BARRY_ZUCKERCORN BRYCE_HOWARD BUSTER_BLUTH CHERYL_HOWARD DISGRUNTLED_RIDER_1 DISGRUNTLED_RIDER_2 GEORGE_BLUTH_SR GEORGE_MICHAEL_BLUTH GOB_BLUTH JOSLINE KITTY_SANCHEZ LUCILLE_BLUTH MAEBY_FUNKE MICHAEL_BLUTH MURPHY_BROWN PAIGE_HOWARD RANCE_HOWARD REBEL_ALLEY REED_HOWARD RON_HOWARD SECURITY_GUARD SECURITY_GUARD_1 SECURITY_GUARD_2 STAN_SITWELL TOBIAS_FUNKE TONY_WONDER RON HOWARD While attempting to bail out his brother, Buster, Michael had accidentally bailed out the family attorney. MICHAEL BLUTH Barry, what's it gonna cost to get Buster out? BARRY ZUCKERCORN Oh, I don't know. I mean what's he in for? Murder? Manslaughter? MICHAEL BLUTH No there- there's no murder. He just- he simply tampered with some evidence when Lucille Two went missing. BARRY ZUCKERCORN I would say over 50,000 dollars. MICHAEL BLUTH Mm-hmm. Yeah well, I told you, I'm tapped out. BARRY ZUCKERCORN What, uh, couldn't you just embe- uh, borrow from your company? GEORGE BLUTH SR Well, what are you talking about? Lucille Austero is a majority shareholder. We're gonna be under scrutiny here. BARRY ZUCKERCORN Well, doesn't George Michael have a company he can em- borrow from? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH You need 15,000 dollars? MICHAEL BLUTH No. No. Not at all. No. Please, son, not from you. I'd never ask you for money. Come on. It's- and it's 50,000 that I'm- that I'm not asking you for. Not 15, okay? Which I could probably lend you. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Don't need it. MICHAEL BLUTH Huh, no? Good. Yeah, good. Good. That's- it's- so your Fakeblock's doing well? RON HOWARD George Michael had been looking for an opportunity to come clean about Fakeblock. MICHAEL BLUTH Been meaning to ask. RON HOWARD but this wasn't it. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah, well, Fakeblock's money is all tied up in, uh, legalities, patenting, marketing- MICHAEL BLUTH Sounds amazing. Good for you. Good for you. Good for him. Yeah, we're just trying to figure out the Buster thing. LUCILLE BLUTH Well, if we can't use the company money to get Buster out, you better figure out a way to do it, Barry. LUCILLE BLUTH Or I'll use my own lawyer. GEORGE BLUTH SR What, uh- what are you talking about another lawyer? I mean- BARRY ZUCKERCORN Wait. BARRY ZUCKERCORN You don't have the courtesy to wait until I'm disbarred? GEORGE BLUTH SR Is this a divorce guy? This hurts. BARRY ZUCKERCORN No, no, no. Just give me a second. I'll be all right. I'm just gonna use your divorce to pay off my peek-a-boo lawyer. LUCILLE BLUTH His name is Dustin Radler and I haven't hired him because technically, he's given up the rat race. GEORGE BLUTH SR Oh, God, they're giving up the rat race guy. This is the same hobo. It's just a question, are you guys doing something? LUCILLE BLUTH GOB BLUTH Don't say it, please. I- I can't- can't hear it. LUCILLE BLUTH He tickles my fancy. GOB BLUTH Your what?Is- what part of mom is the fancy?You do not wanna know what I'm picturing and it's not what you think. LUCILLE BLUTH Oh, stop. We walk on the beach, we like the feel of the sand on our feet. GOB BLUTH Oh, God, the f- your feet. GEORGE BLUTH SR Okay, it's fine. I'm glad you have someone to talk to. Well, I'll go check on Buster. GOB BLUTH Wow. Mom really has him fancy-whipped, huh? BARRY ZUCKERCORN Look you don't wanna bring another lawyer into this. You don't wanna go in fully armed because the DA, she's up for re-election and she's a killer. God, I hate to even say her name. BARRY ZUCKERCORN Lottie Dottie doddily asshole. BARRY ZUCKERCORN When it comes to Buster, a total press blackout. MICHAEL BLUTH Couldn't agree more. We all have to be very very diligent. No media whatsoever. TOBIAS FUNKE Uh, are we talking about reality or, uh, eh- scripted as well because- I've got. MICHAEL BLUTH Tobias, why- why would there be a scripted about the family? TOBIAS FUNKE Well, weren't you working on one with Ron Howard? MICHAEL BLUTH MICHAEL BLUTH So you're saying that's not grandfathered in 'cause it was before the murder. LUCILLE BLUTH Michael, tell me that movie you were producing about us is not still happening. MICHAEL BLUTH I- I do not think that it is. I mean I- I- I gave the releases to Kitty but, uh, the movie industry does not move fast. LUCILLE BLUTH Well, then talk to Kitty and get them back. MICHAEL BLUTH Can't do that. Kitty hates me. GOB BLUTH He gets this. Man, that's priceless. First you eat it with Buster, then you step in it with the movie and now you're eating what you stepped in because Kitty hates you. Guess Michael's the, uh, geo bead today. MICHAEL BLUTH Did you say geo bead? GOB BLUTH Yeah, it's one of dads, you know expressions when somebody who screws up, dad always said- one of his, uh, you'll figure it out someday expressions. MICHAEL BLUTH Okay. GOB BLUTH You know what? You're lucky 'cause Kitty's pretty sweet on me so I'll