BARTENDER BUSTER_BLUTH CLERK DAVE DISGRUNTLED_RIDER_1 DISGRUNTLED_RIDER_2 DISGRUNTLED_RIDER_3 DOCTOR_NORMAN DONALD_TRUMP_VO FAMILY GEORGE_BLUTH_SR GEORGE_MICHAEL_BLUTH GOB_BLUTH HELPFUL_GUIDE HELPFUL_WOMAN_1 HERBERT_LOVE JEFF KITTY LINDSAY_BLUTH_FUNKE LISA LUCILLE_2 LUCILLE_BLUTH MAEBY_FUNKE MAN_1 MAN_2 MAN_3 MICHAEL_BLUTH NOAH OSCAR_BLUTH PALS REPORTER_VO RON_HOWARD STEVE_HOLT TOBIAS_FUNKE TONY RON HOWARD Michael had decided to leave town, and needed to get out of his obligation to make a movie about his family. KITTY Are you kidding me right now? Michael. KITTY You had one job! You had to get your son to sign the releases. KITTY Ron Howard wants to make a heartfelt father-son drama that has a good clean message for his illegitimate daughter to star in. KITTY Don't pull this on me because we've already reserved the soundstages and he's already started paying off the Hollywood Foreign Press. RON HOWARD No, they're great. She's funny. MICHAEL BLUTH I understand all of that, okay. But Rebel is part of the reason why I can't do this. MICHAEL BLUTH You see, my son is dating her and I just don't want to get in the way of that. MICHAEL BLUTH If I could talk to Ron . I'm sure he and I- KITTY No. No. I am in charge of this movie right now. KITTY My ass is on the line while Ron makes a real movie in Mexico. MICHAEL BLUTH Mexico, okay. KITTY You don't understand how hard it is in Hollywood right now. You have to crank out these family dramas before they let you make your your dream superhero movie. MICHAEL BLUTH Do you have a dream superhero movie? KITTY I wanna remake Spider-Man 2, the first one. KITTY Or something that at least has a hook. BUSTER BLUTH Little girl. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, God! Stop. Damn it. MICHAEL BLUTH You know, my brother Buster has something better than a hook. MICHAEL BLUTH A robot hand. Okay? And there's a cop looking for him. KITTY Hmm MICHAEL BLUTH And they can't find Lucille 2. MICHAEL BLUTH And I find Buster in the attic in scuba gear. It's all very, very intriguing, okay, KITTY Mm-mm. MICHAEL BLUTH I think that's your movie. That's your guy. KITTY No. No. MICHAEL BLUTH Okay, I've got his release right here. RON HOWARD In fact, it was the only family member's release. MICHAEL BLUTH You're out of the movie. You're out of the movie. RON HOWARD he hadn't destroyed. MICHAEL BLUTH You're out of the movie. MICHAEL BLUTH You're out of the movie! You know what? You're out of the movie. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE Fine. MICHAEL BLUTH Hey, Dad, how ya doing? MICHAEL BLUTH You're out of the movie! RON HOWARD Of course with Buster. MICHAEL BLUTH It is not father-son, it's more mother-son. MICHAEL BLUTH But if you could get Rebel to play Lucille, you know, I mean, if you think she could go that unlikable. MICHAEL BLUTH So that's his release right here. MICHAEL BLUTH These are the other releases. You're gonna need some tape for these but, they're pretty clean. MICHAEL BLUTH You're gonna have to match them. KITTY You're off the picture, Michael. I'll give you your 500 bucks. MICHAEL BLUTH I get paid? KITTY They're Imagine dollars. They're only redeemable in the gift shop. MICHAEL BLUTH That's Ron Howard. KITTY Brian's on the 50. KITTY It's a new severance thing we're doing because of Ron's need to be loved and Brian's conflict avoidance issues. RON HOWARD Michael had gotten into the middle of something he wanted no part of. MICHAEL BLUTH I'm sure they've got a very old relationship. KITTY I could tell you stories. RON HOWARD But she wouldn't dare. RON HOWARD And after a quick stop downstairs. MICHAEL BLUTH I think I'm, I'm gonna take one gung-ho kimono, okay. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, and maybe a, a Brian wig. That's fun. CLERK Oh, we only sell these as a set. They were getting very competitive. MICHAEL BLUTH Were they? CLERK Brian was. RON HOWARD And another failed phone call to his son. