in a moment I'll be on the other side. GOB So, ladies, prepare to be objectified. GOB Ooh! Mami! Seal me in. BUSTER GOB No! You get out! GOB Okay, now I still need to somehow get through this plywood form. GOB But I'm still gay so, I'm not very good with tools. [R] GOB So, I have to use magic. BUSTER He's inside the wall. GOB I'm making it. GOB I'm turned to plywood! GOB Oh, I'm drinking a beer. GOB My references are becoming more basic. GOB I think Billy Unger is me. GOB Buster prepare the other side for my emergence. NARRATEUR And Michael showed up just in time. GOB Gay masons, begin the pour! NARRATEUR for the cement to be dropped on his brother. NARRATEUR While his son was wrapping up business about a software product his father had been told did not work. GEORGE MICHAEL After this embarrassment, we will get the wall contract and, um, you will be very wealthy. CHINESE MAN You are confident the software is effective because we could make you very wealthy. GEORGE MICHAEL Well, we can't sell you Fakeblock for the wall. We're just doing the software on a licensing basis. GEORGE MICHAEL We're on the verge of selling the company to a major commercial actress- GEORGE MICHAEL I'm sorry, a commercial enterprise. GEORGE MICHAEL In fact, I have the contracts for them to sign right here after the presentation to sell them Fakeblock. MICHAEL Hey, hey, hey. What's that? Are you- you're selling Fakeblock? MICHAEL To who? GEORGE MICHAEL No, Dad, it doesn't matter, just, please- MICHAEL Hey, hold on. MICHAEL Is it- is it Rebel? Are you selling the software to the Howards? GEORGE MICHAEL Do not get in the middle of this. MICHAEL Son, you said you would not sell the company to her because it didn't work. MICHAEL But- but it does work, doesn't it? You just don't want me to know about it. GEORGE MICHAEL MICHAEL Is that why you're trying to sell it before the demonstration? GEORGE MICHAEL Uh, this is not the time. MICHAEL You cannot do this. You cannot do this because you're not the president. MICHAEL You're just the founder. Gob is the president. MICHAEL Can't sign it without his signature. GEORGE MICHAEL Oh, no? Read the contract. As long as the president is incapacitated, it's mine to sell. MICHAEL No. MICHAEL Incapacitated? What are you talking about? Where's Gob? GEORGE MICHAEL Oh, well, let's just say he's, uh, in between things at the moment, okay? GEORGE MICHAEL He's plastered, all right? GEORGE MICHAEL He's doing that Tony Wonder trick where they pour cement on him GEORGE MICHAEL but last I heard he didn't know how to do it so you might want to check in on that. MICHAEL I don't get it. I don't- I- I- I don't get why you would do this. What happened to family first? GEORGE MICHAEL I am putting my family first. GEORGE MICHAEL My new family. GEORGE MICHAEL How would you like me now, Dad? GEORGE MICHAEL How would you like me now? MICHAEL Of course you choose them because you never forgave me for Rebel, did you? MICHAEL After everything that I've done for you, you're still trying to teach me a lesson? MICHAEL Well, I got news for you. MICHAEL You can't sell because I am still part owner, in stock, and I'm not incapacitated. GEORGE MICHAEL No, not yet. GEORGE MICHAEL You know what you have in common with my new dad? NARRATEUR And that's when, in my opinion, George Michael went too far. GEORGE MICHAEL You could both use a hit. MICHAEL GEORGE MICHAEL I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I'm- NARRATEUR As did Michael. NARRATEUR And an animosity that had been building was finally acted out. GEORGE MICHAEL MICHAEL NARRATEUR And while the father and son fought next to the quickly hard-drying wall. GOB In here. GOB Almost there. NARRATEUR Gob could be heard trying to fight his way through it. BUSTER Mm. GOB More cement than I anticipated. BUSTER He's supposed to say remove the plywood now. BUSTER I don't know why he's not saying it. Gob? BUSTER You want me to remove the plywood now? BUSTER This is quick-drying cement so the sooner you can answer. GEORGE MICHAEL MICHAEL MICHAEL MICHAEL Okay, I'm so so sorry about that. We really want to be in business with you guys. MICHAEL We don't- we don't act like this all the time. MICHAEL And I can assure you that I am in