CARNIVAL_GUY MR_GUS MR_GUS_COUSIN PIZZA_STEVE SEAL TINY_MIRACLE UNCLE_GRANDPA TINY MIRACLE Ladies & gentlemen! Live and direct from our oven, Please welcome the master of observational comedy: UNCLE GRANDPA This is gonna to be good. PIZZA STEVE Pizza Steve! UNCLE GRANDPA PIZZA STEVE Yo everybody. Great to be here. Hey, what’s the deal with these free pizza tables they give you every time you order a pizza? I like free furniture just as much as the next guy but could you throw in a set of chairs next time? Heh, am I right? UNCLE GRANDPA PIZZA STEVE Oo, here’s a classic: What’s tall, green, boring, and is making a sandwich right now? You got it! It’s mr gus!! UNCLE GRANDPA That is so true! MR GUS Oh yeah? I have a joke. Pizza Steve is so annoying, that spore-forming bacteria refuse to grow on him even though he doesn’t stay refrigerated! You do know pizza’s supposed to be refrigerated, right? UNCLE GRANDPA Uh, say mr gus, uh, I think it’s best if we leave all the funny business to this hilarious slice right here. PIZZA STEVE Yeah, let Pizza Steve show you how it’s done! What’s the deal with this couch? Is it made for giants or something? I mean I need a ladder every time I want to watch TV! UNCLE GRANDPA PIZZA STEVE What’s the deal with this old English phone booth? This thing would be useful, if the Queen wasn’t hoggin’ it 24/7! UNCLE GRANDPA PIZZA STEVE And what’s the deal with this giant medieval catapult? Who even uses these things anymore? UNCLE GRANDPA MR GUS My head. UNCLE GRANDPA MR GUS COUSIN Uhhhhhhh. UNCLE GRANDPA Are you ok mr gus? MR GUS COUSIN Uhhhhhh... uh huh. UNCLE GRANDPA Oh yeah? How many fingers am I holding up? MR GUS COUSIN Uhh… nineteen and three quarter. UNCLE GRANDPA Hmm… correct! He’s totally fine. In fact, he seems much happier than usual. MR GUS COUSIN Ahyuck, ahyuck, ahyuck, ahyuck UNCLE GRANDPA That’s a good one mr gus! I guess you’re pretty funny after all! PIZZA STEVE Woah, Uncle G! I thought you were leaving the funny to Pizza Steve!? UNCLE GRANDPA Don’t worry. There’s plenty of funny to go around. MR GUS COUSIN Say, any of you fellers want to go to the county fair? Ahyuck! PIZZA STEVE The county fair? County fairs, are for country bumpkins with no purpose in life! Am I right, Uncle G? UNCLE GRANDPA I’ll go! MR GUS COUSIN County Fair! County Fair! C’mon y’all! UNCLE GRANDPA MR GUS COUSIN Dip! Dip! Dip! Dip! UNCLE GRANDPA PIZZA STEVE Oh uh, Uncle G? UNCLE GRANDPA This better be good, Pizza Steve. mr gus is on fire right now. PIZZA STEVE Whaaat’s the deal with bananas? I mean, just look at these things! Look at ‘em! What’s the deal with these things? Am I right? MR GUS COUSIN UNCLE GRANDPA Now the pie’s dripping all over his face! MR GUS COUSIN UNCLE GRANDPA MR GUS COUSIN PIZZA STEVE Yo, Uncle G! UNCLE GRANDPA Huh? PIZZA STEVE Wha-what’s the deal with this stupid balloon game? They want me to drop ten bucks to pop a few balloons? Why don’t I just flush my wallet down the toilet instead? MR GUS COUSIN Ah!! Ah!! Ah!! Choo!! PIZZA STEVE Am I right? Whoa!! CARNIVAL GUY We’ve got a winner! UNCLE GRANDPA You’re the master of corn dog comedy, MR GUS COUSIN Aw shucks. Who me? PIZZA STEVE This is not good. Uncle g thinks mr gus is the funniest thing on the planet. Pizza Steve might as well be invisible. And none of this would have ever have happened if Pizza Steve hadn’t hit mr gus in the head with that catapult. Wait a minute, that’s it! If I whack Mr gus hard enough on the head again, mr gus might go back to his normal, boring self! And then, Pizza Steve would be back on top of the funny food chain. It’s