BELLY_BAG BELLY_BONE BRONTO CASHIER CAVEMAN_1 CAVEMAN_2 CAVEMAN_3 CAVEMAN_4 CROWD DINO FLIGHT_ATTENDANT MR MR_GUS NASA_GUY PIZZA_STEVE PRESIDENT PTERODACTYL UNCLE_GRANDPA UNCLE_GRANDPA_2 WEIRDMAN CAVEMAN 1 Huh? CAVEMAN 2 Huh? CAVEMAN 3 Huh? CAVEMAN 1 Uh! Uh?! Uhhhhh! Me hunnngeee! CAVEMAN 2 Uh! Uh?! Uhhhhh! Me hunnngeee! CAVEMAN 3 Uh! Uh?! Uhhhhh! Me hunnngeee! CAVEMAN 2 Uh! No yum-num! Oh! CAVEMAN 1 Yum-num! CAVEMAN 3 Yum-num! CAVEMAN 1 Yum-num! Uh? CAVEMAN 2 Yum-num! Uh? CAVEMAN 3 Yum-num! Uh? UNCLE GRANDPA UNCLE GRANDPA Goohhh moooneeeeg!! Goohhhh moooneeeeg!! Goohhhh!! Moooneeeeg!! Ohhhh. That feels much better. Good morning! You happy, friendly cavefellows, you. CAVEMAN 1 Meeeee!! Hunnnngeeeee!! CAVEMAN 2 Meeeee!! Hunnnngeeeee!! CAVEMAN 3 Meeeee!! Hunnnngeeeee!! UNCLE GRANDPA So you guys are hungry! Why didn’t you say so? I’ve got just the thing. Belly Bone, three of your finest roasted giant weasel haunches please. BELLY BONE You got it, Uncle Caveman. CAVEMAN 1 CAVEMAN 2 CAVEMAN 3 UNCLE GRANDPA Tasty stuff. Ahhhhhhhh! Can’t help the hungry on an empty stomach, right boys? UNCLE GRANDPA Whoa! Easy guys. I’m sure Belly Bone has more of that weasel haunch! BELLY BONE Actually Uncle C, I’m all out! UNCLE GRANDPA Uh oh! Don’t worry guys, I’ll cook up a nice breakfast for ya! Hmm… What’s this? An egg! The most perfect breakfasty food of all and it’s right there on that bush! Hmm. Just out of reach. UNCLE GRANDPA 2 Yeah?! UNCLE GRANDPA Can you hand me that egg? UNCLE GRANDPA 2 No problem, Uncle Caveman. UNCLE GRANDPA Thanks giant Uncle Caveman! Now to crack this and sizzle up some breakfast. MR GUS Okay, what just happened? UNCLE GRANDPA You’ve been born! Congratulations! MR GUS Yay. UNCLE GRANDPA Good morning! I’m your Uncle Caveman! And your name is breakfast! MR GUS Breakfast?! UNCLE GRANDPA Yeah, don’t you smell all those flavors? . That’s the sweet scent of your flesh, roastin’ up those for hungry gents MR GUS What the? UNCLE GRANDPA Now we’re cookin! Just sit tight, breakfast. It’s time to flip you over. MR GUS Oh no. UNCLE GRANDPA Breakfast, come back! MR GUS Stop calling me that! UNCLE GRANDPA That breakfast sure makes a fast break. CAVEMAN 3 UNCLE GRANDPA Okay guys I’ll catch your meal! Ooofff! BELLY BONE Ahhhhh! UNCLE GRANDPA Promise! MR GUS These square tires don’t make for a very smooth ride. UNCLE GRANDPA You know it’s a shame you’re going to be savagely devoured by hungry cavemen cause you’d make a fantastic RV driver. MR GUS Well perhaps I’d be able to drive better if I could actually see through the windshield! UNCLE GRANDPA Perhaps. MR GUS UNCLE GRANDPA Wow! MR GUS Huh?! UNCLE GRANDPA You run pretty fast for a newborn! MR GUS What is that thing? UNCLE GRANDPA Oh, this sweet puppy? This is my Giant Realistic Flying Saber Tooth Tiger. MR GUS Why chase me when you can just cook that? UNCLE GRANDPA What?! You crazy? She’s my best friend! I only have one rule that I live by: I do not cook my friends! MR GUS Well then why don’t we just be friends? UNCLE GRANDPA Friends with food? That’s rich! That’s like if I made friends with a slice of pizza or something. DINO Hey man, what’s your problem with getting eaten? It’s the cycle of life. Deal with iiiiiiiiit! MR GUS Ahhh! PIZZA STEVE Cameo! Hmmmp! UNCLE GRANDPA You can swim too? I’m impressed. Ooooh! I caught a fat, juicy one! MR GUS UNCLE GRANDPA Yaaaarrrrghhh!! Now stay right there, I’m gonna catch you now! Sorry, but I gave my word to those cavemen I just met. MR GUS UNCLE GRANDPA Hmmm. Breakfast, right here! Look! Hey wait! Where the heck is that guy? Hey! Listen, it’s not personal, it’s just business. MR GUS Get outta my hair, will ya?! Phew! UNCLE GRANDPA Ehem! Going up? MR GUS Ahhhh! UNCLE GRANDPA Breakfast? What are the odds of us being on the same flight? FLIGHT ATTENDANT I’m sorry sir, we’re all out of pretzels. UNCLE GRANDPA Aw man, every time! MR GUS Listen, there’s gotta be something else you can feed those dumb cavemen. UNCLE GRANDPA Oh yeah? Like what? MR GUS I’m not quite sure, but if you stop chasing me I can help you think of something. UNCLE GRANDPA Really? You’d do that for me? Wow breakfast, you’re really a stand up guy. I could just kiss you! MR GUS Come on now. Get off’a