complete authority over both the Bluth Company and Fakeblock MICHAEL and we'd love to do this deal with you. CHINESE MAN But they told me you were fired. MICHAEL No, I'm on the board. Third in succession, if the other two are incapacitated. NARRATEUR Only feet away, one of those incapacitations was on display, as with no response from his brother... BUSTER You're going to be trapped if I don't do something. BUSTER Oh, screw it! BUSTER You're gonna be mad at me, Gob, BUSTER but I would rather have a brother who's alive and maybe bisexual than dead and straight. BUSTER I declare a mistrick. BUSTER Remove the form! NARRATEUR Buster appeared to panic. BUSTER NARRATEUR That's how Gob, years before anyone else, ended up with an immovable position supporting a wall. BUSTER GOB BUSTER Uh-huh. GOB BUSTER Uh-huh. BUSTER He's mad. NARRATEUR As were the Chinese. CHINESE MAN We're sorry, we can't be in a business with a family like this. CHINESE MAN And we look forward to your repayment of our generosity. MICHAEL I can't- I can't do that. We have nothing that- that we can give you. MICHAEL We need to build the wall so that we can end our debt to you. CHINESE MAN Well, we might be happy with just the software component. MICHAEL You wanna. MICHAEL You wanna buy Fakeblock? MICHAEL Well, we should- let's- we should wait until after the demonstration. MICHAEL I- I don't want you to take on too much risk and I wouldn't know what to charge you, sir. CHINESE MAN You will just sign it over and your debt will be forgiven. CHINESE MAN But this has to happen quickly before the young clown comes to or they pull the dead clown out of the wall. CHINESE MAN We will agree to take this risk. TONY WONDER Go, go, go, go! MICHAEL And I guess we should do this quickly. NARRATEUR And while these predatory businessmen signed their okay. MICHAEL Okay, well, me, you. NARRATEUR to taking over a company from a family that had fallen apart. NARRATEUR a father and son signed their okay, knowing they hadn't. CHINESE MAN I hope this allows you to save face for your family. MICHAEL Well, thank you. CHINESE MAN CHINESE MAN NARRATEUR But on stage, it was Gob's face that was at risk. TONY WONDER What's the matter? Bust him outta there. BUSTER You can't use the sledgehammer, you'll kill him. TONY WONDER Did somebody say "Wonder"? GOB No, but I wonder if Gob is still alive! NARRATEUR He was. NARRATEUR And as straight as he'd ever been. BUSTER And I missed my cue. NARRATEUR And Gob and Tony finally reconnected. TONY WONDER Hey. sorry about jumping my line. GOB Oh no, I don't think anyone noticed. GOB They're probably just so surprised to see me still alive. TONY WONDER Kind of like you were blown away to see me alive, right? GOB Well, you disappeared during that closet bit. I- I thought that you were ghosting me. GOB Just to make me feel like a fool. TONY WONDER No, no, look, I had to switch out with a mannequin in the closet and pretend I was in the cement. GOB Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, no, I figured that out to do the- GOB But when the gay mafia dumped that body on me, GOB you know, I- I just, uh, I don't know, I- I thought maybe- maybe it wasn't a trick. TONY WONDER Oh, so they wanted to scare you. God, they're such a bunch of drama thugs. GOB TONY WONDER Well, I might not have been dead but my career was. TONY WONDER I was doing three shows a day at Branson and the, uh, Yakov Smirnoff theater. GOB GOB Ooh, what's he like? TONY WONDER Disappointing. Dispp- Uh, disappointing. TONY WONDER Yeah, he treats you like an audience member, you know? TONY WONDER But, you freed me from that. I still don't know how you got those mafia guys to cancel my contract. GOB Well, I offered them a better contract. GOB So, I guess we're just a couple of straight guys again. TONY WONDER What a relief, huh? GOB Same. Big time same. GOB I guess I can go back to Joni Beard now. TONY WONDER Yeah and I might make it official with Sally Sitwell, so, uh. SALLY SITWELL Tony! TONY WONDER Hey, yes, I see you. Cool out. One sec. TONY WONDER She's, um. Ever since her dad went missing, she needs somebody to run Sitwell constructions, so. GOB Just. GOB I guess that would make us competitors. TONY WONDER I guess, uh, friendship