go up there with you. MICHAEL BLUTH Hm-mm. No. TOBIAS FUNKE Oh, I could go, uh, as well, or just- but- but would that be helpful if I did or am I just being a- a G-O-B? GOB BLUTH Uh, G-O-B spells G.O.B, you geo bead. So why don't you sa- MICHAEL BLUTH Well, today's the day. LUCILLE BLUTH Why are you even still here? Go find your wife. TOBIAS FUNKE I don't know where she is. LUCILLE BLUTH Well, track down the ex-boyfriend and take Tanta with you. TOBIAS FUNKE Yes, of course, Marky Bark. From the cuckolding. I think I might have an idea of where I can- I think. Come on, Murphy Brown. MURPHY BROWN Coming with you. RON HOWARD And as Tobias rushed off with his newfound son, George Michael and his cousin caught up in the back yard. MAEBY FUNKE I can't believe this is like the third "welcome home from prison" party we've thrown for ourselves. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah. MAEBY FUNKE You know what we should do? Why don't we just make out again and teach them a lesson? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Well, I can't because my dad's here and he thinks I'm still dating Rebel. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH And- and how would our making out teach them a lesson? MAEBY FUNKE Tea- teach Rebel a lesson. I meant teach Rebel. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH I- I mean I'm supposed to have a date with her later. MAEBY FUNKE Wait so you are still dating her? What happened to our plan where you show up demanding sex after ghosting her for two months and then she breaks up with you? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Didn't I tell you she was out of town for those two months and it looked like I was waiting for her when she got home and she thinks we're closer than ever now. So now I've agreed to go to this barbeque at her dads house. I can't meet her family. I'm- MICHAEL BLUTH Hey, George Michael. I'm- Oh, hey, Maeby. Hey listen, did that Murphy Brown thing upset you? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH What? Did the actress die? Oh you, 2015. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh. No, no. This is different. They, uh- Tobias' friend, his name is Murphy Brown and it's more than just his acting friend. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH It's his boyfriend. MAEBY FUNKE No it's his son. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH His boyfriend's son. MICHAEL BLUTH MICHAEL BLUTH But listen, you take your time. Don't rush trying to fit in with that crowd. They're probably looking for a "yes man" or some sort of a suck up. You know, that's not your style. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Well, I- I had a great role model. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, bless you. You know I- I also had a. Oh, bless you. MICHAEL BLUTH Listen, if you do end up meeting that family, one good rule to follow is don't bring Tobias. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Be myself. MICHAEL BLUTH You be yourself, George Michael. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH George Maharis. MICHAEL BLUTH Yes. You be George Maharis, George Michael. RON HOWARD Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and their one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. RON HOWARD It's Arrested Development. RON HOWARD Michael Bluth was taking his brother to ensure that Kitty wasn't going to make a movie without Buster MICHAEL BLUTH Eating what you stepped in. Yeah, you made that point. Look, I had to give her Buster the movie. MICHAEL BLUTH Certainly couldn't be me and George Micheal, we were both dating Rebel and she didn't even know that he was my son. It was a disaster. GOB BLUTH Right. Yes. No and then you didn't know who I was dating and you accused me of being the other man. MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah, who were you dating, by the way? GOB BLUTH Julie Bowen. RON HOWARD Actually, it was Tony Wonder. A man Gob had been longing to hear from every since the gay magician poofed into his life and then just as quickly disapoofed. GOB BLUTH Oh. MICHAEL BLUTH Anyway the whole Rebel thing almost ruined my relationship with my son. I actually think it's good that she's lost interest in George Michael. And you wanna know what, I have to tell you- GOB BLUTH That never made sense. MICHAEL BLUTH It never made sense. It never made sense to me because, you know, he doesn't fit in with those people and- and I think that George Michael and I are gonna be closer than we've ever been. He's gonna need a father- still needs a father. And you know the only mother-figure that he's ever had in his life was- GOB BLUTH Well, it was mom. MICHAEL BLUTH Yup. Yeah I guess so. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh! Poor kid. GOB BLUTH I can't imagine. MICHAEL BLUTH Nor can I. GOB BLUTH Wait, we had mom. MICHAEL BLUTH You know, in a way, she was our mom. RON HOWARD George Michael, meanwhile, was seeking motherly advice from a cousin who'd been living as a grandmother. STAN SITWELL Ah-hah! STAN SITWELL I heard we're getting a visit from a grandson. Wanna lick? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, my God, no. STAN SITWELL Good. More for me. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Are you gonna eat more- I can come back. STAN SITWELL No. No. Come on in. I heard you're having relationship trouble. I'll go get your- what do you call her? Gangie? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Maeby. I should call her that, um, yeah, relationship problems. Gangie gets it. STAN SITWELL Yeah. She sure helped me. Imagine finding love at my age. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH It is hard to imagine but, uh, maybe you'll find something else, like a hobby. Or a napkin. STAN SITWELL Mm. STAN SITWELL Anette, your grandson's here. MAEBY FUNKE But I have no makeup on. I'm a mess. Cover your eyes. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Too late! STAN SITWELL I won't look. Though if your grandson wasn't here I'd probably take a peekie weekie. MAEBY FUNKE Well, hey! What a surprise, honey. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH So, you're actually living with this guy now? MAEBY FUNKE Hey! My fake identity is none of your fake identity's business, okay? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Speaking of that, things have only gotten worse. So, not only does my dad think that Fakeblock is real and I've got all this money I won't share with him when he needs to bail out Buster, but he also thinks I should take things slower with Rebel. MAEBY FUNKE Hmm. I don't know but here's my idea about her. What do women really want? Their fathers attention. And Ron Howard is kinda like a button-down guy, right? What if he doesn't like you? What if you show up to the barbecue with like pink hair? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Pink hair? MAEBY FUNKE Yeah. I saw it on someone recently and it made me wanna puke. Trust me. You are gonna be like, "Burn!" GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Really starting to tingle. MAEBY FUNKE Let me know when it starts to burn. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH It's gonna burn? MAEBY FUNKE Did I not make that clear? Look, nobody said getting out of a relationship would be painless. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Well, you're the one who should talk about getting out of a relationship. I think your friend Stan might be interested in you in a way that you don't want him to be interested. MAEBY FUNKE Well, that would explain why he's always offering to do my laundry. Well, whatever gets him to do my laundry, huh? MAEBY FUNKE Yeah, no, I- I'll- I'll suss it up. This lie I'm living might be giving him mixed signals. RON HOWARD At that moment, some mixed signals were also being sent at Pacific Coast highway... MAEBY FUNKE Oh, shit I didn't even put the timer on yet. TOBIAS FUNKE Technically, they had to call me rock monster. TOBIAS FUNKE Of course, it was part of that whole superhero craze. RON HOWARD as Tobias and his newly found son were headed to Mexico, to find his newly lost wife. TOBIAS FUNKE And John Beard actually said I was one of the more popular predators so, whatever gets your name and weight out there. But I wanna hear about your dreams. MURPHY BROWN I don't know. I'm really good at computers. It's fun too 'cause that's like the only time I feel alive. TOBIAS FUNKE No, no. Your dreams, uh, not what you think will make you rich. Your- your passion. MURPHY BROWN Oh, maybe- also maybe being like a doctor for animals or their dogs 'cause sometimes if I look at an animal, there's like a special connection. TOBIAS FUNKE Dreams! Dreams. I didn't ask you what part of dog do you wanna touch. MURPHY BROWN Okay. TOBIAS FUNKE Okay let's try this in reverse. Uh, you're famous. Uh, what's the thing that you do that makes everyone clap? MURPHY BROWN Hmm. Ooh. Once I got claps for doing a juggling ball thing 'cause I unicycled in- in Haiti when I was volunteering- TOBIAS FUNKE Yes! Clowning! Yes! Now you're dreaming. That's your dream. Well perhaps we should juggle your priorities. MURPHY BROWN Oh. TOBIAS FUNKE RON HOWARD And Michael was preparing his brother to persuade Kitty to give back their movie rights... MICHAEL BLUTH GOB BLUTH Okay. Here comes Kitty. Here she comes. RON HOWARD as only Gob could. MICHAEL BLUTH Okay. I believe in you, you can do her. GOB BLUTH What? MICHAEL BLUTH This- you can do this. To her. KITTY SANCHEZ Michael! MICHAEL BLUTH Yup. KITTY SANCHEZ Whatever it is the answer is no, unless you want the answer to be no and then it is yes. MICHAEL BLUTH Well, uh, Gob uh, I want you to, uh, to see who's here. GOB BLUTH KITTY SANCHEZ Gob. KITTY SANCHEZ Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes. GOB BLUTH I was gonna say they look kinda puffy and red. MICHAEL BLUTH Hm. KITTY SANCHEZ MICHAEL BLUTH Oh! You guys clearly need to get a room, huh? KITTY SANCHEZ Right? MICHAEL BLUTH Hey, why don't you guys actually get a room and I can go and say hi to Ron. What do you think? KITTY SANCHEZ He's not in the office today. He had some family event. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, is that today? KITTY SANCHEZ But, since he's not here, how would you like to get inside of a LEM? GOB BLUTH If I could, um, Michael, look, I just- I, um, sorry I can't do this. There's no way I could do that. No, no, no. I can't do this. Truly. I just wanna go home right now. No I can't see MICHAEL BLUTH Yup. MICHAEL BLUTH No, hey, you're gonna be fine, you're gonna be fine, you're gonna be fine. You're built for this. Okay? Forget about whatever you're worried about. She can hear you. KITTY SANCHEZ KITTY SANCHEZ It was in the past. You've already been there before. Come on, Gob. MICHAEL BLUTH Let me get out of your hair. KITTY SANCHEZ You can get in my hair. GOB BLUTH Look, Michael, you can't make me touch her. I'm not gonna touch her hair! KITTY SANCHEZ Come on, Gob. GOB BLUTH RON HOWARD Nearby, George Maharis was ready to alienate his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend's family, with a head full of Tobias pink hair. REBEL ALLEY Hey! There you are. Dad, this is George Maharis. RON HOWARD Oh! Neat to meet you. CHERYL HOWARD Neat to meet you. RON HOWARD Rebel says neat things about you. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH What's up? RON HOWARD Unfortunately Maeby left the dye in too long and it turned out to be... RON HOWARD Look at that! Howard red. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH No, it isn't. It's- GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Imagine if it was pink though. RON HOWARD Yeah, but it's not. It's Howard red. Cheryl look at what this kid did. CHERYL HOWARD It's like our hair! Someone's come a courtin'. RON HOWARD RON HOWARD You're fitting in already. BRYCE HOWARD REBEL ALLEY RON HOWARD PAIGE HOWARD CHERYL HOWARD GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH What's so funny? REBEL ALLEY Oh, it's just my family. RON HOWARD Yeah we Howards don't just laugh when things are funny, we laugh when we're happy. PAIGE HOWARD And when things are uncomfortable, too. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah, like when the bad reviews start rolling in, right? RON HOWARD So, uh, Rebel tells me that you're an entrepreneur of some sort of security software? REBEL ALLEY Oh, dad, it's called Fakeblock and it's amazing. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Shows what you know, the company's gonna go under by next week. We're broke. Guess I'm not exactly daddy's dream boyfriend, am I? RON HOWARD Listen. Don't worry about that company stuff. When I started Imagine. RON HOWARD With Brian Grazer. RON HOWARD the company was up to it's neck in debt, but look at me. RON HOWARD And Brian. RON HOWARD now. And in those early days, I can't tell you how many times I felt like a fraud. But I'll tell you a secret. Everyone feels that way. RON HOWARD George Michael was touched by the advice. RON HOWARD But enough business talk. Tell me, do you like hot dogs? RON HOWARD But he made one last attempt to offend his host. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH No, I don't like hot dogs. RON HOWARD REBEL ALLEY BRYCE HOWARD PAIGE HOWARD RON HOWARD but couldn't. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH I love them. BRYCE HOWARD REBEL ALLEY CHERYL HOWARD RON HOWARD PAIGE HOWARD REBEL ALLEY Oh, my God, your hair! REBEL ALLEY RON HOWARD What a neat group. Meanwhile, Gob was trying to get in the mood with Kitty. GOB BLUTH Hard to believe they used to put monkeys in these things, huh? KITTY SANCHEZ GOB BLUTH My guess? They wouldn't be able to figure out a lot of this stuff. KITTY SANCHEZ Yeah. Yeah, monkey's are kinda dumb. GOB BLUTH Yeah, I'd like to see one try to get out of here quickly and in an emergency. KITTY SANCHEZ Maybe I'll- "I have to get out of here!" GOB BLUTH Oh. "Let me out of here!" Oh. Too good. Too good. Too good. KITTY SANCHEZ KITTY SANCHEZ So Surely you didn't wanna be alone with me to talk about monkeys in space. GOB BLUTH No. I did not want to be alone with you at all. KITTY SANCHEZ KITTY SANCHEZ Remind me not to forget my gum. GOB BLUTH One second. Probably my brother. "Did you trick her into it yet?" KITTY SANCHEZ Trick her into what? GOB BLUTH Giving us our rights back, you geo- Oh it's Tony. I'm sorry. I gotta take this. Can I get some privacy please? KITTY SANCHEZ Oh, well, we're sealed in here. GOB BLUTH No, I gotta get out of here. No, get me outta here. It'll go to voicemail. Look, I gotta pull the hatch. KITTY