ANNOUNCER BELLY_BAG FLY HOST JIM LEFTOVERS LEFTOVERS_1 LEFTOVERS_2 LEFTOVERS_3 LEFTOVER_1 LEFTOVER_2 LEFTOVER_3 MR_GUS PIZZA_STEVE STANDUP_COMEDIAN TRASH_MONSTER TV_HOST UNCLE_GRANDPA VIDEO_DATE_ANNOUNCER* TV HOST So Jim, you can either pick one of these lovely ladies, or for the 20th consecutive episode, stick with the cactus. We’ll find out after the break! UNCLE GRANDPA Slouchin’ on the couch! Uh oh! I gotta eat! But I gotta be quick! To the microwave! Hmmmm. Hmmmm. Better go with 15. I can’t miss the end of “Love or Cactus.” Ding dong!! Good mornin’! A mess like this belongs in the trash. FLY The stench! UNCLE GRANDPA Hmph! Aww yeah! ANNOUNCER We now return to “Love or Cactus.” MR GUS Uh, Uncle Grandpa. It’s your turn to take out the trash. UNCLE GRANDPA Don’t worry, MR GUS. I’ll do it after Jim makes his final decision. MR GUS Uh huh. PIZZA STEVE Uh, excuse me, where’s your hat bro? MR GUS PIZZA STEVE Eh, you would wear that. HOST So Jim? What is your final deci— JIM I’m gonna stick with cacty! UNCLE GRANDPA Whaaaaaaaaaaat?!! I knew it. Uh, oh. Trash. Whoa! Wha-ah-ah, oh! Ew, it’s garbage!! PIZZA STEVE BELLY BAG Help us Uncle Grandpa! PIZZA STEVE We’re being pulled under! MR GUS I told you to take out the traaaa— PIZZA STEVE I’m too handsome to die! UNCLE GRANDPA Don’t worry guys! I’ll save—york! Yeeesh! How long was I out?! Mr. Goose?! Pretty Steve? Where the dong diddle did everybun go? Are you Mr. Goose? Haha! Tell me about it! Shhhhh!! Do you hear that, Billy?! BELLY BAG Help us Uncle Grandpaaaaaa! UNCLE GRANDPA Boogie board! I’m comin’ for ya, friends! Woooah, holy bananas! A banana peel minefield! One false step and I could fall on my rump! Goooofs! Phewp! UNCLE GRANDPA Technically I didn’t fall on my rump. Unkee jampa one, bananas-a-zero! Oof! What was I saying? Oh yeah! Bananas are actually a type of berry. Now to save my frieeeeeends! You get used to this lifestyle. Hmm. Some kind of junk mail rainforest I guess. I’ll just have to walk through it of course! Nothing of interest—huhhwuh?! Uh. Tooty five persment! Hogies! What a find! Hoo-wee! One of a kind find – oh yes. Oh, that looks like a bargain. So many deals! Aaaaaaa- Must resist. Have to save buddies. Grooh! Grah gree bit grabby gore! Hoooooooooof! Hoo! Hah! I’ll never grow old and I’ll never die. UNCLE GRANDPA Pizza Starve?! Dr. Feelgoose?? Hm! Nobody here I guess. Owww. LEFTOVER 1 Hey, you! Hey! Heeeeeey! You’re Uncle Grandpa! LEFTOVER 2 Hey! LEFTOVER 1 You’re Uncle Grandpa! LEFTOVER 3 Heeeey! LEFTOVER 1 You got a lot of nerve coming to the land of leftovers! LEFTOVER 2 Heeeeeey! LEFTOVER 3 Hey! Hey! LEFTOVERS 2 You didn’t want us! Gobble! Gobble! One of us! You didn’t want us! You didn’t w—hey!! LEFTOVERS 1 You didn’t want us! Gobble! Gobble! One of us! You didn’t want us! You