BELLY_BAG CROWD DUCKS JOSIE KID KIDS MR_GUS MR_TURNBUCKLE POPULAR_GIRL_1 POPULAR_GIRL_2 POPULAR_GIRL_3 PRINCIPAL_HARRY PROPELLER_MAN UNCLE_GRANDPA JOSIE Oh yeah! Eh-kay girl, let’s see those duck lips! Okay, let’s see what we have here. Mm, no. Eyes closed, great! Next! Oh. Oh, nice thumb, Josie! Next! Yes!! The duck lips that launched a thousand likes! Now to upload it to Facehole. Come on, come on, come on… Yes!! Like me… like me. Like me, like me! Gross! UNCLE GRANDPA Good mornin’.! JOSIE Uncle Grandpa! You have got to help, me!! UNCLE GRANDPA With what? JOSIE I need to take a really a great ducklips selfie so I can finally get a like on Facehole! Just look around you. You see these posters? These are the most beautiful, popular people in the world. And, you know what they all have in common? MR GUS Umm… JOSIE I’ll tell you! It’s the lips!! So plump. So perfect. Duck lips are like this!! You just squeeze them together. I can’t do that. My lips totally fail. They’re so thin. They’re practically transparent! What am I gonna do? UNCLE GRANDPA Duck lips, eh? Why didn’t you say so? BELLY BAG Wait, Uncle Grandpa! Are you sure you know what you’re doing? UNCLE GRANDPA Tut tut, Belly Bag! I know exactly what I believe I might be doing! BELLY BAG MR GUS UNCLE GRANDPA Josie? Say something, Josie! JOSIE I did it. I got a “like”. O-m-g! I’m totally blowing up! I’ve got to get to school! He he hee! I got duck lips, I got duck lips. MR GUS It’s four in the morning. JOSIE Now, time for a dramatic entrance. KIDS JOSIE Uh! The popular girls! JOSIE Hey guys, um, I was wondering if you saw my duck lips on Facehole… It got like a ton of likes. POPULAR GIRL 1 Wow, 99 likes, pretty good. But not good enough! You need at least like 100 if you wanna be really popular. Like us. So anyway, good luck with that or whatever. JOSIE UNCLE GRANDPA Good morning! JOSIE Uncle Grandpa? UNCLE GRANDPA So how are those duck lips treating ya? JOSIE I only have 99 likes on Facehole. UNCLE GRANDPA Uhhhh? JOSIE Don’t you get it? I need like 100 to be really popular. UNCLE GRANDPA I have no idea what you’re talking about. JOSIE Uncle Grandpa, I need you to make my duck lips bigger and better so I can get triple digit likes! UNCLE GRANDPA Oh, okay! Let me just do a little of this, and a little of that. JOSIE Awesome! UNCLE GRANDPA Not bad if I don’t say so myself. JOSIE Let me test the waters. Omg, omg, omg! Awesome!! Oh my gosh! I did it! I’m finally popular! Thanks Uncle Grandpa. UNCLE GRANDPA Of course, Jos- MR TURNBUCKLE As you all know, the Picture of Dorian Gray was your required reading for homework for this month. Ahem, Josie, what’re you doing?! JOSIE Do you mind Mr. Turnbuckle? I’m trying to take a selfie right now. MR TURNBUCKLE Don’t you give me any lip! JOSIE Um, that’s, the point. MR TURNBUCKLE Alright missy. You can see yourself to the door! JOSIE Okay, whatever you say Mr. Turnbuckle. MR TURNBUCKLE You come back when you can show some respect for my class!! JOSIE Whatever. Your class has like zero likes on Facehole. Who would respect that?! Let’s see what my likes are at now. What?! Only 3000? That’s so weak sauce! I’m gonna need another lip job. Uncle Grandpa… UNCLE GRANDPA Hey Josie! Aren’t you supposed to be in 19th Century Lit right now? JOSIE Right…well, Mr. Turnbuckle kicked me out of class. UNCLE GRANDPA He did?! But why? JOSIE He kicked me out because… I guess he just wasn’t a fan of my duck lips. He said they weren’t big enough! UNCLE GRANDPA I can’t believe teachers these days. JOSIE Yeah, so I was wondering if you can make my lips a bit bigger so I can get back in class. I don’t want to fail. UNCLE GRANDPA Anything for your education, Josie. Here goes nothin’. JOSIE Omg! Omg! Omg!! My lips are amazing!! Wait till my fans see these babies!! UNCLE GRANDPA Ye-uh huh huh huh. With those lips you’re gonna be vale-duck-torian. JOSIE Yah, uh, okay, bye! Let’s test these bad boys out. Okay, upload upload! Whoa!! I’m like seriously blowing up right now. 5.6 million likes?! Ahhh!!! I’m like the most popular girl in the world!!! Wait till the girls hear about this. POPULAR GIRL 1 That’s her, that’s Josie from Facehole! JOSIE