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Hi, you've reached George Mi- MICHAEL BLUTH Sorry. CLERK And did you want that Rebel Alley here? MICHAEL BLUTH Oh. Uh, no, no. That's-that is mine. I came with that. Uh, okay. RON HOWARD Michael headed home to tell Buster his plan for making the family come back. MICHAEL BLUTH I've sent away the fumigator and all you got to do, so we can declare you missing, is stay out of sight for about 72 hours. BUSTER BLUTH Ah, Milford style. I'm a Milford man, Michael. MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah. BUSTER BLUTH Winner of 1982's least seen on campus. BUSTER BLUTH Oh! I wish I could've seen the looks on their faces at the ceremony. MICHAEL BLUTH Listen, we just, you know, we got to play this right and, uh, you got to- you got to make sure you don't, uh. MICHAEL BLUTH well, show your hand. BUSTER BLUTH This is literally one of only two things the army warns us about when they issue these. MICHAEL BLUTH Boy, Kitty does not know what she's sitting on. MICHAEL BLUTH Pal, I'm going to call you from, uh, wherever I end up and-and you're-you're gonna be great. BUSTER BLUTH I- I just don't understand why I can't go with you, Michael. MICHAEL BLUTH Well, first of all, it's about teaching them a lesson. BUSTER BLUTH Mm-hmm. MICHAEL BLUTH So, uh, and I just, I got in a big fight with my son, you know, it was kind of my fault. MICHAEL BLUTH You know, for so many years I was his mom and his dad, and so. BUSTER BLUTH Maybe that's a role I can play in your life. MICHAEL BLUTH Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't say. BUSTER BLUTH Mom. MICHAEL BLUTH I thought that time you were gonna say Dad. BUSTER BLUTH Mm-mm. MICHAEL BLUTH But you know, it's a-it's a bummer that you can't come with me, Buster, but you need to stay and talk to the cops. BUSTER BLUTH The cops? W-What cops? Why would you bring the cops into this? MICHAEL BLUTH Well, they're already looking for you. BUSTER BLUTH What? The cops are looking for me? MICHAEL BLUTH A cop, actually. BUSTER BLUTH I can't be talking to the cops. MICHAEL BLUTH Listen. BUSTER BLUTH I-I don't do good with the cops. I-I didn't do anything. I don't even know what's going on. I ain't got no truck with no blue. MICHAEL BLUTH Buster. Relax MICHAEL BLUTH You got nothing to worry about. They're looking for Lucille Austero. They just want to question you about her. BUSTER BLUTH Why-Why would I know anything about Lucille 2? BUSTER BLUTH I hope you didn't say we were dating, Michael. MICHAEL BLUTH Uh, well, I mean, you you did live with her. BUSTER BLUTH Well, I lived with mother, too, did you think we were dating? MICHAEL BLUTH The question's been asked. BUSTER BLUTH MICHAEL BLUTH Do you actually know where Lucille 2 is? BUSTER BLUTH No! No! A thousand times no! BUSTER BLUTH Is that what they're going to ask me? 'Cause it's not like I'm gonna remember a million details about where I last saw her and what we fought about. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, you fought. BUSTER BLUTH You kept me from mother. BUSTER BLUTH You sent her to prison. BUSTER BLUTH BUSTER BLUTH Should I not say that? BUSTER BLUTH I'm not good with the cops. MICHAEL BLUTH Right. BUSTER BLUTH What if Lucille 2 doesn't come back? MICHAEL BLUTH Don't-Don't worry about that. S-She, I just spoke to her today. BUSTER BLUTH What? In person? MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah. MICHAEL BLUTH Uh, no. On the phone. She's fine. Listen. BUSTER BLUTH Okay, well, you could've told me that from the beginning. MICHAEL BLUTH This is not about Lucille 2. This is about teaching Mom a lesson. BUSTER BLUTH Oh. MICHAEL BLUTH You know, I mean she just splits town and just assumes that-that I'm gonna take care of everything? BUSTER BLUTH MICHAEL BLUTH You know, this is just a way to, uh. BUSTER BLUTH Give Mom a little scare. MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Let them race back into town and save everyone for a change. MICHAEL BLUTH You know, nothing to worry about. BUSTER BLUTH Just Mama's worst nightmare. Buster's missing. Oh, and his bath has gone cold. RON HOWARD Buster was on board. MICHAEL BLUTH Maybe have a full psych panel while you're in there, too. BUSTER BLUTH Oh, those things are so easy to beat. RON HOWARD Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. RON HOWARD It's Arrested Development. RON HOWARD Having traveled south of the border, George Sr. and his son Gob found themselves at a Mexican singles bar. GEORGE BLUTH SR It's dead. GOB BLUTH Second place in a row. RON HOWARD Each looking for an excuse for their lack of heterosexual vigor. GOB BLUTH There is nothing going on here. GEORGE BLUTH SR I mean, where are all the blondes? You know, it's just. RON HOWARD But it wasn't a blonde that Gob was thinking about. RON HOWARD His recent rivalry with magician Tony Wonder had blossomed into a kind of friendship. RON HOWARD Before contracting into a rivalry again. GOB BLUTH Same TONY