is out of the question then. TONY WONDER TONY WONDER Though GOB But, I mean, maybe we could still do other stuff. TONY WONDER Yeah! Like, with our hands. GOB Just hands. TONY WONDER I'd like that. GOB Me too. TONY WONDER Just hands! GOB Just hands! NARRATEUR And with the Chinese delegation gone, Michael and his son celebrate. GEORGE MICHAEL Hey, you were right. That went great. MICHAEL Yeah! GEORGE MICHAEL Like, great idea to have me lose that tooth when I hit the ground there. MICHAEL And you know, we actually printed that in less than 2 hours? It was- it was really good, son. GOB MICHAEL Hey, hey, hey, perfect timing. GOB Chinese impressed? Or were they not? They didn't see the big finish. Maybe they- BUSTER MICHAEL Uh, well, no, they- they got a sense of you. Very accurate. GOB Yes, well, we have Buster to thank for that. GOB I gave him the mask and asked him to throw it on a mannequin to put in the wall. GOB God knows where he dug that up. BUSTER A good assistant never tells. And I see you've ruined another shirt. GOB Good for you. I thought you'd chicken out and crack at the finish. BUSTER GOB If that's, you know, maybe not. NARRATEUR And perhaps it was those words NARRATEUR that helped Michael remember what it was that happened on the night of Cinco. LUCILLE AUSTERO Are you threatening me, Michael? Oh, no, you're too chicken for that. MICHAEL You're the chicken and not a spring one, I might add. LUCILLE AUSTERO NARRATEUR after talking to Lucille Two. LUCILLE AUSTERO How dare you say that to me! NARRATEUR that he was so ashamed of. MICHAEL LUCILLE AUSTERO MICHAEL Oh! LUCILLE AUSTERO MICHAEL NARRATEUR It was a fowl impression that not only cost him his last shirt. MICHAEL LUCILLE AUSTERO Are you all right? NARRATEUR but that he chose to keep to himself. BUSTER Well, I didn't chicken out. I mean, people even say I stole the show. GOB You know, I don't think. BUSTER You know, I'm thinking about doing like a solo show, maybe do some close-up magic, a little slight of- GEORGE MICHAEL Foot! BUSTER Oh, is it that obvious? GOB MICHAEL Did you get that from my office? BUSTER Yeah, I Ali Baba'd a hand but at least they sent me a lefty, you know. LUCILLE Just talked to Sally. She's never going to approve the wall. Called it a debacle. GEORGE SR And the Chinese got stuck with the software. MICHAEL Yeah. GOB Wait, but isn't it really valuable? [R] Didn't Murphy Brown fix it? NARRATEUR Briefly. GEORGE MICHAEL You made Fakeblock. MURPHY BROWN You wanna see Ben Affleck's peen? NARRATEUR Because after installing his homemade software into George Michael's computer, TOBIAS Huh. What do we have here? Yeah. What is it? What? NARRATEUR certain functional limitations became more apparent. TOBIAS Where is it? It's all- It's all scrambled- TOBIAS It's- it's gone! MURPHY BROWN Yeah, and forever. I fixed it so there's no way to actually see the movie now. MURPHY BROWN So, um. GEORGE MICHAEL So basically you just came up with a way to destroy content. MURPHY BROWN Yeah. GEORGE MICHAEL Dammit. TOBIAS All right. TOBIAS We're back to poor. Looks like you two will be sharing a sleeping bag tonight. GOB It's just sad because we also don't have the wall and it would've been so nice to be super rich again, you know? GEORGE SR Oh, nobody's gonna build a wall. GEORGE SR According to the succeeding New York Times, GEORGE SR Donald Trump doesn't even have a- a chance of winning that election. LUCILLE Oh, I don't know, don't count out his likability. BUSTER Oh, I suppose someone should let toe quotes "Rebel" know that the deal is off, right? MICHAEL Yeah, gotta- gotta say thanks to her. NARRATEUR But of course Rebel wasn't in on the con, Maeby was. GOB Hey, Michael. GEORGE SR Oh, how about that? I guess they really did save the day. LUCILLE Shh! They'll hear you and then they'll want something for being heroes. TOBIAS Well, too late, I already did hear you. TOBIAS They're here for their paychecks but I'll settle for a bedroom with half bath. LUCILLE Nice try but it wasn't exactly your idea to protest. It was your daughters. TOBIAS Where is that rebel? NARRATEUR She was celebrating with her cousin. BUSTER Wow! Well, someone thinks his cousin is his mom. LUCILLE Uh, ex- excuse me. It