ACTOR_IN_FILM AUSTIN BRYCE CARYN DAVE ELIZABETH EMPLOYEE GREGG HARRY JOSH MADAME_RUE MAN_ON_PA PETER RORY SECRETARY STEPHANIE TOM URSULA VOICE_ON_PHONE WILL YOUNG_CARYN PETER Is she ready? ELIZABETH I don't know, she's in there reading. PETER Well, we've got to get to the campground, you know? ELIZABETH I know. I'll get her. ELIZABETH Come on, Caryn. We gotta go. ELIZABETH You're not even dressed. YOUNG CARYN Sure I am. ELIZABETH Where is your coat? Your hat? Your gloves? YOUNG CARYN Chill, Mom. ELIZABETH How do you even find anything in this mess? YOUNG CARYN Because I know exactly where everything is. ELIZABETH It's total chaos. YOUNG CARYN Not up here it isn't. ELIZABETH Pick up your dad's backpack? How are you enjoying Romeo and Juliet? YOUNG CARYN It's lame. ELIZABETH Lame!? I love Romeo and Juliet! YOUNG CARYN I don't see why. She marries the guy, like, the day after she meets him. ELIZABETH Well, she is only 13. YOUNG CARYN I know, right? She has her whole life ahead of her, which she totally just throws away for love. YOUNG CARYN What's the big hurry? PETER What's whose hurry? ELIZABETH Caryn's reading Romeo and Juliet. PETER Well, that's great! Girls PETER love that play. YOUNG CARYN I don't. ELIZABETH Caryn doesn't. PETER Well, why not? I mean, it's so romantic. YOUNG CARYN Would you throw your life away for love? PETER In a heartbeat. YOUNG CARYN Ew! YOUNG CARYN Peter ELIZABETH Let's go! YOUNG CARYN It makes no sense. YOUNG CARYN Her whole life ahead of her, and she just threw it all away for love? What's romantic about that? CARYN Hi! How are you? Hello. Hi there! CARYN You too! MADAME RUE See this card? Do you know what this card is? STEPHANIE Oh, wow. AUSTIN She's beautiful. STEPHANIE She's gorgeous. AUSTIN And hey, first date night without her. Bet you're checking your phone every five minutes. CARYN Stephanie! CARYN Come here! STEPHANIE Oh, hi. Um Hi. Uh Excuse me. Sorry. AUSTIN Are you serious? STEPHANIE Caryn! STEPHANIE Hi. STEPHANIE Thanks for bailing me out. CARYN Not a problem. They cornered me CARYN in the supermarket last weekend. My ice cream nearly melted. They have a lot of baby pictures. STEPHANIE Well, I can see why. It is a very cute baby. CARYN And yours and Austin's will be, too, when the time comes. STEPHANIE If the time comes. CARYN Stop it. It will. CARYN Two white wines, please? STEPHANIE Is Bryce here? CARYN No CARYN he went up north CARYN to spend Thanksgiving CARYN with his brother, Grady. STEPHANIE Wasn't he just up there over Labor Day? CARYN Yup. STEPHANIE Did he ask you to go with him? CARYN Nope. STEPHANIE Does that not bother you? That you've never met his family? CARYN Not as much as it seems to bother you, since you always bring it up. AUSTIN I couldn't help but notice you from across the room. CARYN Thank you. AUSTIN You are so beautiful. CARYN Careful, pal, she's a married woman. AUSTIN I thank my lucky stars for that every day. STEPHANIE Copy that. Thank you. CARYN What are you looking at, Gregg? AUSTIN Fantasy land, Gregg-style. GREGG Check it out. GREGG It's the finest private collection of vinyl in the tri-state area. GREGG Look at this. Isn't it magnificent? AUSTIN Gregg wants to buy this for his store AUSTIN but apparently, it's not happening. GREGG Every vintage record store in the world’s GREGG been trying to get ahold of the owner. I've emailed him, written him over a dozen times. AUSTIN Well, maybe he'll come around. CARYN Why don't we find out? GREGG Hmm? A fortune teller? Seriously? CARYN Come on, it's for charity. CARYN I'm paying. GREGG I don't want to know the future. CARYN Madame Rue CARYN I have a customer for you. MADAME RUE Good! AUSTIN Yes, here we go, buddy. MADAME RUE That will be $10. CARYN Okay. CARYN Here you go. MADAME RUE Ah, thank you. MADAME RUE Now give me your hands. GREGG All right. AUSTIN This is worth 10 bucks. GREGG This is kind of awkward MADAME RUE You will need a bigger boat. GREGG What? AUSTIN That's a line from Jaws. STEPHANIE Wow. GREGG What does it mean? MADAME RUE It's a metaphor. Thank you for your business. GREGG That's it? MADAME RUE What do you expect for $10? GREGG A reading? MADAME RUE And you MADAME RUE You should enjoy that drink MADAME RUE while you can. STEPHANIE Excuse me? MADAME RUE I realize MADAME RUE it is not on everyone's MADAME RUE favorite list MADAME RUE but Rue would be a wonderful name for a boy. Or a girl. MADAME RUE That MADAME RUE is what you call a "freebie." AUSTIN Yes. CARYN Okay then, we should probably get back to the party. MADAME RUE And you, pretty girl? MADAME RUE Would you like to know MADAME RUE your future? CARYN I'm good. GREGG No No, let's hear what she has to say. My treat. AUSTIN Do it, come on. STEPHANIE Yes. CARYN Okay. MADAME RUE Come here. Give me your hands. MADAME RUE You will receive a ring by spring MADAME RUE or you will never marry. CARYN Wow. CARYN Hi! CARYN Hi! Excuse me? CARYN Excuse me! CARYN Hello! Hi there! Hi! Wait, wait, wait! CARYN Hello! I'm looking for CARYN Mr. Halsey's office? TOM Can I help you? CARYN Hi! Yes! I'm looking for Mr. Halsey? Do you know where he is? TOM Existentially, no. Three-dimensionally, he's on this lift, talking to you. CARYN Hi. Mr. Halsey, I'm-- TOM Caryn Briggs, "In The Details Consulting?" CARYN Right. TOM Now, do you prefer "Ms. Briggs" or "Caryn"? CARYN "Caryn," please. TOM That is good, because I hate "Mr. Halsey." TOM Hi. I'm Tom. C.E.O. of this madhouse. But don't spread that around. CARYN Okay. TOM Uh, follow me. I'll give you a tour of the asylum. CARYN Great. TOM So, I started Post-Grad when I graduated college, and I was looking for a way to bankroll business school, when I noticed a lot of students were literally throwing all this stuff away. TOM Textbooks, furniture, last year's computer, you name it. So I cut a deal with the school to scavenge what I could, and I put it online for sale TOM and boom, I was up and running. CARYN Well, it has been quite a run. TOM Yeah. 'cause I realized early on there's, like, 4,000 colleges and universities in this country. CARYN 4,146, to be exact. TOM Wow. You did your homework. CARYN Like my business name says, "It's in the details." TOM Well, I contacted all of them TOM and soon, I was the go-to guy, so I stopped scavenging and I started brokering. Did you want some? CARYN I was wondering when you were gonna see the greedy look in my eye. They're my all-time favorite. TOM Right? Nuts, caramel corn, prizes. It's genius. CARYN Thanks. TOM We run everything out of here. Entirely web-based. It's a 24/7 operation. CARYN Well, I'm not surprised. P.G.S. is the go-to brand. TOM Yeah, I was first in. I got lucky. WILL Up top! CARYN Maybe, but you're also a fair dealer with a money-back no-questions-asked policy you totally stand behind. TOM You have been doing your research. CARYN Firsthand. I was a customer. A highly CARYN satisfied one. TOM Huh. I'm surprised they missed your name in the database. Do you have those purchase orders? URSULA Oh. Yeah. TOM Thanks, Ursula. URSULA Yeah. TOM But business has leveled out over the last 18 months, and I need to know why. CARYN Well, that's why I'm here. TOM Ah, this is you. CARYN This is me? TOM Yeah. TOM This, and the-- Oh, sorry. –the, uh, boxes in