Same. RON HOWARD Which suddenly became a... oh, let's say boarding school romance. GEORGE BLUTH SR This-this place is full of cincos and Mayos. GOB BLUTH I need to find out whatever the word for ten is. GOB BLUTH And find that. GEORGE BLUTH SR It's ten. Every-every culture uses ten. GOB BLUTH Ten. RON HOWARD It wouldn't matter if it was an 11... because George Sr., too, had changed recently. GEORGE BLUTH SR You really hurt my feelings. GEORGE BLUTH SR Cause I am fat. GEORGE BLUTH SR It blew off at the CVS parking lot. RON HOWARD Having lost all sexual feeling of late. DOCTOR NORMAN Have you had any sexual feelings at all lately? GEORGE BLUTH SR No. RON HOWARD Despite some very aggressive therapy. DOCTOR NORMAN You know, the Hopi Indian believe that this spot here, when manipulated, can create sexual feeling. GEORGE BLUTH SR It's my penis. DOCTOR NORMAN You don't need to tell me. RON HOWARD Which sent him into his current crisis. DOCTOR NORMAN But I'm the one who can get hard, so let's focus on you. RON HOWARD of masculinity. BARTENDER Hey, these are from the ladies across the bar. BARTENDER They're primas. GEORGE BLUTH SR Primos, huh? GEORGE BLUTH SR I've got to be honest with you, I've-I've seen better. GOB BLUTH Eh. BARTENDER No, it means cousins. BARTENDER One hates her father, and the other hates her grandfather. RON HOWARD It seemed the cervezas weren't the only thing being handed to the guys on a platter. GOB BLUTH I don't know about you, but I'd prefer the thrill of the hunt. GEORGE BLUTH SR Yeah, I think if we just wait and something a little better will come along. GOB BLUTH Yeah. GEORGE BLUTH SR Thank you. GEORGE BLUTH SR Not trying to fall head over heels here. GOB BLUTH Yeah. Yeah. Not super eager to be, uh, missing somebody. GOB BLUTH GEORGE BLUTH SR Yeah. GEORGE BLUTH SR Well. GEORGE BLUTH SR Place gives me the creeps, let's get out of here. GOB BLUTH Yeah, let's get out of here. It's dead. RON HOWARD But back in America, Michael was working on a way to make his runaway family return. BUSTER BLUTH Make dad rush back into town and fix our family, you know? MICHAEL BLUTH So, we gotta wait about 48 hours before we declare you missing. And then they put out an APB. BUSTER BLUTH APB. "Aww, poor Buster." That's nice. MICHAEL BLUTH Well, you got to lay low long enough for Mom and Dad to hear about it. And pal, I would take you with me but truth is, I-I just-I don't know if I'm gonna come back. BUSTER BLUTH Right, okay. BUSTER BLUTH MICHAEL BLUTH What's so funny? BUSTER BLUTH You always come back to save the family, Michael. We joke about that all the time. MICHAEL BLUTH Well, I-I don't know what the joke is, okay. I've always been trying to do the right thing. BUSTER BLUTH "Hi, I'm Michael and I came here to save everyone so I feel special about myself even though you don't deserve it, so I'm leaving and I won't be coming back." MICHAEL BLUTH Buster. BUSTER BLUTH Oh! Look who's back. I thought we were supposed to go with a BUSTER BLUTH You would know, Mother. You practically invented when you get sauced! BUSTER BLUTH How dare you point that limp. Look at me when I saved you from one. BUSTER BLUTH I can't believe I pushed you out of my. You useless freak! BUSTER BLUTH MICHAEL BLUTH Covered a lot of ground there. MICHAEL BLUTH Although I'm glad to know I won't be leaving you alone. BUSTER BLUTH Oh, I'm going with you? MICHAEL BLUTH No, I'm going to Mexico or something and you got to go to the police station, remember? BUSTER BLUTH Oh, right. And why did they arrest me? MICHAEL BLUTH They don't. You go to the police station 'cause you say, "Hey guys, heard you were looking for me, here I am." BUSTER BLUTH Oh, but you said a cop had questions for me. MICHAEL BLUTH Mm-hmm. About Lucille 2. BUSTER BLUTH And I'm not gonna answer any questions, right? MICHAEL BLUTH No. You answer the questions. BUSTER BLUTH When Barry says it's okay. MICHAEL BLUTH Barry's not there. There's no attorneys there. You just tell the truth. BUSTER BLUTH Okay, like, bad example, I saw Lucille 2's lifeless body sprawled across the stair car? MICHAEL BLUTH Perfect. If that's what happened, that's what you tell them. Nothing to be nervous about, okay. MICHAEL BLUTH Lucille 2 is probably gonna be back from whatever bender she's on. MICHAEL BLUTH She's gonna be as-as dry as a oh, Lucille 1. BUSTER BLUTH I can hear mother winking now. MICHAEL BLUTH So, I got some groceries. These are gonna have to last. MICHAEL BLUTH