didn’t w—hey!! LEFTOVERS 3 You didn’t want us! Gobble! Gobble! One of us! You didn’t want us! You didn’t w—hey!! LEFTOVER 1 He’s getting’ away! LEFTOVER 1 Let’s get him! LEFTOVERS 1 Heeeey! Hey, hey, hey, hey! LEFTOVERS 2 Heeeey! Hey, hey, hey, hey! LEFTOVERS 3 Heeeey! Hey, hey, hey, hey! UNCLE GRANDPA I think I’m losing ‘em. Doink! LEFTOVER 1 There he is! LEFTOVERS Heeeey! Hey! LEFTOVER 2 Let’s cook him and eat him. LEFTOVERS 3 Hey! Yeah! Hey! UNCLE GRANDPA Huh huh huh Uhhhh. Howsabout I uhhh. How ‘bout I eat you all now?! LEFTOVERS 1 Heeeey! Yeah!! Huhuhuhu! Heeeey! LEFTOVERS 2 Heeeey! Yeah!! Huhuhuhu! Heeeey! LEFTOVERS 3 Heeeey! Yeah!! Huhuhuhu! Heeeey! UNCLE GRANDPA Haha! Great! Well then. Let’s get cookin’! Here ya go little leftover person. LEFTOVER 2 Yippee! LEFTOVER 3 Yay! He does wanna us! LEFTOVER 2 We are food! LEFTOVER 1 Leftover party! Guys, we’re finally goin’ home! LEFTOVERS 1 Woooooooooooh! LEFTOVERS 2 Woooooooooooh! LEFTOVERS 3 Woooooooooooh! UNCLE GRANDPA Hmmmm, let’s see here. Woopsy! Uh! Oof! Uh-oh. TRASH MONSTER Guuuuh! UNCLE GRANDPA Just like Mama Grandpa used to make. Good job! TRASH MONSTER Gruuuuuh! Oorp! Bluck! UNCLE GRANDPA Ma buddies! PIZZA STEVE Uhh. Uncle G, you gotta take out the trash before it takes us out! UNCLE GRANDPA I got an idea! I’m a lightbulb! So ah, hey Trash Monster, uh I was thinkin’, I’d really like to take you out, on a date. TRASH MONSTER Oh! STANDUP COMEDIAN Yeah so, uh. That’s how men and women are different? UNCLE GRANDPA Yaaar! Laaah! Fralalalalaaaa! TRASH MONSTER UNCLE GRANDPA Now! Go! Go! Go! And that’s, how you take out the trash! TRASH MONSTER JIM Such raw beauty. TRASH MONSTER JIM I choose love. TRASH MONSTER MR GUS Does he see us? PIZZA STEVE I don’t know! UNCLE GRANDPA Bwoooo! Bwooooo! Bzzz zoooooooooooop! Bwoooooop! PIZZA STEVE No! No! No! UNCLE GRANDPA Bwooooooop! Gninrom doog! UNCLE GRANDPA Uh, my perfect woman has to be a non-snorer. She has to enjoy the company of bees and she must be immune to all types of poison. If women were cats, I’d be a real ladies man. MR GUS I am so alone! N-no! Please don’t! Don’t wipe to the next--- argh!! PIZZA STEVE Yo ladies! It’s Pizza Steve! Or as my friends call me, Super Slice, Mr. Top Slice Supreme, King Thickcrust, El Grande Slice-io. But you can just call me “the coolest pepperoni encrusted dude you will ever meet.” BELLY BAG Hi. I love ladies. And I’m happy to say that, generally, with the possible exception of the one living in Cleveland, that ladies love me!! And what’s not to love, really? I got everything a lady needs. Like day old pretzels, snails, and a gently used car battery! UNCLE GRANDPA Are you, urrrrrruuuoooaaa urrrp! Do you like what you see? VIDEO DATE ANNOUNCER Please make your selection. UNCLE GRANDPA Uh! Uh-uh! Oo, uh, uh! Uh oh. 11