CARBOARD_CITY_KID CRAIG DUANE EMPLOYEE JESSICA JP JUNK_LORD KELSEY NICOLE RICHARD SONG CRAIG ahh, raisin nuts – a cereal that looks like old trees and tastes even worse. it’s like eating the creek. nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom! CRAIG wh-hoa! now this is a cereal prize! DUANE gimme dat! CRAIG heeey, finder’s keepers! DUANE finder’s keepers? boy, i bought this! it’s my anniversary gift for your mom! i’ve been hiding it from her all week in the raisin nuts nobody eats… because they look dry and nasty. CRAIG you’re dry and nasty! DUANE that’s fair. i’m outta lotion. anyway, i got me and your mom a dinner reservation for tonight. and after that, i’m gonna give her this. CRAIG dinner reservations and a fancy box?! okay, i see you. no need to flex. DUANE craig, it’s not just a box, it’s-- NICOLE duaaaa-aaaane! DUANE she comin’! quick! put it back in the cereal! put it back in the box, craig!!! NICOLE dooo youuu knooow whaat to-daaaay issss, huh? it’s our anni-ver-sa-ryyyy! woo! maaaade for you and meeee! JESSICA blegh! the smooching… so much smooching. NICOLE guess where i’m taking you this afternoon. i’ll give you three tries. DUANE okay, um-- NICOLE we’re going to the daaaay spaaaa! ha! they got couples massages, a sauna and bathrobes i don’t have to put in the laundry. DUANE heeey, i like the sound of that! DUANE craig, watch your sister for us ’til we get back. promise to love, cherish and protect this box with your life! CRAIG i do. CRAIG hey jessica, wanna go hang at the creek? JESSICA there won’t be smooches there, right? CRAIG uh… i don’t think so. JESSICA okay, byyeee!!! NICOLE ohhh, a day full of relaxation. you could use it, duane. DUANE yep. so nasty… JP this is the fanciest ball i’ve ever seen! it’s got corners and everything! JESSICA boy, that’s a box. KELSEY man, i bet that fancy box could hold some fancy stuff! what do you think your mom’s gonna put in there, craig? CRAIG i dunno, spare house key? uh, spare car key? maybe even a spare key to my dad’s heart… JP oh, to be young and in love. CRAIG they’re parents, jp. they’re old and in love. and while they’re gone, there’s no better time to go on an adventure… to soda canyon! a natural wonder filled with discarded soda cans from across the ages! maybe we’ll find some that haven’t been opened or hit their expiration date yet! JESSICA soda? before dinner? can i have a whole can? CRAIG who said you had to stop at one? JESSICA a better world is possible… JESSICA to soda can-yon!!! JP KELSEY c’mon, craig! CRAIG i’m coming, i’m coming! just a hop… a skip… and a-- JP after that ball!!! CRAIG noooo… JP looks like you ruined your parents’ anniversary, craig. ah, happens to the best of us. JESSICA we have to get it back, craiggy! if we don’t, mom and dad will never get married in the past! which means we won’t exist! ohmygosh! it’s happening! i’m fading away! remember me, small uncle! CRAIG don’t worry, we’re not gonna disappear, jessica. but if we don’t get that box back, we’re gonna be… in trouble. KELSEY trouble?! but that’s vague enough to mean anything! CRAIG exactly! we gotta find that box! JESSICA you’re slowing us down, small uncle! JESSICA it’s daddy! he knows we lost it! CRAIG no, he doesn’t. we just have to play it cool. CRAIG hello, father. DUANE my guy. thanks for taking that present from me. i didn’t want your mom to see-- CRAIG we didn’t lose the present!!! DUANE what? CRAIG okay, we did lose the present. i’m sorry! DUANE what?! CRAIG w-w-we’ll find it, i promise! love you byeeeee! DUANE wait! craig-- NICOLE hey, what are you doing on the phone? DUANE oh, just checking on the kids. making sure they haven’t lost… themselves… in having fun. NICOLE duane, honey, you need to relax. have a cucumber slice. EMPLOYEE uh, ma’am. those are for your eyes. NICOLE uh, i paid for this spa day, they’re gonna be for whatever i want ‘em for! can you believe this? CRAIG what the?! CRAIG is this some kind of net for catching garbage? the box should’ve floated right here. where is it? KELSEY who would wanna collect a bunch of garbage? JESSICA you guys! small uncle found something! well… i did, but small uncle needs a confidence boost. look! CRAIG the junk lord! JUNK LORD heh heh, an old sock. a dirty clown wig. my new junk net is working perfectly. CRAIG