time to play ball! Alright alright. PIZZA STEVE Yo bros! Time for the bonus round! PIZZA STEVE Hold up! Back to normal, Mr gus. C’mon c’mon c’mon. MR GUS COUSIN PIZZA STEVE It worked! Normal Mr gus is back! MR GUS COUSIN Cotton candy beard, y’all! It’s pink. UNCLE GRANDPA Cotton candy beard. Mr gus, you are, without a doubt, a comedy genius! PIZZA STEVE Kay maybe it didn’t work. Better kick it up a notch. MR GUS COUSIN Bump bump bumper cars! PIZZA STEVE That’s right, Mr gus! Okay now get ready! Here comes Uncle G! UNCLE GRANDPA Bump bump bump bumper cars!! PIZZA STEVE We gotta streamline for maximum impact! Put your head forward and down!! MR GUS COUSIN H’yuck h’yuck, okay! PIZZA STEVE A little lower! Perfect. MR GUS COUSIN Bump bump bump… UNCLE GRANDPA Bump bump bump … MR GUS COUSIN Bump bump bump! UNCLE GRANDPA Bump bump bump! UNCLE GRANDPA Bump bump bump! MR GUS COUSIN Bump bump bump! PIZZA STEVE Oh, mr Gus? PIZZA STEVE Alright, it’s go-time. MR GUS COUSIN Huh! Do it again. Hi Pizza Man UNCLE GRANDPA MR GUS COUSIN UNCLE GRANDPA You’re the king of comedy Mr gus. PIZZA STEVE It’s no use. Mr gus is going to steal the show forever. Well! I guess this is it. No point sticking around the rv anymore if Uncle g doesn’t think Pizza Steve is the funniest. I’m leaving forever, Uncle g. UNCLE GRANDPA Hang on, Pizza Steve. Mr gus is about to do something funny. MR GUS COUSIN UNCLE GRANDPA You are one of a kind! MR GUS Hmm. How long was I out for? UNCLE GRANDPA mr gus! You’re two of a kind! MR GUS Nah. There’s only one mr gus. This is my cousin Nathan from Florida. He’s a professional cartoon comedian UNCLE GRANDPA Ohhh! No wonder he’s so funny! MR GUS Anyway, he was just visiting for the afternoon. I gotta take him back to the bus station now. I hope you guys showed him a good time while I was in that coma. PIZZA STEVE Uhhhh… heh heh heh. UNCLE GRANDPA Aw, nuts. UNCLE GRANDPA Good mornin & welcome to episode 6 of Fix That rv. I’m your host, Uncle Grandpa! Now today we’re going to do something we’ve never done on the show before. Fix the rv! Let’s go! Hmm. A nail in the tire. Don’t let that get your spirits down, builders! To achieve greatness, we must allow ourselves to start over. Now the most important step in rv repair is starting with a strong foundation. Belly Bag, would you kindly do the honors? Spectacular! After we’ve powdered our noses, we’re gonna build the structure. Let’s go check out what the boys have been working on over here. Pizza Steve, whatcha workin’ on down here, buddy? PIZZA STEVE My tan, dude! UNCLE GRANDPA Is that a 2x4 you got there? PIZZA STEVE No idea man, ask Mr gus UNCLE GRANDPA Mr gus is that a 2x4 you’re working with? MR GUS Sure. UNCLE GRANDPA Nice! Keep up the great work boys! The walls are going up on our rv right now, but we need a good sealant to make sure we don’t get any water damage. I highligh recommend “Big Junior’s Deluxe Baby Seal Coat” to do the trick. SEAL Arr arr arr! Arr arr arr! UNCLE GRANDPA Looks like a pretty tight seal, if you ask me. Mr gus would you be a doll and grab that 2x4? MR GUS You mean this wrench? UNCLE GRANDPA Yeah that’s great. Hey Mr gus, can you hand me that 2x4 that’s right next to you? MR GUS This is a saw, Uncle Grandpa. UNCLE GRANDPA Even better, mr gus UNCLE GRANDPA Mmm. Mr gus will you pass the 2x4? MR GUS Mm hmm. Hmmm? Uhh, here’s that 2x4 you asked for Uncle Grandpa. UNCLE GRANDPA Mr gus, you are an angel. MR GUS UNCLE GRANDPA All fixed! Well it looks like the rv is in tip-top shape. Thanks for watching, and helping me Fix That rv! Now let’s take this baby for a spin.