me. Stop it. You don’t- PTERODACTYL Ew! UNCLE GRANDPA MR GUS UNCLE GRANDPA Hey, Breakfast! Get up lazy bones! MR GUS Hey! What was that for?! UNCLE GRANDPA Don’t look at me, look at those hungry cavemen. MR GUS Uncle Caveman! Duck! UNCLE GRANDPA Whoa! You really had my back there! You’d make a super tough body guard! MR GUS Not if they eat me first! We need to make a run for it! This should do. UNCLE GRANDPA Wow! I had no idea dinosaurs could breath fire. MR GUS This decoy should buy us some time in order to escape. Meanwhile, I’ll pose as a caveman which will distract customs long enough to get our passports. Then we skip town for 6 months—What the?! UNCLE GRANDPA Mm. So delicious. I’m sorry, Breakfast. I still have some smaller chunks left. Think you can make another Dino decoy? MR GUS Great! Now there’s nothing we can do to get out of this mess! UNCLE GRANDPA Or is there? MR GUS Well, is there?! UNCLE GRANDPA I don’t know. I was asking you. MR GUS Actually, there might still be a way out of this. UNCLE GRANDPA Or is there? MR GUS Yes! UNCLE GRANDPA Cowabunga! UNCLE GRANDPA Good morning! UNCLE GRANDPA I know I promised you a delicious dinosaur earlier, but I got you something even better! And a whole lot sweeter. I present: delicious dino nuggets! A healthy alternative to dinosaur meat. And to add a little flavor, you can dip it in special tar tar sauce. Okay! Here comes the big bad dino-SAUR! CAVEMAN 3 UNCLE GRANDPA Good, right? CAVEMAN 3 Mmm! UNCLE GRANDPA Dig in, fellas! MR GUS Think they’ll mind that there’s no nutritional value in this stuff? UNCLE GRANDPA Nah! The more they eat the less they’ll think about it. Wait! That gives me a great idea! CROWD PTERODACTYL How may I take your order, sir? CAVEMAN 4 Two of Dino Nuggets. PTERODACTYL Here you go! CAVEMAN 4 Uhhh! Ughhh? UNCLE GRANDPA Now that we’re friends for life, I’m really glad you convinced me not to cook you, Breakfast. MR GUS Ah-ah-ah, I told you that’s not my name. Check the nametag. UNCLE GRANDPA MR GUS?! I had no idea that was your name, buddy! MR GUS That’s right, always has been… BRONTO Good morning, Breakfast. CASHIER Why does everyone keep calling me that?! MR GUS …always will be. UNCLE GRANDPA That’s a relief. It’s a lot easier to take you seriously now that you’re not named after a meal. Which is why I’ve decided to let you make all the important decisions around here. MR GUS Thanks, Uncle Caveman. As a matter of fact, I was thinking we should expand our menu. UNCLE GRANDPA Already made that decision without you, MR GUS. By installing a super cool snow-cone machine! It’s the most powerful one on the market! Oops! MR GUS Wait! UNCLE GRANDPA Good morning! UNCLE GRANDPA Hey fellas! It’s the weirdest day of the month! Because, the new issue of Weirdman is out! Who’s gonna get weird with me? Huh? Looks like it’s just you and me, Belly Bag. BELLY BAG Time to get weird! Our story begins with Weirdman enjoying a typical sunny Sunday. WEIRDMAN That’s enough basketball for today. Weirdman speaking. Oh, Mr. President! PRESIDENT WEIRDMAN A giant asteroid headed straight for earth? That will kill billions of people? Hmm. I’ll need two of your finest space shuttles and some super glue, no time to explain. PRESIDENT WEIRDMAN Alright boys, I’m ready. NASA GUY Stand by for lift off in 5, 4, 3 PRESIDENT Come on Weirdman, America is counting on you. NASA GUY 2, 1, lift off. WEIRDMAN I’m going to space!! Oh say can you seeee!! Hammana hammana hammana!! Ahh! NASA GUY General, asteroid approaching in 60 seconds. WEIRDMAN She’ll be coming around the mountain when she comes. She’ll be coming around the mountain, she’ll be coming around the mountain, she’ll be NASA GUY 10 seconds. PRESIDENT Wow, Weirdman, America owes you a great deal of thanks. We will never forget your heroic deed. But I have to ask you. Why did you stretch out your legs with two of our finest space shuttles? WEIRDMAN Come here. Because if I didn’t, it wouldn’t have been weird. PRESIDENT Oh. Right. Of course. WEIRDMAN To America. Land of the free. Home of the weird! Until next time boys! BELLY BAG I guess you could say that Weirdman always has a “leg up” on danger, right Uncle Grandpa? Uncle Grandpa? UNCLE GRANDPA Weirdman Weirdman Weirdman.