this room. TOM Sorry about the mess. I meant to have it organized before you got here, but, well, obviously, I didn't. CARYN But you do know where everything is, right? TOM Not really. CARYN So, these are all of your sales, financial and employee records? TOM I hope so. TOM They were kind of spread all over the place. CARYN I take it back. Maybe you did get lucky. TOM I told you. CARYN Well CARYN it's an easy one. I already know what my first recommendation is gonna be. TOM Hire a C.E.O. who knows what he's doing? CARYN This is me getting to work. TOM All right, I'll leave you to it. STEPHANIE Okay, wait a second, you're telling me STEPHANIE he died and left you everything? GREGG Yeah. He said that he wanted to make sure that they ended up with somebody who loved them as much as him, and that was me. CARYN To the owner of the finest collection of vinyl in the tri-state area! STEPHANIE Hear, hear. STEPHANIE Actually, guys I have some news, too. STEPHANIE I'm pregnant. CARYN What? CARYN Oh, my gosh! GREGG Stephanie, that's fantastic! CARYN Oh, my gosh! CARYN Oh, my gosh! CARYN Stephanie! GREGG To Madame Rue. STEPHANIE Oh, yeah! STEPHANIE To Madame Rue! CARYN To who? GREGG The fortune teller. STEPHANIE The Autumn Leaves fundraiser. GREGG Remember? She totally nailed it. That "bigger boat" that I needed was the bigger store that I'm gonna need for all this sweet vinyl. STEPHANIE She knew I was gonna get pregnant! GREGG What was your fortune again? CARYN I don't remember. STEPHANIE I do. STEPHANIE "You will receive a ring by spring, or you will never marry." GREGG What does that mean? STEPHANIE That means STEPHANIE that someone is about to get engaged. CARYN Oh CARYN I don't think so. CARYN Hey, good-lookin'! BRYCE Hey. CARYN Stephanie and Gregg are here. Say hi! GREGG Hi, Bryce. STEPHANIE Hi, Bryce! CARYN They both have really big news. BRYCE Can't wait to hear it. Uh, can you tell me tonight? Are you free for dinner? CARYN Uh, sure. Are you okay? BRYCE Yeah BRYCE Yeah, I just, uh We need to talk. CARYN Okay. BRYCE Uh, Hearts of Palm okay? 7:30? CARYN Great. I'll see you there. BRYCE Great. See you later. CARYN He seemed strange. STEPHANIE Well, of course, he did. STEPHANIE He's gonna propose to you tonight. CARYN Don't be ridiculous. GREGG Oh, come on, Hearts of Palm GREGG baby. That's the most romantic restaurant downtown. STEPHANIE Mm-hmm. GREGG Of course he's gonna propose to you tonight. CARYN Because of what some silly fortune teller said? STEPHANIE Madame Rue's batting a thousand so far. CARYN Oh CARYN I did not see this coming. STEPHANIE You guys haven't talked about marriage? CARYN No! I mean, we've been dating for a while, but I haven't even met his family. CARYN Still. STEPHANIE So do you guys want to get married? CARYN I don't know. I've never really thought about it. STEPHANIE Well, do you love him? CARYN Yeah. CARYN I do, you know? I guess. STEPHANIE So he'll ask, you'll say yes, and it'll all be perfect. CARYN Yeah. Perfect. PETER You know, that smells so fantastic that I think I need a little taste. CARYN Ew! CARYN Are you guys going to ever stop embarrassing me? PETER I hope not. ELIZABETH You look nice. CARYN Thank you. I'm meeting CARYN Bryce for dinner. Um, can I talk to you guys about something? PETER Sure, honey, fire away. CARYN How would you feel if I got married? ELIZABETH You're getting married? CARYN No, not yet CARYN not technically, but I'm pretty sure Bryce is gonna pop the question tonight. "Pop the question." That's a weird phrase. Why do people say that? ELIZABETH We don't really know Bryce all that well PETER No, but we like him. ELIZABETH We like him. CARYN Good. CARYN Good! That's good. PETER Right? CARYN So I will just go, and I will I will get engaged. I-- PETER Sure. CARYN I don't want to be late, to my engagement, so This all looks delicious. Good night! CARYN Love you guys! PETER Have we met him? CARYN Good talk, good talk PETER Well, this is a surprise. ELIZABETH I'll say. PETER Are you ready to be a mother-in-law? ELIZABETH Yeah. I think I could handle that. PETER Wow. BRYCE Thanks. Is that cream? BRYCE Okay. BRYCE I had a really great time with Grady and his family over Thanksgiving. CARYN I know. You said that. BRYCE Especially with my niece and nephew. Kids are so much fun when they're when they're little like that. BRYCE You have a stray hair. CARYN Hmm? Oh. BRYCE Yes. CARYN Thank you. BRYCE So anyways, uh BRYCE I've been spending a lot of time with them, and, well, I've been I’ve been, uh, asking myself some questions. CARYN What kind of questions? PETER You know. Questions. Like PETER "Who am I? Where am I going? What do I want?" CARYN Ah, the trivial ones. BRYCE Oh, he didn't bring me a spoon. CARYN Oh, it CARYN it-it's there. BRYCE But spoons BRYCE don't go on the left. What is he thinking? CARYN You were saying? The, um CARYN the questions? BRYCE Right, um Ones that, at our age, we should be asking ourselves. CARYN And did you find any answers? BRYCE Yeah. BRYCE In particular, the "What do I want?" one. CARYN And? BRYCE And BRYCE I want a family, Caryn. A wife, kids, the whole banana. CARYN Okay. BRYCE And so, as unexpected as this is probably going to be-- and it is for me, too, believe me-- BRYCE Um BRYCE I've decided that I can't see you anymore. CARYN What? BRYCE Um BRYCE I'm breaking up with you. CARYN You just said you wanted the whole banana. BRYCE I-I do. CARYN So why are you not proposing to me? BRYCE Proposing? BRYCE Caryn, you're not exactly marriage material. CARYN What do you mean I'm not marriage material? And, by the way, "material," that's a very offensive word in this context. BRYCE I mean, you don't want to get married. CARYN Why would you say that? BRYCE Because BRYCE you don't. CARYN I couldn't believe it. CARYN I mean, I did not see this coming. What am I supposed to do now? STEPHANIE How do you mean? CARYN According to Madame Rue, if I'm not engaged by-- When does spring begin? STEPHANIE March 20th. CARYN by March 20th, I'm destined to be an old maid. "Old maid"? That's a weird turn of phrase CARYN too. STEPHANIE I don't like it either. CARYN So, am CARYN I supposed to go husband hunting? Is there, like, a link on Craigslist CARYN for that? STEPHANIE Maybe you're not destined to get married. CARYN That's what Bryce said! Do you agree with him? STEPHANIE Well, I don't know, but just think about it. I mean, how long have you known that I wanted to be a mom? CARYN Since forever. STEPHANIE Mm-hmm. STEPHANIE And that Gregg would throw himself in front of a moving train to save a shrink-wrapped first pressing of Meet The Beatles? CARYN The CARYN same. STEPHANIE Right. STEPHANIE Because we talk about those things. CARYN Obsessively. STEPHANIE And unless you are keeping secrets from me, I have never heard you mention wanting to get married. Not once. And I have known you most of my-- CARYN Stephanie? Honey, are you okay? CARYN Stephanie? Are you okay? CARYN Is there anything I can do to help? STEPHANIE No, no Ugh STEPHANIE Remind me again why I wanted to get pregnant so much? CARYN They say morning sickness is a good sign. STEPHANIE Mm-hmm. Well, what they don't tell you is that it is morning-noon-and-night sickness. CARYN Well, it won't last