I see you already got into the candy bears, huh? BUSTER BLUTH This is literally one of only two things the army warns about when they issue these. MICHAEL BLUTH Let me help you. BUSTER BLUTH Sometimes I think they spent 27 million dollars on the wrong guy. MICHAEL BLUTH Don't you say that about you... well, maybe you do say that. Maybe that's important to say. RON HOWARD And certain his mother would have to return to take responsibility for this particular son. RON HOWARD Michael went to say good-bye to his own. MICHAEL BLUTH Hey, pal, I am right outside your door. I was this close to telling you. You inside? LUCILLE 2 Hi, it's Lucille 2, I've been looking for you. MICHAEL BLUTH No! Note. LUCILLE 2 I know you have. MICHAEL BLUTH I mean, I know I'd left you a note and uh, uh boy, can you hear me? LUCILLE 2 Right now is the perfect time. We did hear something about it. MICHAEL BLUTH Hello? Hello? MICHAEL BLUTH Here we go again. Getting disconnected. LUCILLE 2 Are you sure you don't wanna reconvene. MICHAEL BLUTH This is why you always, leave a note. MICHAEL BLUTH Always leave a note. MICHAEL BLUTH Where's that from? RON HOWARD And Michael discovered a note he'd already written. MICHAEL BLUTH Sorry we keep missing each other! Are you avoiding me? Ha ha. Leaving town for a while. Love you. RON HOWARD That worked pretty well. RON HOWARD But perhaps if Michael had taken a few seconds to write an original note before leaving town, RON HOWARD he would've run into George Michael, who was coming to see him. RON HOWARD Only to come across a cousin he didn't recognize. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, hey, do you know if anyone's home? STEVE HOLT Uh, yeah, Buster's in there. STEVE HOLT But if you're looking for Michael, you just missed him. MAEBY FUNKE Oh well, so much for apologizing. I'm telling you, he's moved on. Okay? You should too. STEVE HOLT I just found out my Dad went down to Mexico without telling me. STEVE HOLT Welcome to the shitty parents club. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH No-no, we don't have kids. MAEBY FUNKE No. RON HOWARD Although, there was a kid that Maeby was eager to get away from. MAEBY FUNKE You know, Mexico sounds far from Perfecto. MAEBY FUNKE So that's perfect. MAEBY FUNKE What do you say? Screw it. No rules, anything goes. RON HOWARD A rebounding George Michael found the offer intriguing. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Just the cousins. MAEBY FUNKE Mm-hmm. RON HOWARD Which turned out to be. STEVE HOLT Primos! RON HOWARD this crew. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Why do you keep yelling that? STEVE HOLT Stop it. RON HOWARD Not far away, Michael was also heading to Mexico. MICHAEL BLUTH Uh, yes, I am completely sure he's been gone for 72 hours. MICHAEL BLUTH As a matter of fact, his bath has grown cold. MICHAEL BLUTH So that's an alarm bell right there. RON HOWARD And after finishing up one last bit of business, RON HOWARD Michael is ready to hit bottom and go off the map. RON HOWARD But that's hard to do when you're driving the car that makes maps. MICHAEL BLUTH Hey, no pictures. Thank you. Put your phones down. We take the pictures. RON HOWARD But when the fleet of recovery vans arrived from the search engine, Michael had been working for, he discovered that the car that takes the pictures was no longer under his control. MICHAEL BLUTH No-no-no, window up. Window up. DAVE Hi, I'm Dave. From mapping. DAVE She's Lisa from traditional search. DAVE And that's Jeff. JEFF I'm Jeff. From Earth. MICHAEL BLUTH Hi. Hi guys. DAVE We heard we had a runaway ostrich and, uh, we need you to return the car. MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, yeah. Sorry. Am I under arrest? LISA Oh, no. They never arrest the drivers. LISA They do come down pretty hard on the cars, but it's cheaper to just retrain the people instead. JEFF It sounds super futuristic and dystopian, but it's really not. RON HOWARD Earth was right. RON HOWARD Because once he had been escorted back to company headquarters, RON HOWARD Michael found himself settling into a new and generally carefree life. RON HOWARD One that couldn't have been farther from the bottom he'd forgotten about hitting. RON HOWARD Ironically, Michael's son had also experienced car troubles in Mexico. RON HOWARD And he wandered across his grandfather's deserted land hoping to find a spare tire. STEVE HOLT Can't believe you didn't know who I was. RON HOWARD And lose a third wheel. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Well, you know, there's nothing we can really say, man, I-I wouldn't blame you if you just took off and you don't come back, you know. STEVE HOLT Nah. STEVE HOLT Primos stick together. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Okay. Cousin. It means cousins. MAEBY FUNKE Oh, that makes sense. RON HOWARD But the land proved not to be deserted after all. RON HOWARD And as the menacing horsemen descended on the travelers, RON HOWARD George Michael found himself tempted to bring up his dust allergies. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Made a lot of dust coming up. RON HOWARD But hinted at them instead. RON HOWARD And they would soon discover. DISGRUNTLED RIDER 1 You are not welcome here. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, I'm so sorry, we j- GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Our car broke down and we thought we might find somebody here that we know. My grandfather owns this land. DISGRUNTLED RIDER 2 That is not what the sign says. MAN 1 Mister Effe. DISGRUNTLED RIDER 1 I am the elder here. This is our land. DISGRUNTLED RIDER 1 And you would be wise to never be seen here again. DISGRUNTLED RIDER 1 Strum! DISGRUNTLED RIDER 3 Now if you'll excuse us, we must say buenos días. DISGRUNTLED RIDER 3 Play the guitar, old man! RON HOWARD And George Michael asked the question anyone might. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Who were those scary handsome Mexicans on those magical horses? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH They just looked like old white men to me. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH We should probably get out of here. STEVE HOLT Yeah, I mean I've got a big job on Monday anyway. STEVE HOLT I-I was gonna have to leave early and, uh, I just didn't know how to tell you guys. STEVE HOLT But now we can just all go together. RON HOWARD And that's when he saw his opening. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Never. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Never. STEVE HOLT Are you? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH No. I mean, we're Bluths. We're gonna stay. Maeby, too. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH We're-the two of us are gonna stay here. RON HOWARD And soon, being with his cousin was no longer an obstacle, GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Get! GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH What a crazy asshole. RON HOWARD to George Michael's hope of being with his cousin. MAEBY FUNKE I was wondering how you were gonna get rid of him. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Was I that obvious? MAEBY FUNKE I just know that you don't like standing up to people on horses with guns. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH No, I never really was that guy. MAEBY FUNKE Let's find a bar. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Okay, yeah, I'd love that. RON HOWARD And so, after getting out of their dusty clothes, the two did just that. RON HOWARD And George Michael was soon getting a real feel for the people. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Hey. You're not gonna believe this. I just met these guys that are actually from Orange County. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH And two of them also go to UCI. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, and two of them are named Noah. But not the two that you'd think. MAEBY FUNKE Cool? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah, really cool. So they're staying down here renting a place while they do this immersive language course. They said we could just stay with them. MAEBY FUNKE I'm thinking about heading back. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH N-wait look. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH If this is about me firing you from Fakeblock, there's something that you should know. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Fakeblock doesn't actually exist. MAEBY FUNKE Are you telling me that the software that's supposed to keep people's computers unhackable and keep any kind of information private doesn't exist? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH How did you find out? MAEBY FUNKE It was easy. I just looked in your computer under "Secrets." GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, you looked in my "Please Don't Read" folder. MAEBY FUNKE No, that one was empty. I found it in "Just Odds and Ends." GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Great, so you got past my double bluff. MAEBY FUNKE It's okay, George Michael. You worry too much. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah, that keeps me up at night, actually. MAEBY FUNKE I just feel like I got to move on with my life, you know. MAEBY FUNKE Find some meaning. MAEBY FUNKE Get going with my own Goop. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Goop? What is Goop? MAEBY FUNKE Well, if you have to ask, you probably don't know what it is. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH I don't know what it is, I feel like maybe you don't know what it is. MAEBY FUNKE Maybe it's Go-Op? GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH To me, that would make less sense. MAEBY FUNKE Maybe that's what Go-Op is. MAEBY FUNKE Not everything always making sense. RON HOWARD It isn't. RON HOWARD Meanwhile, George Sr. and Gob continued trying to out-Goop each other. GOB BLUTH I won't tell Mom about all the ladies you're if you don't tell Mom about all the ladies I'm. GEORGE BLUTH SR Whoa, whoa, whoa, look at that one coming up. GOB BLUTH Where, where? Oh my God. Oh, she's hot. She's so hot. Dibs! GEORGE BLUTH SR No-no-no, Daddy saw her first. Daddy dibs. GOB BLUTH She got a friend or? She's got a friend, that's a friend, right? GEORGE BLUTH SR Bush. GOB BLUTH Trash bag and bush. GEORGE BLUTH SR Thought it was a woman. GOB BLUTH Yeah. GOB BLUTH Like. hunched over, right? Like, with the I wanted to do her so bad. GEORGE BLUTH SR Yeah. GEORGE BLUTH SR Wow, I mean, and I really liked her friend. GOB BLUTH Me, I liked her, too. GOB BLUTH Do you think that that was, like, a, like, a ten gallon Hefty sack? GEORGE BLUTH SR Yeah. Ten. Definitely a ten. GOB BLUTH I like. GOB BLUTH I like, a ten. RON HOWARD Meanwhile, Lucille, at the behest of her court-mandated therapist, was also struggling to make sense of things. LUCILLE BLUTH I can't believe the things you're telling me. LUCILLE BLUTH Am I a horrible person for saying these things? TOBIAS FUNKE No, but I was doing the math, and I still think you're gonna have a problem with this final raped murderer. LUCILLE BLUTH But who cares about him? Oh, this is pointless. LUCILLE BLUTH How many more sessions do I have to endure until I'm done with no offense. TOBIAS FUNKE Ha. LUCILLE BLUTH you. TOBIAS FUNKE Legally, two. But I am in the family. TOBIAS FUNKE I mean, this is my family. LUCILLE BLUTH My daughter is divorcing you. This is it. TOBIAS FUNKE I'm confused by the word "it." TOBIAS FUNKE Are you implying that you don't want to see me anymore? LUCILLE BLUTH I'm confused by the word "anymore." TOBIAS FUNKE There are so many things I can do for this family. You've lost touch with your daughter. Put me in for God sakes. LUCILLE BLUTH I thought this was my time. TOBIAS FUNKE It-It is your time. Yes, yes. TOBIAS FUNKE But as your therapist, I'm just pointing out that I know that you build these walls to keep out, for instance, your surviving children-in-law. LUCILLE BLUTH Don't talk to me about walls. That's why we're in this mess. LUCILLE BLUTH My husband buys land so we can get a contract to build a little something on the border. LUCILLE BLUTH A wall. And we did everything right. RON HOWARD Well, not everything. RON HOWARD They did buy land on the border. GEORGE BLUTH SR You live here? RON HOWARD To sell back to the government. And they even paid off a politician. GEORGE BLUTH SR Hey. I have the check! HERBERT LOVE I am gonna put this on my wall. RON HOWARD to stir up xenophobia. HERBERT LOVE We have got to build a wall between us and Mexico. RON HOWARD And while they made a few rookie mistakes. GEORGE BLUTH SR I bribed Love to get the wall, GEORGE BLUTH SR and I don't have the land to build it on. RON HOWARD Well, they had it. It was just on the wrong side of the border. RON HOWARD Which they might have known had George's brother Oscar not burned all the signs. DOCTOR NORMAN Do you think it's okay to burn these? OSCAR BLUTH Well, this is America. OSCAR BLUTH They don't want us to burn signs, they shouldn't write them in Spanish. RON HOWARD And so Lucille did what her own government might do. LUCILLE BLUTH Who better than the Chinese to help us build a wall, right? RON HOWARD She borrowed money from the Chinese. GEORGE BLUTH SR Oh, that's good enough