BUSTER_BLUTH FERNANDO GEORGE_BLUTH_SR GEORGE_MICHAEL_BLUTH GOB_BLUTH HELPFUL_GUIDE INTENSE_REGRESSION_ANNOUNCER JODIE LIEUTENANT_TODDLER LINDSAY_BLUTH_FUNKE LUCILLE_BLUTH MAEBY_FUNKE MAN_4 MICHAEL_BLUTH MOCKING_PRISONER_2 MURPHY NEWSCASTER_1 NEWSCASTER_2 REBEL_ONSCREEN REBEL_ALLEY RICK RON_HOWARD SAD_ANGRY_PRISONER_1 SALLY_SITWELL TOBIAS_FUNKE TONY RON HOWARD Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. RON HOWARD It's Arrested Development. TOBIAS FUNKE Just a little harmless bath-housing amongst brothers, yes? RON HOWARD Michael Bluth had just reunited with his family. TOBIAS FUNKE Although now that the original Michael's back, I suppose we don't need two hands-on-our-hips, pipe-up-our-rectum scolds. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE So, you can go! TOBIAS FUNKE back to playing Tobias. Yes, exactly. Because I am still a valued family member. TOBIAS FUNKE At least until both signatures are on the divorce papers, which were so cruelly served to me from the backseat of my car by someone who thought I was a Lyft driver. MICHAEL BLUTH Could have been the pink moustache. TOBIAS FUNKE Oh, how funny. Lucille thought it looked pink, too. GOB BLUTH That's cause everybody's thinking about Tony Wonder's beard. 'Cause it was pink, right? TOBIAS FUNKE Well, I just dyed it what I assumed was the color of Michael's skin. TOBIAS FUNKE Although now that you're back, I do wish I had used a less permanent dye. GOB BLUTH I only remember the thing about Tony because of the "W," and his beard was a "W," which I thought, you know, for Wonder, was funny. GOB BLUTH You know, it tickled me. His beard tickled me. MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah. GOB BLUTH And is- and is that part of what you look so confused about? MICHAEL BLUTH Well, it is sure on the list. I-I want to I want to go back to why you're all in here, though. GEORGE BLUTH SR Oh, we're-we're shooting footage for Lindsay. LUCILLE BLUTH Campaign footage. MICHAEL BLUTH You're running for office now? GEORGE BLUTH SR LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE As a matter of fact, I am. I want to be part of the problem, Michael. RON HOWARD Although weeks earlier, Lindsay wasn't eager to rejoin the family herself. MICHAEL BLUTH Huh. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE So, how's Mom? Is she mad at me? GEORGE BLUTH SR Mad at you? Why would she be mad at you? LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE You didn't hear? LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE There may be some compromising pictures of me with the candidate Herbert Love. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE If she ever saw those, she'd never let me hear the end of it. GEORGE BLUTH SR Oh Listen, you're intelligent, and you're wonderful and ethical, and, oh, you're great. Don't worry. She's- she's jealous. RON HOWARD Lindsay had never heard her father talk this way. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE Jealous of me? GEORGE BLUTH SR Mmm. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE It's probably just because I'm younger. Puta. GEORGE BLUTH SR You know, yes, she did mention that. Maybe it's time to just uh, change your ways. Start fresh. RON HOWARD And perhaps Lindsay, too, would have gotten a little healthier. RON HOWARD had the cell reception been a little worse. LUCILLE BLUTH It's Mom. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE Mom. Hi. LUCILLE BLUTH I need you to run for office. I told Herbert Love's campaign that you'd be taking over. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE What? No. Mom, I can't do that. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE It would mean going up against Lucille 2, and Sally Sitwell is running her campaign. LUCILLE BLUTH Lucille 2 is not going to be a problem. LUCILLE BLUTH And Sally hasn't been seen since Cinco. RON HOWARD It was true. Sally had stolen a lot of money. SALLY SITWELL You have to be careful. If Gob finds out you're straight, he'll use it to ruin you. SALLY SITWELL I'll lose the 100 grand I stole from Lucille Austero to rebrand you as the gay magician. RON HOWARD But when Sally found out Lucille Austero's political opponent had been knocked out, she chose to get out of town before people started asking questions. RON HOWARD She packed light. SALLY SITWELL Excuse me. I'm wondering if someone could help me. TONY Did somebody say "wonder"? RON HOWARD Just Tony. SALLY SITWELL No one's wondering. LUCILLE BLUTH So, you're unopposed. LUCILLE BLUTH And I need you. RON HOWARD It was the first time Lindsay's mother had ever told her she needed her. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE You said it. LUCILLE BLUTH I said it. RON HOWARD Well, she read it. RON HOWARD George Sr. and Gob had also been in Mexico, and were growing tired of their fruitless peacocking. GEORGE BLUTH SR I hate everything about my life. Including you. GOB BLUTH Well that's not the horniest thing I've ever heard. GEORGE BLUTH SR Daddy not horny. GOB BLUTH Yeah, I guess these, uh, shirts kind of pumped up the pressure on that. GEORGE BLUTH SR I don't know what's wrong with me. GEORGE BLUTH SR I feel like one of these bulls on my breasts. GEORGE BLUTH SR His whole life he's-he's bred to be the strongest and the toughest, and he's got to have the biggest balls. Why? GEORGE BLUTH SR So, when you're in your prime, they can drug you and throw you out in front of a crowd of people who all just want to see you die. GEORGE BLUTH SR So some guy in crushed velvet pants can come out and-and just stick a sword in you. GEORGE BLUTH SR You're a bull who wants to stick it in everybody, and everybody ends up sticking it in you. RON HOWARD And Gob started opening up, too. GOB BLUTH I tried to buy those velvet pants. GOB BLUTH But I chickened out and got these shirts instead. GOB BLUTH I have a friend, this guy Tony. Not a friend. GOB BLUTH He's nice. GOB BLUTH He had a face like mine. GOB BLUTH But same. GOB BLUTH In darkness. GOB BLUTH Sorry, I'm taken. GOB BLUTH What's that from? RON HOWARD But Gob's emotional transformation would also be interrupted. LUCILLE BLUTH It's your mother. We're going back to work. LUCILLE BLUTH You're going to be the new face of the company. GOB BLUTH Oh. GOB BLUTH That was Mom. She wants me back. GEORGE BLUTH SR My God. Must be nice to be wanted. Even if it's just your mom. GOB BLUTH Oh, cry me a blizzard, snowflake. I got to run. You got this, right? Look who's horny now. RON HOWARD And Gob wasn't the only family member on the verge of growing while in Mexico. HELPFUL GUIDE It is wonderful that you are doing this. As you can see, the reward is simply in the giving. Most people, they cannot resist taking advantage of the truly vulnerable. RON HOWARD When she, too, received a call. MAEBY FUNKE Oh. Mom? LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE No, it's Lindsay. I-I Mom. Yes. To you. Of course I'm Mom. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE I'm running for Congress. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE I don't have a campaign manager, and I need you. RON HOWARD And Maeby had never heard her this truly vulnerable. MAEBY FUNKE Yeah. Sounds great. I'm in. MAEBY FUNKE Hey. It is hard to resist. MAEBY FUNKE Taking advantage of the vulnerable. MAEBY FUNKE And I'm her campaign manager. MICHAEL BLUTH Is that Maeby? Oh, my gosh. I didn't even recognize you. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE It's a teenager thing. I could never pull that off. They want to look old, and we want to look young. LUCILLE BLUTH You don't look very young. GEORGE BLUTH SR Oh, the laughter. That's-that's why we're gonna get the award. GOB BLUTH JODIE LUCILLE BLUTH No one's taking it away from us. GEORGE BLUTH SR Let 'em try. MICHAEL BLUTH The award? LUCILLE BLUTH Oh, look at him, like he doesn't know. GEORGE BLUTH SR We're going to win Family of the Year. GOB BLUTH Family of the Month. Year? Are you for Mother Family of the Mother Year! JODIE Of the year. LUCILLE BLUTH We just found out! LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE Can you believe it? We're getting the Golden Anchor Award. MICHAEL BLUTH Wow. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE I guess they think our family's been an anchor of the O.C. community. MICHAEL BLUTH Huh. Who is giving you this award? GOB BLUTH Check it, Mike. My anchor's giving us the award. See, she used to be an Orange County weather girl, which is basically just tits, teeth, and ass, right? GOB BLUTH Now she's the host of OC Can You Say, which is tits, teeth, public affairs, ass, some light interviews. GOB BLUTH I mean, it's so much more responsibility. JODIE He's making it sound more important than it really is. MICHAEL BLUTH Is he? LUCILLE BLUTH Well, she was married to that news anchor who said such horrible things about me when I was trying to save Buster with that boat: John Beard. GOB BLUTH Well, she's my Beard now. MICHAEL BLUTH What I meant was what organization is giving you the award? LUCILLE BLUTH Well, technically it's from the Bluth Austero Company. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, I see. So you're giving it to yourself. LUCILLE BLUTH Well, it's mostly from the Austero side. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE Perfect timing for my campaign. GEORGE BLUTH SR Our little girl, Lindsay. LUCILLE BLUTH I've never been less ashamed of her. Did I say what I think I said? GEORGE BLUTH SR Yes, you did. GOB BLUTH That is priceless. Look who's joining in. JODIE MICHAEL BLUTH Where is Lucille Austero? LUCILLE BLUTH No one knows. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh. GEORGE BLUTH SR She flew the coop. Right in the middle of running for Congress. I mean, no one remembers seeing her since Cinco de Cuatro. LUCILLE BLUTH And we didn't want the crew in our house. GEORGE BLUTH SR No, and it-it-it-it was okay with Lucille 2. She gave us the key. LUCILLE BLUTH It was during the 1992 African-American riots, and they had every right. GEORGE BLUTH SR They had every right. RON HOWARD Mhm. Every right. MICHAEL BLUTH I-I find all of this. It's just very hard to believe. GOB BLUTH I'll tell you what else is hard beyond belief. My God, I wish you could get a feel on these two things that Jodie's got going over here. They're like two geodes. MICHAEL BLUTH Hmm. JODIE You can feel 'em. I can't. MICHAEL BLUTH Mm. JODIE My go-to joke is that these are the best two things John Beard's money can buy. GOB BLUTH That's a go-to. GEORGE BLUTH SR Now you're back. You'll bring George Michael. We'll show the world what a great family we are. GEORGE BLUTH SR Oh, that's good. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE Family is so important to me. Sometimes my own family. RON HOWARD Actually, Michael hadn't spoken to his son in months and didn't even know he had been in Mexico. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH What's up, Fernando? Can we get four pretzels, two Cokes, and two Mexican Cokes? FERNANDO My friend, you're in Mexico. We have Coke and American Coke. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH I didn't wish to offend. FERNANDO I'm sorry. I'm probably grumpy because I was out late last night raping and murdering. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Not cool. I wouldn't joke about that. FERNANDO I rape I murder and I joke. RON HOWARD And feeling unwelcome in this land that was still pretty welcoming. RON HOWARD George Michael returned home but wasn't quite ready to deal with real life. RON HOWARD And so, seeing his father had left town and perhaps not ready to return to the responsibilities he'd left behind, he decided to ease back in, returning to his childhood home. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Hello? Here to clean the windows. RON HOWARD And upon finding it empty, he soon began what can only be described as. INTENSE REGRESSION ANNOUNCER Total regression! GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Dangerous Cousins! GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, my God, Quicken. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH God, it's so much smaller than I remember. RON HOWARD Perhaps it was a yearning to go back to a simpler, less complicated time. RON HOWARD But there was no denying, he was older and more mature. RON HOWARD Not to mention, looking for love. RON HOWARD But aside from a few setbacks, George Michael was enjoying a break from responsibility. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Okay, so, for scenario number two, you just found out that your Darth Vader figure is dating your girlfriend, and then you find out that he knew she was your. Whatever. Who gives a shit? You know, as usual, guys, just, like, apply your own scenario. RON HOWARD Soon he, too, was teaching a course in a program of his own creation. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Start with the right hand. Then you go left. RON HOWARD He even inspired a certain move that would eventually appear two years later in a Han Solo origin picture. RON HOWARD But the desire to return to a simpler time might explain why his heart raced when Maeby texted him a message. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Yes! GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Shit. RON HOWARD George Michael gave more thought to a response than perhaps was necessary. RON HOWARD And wasn't quite proud of his final selection. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH There. That way. She can figure it out. RON HOWARD And he headed off to the penthouse, lost in an adolescent fantasy. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Hi. Don't like it. RON HOWARD That he was soon shaken out of. MAEBY FUNKE What, my hair? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH No, no, I like it. I just, uh, don't like that I'm-I'm just seeing it now. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH I guess I was picturing you at 16. But I-I don't know why I do that. But w-why did you do that? MAEBY FUNKE Well, truthfully. No, I'll just tell you the truth. It's a wig. MAEBY FUNKE Now that I'm working for my mom's campaign, I thought that a gray-haired daughter would add some years to her. MAEBY FUNKE But, turns out, no. She thinks it's a cool new thing and it makes her look hip. MAEBY FUNKE I mean, everything I've given her, to do or say, has only made her go up in the polls. MAEBY FUNKE It's like the more offensive it is, the more people get behind her. RON HOWARD It was true. MAEBY FUNKE For you. Remember, just stick to the words. RON HOWARD She had her mother mock a reporter who had a speech problem. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE First, this so-called reporter from the Wee Guardian says I was right. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE Now, suddenly, she's "Perhaps I've recalled incorrectly. I'm positively knackered." NEWSCASTER 1 The candidate made no fans in Wee Britain, but on the other side of the Anaheim pond, the comment only made her more popular. NEWSCASTER 2 That's right, and this comes but one week after the damning hot mic piece surfaced. MAEBY FUNKE You're literally interviewed by that gentleman over there. Do you find him attractive? RON HOWARD And release a hot mic tape. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE I wouldn't mind grabbing him by the dick. RON HOWARD Although, remember, this was in 2015. MAEBY FUNKE Did you get that? RON HOWARD Many of the offensive comments almost seemed quaint by today's standards. NEWSCASTER 2 Top story the video seems to have only given her a big rise in the polls. It certainly had that effect on me. MAN 4 You dirty sod. NEWSCASTER 2 Oh, God's sake. MAEBY FUNKE I mean, she just keeps polling higher. What am I doing right? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Well, it probably doesn't help that except for you, she's running unopposed. MAEBY FUNKE Yeah. That's why I came up with the idea for us to kiss. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH So the kissing is part of a plan? MAEBY FUNKE Yeah. I thought we could do it when the whole family's on camera getting the Family of the Year Award. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Family of the Year Award? Who'd give us that? MAEBY FUNKE We're giving it to ourselves. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Right. Still doesn't seem like we'd get the votes. MAEBY FUNKE So, when my mom's giving the speech, we'll be in the background, and we're just going at it. MAEBY FUNKE And I'm like, "Why have I never thought of that one before?" GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Kind of feels like you have. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH To me, it seems like what you really want is for your mother to see you for who you are. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Why don't you write a speech for her to say about you, about how lovely and smart you are. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH How you've blossomed as a young woman into this incredibly beautiful and special person that anyone would be lucky to get to share their life with. MAEBY FUNKE I think I see where you're going with this. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Incredibly attractive, incredibly rare and precious gem. MAEBY FUNKE And then I open my mouth, and I have these rotted out meth teeth. MAEBY FUNKE And I'm like, "Then why do I got to my cousin for some meth money, Mom?" You know, or something like that. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH I feel like we're circling it. MAEBY FUNKE Yeah. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH I don't know, m-maybe that's just a shade unnecessarily cruel. MAEBY FUNKE Well, at least I didn't punch her in the face. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Ah, I still feel so weird. I-I haven't even seen my dad since that day. MAEBY FUNKE Yeah, he seems fine. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, you've seen him? MAEBY FUNKE Yeah. He's across the hall. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Wait, who is? MAEBY FUNKE Everyone. Your dad, my mom, the whole family. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH My dad's across the hall? MAEBY FUNKE Yeah, they're getting ready for that trophy thing. GEORGE BLUTH SR Can't wait to see that trophy, huh? GOB BLUTH Everyone gets a trophy, huh, Pop? GEORGE BLUTH SR Well. GOB BLUTH When I was a kid, you said, "You want a trophy? Try harder Gob." GEORGE BLUTH SR Huh, well, maybe I did something right, huh? GOB BLUTH But I was like, "But you gave one to everybody else! What happened to everybody gets a trophy?" GOB BLUTH 'Cause there a little bit of that back then. It was just getting started, but. GOB BLUTH Meanwhile, the guy who could've tried harder is now giving it to the not super young, obviously, but still fairly well-known local TV host whose breasts, and you're gonna be surprised to hear this coming from me, may be a little bit too hard. GOB BLUTH High class problem, huh, Mike? MICHAEL BLUTH Hmm. No. GOB BLUTH God, I really wish you could get a feel on these next time, though, Mike. There is something-something that's not right with those. MICHAEL BLUTH Right. Yeah, well, I'm in town such a short time, so. Next time. GOB BLUTH Wha. GOB BLUTH One less trophy, huh, Mom? LUCILLE BLUTH There's one trophy, The Golden Anchor, and Lindsay gets it. GOB BLUTH Wait. What? For family of the year? No! LUCILLE BLUTH We need her to be the center of this. She's the one running for office. GOB BLUTH But what about Dad? You're the head of the family. GOB BLUTH You're the alpha. Or me, for that matter. I am the CEO! Mom said. LUCILLE BLUTH Fine, I'll get trophies for everyone. GOB BLUTH Everyone gets a trophy. Count me out. LUCILLE BLUTH Fine. Everyone but Gob. GOB BLUTH No! MAEBY FUNKE Are you sure I didn't mention that in the text? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah, I'm sure! I read that thing down. MAEBY FUNKE Hmm. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Should I go say, "Hi," to him? I haven't even seen my Darth since I hit him. I. It What if he asks me about Rebel? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH I mean, that's the love of his life that he gave up for me, and I haven't even called her once. MAEBY FUNKE Just tell him that. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH The truth, huh? MAEBY FUNKE Yeah. Sometimes the simple truth can hurt a man more than the most brutally fashioned lie. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Maybe I should get out of here. MICHAEL BLUTH Is anyone else noticing that-that the family isn't quite, uh, as we remember them? LUCILLE BLUTH In what way? MICHAEL BLUTH That is not Buster. TOBIAS FUNKE I'm in! TOBIAS FUNKE Uh Buster, oh, um, it's about time you got here, um, to the penthouse. MURPHY Did the skit start? I don't have the hook thing. MICHAEL BLUTH Hey, what's happening? TOBIAS FUNKE Shh! MURPHY Can I just do this with my hand instead. Tobias? TOBIAS FUNKE Michael. I'm Michael. Just stay in it, Murphy- eh, Buster. Stay in. TOBIAS FUNKE He did a fantastic job as Buster in the campaign interviews, so I will get him there, uh, uh, for the awards ceremony. I will. He's a He's a He's a young actor. MURPHY I don't even really want to be an actor. It's not what I want to do. TOBIAS FUNKE Oh, and, uh, who's making you be an actor, Buster? LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE I think he's talking to you, Tobias- TOBIAS FUNKE Shut up, Lindsay! Li. You're Sister. TOBIAS FUNKE You're sis. Lindsay sister. Who's making you be an actor, Buster? MURPHY M-My father? TOBIAS FUNKE What? Who? Him? TOBIAS FUNKE How could you do this to our son? His son! Your son. TOBIAS FUNKE I, okay, I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to pull myself out of this part for one brief second, because now even I am confused. TOBIAS FUNKE I'm going in and out of Michael like a cuckoo clock bird. TOBIAS FUNKE Okay. Uh, so, I'm Michael. Uh, Gob is Gob. TOBIAS FUNKE Michael is no one, and okay, yes, the. Got it. And opening night energy everybody. Places and re. TOBIAS FUNKE Uh, peas and carrots. peas and carrots. Red leathery, yellow leather. GEORGE BLUTH SR Tobias. Hey, hey, hey, hey. All right. All right. GEORGE BLUTH SR We do not need a Buster. Okay? LUCILLE BLUTH That's right! Michael has him. TOBIAS FUNKE Indeed! And here he comes, now. Hm. MICHAEL BLUTH Has who? TOBIAS FUNKE Has who? LUCILLE BLUTH Buster! Y-You said you'd look after him. MICHAEL BLUTH That's the first I'm hearing about it. TOBIAS FUNKE W-W-We've heard about. LUCILLE BLUTH Michael, why are you lying about not having Buster with you? MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, no, I'm not lying about anything. RON HOWARD Well, he kind of was. RON HOWARD As months earlier, he had laid out a scheme to make it seem like Buster was a missing person. BUSTER BLUTH The cops are looking for me? MICHAEL BLUTH Everything's gonna be good. Everything's gonna be fine. MICHAEL BLUTH So, we got to wait about 48 hours before we declare you missing. Then they put out an APB. RON HOWARD At which point, Buster was to go to the police station and say. MICHAEL