forever. STEPHANIE well, it's okay. STEPHANIE If it means I have a healthy baby, I can live with it. VOICE ON PHONE "Ring, ring, ring," time to get up. VOICE ON PHONE "Ring, ring, ring!" Tommy, time to get up. "Ring, ring, ring!" Come on, buddy! VOICE ON PHONE It's another beautiful day! "Ring! Ring! Ring!" VOICE ON PHONE I'm just ringin' here Come on, Tommy-boy TOM Okay, shut up. VOICE ON PHONE Ringing-- TOM Hey. CARYN Hey, good morning. TOM Good morning. CARYN You look like you just woke up. TOM Uh, I did. CARYN You slept here? TOM Yeah TOM yeah, I'm getting there. TOM Good. TOM Um Well, I'll, uh, let you get back to work. I desperately need a cup of coffee. CARYN You know, I could use one, too. I'll come with you. TOM All right. Oh, a little slide whistle! I love these. CARYN Hey, so tell me something. Was it your CFO's idea to have your financials spread all over kingdom come? TOM Oh, we don't have a CFO, but we have a really awesome CPA. CARYN You're a multi-million-dollar company. TOM I know. TOM Scary, huh? CARYN It's unusual, for sure. TOM I'm the first to admit it. We've been flying by the seat of our pants, and we can't keep that up forever-- not if we expect to have a future. CARYN Oh, the future. I guess it's part of human nature to avoid thinking about it. TOM It's definitely part of mine. TOM How's your bowling game? CARYN As in "bowling" bowling? TOM Yeah. CARYN Uh, pretty much non-existent. TOM Well, that's perfect. We have a company bowling team that meets every week. Now, we're all really bad TOM but we just do it to relax and hang. It's open to anybody if you want to join us. CARYN That'd be great. Give me a chance to get to know some of your employees. TOM Ugh, "employees." I hate that word. Makes me feel like Lumbergh from Office Space. CARYN Oh, I love that movie! TOM Yeah! It's the best! “Excuse me. Have you seen my stapler?” CARYN “seen my stapler!” CARYN Uh, so, when do you guys meet? TOM Sunday afternoons. And you better be as bad as you say you are, or people will get really annoyed. CARYN I'm the absolute worst, I promise. TOM Okay. PETER Well, I gotta say, we really weren't that surprised. CARYN What, you don't think I'm "marriage material" either? I still hate that. ELIZABETH No, that's not what we're saying, sweetheart. It's just, well, look at your history. I mean, you and Rory went steady all through high school. CARYN Right. PETER And you and that mountain climber guy ELIZABETH & CARYN Dave. PETER Well, you were inseparable in college. ELIZABETH And Josh is the only guy you dated in business school. CARYN See? I'm a monogamous person! ELIZABETH They all moved on. PETER And now Bruce has, too. ELIZABETH & CARYN Bryce! CARYN And I guarantee you Rory didn't break up with me because I'm not marriageable. We were in high school. ELIZABETH Is he married ELIZABETH now? CARYN Yes. PETER Yeah, well, what about Dave? CARYN Josh isn't married! ELIZABETH I thought you and Josh lost contact. CARYN Not possible in the age of social media, Mom. ELIZABETH All we're saying is, this has been your pattern. TOM Looks good, Will! Nice! TOM You are setting the bar awfully low. CARYN I warned you. TOM Show-off. WILL That was WILL awesome. You made the team. WILL So, what exactly WILL does a business consultant do? CARYN I analyze a business based on its past history and current performance CARYN and then I make recommendations on how they can CARYN do things better, and then help implement them. WILL So are we getting a report card? CARYN You betcha! WILL Awesome. URSULA Uh, Will and I are analysts, too. "Symbolic analysts." URSULA Read, “geek.” WILL "Geek." Although Ursula's geekier than me. URSULA I truly am. WILL Pretty much everybody at P.G.S. is a geek, including Boss. TOM I told you never to call me that. TOM Uncle Harry, you made it HARRY Of course. Watching you bozos stumble over yourselves HARRY it is the best game in town. HARRY Yeah! Hey, Will. WILL How's it goin', Harry? URSULA Good to see you, handsome. HARRY Hey. HARRY So, who's the pretty new face? TOM Uncle Harry, this is Caryn. She's doing some TOM consulting work for us. CARYN Hi! Nice CARYN to meet you. HARRY I'm charmed. I don't see a ring. Why don't you ask her out? TOM Down, boy. TOM Sorry. CARYN And go! Got it? GREGG Yeah . CARYN Oh, Gregg, thank you so much for helping me with this. I really appreciate it. GREGG Yup. CARYN Okay. GREGG We're really supposed to change mattresses every seven years? CARYN Yep. GREGG Well, I'm about a decade overdue then. CARYN Do you remember in high school when you asked me to the homecoming dance? GREGG Of course. I asked the hottest girl in school, and she said yes. CARYN Aw Thanks for that "hottest girl in school" comment. That's not true, but GREGG Yes, it is. And then that stud muffin Rory Matthews GREGG swept you off your feet. CARYN Right! That happened. GREGG Which was totally cool, because then you and I got to be friends instead. Man, Rory Matthews. I haven't thought about him in ages. Right? He was so crazy about you, it was ridiculous. CARYN He really was. So why did he break up with me? GREGG I don't know. GREGG I guess-- CARYN And Josh? CARYN And Dave? Why did they just move CARYN on? CARYN I need to find out. CARYN Rory? Hi! It's Caryn. CARYN Caryn Briggs. CARYN How are you? January 27th 51 days until Spring CARYN Tom! TOM Hey, you eat here, too? CARYN Yes, I love this place. They have the best mozza-- CARYN & TOM rella sticks in town. TOM Huh. CARYN Rory! TOM Well, enjoy your lunch. CARYN You, too. Is that-- TOM Oh, uh, yeah, extra-crispy TOM mozzarella sticks. CARYN Cracklin' Fun for dessert? TOM You know me so well. CARYN Bye, Tom. TOM See you. CARYN Rory. RORY Caryn. CARYN It's so good to see you. RORY It's good to see you, too. CARYN Oh, thank you for meeting me for lunch. RORY No, of course. RORY Cooper's three and a half, and Ashley will be one in a few weeks. CARYN Oh, they're super cute. RORY Yeah, they're a couple of sweethearts. That's Brandi with Fiona. Brandi's my wife. And Fiona-- CARYN The Golden Retriever. RORY Yeah. CARYN Got it. Brandi's super cute, too. RORY Yeah, I lucked out there. RORY So, how about you? Are you married? Kids? CARYN No. No, I'm, um still an army of one. RORY Well, that doesn't surprise me. CARYN It doesn't? RORY No. No, you were always so independent. So self-contained. RORY Brandi's the opposite. She needs a lot of attention. CARYN So Brandi is high maintenance? RORY Majorly. CARYN And if I'm the opposite of that CARYN that means I'm low maintenance? RORY In high school you sure were. CARYN Isn't low maintenance a good thing? RORY I like high maintenance. I like taking care of Brandi and the kids. I like feeling needed. CARYN Okay. So, I did not make you feel needed in high school? RORY Is that why you called me after all these years? Are you working on some unresolved high school issues? CARYN No. No, not really high school exactly CARYN but I do have this pattern where the guys that I'm dating, it's going great, and then they just move on. You know, like you did. RORY We were 17. CARYN But if I didn't make you feel needed in high school, why were you with me? RORY High school relationships are pretty much all about hormones, Caryn RORY and