ARTIST COP_1 COP_2 DIRTBIKE GORILLA HANDSOME_SAM MOLEMAN MOLE_PEOPLE MORE MR_GUS NARRATOR PHONE_VOICE PIZZA_STEVE STICKS UNCLE_GRANDPA UNCLE_GRANDPA_2 PIZZA STEVE C’mon, Uncle G! Let’s go dude! You’ve been in there since the ice age. UNCLE GRANDPA Just a minute Pizza Steve, I’m cleaning out my mustache! PIZZA STEVE C’mon! C’mon! UNCLE GRANDPA All done! Pizza Steve! What’cha doin with my hundred dollar bill, buddy? PIZZA STEVE Whoa whoa, now Uncle G! Let’s not bust our crust now, bro. This right here ain’t your hundred dollar bill. UNCLE GRANDPA What are you talking about?! That greenback was in my ‘stache! PIZZA STEVE That’s what I’m trying to tell ya buddy. This greenback is no greenback at all. U UNCLE GRANDPA It’s not? PIZZA STEVE Yeah. This is… uhm… uhmm… uhhh… its uhh… uhh… It’ssssss… It’s Mr. Gus! UNCLE GRANDPA Hmmm… But if that’s Mr. Gus… Then who’s that green back over there on our couch? PIZZA STEVE Oh. Probably just some weirdo stranger. UNCLE GRANDPA Wierdo stranger? Excuse me for a moment. PHONE VOICE Police Department. UNCLE GRANDPA Hi, cops. Say, there’s a weirdo stranger in the RV. MR GUS Just so you know I blame you completely for whatever is about to happen. COP 2 Freeze! COP 1 Freeze! COP 1 After him! MR GUS UNCLE GRANDPA Phew! That sure was scary! Wasn’t it, Pizza Steve? PIZZA STEVE Yeah, whatever. MR GUS Don’t tase me bro! Ow! PIZZA STEVE Uncle G, whaddya say me, you, and Mr. Gus here, head over to the mall. I’ve got a little moolah to spend! UNCLE GRANDPA You, me, and Mr. Gus, huh? PIZZA STEVE Just you, me, and Mr. Gus! Is there a problem with that? UNCLE GRANDPA Oh no… No problem at all. PIZZA STEVE Good. UNCLE GRANDPA What should we do first? We could play in the funzone… or take a ride in the elevator… or help the mole people overthrow the food court. MOLE PEOPLE MOLEMAN UNCLE GRANDPA So, what do ya say? PIZZA STEVE All that stuff sounds boring. Whoa, hold up Uncle G, Mr. Gus wants to go to the arcade! Isn’t that right Mr.Gus? That’s right, Steven. UNCLE GRANDPA Well, I guess so long as Mr. Gus is on board. PIZZA STEVE Oh, you don’t mind at all, do ya buddy?! UNCLE GRANDPA So what do ya wanna play first, guys? PIZZA STEVE Oh, uh, say Uncle G… why don’t you go play gorilla taxi, while Mr. Gus and I make some change! UNCLE GRANDPA Gorilla Taxi!? Oh Boy!! GORILLA Who wants to ride my taxi?! UNCLE GRANDPA I do! Step on it gorilla taxi man! GORILLA Hey doofus, you gotta tell me where to go. UNCLE GRANDPA Okay, go right… Now go straight! GORILLA This is bananas! UNCLE GRANDPA Now make a left! Turn right! PIZZA STEVE Oh perfect. UNCLE GRANDPA Go straight. Okay go right. PIZZA STEVE One hundred big ones! That’s gotta be like 45 quarters at least! Pizza Steve hit the jackpot! UNCLE GRANDPA Now straight. Stop sign!! PIZZA STEVE Huh?! Hmm UNCLE GRANDPA Whoa! Nice maneuver! We’re gonna get there in record time! PIZZA STEVE C’monn! No way! UNCLE GRANDPA Oh, man! Traffic?! Looks like we’re going nowhere fast! PIZZA STEVE Ha Ha! Stevie just got a break! UNCLE GRANDPA Whoa!! How’d you know about that shortcut gorilla guy?! Now were gonna get there even sooner! PIZZA STEVE C’mon! C’mon! C’mon! C’mon! What the?? UNCLE GRANDPA Okay gorilla man, one more left turn, and we’re there! PIZZA STEVE Uhhh… Lets try the flip side… Grrr cmmonnn!! Get… in there… Already… UNCLE GRANDPA Pizza Steve! Why’re you shoving Mr. Gus into the machine? PIZZA STEVE Machine?? Oops! Hehe! I thought I was helping him get into the little dino’s room. Sorry, dude. We’re still buds. See? UNCLE GRANDPA Okay Pizza Steve, But just remember… I’ve got my eye on you. PIZZA STEVE Oookaay… Man, how am I gonna spend these duckets if Uncle G keeps watching me like a lizard hawk. There’s gotta be a way to distract him! Hey! Uncle G! Check it! Caricatures! ARTIST Next!! I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I— UNCLE GRANDPA Hey! Draw me! Good mornin’ ARTIST Okay… UNCLE GRANDPA Wait! Mr.Gus! What are you doing? You love caricatures! Jump in here, buddy! PIZZA STEVE Uhh… I think caricatures are dumb now! UNCLE GRANDPA Hmm… That doesn’t sound like something Mr. Gus would say… Unless you’re not the real Mr. Gus, and you’re really just my lost hundred dollar bill. PIZZA STEVE What’s that, Mr. Gus? Mr. Gus has to go to the little dino’s room! We’ll be uh, we’ll be right back. UNCLE GRANDPA So how’s it looking so far? UNCLE GRANDPA 2 Not bad. It’s just like I’m looking into a mirror, but it’s not a mirror it’s a