Huh? KIDS PRINCIPAL HARRY Awww, coffee. KIDS POPULAR GIRL 1 Principal Harry! PRINCIPAL HARRY Huh? You!! My office!! Now!!! JOSIE Yeah, one sec. PRINCIPAL HARRY Josie, according to your file, you used to be a top student and over achiever with a 4.0 GPA. What happened to you!? Why are you flushing your education down the toilet!!? JOSIE Huh? Oh. I’m like super-popular on Facehole now, and I don’t really need an education, okay? PRINCIPAL HARRY You’re wrong!! An education is vital if you want to be successful in life!! JOSIE Um, I’m already successful. I have like tons of fans and they’re all waiting to see me outside. I’m like mega uber internationally well known. PRINCIPAL HARRY Mm? CROWD We love you Josie! You’re the best, Josie!! Please take all my money!! You’re so successful I wanna be just like you!! JOSIE So yeah, your school is like dumb or whatever, and like, obso-obsoll-old. PRINCIPAL HARRY That does it! That is the last straw!! You are expelled!! JOSIE Yeah, well, read, my, lips. PRINCIPAL HARRY Whuh-uh-whuh-whuddya-uh-whu-whuddya mean? JOSIE Man that guy has issues, whatevs! This just means I can have more time for my fans, and maintain my Facehole reputation. Speaking of fans, I wonder how many I have now. Whoa! 3.5 billion!? Uh… CROWD JOSIE CROWD JOSIE Thank you! But please, no photography, I prefer to take my own. As you all know, I’m Josie. The most popular girl in the world, pretty much. I just wanted to thank you all for the likes and stuff on my selfies. I know you wish you could be as cool as me, but that is not gonna happen, ever. So it’s probably a better use of your time to continue idolizing me! DUCKS JOSIE Like I was saying- DUCKS JOSIE Get out of, here! Sorry about that. Whatever, I’ll just finish my speech later! Ahhh!! Help!! Omg somebody help me!! Help! CROWD BELLY BAG Uh, Uncle Grandpa do you hear that? UNCLE GRANDPA You mean stomach growling? I haven’t eaten since breakfast. I’m starving. BELLY BAG No, it’s coming from outside. It sounds like chaos and pandemonium!! CROWD UNCLE GRANDPA Hmm? Let’s see. CROWD UNCLE GRANDPA Yeah, sounds pretty horrible. Nothing we can do about it. We’re trapped in here, remember? BELLY BAG Uh, Uncle Grandpa, your other arm. UNCLE GRANDPA Huh? Oh yeah!! I’m free! Now let’s see what all the fuss is about. Whoa!! Where did all these ducks come from?! BELLY BAG I think it’s Josie’s duck lips. They must be making them think she’s an actual duck! UNCLE GRANDPA Huh huh, that’s ridiculous Belly Bag! JOSIE Uncle Grandpa, help! It’s these duck lips! They must make them think I’m an actual duck! UNCLE GRANDPA Guess you were right. Hang on Josie, I’m comin’! JOSIE Uncle Grandpa, hurry!! Thanks so much, Uncle Grandpa! Hurry we gotta get somewhere safe so I can take a selfie! UNCLE GRANDPA Sounds good! BELLY BAG Ducks at 12 o clock! UNCLE GRANDPA Belly Bag what are you talking about it’s 2pm. Oh. Uh oh! JOSIE Do something! Can’t you go faster!? They’re like, almost here and stuff! UNCLE GRANDPA Sorry, my propeller only has one speed. PROPELLER MAN It’s a living. JOSIE Ahhhh!!! UNCLE GRANDPA Oh no!! BELLY BAG She needs to stop making the duck lips so the ducks won’t think she’s a duck. UNCLE GRANDPA You’re absolutely right Belly Bag. Josie! You have to stop making the duck lips! Just smile normally! JOSIE I can’t do that! I’ll lose all my followers!! UNCLE GRANDPA I think that’s happening already! KID UNCLE GRANDPA Do it Jos’! JOSIE Okay… Nnnghh! I can’t do it! UNCLE GRANDPA Try harder, darn it! JOSIE UNCLE GRANDPA Yeah! That’s it! JOSIE UNCLE GRANDPA Good, now hold it! And flaunt it! Now snap a selfie to really get the word out! DUCKS POPULAR GIRL 1 Ahhhhhhh! POPULAR GIRL 2 Ahhhhhhh! POPULAR GIRL 3 Ahhhhhhh! POPULAR GIRL 1 See that girls? Josie got rid of those ducks by making that hideous face. Pretty cool. See ya. UNCLE GRANDPA Quite a day, huh? JOSIE That’s for sure, Uncle Grandpa. UNCLE GRANDPA So, are you ready to face life without duck lips? JOSIE You know, Uncle Grandpa. I think I am ready. I see now that my dream of being popular ended up turning my life into a total nightmare!!! UNCLE GRANDPA Mm hmm. UNCLE GRANDPA Oh! Family Tree!