wasn't her idea to have paid protesters. It was mine. LUCILLE I was hoping it would bring out Lucille Austero. BUSTER But the trial is done. [R] I mean, why do we care? BUSTER You don't really think I had anything to do with her missing, do you? BUSTER Do you? TOBIAS No. LUCILLE Oh, no, Buster, of course not. GEORGE SR I? Personally, I have nothing. GOB Oh, hey, man, cool it. TOBIAS No, no, no. TOBIAS GOB Remember who's in your corner. MAEBY Why is everybody so scared? Oh. Hi, uncle Buster. TOBIAS We were just speculating as to where Lucille Two ended up. BUSTER Hello. TOBIAS Uh, we assumed she'd be here to protest. MAEBY Well, maybe there's a surprise under one of these burqas. LUCILLE You have got to be kidding. LUCILLE Well, it's about time you showed your face after what you've done to our family, Luci- LUCILLE Lindsay. LINDSAY Hi. TOBIAS Wait, so, at the protester be- That was you kicking me in the balls. [R] LINDSAY In the balls, yeah. TOBIAS Yeah, your mother was kicking me in the balls. LUCILLE I thought you left to find your real mother. LINDSAY She's dead. Buster pushed her down some stairs. BUSTER Oh, my God, Lucille Two is your mother? LINDSAY Mimi. Not Lucille Two. BUSTER Oh, right, that is who I pushed down the stairs. I thought Lucille Two- GOB [R] You did. You did push Mimi. GEORGE SR Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey. Take it easy. BUSTER I just- I just put my. How often do you get to do something like that when you're holding one thing- LUCILLE Shh! MAEBY I showed her the rest of the Ron Howard series. LUCILLE I knew this day was too good to be true. LUCILLE Let me have it. I'm a liar and a terrible mother for keeping it from you. LINDSAY Yeah, that's kind of true. LINDSAY Your anger spread to me, made me a horrible partner to Tobias. TOBIAS And I will say you weren't the most loving mommy yourself. TOBIAS But, to be fair, you barely knew Murphy Brown, so. MAEBY Well, what the fuck! TOBIAS Yes! Oh, yes, you were a horrible mother to Maeby, too. LINDSAY Okay, but, on the other hand, you hid this ugly secret from me so I wouldn't know my mother deserted me? LINDSAY So, you were a critical and difficult mother but I gotta be honest, Luci, you're an amazing sister! LUCILLE Half-sister. LINDSAY TOBIAS I'm wondering if this means that you will, uh, perhaps be willing to take me back. LINDSAY We're a family. TOBIAS GEORGE SR NARRATEUR Maeby really wanted to roll her eyes, but not as much as she wanted the hug. GEORGE SR Wow. Family of the year. GOB The mother year! BUSTER GEORGE SR Huh? Nothing breaks us apart. LUCILLE GOB Hey, what happened to Michael and George Michael? It's like they never showed up. It's like. GOB Where the hell are they going? LUCILLE He's probably pulling the car around. MAEBY Actually, I think they might be ready to move on. LUCILLE Huh, right. Michael always comes back. TOBIAS Yeah, he thinks he has to wring us together. GEORGE SR BUSTER LINDSAY GOB Oh, Michael is such a zero. BUSTER Oh, he'll be back! LINDSAY Yeah, Michael always comes back. GOB Oh, he'll be back. GOB Especially after something goes horribly wrong, based on something stupid we did. GOB I mean, this- He'll be- God, Michael. GEORGE SR No, no, I don't think anything's gonna go horribly wrong for a long, long time. NARRATEUR On the next Arrested Development. CONSTRUCTION WORKER So, we're taking down the wall. What do you want us to do about this part? NARRATEUR the family deals with some fall out from the wall. GOB Oh, no, that's nothing. Just take it down. BUSTER You know, I don't think we should do that. It'll give away the trick. We don't wanna reveal the trick. GOB Buster, what are you talking- It doesn't matter, okay? Everybody knows it's not me, but a mannequin. GOB That's the trick. LUCILLE Uh, yeah, it's creepy. It looks like a person. Get it out of here. GOB Plus, I wanna get my mask back. LUCILLE Oh! LINDSAY Oh my. TOBIAS Hey, gang, does Buster's mannequin look like. GEORGE SR Judy Garland. GOB Yeah LUCILLE Is it Lucille Two? LINDSAY Why is she smiling? POLICEMAN This isn't a mannequin. POLICEMAN This is. POLICEMAN the happiest corpse I've ever seen. BUSTER BUSTER Okay, I did it. BUSTER So. BUSTER But doesn't she remind you of Mom?