sketchpad! PIZZA STEVE Hahahah! Yes! Finally! I’m gonna spend these hard-earned buckos! MR GUS Hard earned? You stole this money from Uncle Grandpa! PIZZA STEVE What is going on here?! Is this my conscience trying to tell me something? MR GUS Kind, old Uncle Grandpa who treated you like family, who-who-who took care of you when you were sick… and… Huh? PIZZA STEVE I forgot, I don’t have a conscience. Keep the change! Uncle G, I … UNCLE GRANDPA No more words, Pizza Steve! I saw everything! PIZZA STEVE Ya did?? UNCLE GRANDPA Yep, that lady has kidnapped Mr. Gus! We gotta save him, buddy! Unless. That isn’t Mr. Gus and it’s my lost hundred dollar bill. PIZZA STEVE We’re coming for you, Mr. Gus! UNCLE GRANDPA We did it, Pizza Steve! We saved Mr. Gus! PIZZA STEVE Uh, maybe we should get outta here, Uncle G. COP 1 You! Stop right there! PIZZA STEVE Quick! Get in! UNCLE GRANDPA They probably want to thank me for saving Mr. Gus! Unless of course… This isn’t the real Mr. Gus… PIZZA STEVE Just get in, will ya? UNCLE GRANDPA Okay! COP 1 Pull over your vehicle! UNCLE GRANDPA Pizza Steve, you’re bad at driving. You should let Mr. Gus drive! PIZZA STEVE COP 1 This is your last warning! Pull over! Grrr! Okay then! Run them off the road! COP 2 But I’m only two weeks from retirement! COP 1 We’re all only two weeks from retirement thanks to a mismanagement of our cities pension plan for public servants! UNCLE GRANDPA Good mornin’. We’ve sure been hearing a lot about pensions lately. And that’s an awfully big word! Who even knows what it means? I’m no Washington Insider, but I am Uncle Grandpa. Hi, I’m Uncle Grandpa. This election day, I want you to remember. I’m the only candidate about to crash into a wall at 100 miles per hour. COP 2 Alright, Uncle Grandpa! Give us the money! UNCLE GRANDPA But I don’t have any money! This is my friend, Mr. Gus! Pizza Steve said so! COP 1 Tell, ya’ what. Just give me the money and I’ll let you off with a warning. PIZZA STEVE Soo… If I just come clean… and admit that I lied, then, this nightmare will be over? All I have to do is tell -- the truth? UNCLE GRANDPA This is the worst! Locked in jail with that weirdo stranger! PIZZA STEVE Heyy! What are you talking about, Uncle G? We’re not in jail! We’re in the RV! And that’s not a weirdo stranger, it’s Mr. Gus! I broke him out of jail by super-kicking the guard! UNCLE GRANDPA We had quite the adventure today, huh? I’m just glad we’re back in the RV safe and sound! UNCLE GRANDPA Good mornin’! NARRATOR When the evil forces shadow guy gripped the city… It’s up to four turtle brothers. Sticks. Dirtbike. Handsome Sam and More! The Kung-fu Turtles! STICKS Ooh! I’m hungry. Is anyone else hungry? Should we order food? I don’t want to order if it’s just me. HANDSOME SAM Yeah, I’m pretty hungry. DIRTBIKE I’m not really. STICKS Yeah but by the time it gets here you probably will be. So just order something. DIRTBIKE Okay, so why’d you even ask? If you’re just going to tell me when I’m hungry. STICKS Hey, don’t start, kay? MORE Where are you ordering from? STICKS Ohh, I don’t know. Suggestions? What do you guys feel like? HANDSOME SAM I’ll eat anything. MORE I just don’t want Italian. STICKS What about Mexican? DIRTBIKE Nah. STICKS Oh, “Mr. Not-hungry,” I thought you weren’t hungry. DIRTBIKE When I’m hungry, I don’t want Mexican. What about sushi? MORE Ugh! I’m mad you even suggested that. STICKS Well how bout Thai? Dirtbike, you want Thai food? Handsome Sam, how’s Thai food sound? HANDSOME SAM I already told you I don’t care. Seriously I will literally eat anything. Just hurry up and do it. STICKS Geez, fine. I’m calling. Get all mad. Hello. I would like to make an order for delivery please. Wait—you know what? We forgot to figure out what we want. Can you hold on? You’re right. It’s better to call you back. I know you’re very busy. Yeah, I know that was silly of me. Geez! Okay, bye! Well, we can’t order from there! I just totally embarrassed myself in front of that man on the phone! Now we gotta find another Thai place! What’s that other Thai place? With the orange door? NARRATOR Later. STICKS Okay, did ya get all that? … Yeah, yeah that’s right. One order of pineapple fried rice, hold the pineapple, green papaya salad, beef waterfall, extra water, jungle curry, fish maw soup, double maw, shoo shee giant shrimp, larb and uh, I’m sorry what? Hold on a sec. Hey guys, why are we called the Kung-fu Turtles again? NARRATOR Kung-fu Turtles!