SANCHEZ Don't touch that. No that's- That's not- No, no, no- Stop! That's the chute. GOB BLUTH Gotta answer. GOB BLUTH Amazing Jesus. TONY WONDER Hey, it's Tony. GOB BLUTH Oh. If I'd known it was you, I wouldn't have picked up. TONY WONDER KITTY SANCHEZ I think that we're stuck in here. GOB BLUTH TONY WONDER Where are you? GOB BLUTH Oh, um, I'm in a LEM. Where are you? TONY WONDER I'm in a Tumi, suitcase. I think I'm in baggage claim at Long Beach Airport. My assistant's picking me up, unless she takes another grey Tumi by mistake. Then I go to unclaimed. That's how we lost The Amazing Fredrick. GOB BLUTH I- I would've claimed you. TONY WONDER I'll bet. GOB BLUTH TONY WONDER TONY WONDER Anyway, since I'm just getting back in town, I thought I owed you a call. So, let's get together. GOB BLUTH I mean I- I can't right now 'cause I've got this thing. I'm stuck in a LEM with- TONY WONDER Yeah, you know, that's the other thing. I- I- I don't think we can actually hang out anyway. I mean, I'm the flamboyant gay magician, you're like the super straight Christian magician. We'd taint each other's brand. GOB BLUTH Yeah. I guess we're different in the same way. TONY WONDER Same in a different way. TONY WONDER Same in a diff- different way same. GOB BLUTH Different in a same different way. TONY WONDER Different same- Same- Different- Wame- GOB BLUTH Different. different in the same way. Eh- GOB BLUTH Wow. Guess that's over. TONY WONDER Yup. Talk about a sign. RON HOWARD And that's when they both realized that there was a time when they could speak in unison but I guess that it's over now. GOB BLUTH There was a time when we could speak in unison but I guess that's over now. TONY WONDER There was a time when we could speak in unison but I guess that's over now. TONY WONDER Hey listen, I gotta run. Better shut up and listen to the word wonder. GOB BLUTH What wait- I mean is- So is this good b- GOB BLUTH How much of that did you hear? RON HOWARD And George Senior visited his prison alma mater for the first time since his son had been incarcerated. BUSTER BLUTH This is where those guys tried to trick me into eating a battery last year. BUSTER BLUTH Oh, and this is where I ate a battery during my first week of recess. GEORGE BLUTH SR No, no. Yard. Don't- Don't call it recess. BUSTER BLUTH Oh, it's a little too late for that now, dad. I've been trying to figure out this prison thing on my own. GEORGE BLUTH SR I know. I'm sorry- SECURITY GUARD George Bluth! Oh, my God. I've never seen you in street clothes. GEORGE BLUTH SR GEORGE BLUTH SR Doc? I almost didn't recognize you without the flashlight in your mouth. GEORGE BLUTH SR SECURITY GUARD BUSTER BLUTH GEORGE BLUTH SR Sorry to be rude, this is my son, Buster. BUSTER BLUTH Mm-hmm. Charmed, I'm sure. GEORGE BLUTH SR No touching. SECURITY GUARD No touching. BUSTER BLUTH Hmm. GEORGE BLUTH SR Good to see ya. RON HOWARD And perhaps that was why George Senior decided he owed it to his son to share some of his own caged wisdom. GEORGE BLUTH SR Buster listen, you really have to toughen up now. You're in lockup, all right? They'll circle like jackals. You gotta be strong. Especially with the skinheads. GEORGE BLUTH SR Skinhead gets in your face, you charge right back at him and pop him fast. That's the only way you can get respect. BUSTER BLUTH BUSTER BLUTH You know that one there's been giving me some looks. GEORGE BLUTH SR No, no, no. That's not a skinhead. That's a guard. You charge a guard and they'll kill you. BUSTER BLUTH Oh, yeah, that I should know. GEORGE BLUTH SR But with the skinheads, that's how you get respect. I got more respect then, with these animals, then I get with your- with your mother now. I can't- I can't satisfy her. BUSTER BLUTH BUSTER BLUTH Really? It's so easy. GEORGE BLUTH SR No I mean we're no longer together. Your mother kicked me out. BUSTER BLUTH Oh, there's an opening. GEORGE BLUTH SR No, no, no. She doesn't want anything to do with either one of us. She has found someone new. She's found a younger man. Yeah. BUSTER BLUTH Oh. Well, sort of a son with benefits. BUSTER BLUTH They said that I'd lose my old lady. And I said, "Not mother! She'll wait for me." Oh! The thought of her singing to him goodnight. GEORGE BLUTH SR Okay. BUSTER BLUTH GEORGE BLUTH SR GEORGE BLUTH SR I can't take it. I can't take it. BUSTER BLUTH Oh. I know. I know. GEORGE BLUTH SR No touching. RON HOWARD And perhaps that's when George Senior decided to have someone else put him out of his misery. GEORGE BLUTH SR I know what I have to do. BUSTER BLUTH Yeah, what are you gonna do? GEORGE BLUTH SR I know what I'm gonna do. BUSTER BLUTH What are you gonna do? GEORGE BLUTH SR I know what I have to do. BUSTER BLUTH GEORGE BLUTH SR I'm sorry. GEORGE BLUTH SR GEORGE BLUTH SR SECURITY GUARD 1 Jesus Christ, George. I was so mad when I thought you didn't recognize me. GEORGE BLUTH SR God, this place has changed. BUSTER BLUTH So nice. RON HOWARD George Michael was also finding a reunion more pleasant than he expected. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Your dad is so nice. REBEL ALLEY It's been his job since he was two. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Huh. REBEL ALLEY Yeah, you know sometimes you just wanna look in your parents perfect, sweet, kind faces and just tell them off. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Punch them. REBEL ALLEY Why would you say that? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH No. no. I- that's- I mean, I don't feel that way but certain kids do. There's a whole website about it. Although, everyone knows it's totally biased and favors the dads. REBEL ALLEY You know, your company should shut that website down. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Well. RON HOWARD And George Michael finding himself smitten with Rebel and her family, decided to come clean. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH to be totally honest, I don't know if there's gonna be a company. RON HOWARD Until she said this. REBEL ALLEY Is it a money thing? 'Cause if you need the money I can loan it to you. You know everybody needs a bail out now and then. REBEL ALLEY It'll give me a stake in the company. RON HOWARD And the prospect of helping his own family. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Well, speaking of family, I mean I- I actually could use a little. RON HOWARD proved too great a temptation. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH bailout money, as you put it. Are you sure? REBEL ALLEY Yes! GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, my God, you are so great. Why don't we talk about it tomorrow? REBEL ALLEY Ah, I can't do it tomorrow. I've got reshoots. All the Mexico stuff. And just so you know, my ex-boyfriend will be there but if I know you're gonna be here when I get back. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Then when you're back. REBEL ALLEY Yes!Wait- wait what colors your hair gonna be? 'Cause it- it's kind of like kissing your cousin. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Great. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Ew, okay- okay, gross. Okay got it. REBEL ALLEY Woah. REBEL ALLEY RON HOWARD Meanwhile, Maeby was concerned that Stan's strange behavior was romantic so she tried to discourage it. MAEBY FUNKE Listen to me go on and on about how I've ruined so many relationships. MAEBY FUNKE Maybe I'm trying to prove something to my clueless dad. MAEBY FUNKE Anyway, I guess that's why I can't make a relationship work. MAEBY FUNKE Does that upset you? STAN SITWELL Well, Anette, it does, if you must know the truth. 'Cause your dad was a damn fool. I see the real you. STAN SITWELL A special, wonderful, unique, 67-year-old woman who amazes me every day. RON HOWARD And that's when Maeby realized what it was about Stan's behavior that was so confusing. STAN SITWELL It'd be my great pleasure to be the man in your life that your father never was. RON HOWARD It was paternal. RON HOWARD And touched, all she could think of to say was. MAEBY FUNKE Marry me. STAN SITWELL RON HOWARD And Maeby's actual father and his newfound son, Murphy Brown, arrived at the last place he'd seen Lindsay. Father B's now abandoned property. TOBIAS FUNKE Of course, we should probably eat these two sandwiches before they go to waste. MURPHY BROWN I used to kind of like to dream about going on a camping trip with my dad. TOBIAS FUNKE Whoa! TOBIAS FUNKE Keep an eye out for Lindsay. That is why we're here. MURPHY BROWN Wait, is that her? That Lindsay right there? TOBIAS FUNKE Oh, yes. Lindsay! MURPHY BROWN It's us! It's us! Hi! TOBIAS FUNKE Oh! No, that's a sickly cactus with a plastic bag on it. MURPHY BROWN Oh, right. For a second there I was like, "Is that Lindsay?" TOBIAS FUNKE Hmm. TOBIAS FUNKE I suppose it's true. The desert makes one see what one wants to see. MURPHY BROWN Hmm. Yeah. TOBIAS FUNKE Is that two barrel-chested strapping men on horseback approaching us? DISGRUNTLED RIDER 2 You are not welcome on this land. TOBIAS FUNKE Oh, uh, there must be some mistake. DISGRUNTLED RIDER 2 No, there is no mistake. DISGRUNTLED RIDER 1 I regret to inform you that you are trespassing. TOBIAS FUNKE No, this land belongs to George Bluth. DISGRUNTLED RIDER 1 Oh, I see. And are you George Bluth? TOBIAS FUNKE RON HOWARD As it turns out, it was a part that Tobias had played before. TOBIAS FUNKE You are about to witness why a career in entertainment can come in handy. TOBIAS FUNKE TOBIAS FUNKE Yeah! That's right! And, uh, I'm the last guy you wanna kick off of your la- his land- my land. MURPHY BROWN Our land! TOBIAS FUNKE No. DISGRUNTLED RIDER 2 Oh, I did not realize you were Mr. George Bluth himself. DISGRUNTLED RIDER 1 Well, Mr. George Bluth, we have some papers for