hey, junk lord! JUNK LORD hey craig! whatcha doing? better not be looking for any junk, because it’s mine, all mine! CRAIG no, we’re looking for something that’s definitely not junk. a fancy box. did it get caught in your net? JUNK LORD hmm, a box… check near the socks or the clocks or maybe the bike locks. i organize my trash by rhyme. NICOLE ohhh yeahhh, that’s the spot. EMPLOYEE now, sir, you might feel some pressure. DUANE yeah, yeah, do what ya gotta do, man, okay? DUANE craig! please tell me you found my gift! DUANE i said “gift,” not “gif!” yeooww!!! CRAIG hey, i think i found it! CRAIG nice junk cat, nice junk cat… CRAIG how about you just paw over the box? CRAIG dah! get back here! CRAIG it’s getting away! CRAIG CRAIG CRAIG CRAIG oh no. it landed in cardboard city… JESSICA oh hello! we’re looking for a box. CARBOARD CITY KID yeah… you’ll have to be more specific. NICOLE duane? DUANE h-hey! NICOLE you doin’ okay? you sure are sweatin’ a lot. DUANE oh, uh… uh, you know, it’s just so steamy in this sauna! NICOLE baby, we’re in the lounge. JP nothing here! KELSEY ahh! nothing here! JESSICA nothing here-- i’m so sorry! i didn’t mean to peek at your box booty! JESSICA oof! JESSICA the box! RICHARD watch where you’re going. CRAIG jessica! you okay? JESSICA i’m okay, no thanks to him! KELSEY it’s richard! the vile fiend who tried to call dibs on our stump! KELSEY i swore if you ever crossed my path again, i’d call dibs on slicing you in tween! JP wait, kelsey! we don’t want to endanger the ball! it’s-- RICHARD mine. thanks to a little something called finders keepers. CRAIG i don’t think you understand. that box belongs to my dad. we need it back. RICHARD no. JP have you no heart?! RICHARD well, i guess i’d be willing to trade it… for something cool. JP ha! you drive a hard bargain. fine! we’ll trade you this shoe i found in the junkyard. KELSEY and this ancient coin from the year two- zero-zero-six. RICHARD mm, no. i want the bag. JP craig’s purse?! no, no… it’s iconic, it’s a part of him. what else do you want? the extra bump from the top of his beautiful head!?! RICHARD give me the purse and everything in it or no deal. CRAIG aww… my mom gave me this purse. but… the box is for my mom, from dad. i made a promise. hnnng… fine! i’ll trade you! KELSEY JP oh i ca-- i can’t! oh i can’t! JESSICA but, craig-- RICHARD on the ground. CRAIG huh? RICHARD put the purse on the ground. CRAIG and why should i do that? i’m not the untrustworthy one here. RICHARD whatever. on the ground. RICHARD finders keepers. CRAIG no… KELSEY ugh! you monster!!! yahhh!!! let me at him! let me at him!!! CRAIG this isn’t fair! RICHARD eh, “life” isn’t fair. CRAIG i’ll just tell my dad and accept my fate. let’s just go. JP there he goes. grounded kid walkin’. KELSEY we’ll rename the stump after you! JESSICA you’re right, small uncle, it’s the right thing to do. JESSICA excuse me, mr. richard? i have something for you. RICHARD oh well, if it’s something you care about… JESSICA a lesson!!! don’t!!! steal!!! SONG it’s small uncle to burst your whole bubble redact your wack tracks reduce you to rubble small uncle JESSICA small uncle stunner!!!! RICHARD oooooooooooooh!!!!!! JESSICA finders keepers! KELSEY dang. JP okay byeee! RICHARD what… was… that… DUANE oww oww! ooo! NICOLE ah ah ah ah! now duane, you really gotta sit still during the massage, your whole body hurts! look, you don’t have to take me out to dinner. let’s just eat at home. DUANE nicole, it wasn’t just the dinner, i-- JESSICA we’re home we didn’t lose anything! CRAIG we’re home we didn’t lose anything! JESSICA hey mom, doesn’t small uncle look a little weird to you? NICOLE girl, what? why does that smell like garbage? and why do you smell like garbage? CRAIG here’s your anniversary box, dad. i’m so sorry we lost it, and i’m sorry it’s dirty and— DUANE it’s okay, my guy. all that matters to me is that your mom has a wonderful day. besides, it’s what’s inside that’s important. NICOLE the cat did what with his beanie? DUANE happy anniversary, baby. NICOLE duannnne! okay, now this smells like garbage, too… NICOLE NICOLE oh! it’s perfect, duane! DUANE gaaaaaaaaaah! CRAIG there was something in there?! JESSICA there was something in there?! 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