BUG_BIGWIGS DUNG_BEETLES EDDIE FEMALE_DUNG_BEETLE HECKLER_AT_THE_BACK LADY_MANTIS LOUIE MALE_DUNG_BEETLE MAYOR MO MR_WILMOT PEBBLEDASH TANNOY TODDLERS TROODI WILBERFORCE EDDIE «And as ‘Awesome’ Eddie Boulder powers his way to a billion press-ups, the crowd goes wild!» EDDIE Hey, I said ‘the crowd goes wild’, not ‘delivers the mail’! ‘Eddie Boulder, your presence is requested at the Bug of the Year Award.’ ‘Bug of the Year’? Why would they invite me to such a swanky event? Unless I'm Bug of the Year! Hey Louie! EDDIE Guess who’s been invited to the Bug Of The Year award!? LOUIE Me. EDDIE What?! No. Only very, VERY Important Bugs get invited, so- Oh! You must be my Plus One! MO Hey, look what I got! Hihihi ! EDDIE Hey, whaddayaknow - I get a Plus Two!! Nothing’s too good for the winner, right?! MO You’ve not won, Eddie. It’s the award for whoever’s done most for the community, and the only thing you’ve ever done for the community is stop eating chilli burritos. EDDIE Hey ! That was a sacrifice! LOUIE And we all appreciate it. But everyone knows Lady Mantis is gonna give the award to Mr Wilmot this year. EDDIE Him ?! Nah! Okay, he’s a great guy who helps everyone he meets and keeps the lift – and therefore the entire city – running BUT - can he do this!? MO Ooh, we’ll get to see the ceremonial jewels, The Sparkly Greens! They’ve got a fascinating history, you know… LOUIE Later, Mo, I’ve got to go and select my outfit for tonight! EDDIE «And the crowd goes wild!» EDDIE Guys, guys, guys - winners don’t queue, winners walk ! This way! MO Eddie, you HAVEN’T won! You’ve done NOTHING for Shifty Sands. EDDIE Please, just by being The Ed-ster I’m helping the community! They LOVE me! EDDIE Sorry, guys, no time for selfies, I’ve an award to collect! PEBBLEDASH Staff entrance is round the back. EDDIE Y’hear that? Staff entrance is round the back. My presence, on the other hand, has been ‘reeeee-quested’. Ahaha ! PEBBLEDASH Yes, to work! As staff. PEBBLEDASH Oh - my - swat, you didn’t think you were GUESTS!? LOUIE No, he thought he’d won the award! PEBBLEDASH Oh, it’s too much, I can’t wait to tell the Top Table THAT little fact-a-roo! Speaking of which - hi, Mr Wilmot! MR WILMOT «Thank you for this totally unexpected Award » BUG BIGWIGS Hi ! / Hello Mr Wilmot ! PEBBLEDASH That’s a proper invitation! In you go, Mr Winner, oops, I mean Wilmot! MR WILMOT Thank you, Pebbledash, but these good bugs were here before me – After you, everybody! BUG BIGWIGS What a great guy! PEBBLEDASH I thought you’d be pleased I even got you in as staff! LOUIE Is a staff meal included? Maybe? EDDIE Gotta be in it to win it, right? Who says Lady Mantis can’t change her mind? All I’ve got to do is show her what REAL awesomeness looks like! EDDIE Uh ! Baby-sitting How can I show off my awesomeness baby-sitting? LOUIE Come on, Eddie, just look at these cute kids ! Roodi…Doodi…Troodi, am I right? TODDLERS LOUIE Hey! Who threw that? We do NOT throw pudding! EDDIE He’s right kids. That’s a waste of pudding. Especially when I’m trying to think howto show Lady Mantis what an awesome guy I Wait, Louie, you’re right! They ARE cute kids…! Hihihi ! MO Aren’t they beautiful? Lady Mantis only puts them on when she announces the winner. They’re priceless… MALE DUNG BEETLE Everything has a price. If you know where to go. MO Are you like jewel experts or something? MALE DUNG BEETLE Let’s just say we’re a big fan of the priceless variety... FEMALE DUNG BEETLE We’re just waiters. The posh kid hired us. PEBBLEDASH Why am I bringing in perfectly good staff and checking coats myself? Next thing you know I’ll be handing out juice. EDDIE Okay, kids - «Eddie! Bug Of The Year! Eddie! Bug Of The Year!» LOUIE Eddie, this isn’t right. We should be engaging with these kids in a responsible, nurturing, community-minded way… EDDIE Okay, Louie. How about a game of Blind Bug’s Buff? LOUIE Ooh, that sounds fun, doesn’t it, kids!? LOUIE Uncle Louie's gonna get ya! EDDIE Okay, kids, let’s try it again. «Eddie! Bug Of The Year!» MAYOR Huu? Honeybug? When I asked you to hire some staff, you