BLUTH You gotta go to the police station, remember? MICHAEL BLUTH Hey, guys. Heard you were looking for me. Here I am. This is about teaching Mom a lesson. BUSTER BLUTH MICHAEL BLUTH Let them race into town and save everyone for a change. In fact, I keep forgetting to ask. Uh, what was it that brought everyone back together in town this time? LUCILLE BLUTH Well, Lucille 2 was missing, and we had an obligation to look after the company. MICHAEL BLUTH So, it's not because of Buster. TOBIAS FUNKE MICHAEL BLUTH I see. Okay, well, listen. I don't. TOBIAS FUNKE RON HOWARD What Michael didn't know was that Buster had gone in to the police. BUSTER BLUTH What? And you think that's me? RON HOWARD But they wanted to talk to him about something else. BUSTER BLUTH I mean, that guy obviously has a giant rubber hand, and I have a giant melted hand that's smells like Bounce. BUSTER BLUTH I'm in the movie. BUSTER BLUTH Okay, that's definitely me. BUSTER BLUTH I'm just surprised to see it, since I'm pretty sure I erased that video. RICK You sure you don't want an attorney? BUSTER BLUTH No. Michael was very clear about that. BUSTER BLUTH I'm just a missing person. LIEUTENANT TODDLER Not anymore. RICK We don't need a bad cop from here. Go home. See your kid. LIEUTENANT TODDLER Thanks, Rick. That's why you're the good cop. MICHAEL BLUTH I don't know what kind of lesson you're trying to teach me, but you're all back. You're probably hiding Buster somewhere. MICHAEL BLUTH I mean, who knows. It's just. Not my problem anymore, in any event. MICHAEL BLUTH Okay? I got my own son to worry about. I am, uh I'm leaving. Goodbye. TOBIAS FUNKE Bye. Goodbye. MICHAEL BLUTH Okay, and I will not be back this time. TOBIAS FUNKE It's all about my son. TOBIAS FUNKE That was so helpful. Thank you. Just the. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, great! Get your stuff. Let's get out of here. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Dad. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh! MICHAEL BLUTH Hey! Hey, son. Oh, my goodness. MICHAEL BLUTH Look who it is. I was just gonna call you. This is, uh. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Back in town, or? MICHAEL BLUTH Are you, um. Yeah, briefly. You going to the family thing that we're, uh. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Giving to ourselves? No. No, I-I uh, can't make it. MICHAEL BLUTH Huh- yeah. MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah? No? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Should I tell them? MICHAEL BLUTH Well, you know, listen, I-I wasn't gonna go, so don't-don't-don't not go because I'm You know. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Well, no. You're the reason I would go. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH I just, have some plans, so I can't. yeah. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, yeah? Sweet. MICHAEL BLUTH You got plans, huh? Well, we make plans, and God laughs. Right? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah, that's right. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH No, I always want to make plans, but uh, you don't want to be laughed at. MICHAEL BLUTH Tell me. Yeah. Well, I won't laugh. Do you have plans with Rebel? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, yeah. I do, yeah. MICHAEL BLUTH Do you? Good for you guys. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH I do, yeah, no. It's-It's fun stuff. Yeah. Stuff I think, e- even if you weren't God, you'd.find funny. MICHAEL BLUTH You can't ask for more than that but it's not my business. Yeah? Only reason I ask, 'cause I I'm going on a scuba trip. MICHAEL BLUTH Um, yeah. Came back in town to get my gear. The only reason I'm here. Um, you know, it's just a last minute thing. Several weeks at sea. You'd hate it. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah, not my thing. MICHAEL BLUTH So, yes. I shouldn't've even asked you. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, did you ask? MICHAEL BLUTH Ah I don't want to inter. You shouldn't cancel your plans with Rebel. You know? Rain check. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH But Is this tomorrow, or. MICHAEL BLUTH Hmm? We leave today, so yeah God's probably. I mean, I can almost hear him laughing, now. You know. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH MICHAEL BLUTH Although, uh, maybe I imagine it doesn't make him laugh anymore. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Very- so much of life is, uh, plans. It must just be the same joke over and over. MICHAEL BLUTH So he's.. MICHAEL BLUTH It's not funny anymore. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH What's he laughing at? MICHAEL BLUTH Hey you happy? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, man. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH You know, in truth, it's uh it's-it's been a while since I've seen. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH You, first of all, but um. MICHAEL BLUTH Yep. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH The thing with, um. So, Rebel, you know 'Cause she. I just wanted to say between the two of you, you know, if you ever felt like because, like, she's indicated that maybe things were. I-I don't know what she said, but maybe things were not quite wrapped up completely with. MICHAEL BLUTH How is she? MICHAEL BLUTH Between me and her? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH You know. MICHAEL BLUTH She said that-that I left things unfinished? Hang on. That's got me. That's got me spinning out, 'cause uh. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH I mean, that could just be how she talks. You know how she is. MICHAEL BLUTH No, I-I think I was.was pretty clear that I. You know, I broke up with her. MICHAEL BLUTH You know. I show up there. I got a cactus, for godsakes, you know, which is. MICHAEL BLUTH That's the universal sign that things are over. You know? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH No, she must have just thought that you would also. MICHAEL BLUTH Say it. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah. Say it. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, yeah. I did. I said lots of things. I'm standing there. You had just left. MICHAEL BLUTH Ciao. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Bella. RON HOWARD When Michael ran into Rebel leaving her apartment. REBEL ALLEY That's for me. RON HOWARD But she had some bad news. REBEL ALLEY It's not gonna work out between us. I just wanted to tell you in person. RON HOWARD Michael didn't know why he said the next thing out of his mouth. RON HOWARD Maybe it was relief at not having to break up with her, but for some reason, he came up with. MICHAEL BLUTH Well, if you ever change your mind, I ain't going nowhere. REBEL ALLEY MICHAEL BLUTH I-I was afraid that maybe I was t-to hard on her, verbally. You know? MICHAEL BLUTH And then I, you know. Plus I had to leave for a couple of months for work. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Movie stuff? MICHAEL BLUTH Hmm? MICHAEL BLUTH Mexico. MICHAEL BLUTH Hope she's not getting a signal from you that you are not fully into her, you know, because you're worried that maybe I've got some unfinished business that you're holding back? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH No. No, I'm all in. RON HOWARD Actually, the only contact George Michael had had with Rebel was watching one of her movies, The Shane and Three Noahs. REBEL ONSCREEN Okay David, I get it. I'll say goodbye to your cat. And, you know what? You can say goodbye to these! GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Maybe I do miss her. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH No, I told her. You know, I even said, "Y'all are it for me." Yeah. MICHAEL BLUTH Well, you might want to go a step further and say, "Y'all ain't going nowhere." GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH No, she's it. No, I don't know why she wouldn't think I was wasn't going nowhere. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Pop. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, that's me. Um, good. All right. Well, uh, are you. Are you going down, or. MICHAEL BLUTH No. I forgot my-my bag. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Well, it's good to see you. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Ciao. MICHAEL BLUTH Bella. RON HOWARD On the next Arrested Development. GOB BLUTH That's it! I'm out of here! GEORGE BLUTH SR That's great. TOBIAS FUNKE Huzzah! Very good. LUCILLE BLUTH He's back! RON HOWARD Michael returns for his bag. MICHAEL BLUTH Okay, I get it. Is that supposed to be me? GOB BLUTH No, no, no. That's my impression of Tobias doing you. TOBIAS FUNKE Wait, what? What the. TOBIAS FUNKE Oh, that's it. I am out of here! MICHAEL BLUTH Tobias doing Tobias. Yep? MICHAEL BLUTH Right I don't care. I'm. Nevermind. RON HOWARD And Buster wonders why Michael isn't doing Michael. BUSTER BLUTH Why hasn't Michael come back? BUSTER BLUTH What happened to Michael always comes back? SAD ANGRY PRISONER 1 Where's Lance? Why won't Lance come back? Damon, you always come back! BUSTER BLUTH MOCKING PRISONER 2 Gary Gary always. BUSTER BLUTH SAD/ANGRY PRISONER 1 Why won't you come back? BUSTER BLUTH Okay.