you to sign. TOBIAS FUNKE Oh. Is that right? Well, how about I just- use my son Micheal as a signing service. TOBIAS FUNKE Get up. MURPHY BROWN Okay. RON HOWARD Tobias wasn't the only one trespassing on someone else's property, as Michael had decided to do what he was certain Gob couldn't: take matters into his own hands. RON HOWARD And in those early days, I can't tell you how many times I've felt like a fraud. But I'll tell you a secret, everyone- MICHAEL BLUTH Hey, Ron! Michael, from the untitled Bluth project. And I dated Rebel. RON HOWARD Oh! Oh! Yeah. Yeah. Prayer hands. MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah. Listen, a lot of stuff has- has changed with the family. RON HOWARD Yeah. I heard about that. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, ha- ha- has- has it gotten out already? RON HOWARD Well, not to the general public but at Imagine, we hear everything. GOB BLUTH So, listen, I mean, you know I'm as straight as they come, I just got a lot on my mind right now with work slash am I gay slash my brother Buster's in jail. KITTY SANCHEZ He is? What for? GOB BLUTH Well, just for- for maybe killing this woman my family owes money to. I actually think it was his robot hand. Anyway, it's all very high shut. KITTY SANCHEZ Can you get me Ron? MICHAEL BLUTH Okay, so then you might understand why we don't want a movie about it out there. RON HOWARD Well, absolutely, you'd have to cut too much. This has true crime limited series written all over it. That way my Rebel could be in it too. She's no Bryce, but she's like a robot. Gives the exact same performance every take. Real time saver. So yes, let's do this. MICHAEL BLUTH Here's the thing, Ron. Right now my family is just not looking for publicity. RON HOWARD Well, the other way to look at it, is if I heard about it, it's out there. RON HOWARD Best way to manage press is to get out in front of it. REED HOWARD Hey, dad, we need you for the three-legged race. And also can you start the music? RON HOWARD I don't know how to, Reed. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh. I must've heard that- I must've heard that, right? Sure. That, uh- so you get- do you get the scripts read to you then or something? RON HOWARD I- Th- this is my son, Reed. REED HOWARD My- my dad knows how to read. MICHAEL BLUTH Yes. REED HOWARD N- nice to meet you . MICHAEL BLUTH Good boy. I see why you named him Reed. He seems smart. MICHAEL BLUTH RON HOWARD Hey, thanks for sneaking in. MICHAEL BLUTH Yup. RON HOWARD And as he rushed to get out before running into Rebel, Michael ran into yet another famous Howard. MICHAEL BLUTH Hey! REED HOWARD Bryce come on, we're doing the three-legged race. MICHAEL BLUTH Hi. BRYCE HOWARD Hi. Avoiding the three-legged race, I see. REED HOWARD Bryce! MICHAEL BLUTH Oh... BRYCE HOWARD I- I'm sorry but I just can't, Reed. MICHAEL BLUTH Ah, yeah, talking to your brother Reed, huh? I get it. Michael Bluth. Pleasure. BRYCE HOWARD Hi! Bryce. MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah, no I know. BRYCE HOWARD Oh, yes. Yes, you dated my sister, didn't you? MICHAEL BLUTH Well, even that overstates it, uh, yeah we weren't really together that long before we broke up, you know, very clean break. Very clean. BRYCE HOWARD Oh. MICHAEL BLUTH In fact, I was gonna say hi but I ain't not going somewhere but I'm going somewhere. Never mind. BRYCE HOWARD Listen, you dodged a bullet. She's a user. She's got a new guy and she's using him. MICHAEL BLUTH Hmm. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh yeah? But I- I heard that's ending. BRYCE HOWARD No. Are you kidding? He's trapped in- in her web. She's only with him because of his internet company. You know that right? MICHAEL BLUTH Hmm. MICHAEL BLUTH You think so? You think- you think that she's really just using him? BRYCE HOWARD Yeah and I'm pretty sure it's not for his body. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, well, I- yeah I mean, I don't know the guy but I saw a picture. I think he's got a great build and uh, um, he's wiry. You wouldn't want him to be any taller. I like the young mans body. Okay? I do. BRYCE HOWARD Yeah, that's- that's very weird of you. Still, he's such a kiss up. He's even dyed his hair Dallas Howard red. I mean I get it, it's a hot new dye but you're not supposed to leave it in that long. Look at him. MICHAEL BLUTH He looks like a jack-o'-lantern. BRYCE HOWARD He's a piece of work. MICHAEL BLUTH Sure. Hey, can I exit through the house? I don't want the user to create a dramatic scene. BRYCE HOWARD No, no, no, don't worry about that. I have seen her get laughs doing The Glass Menagerie. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, I don't get it. RON HOWARD Michael was hoping to avoid an awkward run-in with his son at the valet, when he came across a way to find out when the coast was clear. MICHAEL BLUTH Hi. RANCE HOWARD Can I help you? MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, yeah, that's a pretty sweet set-up there. I just wanted to take a peek. Do you mind? I wanna check out my son real quick. RANCE HOWARD Well, that I understand. Uh, my name is Rance Howard, Ron's dad. MICHAEL BLUTH Hm. MICHAEL BLUTH Thought you worked here. Hi. RANCE HOWARD Oh, I like to stay busy and gotta keep an eye on my son too. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, yeah, you still have to do that? RANCE HOWARD That's a father's job. Doesn't start at nine and end at five. It's 24 hours a day, seven days a week. MICHAEL BLUTH Even as they get older, huh? RANCE HOWARD That gets even harder, 'cause they think they know it all but you still have to be there for them when they make mistakes. Or sometimes they need to cry a little bit because sometimes a person needs to cry a little bit. RANCE HOWARD Unless that person is a dad. RANCE HOWARD For a father must bear his load lightly, and yet, beneath the mask, a watchful eye never wanders. For it is through this glance that a wisdom beyond words must be passed. MICHAEL BLUTH That is a very interesting take because I think a girl might be using my son but I don't exactly have a way to keep an eye on her. RON HOWARD Oh! I see you met my dad. He doesn't say much. But we're sure glad he's around. Although hopefully, he didn't share his thoughts about climate change, did he? RANCE HOWARD Hoax! MICHAEL BLUTH He was great company. RON HOWARD And that's when Michael found a way to keep an eye on the woman who might be using his son. MICHAEL BLUTH You know what else is a good company? Imagine Entertainment. Ron I- I do think that I wanna go forward with that docu-series after all. RON HOWARD That's great news! Hey Josline, would you mind bringing down the standard TV contracts please? JOSLINE Streaming contracts, cable or broadcast? RON HOWARD We got a streamer here. Jossy will have those down in just a minute. And if we're quick, we can get an interview with your brother while he's still in jail. JOSLINE No residuals, got it. RON HOWARD You know, you can't beat those visuals. Put a little atmosphere in there, you filter it, nice low angle shot for the close-up. RON HOWARD Oh- a wide shot. Tell it in one image. RON HOWARD Wide shot. RON HOWARD And Michael returned to the model home. LUCILLE BLUTH How'd it go with Gob and Kitty? RON HOWARD where his mother had been lying in wait. MICHAEL BLUTH Uh. LUCILLE BLUTH Please tell me he got her to kill the movie. MICHAEL BLUTH Um. Oo- ye- well, I- you know I think he probably forgot to ask but that's okay because I spoke to Ron directly. He was very happy to see me. Felt good. LUCILLE BLUTH That's just Hollywood BS. MICHAEL BLUTH Well, I think it's gonna help us. LUCILLE BLUTH You think what is gonna help us? MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, God, I- I'm burying the lead. The Bluth project is dead because it's gonna be a streaming series. LUCILLE BLUTH You said no leaks and now we're streaming all over everyone? MICHAEL BLUTH I'm not telling it well. Point is, Ron's gonna do an introductory interview, okay, with Buster, as research about the family's history and what they'll- LUCILLE BLUTH No Michael they cannot go into our family's past. They certainly can't do a TV show about it. MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah. MICHAEL BLUTH Well, it's never gonna get that far. What it's gonna do is, it's gonna send a signal to the DA, that if they continue to hold Buster, they're just looking for trouble. I mean, think about it, if the nicest man in the world goes in there with his camera and his crew and he tells Buster that he believes in his innocence. I mean they gotta drop the charges quicker than you can blink your, uh. MICHAEL BLUTH Initiate, at least, the blinking of the eyes. You know, the opening of the eyes has a bit of a guesstimate lately. LUCILLE BLUTH And what if Buster chokes? MICHAEL BLUTH I guess that's what Ron's for. RON HOWARD That would prove to be a very. No you'll see on the next on the next. RON HOWARD On the next Arrested Development. RON HOWARD On the next shot, I know we said close-ups. No. Wide. RON HOWARD RON HOWARD Ron Howard arranges a jail house interview with Buster. RON HOWARD Here we go. Showtime. RON HOWARD And Buster remembers George Senior's advice. BUSTER BLUTH Skinhead. BUSTER BLUTH I'm gonna kill you, you skinhead! SECURITY GUARD 2 Hey, back down. RON HOWARD BUSTER BLUTH Skinhead. BUSTER BLUTH See what I did to skinhead? RON HOWARD BUSTER BLUTH Make a note. RON HOWARD Forget the wide shots. RON HOWARD Fifty-fifty? And matching overs. RON HOWARD And Maeby enjoys her new paternal relationship. MAEBY FUNKE Look how happy they look together. STAN SITWELL Just like us. RON HOWARD until this happens. MAEBY FUNKE Okay, so I did have it right the first time. MAEBY FUNKE