you, too, are pretty cute. RORY Anyways, I don't think "romance" is the right word. You were not romantic. CARYN I wasn't? RORY No, um Do you remember that-- your report on Romeo and Juliet? RORY You said Juliet had her whole life ahead of her CARYN And she threw it all away. For love. CARYN Yeah, I do remember that. RORY Maybe that's your pattern, wanting to avoid that. SECRETARY Gregg is here to see you. BRYCE Send him in. GREGG Thank you. BRYCE Hey, Gregg. GREGG Bryce Good to see you. BRYCE Have a seat. GREGG Thanks. GREGG Great. BRYCE So We're updating your business's BRYCE liability policy, right? GREGG Yeah. I'm moving into a bigger space. That's the new lease agreement. BRYCE Great. Let's have a look. BRYCE Hey, have you seen Caryn lately? GREGG Yeah. About a week ago. BRYCE How's she doing? GREGG She's good, she's GREGG same old Caryn, you know. BRYCE Good BRYCE Man, that was hard, breaking up with her. GREGG Yeah? BRYCE Yeah, I still care about her, a lot. Just, uh didn't see a future for us, you know? GREGG Right. Then I guess it's best you broke it off. BRYCE Yeah, I guess. I guess I just, uh I still miss her. BRYCE Let's get back to this. Uh, let's see. BRYCE Everything looks good. Let's review 5-D. STEPHANIE Yeah, I remember that book report. I mean, we were all pretty shocked. STEPHANIE Girls love Romeo and Juliet. And why were you having lunch with Rory Matthews? CARYN I'm on a journey. STEPHANIE A journey backwards? CARYN Mostly. STEPHANIE And what are you hoping to find on this journey? CARYN Why every guy I have ever dated dumped me. STEPHANIE Well, figuring things out is your specialty. CARYN Are you going to eat all of those? STEPHANIE I sure am. I'm finally over the morning sickness, and I have been waiting my whole life to take a vacation from dieting and eat whatever I want. I mean, it is the whole point STEPHANIE of being pregnant. CARYN Also, the, um, the baby you're going to have. STEPHANIE That, too. STEPHANIE So, what's the next stop on your journey? Mickey Samelson from junior high? CARYN Ew! CARYN No! And I dumped him. STEPHANIE Well then, it's got to be-- CARYN Dave! TOM Yes! CARYN Hey, it's Caryn! Yes, that Caryn. Well, I saw on Facebook that you are gonna be in town next week, and I thought TOM She has a very active social life. HARRY Well then, ask her out for crying out loud. TOM Come on. CARYN Tuesday for coffee sounds perfect! Okay, Dave, I'll see you then. Have a great trip. Bye. CARYN Wow, Dave, that is an unbelievable view. DAVE Well, it better be. It takes about three days to climb to the top DAVE of Kilimanjaro. CARYN Did you have to train a lot before you went? DAVE Oh, yeah, definitely, but that's part of the fun. CARYN Who’s that? DAVE Oh, Monica, on our safari. CARYN Boy, she looks really fit. DAVE She is. She, uh, she keeps me on my toes. DAVE We're headed to Bonaire this summer. CARYN Where is that? DAVE The Dutch Caribbean. Some of the best scuba diving in the world. DAVE Here you go. CARYN Cool. So no kids CARYN yet? DAVE No kids ever. We decided pretty early on that we were going to focus our full attention on each other. CARYN Right. I read more and more couples are doing that. DAVE Yeah. Look, between us DAVE Monica and I, we make a pretty darn good living. Low-stress jobs DAVE lots of vacation time, so why tie ourselves to raising a family when there's DAVE all those adventures out there to tackle, right? CARYN Right. Yes. DAVE So, what about you? You, uh, you still single? DAVE I don't see a a ring. CARYN Yeah. Yup, still an army of one. CARYN Thank you so much for meeting me today. DAVE Yeah! CARYN Um, do you mind if I, um, ask you a question? DAVE Not at all. CARYN Why, um, exactly did you break up with me? Do you remember? DAVE Sure. I did it to see what you'd do. CARYN What did you want me to do? DAVE Fight for me. CARYN I didn't know that. DAVE Well, I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but it always seemed to me DAVE that, you know, even though we had great times together, you never wanted me in your life as much as I wanted you in mine. CARYN Yes, I did! DAVE Well then, why did you give up so easily when I broke it off? ELIZABETH So he was testing you? CARYN Yeah. PETER That is so manipulative. CARYN Maybe, but I failed. ELIZABETH No, I don't think so. PETER No, a guy like that? You're better off without him. CARYN So, what was I doing with him for three years? ELIZABETH You were young, in college. CARYN Do you think it's possible that I was with him because I knew we weren't going to have a future? And Josh? And Bryce? Because I had my whole life ahead of me, and I didn't want to just throw it away for love? PETER Huh? ELIZABETH Her Romeo and Juliet book report. CARYN You remember that? ELIZABETH Sure. You're the only girl I ever met who didn't like Romeo and Juliet. CARYN So, what does that say about me? ELIZABETH It says you were 12, and, like most kids, knew everything. CARYN Maybe I did. ELIZABETH Why don't we just watch our movie. CARYN It's not a romance, is it? PETER No, it's a mystery. It's British. CARYN I like British guys. Maybe my husband's British. ELIZABETH All right. PETER That's the last thing you'd want is a British guy. CARYN Dad ELIZABETH You are gonna find the guy of your dreams. URSULA Huh. TOM Hi, Ursula. URSULA Hey, Tom. URSULA Huh, is that a new shirt? TOM Yeah. URSULA It's nice. TOM Thanks. URSULA Yeah. Are you wearing aftershave? TOM Yeah. URSULA So when are you gonna ask her out? TOM Ask who out? URSULA Come on, Tom, you think your friends are idiots? URSULA We've all seen the way you've been looking at Caryn. TOM It's that obvious, huh? URSULA Look, how long ago did you and Ashley break up? URSULA Like, 18 months? TOM Yeah, something like that. URSULA So you're, like, way overdue to start dating again. TOM Ursula, I don't want to just date to date. I want to get serious about somebody. URSULA You gotta date 'em first. She's really cool, Tom. Just go for it. TOM You sound like Uncle Harry. URSULA Well, Harry's a very smart guy. CARYN Hey! Josh! JOSH Hey. CARYN Hi! JOSH Nice to hear from you. It's been a long time. CARYN I know! How are CARYN you? How's San Diego? JOSH Sunny and prosperous. JOSH My surfboard business is really taking off. CARYN Really? Well, I'm not surprised. I mean, you were the star of our M.B.A. program. JOSH And what about you? Are you still consulting? CARYN Yes CARYN I am. I'm actually-- I’m running into P.G.S. right now. JOSH Ah, the surplus guys. JOSH I love them. Look, I can't talk for long. I'm about to start a meeting. JOSH Is there a reason that you got in touch? CARYN Yeah. I'm actually, uh this is kind of awkward, but CARYN lately, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching, and I was just wondering CARYN when business school was over, and I was moving back here, were you at all tempted CARYN to ask me to stay? JOSH Sure. CARYN So why didn't you? JOSH Because I knew you weren't in love with me. CARYN Well, were you in love with me? JOSH Yeah, crazy in love. CARYN Josh, I didn't know that. JOSH Well, I JOSH told you. Didn't you believe me? CARYN Not really. CARYN I'm so sorry! JOSH Ah, no, don't be. JOSH I'm over it, and we had a great run. CARYN Yeah, we really