got references right…? PEBBLEDASH Oh, Daddy, you don’t seriously expect me to check references AND have enough time to look this glam? Hihi ! TODDLERS Neddy! Bag of Ears! Neddy! Bag of Ears! TODDLERS Neddy! Bag of Ears! Neddy! Bag of Ears! EDDIE Aw, kids, I know I’m awesome, but you don’t need to sing my name SO loud! LADY MANTIS Yes, they ARE rather loud, aren’t they Neddy. EDDIE Eddie. Yeah, I’m a bit of a hero to these little mites. Sure, it’s been a sacrifice, but to see their little faces smiling up at me is reward enough. Or is it? EDDIE Hu… Oh no! Roodi, Doodi or Troodi is missing! Where- MR WILMOT Don’t panic, Eddie, I caught little Roodi running off. Héhé ! EDDIE Thanks, Mr Wilmot! What a great guy… Which means we’re going to have to work even harder to beat him - EDDIE Oh ! That’s ma boy! TROODI I’m Twoodi! I’m a GIRL! EDDIE Kid, in this town you can be whatever you want. Okay, guys, let’s show off your great work! I want everyone in this room to be yelling my name! TODDLERS teddy!! EDDIE Close enough. LOUIE I’m gonna get you ! Outch ! EDDIE Man, those kids have got it bad… TODDLERS we - love – you - teddy! LADY MANTIS Why are they calling you Teddy, Neddy? MR WILMOT «…you could say my career operating the lift began at the bottom and rose to the top. Haha!» MR WILMOT Oh, what lovely work! And what an inspirational Art teacher you must be! EDDIE Thanks, Mr Wilmot! What a great guy… He did it again ! TANNOY showtime! And before Lady Mantis hands out the Bug Of The Year Award, it’s that master of mimicry, welcome the wonderful Wilberforce! WILBERFORCE Good evening and who’s hoping to LIFT the Award tonight?! Why, it’s Mr Wilmot ! «Thank you for this totally expected Award» WILBERFORCE «This cake is delicious! So moist…» «And even tastier than my last two husbands!» EDDIE Showtime. Ahah !‘My last two husbands’. You are dangerously funny, Wilberforce ! EDDIE Hi, my name’s Neddy- Teddy - Eddie! You probably recognise me from my posters, right? MO Oh ! LOUIE Ha! Gotcha! LOUIE Aw, you’re not a kid. MO Never mind that. Louie, there’s something not quite right about those waiters. EDDIE Anyhoo – hah! - as you've no doubt heard MO What’s he doing ? EDDIE there's a rumour going round that I'm a pretty awesome bug… HECKLER AT THE BACK Pretty AWFUL more like! Put the big-eared bug back on! EDDIE What was I thinking ? Sure I’m amazing, everyone knows that, but what have I done for other people? MO These guys could tell yomo When you first met them, they were bored out of their litte minds. You gave them interesting stuff to do – EDDIE So I could win the Award. MO True, but they had fun, right? They sang, they painted, they gained confidence - LOUIE And they stopped throwing pudding... MO Oh! The Waiters! They’re stealing the Sparkly Greens! EDDIE We’ll see about that TROODI Wait Eddie! You told us not to. EDDIE And I was right! But this is an emergency so… Pudding away! DUNG BEETLES Ah!Oh! Warghhhhhhh!! EDDIE Roodi, legs! Troodi, back! Doodi, head! BUG BIGWIGS He’s saved the Sparkly Greens! / What a hero! LADY MANTIS After that entertaining interlude, I shall now announce the Bug Of The Year… LADY MANTIS For saving the Sparkly Greens... EDDIE BOULDER! EDDIE Louie, Mo, would you join me? EDDIE Because good friends are better than any awards. Tonight I learned how important it is to share- MO Oh, Eddie, I accept!! Thank you SOOO much, I LOVE it! LOUIE «Ever since I was a little larvae, I had this crazy dream…» EDDIE Guys, I didn’t mean share the Award! I meant share in our responsibilities to the community. True, what I did WAS awesome, but this Award is meant for someone who does something awesome every day, without any real thanks. EDDIE So, I’d like to pass this Award on to the bug we all know this should go to… EDDIE mr wilmot! MR WILMOT Me ? TODDLERS eddie! eddie! eddie ! MR WILMOT Uhm… «life of ups and… unexpected… uhm, bottoms… PEBBLEDASH Daddy says I need to make up for hiring crooked waiters. LOUIE Then bring us a big bowl of pudding and three spoons! EDDIE Make that six spoons! We’ll be on the Top Table! 6