for me. GEORGE BLUTH SR RON HOWARD But, of course, none of this was okay with the woman who owned a majority stake in their company. LUCILLE 2 How dare you? GEORGE BLUTH SR Lucille 2. LUCILLE 2 I can't be running a company that's building a wall I campaigned against. RON HOWARD And with their politician out of the race, their future looked bleak. LUCILLE BLUTH So, unless some angel descends on a golden chariot, we're completely over-leveraged. TOBIAS FUNKE And maybe you don't want to get hurt, TOBIAS FUNKE because as I say, hurt people, hurt people. LUCILLE BLUTH Oh, that's nice. LUCILLE BLUTH I always say make people cry, make people cry, but yours includes the people who don't want to give you the satisfaction. RON HOWARD Tobias decided to err on the side of Lucille keeping him on as a therapist. TOBIAS FUNKE You know what, let's lock that in there and I'd say we've made some real good progress today. TOBIAS FUNKE Yes. I really think this is working. TOBIAS FUNKE Winning. LUCILLE BLUTH Hurt people hurt people. RON HOWARD Lindsay had also made it to Mexico and was enjoying the fact that the men were more respectful. BARTENDER No-no-no. Puta night is Thursday. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE That's so nice. No, I'm not. RON HOWARD Although, part of that was based on her belief that puta meant young. BARTENDER No. No. Puta. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE I try to stay out of the sun. RON HOWARD And that's when she saw what appeared to be a Mexican version of her father. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE Oh, my God. GEORGE BLUTH SR Lindsay. What are you doing here? LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE I guess I just had to get away. GEORGE BLUTH SR I was just ordering lunch. Can I buy you lunch? LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE Oh, yeah. I'm so hungry I could eat. RON HOWARD Lindsay's daughter, meanwhile, discovered that her trip back home. HELPFUL GUIDE This is as far as we go. RON HOWARD took a detour. MAEBY FUNKE Oh. You live here? HELPFUL GUIDE No. These people have nothing. We are lucky. We have next to nothing. HELPFUL WOMAN 1 We are helping these people because nobody else will. HELPFUL WOMAN 1 They've been kicked out of the only country they've ever known for their whole lives 'cause of the cruelty of your president. HELPFUL WOMAN 1 Barack Obama. HELPFUL GUIDE Their old country's their mother. Their new country is there father. HELPFUL GUIDE Imagine if your mother and your father did not want you. MAEBY FUNKE So, you're trying to, like, teach them a lesson or? HELPFUL GUIDE We're volunteers. Who did you think the water was for? MAEBY FUNKE Oh, I thought, I thought you were just trying to get me to give you a higher Uber rating. RON HOWARD And Maeby decided to stay and help. RON HOWARD George Michael, meanwhile, settled into a different kind of south of the border lifestyle. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Mexico. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH It's like being in the Spanish dorms of the UCI sister campus in Spain all over again. RON HOWARD He was noticing subtle differences in the cuisine. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Yeah, the salt is different here. It's like fatter or something, right? RON HOWARD He reached out to the locals. NOAH Dude, I'm from San Diego. NOAH They wanted a real Mexican but my name's Noah. RON HOWARD He met another Noah. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH No way, Noah? Noah, get over here. There's someone I want you to meet. RON HOWARD Noah met another Noah. NOAH RON HOWARD And soon five, I want to say indistinguishable Americans, had Mexico on its heels. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Have you met Noah? NOAH Noah! RON HOWARD They saw foreign films. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH I'm glad someone had the guts to give minions their own movie. MAN 2 It's great because it's subtitled in Spanish, but we don't have to read, because it's in English. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Hey, if you don't want to see them, you can just block them like this. RON HOWARD Started trends. RON HOWARD He discovered charming native communities where local artisans peddled their wares. RON HOWARD Adopted customs like the midday break. RON HOWARD Or siesta. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Yes. Who left the air conditioning on? NOAH Oh, me. I never left. RON HOWARD And while George Michael was enjoying his status quo. NOAH I fixed the Wi-Fi. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Nice. Then why'd we go out? LUCILLE BLUTH Maybe I am. RON HOWARD Lucille was on the verge of an emotional breakthrough that could possibly change her life. LUCILLE BLUTH and our whole life is turned upside down. DONALD TRUMP VO Their bringing drugs, their rapists, and some I assume are good people. TOBIAS FUNKE This is my time. Your session ended. RON HOWARD And that's when she heard something. LUCILLE BLUTH Shh-Shh-Shh-Shh. RON HOWARD that would definitely change her life. REPORTER VO Words from Trump to announce after the candidate descended the escalator into the lobby. DONALD TRUMP VO I will build a great, great wall on our southern border. LUCILLE BLUTH Which is my idea. DONALD TRUMP VO And I will have Mexico pay for that wall. LUCILLE BLUTH Okay. LUCILLE BLUTH That is a clever twist. RON HOWARD Michael had been at Search for a month. RON HOWARD In that time, he'd developed himself physically. MICHAEL BLUTH sweep the leg underneath and duck, and sweep the leg. RON HOWARD He'd even gotten to teach a class. He was successful in persuading management to try out. MICHAEL BLUTH Ted, I think you see your daughter coming, and remember you're not expecting this. MICHAEL BLUTH But she's coming in hot with a right, and you're going to block everybody! MICHAEL BLUTH And we block everybody. MICHAEL BLUTH Mona, I know your husband's down, he probably needs medical attention, but you got another son on your flank, and everybody we're going to duck, sweep the leg and lunge. MICHAEL BLUTH And he comes back again, and we sleep the leg and lunge. That's great. MICHAEL BLUTH Everybody put down your cactus. Let's all huddle up. MICHAEL BLUTH Okay, now that you're lose, we're gonna do some Mom attacks son, we'll do Dad attacks daughter. MICHAEL BLUTH And we have time, we'll do Dad attacks Mom. RON HOWARD But he still felt something was missing from his life. RON HOWARD When he found a way to satisfy an old dream. MICHAEL BLUTH Boy, you really have to spend $1,000 bucks on a gear though. MAN 3 Not if you have your own. MICHAEL BLUTH Hm. Yeah. Yeah, well, not here, but I could drive home and get it. MICHAEL BLUTH 'Course I could see my family. RON HOWARD A family Michael hadn't seen in some time. RON HOWARD So he decided MICHAEL BLUTH Oh, what the heck. For a $1,000 bucks, it's worth the risk, huh? RON HOWARD And so he returned to a model home he left in some disgrace. RON HOWARD And he wasn't particularly proud of what he did next. MICHAEL BLUTH Hola, window cleaner. BUSTER BLUTH I shall be neither seen nor heard. TOBIAS FUNKE I'm afraid I just blue myself. LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE It's vodka. You know it goes bad once it's opened. GOB BLUTH I heard the jury's still out on science. RON HOWARD It was kind of an emotional moment. MICHAEL BLUTH Window cleaner. RON HOWARD Until right at the end there. RON HOWARD When he found a letter from Lucille 2. MICHAEL BLUTH She forgave the debt. RON HOWARD And feeling bad that he'd been forgiven by someone he wanted to forget, RON HOWARD he decided to thank her in person. RON HOWARD And tired of hiding, he decided to say hello to his own family. MICHAEL BLUTH Hello? RON HOWARD And when they weren't home, he found himself missing them. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Maybe I should ask if she wants to get pre-pre-engaged. FAMILY Speech, speech, speech! - BUSTER BLUTH It was like a Motherboy ball. FAMILY Speech, speech, speech, speech! MICHAEL BLUTH Lucille 2? MICHAEL BLUTH Hello. LUCILLE BLUTH Ah! Told you he'd come! GOB BLUTH It's on, it's on, it's on. GOB BLUTH Look at him fighting me. Bud, I haven't seen you in a year. MICHAEL BLUTH It's been two months, get your hands off me. Hey. GOB BLUTH Hey what's the last thing you remember us doing? Quick. What do you remember? RON HOWARD On the next Arrested Development. MICHAEL BLUTH A lot of hands down there. RON HOWARD Michael Bluth gets up from the floor. GOB BLUTH Where are my hands? TOBIAS FUNKE Okay, just some harmless bathhousing amongst brothers, yes? RON HOWARD And George Michael dips his toe into the Mexican nightlife. NOAH Guys, it's nine o'clock. GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH Gives us 30 minutes till they shut down that last machine in Pinkberry. PALS Mexico.