did, didn't we? JOSH You know, don't do too much soul-searching, Caryn. JOSH Just embrace the moment. You're always really good JOSH at that. CARYN Thank you, Josh. CARYN That's so sweet. JOSH I don't know JOSH come out and see me soon. CARYN I would like that. TOM Hi. CARYN Hi! JOSH All right, I'm going to buzz. Good talkin' to you. CARYN One second. You, too! CARYN Have a great day! CARYN Hi! TOM Uh, oh, uh, I read your preliminary report. I was wondering if you had TOM time to go through it with me? CARYN Sure. Yes, you wanna Let's just go CARYN to my office. TOM Sure. TOM I know this is none of my business, but, uh, was that your boyfriend? CARYN No, I'm-I’m actually not dating anyone at the moment. TOM Oh. So I guess a lot of your friends just happen to be guys, huh? CARYN What do you mean? TOM Well, the diner CARYN Rory! Right. And-and Josh. TOM And somebody named Dave? TOM Bowling? Phone call? CARYN No, those guys are all friends. I-I was in a relationship, a very serious one, until recently. TOM Ah, did he go commitment-shy on you, 'cause I know that drill. CARYN No, it was actually me. CARYN I couldn't make the commitment he wanted, so I'm not committed, even though he never asked me to commit. I think I could be committed, but I'm not. TOM Why didn't you ask him? CARYN Because I didn't know I wanted that. TOM Do you? CARYN I don't know. CARYN I think CARYN that whole "she had her whole life ahead of her and just threw it all away" thing CARYN really twisted me up. GREGG This is the Romeo and Juliet thing? CARYN Yes. I got it in my head that if you let yourself fall in love with someone, your whole world changes. GREGG Well, doesn't it? CARYN Yes, but change is good. I thought change was bad. GREGG Well, it can be. Hey, Marco. GREGG So, what are you trying to say? You're sorry Bryce GREGG broke up with you, or? CARYN Yes! CARYN I think I blew it. GREGG I don't think so. GREGG I think you still have a shot with him. CARYN What? GREGG I saw him the other day, and he seemed really sad about the breakup. CARYN Why didn't you tell me that? STEPHANIE Sorry I'm late, guys! GREGG Hey. STEPHANIE But you have got to see this. STEPHANIE Meet STEPHANIE my baby. GREGG What? STEPHANIE I know! GREGG Stephanie GREGG that's so cool! CARYN Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh! STEPHANIE I know CARYN Oh, my gosh CARYN Wow CARYN You love being married, don't you? STEPHANIE Well, except on those days when Austin drives me up the wall. CARYN And now, a baby on the way? It is a beautiful life you're living, Stephanie Kirkwood. STEPHANIE What is this? What is this all about? CARYN This journey that I've been on, I just, I think I've finally found my way out of the maze. STEPHANIE Yeah? CARYN Yeah. I mean, all the guys that I've dated, they've all known something about me that I didn't even know myself, or at least I wouldn't CARYN admit to myself. STEPHANIE What? CARYN I'm afraid of marriage, and I have to get over that. I think Madame Rue's prediction was a wake-up call. CARYN Hi. BRYCE Hi. BRYCE What are you doing here? CARYN You were wrong about me, Bryce. I am marriage material. CARYN I really am. CARYN Can we Can we talk? BRYCE Yeah. Come in. Come on in. BRYCE After you. CARYN So, I don't know if you're going to believe this, but I-I saw a fortune teller. CARYN She said I would receive a ring by spring. BRYCE Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. A fortune teller told you this? CARYN Yes CARYN but a really amazing one. She totally saw what was going to happen with Stephanie and Gregg. BRYCE So you want to get back together so that this prediction can come true? CARYN No. CARYN No, because this is supposed to happen. You were ahead of me. I'm just catching up. BRYCE I missed you. CARYN So, did you look at all of these magazines when you were planning your wedding? STEPHANIE A lot of them. CARYN I had no idea there were so many. STEPHANIE This is just the tip of the iceberg. CARYN Hello! AUSTIN Dinner is served. CARYN Wonderful! I'll go serve us up. AUSTIN What are you guys doin'? CARYN Bryce and I are getting married! AUSTIN I thought you broke up. STEPHANIE Austin AUSTIN No, I-I mean, uh wow! Caryn, that's-that's great. CARYN I know! Thank you for picking up dinner AUSTIN Getting married? STEPHANIE Mm-hmm. CARYN They have the best kung pao chicken. AUSTIN Is this for real? STEPHANIE I don't know. As far as I can tell, he hasn't proposed, they haven't set a date. AUSTIN But they're seeing each other again? STEPHANIE Apparently. AUSTIN Is this a good thing? STEPHANIE I hope so. But looking at bridal magazines with Caryn, someone I have known my whole life, who has never shown the least bit of interest in stuff like this? CARYN I love you guys. STEPHANIE Weird. TOM By now you all know Caryn, the hands-down worst bowler on the team. CARYN Thank you. TOM She has spent the past many weeks analyzing P.G.S. TOM from top to bottom, figuring out what makes us tick, and, hopefully, how to make us tick even better TOM but I'll let her explain all that. TOM So, without further ado, please welcome Caryn Briggs! CARYN First of all, I want to say CARYN congratulations to all of you for running such a successful CARYN customer-friendly business. URSULA Yes! CARYN Now, I have advised a lot of businesses CARYN over the years, and most of the time CARYN what I discover, which nobody wants to hear, is they're not working hard enough. CARYN With you guys, it's actually the opposite. CARYN You work too hard! CARYN Most of you put in eight to ten-hour days, occasional all-nighters CARYN like the guy here who does not want to be called CARYN your boss. CARYN And organizationally CARYN well, there is not a lot of organization. CARYN As a result, you're not as effective as you could be. CARYN Now, this lays out my recommendations for how we fix that. CARYN Over the next six weeks, we will implement them, which means I will be spending one-on-one time with all of you CARYN and then we will crunch the real-time numbers and see how effective they are. CARYN How does that sound? EMPLOYEE #1 Great. EMPLOYEE #2 Sounds good. EMPLOYEE #3 All right! WILL I heard we have homework? CARYN Yes, you do. WILL Oh, boy URSULA That was awesome. We totally needed to hear that. WILL Work 9:00 to 5:00? What a concept. CARYN Thank you. URSULA Oh, let me know when our one-on-one is gonna be. CARYN Will do. URSULA Yeah. TOM I'll tell you right now, there's no way I'm going home at 5:00 every day. CARYN Well, I'm a consultant, not a cop, but if you don't, and business doesn't improve, don't blame me. TOM You really think this is going to help? CARYN You better believe I do, or hiring me was a waste of time. TOM Point taken. TOM Hey, are you hungry? 'Cause I am jonesing for some mozzarella sticks. CARYN Oh, I would love to, but I can't tonight. TOM What about tomorrow night? Like a dinner date. CARYN That's, um Wow, I mean, that's That's really sweet. CARYN I-I, um CARYN But my-my boyfriend Bryce and I just got back together. TOM Oh. CARYN That whole commitment thing that I told you about, we worked on it, and, um CARYN we're gonna get married. TOM Married? Uh congratulations. Um, I mean, congratulations to Bryce, since you're supposed to congratulate the guy and not the girl. CARYN I didn't know that. That's something that's TOM Yeah, that’s-- that’s a thing. TOM Well, this is it's great news. You know, you should invite him bowling. I would love to meet him. CARYN Okay. I will. CARYN And-and thank you for asking me out. I mean, if I were single, I would have really liked that. CARYN So I'll get TOM Yeah. PETER I'm getting the hang of this. ELIZABETH Good! PETER I'm getting better, right? Don't you think? ELIZABETH Yes. PETER Okay, one, two, three One, two three ELIZABETH two, three PETER Okay. Yeah, okay. Ooh, I'm sorry. ELIZABETH You're doing great! Not at all, honey. Oh PETER You know, we could, uh You know, we don't have to do this standing up. ELIZABETH Oh, Peter PETER That's the part of dancing I think that people forget. Don't you think? ELIZABETH Oh PETER Yeah. ELIZABETH Stop ELIZABETH Oh, hi, sweetheart. PETER Oh, there you are! CARYN You guys look fantastic! ELIZABETH Oh, hardly. PETER No, no, no, no, the judges have spoken. CARYN How long have you been dancing? ELIZABETH Uh, since tonight. PETER Yeah. ELIZABETH There's a Valentine's Day dance at the rec center. We don't want to embarrass ourselves. PETER And we won't. ELIZABETH We might. ELIZABETH It'll need to be taken in. You're thinner than I was on my wedding day. ELIZABETH What do you think? CARYN I don't know. ELIZABETH I have zero attachment to the idea of you getting married in the dress I wore. You know that, right? CARYN Right. I gotta admit, I never thought I'd see myself in one of these. ELIZABETH Why? CARYN Can I talk to you about something? ELIZABETH Sure. CARYN Mom, how did you do this? I mean, I know the sacrifices you've had to make to marry Dad. ELIZABETH What are you talking about? CARYN New York, publishing, your whole career. ELIZABETH That was just a job I had after college. CARYN But it was so exciting and glamorous. ELIZABETH But it wasn't what I wanted, Caryn. This, and and you, and your dad, this is what I wanted. ELIZABETH I didn't give up anything. I-I ELIZABETH I got it. ELIZABETH Is that where "she threw it all away for love" came from? The way you felt about me and my choices? CARYN I think so. ELIZABETH Oh ELIZABETH baby, I'm so sorry. ELIZABETH Do not ELIZABETH spill that. ELIZABETH Because that is-- that's so not true. I would have sacrificed anything to be with your dad, and never for an instant have considered it a sacrifice. CARYN I get that you would have done anything to be with Dad, but you guys are still crazy in love. What is the secret? ELIZABETH Well, for starters, we like each other. CARYN Of course you do. ELIZABETH When I wake up in the morning, and I see your dad lying next to me, or I hear him in here making breakfast, it makes me smile. ELIZABETH It's another day, and your dad is going to be a part of it ELIZABETH and that makes me happy. ELIZABETH If you can't wake up every morning and feel that way, it can be real hard to keep a marriage together. CARYN I could see that. ELIZABETH Just between you and me ELIZABETH it was your dad's idea, this Valentine's Day dance. ELIZABETH My idea of a perfect romantic evening is the two of us at home in our comfiest pajamas ELIZABETH a great meal, followed by a cup of hot chocolate ELIZABETH and a romantic movie on the TV. I'm gonna go give this to your dad. Do not spill that. ELIZABETH Wow, look at that. BRYCE Yes! Ha ha! BRYCE You're my good luck charm, hmm? BRYCE Yes! TOM What is that, three in a row for you now? BRYCE Yeah, I've got some good game today, huh? My personal best is like 239. TOM Wow. I don't think we've hit 239 with all of our scores added together. WILL Not even close. BRYCE Man, I haven't been bowling in forever. BRYCE Caryn was never really into it, so I was surprised when she-- BRYCE Hey, babe, babe, babe-- Don't. No BRYCE Come on, we've been through this. You're holding it wrong. That's why it's ending up in the gutter. Come on, focus, baby. I can't go through this with you every single time. BRYCE Back here. Come on, just here. Just focus, though. Sorry, guys. All right. BRYCE Okay, two feet together. You're gonna take three steps out, and let the ball go, okay? BRYCE Good, good, good Let it go-- WILL Oh, oh, oh, excellent! URSULA Aw, yeah. WILL And the bar plummets downward! TOM And a hamburger walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here." CARYN Oh, no TOM Tough crowd. But the number one walk-into-a-bar joke-- A horse trots in and the bartender looks up and says, "Why the long face?" BRYCE I don't get it. CARYN Because it was a horse. CARYN Get it? Long? BRYCE Oh okay. That's funny. TOM Hey, listen, uh TOM we're going to go to Pagliotti's and get something to eat. Why don't you come with? CARYN Oh, that sounds great! BRYCE Babe, do you mind if we don't? I'm just trying to stay away from carbs. CARYN Okay, um, then I will I'll see you at the office. TOM All right. CARYN Good game! TOM Yeah! BRYCE Nice meeting you. CARYN Bye! BRYCE Oh! CARYN What? TOM We’re gonna go, right? BRYCE Your collar. CARYN Thanks, sweetie. BRYCE When are you going to learn how to put on a coat, huh? WILL Is he trying to fix her collar? CARYN Thanks. WILL He is so not cool. TOM Come on, you guys, we just met him. URSULA What is she doing with that guy? WILL You could totally steal her from him, Tom. TOM And what kind of guy does that TOM huh? URSULA A knight in shining armor kind of guy. TOM Yeah, yeah. TOM See you guys at the restaurant. URSULA Yeah, see you. February 14th Valentine’s Day 33 days until Spring CARYN Oh Bryce, they're beautiful! BRYCE Happy Valentine's Day. BRYCE You look great. CARYN Thank you. BRYCE Hey, I was thinking, are you sure you want to stay in? CARYN Absolutely. I have a great night planned. I made your favorites, kale with cranberry and walnuts CARYN salmon, with a balsamic CARYN glaze BRYCE Wow. CARYN oven-roasted potatoes BRYCE Very nice. CARYN pecan pie, and I have CARYN the most romantic Valentine's Day movie ever. CARYN Do you like the rosemary? BRYCE Mm-hmm. AUSTIN The baby better have your eyes. BRYCE I've never known anybody to get so many magazines here. BRYCE This table's loose. PETER It was a wonderful evening! ELIZABETH Yeah. Oh, it was! PETER And it's not over yet. ELIZABETH Oh! ACTOR IN FILM she knew my heart better than I did myself ACTOR IN FILM and there was only one thing to say, it was all there ever was to say. "I love you." CARYN Tom! CARYN You're leaving! TOM Well, I have to, it's 5:00. TOM Good night. I reviewed the new numbers. TOM Business is up. CARYN I know. TOM I gotta admit, I wasn't convinced your plan would work. CARYN Well, it makes sense. Now that P.G.S. is more organized, you're all working saner hours CARYN so you have more time to rest, enjoy yourselves, recharge your batteries for when you are on the job. TOM Well, I am gonna miss my all-nighters. CARYN You're not in college anymore, Tom, and I am CARYN really excited to see what's going to happen with your company now that we've implemented these changes. TOM So how is it you're still working? CARYN Do as I say, not as I do. I'll walk out with you. Let me get my coat. TOM How was your Valentine's Day? CARYN Good. We just stayed in and watched a movie. TOM Yeah, me too. My favorite. CARYN Office Space? TOM No, my favorite romantic movie. CARYN Which is? TOM I don't know if I should tell you. It's pretty embarrassing. CARYN Well, you're definitely telling me now. TOM A Forever Kind of Love. CARYN That is my favorite movie ever. TOM Come on. CARYN Yeah, we watched it, too. CARYN Well, I did. TOM Cool. CARYN Can I ask you a question? TOM Sure. CARYN What did you think of Bryce? TOM Oh, um CARYN Sorry to put you on the spot like that, but my family and friends have known him for a couple of years, and I just wanted to get a fresh perspective. TOM Okay, uh TOM well, he seemed really focused and substantial, solid, uh and neat. Does he iron his jeans? CARYN He does. TOM Well, there you go. He’s TOM definitely marriage material. "Material." That sounds kind of offensive, doesn't it? CARYN I've never understood that phrase. TOM I'm sorry. CARYN Well, thank you. TOM Sure. Good night. CARYN Good night. MAN ON PA Dr. Pakowski to obstetrics. Dr. Pakowski to obstetrics. STEPHANIE Thanks for agreeing to be Austin's Lamaze back-up. Oh, here you go. CARYN Not a problem. It's part of the best friend job description. I do have to say CARYN that instructional video was pretty graphic. STEPHANIE Yeah, well, childbirth is not for the faint of heart. CARYN Which is why you are gonna rock it. STEPHANIE You parked on the street, right? CARYN Yes. STEPHANIE I'm that-a-way. CARYN Okay. STEPHANIE Okay. CARYN I love you. STEPHANIE Love you. CARYN Tom? CARYN Tom? CARYN Hi. TOM Hey. CARYN What are you doing here? TOM Uh, it's Uncle Harry. He fell and broke his leg. CARYN No TOM Did you want to see him? CARYN Oh, yes. TOM Well, he had his surgery, but, uh-- that he weathered fine-- but he's still in a lot of pain. CARYN Oh, I'm so sorry. TOM Well, it was kind of his own fault. He was trying to fix a smoke alarm that was on a stepladder that was way too low, and he fell, you know? TOM He should have called me to help him, but he's just always been so independent and self-contained. CARYN Yeah CARYN that sounds familiar. CARYN Aw TOM I love that about him, though. TOM Always growing and taking on new challenges. It's really inspirational. CARYN It is. HARRY Cora HARRY Hey Tom. TOM Hey, hey. HARRY I had a dream about Cora just now. She looked so beautiful. We were in the old house, in the kitchen, and she was pouring us some tea. You remember how graceful HARRY she looked when she did that? The way she HARRY held the teapot just so? I loved her for that. TOM How you feeling, Uncle TOM Harry? HARRY I feel like I can't wait to get out of here. TOM Thattaboy. HARRY Hi. CARYN How are you feeling? HARRY So you finally asked her out. Good for you. TOM She's just visiting, Uncle Harry. HARRY Mm-hmm. HARRY Yeah, right. TOM Sorry about that. He's an incorrigible matchmaker. CARYN Mm, I noticed. Who was, uh, Cora? TOM His wife. My aunt. Um, they were married for 49 years. CARYN Wow. TOM Yeah, um, she passed a few years ago. CARYN Oh, I'm sorry. TOM No. No, it was good, it was time. He knew it better than anyone and realized he had to let her go. CARYN Well, he CARYN still really has it going on. TOM Oh, yeah. The opposite sex still puts a twinkle in his eye. You know TOM I think a big reason for that is because he loved my aunt so much. He loved feeling that way about somebody. You know, it's probably not in the cards for him, but he'd love to feel that way again. TOM Boy, they sure set the bar high. TOM I guess I TOM I should get back to him, but, uh, I'll see you in the office? CARYN Okay. TOM Okay. TOM Caryn! TOM Hey. Listen I wasn't entirely honest with you the other day, when you asked me what I thought about Bryce. CARYN Oh. TOM I mean, I meant what I said. He does seem solid and the kind of guy a woman would marry. TOM Is he the kind of guy you should marry? CARYN What do you mean? TOM What I mean is he's got you, but does he get you? TOM You're smart, and fun and super good at what you do TOM And obviously, I only met him once, so what do I know? But I had to ask myself, based on that one and only impression TOM does he really appreciate how special you are TOM and how lucky he is? TOM Are you his Cora? Does he love you like that? TOM Is he gonna love you like that for 49 years? TOM And are you gonna love him like that back? TOM Because I know it's ridiculously old-fashioned to believe this, but I do believe it-- the only love worth having and wanting is that forever kind. TOM Do you have that with Bryce? TOM I'm sorry, but you asked the question. I just wanted to give you my full and honest answer. CARYN Thank you. TOM Okay. TOM All right, now I'm leaving. March 6th 14 days until Spring PETER You know, that smells so fantastic that I think I need a little taste. CARYN Ew! PETER You have the most uncanny timing. CARYN Timing is not necessary with you guys. You are always canoodling. ELIZABETH You look nice. CARYN I'm having dinner tonight with Bryce at Hearts of Palm. ELIZABETH Oh? PETER Oh-ho. CARYN I just stopped by to say thank you. ELIZABETH Thanks for what? CARYN For being wonderful parents. TOM You see? I always told you we raised a very intelligent daughter. ELIZABETH Even with all the canoodling? CARYN Maybe because of it. CARYN It is super annoying, for sure, but it's truly lovely. It's inspirational. ELIZABETH That's Thanks. CARYN I love you guys and I just wanted to tell you that. ELIZABETH So, dinner with Bryce CARYN Come on. CARYN Group hug. Thank you so much for everything. BRYCE Hmm I don't know. BRYCE Maybe I'll just go for straight ice cream. BRYCE Uh no, no, no, no, no. BRYCE I don’t know. What are you going to order? CARYN Um, I don't I don't know. BRYCE What? CARYN We need to talk. BRYCE Okay. About what? CARYN About us getting married, this whole. CARYN "Ring by Spring" thing. CARYN I love you, Bryce. I really truly do. BRYCE Aw I love you, too, babe. CARYN But I am trying to make CARYN something happen that isn't supposed to happen, all because of some fortune teller's prediction. BRYCE And BRYCE wait, sorry, what-what isn't supposed to happen? CARYN Us getting married. Well, me getting married. CARYN It's not in the cards for me. CARYN That's what the prediction said, and I can see that now. And I know this comes as a surprise to you CARYN because it definitely comes as a surprise to me CARYN and I am so sorry. BRYCE Well, to be honest with you, I mean, I leapt into this because I really do care about you, but BRYCE in my heart BRYCE of hearts, I think my initial instinct was right. You're not really marriage-- CARYN Oh CARYN .please don't say "material." Look, marriage is CARYN a beautiful thing, but if you are going to take that leap, and you are going to wear that ring, you need to be committed, all the way, forever, just like Mom and Dad, Stephanie and Austin, and-and some other people that I've met. BRYCE Sorry, I just to be clear, we're breaking up? CARYN Yeah CARYN and I'm sorry. CARYN And even though we aren't meant to be together CARYN you are going to find someone wonderful, and she is going to be so lucky. March 15th 5 days until Spring TOM & EMPLOYEES Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! TOM & EMPLOYEES Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! TOM & EMPLOYEES Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn is a star! Caryn! Caryn! Caryn is a star! TOM & EMPLOYEES Caryn! Caryn! Caryn is a star! TOM & EMPLOYEES Caryn! Caryn! Caryn is a star! TOM & EMPLOYEES Caryn! Caryn! Caryn is a star! Caryn! Caryn! URSULA So, even though you're leaving us, you're still going to bowl with us, right? WILL You're on the fast track to earn our "least improved" trophy WILL this year. URSULA A highly coveted honor. CARYN I would love to. WILL Awesome. WILL Time to refuel. URSULA Definitely. Thanks again. CARYN Aw Hey! TOM Hey. CARYN This was so thoughtful of you. TOM No, it was the whole gang's idea. TOM You really made an impression around here. See, we needed a grown-up to come in and whip us into shape, so thank you for that. TOM As you can see TOM I did not get a piece of cake! CARYN Do you want my piece of cake? TOM "I will burn this place to the ground." "I will set fire to the building." Thank you. TOM Listen, I just wanted to thank you once again for everything you've done for us. CARYN Oh, of course. This has been really great. Um, I do want to say, though, that you shouldn't use me as a benchmark for what it means to be a grown-up. CARYN I mean, I'm just beginning to figure out who I am and what I want. TOM What? TOM It's probably not the best time to get married then. CARYN It isn't, and I'm-I'm not. Bryce and I broke up again. TOM I'm sorry. CARYN No, it's okay. It was my decision. So all is good. TOM Wait, you didn't break up with him because of what I said to you, did you? CARYN No, no, no CARYN you just channeled back to me exactly what I was thinking and feeling, and I thank you for that. TOM Well, you're welcome for that. And are you free for dinner then? CARYN Tom you're amazing. CARYN But I've actually CARYN sworn off the relationship business for a while. TOM Well, I'm sorry to hear that. It's gonna break a lot of hearts. CARYN I doubt it. Good night, Tom. CARYN Hey! CARYN You are a truly wonderful guy, and if things were different-- TOM They are different. You're single now. CARYN But if there's anything CARYN I've learned over these past few months, it's that I'm not good at love. TOM I don't believe that. CARYN It's true. CARYN I mean, maybe in the short term, I'm okay, but in the long run? TOM So what, just friends then? CARYN Good friends. TOM You're still going to come bowling with us, though, right? CARYN Yes. I will see you at the bowling alley. TOM Okay. TOM Good night, Caryn. CARYN Good night. CARYN This whole experience forced me to look at my life CARYN for maybe the first time ever, and ask CARYN some really important questions. CARYN Who am I? What do I want? Where am I going? GREGG And what did you come up with? CARYN I mean, I have great friends. Thank you guys so very much. CARYN I have-- I have wonderful parents, if they’re CARYN slightly exasperating. I've got a great CARYN job. I mean, I am going exactly where I'm supposed to be going. And if I'm destined to go there alone CARYN I'm okay with that. STEPHANIE Caryn, you are 30 years old. I mean, how can you possibly know that you are destined to be alone? CARYN I can't know that, but Madame Rue did. GREGG She's a prank fortune teller GREGG that a charity fund-raising committee hired. GREGG She can't really see into the future. CARYN Oh, yeah? Well, how's CARYN that big new store you just moved into? CARYN And you, are you faking? CARYN Is that a pillow under there? You said it yourself. CARYN I may not be destined for marriage. STEPHANIE I may have said that, but it doesn't mean it's what I want for you. CARYN It's okay, guys! CARYN It really, truly is! March 19th The Eve of Spring HARRY The thin edge. HARRY What? TOM Maybe she forgot. HARRY She didn't forget. She'll be here. CARYN And a grapefruit. Thank you. MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN Where is it? MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN Tell me you left it at home. CARYN I'm sorry, how do I know you? MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN Oh I'm sorry. CARYN Thank you. CARYN Madame Rue! Madame Rue, please stop! CARYN Wait! CARYN Stop! CARYN Madame Rue? It is you, right? CARYN Hi! CARYN Do you remember me? MADAME RUE Of course I remember you. CARYN Okay, what did you just mean when you said, "Where is it?" MADAME RUE Ah. Take your gloves off. MADAME RUE Give me your hands. MADAME RUE Give me your hands. MADAME RUE It's the same thing. CARYN What's the same thing? MADAME RUE It's the same thing. CARYN What is the same thing? MADAME RUE "You will receive a ring by spring, or you will never marry." MADAME RUE I saw the same thing. CARYN Same prediction. MADAME RUE No, no, no, no, no. MADAME RUE I do not predict anything. I just see it. CARYN I-I-I don't understand. MADAME RUE At that fundraiser MADAME RUE I saw you with a ring before Spring. MADAME RUE Well, it's Spring, in spite of this awful weather. MADAME RUE But there's no ring, is there? CARYN So I'll never get married. That's fine. MADAME RUE Fine? Why should it be fine? CARYN Well, it has to be. That's my destiny. MADAME RUE What? MADAME RUE You are a young and vibrant woman with your whole life ahead of you! Why would you just throw it away? CARYN "Throw it away"? Why would you say that? CARYN Please don't say that! CARYN What? MADAME RUE Here. CARYN What are you doing? MADAME RUE If MADAME RUE I have doomed you to a life alone, which was never my intention, the least thing I can do is to give you a refund. CARYN Wait, so you weren't saying I'm destined to be single? MADAME RUE I said I saw you with a ring. I'm sorry you didn't get it. HARRY Nice, Ursula! TOM So close. URSULA So bad. TOM Wheel it over a little bit. HARRY Next time. URSULA All right, yeah. You guys want anything from the snack bar? HARRY Uh, a lemonade for me. TOM Uh, Cracklin' Fun, if they have it. URSULA You got it. HARRY The minute you stop hoping she'll come, that's the minute she'll come. TOM That makes no sense. HARRY Well, life's like that. HARRY Quit being a lovesick Romeo. You've got a smart phone, use it. TOM I’m fine, Uncle Harry. HARRY Don't settle for fine! HARRY Well, look who's here. CARYN Hi! HARRY Nice to see you again. CARYN Oh, I'm so sorry I'm late. HARRY Oh TOM Better late than never. WILL Glad you're here! WILL We need someone to re-level the playing field. URSULA Yeah, Tom's bowled, like URSULA three strikes already, so TOM I don't know what it is, I'm totally off my game today. CARYN Ah TOM Oh, it's heading a little west. URSULA Whoo! TOM Nice! Good ball. TOM Are you okay? CARYN Not really. TOM Bad day? CARYN Yeah. TOM Is there anything we can do to help? CARYN No, I'll be fine. TOM Maybe this'll cheer you up. CARYN That's your box. TOM No, this is my gift. From me to you. CARYN Thank you. TOM What? TOM What are you doing? Excuse me. TOM Seriously? WILL Whoo! It's not bad. TOM What was that? WILL It's my new style. TOM Well played, well played. TOM Did you see that? CARYN I'm sorry it took me so long to figure this out. TOM You're here now? CARYN I am. WILL Um, are we WILL bowling or what? Get a lane. HARRY Whoa-ho-ho! HARRY Let me show you turkeys how to do it. URSULA Oh, excuse me. HARRY Stand aside. URSULA After you.